Due to the live nature of the Fair Go Ad Awards, we apologise for the lack of captions for some items. Welcome to the Fair Go Ad Awards for 2013. We're live tonight to see what you voted the best and worst ads on the box this year. A big thanks to our live audience for joining us tonight. And the ad marketing teams are here ` some of them looking just a tad nervous. Ad makers don't know what they're up for. Here's a taste of the contenders for best and worst, PEACEFUL MUSIC ...before God, I now pronounce you husband` Fellas! (GASPS) Oh yes! But you're part of the real few that gets out there and gets it done. No biggie. Oh, my friend, yes biggie! I don't want to be put out on the road in a rubbish sack. I want to, um, have a nice funeral. # Looked into the rear-view. Can't believe my paua eyes. # Saw that fella Phar Lap take a whale for a ride. # GLASS BREAKS GROANING # Ain't nothing gonna break my stride. # SLOW, PLODDING MUSIC No. No. SQUEEGEE SQUEAKS UNPLEASANTLY You really need some water. This is how I always do it. It's pretty clear you can't clean without water here. Obviously. How about here? 'THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY' THEME It's not just our ad makers who'll be winning or losing. This Canon camera will be going to one lucky voter. We'll let you know who that is later in the show. Memorable characters can make or break an ad campaign. Mark has a favourite he's tracked down. Few are more memorable than the Spray and Walk Away guy. I wanted to know more about him. He is hilarious. We found out that he is a lovely guy with some special other talents. Look, lichen's dying. It's been on our screens since 2007. I walk away! Now watch how a TV ad for liquid cleaner crosses over into popular culture. WOMAN: I love your ad! We take its star to the mall. Oh, come here. Your ads are really cool. Oh, thank you. Ming-Jen Huang ` He's one of my heroes. immigrant, grandfather, proud NZer. He's a Kiwi icon. Do you like people coming up to you and say, 'Spray and walk away'? Yes, yes. Hit the roof! Not too many of our icons are made in Taiwan. Ming came here 18 years ago after a career as an international travel guide. He joined the Background Talent agency. and in 20007, he was thrown into the foreground to play a Japanese professor in the Spray and Walk Away ad. Keep it simple, said the director. Look, I still walk away! Always keep big smile, cos, uh, the things you invent is great. So give them the big, big, big smile. The 30 Second company must be smiling. Sales of the Spray and Walk Away have grown 200% since Ming came along. Hit the shower! But some were insulted in the beginning, claiming the ad was racist. I never understood that. Neither has Ming. He's playing a character. Um, that's all he's doing. Ad is nothing about racist. Most people we came across in the mall just think it's funny. ALL: Spray and walk away. (LAUGH) Always have a laugh when I see you. What is that stuff really like? Is it any good? Yeah. Yeah, the stuff quite good. Is that 30 Seconds or...? Yeah, 30 Seconds. And while Ming's English might not quite be the Queen's, he can sing beautifully in Te Reo. # Pokarekare ana # nga wai o Waiapu... # In fact, singing is Ming's first love. So could the next Spray and Walk Away ad be a musical? # 30 Seconds Spray and Walk Away # to kill moss, mould and lichen. # 30 Seconds Spray and Walk Away, # spray and walk away. # Every year the Fair Go team has a go at remaking some of the year's outstanding ads. This year we decided to remake the Fair Go opening titles and music, inspired by a rather beautiful car ad. Throughout the show we will show you how we made it. HELLO SAILOR'S 'GUTTER BLACK' Everyone loves a good remix, so when Holden's advertising team took this classic Kiwi track, # I cut the cord from my mother. # ...and had it performed by a string quartet, the result was magic. STRING QUARTET PLAYS 'GUTTER BLACK' It also got us thinking. What if we did a remix of our own? What if we took the Fair Go theme song from the '80s and mashed it up with our current one then gave it to someone awesome, like this guy,... That sounded good. and with the help of these amazing musicians had a crack at giving it a zhuzh? Would the results be magic too? Keep watching. We'll reveal all later in the show. I don't know why we agreed to do it. We get all nostalgic. # Thank you very much for the care you've taken. # Right, who drank my milk? You know I only drink soy. It's clearly got... ...my name on it. P-I... Wasn't me, mate. Is that my script? It's my script. INQUISITIVE MUSIC He is about to say, 'No split bills.' Now they're thinking, 'How are we going to work this one out?' Now they're really thinking. 'Just zap some money to Andy using his mobile number, and he can take care of it. Simple.' ANZ's thinking the same way. The ANZ goMoney app puts your bank in your hand wherever you are. Now they're thinking, 'Wow, that was easy. So, same time next week.' Welcome back to the Fair Go Ad Awards for 2013. This could be an awkward moment for some of the ad makers in our audience. But we are grateful that you came tonight. They've come here not knowing if their baby is in our best or worst vote. They're about to find out. Here are our worst ad finalists. FUNKY MUSIC When the rain starts falling, most of us head inside. But you're part of the rare few that gets out there and gets it done. No biggie. Ho, my friend, yes biggie! My children, they don't have to think about Mum dying. All they do is encourage me to live. A Signa funeral plan makes it easy to take a whole lot of stress away at a time when your family need you most. And if you call today, you'll get 10% off your first year's premiums. ROCK MUSIC ...to meet soul and happiness as one family before God. I now pronounce you husband` Fellas! (GASPS) Oh yes! GLASS BREAKS GROANING # Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, nobody gonna slow me... # For all sorts of contents insurance, call 0800 4STATE. SQUEEGEE SQUEAKS UNPLEASANTLY It's dirty. You really need some water. This is how I always do it. SQUEEGEE SQUEAKS UNPLEASANTLY It's pretty clear you can't clean without water here. Obviously. How about here? It's kind of like using toilet paper without cleansing cloths. Think twice about the way you clean. What were they thinking? That must be a very difficult product to advertise. So those were the worst ad finalists. The winner of the worst ad goes to ASB. You are a brave man from Saatchi & Saatchi. Congratulations is not quite the right word. But your ad has had an impact. We are glad to be here, though. The ad is about appreciating success, so we can see the irony. Let's bring your trophy here. Is the character a little bit too big for us to fully appreciate? He is amazing. And as home, he has 200 animals that he has saved. He is the guy. And we may all grow to love him. This trophy will be shared generously amongst all people who were involved. Starting with Shane. So that did not quite work for ASB. But one trend we have spotted in the last couple of years ` nostalgia. Kiwis apparently love it, and it sells. # Here is a country that can't be beat. # Ah, the '80s, when the telly ads told us the living was easy. Ooh! It was all blue skies, fun times and... # Thank you very much for doing the dishes. # ...random acts of chocolate kindness. # Now you're waiting on a friend. # Me and you. # But what you're watching now isn't just a nostalgic dip into the past. These are '80s ads pulled out of the archive to sell cars in 2013. It shouldn't work. Generally a technological product wants to live in the now, because pretty much every car brand would say they make better cars today than they did in the '80s. But Mitsi Mirage campaign did work. It picked up an Effie, the Oscars of the ad world. The target audience ` those who liked or bought the car first time round. What you remember is you were 20,... (CHUCKLES) you had no responsibilities, you drove in that car, so all the good feelings associated with that brand. So to bring that forward to today's car, I think, is very clever. I remember this from when I was a little girl. Nestle's Milky Bar ads also play on memory and nostalgia. Today's commercial... It's the Milky Bar Kid. ...tweaks memories from the '80s... It's the Milky Bar Kid! ...and even harks back to the '60s. It's the Milky Bar Kid! # The Milky Bar Kid is strong and tough. # Nostalgia can be particularly powerful for food and drinks because they're certain products and it tends to be things we consume. They're increasingly suspicious of how they make it today. MAN: By the '80s, the whole world thought it was, like, totally coolarama. Tip Top's new ad is all about longing for the good old days. The truck going back to nature... And while checking out old Tip Top ads, we found a young... And this is one of the coolest. ...Cliff Curtis. Cool, eh? Warm, authentic and fun. Three words which describe this nostalgic project ` the remaking of the classic Roses commercial. # Thank you very much for the care you've taken. # How do you make it relevant to a newer generation? You keep the song but funk it up. You find a frontman for all ages. And then there's Cupcake, the Pomeranian. (BARKS) He was a good find ` a dog that can bark on cue, which is not an easy thing to do. MAN: Rawr, rawr, rawr, rawr. That was perfect. > Nostalgic ads, like the current Bell Tea campaign, work because growing up and growing older with a brand actually makes us feel younger. Capture that feeling of youthfulness and somehow associate it with buying that product, it's pretty powerful. That Roses song takes about three days to get out of your head. That means it is successful. You saw earlier in the show that Holden's string quartet version of the classic song Gutter Black caught our eye. That inspired us to do a remix of the Fair Go theme songs, but we didn't stop there. Let's go behind the scenes and see what happened next. The stage is set, effects in place. The Fair Go theme song's been made up string quartet style, and it sounds fantastic. So getting the score written, well, that's one thing. But getting us to perform it? Well, that is a whole different story. I'm going from bad to worse! The largely musically inept Fair Go team are put in charge of some challenging instruments. Fortunately, our music maestros, Jess and Andrew, were on hand with a constant flow of tips. And adjustments. The question is can we perform them with such confidence and vigour that it convinces you we're playing them for real? ALL LAUGH Be very grateful that you did not have to hear more of that. After the break ` the ad you voted the best of 2013. And we take on the ad makers at their own game. CELL PHONE RINGS Libby, cut out the racket! Oh, chill out, will you? Chill out yourself. Welcome back to the Fair Go Ad Awards for 2013. This year the Westpac flatties ad got us thinking about our place. First up, take a look at the original ad. WEATHER REPORT PLAYS ON TV Right, who drank my milk? You know I only drink soy. It's clearly got 'Neville' on it. N-E-V... It wasn't me, bro. Is that my milk in there? It's my milk. It looks like blue top. No one drank your milk, mate. Well, it doesn't evaporate. OK, who's got washing in the machine? Here we go again. Don't look at me. It's never anyone's, is it? I don't wash. Well, that's obvious. My milk's gone. Well, did you put your name on it? Yes. < DRUMMING Darren! Cut the racket out! Oh, chill out, will you? Chill out yourself! I hate that guy. Look, guys, I think what we need here is a flat meeting. MAN: There are many ways Westpac can help you get a home of your own. Start asking. So here goes our version. 'ONE NEWS' THEME PLAYS ON TV Right, who's got my script? I hide mine. It's clearly got my name on it. P-I... Wasn't me, mate. Is that my script? It's my script. It looks like mine. No one took your script, Pippa. Well, it doesn't just disappear. OK, who's going into editing? Here we go again. Don't look at me. It's never anyone, is it? I don't edit. That's obvious. < CELL PHONE RINGS My script's gone. Did you put your name on it? Yes. CELL PHONE CONTINUES RINGING Can't wait to see you on Saturday night. Libby! Cut out the racket! Oh, chill out, will you? Oh, chill out, yourself. She drives me crazy. OK, guys, I think what we need here is a team meeting. There are many ways we can help you get a fair go. Start asking. We are actually all very fond of each other. Very scary when he shouts. Right, time for the Best Ad award for 2013, as voted by you. In no particular order, here are the five finalists you chose. FUNKY MUSIC PEACEFUL MUSIC ROCK MUSIC ...as one family before God. I now pronounce you husband` Fellas! (GASPS) Oh yes! You made it! # Looked into the rear-view. Can't believe my paua eyes. # Saw that fella Phar Lap take a whale for a ride. # Tasti bar. # Ooh, Tasti. # Ooh, Tasti. # Real, real Kiwi # but not quite as Kiwi. # This is a chocolate fish, and you can eat it now, or if you wait, you get another one. I'll be back soon. SLOW, PLODDING MUSIC No. No. 'THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY' THEME APPLAUSE ALL SHOUT MUSIC CONTINUES Thousands of hours in the last ad. We have some nervous clients and add makers waiting. The best at is the MasterCard. Congratulations. You came over from Sydney especially. Second year in a row. Neutrality is death. I'm happy to walk away with the best one. We have your award here. You have got a bit of a series on your hand. The actor is now priceless. You might make priceless. He is wonderful. And the all Blacks will be queueing up to be cast in it. The boys love working with him. Do people remember the ad is for MasterCard? They do. We are very pleased. Congratulations. Congratulations also to one lucky viewer. This Canon SX50 camera goes to... And remarkably, Ian voted for both our best and worst winners tonight. He runs a web design and photographic business from Waihi, so that Canon camera will no doubt be put to good use. Thanks for all your company this year ` watching, Facebooking and emailing us. Fair go is a family show, and we want our colleagues on stage. A big thank you to everyone out there. We stay hard at work for you over the summer, so we still want to hear from you. Thanks to everybody who helped put tonight's show together, especially Reina, who produced and directed our ad spoofs. And to Steve, our cameraman who is leaving us. Throughout the show, we've showed you glimpses of our version of a Holden ad. It's better seen than heard, believe me. This is the original, featuring a string quartet playing Hello Sailor's Kiwi classic Gutter Black. STRING QUARTET PLAYS 'GUTTER BLACK' Here is the Fair Go team not really playing a remake of the Fair Go theme song. ALL: Goodnight! ALL 'PLAY' FAIR GO THEME MASH-UP CAPTIONS BY DESNEY SHAW. CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR. COPYRIGHT TVNZ ACCESS SERVICES 2013