KAT: I need you to take a trip to Samoa. Key to my house. So if I don't come back, my little slice of paradise is all yours. OK. I'm in business with Imogen. You can't listen to her. If you hadn't done the laundry thing and got arrested, then none of this would've happened. I think we're done here, don't you? MATT: Well, I guess we never really know the people we think we love. OK, I have a small admission to make. (CHUCKLES) I know you used to perv on me in the shower. Oh, oh. (CHUCKLES) (CHUCKLES) I kinda liked it. (CHUCKLES) Well, you look great. You still do. This woman called up, and she thought that I was someone called Leisha. CAROL: Hey, hey. Look who's here. He pays the bills, and I see him a couple of times a week. I'm so glad it's all working out for you (!) KAT: I just think we should take some time to get to know each other. ANDREW: Like dating? JACKSON: What happened to the fiance? We're taking it slowly. 'See, I knew it wouldn't last.' RELAXED MUSIC Another trial got bumped, so we've got a date in two weeks. We're nearly there. That's wonderful. I'm still waiting on materials from the Crown. Anything I can do. I did have something awkward to ask, and that is... well, we haven't really talked about your fee. There isn't one. Thank you. That is so generous of you. Isn't it, love? Yeah. It's amazing. GUARD: Time's up, Rafferty. Well, that's us. OK, then. I'll talk soon. Bye Mum. Bye, love. GENTLE MUSIC Do you maybe want to do something this evening? Oh, I'd love to, but I've` There's this file I need to look at. Well, when you're free. (CLEARS THROAT) Captions by Alex Walker. Edited by Alana Drayton. www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Copyright Able 2016 This is Kitty Purry and I in our leisure suits. Oh, so cute. Nigella. Nigella. What? Miley's got a client. I am actually on a break right now. This is great. I know. We're totally booked out. Well, that's what you get with a little exposure. Oh, here she is ` our very own nit queen. I've been thinking. I want a fair suck of the sav. Some pay. I thought you were happy to help out. Elbow-deep in nits all day? It's not a bloody hobby. It's my secret recipe. Otherwise, this is a rip-off. (SNIGGERS) Have you really not been paying her? Well, she's on a pension, and she offered. Well, she does have a point. I've got staff ` Nigella. Mm, so dedicated (!) Oh, well, you're the boss ` your problem. So... how do I look? Presentable? Are you going on a date? Just meeting a friend. See ya. Bye. Find another set of three distinct prime numbers, a, b and c, such that a x b x c ` 1... Hi. Hi. ...is not prime. > Sorry. This is running overtime. It's all right. Looks exciting. Come on, Nina. BUZZER CHIMES The answer is 2, 5 and 7. Correct! AUDIENCE APPLAUDS Go, you good thing. Now the deciding question. > We are so close to a win. Wonderful. If x is the average of m and 9, > y is the average of 2m and 15 and z is the average of 3m and 18... If they get this, we're into the final of the Isaac Newtons in Wellington. Oh, that sounds impressive. It's like the Tri Nations of maths. BUZZER CHIMES The answer is m + 7. Correct. Congratulations, Number Ninjas. Yes! You frickin' crushed it! Wow. You guys algebraically rock. Now, you know how I feel about high fives. But asymptotic high-fives? ALL WHOOSH ENERGETICALLY (CHUCKLES) We made it. We did it. It's a maths joke, because... Hey, Peter. Oh, congratulations. Well done. Thanks. Look, when you have a moment, could we talk about funding to get the team to Wellington? Budgetary concerns my arse. The first 15 don't have budgetary concerns if they want to go anywhere. Well, men in tight shorts ` what can I say? These kids have worked so hard. And if they win this, it shows they can achieve, that maths is not just for nerds` You think maths is for nerds. CHUCKLES: No, I don't. You're just so passionate about it. (CHUCKLES) I believe in these kids. Well, flights to Wellington aren't all that expensive. These kids are decile nowhere. Nina's mum's on a benefit. Tyler's living with his grandparents. Wow. You really do care. Is that so strange? Hi. Hi. Evening. Hello. Uh, Imogen, this is Leisha and David. Nice to meet you. > Same. > Shall we? So that's her? The one that broke your heart? Yeah, possibly. That's the sugar daddy? Yeah. Hey, are you hungry? We could get some tapas. She is very pretty. How old is she? 23. And what did she do for your mother? < Just stuff. Is she involved with your mother's dodgy dealings? No. It was completely legal. Oh, it's not some dark secret. You can tell me. > She was a sex worker. A prostitute who worked for your mother? < I'm really over people being appalled by this. I'm not. I'm fascinated. GENTLE PIANO MUSIC KEYS JANGLE LIGHTLY MOREPORK HOOTS Hello. Hi. I thought I had myself a prowler. I don't think we should see each other any more. Do you want to come in and talk about it? GENTLE MUSIC CONTINUES Want a beer? I'm feeling really... conflicted. About whether you want a beer? What I did was rash. Well, I kinda liked it. I thought you did too. Yeah, but... it was wrong. What, because of your boyfriend? Break up with him. Tell him you had a better offer. It's not that simple. We were supposed to get married, and... he's my mum's lawyer. Then don't tell him. I'm not` I can't` I just... I just wanted to be normal. (SCOFFS) You don't seem abnormal to me. Well, it's not obvious. I have a really shit track record with relationships. And this other guy is helping with that? Yeah. I thought it would. If you wanna marry him, why don't you do it? Because there's all this stuff I couldn't tell him. I can't tell him. Tell me. I won't judge. The way I see it, you've already made the mistake. And what if it wasn't a mistake, eh, and you were just being honest? BROODING MUSIC I have to go. (SIGHS) I'm here any time. Here we are. Oh wow. Wow! Get out of town! You like it? I love it. I'm not sure about the carpet, though. (CHUCKLES) Hello, you. One of the UV lights blew in the Bat Cave. Thanks. Carol, this is Imogen. Imogen, Carol. Hi. Carol's the boss. Oh. Don't undersell yourself, darling. Have you had much experience? Oh, no. Imogen's a family member. Oh, my bad. (CHUCKLES) I'm flattered, honestly. Do you know, I've walked past this place so many times and never realised? We like to keep it low-key. CELL PHONE RINGS Sorry. Do you mind? No, not at all. Hey, Leisha. ON PHONE: Hey. So, how does it work exactly? TEARFULLY: I'm sorry. It's just... seeing you earlier. Are you all right? David's moved in, and it's got kinda weird. Can I see you sometime? Uh, I don't know if I can. I'm sorry to have bothered you. I'll be in touch, OK? OK. Bye. Everything all right with your... friend? (SIGHS) Leisha. You're better off out of it, sweet cheeks. Not your problem any more. You really are a very wise woman, Carol. (CHUCKLES) Hi. Hey. I made soup. You hungry? Yeah. That'd be great, thanks. It's not my idea of a meal, but beggars can't be choosers. SIGHS: Hey. Hey, my man. Did you get the car off all right? Yeah. Sweet as. Good. Thanks. And, babe, we are... loaded. Oi. You know what you can do with that. Let's not be hasty, Pat. I thought you were on my side. Just picked up a very tasty vehicle here for 2 grand, and... one with potential. Do you want me to do more? Come on. One is just the beginning. Yeah. We totally have a market here. Shall we repair to the pub, then, Patricia? If you're shouting. Uh, look, missy, you know what I think about unions, but if I don't get my due, I'm going on strike. That's grey power right there. Oh, shut up, you. Evening, everyone. Hey. Hi. Did you wanna stay for a drink? Uh... I've got a sitter. She's charging by the second, so... next time. Absolutely. Thank you so much for such a great evening. I had so much fun. Mwah. Ta-ta, everyone. Bye. Bye. She's totally after you, and she's not even bothering to hide it. Matt, promise me you won't go there ` where our father went. No, don't be crazy. She was just being... friendly. And she's related. Matt, you are my brother, and I love you, but you have the worst taste in girlfriends. She's not my girlfriend! Saw Leisha tonight. She's living with David, apparently. He's left Delia? GROANS: Oh God. She doesn't seem happy about it either. She was in tears. What are you gonna do? Nothing. Things are sorted. I've got Oscar, my work. Aren't you just busting to get your cape on and ride to the rescue like you always do? I do not. Um, Emily Coutts? Truck Face and the school ball? Well, better than going for good-looking trouble. I do not. Paul Tokomaru? Josh Coogan and his big black Ducati? You totally have a thing for bad boys and girls. OK. We weren't talking about me. And what about Leisha? She's a little bird with a broken wing. Don't you want to save her? Why do you care about this? Because if you rescue Leisha, then David can go back to Delia. You mean Andrew would be happy? It would be convenient. (SCOFFS) And you'd be safe. From what? Imogen, the cougar cousin. (SCREECHES, MIAOWS) (YOWLS) (LAUGHS) LAUGHS: Stop! No! 1 God, this is just impossible. Maths is a bummer, eh? The salon's doing great and everything, but I still can't afford Nana and Nigella. Oh, that's tough. I'm gonna have to choose. You can't fire family, and Nana Pat's real stroppy. Yeah, but Nigella was, like, my first employee. We've all this history. But she does spend a lot of time on Facebook. (CHUCKLES) Yeah. Those pictures of her cat are really cool. Did you see the one with the hoodies? (GROANS) You're making me feel so bad about having to fire her. Oh, come on. There has to be a nice way you can do it. Uh, soy latte. Cool. Why are you being so nice to me? Well, we don't really get a chance to talk at work, and I just wanted to talk about you. Well, I think it's great that you spend so much time keeping up to date with fashion and hair, but I'm just wondering if you're happy. I'm not very happy at the moment. Why not? Kitty Purry died last night. The singer? No, my cat! She got run over in the driveway by my stupid neighbour. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm real upset about it. She was so cool, and she had so many followers and fans. Yeah, I know. > Thanks for the support, you know? Really means a lot. Hi. Hey. (CHUCKLES) Full disclaimer ` I feel really bad about calling you like that. Don't be. I shouldn't have. It wasn't fair. It's OK. I'm still your friend. How's Oscar? (CHUCKLES) He's good. I get to see him half the time now. He's made some new friends, even some real ones. That's so great. I'm sorry. Hey, what's going on? It's... David moved in, and I said I didn't mind, but... now I feel trapped. You can leave. It's just, you know, I have the money issues, and... he's offered to pay it all off. Well, you're not gonna let him do that. I know. That would be wrong. Do you... love him? No. It's, just, he keeps going on about how I've given him a second chance and how happy he is` Leisha, this is crazy. I know. I'm pathetic. No. You are clever... and strong and beautiful, and you can turn this around if you want to. And I'm here for you... any time you need me. Really? I so appreciate that. GENTLE MUSIC As a friend. Hi, love. Hi. It's lovely to see you again so soon. You didn't have to. No. I wanted to. Is it about the trial? Don't tell me there's another spanner` No, it's... nothing to do with the trial, but it might affect it. I, um... I slept with someone. Not Andrew? < No. Man or a woman? Does it matter? It was a man. And is it serious? > I don't know. Well, you should probably try and work that out. It has been really hard with Andrew, all right? Feeling like we have these secrets between us. And that's my fault, is it? No, but` Honestly, darling, you always do this. You always choose trouble. You never commit. You're so like your father. > I have gone out on a limb for you. I know. If you want to end it with Andrew, I can get a different lawyer. Mum, please. I'm serious, love. > I love Andrew. I do. He's... just... so straight. Is that why you've done this? Get out of jail card? < I don't know. Well, you're gonna have to decide one way or another. MELANCHOLIC MUSIC Hi. Hey. Look, is this important? Uh, yeah. I just wanted to talk to you about some stuff. Yeah, well, I've got a pretrial at 1, and I've gotta go see Mum. Dad's left her, and she's not handling it. He's moved in with the girlfriend, apparently. No, I did hear something. Yeah, and I got a call from a friend of Mum's. She's not answering the door or her phone. OK, let's go. Yeah? Yeah. Sorry. No, it's fine. Mum? Mum? Mum? Shit. Mum. Mum, wake up. Wake up, Mum. Wake up. Wake up. Mum. Oh, thank God. What are you doing here? Janice called. She was worried when you didn't meet her for coffee. Well, I didn't feel like it. Oh. (CHUCKLES) Hello, Kat. Hello, Delia. What have you taken, Mum? A sedative and some gin. > Do we need to take you to the doctor? You thought I was gonna top myself? We were a bit worried. That's all. WEAKLY: I just couldn't face seeing Janice, knowing that everybody knows. People just wanna help. Well, they can't. SOBS: I'm old. I'm over the hill, and it's all just so humiliating. This is not your fault, OK? People do stupid things for their own reasons. It's got nothing to do with you. That's right, Mum. Look, how about you have a shower? I'll make you something to eat. Come on. All right. Oh, I just hate seeing her like this. I can stay with her for a bit. Make sure she doesn't finish the gin. (CHUCKLES) You go do what you have to. Here. I love you. Sorry, there was, uh, something you wanted to talk about? No, no. It's nothing. It'll keep. See ya. ROLLER DOOR CREAKS (EXHALES HEAVILY) So, what do you think? I'm not sure what I'm lookin' at. Well, this place ` somewhere for the cars, get Pat off our back. I don't know. What's the catch? Oh, come on. This is what friends do. They take care of each other. You're taking a cut? Oh, just a small one to cover the rental. But you, you're a genius. (LAUGHS) And... I feel like I owe this family. I'll have to fit it around my own job. Pack it in. Eh? You could be your own boss. Isn't that what everybody wants? I dunno. Say yes. You know you want to. You're very kind. Oh, really, it's nothing. I just keep wondering, you know, how I got myself into this position. What do you mean? I'm 52. I have no job, no prospects. Nothing. I was just sailing along, thinking David and I, we'd grow old together. You're not old. (CHUCKLES) Easy for you to say. Look, I've had my heart broken. I know what it feels like. It does get easier. David won't even speak to me. Probably feels bad for what he's done. CHUCKLES: You think so? Yeah. Guilt, avoidance. (WHISPERS) I'm kind of an expert. BOTH CHUCKLE You know what the worst thing is here? What? > I'd take him back in a heartbeat. I still love him. (LAUGHS) Be easier if I didn't, but` You'll get through this. I know you will. Yep. I do need to pull myself together. < You're a lovely girl, Kat. Oh. Thank you. You're welcome. It's my pleasure. MATT: OK. Heading into some more tricky territory now. This one seems to come up year after year. Let's have a crack. The equilateral triangle PQR has side length one. Hi. So this is where you hang out? (CHUCKLES) Hi. Uh, don't want to interrupt, but I have some fabulous news. Oh. You might not be going to the ball, but you will be going to Wellington. STUDENTS EXCLAIM What? Yeah, I found you a sponsor for both flights and a hostel. Amazing! Who's the sponsor? Me. (CHUCKLES) What, you're paying for this? Yeah, well, it's all for a good cause. We can't accept this. < Can't we? Well, I really believe in what you're doing. And go, you guys! Well, I'm still` I'm` I'm not` You're busy, so why don't you pop over later, and we can talk about it then? Well, I've got Oscar. Great, bring him. Hayley would love that. Well, I guess I can` Perfect. Ciao ciao. See you later. See you. (SIGHS) OK, uh, so just... getting back into that... uh, problem. 1 1 That's you done. Go and pay at the front desk. Thank you. Thank you very much. What's happening about my back pay, hmm? I'm trying to sort something. Well, this is me downing my tools, and I'm on a go-slow. RELAXED MUSIC CELL PHONE VIBRATES Hello? Mum, hey. Bianca. The ungrateful one? Is someone there with you? It's just my cell mate, Aroha. So, how are you? Good. I'm really sorry we haven't talked much lately. I` But I really miss you. Me too. How are things? Hear you've been busy. Yeah. I need some advice about work stuff. Why didn't you ask your business partner? Imogen told me to sort it, but I don't really have experience at this kind of thing. All right, try me. It's just there's someone at work who really isn't pulling their weight. Nigella? How'd you know? I never thought you should have taken her on. But she was so cool and into fashion. Oh, darling. So, anyway, I have to fire her, and I don't wanna hurt her feelings. Darling, Nigella is not your friend. But what if she hates me? If you're in charge, you need to act like it. I'll talk you through it. Zaijian. Bye. See you tomorrow, guys. Why are you making me stay late? I didn't wanna do this in front of other people. Do what? I just think you haven't been putting much effort into your work, and you still don't know how to do foils. Foils are lame. And, I mean, you don't really like the clients that much. Do I have to? I just think maybe you should find a job that would suit you better. What are you talking about? > We both know you're not that into hairdressing. And I'll give you notice and holiday pay. You're firing me? Well` On the same day that I'm grieving? I know. It's really sad about your cat. I thought you were a nice person. Well, I try to be` Under employment law, you can't fire me without three written warnings. What? And you need to give me feedback, a chance to improve my performance. How do you know all this? I looked it up this morning when you were being all weird. Where are you going? Home, of course. Don't worry. I'll be back tomorrow. So, the Hanky Panky. (CHUCKLES) I can't stop thinking about it. It's got so much potential. Well, I'm really just looking after it for Mum. You do undersell yourself. (CHUCKLES) And how are my number nerds? Excited about the trip. (CHUCKLES) That's great. Actually, I have something else for them. (CHUCKLES) Ta-da! LAUGHS: Wow! > (LAUGHS) Thanks. This is too generous. Oh, well, (POSH ACCENT) the private school team looked so smart. And I thought you might like them. Look, I'm a little confused... about why you're doing all this. Oh, well, I want you to like me, obviously. I do like you ` as a friend and relation. Well, we're only distantly related. (CHUCKLES) And I feel when you want something, you should be honest about it. And I know in lots of ways, we are polar opposites. But ` cards on the table ` I think we could be good together. Right. Damn. I oversold it, didn't I? No. I appreciate your honesty. (CHUCKLES) (SCOFFS) CELL PHONE RINGS Oh, sorry. Leisha, how's it going? Something's happened, and I'm not sure what to do about it. Delia's here, and she won't leave. I guess I could come over. Uh, half an hour or so. That'd be great. Thanks. I'll see you then. (SIGHS) Some kind of crisis? Leisha. She's going through a bit of a messy time at the moment. That's very kind of you, rushing round to help her. Thanks for the wine. I better go get Oscar. Uh, he could stay over if he wanted. Uh, thanks, but I'd better drop him home. Thanks again for everything. No problem. INTRIGUING MUSIC Hey. Hi. Thanks. I didn't know what else to do. Hey, Delia. Hello, Matthew. Maybe I could take you home now? No, thank you. I'm just waiting for my husband. I'm really sorry about all this. Yes, it's unfortunate, but I don't really blame you. How's your little boy, Oscar? He's good, actually. I always wished I'd had more children. Hi. What is she doing here? Um` She? She just came over, and I didn't know what else to do. You won't talk to me, so I thought I'd come to you. Let's not make a scene, all right? A scene? Maybe just talk to her. Just stay out of this, teach, all right? < You're a coward and a bully, and I'm owed an explanation. < This is my life. < What about mine? What about the love, the honour, the promises you made? Love?! When did I ever get love? 'Oh, honey, I got a headache. My fibromyalgia's playing up.' Oh, you selfish arsehole! SMASH! Jesus, woman! We're out of here. Come on. < I will yell and scream, and I will smash this place to bits < until you damn well talk to me! < Talk to you?! What's the point?! We haven't talked for years! For a small country with a little population, we have some big ideas on how to keep NZ clean and green. For example, deciding to drive more electric vehicles, because they can be fuelled by electricity that our country generates from renewable sources every day. The benefit to us now and to future generations could be enormous. And with hardly any carbon emissions, the impact these electric cars have on the environment, you could say, is tiny. For as long as you remember, you've brushed all your teeth diligently. Mm-hm. Twice a day, right? Uh-huh. But 80% of your mouth's bacteria aren't even on your teeth. (MUFFLED) 80%? Shocking, isn't it? That's why you need Colgate Total. It fights bacteria on teeth, tongue, cheeks and gums. So 100% of your mouth's surfaces get protected every time you brush. Colgate Total - for whole mouth health. And for an even healthier mouth between brushings, try Colgate Total mouthwash. 1 LEISHA: Oh my God. His poor wife. MATT: Well, it's just a shame Delia didn't have better aim. BOTH LAUGH You're right. I have to leave. You do. Can I say something here? Sure. You're not a kid any more, Leisha. I know. I'm not judging, because I'm 30, and I've only just worked out that you have to look out for yourself. How are things with your studies? (CHUCKLES) Now you really do sound like a teacher. (CHUCKLES) I'm nearly there. Can you do something for me? What? Don't go back to sex work. I know it pays well, but you wanna be an accountant. Yeah. And your debts ` you can sort it. It's just numbers. You make it sound so easy. You can do this. I've missed the boat with you, haven't I? I really do care, but... I can't keep making the same mistakes. Me neither. I just wanted a glass of water. Yes, well, you've had it. Go back to bed. Night, Mum. MELANCHOLIC MUSIC I'll come and tuck you in soon. (SIGHS) Wow. This is cool. I don't know how long I can work two jobs, babe. Well, quit your other one. That's what Trevor said. But I'll feel pretty stink saying goodbye to my boss. Oh. (SIGHS) You don't like your boss. He is pretty mean. Well, that's how bosses have to be, because if you're nice, people just walk all over you. Nigella? How do you know? I saw her Facebook. Saying what? Just stuff about her cats and how she caned her horrible boss. She said that? Babe, don't take it personally. I could so slap her for this. Babe, you don't want to get into a chick fight or anything. No, she doesn't get to do this to me. I dropped Leisha around at Carol's. < KAT: You didn't want her back? I did. (SIGHS) You're right about me having a rescue complex. You're kind. It's a really great quality. (CHUCKLES) You were right about me and... the dark side. Well, you always did like bad boys... and girls. What's going on? Nothing. How's the cougar cuzzie? > DOOR CREAKS She's sponsoring my maths team. Be afraid. Hey, uh, I've gotta... sort some stuff. You're going back to work now? I'll see you later. (KNOCKS) Hello, gorgeous. I really am dropping these off. So this is it, eh? The long goodbye. Short. KEYS JANGLE LIGHTLY So you're off to live happily ever after with Mr Normal? Yep. That's right. Good for you. What, are you angry? What did you expect? I... thought it was casual. Right. Then you don't really know me. OK, well, I'll` I'll see you round? Don't bother. I don't do friends. That's just dishonest. It's either you're in or you're out. Right. Well... I'm out. < So, have you come clean with your boyfriend? About you? < About your mother, trip to Samoa, that sort of thing. Look, Mum's trial is in a couple of weeks, and then all of this will be over. OK, so sweep it under the carpet, eh? That'll take care of things. I don't need a lesson in morals from you. Fine. Have a good life. SOFT, BROODING MUSIC CELL PHONE CLATTERS BROODING MUSIC CONTINUES WHACK! (EXHALES QUICKLY) BROODING MUSIC CONTINUES (TAPS KEYS) BROODING MUSIC INTENSIFIES (TAPS KEYS) Morning, Nigella. Hi. I think we got off on the wrong foot yesterday. You mean the stupid foot that didn't know about workers' rights? Well, we all live and we learn, don't we? You gonna try terminate me again? Nope. I don't wanna fire you. I'm promoting you. This is where you'll be working ` with Nana Pat. > I don't wanna work` Well, I'm your boss, and this is where the work is, so... Righty-oh, get stuck in. Come on. LIGHT-HEARTED MUSIC Mind that step. (SIGHS) Oi. You. Go wait in the car, buddy. Where is she? Who? You know who. Leisha. Is she here? No, she isn't. She isn't answering the phone. Well, then take a bloody hint. I know you think I'm some kind of wanker, but I care for that girl, OK? I don't really have time for counselling. I've gotta get my son to school. You're so smug, aren't you? > What? You wanted her. I got her. Well, not any more. And, uh, actually, by the way, you are a wanker. BUOYANT GUITAR MUSIC You said a bad word. In this case, buddy, it was very accurate. So, it's over? Yep, it is. And I'm sorry I'm such a screw-up. I just want you to be happy, sweetheart. You know I'd support you either way. I was dreading finding a new lawyer. (CHUCKLES QUIETLY) When you get out, things are gonna be different. No more self-sabotage. Pleased to hear it, sweetheart. GENTLE MUSIC Hello? Hello, stranger. Hi. How's your mum? Better. Dad showed up today ` to grovel. No way. He said he was wrong. He had no idea how much she cared. > Wow. Is she taking him back? She's thinking about it. She wants us to go round for dinner sometime ` if you want to. Yeah, I do. Thanks. I feel like these dates we're supposed to be having haven't really amounted to much. Yeah, I know. I've... been busy and distracted. Do you wanna end it? No. I wouldn't hold it against you. I wouldn't drop your mother's case. You are far too good for me. I'm not. SHAKILY: I'm really sorry I'm not normal. But I love you. I really do. DELICATE PIANO MUSIC Is everything all right out here? No. She is a monster. I know she can say awful things, but you don't get to choose who you work with. I know what you're doing here. You're trying to make me leave by making me miserable. It's just called work, Nigella. It's called constructive dismissal, and it's illegal. And you are being a cow. You know what? I don't care. I know dodgy shit was happening here with your mum. What about it? I'll go to the cops unless you pay me three months' wages. I gave you a job and a chance when no one else would, and you've been nothing but lazy and rude. So you know what? If you wanna go to the cops, fine. But don't you try and use my mother against me. I quit. And you are a bitch! CHEERFUL MUSIC (CHUCKLES) And then I got right up in her face, and I was like, 'Don't talk about my mum, bitch.' OK, well, I didn't say bitch, but I got right up in her face. That sounds pretty hard-out. It actually felt good. Right. Have you resigned yet? Um... tomorrow? Good. Yeah. Wouldn't wanna get on your bad side. BOTH CHUCKLE Oh, I can do it. I can be tough enough to run my own business. You know what else? You're gonna tell my boss for me? No. Mm. (CHUCKLES) (GIGGLES) Matt? Need a word. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Matt, we love your work and your dedication, and there's no one more qualified to take over from Mrs Bullock when she retires. Great. But I received this email. I'm afraid it contains some serious allegations against you. What kind of allegations? Oh, it's a bit out there ` running a brothel, in a relationship with a prostitute. < I know it'll all be rubbish, but whoever sent it copied it to the Ministry of Education < and the school board. I see. < It is rubbish, isn't it? UNCOMFORTABLE MUSIC SWELLS DONNA: You resigned? Well I couldn't lie, and I couldn't see another way out of it. But they were gonna promote you. Mum, schools are rather conservative about things like this. It's not illegal. We can fight this. I don't want to, and it'd be a bad look for Oscar. Oh God. This is all my fault. Mum, get off your sword. You don't have to take responsibility. You seem very calm about this. Well, there's no point being angry. I will make it up to you. I promise. Well, don't go firebombing the school or ordering crates of wine for the principal. I wouldn't. (CHUCKLES) I have to go, Mum. Uh, Oscar's at a friend's. All right. Send my love. I love you, Mum. Love you. SOFT INTRIGUING MUSIC Who would do something like this? It's pretty obvious ` someone with a grievance, a chip on their shoulder, that douche canoe, David. Right. The sugar daddy. Not any more. Really? So it's over? What about Leisha? We're just friends. I'm really sorry about this. I know how much you love your job and your kids. Ah, they'll be all right. I told Pete I'd go quietly as long as they got to go to the finals. (CHUCKLES) That's very noble of you. (CHUCKLES) Maybe it's all a message from the universe. In what way? I dunno. I feel free, you know, like anything's possible. Well, that's great. Listen, I'm so sorry for coming on so strong last night. Crazy. No. You were just being honest. It's a good thing. Uh, do you want to go call the kids for dinner? Sure. INTRIGUING MUSIC BUILDS MUSIC INTENSIFIES