1 UPBEAT MUSIC # Been running so long # I nearly lost all track of time # In every direction # I couldn't see the warning signs # I must be losing it # Cos my mind plays tricks on me # It looks so easy # But you know looks sometimes deceive # Move it, dorkus. Come on, I think you're next. I'll take your ticket. Just come right round this way a little bit, keep your back straight. Put your books down and I want you to look right at the camera, OK? Here we go. Let me focus right over here. OK. That's good. Swing around this way a bit, Gina. It's Jenna. Look over here, Gina. It's Jenna. Oh, God. Oh, no. (BELL RINGS) Hey, Jenna. Matt, please. No more pictures. Come on, it's your 13th birthday, we gotta document it. Hi, Tom-Tom. Hey, Jenna. Hi, Beaver, how's everything at the dam? So, how did yours come out? Not too good. Mine aren't so hot. Yours are great. Yours are the best. God, you're so photogenic. I'll meet you out front? It's not like she needs a play-by-play. Freakazoid. See ya. Jenna, can I talk to you a tiny sec? I told Chris Grandy me and the Six Chicks were going to your party and he said he wanted to come with. Really? Yeah, it's too bad we can't make it cos we really wanted to, didn't we, girls? We totally did. So much. Miss Measley's totally up our butts with this group project proposal and Chris is gonna come and help us out, so I guess he can't come either. I could write your report for you. Fabuloso. You know, I can't believe you invited those clones. They're my friends. Six Chicks are not your friends, OK? Well, almost and some day I'm gonna be a Six Chick. There are six of them. That's the point. There can't be a seventh. It's just mathematically impossible. You're way cooler than them. They're totally unoriginal. I don't want to be original. I want to be cool. Want some Razzles? Razzles are for kids. Exactly. Arrivederci. Au revoir. # Jessie is a friend # And I know he's been a good friend of mine # But lately something's changed # It ain't hard to define # Jessie's got himself a girl and I want to make her mine # And she's watching him with those eyes # Hey. Happy birthday! Tell us about your life as a teenager. What did you do? Are you wearing a bra? Go away! Oh, honey, what's wrong? Self image. Jenna, it's going to be alright. It is not, Mom! Look at me! This is not OK! This is fatal! It's not fatal, it's realistic. I hate my life. Just cos you don't look like these girls in magazines doesn't mean you're not beautiful in your own way. I don't want to be beautiful in my own way. I want to look like these people. Those aren't people. They're models. "30, flirty and thriving." "Why the 30s are the best years of your life." I want to be 30. Well, you will be, honey, but right now you're my beautiful 13-year-old. # Cos this is thriller # Thriller night # Girl I can scare you more than any ghouls would ever dare try # Whoo hoo # Thriller night # So let me hold you tight and share a killer, chiller # Happy birthday, Jenna. Oh, my God, Matt. This is just part one of your present. What is it? You know how you always wanted a Barbie dream house? Well, I decided to make you your own Jenna dream house. You made all this? Wow, Matty. See, that's you in your bubble bath reading your favourite magazine and there's your bedroom with a huge stereo and every record ever made. The good ones and there's that bum Rick Springfield loafing on the couch. And there I am to make sure the creep keeps his hands to himself. Oh, I almost forgot. Wishing dust. Says... this wishing dust knows what's in your heart of hearts and it'll make all your dreams come true. (DOORBELL RINGS) Um, they're here! What do we do? Um, um, oh, my God. Matt, I'm just gonna put this away, OK? So there's room to dance. Put some music on. Dad, you promised you were gonna stay upstairs. Go! Hi, guys. The party's downstairs. Fabuloso. # Watch out # You might get what you're after # Cool babies # Strange but not a stranger # I am an ordinary guy # Burning down the house # What is this? I'm not sure. It's Matt's. # Hold tight # Wait till the party's over # Hold tight # We're in for -# Sorry, beefhead, majority rules. Narrow, man? Narrow hopeless people. Freak. Robot. I'm gonna go next door and get my Casio. Do whatever you want, Matt. It's not like I need a play-by-play. (LAUGHS) Loser. I've an idea, girls. Let's play seven minutes in heaven and you can go first cos you're the birthday girl. How does that one go, again? Well, you go in the closet and some lucky guy's gonna go in there and do whatever he wants with you for seven whole minutes. and guess who wants to go first? Who? Chris Grandy. No way. Way. Um, before I forget, where's our project proposal? On the table. Thanks. Remember, no peeking. Keep that blindfold on and just so you know, Chris loves going for second base. # Swaying round as the music starts # Strangers making the most of the dark # Let's go. I got my brother to buy us some beer. Leave it, George. Come on. What's going on? Ssshh. Er, Jenna's waiting for you in the closet. # Still a world away # What I'm dying to say # Is that I'm crazy for you # Touch me once and you'll know it's true # I never wanted anyone like this # It's all brand new # I thought you weren't gonna come. Where are you? Oh, Chris. It's not Chris, it's Matt! What are you doing here? Where's Chris? He's gone. Everybody left. What did you do? Nothing! Yes, you did! No, I just went next door to get my Casio. Get out! Wait, Jenna! Let me talk to you! No! Jenna, come out! I hate you! I hate me! I hate everybody! What are you talking about? I want to be 30! Just let me play you this song, OK? It'll make you feel better. I want to be 30. 30 and flirty and thriving. 30 and flirty and thriving. 30 and flirty and thriving. 30 and flirty and thriving. 30 and flirty and thriving. 30 and flirty and thriving. Ow! Mom? Mom? Dad? Aaarrgh! What is happening? What is happening? What is happening? Jenna Rink. Jenna Rink. Jenna Rink, Jenna Rink, Jenna Rink, Jenna Rink. I live here. "Hi, sorry we missed your call." Dad? "Well, we're not that sorry cos we're cruising in the Caribbean." "We'll be back on the 18th so call us then. Have a good day." You went on a cruise without me? This is a dream, this is a really weird dream. (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Hey, sweetbottom! I know you're there and my parents are totally gonna be home any minute! Arrgh! Hey, sweetbottom, where's the conditioner? You're naked! Well, not yet. You can join me if you want! Sweetbottom! (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Can you hear that? Can you hear the music? Jenna! Can you hurry up? We made a commitment! Jenna, can you come over here? I don't care if you have to grab him by his testicles. I want him in New York in 12 hours. He needs to be at the party. Can you get in the car? I don't get in the car with strangers. Please get in. We're gonna be late. I can't. I don't know you. Just get in. I don't get in the car with strangers! You're paranoid. Hey, sweetbottom! Do you want me to come down there and grab you? He has my number. Can you please get in the car? We're gonna be late! Look. He made a commitment. Just go away! Honey, I know I'm your best friend but the slip dress is a little 97. Unless it's retro. Are you really my best friend? You're pregnant. Oh, no! Oh, my God, no! Thank God! You scared me! What did you do last night? That's the thing. Something strange is happening. I slept in an apartment I'd never seen and there was a naked man in my shower and I saw his thingy! Oh, God, not his thingy. Could you please pull over since we're here? Wait. I don't want to - I don't think you're listening. Hang on. Listen to me. I'm 13! Jenna, if you're gonna start lying about your age I'd go to 27. I know it sounds strange but - Like that! Do you hear that? (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Did you hear that? Stop being ridiculous, it's probably Richard. Who's Richard? You drink too much. Richard, your boss. Brown curly hair, British. Hello? "Hey, sweetbottom." You! You! Put on your pants and stop calling me sweetbottom! "Baby -" Get out of my house! Who was that? I don't know his name. I don't know what's happening or what to do. OK, Jenna, just calm down, OK? We have a meeting in ten minutes, OK? Repeat after me. I am Jenna Rink, big time magazine editor. I am? Repeat it. I am Jenna Rink, big time magazine editor. I'm a tough bitch. Say it. I am a tough (bitch). I'm gonna walk into that office, not let anyone know I'm hungover. That's not the point. I'm not hungover! I'm gonna walk into that office and not let anyone know I'm hungover. Because the future of Poise depends on me. Poise? Oh, Jeez. Poise magazine? Thank you. Good morning, Miss Rink, Miss Wyman. Good morning. What's her name? Who cares? Jenna, please don't yell at me cos it's not my fault, they came in late from the printers and need a decision. Just pick one. That one. Love! Knew it. Genius. M&M's on the phone. He wants a decision now. Plain... Peanut.... Plain. There's the dynamic duo. I trust my executive editors are late again because they were promoting us at all the right parties? You got it. Richard, you're my boss. That's right, baby. Who's your daddy? Wayne Rink. Morning. Two words. Summer. St Bart's. Aren't you going elsewhere this summer? Is there anything else you need from me, Miss Rink? You mean like a favour? Er, sure, like a favour. Actually, I need to find this guy. OK, not a problem. I have his number. (BANGS) Colleen, will you leave us, please? Alright. Jenna's a little hungover today. Ooohh, rough. OK, children. I wonder which one Holly housewife is going to go for? The 10th or the 11th secret? Seven months in a row now they scoop us. I mean, it's like they've got Sparkle cams hidden in our walls. Richard, we're installing passwords, building firewalls on all the computers, Jenna fired Charlotte yesterday. Did you? I bet she has friends at Sparkle. She always took notes. She was a secretary. Yeah, whatever. Our party tonight is now huge. We need to make an unequivocal statement that Poise is still hot and happening. We need a new circ analysis done immediately. I also strongly suggest we take apart our FOB, overhaul the BOB, think about new heads, techs and slugs. Jenna, what do you think? Can I go to the bathroom? It's the naked guy. "Jenna, girl, margaritas any time. Love you, Madonna." I'm friends with Madonna! (KNOCK ON DOOR) Here are your messages and your mother called from Barbados. My mom called? I wish you'd told me. Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Rink. I thought you said never to bother you with family calls. I said that? Please don't fire me! No, I won't. It's not your fault. I forgot that I said that. Next time she calls, will you let me know? Yes. Oh, and I have that information that you asked for. Matt? One number that you gave me was his parents. I told them that I worked for Visa and he's in a lot of trouble. You lied to the Flamhaffs? He's in the village, 212 Bank Street, apartment 2B. Which village? Greenwich village. Oh, right. Cool. Wait! Should I cancel your 2.30 meeting? # Been running so long # I nearly lost all track of time # Excuse me! Sir! # I couldn't see the warning signs # I must be losing it # Cos my mind plays tricks on me # It looked so easy # But you know looks sometimes deceive # Head over heels where should I go # Can't stop myself # Out of control # Head over heels No time to think # Looks like the whole world's out of synch # Yeah, yeah I'm home. Hi, this is Jenna and I'm looking for Matt. I don't know if you're the right Matt but if you used to live on Spruce Street and your favourite shirt is the grey velour I need to speak to you. Hello? I got none of that. If you're here from Ming Gardens, ring twice. If not, I really don't want it. You're not Chinese. Matt? Yeah. You're tall. You're different. Yeah. You don't know me? That's so weird cos yesterday you were there. But it wasn't yesterday cos I'm not 13. Jenna. Yes. Jenna Rink. Yes! Matt, it's me! Hey. Come on in. You still take pictures? Yeah, you know, pays the bills. Hey, Jenna, why are you here? Matt, I told you. Something really weird is happening. Yesterday was my 13th birthday and then today I woke up and I'm this and you, you're that! You get it? Are you high? You been smoking pot? Doing Ex? Falling into a K-hole? You doing drugs? No! No! Look. I was sitting in my closet... ..and I skipped everything. It's like a dream. I can't remember my life. You need to help me remember my life. Me? Yes. I can't. Why not? I don't know anything about you. I haven't seen you since high school. What? We're not friends any more, Jenna. Matty, you're my best friend. No. OK. It's cool. It's cool. Is it warm in here? It's.. it's... maybe I should open a window. I think I need some fresh air and a glass of water. Have a seat. I'll get you some - You want a glass of water? You want ice in that? I want a fluffy pillow! Coming up. Sorry. You alright? I think you should go back to your apartment. I'll help you find it. Jenna, our lives went separate ways, we went to different colleges, different careers. But what about Christmas? Didn't you see me then? I think I saw you through a frosted window once six years ago. Six years ago? Yeah. Wasn't I home last Christmas? Jenna, I don't know. Doesn't your crowd do St Bart's for Christmas? I don't know. Is this you? Yeah. This is where I live now. OK, so nice seeing you. Good luck. OK? OK. Bye. Bye. Matt! Who is St Bart? The most depressing years of my life, a high school yearbook. Matt, was I a Six Chick? Yeah, you were pretty much the leader. There's Tom-Tom, I wonder what happened to her? Last I heard you're good friends. I think you work together. Lucy? Oh, my God, yes. She's Lucy Wyman now. She looks so different. Yeah, she's pretty big in the plastic surgery movement. I was a prom queen. Yep. And I went with Chris Grandy! Yep. This is incredible. I can't believe it. I got everything I wanted. Yeah, Jenna, you got it all. Congratulations. (PHONE RINGS) It's your phone. Hello? Hi, we're calling to confirm your limousine pick-up tonight. My lim- Yes, my limousine for 8.30. I will be prepared to take my ride then. Can you tell me where I'm going? "The Palace. 27 Wall Street." Thank you. I'm going to a party in a limo! Great. It looks like you're back to your old self. I should go. You don't want to go to the party? No, I gotta work, thanks. Shoot, I forgot you have a job. It's kinda cool we both have jobs. Totally. Well, if you decide you wanna come, it's gonna be fun. 27 Wall Street. OK, great. Thanks, Jenna. Bye bye. Matt! Yeah? What if this isn't just a dream? What if what I wished for actually happened? Then you got everything you wanted. Might as well enjoy it. Bye, Jenna. Matty. Yeah? Arrivederci. I'll see you. Matt! Yeah? Au revoir. # Yeah # Yeah # Uh-huh # Yeah # Clock strikes upon the hour # And the sun begins to fade # Still enough time to figure out # How to chase my blues away # I need a man to take the chance # On a love that burns hot enough to last # So when the night falls # My lonely heart calls # Oh I wanna dance with somebody # I wanna feel the heat with somebody # Yeah I wanna dance with somebody # With somebody who loves me # I'm Jenna by the way. Yeah, I know. I'm Becky. How old are you, anyway? 13. Me, too. Used to be. Why are you talking to me? Why not? We are neighbours, right? But you usually ignore me. I like your shoes. Thanks. I like your dress. It's cos I got these great boobs to fill it out. I like your bag. Thanks. You should come by sometime. I've got a zillion of them. Really? Yeah, it would be totally cool. Hey Becky? Mmm-hmm? Can I ask you something? Yeah, sure. Can you tell I'm wearing underwear? Cos I totally am. I think that's kind of the point. # Hey # What I like about you # You hold me tight # Tell me I'm the only one. Wanna come over tonight # Tell me all the things I wanna hear # What I like about you # Try it. Thank you. # Whispering in my ear. # Tell me all the things that I wanna hear # It's true that's what I like about you # It's what I like about you # It's what I like about you # Hi, Tom-Tom. God, no-one's called me that since I had my nose job. You had a nose job? Yeah and yours is better. Anything to drink, ladies? Er, an apple martini. Can I have a lemonade, please? Oh, wait. Make it a pina colada. Not virgin. You wanna see my ID? I totally have it. There you two are. Lucy, very nice. Sort of a dangerous mermaid look and you... thigh meets Britney. You looks scrumdiddlyumpcious. I know. I mean, thank you. Everybody Wang Chung tonight, right? Here you go. Thank you. Keeping you up, are we? Come on. It's only 11 o'clock. Stay for a bit. Oh. It's 11 o'clock on a school night and I'm gonna party. It's so cool. It's 11 o'clock and people are leaving. This is a disaster. It is? Speaking of disasters, what is she doing here? Who? Sparkle's editor and chief, Trish Sackett. 12 o'clock and headed here. Hi, girls. Our J-Lo issue is selling like hot cakes. How's yours doing? Oh, my God, are things so bad you had to come to our party to eat free food? Put some crab in your purse. You might want to keep that wit for your magazine, or maybe you could just change the name to something like Poison or Pitiful. Whatever's more pathetic. You know what? You are rude and mean and sloppy and frizzy. I don't like you at all. Fortunately I don't care about being liked. I care about winning. This is delicious. Ladies. Do I smell? Do I have bad breath? Am I malodorous in any way? No. Cos people are running for the exit like someone's let off a stink bomb. I don't smell anything. He means the party's a stinker. A dud, a flop, a zero on a scale of one to ten. Maybe if someone played something other than this, with a melody. Play whatever you want. If those people don't start dancing really really soon... here's to early retirement. Yippee. # It's close to midnight # Something evil's lurking from the dark # Under the moonlight # You see a sight that almost stops your heart # You try to scream # But terror takes the sound before you make it # Matty! Hey. Matty! Come here! Thriller! Matty! Oh, no, no, no. Thriller! Come on! No way! No way. I don't know what I'm doing! # Cos this is thriller # Thriller night # Cos I can thrill you more than any ghoul would dare try # Thriller night # So let me hold you tight # Come on, Matty. Alright, alright. OK. Here we go. # You hear the door slam # And realise there's nowhere left to run # You feel the cold hand # And wonder if you'll ever see the sun # You close your eyes # And hope that this is just imagination # But all the while # You feel the creature creeping up behind # You're out of time # Cos this is thriller # Thriller night # Cos I can thrill you more than any ghoul would dare try # Thriller night # So let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller, chiller # Thriller here tonight # Cos this is thriller # Thriller night # Girl I can thrill you more than any ghoul would dare try # Thriller # Thriller night # So let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller # Jenna, I gotta go. What? I'm sorry. Wait, don't. Matt. I adore you! 1 # Well it's a pretty good day I'm looking forward to tomorrow Wait! Your credit card. # Well have a pretty good day # Yeah, yeah # Well it's a pretty good day # I'm looking forward to tomorrow # Well have a pretty good day # Yeah have a good day # Well it's a pretty good day # I'm looking forward to tomorrow # Well have a pretty good day # Have a good day # Thank you. To being 30. I've decided it's gonna be totally awesome. Of course it is. You're thin, you're hot, you can get any guy you want. Not to mention, biatch, the hottest magazine editor in the world. Second hottest. Tie for first? Deal. And speaking of hot, Mr Hotty behind you is totally scamming on you right now. He is not. He's totally cute. Should I go talk to him? You're not married. Hi. Could I borrow your ketchup? Sure. I actually came over here... cos I think you're really cute. So, do you want to go out sometime? Yeah. Can you drive? We're gonna take off now. Time to go. You wanna go to jail? I meant that guy. The man? Oh, gross. No more daiquiris for you tonight. I can never find a taxi in this neighbourhood. Oh, my God, it's the naked man! Hey, beautiful! He thinks I'm beautiful? Well he should. He's your boyfriend. My boyfriend? Hey, why is that lady asking for my boyfriend's autograph? He may not be the best New York Ranger but he's the Ranger with the best ass. Jenna. Oh, my God, Matt! Hi! Hey. How are you? I'm sorry about the other night. Beaver? Is that you? Hey, Tom-Tom, how are you? You lost all your baby fat. How does the beave stay warm in winter? Good to see you, too. I didn't recognise you. Did you get a nose job? I can't believe you're here. What are you doing here? I'm actually I'm doing some shopping with my... Jenna, this is Wendy, my fiancee. Oh. I'm Jenna. Matt told me all about his blast from the past. It's really sweet of you to stop by. Matty's the sweet one. I don't know what I would have done without him. I'm sure you'll be fine. Are you a photographer, too? I see you talked about me. Wendy's an anchorwoman. Anchor person. I do the weather for WWEN in Chicago. Matt and I were just talking about him joining me in the Windy City. You're moving to Chicago? Yes. We were just discussing - We haven't really - Is that Alex Carlson? Jenna? Sorry, I'm late. Hi. Hey, who are you folks? Hey. Oh, I'm sorry. This is my good friend Matt and this is his friend, Wendy. Fiancee. Right. Nice to meet you. So weird. And this is... You're Alex Carlson. Nice to meet you. You're a great hockey player. Thank you. Want me to sign your shirt or forehead or something? Now I don't do butts. I'm just joshing you, guy. Sorry. I crack a lot of jokes after we win cos I'm in such a good mood. OK, well we should probably get going. Nice to meet you. Nice to see you, folks. Nice to see you, folks. Lucy, you mind if I steal her from you for the rest of the night? No. I had my eye on something better inside. See you later. Have a good night. Excuse me. Lucy! Should I go to his place alone? Yeah. Why not? Go play. You deserve it. Play? Like games and stuff? Yeah. Games. All kinds of games. OK. I couldn't wait to see you tonight. You wanna play a game? Do you have Battleship? I have Battleship. I'll show you my destroyer. I call the red board. Well, I call the blue board. What? OK. I know, I forgot. I owe you one raunchy striptease. # Ice ice baby # Ice ice baby # Now that the party is jumping # With the base kicked in and the vegas are pumpin' # Quick to the point to the point no fakin' # I'm cooking MCs like a pound of bacon # Burning them if you ain't quick and nimble # I go crazy when I hear a cymbal # Who's got the moves on the ice and off the ice? # Ice ice baby # Wait! Wait! I don't want to see that thing again. Put it away! Put it away! God. # Ice ice baby # We could play Monopoly. He didn't have Battleship. He didn't have any games. Boys are stupid. Becky, it's even worse than you think. I mean, how comes the ones you like never like you? You have to fight for what you want. Rule number one: love is a battlefield. Wow. That's deep. Really deep. Good luck with fractions. Have fun at work. To the office, Tom. 1 57 ways to have an orgasm. Touch-her-there underwear. He loves you but he loves your butt. He lies, he cheats... what are you doing wrong? There's no easy way of saying this so I'll just come out with it. The circs are in, our numbers are dismal. We're below 600,000 total circulation. Sparkle is closing in on a million. I've just come off the phone with corporate and they have dropped the R word. Redesign? Redesign Poise. Sparkle covers everything we come up with and we have to redesign? That's bullshit. Either we redesign and bring up our numbers or they pull the plug. Richard, redesign is a death sentence. No, it's not. It's a chance to have some fun. Let Sparkle have all our second-hand, stale, grody ideas. We'll open up the FOB, overhaul the BOB. It's time for us to pull together and prove we have some Poise left. Well, I shall be leaving it to my dynamic duo to come up with something utterly fabulous. We have two weeks, four hours and 30 minutes. I have your urgent messages. Let's hear 'em. Er, well, OK. Emily Pratt called and said, "I can't believe you scooped my story on Vivian Tam, you bitch, that was a new level of sleaze even for you. I hope you die." Oh, that was so mean. Miss Lewis called. She said, "I hope you choke on your own bile, you pretentious, conniving snake." Maybe I should read them myself. OK. (PHONE RINGS) Miss Rink's line. "Put that bitch on the phone now." Please, sir, don't take that tone with me. "Tell her to call Todd." "Sweetbottom, you seem uptight. Let me come over and give you..." (PHONE RINGS) Yes? Alex is on line one, Miss Rink. "Oh, gag me. Can you please tell him I'm busy?" Er, OK, but he wants to know what time would be good for dinner? How about in ten zillion years? Ask him how that works. "OK, I'll ask." (PHONE RINGS) Yeah? "I'm sorry to bother you again but Pete Hansen is here to see you." Who? "Tracy from the art department's husband." Oh, OK, sure. I was just dropping off Tracy's lunch, thought I'd say hello. You brought Tracy her lunch, that's so - What are you doing? What's wrong, pookey? Pookey? Pukey, you're married and to a girl I work with! That didn't stop us from rattling some desk drawers loose last week. Come on, lie down and take a memo. Ow! Hire the best photographer and I don't want Jenna to find out. Roger that. OK. God, what is up with her lately? She seems so... lost. I have no idea. I'm so sick of having her around with this new act she has. You know she sold Charlotte's idea then fired her? We'll go ahead with our presentation and let her fall on her ass. God, yeah. OK, you're not Cajun. Wanna go for a walk? Sure. 1 I still can't believe you're getting married. Two weeks. Is she your soul mate - Wendy? My soul mate? I don't know if I believe in those. That's kinda naive. Do you get goosebumps when you're around her and butterflies? Er, no, I haven't gotten crazy about a girl like that since high school. Matty. What happened to us? I mean, how come we never stayed friends? I don't know, I forget. No, what happened? I don't know, I can pretty much peg it to your 13th birthday party where you were in the closet playing that game, spin the rapist. Seven minutes in heaven and everybody ditched. That's the last I remember. We don't have to get into this. It was a long time ago. It doesn't matter any more. It matters to me. Just tell me. Well, you came out of the closet and I started to sing my birthday song to you and you picked up and threw at me, with impressive force I might add, the dream house that I spent three weeks building for you and then you just stopped being my friend and never spoke to me again after that ever. I'm so sorry. Forget it, it was a long time ago. It doesn't matter. Matt, stop being so nice to me. I don't deserve it. Do you know what kind of person I am now? Do you know who I am right now? I don't have any real friends, I did something bad with a married guy, I don't talk to my mom and dad. I'm not a nice person and the thing is... ..I'm not 13 any more. Jenna! # Slow down you crazy child # You're so ambitious for a juvenile # But then if you're so smart # Tell me why are you still so afraid # Where's the fire what's the hurry about # You'd better cool it off before you burn it out # You got so much to do and only so many hours in a day # Hey # But you know that when the truth is told # You can get what you want or you can just get old # You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through # When will you realise # Vienna waits for you # Slow down you're doing fine # You can't be everything you want to be before your time # Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight # Tonight # Too bad but it's the life you lead # You're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need # So you could see when you're wrong you know you can't always see # When you're right # You're right # You got your passion you got your pride # Don't you know that only fools are satisfied # Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true # When will you realise # Vienna waits for you # Daddy! Jenna! What in the world? Sweetheart! I missed you guys so much. Are you alright? # Slow down you crazy child # And take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while # It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two # When will you realise # Vienna waits for you # And you know that when the truth is told # You can get what you want or you can just get old # You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through # Why don't you realise # Vienna waits for you # Mom. Mmm-hmm? Do you ever wish you could go back? Like, to another time? I wouldn't mind giving back some of these wrinkles. If you were given one do-over, anything in your life, what would it be? Nothing. Really? Really. But did you ever make a big mistake? A huge one that could change your life? What about that? Well, Jenna, I know I made a lot of mistakes but I don't regret them. How come? Because if I hadn't have made them, I wouldn't have learnt how to make things right. I'm sorry I missed last Christmas. Jen's working late. Hey. Hey. I was gonna stop by your office. I tried to call you two times. I didn't get any messages. I was in a hurry. But I did try to reach you. I actually wanted to talk to you about this whole redesign thing. I hope you don't mind but I've been working on something on my own. It's really last minute. I hope you don't mind. No, course not. Cos I'm doing the same thing. Hey, Jenna. Hey. Someone's got a big photo shoot going on. Yeah. What's happening? Did you bring 'em? Yeah, I got a few. What are you doing? I'm hiring you. Actually, Poise is hiring you. Here. Whoa, whoa, whoa. This is just the first half. You get the rest when we finish. You don't need to do me any favours. I'm asking you to do me a favour. I love your work. I hope you'll do this with me. You know, I've seen your magazine. My stuff is not your style. Exactly. 1 Who gets Francis? There we go. OK, let's do it. OK, everybody. Climb up there! Lots of energy. Right. Nice! You're the real deal. Alright! Jenna, this is your class of 2004. Very good. Very good. # Get a load of me get a load of you # Walking down the street and I hardly know you # It's just like we were meant to be # Holding hands with you when we're out at night # Got a girlfriend you say it isn't right # And I've got someone waiting, too # What it is is just a beginning # We're already wet and we're gonna go swimming # Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you # Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you # It's inevitable # Is the fact that we're going to get down to it # So tell me # Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you # Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you # Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you # Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you # Whenever I think about you # Whenever I think about you # Whenever I think about you # Whenever I think about you # They're beautiful. Yeah, they came out OK, huh? I think so, do you? I do, yeah. Yeah, it's getting late, I should get home. It's getting late. You know what I wish I had right now? No, what? Razzles. Razzles? Wow, I haven't had Razzles in... 15 years! Remember, they're both a candy and a gum. That's incredible. I can't believe they had 'em! OK, wait a minute! Mmm, yeah. What are you laughing at? Life, timing, being here with you eating Razzles. I've had a really great time working with you this week. Me, too. Everything. Yeah. Hey, Matty? Mmm-hmm? Tell me something. What colour is my tongue? What? What colour is my tongue? It's red. I dunno. Red. Red red or tongue red? Razzle red. Show me yours. What? Show me your tongue. I'm not showing you my tongue. Come on! I showed you mine! I didn't ask to see yours. I need to see your tongue. Razzle red. You want to know a secret? Yeah. You're the sweetest guy I've ever known. I bet I can still beat you at the jump. Whoever goes the furthest, the other owes a drink. An Orange Julius. You're upping the stakes. Dinner Friday night at 8 o'clock at the 24th Street Diner to celebrate our redesign being chosen. Deal. One. Two. (BOTH) Three! Are you OK? I should have tucked and rolled. I'm getting old. No, you're not cos that means I am. Well... Hey. Yeah? You got arm hair. Never quite got that reaction before. 'It was like it wasn't even me.' 'Like I had just watched us down below kissing.' I just floated home on a cloud. That is so romantic. Look. Oh, my God, goosebumps! They won't go away! Do you love him? Duh! When are you gonna see him again? I don't know actually. I don't know if I can. What? It's complicated. It's a grown-up thing. Well, at least you have someone to dream about. Guys don't exactly want to jump your bones when you're a metal mouth. What is that attitude? We are young. Heartache to heartache we stand. Love is a battlefield. Wow. # We are young # Heartache to heartache we stand # No promises no demands # Love is a battlefield # We are strong # No-one can tell us we're wrong # Searchin' our hearts for so long # These photos are incredible. What do you think? I think that I'm gonna start reading Poise for the first time ever. No, I got a place I rent in Brooklyn. That'll work. Alright, I'll see you then. Bye. Hey, I wasn't expecting to see you. Wendy. I thought you were flying in tomorrow. Were you expecting someone else? No, why? I want to take you to lunch. Hungry? Er, yeah. Wow, what a surprise. OK, where do you - How was your flight? It was good. You can take pictures of vitamin bottles anywhere and I was just thinking we should try and resolve this now instead of being a commuter couple during our first year of marriage. What? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Could you - I missed that. Arlene, do you have any more paper? Jenna! What? My balls, excuse my French, are in an iron vice. Corporate are twisting and squeezing like dominatrixes on steroids and now Lucy is presenting her own redesign. What's going on? What is going on is you'll have more choices. With all due respect to Lucy, I want to know what you're working on. Thank you. I'm not complimenting you but pressuring you. How long until your balls get totally squished? Hopefully never. I'm rather attached to them. Can they hang in till five? Jenna, you're not yourself at the moment. Since when do you keep me out of the loop? I'm freaking out. Jenna? The rest of the prints are ready. Goody. Hang in there. Why does no-one listen to me now? Arlene, aren't you coming? You're invited, are you? OK, bye bye. No, excuse me. Go ahead. Sorry. Go ahead. What am I? Just the editor in chief. Whatever. We got to go to 23rd, please. Between 5th and 6th. You got it, lady. The new and improved Poise will explore the last frontier. It will go heroin chic one better. It will OD. It will kill. Cause of death? Chicness. The new Poise will go further than any fashion magazine ever before. It will be deadly serious. Fashion suicide. So, what do you think? Thank you, sir. How much time do we have? We have two minutes. Hurry. Jeez! Bitch! I know this is different. I mean, from anything we've ever done and I know you might hate it and think I'm completely crazy. But I won't care even if I get fired. I don't mean that disrespectfully, it's just that I've realised something. Who are these women? Does anyone know? I don't recognise any of 'em. I want to see my best friend's big sister and the girls from the soccer team. My next-door neighbour. Real women who are smart and pretty and happy to be who they are. These are the women to look up to. Let's put life back into the magazine and fun and laughter and silliness. I think we all - I think all of us wanna feel something... Who we've forgotten or turned our backs on because maybe we didn't realise how much we were leaving behind. We need to remember what used to be good. If we don't, we won't recognise it even if it hits us between the eyes. I just... Bravo! Brilliant. We will present this to corporate first thing tomorrow. See? So, who's this mystery photographer? Matt Flamhaff. Is he Arthur or Martha? Matt. Matt. No, is he gay? Are you gay? 1 "City listing?" Manhattan. Sparkle magazine on Park Avenue. "Sparkle magazine." Trish Sackett, please. Jen, I'm sorry to barge in on you like this but I have to talk to you. Hey, Beaver. I mean Matt. I'm sorry. Old habits die hard, you know? Fine, is Jen around? Are you here about your photos? No, actually I'm not. I should tell you Jenna's decided to go in a different direction with a more established photographer. She is gonna use the guy who shoots all our official photos, so don't take it personally cos there's a little bias. I'm sorry to be so honest with you cos I think your pictures are really cute. Nice talking to you. Hey, Matt. While I've got you here, do you want to sign a general release? We may use your pictures. Bye. Hi. Jenny, right? Jenna. I was just looking for Matt. I wanted to tell him some great news about his photographs. Everybody loved 'em. Great. I'll tell him when he gets back. He's getting his tux. His tux? I know. Men. Everything's the last minute. I mean, hello? We're getting married tomorrow. It'll be the cutest backyard wedding since I don't know when. Congratulations. Thanks. I'll tell him you stopped by. OK. Bye. We want to feel something again that we've forgotten because we didn't stop to notice how much we were leaving behind. We need to remember what used to be good. Ready? The meeting's cancelled, Jenna. What, until tomorrow? It's over. It's over? Lucy... she took all your designs to Sparkle. Everything. She's their new editor in chief. Your photos were on Sparkle online last night. Today, they're in the outdoor ads everywhere. She can't take Matt's pictures! They belong to us! She can and is. She got him to sign this. Lucy, you stole Matt's pictures. Which one do you want to be? The pot or the kettle? I'd like to be the pot. Maybe the kettle, it doesn't matter, they're both black. What are you talking about? I found this in your office. Does it look familiar? It has your name on it. You went through my things? Gimme a break. How horrible. Can't believe I did. I don't even know what this is. You can wipe out the doe-eyed Bambi watched-her-mother-get-shot look from your face. I talked to Trish Sackett yesterday. It's OK, Jenna. I know all about your little deal. It was a sweet little deal. Editor in chief if you help 'em hit a million copies? So you give 'em tips? Not bad. Wish I would have thought of it. Oh, no. Oh, yes. Now I'm taking your job and you can stay with the magazine you flushed down the toilet. What about Matt? Why did he sign this? What did you say? Let's see. I think I told him you had decided to go in a different direction that you are now. I might have told him something else, too, but I can't remember. George Washington bridge! New Jersey! Jenna. Jenna Rink. Yeah? Chris Grandy. So, what are you doing? Are you married? cos if you're single I'd want your number. We could get together, you know? I'm still living at home. Holy Christ! This is the tune we first tangled tongues to. Huh? What is the deal with this... Ah, Rick Springsteen. It's Springfield, Grandy. I'm out of here! I thought you wanted my number! Ow! # And she's loving him with that body I just know it # And he's holding her in his arms late at night # You know I wish that I had Jessie's girl # Why can't I find a woman like that # I'll take these. Hi. Hey. I don't know what Lucy said to you about me but I want you to know that whoever that was that she was talking about wasn't me. Er, it doesn't matter what Lucy said. I stopped trusting her after she stole my Pop Rocks in third grade. Matt. I am not the awful person that I know that I was. I don't even know that person and I'd like to believe, I have to believe that if you knew that... ..if in your heart you really knew that,... ..you wouldn't be getting ready to marry someone now unless that someone were me. Jenna, I'm not gonna lie to you. Yeah, I have felt things these past few weeks... ..that I didn't know I could feel any more. But I have realised in these past few days... ..you can't just turn back time. Why not? I moved on. You moved on. We've gone down different paths for so long. We made choices. I chose Wendy. That's her family down there. We care about each other, you know? You know what? You don't always get the dream house but you get awfully close. Please don't cry, Jenna. No, I'll be fine. I promise. Matty, can I have it? Please? You're not gonna whip it at me? No. Yeah. Look, I won't have you be late. Just go. Go on, I'm fine. I'm just crying cos I'm happy. I want you to be so so happy. I love you, Matt. You're my best friend. Jenna. I've always loved you. (STRING QUARTET PLAYS) # And you know it's true # I never wanted anyone like this # It's all brand new # You feel it in my kiss # I'm crazy for you # Jenna's waiting for you in the closet. # Trying hard to control my heart # I walk over to where you are # Matty! # Eye to eye we need no words at all # Wow. You really know what you're doing. Come on. Sorry, I forgot my scarf. You know what? You can be the pot and kettle all by yourself from now on. Biatch. Come on, Matt. What did you call me? We're gonna be late. For what? You'll see. # If you read my mind you'll see # I'm crazy for you # Touch me once and you know it's true # I never wanted anyone like this # It's all brand new # You'll feel it in my kiss # You'll feel it in my kiss # Because I'm crazy for you # Touch me once and you'll know it's true # I never wanted anyone like this # It's all brand new # You'll feel it in my kiss # I'm crazy for you # Razzle, Mr Flamhaff? Thank you, Mrs Flamhaff.