WHILE THE GIRLS WERE STICK WITH THE MEN, ROSE AND LAURA WERE STUCK IN THE STUDIO, AND TENSION OVERFLOWED. IT HURTS ME WHEN YOU MAKE FUN OF ME! PAULINE MADE A STAND AGAINST THE MEN BEFORE KNEELING FOR GARY. BE MY SECOND HUSBAND. I WILL. WHAT THE FUCK? LAUGHTER OH MY GOD, IT'S SO NICE HAVING YOU GUYS OVER. ME AND MARK WERE JUST SAYING THE OTHER DAY, WHY DO WE NEVER HAVE JESS JORDAN OVER ANY MORE? OH, SARAH, IN THE CAR ON THE WAY HERE, I TURNED TO JORDAN, AND I SAID, 'WHY DON'T WE SEE THESE GUYS MORE?' RIGHT, JORDAN? (LAUGHS) SHE'S RIGHT. WHY DO WE NEVER SEE YOU BRO? I HAVE NO IDEA. WHY DO WE NEVER DO THIS? OH, SARAH, THIS ROAST ` PERFECTION. (LAUGHS) OH... OH, AND MARK, GREAT WINE MATCH. YOU GUYS, WHY DO WE NEVER DO THIS? WHY DO WE NEVER DO THIS? OK, UH, LEFT HAND BLUE! ALL GRUNT, EXCLAIM SCREAMING, LAUGHTER WHY DO WE NEVER DO THIS? CAN'T BELIEVE WE WATCHED FIVE SEASONS OF 'THE WIRE' IN ONE NIGHT. WHO ARE WE? OOH, LET'S WATCH 'BREAKING BAD' NEXT! ALL: YEAH! WHY DO WE NEVER DO THIS? WOW, JESS, YOU'VE REALLY CAPTURED HIM THERE. WHY DO WE NEVER DO THIS? GUN BUZZES AND THAT'S THE LAST ONE. WHY DO WE NEVER DO` # THIS! # GUYS, WE DID IT. THE FINAL NOTE OF OUR FIST ALBUM ` # WHY DO WE NEVER DO THIS? # # WHY... # ...DO... ..WE.. ...NEVER... ...DO THIS? GREAT TRUST EXERCISE, EVERYONE. WELL, SASS AND I HAVE AN EARLY START TOMORROW, SO MIGHT BE TIME TO HIT THE HAY, EH? OH, ACTUALLY, ME AND JORDAN SHOULD PROBABLY GET GOING NOW TOO, EH, BUT, HEY, SUCH A GREAT NIGHT, GUYS. YEAH. WHY DO WE NEVER DO THIS? WHY DO WE NEVER DO THIS? I DUNNO. (LAUGHS) SEE YA. SEE YA LATER. (CHUCKLES) THEY ARE LOVELY. THEY'RE SO NICE. YEAH. OH MY GOD, THEY ARE SO FUCKING BORING. LET'S NEVER DO THAT AGAIN. TECHNO POP MUSIC # FUNNY GIRLS! CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR. COPYRIGHT ABLE 2016 DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ALL RIGHT, 'FUNNY GIRLS' SEASON TWO WRAP PARTY. CAN I GET A HOLLA? I UNDERSTAND IF YOU DON'T WANNA HOLLA. WE'RE ON A BUS. UM, HERE'S PITBULL FEATURING SEAN PAUL. PA SQUEALS CAN'T BELIEVE PAULINE HIRED US THE WORST EVER WRAP PARTY LOCATION AND DOESN'T EVEN COME. HEY, SHE'S ENGAGED NOW! WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? SHE'S NOT GONNA BE A GOOD FRIEND OR A NICE WORKMATE OR A TOLERABLE PERSON. BUT EVERYONE SEEMS TO BE HAVING FUN WITHOUT HER. HONESTLY, ESPECIALLY KIM AND HER... PAROLE OFFICER. I DON'T KNOW WHY HE'S HERE. YOU LOOK AMAZING, BY THE WAY. I HAVE TO JUST SAY THAT RIGHT NOW. AW, THANKS. HEY, YOU LOOK GREAT TOO, CONSIDERING YOU DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS THE WRAP PARTY TODAY. I KNEW. I'VE ACTUALLY BEEN SAVING THIS DRESS FOR A SPECIAL OCCASION. IT'S THE FIRST BIG NIGHT SINCE I BROKE UP WITH THAT 13-YEAR-OLD. MM-HM. I AM OUT TOO... ...YEAH! GET IT, GIRL! I'M TALKING AGE OF CONSENT. YEAH! HOPEFULLY GIVEN. (LAUGHS) I REALLY NEED TO FUCK SOMEONE. YEAH, I KNOW. HEY, BABY, KEEN TO DANCE, M'LADY? WHOA! THUD! BRAKES SQUEAL UH, WE'RE HERE. YOU'RE LATE. UH, HOW CAN WE BE LATE TO OUR OWN PARTY? NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU. I REALLY THINK SHE'S WARMING TO ME. BELL TOLLS ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS SURPRISE, EVERYBODY I'M GETTING MARRIED! (LAUGHS) WHAT, TODAY? WELL, WHY NOT? I MEAN, WHAT A BETTER WAY TO END SEASON TWO THAN WITH A BIG OLD WEDDING? SCATTERED APPLAUSE PLEASANT MUSIC MUM! DAD! WELL, IF IT ISN'T OUR BIG-CITY LAWYER. LAUGHTER BRODIE! THESE AUTUMN LEAVES SURE ARE FALLING. MELANIE, YOU REMEMBER TUCK. ROMANTIC PIANO MUSIC I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOUR DINNER. I JUST POPPED ROUND TO BRING YOU THIS. I WHITTLED IT MYSELF. IT'S AN ANGEL. SO ARE YOU. (EXHALES DEEPLY) THERE SURE ARE A LOT OF AUTUMN LEAVES THIS YEAR. OH, WE'VE REALLY GOTTA DO SOMETHING ABOUT THESE AUTUMN LEAVES. (LAUGHS) ROMANTIC MUSIC TURNS OMINOUS BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY I DON'T KNOW WHY I CAME BACK... UNTIL NOW. TENSE NOTE ARE YOU SERIOUS? IS THAT` IS THAT AN AUTUMN LEAF INSIDE? TENSE MUSIC DRAMATIC MUSIC (SCREAMS) THEY'RE TRYING TO GET IN! SO MANY LEAVES! (GASPS) OH GOD, THEY'RE UNDER THE DOOR. (GASPS) THUD! THUD! THUD! WHERE'S MOM? NO! (SOBS) NO! IF WE WANNA OUTSMART THE LEAVES, WE NEED TO THINK LIKE THE LEAVES. THEY'VE TAKEN SAN FRANCISCO. OH MY GOD. NO! BRODIE! GUNFIRE (COUGHS) HE'S ONE OF THEM! DOUG! NO! RUN! DRIVE! YEAH! (SCREAMS) STAY STILL, DOUG. GUNSHOT CRACKS HORROR MUSIC WHISPERS: DON'T MAKE A SOUND. MUSIC FADES BOTH SCREAM CREEPY PIANO MUSIC (SCOFFS) I FUCKING HATE THESE INTERNET TROLLS. YOU SEE THAT? YOU GO BACK TO YOUR BRIDGE, BITCH! (CACKLES) PAULINE, WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA MARRY GARY, I DIDN'T THINK YOU MEANT THE FOLLOWING WEEK. AND I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D HAVE THE AUDACITY TO WEAR WHITE TO MY WEDDING. (LAUGHS) BUT` BUT` BUT` LOOK, THE VENUE CAME UP LAST-MINUTE BECAUSE THE FUNERAL GOT CANCELLED ` TURNED OUT THE GUY WAS ALIVE. I THOUGHT, 'THAT'S GOTTA BE A SIGN! LET'S DO THIS. (CHUCKLES)' NOW, THE POWERPOINT WAS GARY'S IDEA. IT'S MADE UP OF ALL THE DIFFERENT PHOTOS WE'VE EVER HAD TOGETHER. AND WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR DRESS? IT'S, UM... VERY VINTAGE LOOKING. YEAH, WELL, IT WAS A LITTLE LAST-MINUTE, SO I JUST ASKED JASMINE TO HUNT THROUGH THE COSTUME RACK. IT'S, A, UH` I THINK IT'S A CORPSE BRIDE. I MANAGED TO FIND THE LATEX WOUNDS, BUT WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO USE TOOTHPASTE FOR THE PUS. NOW, ANGELA HAS DONE ME AN INCREDIBLE TWO-FOR-ONE DEAL. A PROFESSIONAL MAKEUP ARTIST AND LICENCED CELEBRANT ALL FOR 50 BUCKS! I DO IT FOR LOVE. AW. (LAUGHS) NO. NO, NO, NO, NO. NO. SHE WON'T LOOK VERY DEAD. IT'S PROBABLY A GOOD THING ON WEDDING DAY. GOTTA SAY, PAULINE, SOME OF YOUR FAIRY LIGHTS AREN'T WORKING, AND ONE OF THE LAYERS OF YOUR CAKE IS QUITE CLEARLY A LOAF OF BREAD,... (CHUCKLES) ...BUT I THINK YOU'VE NAILED IT. I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU. I THINK I HAVE, ROSE. I FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING'S COME TOGETHER. TODAY, I'M GONNA MARRY THE MAN THAT I LOVE, AND ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IS GONNA STOP ME. DOOR THUDS WHISPERS: OH, FUCK. THERE'S MY EX-HUSBAND. FUCK IT! ROMANTIC MUSIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYS LIGHT CHATTER, LAUGHTER COME HERE. COME HERE. WHAT'S HE DOING HERE? OH, I THOUGHT YOU SAID TO INVITE DAD. NO, I SAID DON'T INVITE YOUR FATHER. WELL, IT WAS 50/50, I GUESS. (GROWLS) HI, SWEETIE. PAULINE. CONGRATULATIONS. OH, I GOT YOU SOMETHING FOR YOUR BIG DAY. OH, YOU DIDN'T NEED TO DO THAT. THAT'S VERY THOUGHTFUL. IT'S JUST... HERE. OH, VERY FUCKING MATURE, PAUL! MATURE? I'M NOT THE ONE MARRYING SOMEONE I MET A WEEK AGO. I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO PROVE TO YOU. YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS. (SCOFFS LOUDLY) I'M NOT JEALOUS. YOU'RE GONNA REGRET THIS, JUST LIKE YOU REGRETTED LETTING ME GO. YOU DIVORCED ME! AND I'LL DO IT AGAIN IF I COULD. NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'VE GOT A WEDDING TO ATTEND. YEAH! IT'S MY WEDDING, YOU BASTARD! GASPS: OH FUCK. OH FUCK. OH GOD, I'VE MADE A MISTAKE. NO, H-HE'S RIGHT. I'M WEARING A FUCKING HALLOWEEN COSTUME! NO, NO, NO, DO NOT WORRY ABOUT HIM. JUST FORGET ABOUT HIM. EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE FINE. WE WILL SORT EVERYTHING. IT'S FINE. IT'S GONNA BE AMAZING. IT'S GONNA BE BEAUTIFUL. AND` AND LAURA CAN S-SWAP DRESSES WITH YOU, YOU KNOW? WHAT? YEAH, YEAH. OK, WE'RE GONNA GET ANOTHER CAN OF DEMON JIZZ, AND WE'RE GONNA GET CHANGED. LET'S GO. OK, LET'S DO THIS. THANK YOU, BETSY. NOW, IF YOU MAY LEAVE, MYSELF AND MISS FAIRFAX HAVE PRIVATE MATTERS TO ATTEND TO. CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS NOW, DEAREST ELIZABETH, NEVER HAVE I EVER LEFT THE HOUSE WITHOUT THE PERMISSION OF MY FATHER OR HUSBAND. (CHUCKLES) I KNEW YOU WOULD HAVE, MY DEAR FRIEND. I JUST KNEW IT. NOW, ALLOW ME TO TAKE THE LEAD. NEVER HAVE I EVER SECRETLY SHOWN MY ANKLE TO A MALE SUITOR ACROSS THE BALLROOM. CLASSICAL MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING (LAUGHS) WELL, I'M RATHER ASHAMED TO SAY I HAVE. BUT MY MOTHER ALWAYS SAID MY MOST ATTRACTIVE FEATURE WERE MY ANKLES. RATHER SHAPELY. NOW, SHALL WE STEP THIS COMPETITION UP TO THE NEXT LEVEL? OH, TO THE PARLOUR? NO, NO, NO, FIGURATIVELY, I MEAN. UH, NEVER HAVE I EVER HAD PRIVATE RELATIONS` NO, NO, NO, IMPATIENT. DEAR FRIEND, NEVER HAVE I EVER HAD PRIVATE RELATIONS WITH THE TOWN BLACKSMITH. BOTH GASP BOTH: SNAP! YOU DIDN'T! I'VE STILL GOT THE STAINS TO PROVE IT. NOW, SHUT UP, SLUT, AND ANSWER ME THIS. NEVER HAVE I EVER KISSED A FELLOW FEMALE... WOMAN. (SIGHS) YOU'RE NOT DRINKING, MY DEAR. EITHER ARE YOU. WHISPERS: I SUPPOSE THERE'S SOME THINGS WE HAVEN'T DONE. I GUESS THERE ARE. TEACUPS CLINK WHISPERS: SHOW ME YOUR ANKLE. BETSY, ARE YOU THERE? UH, I THINK WE NEED SOME MORE TEA. MISS FAIRFAX AND I ARE RATHER... THIRSTY TODAY. UH, PRAY TELL, WERE YOU LISTENING IN ON THAT WHOLE CONVERSATION? OH, NO, NO, M'LADY. BUT` BUT MAY I SAY, I'VE ALSO FUCKED THE BLACKSMITH. BOTH: SNAP! CLASSICAL MUSIC STOPS BIG WANGER. A+. WOULD BANG AGAIN. REALLY GAVE MY TWAT A REAL GOOD LOOKING AT. ANYWAY, BETTER GO GET THE SANDWICHES, EH? THE, UH, GENTLEMAN OVER THERE ORDERED YOU THIS. ROMANTIC STRING MUSIC (CHUCKLES) MM. MMM. ROMANTIC MUSIC SWELLS MM. GENTLE GUITAR MUSIC DEAR MUM, IT'S HARD TO FIND THE WORDS SPECIAL ENOUGH TO THANK YOU FOR ALL THAT YOU'VE DONE FOR ME. THE SACRIFICES YOU'VE MADE, THE EARLY MORNINGS AND THE LATE NIGHTS. I KNOW IT HASN'T ALWAYS BEEN EASY, BUT YOU WERE ALWAYS SO GENTLE, SO LOVING, SO STRONG. KNOCK ON DOOR I ADMIRE YOU. YOU'RE MY HERO, AND... ...I LOVE YOU, MUM AND I WANTED TO COME HERE IN PERSON NOT ONLY TO THANK YOU BUT TO GIVE YOU THESE. OH, OK. MUM, I THOUGHT... YOU'D BE A BIT MORE HAPPY. IT'S JUST THAT, (SIGHS) YOU WROTE ALL THAT STUFF, AND IT'S INCREDIBLE STUFF, AND IT'S ALL VERY TRUE, AND THEN... FLOWERS? UHHH... FLOWERS YOU CAN JUST PICK FROM THE GARDEN? YEAH, BUT I THOUGHT` I JUST FIGURED THAT I BIRTHED YOU FROM OUT OF MY VAGINA. I MEAN, RIGHT OUT OF IT, BUT I GUESS THESE... MAKE UP FOR ALL THE STITCHES. OH, FUCK. YOU THINK THAT'S GROSS? I SHAT MYSELF, AND THAT WAS NOT THE MOST TRAUMATIC PART. SHIT, MUM. YOU KNOW YOUR HEAD IS THE SAME SIZE AS IT WAS WHEN YOU WERE BORN? YOU TORE ME INTO A SEMICIRCLE. THERE'S JUST ONE HOLE DOWN THERE NOW. UGH, MUM. THERE WAS SO MUCH BLOOD, THE DOCTOR PASSED OUT, AND I HAD TO DELIVER YOU ON MY OWN. THAT CAN'T BE TRUE. I SAT THROUGH EVERY ONE OF YOUR STUPID RECITALS. WHAT? NOT TO MENTION THE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS I SPENT ON TOYS AND CLOTHES AND KEEPING A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD AND THE HOURS I SPENT RESTRENGTHENING MY PELVIC FLOOR. T-M-I! T-M-I! SARAH BROUGHT HER MOTHER A KINDLE READER WITH AN INTERNAL BACKLIGHT. YOU CAN READ IT ON THE PLANE! SHIT, YEAH, THEY ARE PRETTY GOOD. I AM THE LAUGHING STOCK OF OUR BOOK CLUB, AND YOU'RE BRINGING ME FLOWERS. FLOWERS! OK, I'LL GET YOU A KINDLE. OH NO. I KNOW WHAT I'M WORTH TO YOU NOW. WELL, CAN I STILL COME IN? YES. COOL. I BROUGHT MY LAUNDRY. (SNIFFS) OOH, WHAT'S FOR DIN-DINS? that our country generates from renewable sources every day. For a small country with a little population, we have some big ideas on how to keep NZ clean and green. For example, deciding to drive more electric vehicles, because they can be fuelled by electricity that our country generates from renewable sources every day. The benefit to us now and to future generations could be enormous. And with hardly any carbon emissions, the impact these electric cars have on the environment, you could say, is tiny. LAUGHTER OH MY GOD, IT'S SO NICE HAVING YOU GUYS OVER. OLD-TIMEY STRING MUSIC THAT'S LOVELY, MAN. I LOVE YOU, BRENDA! # WHEN I LOOK INTO YOUR EYES, # I SEE MY FUTURE REFLECTING BACK ON ME. # MY LOVE WITH YOU IS ENDLESS. # PAULINE, GARY LOVES YOU, # AND GARY LOVES PAULIIIIIIIIIINE. # APPLAUSE THANK YOU FOR SINGING, ROSE, EVEN THOUGH NO ONE ASKED YOU TOO. WHOO! VERY BRAVE OF YOU TO DO AN UNACCOMPANIED ORIGINAL. WE ARE GATHERED HERE TO CELEBRATE THE UNION OF PAULINE SWANK AND GARY BANK. WHISPERS: IS THEIR LAST NAME GONNA BE SWANK BANK? I OBJECT! I OBJECT! WE DON'T ACTUALLY DO THAT ANY MORE. YOU CAN'T GET MARRIED, PAULINE, COS WE'RE STILL MARRIED. I NEVER SIGNED THE DIVORCE PAPERS. YES, YOU DID. YOU DIVORCED ME! DAD, THIS IS A SPEEDING TICKET. WELL, I'M NOT PAYING IT, AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME. YOU'RE BEING AN IDIOT, PAULINE! YOU CAN'T MARRY THIS CLOWN! HEY, WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP, MATE! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT PAULINE AND GREG ARE CLOSE PERSONAL FRIENDS OF MINE, AND I THINK THEY BEAUTIFUL HUMANS AND THEY DESERVE EACH OTHER. AND, ALSO, IT'S NOT COOL FOR YOU TO TELL PAULINE OR ANY WOMAN ANYWHERE, ANYHOW, WHO SHE CAN AND CAN'T MARRY. ALL RIGHT, THAT IS HER CHOICE. YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT IS THE FIRST FEMINIST THING YOU HAVE SAID ALL YEAR. YEAH, AND NOW YOU JUST RUINED IT BY APPLAUDING HIM. FUCKING GOOD ONE. I LOVE YOU, PAULINE! NO, YOU DON'T. YOU'RE JUST MESSED UP ON DEMON JIZZ, PAUL. FUCK YOU! OI, FUCK YOU! ALL SHOUT # SOMETIMES, AS A FAMILY... SHOUTING CONTINUES (WHISTLES) OK, EVERYBODY, LISTEN UP. I AM HERE TODAY TO MARRY THIS BEAUTIFUL MAN, AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, WELL, TOUGH, BECAUSE WE ALREADY DID THE PAPERWORK THIS AFTERNOON, AND THIS IS PURELY FOR SHOW. COME ON, DAD, LET'S GET YOU OUT OF HERE. (GROANS) (BLOWS RASPBERRY) (MOUTHS) GARY, I LOVE YOU. LOVE YOU TOO, PAULINE. I-IN FACT, ME AN THE BOYS, WE THREW TOGETHER A LITTLE FLASH MOB FOR YOU. TAKE IT AWAY ANGE. TAPE DECK CLICKS DAVE DOBBYN AND HERBS' 'SLICE OF HEAVEN' PLAYS # DAH, DAH, DAH, # BOOM, BOOM, DAH, DAH, DAH, DUM. # DAH, DAH, DAH, BOOM, BOOM, DAH, DAH, DAH, # BOOM, BOOM, DAH, DAH, DAH, # BOOM, BOOM, DAH, DAH, DAH, DUM. # HEY, I GOT A LOT OF FAITH IN YOU. # I'LL STICK WITH YOU, KID. THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE. # YEAH, YOU HAVE A LOT OF FUN DON'T YOU. # AND LIVING WITH YOU IS A BALL OF A TIME. # HOWDY ANGEL. # WHERE DID YOU HIDE YOUR WINGS? # HER LOVE SHINES OVER MY HORIZON. WOW. # SHE'S A SLICE OF HEAVEN. # MUSIC STOPS WELL, I CAN'T REALLY TOP THAT, SO I GUESS IT'S TIME TO KISS THE GROOM. (LAUGHS) CROWD 'AWWS' SECURITY! AND I'D PUT THE APOSTROPHE SO IT WAS 'YOUR' NOT 'YOU'RE'. (LAUGHS) (CHUCKLES) YOU ARE TOO MUCH. OH, DID YOU WANT A DRINK? OH, YEAH, I'D LOVE A COKE, THANKS. OOH, DO YOU HAVE DIET? OH. COKE PATTERS THERE. (CHUCKLES) RIGHT, NOW... RIGHT. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO BE EMBARRASSED ABOUT THIS. EVERY GIRL IN YOUR CLASS WILL HAVE TO DO THIS WITH THEIR MOTHER AT SOME STAGE. YOU JUST HAPPEN TO BE A BIT EARLIER THAN THE REST OF THEM. MUM! EVERYONE CAN HEAR. YOU'RE PRACTICALLY SHOUTING. THERE IS NO REASON TO BE EMBARRASSED. THIS IS SUCH AN EXCITING TIME IN A YOUNG WOMAN'S LIFE. COME ON! HI, IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN HELP YOU WITH TODAY? YES, THANK YOU. AS YOU CAN SEE, MY DAUGHTER IS BLOSSOMING INTO A BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMAN, AND WE ARE HERE TODAY BUYING MADAM'S VERY FIRST... OH, IT'S FINE. I TOTALLY GET IT. WE'VE ALL THERE. HOW ABOUT I PICK UP SOME OPTIONS, AND WE CAN SEE HOW THEY FIT? THAT WOULD BE FANTASTIC. DO I HAVE TO... TRY THEM ON? WHIMSICAL MUSIC OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T IT? THE BIG BETTY HAS BEEN ONE OF THIS YEAR'S BESTSELLERS. OH MY GOSH, THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I USED TO WEAR IN THE '70S! VINTAGE IS REALLY IN AT THE MOMENT. OH, I SHOULD HAVE KEPT ALL MY OLD STUFF. WOULD HAVE SAVED US A FORTUNE. MUM, STOP, PLEASE. YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME. GIVE ME A SHOUTOUT IF YOU NEED ANY HELP WITH THE FIT. OH, AND HOW DID YOU GO THERE, MA'AM? OH, I TRIED THEM ALL ON, BUT NONE OF THEM REALLY SCREAMED ME, YOU KNOW? ABSOLUTELY, NO PROBLEM. UH, WHERE SHOULD I LEAVE THESE? UH, JUST LEAVE THEM ON THE RACK, AND I'LL HANG THEM BACK UP LATER. COME OUT AND SHOW ME WHEN YOU'VE GOT IT ON, LOVE. LEAVE ME ALONE! > WOW, THAT LOOKS LIKE A GREAT FIT ON YOU, MA'AM. YEAH, IT'S HARD TO TELL ON THE RACK, BUT I FELL IN LOVE WITH IT AS SOON AS I TRIED IT ON. OK, AND HOW IS SHE GOING IN THERE? SHE'S REFUSING TO SHOW ME. MIGHT JUST HELP IF I POP IN AND CHECK IT OUT. OH, THAT'S A GREAT FIT ON YOU. COME OUT AND HAVE A WALK AROUND THE STORE, LOVE. JUST TO CHECK THAT IT'S COMFY. TRUST ME, IT'S FINE, MUM. BUT I JUST WANNA SEE MY BABY IN HER FIRST TAMPON. CASH REGISTER DINGS RIGHTYOH, THAT'S $12 FOR THIS ONE. WELL, NOW THAT'S THE AWKWARD BIT DONE. SHALL WE GO TREAT OURSELVES AND HAVE OUR ARSEHOLES BLEACHED? THANKS, MUM. THAT'D BE AMAZING. SECURITY! SECURITY! STOP THAT WOMAN! SHE'S SHOPLIFTING! (PLAYS CLASSICAL TUNE) SLURS: HEY, HEY, PLAY 'THE GAY GORDONS'. SLURS: I SAY, GO. I'M SORRY, BUT I DON'T DO REQUESTS. BUT I HAVE THE SHEET MUSIC IN MY BAG. I'M SORRY, LADY LONGBOTTOM, BUT WE CANNOT DO REQUESTS. BUT IT'S MY FRIEND'S BIRTHDAY! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY. (STOPS PLAYING) (BELCHES, GROANS) (GASPS) CROWD CHEERS HEY, GUYS, I JUST WANNA SAY A BIG THANK YOU. THIS YEAR HAS BEEN SOMETHING SPECIAL. OH, THAT'S SO SWEET. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TALKING TO US, THOUGH? GO CONSUMMATE YOUR MARRIAGE. YEAH, SOMEONE BETTER GET LAID IN THAT DRESS TONIGHT. WELL, I ACTUALLY JUST CONSUMMATED THE MARRIAGE IN THE BATHROOM FIVE MINUTES AGO, SO... (LAUGHS) IS THAT WHY YOUR BACK'S SO SWEATY? OH, BOUQUET THROW! ALL GASP ONE, TWO, THREE! THUMP! OK, GUYS, I AM GONNA CALL YOU ABOUT NEXT SEASON, BECAUSE I HAVE GOT BIG PLANS. BIG PLANS! WAIT, HANG ON. IS THERE ANOTHER SEASON? DON'T CALL US DURING YOUR HONEYMOON! BREN, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO THROW FRIED RICE. IT'S ALL I HAD. PA: ALL ABOARD THE PARTY BUS. MEN CHEER WEDDINGS, EH? EMOTIONS RUNNING HIGH. (CHUCKLES) YOU LOOK REALLY BREATH-TAKING, BY THE WAY. I'M SO SORRY. I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE SO SORRY! I'M THE SECURITY GUARD! CAN YOU IMAGINE DOING ANOTHER SEASON OF THIS SHOW? GOD NO, IT WOULD BE A NIGHTMARE! I MEAN, WE ARE BEST FRIENDS NOW, SO MAYBE IT WOULD BE KINDA COOL. YEAH, AND MAYBE IT MIGHT BE THE DEMON JUST TALKING, AND WE HAD A LOT OF UPS AND DOWNS THIS YEAR, BUT I WOULD DO SEASON THREE WITH YOU. I SHOULD QUIT TOY MODEL. WE SHOULD FOCUS ON THIS FULL-TIME! HONESTLY, I COULD QUIT MY GYM MEMBERSHIP, COS I WAS GONNA DO THAT ANYWAY. THIS IS AN AMAZING IDEA. WE SHOULD GO HOME AND GET STARTED. HEY, NO RUNNING ON THE BUS. (SQUEALS) JUST KIDDING. IT'S A PARTY BUS. RUN ALL YOU LIKE. LAUGHTER, CHATTER LAUGHTER CONTINUES # HELLO DARKNESS, MY OLD FRIEND. # I'VE COME TO TALK WITH YOU AGAIN. # BECAUSE A VISION SOFTLY CREEPING # LEFT ITS SEEDS WHILE I WAS SLEEPING. # AND THE VISION THAT WAS PLANTED IN MY BRAIN # STILL REMAINS` # UH, SORRY, THAT WAS PROBABLY THE WRONG, UM, MUSIC CHOICE. I'LL TRY AGAIN. PA SQUEAKS 'SLICE OF HEAVEN' PLAYS, LAUGHTER, CHATTER CAPTIONS BY ALANA DRAYTON. WWW.ABLE.CO.NZ CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR. COPYRIGHT ABLE 2016 LAURA: THANKS SO MUCH, NZ ON AIR, FOR FUNNY GIRLS SEASON TWO. SEE YOU IN SEASON THREE, RIGHT? (LAUGHS) RIGHT?