IMS Subtitles www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Able 2016 1 1 1 (ANIMAL NOISES) (DOG BARKS) (DOG BARKS) (DOG BARKS) Alright, now. I'm just heading to the fields, Duke. I'll be back. (HENS CLUCK) (HUMS) (SINGS) (COWS MOO) (CONTINUES TO SING) (ENGINE REVS) (COWS MOO) Clear! (ANIMALS CHATTER) Hey, Jerry, how's your mama? (SHEEP GIGGLE) Oh, yeah, it's a beautiful day. Well, time to go to work. Morning, Ben. Thanks, Miles. Let me know if you see Otis. Oh, I'm staying out of that one. OK, meeting's in five minutes. OK, boss. And I want everyone present. Duke, have you seen Otis? Nope, I haven't seen him. Now, where was I? Oh. Oh, yeah. (SNIFFS) (SHEEP BAA) (CHUCKLING) Hmm. The Jersey cows. Oh! Huh? Hey, Benny boy. Hi. Yeah, yo. Hey, you seen Otis around? Yes, I know exactly where Otis is. You boys just steer clear of Otis, alright? Anything you say, Ben. We'll take a rain cheque on the meeting, though. Yeah, rain cheque. Yeah, that, huh? Cheque. Hey. Hey. (COWS LAUGH) Hey, I stepped in something. What's on my hoof? Agh! Etta? (SIGHS) Otis? Oh, Ben, don't worry. I'm sure he's heading for the meeting right now. OK, let go. Let go. I got it. He said, "Let go." He's OK. Alright, boys, here's the dealio. It's a little creation of mine I like to call hill surfing. Watch your hoof. I'll spot you. I'll spot you. Are you sure this is safe, Otis? Peck! Come on, safe? It's completely safe! Since when isn't surfing safe? He's got a point. OK, salt lick. It's go time! I'll try it. I'm down. Shotgun! Piggyback! Never! You are all gonna die. (SNIFFS) Ah. Freddy? Nothing. Wait a second. Photo op. OK, get together! Oh, goody! (LAUGHS) Hey, Pig? What? Where did you get that apple? This apple? Oh, well, it originally was attached to this. Oh. (CREAKING) Um, Otis? What? What? What happened? You know, it's times like this when I really like to say... ..oh, caca! You didn't do that! (ALL SHOUT) # Well, well, well (ALL SHOUT) # Well, back on the farm # Where I was born # The barnyard where I was grown # Down in the country # Out in the sticks # Jumping in the mud # And get my kicks # I'm in the mud and it wasn't me OK, OK! Look, this is bad enough! Please, no one scream, "Tree!" (ALL) Tree! (ALL SHOUT) # Down on the farm when the sun gets hot # Do the best we can # With what we got # When a storm comes # Rain is gonna fall Yahoo! Let's surf! # I'm in the mud and it wasn't me # I'm in the mud # And the mud's in me (ALL SHOUT) Whoa! Hang on now, boys! Yeah! Hang hoof! Otis? Are we supposed to not yell, "Rock"? (ALL SHOUT) (WIND WHISTLES) # Well, well, well # Whoo! (DUCKS QUACK) Whoo! (BOTH CHEER) Whoo! (SHOUTING) # Ooh, you gonna eat your beats in a rut # Things are gonna be # Well, back on the farm # Where I was born # Chicken farm! We can't yell tree or rock but you get to yell, "Chicken farm." (BIRDS SQUAWK) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) Morning, everyone. OK, before we get started, we have a birthday. Everett the dog turned 13 today. (A FEW CLAPS) Boy, those dog years are rough, huh? (NOISE MAKER TOOTS) Also, remember it's... '(SHOUTING)' (ANIMALS GASP) (CLUCKS) Whassup? (CLEARS THROAT) Hey, Pop. I know you're probably looking for an explanation regarding the, um,... ..exploded chicken on me and the sticky black... the oil stuff. (CHUCKLES) And everywhere... (LAUGHS) You are gonna love this! I'll tell you, you the most because you, my friend, are a laugher and... We all know that, right? Just take a seat. I'll... I'll... I'll take a seat. (LAUGHS) Cool. (CLEARS THROAT) Excuse me. Oh, sorry about that. (ANIMAL NOISES) Little tight. (ANIMAL NOISES) As I was saying, remember tonight at the hoedown, it's free cider night. Hey. Hey, Pig, I think there's a dead bee in your nostril. Oh. (BEE BUZZES) That's not dead. OK, the first matter at hand, grey market goods. As if I needed to say it again. The purchase of human articles from the gopher underground is strictly prohibited. "Hello, Moto!" "(DANCE MUSIC RING TONE)" "(MUSIC CONTINUES)" Hey, Otis. Listen, I think your Nikes are in. Yeah, this really isn't the best time. Hang on a second. Frankie, come here. Frankie, come here. No, I'm not gonna hurt ya. Come here. I told you never to do that again, as long as I live! (PHONE) "Now, put it over there! Now!" Sorry about that. The Nikes. What's the make? Yeah. Yeah, I really should go, Mr Jordan Air. (CHUCKLES) Wrong number. (YAWNS) Thank you. Second item. Lest I remind you, this is coyote season. (ANIMALS CHATTER) That's right. These are ruthless, desperate creatures. Rule number one, stay in groups. Rule number two, stay inside the perimeter of the fence at all times. And number three, be careful out there. OK, let's hit it. (MOOS) (ANIMAL NOISES) And leaving quickly. Walking out. Walking out. Step, step, step wider. Otis, why don't you stick around for a minute? He's scary. Bye. OK, Miles, what do you think? I think you're lucky. Most cows only have four hooves but you're gonna have an extra one right up your... OK, that's nice. Dad! Sit. And I'm sitting. OK. First off, I don't even wanna know who was on the other end of that phone. It was gophers, wasn't it? Well, I - No, I don't wanna know. Was it the gophers? Here's - No, don't. I don't wanna know. Why do you do this to me? How do you think that makes me look? So this... This is about you? Where were you this morning, Otis? I was having a little fun. You should try it. It starts with a smile, then slowly builds and... You promised to help me with the brush around the fence. You know it's coyote season. Geez, coyotes. I don't get it. What's the big deal? They're coyotes. Them tiny, us big! What are they gonna do? You have a lot to learn. And you know what, I don't get the fence thing. It can't keep them out. That fence defines our space and as long as I'm still kicking, no animal will be harmed inside that fence. That's what you do. You. OK? If you're trying to groom me to be the big leader, just give it up. It's not me, Pop. I mean, if I were in charge, things would be different. Every animal for himself. That's the way it should be. Otis. A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others. Oh, shoot. You know, I forgot my pen. And your shift tonight? I'll be there. Otis, you're gonna have to grow up one day. You'll never be happy if you spend all your time goofing off. No? Just watch me. (GRUNTS) # Do Your Thing - Basement Jaxx Whoa! Manabunga! # I don't need no news # All I need is a bumping beat # To bump away my blue-ue-ues Freddy, is this great or what? Oh, yeah. I could just eat your head right off! Huh? I mean... (LAUGHS) You know, it's fun up here. (LAUGHS) # Ba, ba, boom and bang, bang, bang # I gotta let it all out # Do my thing # Boom, boom, boom and a bang, bang, bang # Boom bang, boom bang bang # Boom bang, boom bang bang Pip? # Do your thing I'd go with the wood on this one. # Do your thing # Make my body sing # Do your thing # Do your thing # Your thing, my thing, oh, oh, oh, oh (THUMPING) (GRUNTS / LAUGHS) # Yeah '(SAWING)' # Do your thing # Oh, yeah Oh, that's what I'm talking about! Sweet mama! 'Hey, there's animals over there!' (PEOPLE SHOUT) Nice shoes. (TV) "Oh, doctor! What a game we have here today!" (ANIMALS CHATTER) Oh, this is great. # Ba, ba Yeah! (TV) "He got the ball on the 30. He's down on the 20." "It's a touchdown!" "(WHISTLE BLOWS)" (ALL CHEER) Whoo! Whoo! (LAUGHS) Yeah! # Boom bang, boom bang bang # Boom bang, boom bang bang # Ooh, do your thing # Oh, oh, do your thing # Make my body sing # Ooh, do your thing (ANIMALS LAUGH) # Ooh, do your thing # Your thing, my thing, oh, oh, oh, oh (ANIMALS LAUGH) Ho! Ooh! (GRUNTS) Bacon! (CHUCKLES) Hamburger! Chorizo! Filet! What are you doing? I'm naming the kinds of cuts of meat to the animal I'm jumping on. Machaca! Pork chops! Rump roast! You know what? You don't need to be doing this. Oaty-oaty! Oaty-oaty! (CHICKS CHIRP) Hi, Oaty. Hey, Maddy. Looking good over there. Chubba Face, you crazy cow. Say, "I'm smooshy." I am smooshy. (BOTH LAUGH) OK, now you. Say, "Boy, is it windy." Boy, is it windy. (BOTH LAUGH) My turn, my turn. (CHUCKLES) OK, chick. Just run along now. Bye, Oaty. (WHACK!) Ogh! Whoop! (CHUCKLES) Alrighty. (CHUCKLES) Hey, who is she? They just showed up. Farmer took them in. Thank you, Farmer. Yeah, something happened with their herd. They're the only two that made it. Hmm. She needs a friend. Wait, wait, wait! Whoa! Excuse me, but I couldn't help notice you over there. (GASPS) Whoa! Hey! Oh, look at you. You're all, um... Pregnant? Um, yeah, sure. I mean... Really? Cos it isn't that noticeable, you know. Especially when you stand straight on and you don't look at it. When you turn to the side, it gets a little lumpy. I mean, glowy. It's a glow. (CLEARS THROAT) I'm... I'm Otis. Nu-uh. Back off, Daisy. There's an "L" on that boy's forehead. No, that's just me, the contortion mouse. (CHUCKLES) C! X! N! Q! Oh, man, you're killing me, dude. Hey! Look, I just wanted to welcome you to the barnyard. I'm sure that you and your... Not looking. The key word, not. Work with me. Not looking. This is my friend, Bessy. Yeah, she's a cupcake. (CHUCKLES) It was nice to meet you, Otis. Yeah, too you. Um, you know what? Switch those. Um... Oh, boy. There's nothing for you there, but I kind of like her friend. He's out! (MOOS) Ah. All clear! Sweet! (ANIMALS CHEER) Here we go! # Now, every heifer, every cow # Hold tight to your udders now # Farmer Brown is bedding down # Let's turn this barn into funky town # Chickens on the left, dance with your neighbour # Hogs, don't slobber on the pool table # Try to go easy on the manure # It's a dance floor, not a sewer (ANIMALS CHEER) # Here we go, doe-si-doe # Here we go, doe-si-doe # Put this thing on hot! (ROOSTER CROWS) Agh! # Better hold on tight # When we go hitting the hay # You better hold on tight and pray # You better hold on tight # When we go hitting the hay # Darling, you better run # Cos I won't hold back them horses # Hitting the hay # We'll go hitting the hay # We will rumble and tumble # Night and day # Here we go # Hitting the hay # Hitting the hay # Hitting the hay # Get it, get it # Next time # Next time # Hitting the hay Ha! # Ding, dang, da-dig-a-dig, dang # Here we go again, come grab your friend # Shake him up, shake him down # Try to get a good blend # Here we go, doe-si-doe # Here we go # Ooh! # First you hold on tight # Hold on tight # Then you dance all night # Dance all night # Hit the hay! # Hit the hay # Better hold on tight # When we go hitting the hay # You better hold on tight and pray # You better hold on tight # When we go hitting the hay # Darling, better run # Cos I won't hold back them horses # Hitting the hay # We'll go hitting the hay # We will rumble and tumble # Night and day # We'll go hitting the hay # We'll go hitting the hay # With our backsides shaking # We'll go hitting the hay Wow. This is amazing. (SINGING CONTINUES) (CATTLE MOO) What you looking at? What? You want some of this? Oh, yeah, I didn't think so. Sit right here, honey. Oh, the flowers are beautiful. # We'll go hitting the hay # Huh? See? On time, just like I said. Right. Cramp! That's a cramp! Ooh! Oh, it's cramping! Ogh! Oogh! Ogh! And release. Hello, Son. Dad, I've been thinking and, well, I'm willing to accept your apology. Really? Sure. I mean, it's only right. I mean... Well, OK, um... (SIGHS) I don't mean to let you down, Pop. I'm just out trying to have some fun. It's a beautiful night. I remember when I used to sit out here with your sister. I don't have a sister. Oh, yeah. That was you, wasn't it? (BOTH CHUCKLE) Thank you, alright. So, are we OK? Hmm. We're OK. Great cos I wanted to ask you something. My friends are going to the barn tonight, not that it matters either way to me, but evidently, I'm needed. I'm an integral part of a musical number. Yeah, I tried to tell them no, you know? But they were just so... I told them, "My dad's not gonna cover my shift." "I mean, it's my shift, not his. It isn't his!" You know? "I don't want to be selfish. What's mine is mine, and..." What do you think? (SIGHS) Otis... I never thought I was gonna amount to much. I certainly didn't think I'd be in charge of anything. But that all changed one day. It was the day you showed up. I head out into the meadow and I see this little baby calf all alone, stumbling around. You know, before you became a nightmare. Well, I took you home that night, and I know it doesn't sound possible, but I looked up into the sky and I would have swore I saw the stars dance. At that moment, I knew my place was here, taking care of things. I guess you helped me realize that. I love you, Son. You still wanna go, don't you? Yeah, I really do. Not that your stuff, you know, the stuff you're saying isn't nifty. No-one says nifty. I say nifty. I do, and sometimes even swifty. I'll say that. Very impressive. Go ahead, have fun. I'll cover your shift. Thanks, Pop. You're the best. Otis? Yeah? Be the stronger man. Yeah. Yeah, that's that saying thing, right? A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man can bridge the gap... Got it locked in the vault. Oh! See? I learn. '(HOWLING)' Hmm. (R&B MUSIC) # Mr Boombastic # What you want is a boombastic romantic, fantastic lover # She call me Mr Boombastic # Say me fantastic # Touch me in me back # She says I'm Mr Ro... Ro... Romantic # Call me fantastic # Touch me in me back # She says I'm Mr Ro... # Smooth Who's here? Moo! It's me! Moo! Whassup? Aah! Milk me! Hey, babe. Whoo hoo hoo! My barn. That's right, my barn. My... (CRASH!) Hey! (GIGGLES) You're late. Come on. He's a real winner, that one(!) Stop. I think he's kind of cute. # Lay down in my Jacuzzi # And get some bubble bath # Only sound you will hear # Is the beating of my heart # And we will mmm-mmm # And have some sweet pillow talk # I'm Boombastic # Really fantastic # Mr Boom Boom Boom Boom # Give it up for the one and only, Biggy Cheese! (CHEERING) We're gonna have some fun tonight, y'all. Hey, Buck. Get your hooves off the stage. You ain't in show business. (ANIMALS LAUGH) (LAUGHS / WHINNIES) What? Were you raised in a barn? (ANIMALS LAUGH) (CREAKING) Ogh! (ANIMALS LAUGH) Well, you're a good horse. OK... What you looking at, Turkey? (ANIMALS LAUGH) (TURKEY GOBBLES) (ANIMALS LAUGH) Somebody pass me the cranberry sauce. (ANIMALS LAUGH) Dead turkey walking. (ANIMALS LAUGH) We all gonna die, but we don't know the date. We know your date, Thanksgiving! (ANIMALS LAUGH) (LAUGHS) (ANIMALS CONTINUE TO LAUGH) OK, to kick things off tonight, I got a special treat. Back by popular demand. Ladies, this one's for you. Our own Otis and the Crew! (PIANO MUSIC) # Well, down on the farm # Where they all ask for you # Parties all hours of the night. Humph! What... What is that farmer up to? Hmm. You know what? I'm gonna call someone. Oh, leave him be. I'll call whoever I want, whenever I want. That's what I'll do. Because I know what a rave is, Mr Lump, I'm going to sit and watch TV and be a lump. OK, Mr Lumpy. It's just not right. '(LOUD MUSIC / SINGING)' (SIREN BLARES) (OWL HOOTS) # Oh, yeah # They all ask for you... # (OWL HOOTS) (CHEERING) (OWL HOOTS LOUDLY) '(BANG ON DOOR)' (ANIMALS GASP) I'll check it. It's alright. Calm down. It's just the pizza guy. I'm on it. Watch out. I got it. I got it. Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza. (BANGS ON DOOR) Whoa. Um, thanks. You want change? 'No, keep it.' So, you really ordered a lot of pizzas, huh? 'Well, yes. We're having a big human party.' Just a party. A big one with us celebrating our humanness. Dude, I love parties! Can I - No. Oh, OK. Well, then, I'll see you. Whoa! (MUTTERS) (SCREAMS QUIETLY) 'Ouch! Um,... my arm fell off.' My fake arm, I mean. Wow, I am so sorry about that. Do you need any help? No, I don't like help. Um,... it's just against my religion. I'm a Nohelpian. Whoa. Cool. I'm a Lutheran. What about this? You know what? You keep it. It's dirty now. Really? All right. Dude, I got an arm! Yeah! Righteous! Doodily-doodily, doot-doot! (ENGINE REVS, SIREN BLARES) 1 (GUITAR MUSIC) # Well, I won't back down. # No, I won't back down. # You can stand me up # at the gates of hell # but I won't back down, # gonna stand my ground. (THUNDER RUMBLES) # Won't be turned around. # And I'll keep this world # from dragging me down, # gonna stand my ground. # '(LAUGHING)' (THUNDER RUMBLES) (THUNDER RUMBLES) (DOOR CREAKS) (HEN SQUAWKS) (HENS GASP) Shush. Shh. Shush, shush, shush. Good evening, ladies. Sorry to call on you so late in the evening, but we did have a previous engagement. (LAUGHS EVILLY) Now, we're gonna take six of you. Anyone makes a sound, we don't mind the extra company. Boys, take your pick. You won't be taking any hens tonight. (GROWLS) And you're gonna stop us? Hmm? Is that what's gonna happen? Are you gonna stop us, hen? How are you gonna do that? Huh? (LAUGHS VICIOUSLY) No, he is. (SNARLS) (THUNDER RUMBLES) Ben. How are you, Ben? We would have said hello, had we seen you. Put the hen down, Dag. Sure, Ben. Whatever you say. We're just doing a little courting, that's all. You know how much we like the hens. (LAUGHS EVILLY) You know me, lady-killer. You have us at a bit of a disadvantage here, Ben. There's six of us and only one old, fat you. (COYOTES GROWL) (THUNDER RUMBLES) (GUITAR MUSIC) (COYOTES SNARL / GROWL) (COYOTES WHIMPER) (GUITAR MUSIC CONTINUES) (GROWLS) (COYOTES WHIMPER) Raagh! (SNARLS) # Fightin' and fussin' # Two-steppin' our way up out of here # Don't go messin', don't go messin' # We'll go two-steppin' # Don't go messing around Oh, yeah! (ANIMALS GASP) Ogh! (CAT MEOWS) (HENS CLUCK) (COYOTES WHIMPER) Hagh! (WHIMPERS) (CHOKES / COUGHS) (COUGHS / WHIMPERS) (COYOTES WHIMPER) (HENS CLUCK) (HENS CONTINUE TO CLUCK) (GROANS) (HENS GASP) (GROANS) (HENS GASP) # Do the two-step as the sun goes down # Even town folk from the county seat # What? Otis! Otis! (ANIMALS CHATTER) # Do the two-step, do it all night Ogh! Otis! Otis! (SIGHS) It's Ben. # Don't go messin' around # (PANTS) Oh, no! No. # Father, Son - Peter Gabriel # Father, son # Locked as one # In this empty room # Remember the breakwaters # Down by the waves # I first found my courage # Knowing Daddy could save # I could hold back the tide Yeah. You hang on there, buddy. # With my dad by my side Alright now, Otis. Just lift. Ten and two. Ten and two. Ow! Pow! Pow! Not like that. Now lift, and two. Whoosh! Ow! Ogh. Two! (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) # Got my dad by my side... Come here, fisherman. (BOTH LAUGH) # ...with me. # 1 What do we do now? Who's gonna protect us from the coyotes? Anybody got a pistol? Order! Order, here! Hey, am I bothering you? Let's get this meeting started. Who'll run the meeting? That's what the meeting's about. The meeting's about finding someone to run the meeting? Is that good? We should take a meeting about it. Someone has to do this. We don't have Ben. Therefore, I would like to nominate myself. (ANIMALS LAUGH) Dogs are... Listen to me. Dogs are watchful, they're loyal and very protective. And they lick themselves. I don't want a leader who licks himself. Me, neither. That's nasty. I can't even reach mine. I don't do that. Anymore. One time, I was bored, lonely, and a little snackish. I saw you drink out of a toilet once. Hey! # You drink potty water # You drink potty water! # My bowl was empty, my friend. Come on, we're getting off track here. (CLEARS THROAT) Duke, with all respect, I think there are certain traits that would make you unqualified to be leader. Yeah, such as? (BARKS / PANTS) Your point? Hey, come on, I do that for fun. (LAUGHS) Not cos I have to. Go on! (BARKS / PANTS) So, big deal. I fetch balls. One little flaw. (GASPS) Mmm! This doesn't mean anything. Alright, alright, let's take a vote. Come on, let's take a vote here. All those in favour of me being the new leader. (DOG GROWLS) (CAT MEOWS) Those opposed? Can you see my hand? Listen now, listen up. You all know that Ben always intended for Otis to take his place. Alright, Otis is in charge. I second that motion. Sweet! (ANIMALS CHEER) Mmm, mmm, mmm. Here we go. Ha, ha. Try and catch me. (CHICKS LAUGH) Stay in line. (LAUGHS) Maddy, we don't want to lose you. (WHISPERS) Oh, I think that would be just fine. Oaty-oaty! Hey, Oaty! (GIGGLES) Hey, Maddy, now really isn't a good... (GIGGLES) What are you doing? (LAUGHS) Would you stop? Come on. (CHICKS CHIRP) Hey, hey, hey, guys, guys! Oh, goodness gracious. What is it? (LAUGHS) Huh? (ANIMAL NOISES) (CAT MEOWS) (DOGS BARK) Hey! Hey! (HEN CLUCKS) (LAUGHS) Otis, it's a madhouse! Isn't it just great? Ogh! (LAUGHS) You got hit with a soccer ball. (ANIMALS SHOUT) (INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) (SINGS) Wagh! Ugh! (THUD!) I thought I'd be the first to congratulate you, Otis. You're in charge now. I'm what? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Miles, I am not in charge, OK? I don't do... in charge. This is not my responsibility. I hear you. But you were elected fair and square. Congratulations, boss. Hey! (GRUNTS / WHIMPERS) Have you all lost your mind? It's daylight. The farmer's gonna be back. This is so off limits! (LAUGHS) Come on, Otis. Wagh! Ugh! (LAUGHS) I know your weak spot. Wild Mike! What? Wild Mike. (ALL) Wild Mike. Wild Mike. I'm not doing this, OK? There's no way this is happening. Everybody, just get back to your... Return to your designated quadrants. Wild Mike. Wild Mike. Wild Mike! Wild Mike! This is ridiculous! I'm not gonna dance just because you're getting Wild Mike. Wild Mike! Pip, help me out here. You can't fight it, Otis. You're a born party animal. Wild Mike! Wild Mike! Wild Mike! Wild Mike! Wild Mike! Wild Mike! (BOX RATTLES) Wild Mike! Wild Mike! Wild Mike! (BABBLES) Wild Mike! Let's boogie! # Yu-huh # Yeah, yu-huh # Yeah, uh-uh (LAUGHS) # We're heading for the west # Not heading for the east # We're gonna live our dream # Cos we're wild and free Look at that freaky thing. What kind of animal is that? I don't know, but he sure can dance. Wha-ha-hoo! (DANCE MUSIC) (ANIMALS CHEER) I say, let's kill it. Give me that piece of wood over there. # Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey (FAST MUSIC) Sweet legs! Get the sweet legs! I got the sweet legs! Whoo! (ALL) Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! (ALL CHEER) Whoo! (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) (MUSIC STOPS) Whoo hoo! Whoo hoo! Whoo hoo. Whoo... hoo. Um, moo? What did you do that for? What else was I gonna do? He saw you. You could have killed him! I got a pulse. Whee! Oh, this is bad. This is bad. This is so bad. (SHEEP) Baaad. Everybody, just calm down! Just calm down, alright? What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do? What? Come on. You're our leader. Lead us. That does not apply to this. This is a totally, situationally different suspect. Hey, whoa, no. Oh, we gotta ditch the body. Stop it! He knows too much. We gotta take care of him. We gotta whack him. There will be no whacking, OK? The Farmer's a good guy. He's been good to us. He's a vegan, God bless him. And, um, what is a vegan again? I know this one. I got it. It means you can't eat anything with a face. Oh. No, no, no, that's a vegetarian. Vegetarians have to eat in the dark, right? That's a vampire. Come on. You can't eat cheese? It's not just cheese. Vegans can't have any dairy products. (GASPS) Cake? Cake has egg products. But you can't have any dairy. What? (BABBLES) No dairy? I love dairy. Does that mean I can't be a vegan? I love the smell of bacon. There, I said it. (ANIMALS GASP) (GASPS) Would you not do that? It's not like we have a lot of options. Boy, that's a doozy. That thing's bigger than me. Push it. He wakes up, you got my back, right? Yeah. (ANIMALS GRUNT) Come on. Come on. OK, watch this. Off his nose, on the belly, on the floor. Check it. (GRUNTS) Hey! Book. OK, now. He was sitting here, he was reading. Something fell on his head and... I got it. (GRUNTS) Nu-uh. Too light. Couldn't cause a bump like that. I bet it could. Would you cut it out? We need something bigger. Can I have the apple? What's with the look? (GROANS) (SIGHS / GROANS) He's buying it. Hmm. He's not buying it. Hmm. (GASPS) He's buying it. (GROANS) Oh, he's not buying it. No, he's buying it. (GASPS) Hmm. Hmm. Will you stop doing that? Well, unless you get him a blindfold, I'm gonna kick him! OK, let's go. (GASPS) Ogh. (MOANS) (MOANS) (HEN CLUCKS) There. See? Good as new. I'll tell you, this being in charge thing isn't so tough. Huh? You know what I'm talking about? You know what I'm talking about. Hmm. Oh my God. Get off! Yeah! 1 Are you sure it's OK if I get a ride? Yeah, yeah. Dad said it's fine. I'm putting on some music. OK. BOTH CHUCKLE, CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS Dad! OK, I'm gonna change it. Sorry, but... Yeah. OK. Ooh yeah. Yeah. Turn it up. DUB MUSIC PLAYS, PHONE PINGS Hey, the others wanna hang out. Um... Hey! BOTH LAUGH ALL: # It's time to cut and run. It's time to... TYRES SCREECH # It's time to cut and run. It's time to cut and run. # Oh my God. Get off! Yeah! It's so obvious. So wasted. TRUCK HORN BLARES, GIRLS SCREAM, LAUGH (LAUGHS) TV BEEPS I'll probably drop Libby home after dance so she doesn't have to walk home in the dark. Thanks, Dad. I'll be home a little bit after 10, not too late. I love you guys. Yeah, all good, love. 1 (HENS CLUCK) (SIGHS) Yeah, hi. Hey, there. Having a good day? Yeah. So, this was Otis's idea? Oh, yeah. We're like the second line of defence. We see or hear anything suspicious, and I just signal Otis with a crow. Oh! Oh! And I've really been working on it. Listen. (CLEARS THROAT) (CROAKY SOUND) (SQUEAKS / GASPS) (CLEARS THROAT) Well, you know, in the moment, it'll be really strong. But for now, we just stand watch. Yeah. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Watch. (JAZZ MUSIC) Come and get it! (TRIANGLE RINGS) Freddy, you OK? Boneless white meat! What? I'm not hungry! I mean, I don't wanna eat anyone... Thing... You... Agh! What happened? What? What? What? (YAWNS) OK, quick little once around the barnyard, then, hello, party! (WHISPERING) Hey, look at this. It's our new inside connection. (LAUGHS) Congrats, Otis. Oh, will you look at that? (KIDS LAUGH) Go on. Don't wake up the cow. (LAUGHS) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. (SNORTS) (COW MOOS) (KIDS LAUGH) That's called cow tipping. Ha, ha, ha! (KIDS LAUGH) Oh, that so steams me! Man, I wish I could get a hold of that little... I would... Hey. I'm in charge, right? Oh, oh, oh! Oh, we are so talking. Are we not talking? Talking the talk and walking the walk. Walkie-talkie, huh? Let's go. Then I said, "That's called cow tipping." (KIDS LAUGH, BIKE BELLS RING) Ogh! I hear music over there again. Do you hear music? That farmer's out of control. We should call someone. We should call someone. (SIGHS) I smell buttermilk. Shut up! Shut up! What's that smell? Stop it! (GRUNTS) (GASPS) Randall, there is a cow outside. (SIGHS) This is a cow farm. You're gonna find cows outside. No, I mean right outside. Right outside this house, looming like a ghost. Like a... Like a reaper. No, cows don't like houses much. They prefer it out in the meadow, where they can get a graze on. Nathan Randall the Third, I am not crazy. I am medicated for a chemical imbalance. Don't you sit there and think that I am crazy. (SIGHS) Your mind's gone, woman. Where'd it go? I don't know. It's gone. (COWS MUTTER) Shh. Oh geez, you're on my foot again. Sorry. This is so sweet. This is so wicked sweet. I love the new you, Otis. OK, Igg, remember how to do this? Oh, he remembers. I remember. Yeah, he remembers. He's remembering. Right now. # Gotta back up and you kick it in gear # If you show up to the dance # I wanna see some dancing # Well, pinch me, I'm dreaming. Here is a first. Otis joining us on a joyride. That's the animal sin of sins, huh? Yeah. Sin of sins. I like that. Hey, old Bud. Bud, you bring the stuff? It's right here. Ah? Show it. Show it. It's right here. Show it. It's right here. Show it. It's right there. Oh. Whoo hoo! We're rebels! We're rebels! We're the wildest! (LAUGHS) Oh, yeah. There they are. (KIDS LAUGH) Oh, too bad we can't go in there. Yeah, huh? Breaks my heart. 'Now remember, honey, I told you, we can't be staying out this late on a school night.' Ah, ah, ogh! "We can't be staying out late." Blahbity, blah, blah. Whatever. I'll do what I want. Do what I want, when I want cos I want to do it. (YELLS) You've come to the wrong place. Bang! (COWS WHISPER) What is that? I'm lactose intolerant. Oh, man. Here we go. I know. One. Yeah. Two. Yeah. (COWS) Moo! Agh! (BABBLES) (GASPS) That's called boy tipping! (COWS LAUGH) (SCREAMS) '(SCREAMING)' Huh? OK, go! (SHOUTS) (GROANS) Push! Push! (SCREAMS) Move! Move! Move! Never go to meadows. Never go to meadows. Never go to meadows. Never go to meadows. Treat cows nicely. OK, no more Red Bull. (COWS CHEER / LAUGH) Whoo! Put crowns on our heads, cos we are the kings! Whoo! # We gotta moo # You gotta moo # You gotta moo # You gotta moo # Yeah! Did you see his face? Price... Less. Price... Less. Pr... Ice... Less. (COWS LAUGH) A toast to a new world order. We are calling the shots now! Yeah, it's all about us now. You've got that right, Otis. Nothing can touch us. (POLICE SIREN BLARES) Oh, man! Oh, man! Oh, man! Man, oh, man! You gotta let me out! (POLICE) "Pull over to the side of the road." Oh, no, they're talking to us now. Pull over! You gotta pull over! We can't pull over! Hang on! What could be worse than this? What we got here is probably some teenagers going out for a joyride in their mom's car. Yeah, we'll shake them up a bit, send them home. You know, kids. Nothing a little strip search won't cure, yeah. (LAUGHS) Is this thing still on? Is that a camera? This is it. Goodbye. They're taping Cops. Mommy! Mooo-mmy! Hey, relax. We can lose them. I mean, it's just a car, right? It's a chopper! It's a chopper! We're gonna die! (TV) "We interrupt with a breaking news story." "Police are in..." Would you look at that? The world is going crazy. These kids get all hopped up on Diet Coke and Jolly Ranchers and just... That's our car! "(TV CHATTER)" That was a hoof. There's a cow in our car! That is a hoof! (SIGHS) Yes, this is Nora Beady. What do you mean, "What now?" My car is on TV and I think there's a cow in it. And I saw a cow outside my window. I think they may be linked. "(DIAL TONE)" Don't think I can't call again, Gary. (SIRENS BLARE) Oh, that's nice. Good. Agh! They're gonna catch us and they're gonna dissect us. (WHIMPERS) We are ditching out! (COWS SHOUT IN SLOW MOTION) (COWS SHOUT) Two all-beef patties, that's our future! (SIRENS BLARE) (ALL SHOUT) Out! Run! Run! Stop touching me! They're making a run for it. Let's go. (RADIO) "This is chopper 219. We've got suspects in sight." I'm chafing! Keep going! OK. Hurry up. They're right over there. Oh, milk me! OK, here we go! Milk me! Geez, these guys are big. 'I see them over there.' Whoa! Cut it right! (COWS SHOUT) We got 'em! Huh? Moo! Blagh! Could you guys believe that? Did you guys see me? Huh? Huh? Me, I am fearless, baby. Oh, yeah, fear... Less. I think I rolled over my foot. Let's go. We left it the same way we found it. (METAL CREAKS) (COWS LAUGH) OK, toodle-oo, Otis. Same time tomorrow night, huh? Hey, guys, can you imagine Ben doing something like that? (LAUGHS) No way. We'd be in trouble. No way. Trou... Ble. (SIGHS) Hmm. '(PARTY MUSIC)' (SIGHS) (CLEARS THROAT) OK, explain to me exactly why are we doing this? Because it's what my dad would do. Why don't you just go have fun, alright? I can do this. No way. We're homeboys. I'm here with you. Really, it's alright. OK, I tried! Later, dude. I'll bring you back a drink or something. Be back. Hey! Whoo hoo hoo! (SIGHS) '(HOWLING)' Huh? Come on back. I'm right here. Mind if I join you? Huh? Oh, no. I mean, sure. I... no mind you... Geez, I can't even talk to you! (CHUCKLES) Hang on a second. Here. You know, just let me... No, I can still sit on my own, I think. (GASPS) Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh, the baby's coming! What?! (LAUGHS) I made you jump. Nice. Nice. Thank you. I about swallowed my cud. (CHUCKLES) It's beautiful, isn't it? My cud? (CHUCKLES) The night. Oh, yeah, that, too. Yeah, it's nice. My dad had a thing about stars. Tell me, what was he like? My pop? He was amazing. Bigger than life, you know? Funny, we're not even related. He found me and he took me in. I never thought about it before, but everything he did was for me. He's the only family I've ever known. The last time we talked, he told me that the night he found me he looked up into the sky and he said that the stars... God, I miss him. (SIGHS) What about you? I mean, if that's too personal, you know. If I'm overstepping like a boundary or... You know what? Too bad. Cough it up. OK. (SIGHS) Well, where do I start? I was married and life was good. Yeah. It seems like forever ago now, but... One day, a bad storm rolled in. Bessy and I were in the meadow and we found a place on high ground. But when we went home,... well, everyone was gone. You know what I think? I think some good things are gonna start happening to you and me. 1 (BUSHES RUSTLE) (COYOTE SNARLS) (COYOTES BARK) (GROWLS) (COYOTES BARK / HOWL) (COYOTES HOWL) (COYOTES SNARL) (COYOTES GROWL) (GASPS) What? Do you wanna be a hero, cow? Ragh! (COYOTE SNARLS) Agh! Ogh! Agh! Ogh! (GRUNTS) Agh! Hey, you're Ben's kid. Otis, right? So they left you in charge? (LAUGHS EVILLY) Oh, that's precious. (LAUGHS EVILLY) You thought you could fill his shoes? Otis, where were you? Were you off having fun? Laughing with your buddies? You could have made a difference had you been there for him, but you weren't, were you? OK, from here on out, this is the way it's gonna work. We show up, you look the other way. (GASPS) A few animals missing here and there. Hey, it's the natural order of things. It'll be our little secret. Now, you go back, make everyone feel all safe, and we'll be seeing you tomorrow night. That's a date. (SNARLS) See you around. (LAUGHS EVILLY) Round. You're fat. (LAUGHS EVILLY) Round. (COYOTES HOWL / SNARL) (COYOTES HOWL) Hey, Pop. I wanted to come by and... Look, you were just a great dad. You see, I... I don't know what I was thinking, but, for a minute, I actually thought... I could take your place. But those coyotes? I mean, you'd have stood up to them and you wouldn't have backed down. I gotta tell you, I was so afraid. You know, I know I always said that I wasn't you and I'm not. But I wish I was. (SIGHS) I can't do it, Pop. I gotta go. I'm sorry. Duke will handle things, and everything will be fine. Wait. What are you talking about? Could you just not say anything? OK? I don't wanna make a big thing about this. Hey, everybody! Otis is leaving the barnyard! (SIGHS) What's going on? I don't believe it. Leaving, leaving? No. Why? Oat, seriously, I mean, you and me, we're like best friends. No, Pip. It's over! I'm leaving, alright? No big whoop. Continue your day. Come on, Otis, we'll do what you say. That's the point. I don't want you to do what I say. I don't want you to listen to me. Don't listen to him! (ANIMALS GASP) Stop doing what I say! OK, so what you're saying is, you'll stay if we don't do what you say. Dead bee. Oh, thanks. Ogh! Again, alive. Duke, you're in charge. Get the dogs together. You guys can handle things better than I could. Sure, Otis. If you say. I've got my own life to lead. I don't belong here anymore. Hi. Hey. What happened, Otis? Oh, please don't say nothing. (SIGHS) Look, it's complicated. If you're hurting, let me help. I'd like to help. You wanna know what happened? I froze. OK? Last night, I didn't run the coyotes off. I couldn't do anything. They're gonna come back tonight and I can't protect anyone. Everyone here, they all trust me and I can't protect a single one of them! Ogh. Otis, the best leader isn't the biggest or the strongest. The best leader is the one who cares the most. Yeah, that's a nice thought, Daisy. That's a really nice thought. I'll tell you one thing. I am really gonna miss Bessy. (LAUGHS) OK. If this is what you have to do, I understand. But I just want you to know one thing. Even if you do leave, I believe in you. (SIGHS) Otis! Otis! (SQUAWKS) (CONTINUES TO SQUAWK) Alright, Peck, take it easy. What's the matter? They took... We got to... Come on! I found him, guys! (ANIMALS CHATTER) Otis, the coyotes. It just happened. They took Etta, Hanna, maybe six, seven others, I don't know. They've never come during the day before. They knew I wouldn't be expecting them until tonight. They played me. What? Nothing. Otis, they took Maddy. Huh? (SIGHS) Those coyotes are strong. What? The coyotes, they're strong. I was just wondering what a stronger man might do. (ANIMALS CHATTER) You'll look after things? Be proud to. I'll be back. # When I'm lonely, # I wanna be walking with you. # I wanna be walking. Hey! # Oh, I wanna be walking. I'm going, too. No, Pip, stay here. You can't do this alone. They could kill you. Yeah, I guess they could. # Rises, I can see the # city lights shining, yeah. # Guitar. # Ah, just a wee bit up. And to the right a little bit. Perfect! Oh, beauty, guys! Mmm. Maybe a touch left and down a bit. 1 (HOWLING) (BARKING) (HENS CLUCK) It's nice that you ladies could join us this evening. Thank you for being so patient. We prefer dining at night. (HOWLS) (COYOTES HOWL) You're a wonderful species. I love chicken. My favourite part is the skin. You're a big meanie. What? You're a meaner. # Meaner, meaner # Meaners gotta eat, too. (SNARLS) Leave her alone. This one's mine. Cook her while I have the little one for an appetizer. You know, because I'm a meaner. (LAUGHS) (GASPS) Agh. Put the chick down, Dag. Otis! Oaty! Awe, we suddenly got a burst of courage, did we? OK. Alright. Well, first, what I'm gonna do is take that chick from you. Then, while you're picking yourself up off the ground, I'm gonna gather up the hens and I'm gonna leave. And exactly how do you propose you're going to do that? (GULPS) Aggghhhh! Ogh! # Well, I know what's right (COYOTES SNARL) # I got just one life (COYOTES WHINE) # In a world that keeps on # Pushing me around # But I'll stand my ground (COYOTES SNARL) # And I won't back down # Hey, baby # There ain't no easy way out # Hey # I will # Stand my ground (COYOTES SNARL) # And I won't back down # (HENS GASP) (COYOTES SNARL) (COYOTES HOWL) That should do. That should do. Well, look at the hero. You thought you could come into my den? (LAUGHS) (HENS GASP) (COYOTES SNARL) (LAUGHS) What's this? A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others. (LAUGHS) This should be fun. (SNIFFS) I smell fear. Shoot! I told you they can smell it! They can smell it? (SNIFFS) Oh, yeah, I have it. I have a lot of it. Just stick near me, guys, and you'll be alright. Yeah, I'll watch your juicy back. I mean, your regular back. Hey! Sorry, man. They're just pellets. I'm nervous. (LAUGHS) That's your army? '(RUMBLING)' Something tells me you may wanna take a couple steps back. '(COUNTRY MUSIC)' '(RUMBLING)' Whoo hoo hoo! Here we come! Here comes trou... Ble! Trou... Ble! Trou... Ble! (ENGINE REVS) # You gotta move # You gotta move # You gotta move # You gotta move (GROWLS) Pip, talk me into it. Flip the lip a little bit. You're mad! You're a pig! You're mad! Let's do this! (BOTH SHOUT) (BOTH CONTINUE TO SHOUT) Ogh! Agh! Ugh! Ogh! Oogh! Oogh! Ha! Egh! Yoo hoo. (SNARLS) You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go right in your ear! (LAUGHS) (SHRIEKS) There's a mouse in my ear! There's a mouse in my ear! # You gotta move Oh, yeah. Step on it, baby! (COWS LAUGH) Alright, come on. Give me your best shot. Oh, sorry. Here. You know what? Let me give you a hand. Yeah, give him the puncher! Smack him! # You may be weak "(PHONE DIALS)" # You may be high-strung # But when the good Lord # Get ready (COYOTES SNARL) # You gotta move # You gotta move Hiya! # You see that woman Hiya! (GOPHERS SHOUT) # Who walks the street (GOPHER SHOUTS) # You see that cop man # Who walks his beat (COYOTES SNARL) # But when the Lord Well, well, whatever will I do? # You gotta move # (COYOTE WHINES / TEETH CHATTER) Oh, don't worry. I got something special for you. (BOX RATTLES) (PEPPY MUSIC) Yeah! Whoo! Whoo hoo hoo! Whoo! Whoo, whoo! Whagh! Waha! (LAUGHS) I just love that little guy. Come on, hurry. (HENS SCREAM) (COYOTE SNARLS) No! No! Hi! (SMACKS) It tastes like chicken! Chicken! Chick, chick, chickity-chick, chicken! Come here, you furry, four-legged chickens! (BABBLES) Whoa! Take it easy, man. (LAUGHS) Come on, what you got going? There's nothing there. Otis! Hey, Otis, look out! Behind you! Watch out! Watch out! (SQUAWKS) Otis! Watch out! (COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOS) (SNARLS) (WHIMPERS) Remember me? I'm Ben's kid. Ugh! Hagh! (GROWLS) (WHIMPERS) Never come back! (WHIMPERS) Agh! Pip? I'd have to go with the iron, man. (HOWLS) Oh! (ALL CHEER) (OWL HOOTS) Then I said I was gonna hit him with a stick. We know. We know. Quite a night, huh? We took down the coyotes, Peck learned to crow, and by the time we get back, we'll have a new member of the barnyard running around. Huh? Daisy. She like went into labour after you left. (HENS CHEER) Daisy's... She's having her baby, dude. What'd you think was gonna happen? She'd just keep getting bigger? Is she alright? We've gotta get back. Yeah. Doubtful we'll make it back in time walking. I'm sure she's gonna be alright, Otis. Miles, I've got to be there. Hmm. (COUNTRY MUSIC) Please remember, mister, that I am a lady. When you are with me, your eyes are on me, not her. (HORNS HONK) We can call and tell them where to pick 'em up. (ROCK MUSIC) # Whoa, whoa, whoa # Slow ride # Take it easy Yeah! # Slow ride Blah! Car! (TYRES SCREECH) Whoo! Yo! Righteous! Whoo hoo! Doodily-doodily-doot-doot. Yeah! # Slow down # Go down # Got to get your lovin' # One more time # Hold me # Roll me # Duke, what's happening? Otis, come on. You know, I think... I'm pretty sure... Yeah, it's time. (SIGHS) Whew. Boy. (CHUCKLES) (SIGHS) (TAPS ON LOG) (SINGS A CAPPELLA) Otis, I was so worried. Worried about what? I so had that covered. It's OK. I'm here. And I'm here for you, too. (SIGHS) (BLOWS) Hey! OK, girl, you're doing fine. Now, just breathe. (CONTINUES TO SING A CAPPELLA) (ANIMALS SING A CAPPELLA) Man, that looks like it hurts. Oh, that's very profound, Insight-Man. Well, excuse me for being a pig. How come nothing's happened yet? She's gonna be alright, though, huh? Yeah, like, like... what if it gets stuck or something? What? You mean like stuck halfway, so she'd be a cow and a half? I didn't say cow and a half. Yes, you did. You just did. Hey, Duke, did I say cow and a half? I'm not doing this. No, look. Oh. It's a beautiful little boy. Go ahead. (BABY COOS) He's perfect. What are you gonna name him? I was thinking I kind of like... Ben. (COWS SOB) Oh, I think that's just great. Hey, there, little Ben. (BABY COOS) Hey, there, little buddy. Huh? Look at you. (LAUGHS) Look at my little buddy. (LAUGHS) Oh-ho! Here you go. (BABY COOS) Hey, Otis, we were all talking and we know you may have other plans, we understand that, but we really appreciate what you did around here and, well, we were wondering if, I don't know, if maybe you planned on staying around a little longer? # Freedom is a song # Freedom is a spirit Yeah. # To take another's hand I'll just say this. As long as I'm still kicking, no animal will be harmed inside that fence. (ANIMALS CHEER) High paw! (ANIMALS CONTINUE TO CHEER) Hey, alright. (CONTINUES TO SING A CAPPELLA) # Freedom is a song # Freedom is a song # Freedom is a spirit # For people who are strong # Freedom is a spirit # Freedom is a land # Freedom is the courage # To take another's hand # I, Nora Beady, am a precious object and shall treat myself as such. Uh-huh. Oh. Gosh, I wonder why... I forgot to use conditioner or... (SCREAMS) (BOTH SCREAM) IMS Subtitles www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Able 2016