(CLOCK TICKS) (PINGS, WHIRS) (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) MAN: Agent Cortez, this is Danger D'Amo. Give me a status update. Visual ID has been made. Subject has entered the location right on time. DANGER D'AMO: Aces. All undercover agents be on the alert. Subject, known as 'Tick Tock', has the stolen OSS mini disk. Alpha and Bravo teams, move in to apprehend the target. MAN: Freeze. He's got time bombs. (HIGH VOICE) Be careful what you wish for. (MECHANICAL WHIRRING) (WHIRRING SLOWS, STOPS) Tick Tock has the stolen OSS mini disk and is on the move. TICK TOCK: Sorry I can't hang around. DANGER: I'm coming with a third team. On-site arrival in four minutes. We don't have four minutes. I'll get him faster with the zip line. (BANG!) (BANG!) If I don't catch him now, who knows how many people he'll freeze! DANGER: You forgot one tiny detail. You're pregnant. Yeah, well, they say you can exercise up until the last day of pregnancy, so here we go. Oh, man. Ow! Hello? What was that? Contraction. Time to hang it up. You're about to become a mom. All the more reason to get the job done now. We can't let Tick Tock escape again. Breathe. (TYRES SQUEAL) (CAR HORN HONKS) Try not to hit that bus. Mute road noise. COMPUTERISED VOICE: Muting noise. Call Wilbur. Calling husband. MAN ON PHONE: Oh, there she is. How's my girl? You just leaving work? Yeah, just tying up a few things. Nine months pregnant and still working around the clock. You've got to be the most dedicated interior decorator that ever lived. What can I say? I love my work. Oh! Here's what I really called about. Guess who decided to pay us an early visit. Is this it? I'm on my way to hospital. Meet me there? Right. Hospital. Don't panic. I am here for you. Ooh. All you have to do is breathe easy and breathe often... (CACKLES) ..and take it nice and slow. I love you so much. Keep breathing. You're gonna be fine. Yep. Gotcha. See you there. (TICK TOCK YELLS) (BANG!) DANGER: Agent, you're ready to pop. Wait for backup. Contractions are only three minutes apart. (BREATHES HEAVILY) I've got time. OK, Tick Tock. (LAUGHS) I look forward to doing this again. Swell work, Agent Cortez. Aces. I knew you had it in you. If this got into the wrong hands, our world would have stopped in its tracks. Looks like an old OSS file. DANGER: Project Armageddon, the ultimate weapon. This baby not only takes out your enemy, it takes out everyone. No-one ever notices time until it's gone. (LAUGHS MANIACALLY) This is our agreement. One last mission and I'm out for good. You're really gonna take a powder on us, leave us high and dry? No more dangling from zip lines or high-speed chases. My family needs me now and they can never know I was a spy. I respect that, agent, but a word of advice. Tell 'em who you are. Life's too short for secrets. Push out a good one, a nice little fire-breather for us, alright? The future of the OSS depends on it. Let's not stand around bumping gums, people. I want to figure out what makes Tick Tock tick. BOY: Thumb battle. GIRL: Go. Hey, kids, I got a new idea for a reality show. It's called 'Wilbur Wilson ` Spy Hunter', where I hunt real spies on TV. What do you think? Uh, it's pretty out there, Dad. Got you. WILBUR: Nice take-down. One point for me. Yeah. I mean, where are you going to find a spy? Hi! Hi! Hey, sweetheart. You look great. You owe me a dollar. Told you we would get here before her. I said, "Take it slow." That was a night shy of eternity, a morning past forever. Stepmother who's always late for everything. Technically, I'm early 'cause the baby wasn't even due until tomorrow. Ease up. What took so long? I just must have lost track of time. (GROANS) Oh, God! Oh, jeez. Guys, guys, guys. From this point on, everything will be different. In a good way, right? Yeah, and you'll have a new baby sister in five, four, three, two... (BABY CRIES) I put my life on the line every time I search for...the spies among us. Look! I'm Wilbur Wilson ` spy hunter. Mondays after your local news. (GIGGLES) Last piece of bacon. BOTH: Mine! (BURBLES) BOTH: Yours. Is the baby throwing food again? (SIGHS) I would say so. Can you watch her, please? I have to go change again. Again. (FARTS) Seriously? Her gas bombs are gonna take the paint right off this house. You watch her. No, you. Breath-holding contest? You're on. (BOTH INHALE DEEPLY) (FARTS) (EXHALES AND GROANS) One point for me. Good morning, little spy hunters. BOTH: Dad! Do you have time to eat breakfast with us? I sure do. Yes! (TICKING) No, I don't. I swear I had an extra five minutes just a few minutes ago. Where did the time go? Told you he wouldn't have time. You owe me a dollar. Hey, do you remember our five-year plan? If my show does well then I'll have all the time in the world to spend with you and you. OK? Meanwhile, time's just slipping away. Morning, honey. Oh, 'bye, honey. WILBUR: I gotta get to work. Oh. Um, OK. Goodbye hug? Oh, yeah. (BABY BURBLES) WILBUR: Uh... 'Bye. Rebecca, behave at school. OK? I know. And, Cecil, feed the dog. He doesn't really eat. He just watches us. Here, Argonaut. It's kind of creepy. (TICKING) MAN: Our worst fear has happened. Time is speeding up. You're not cranking my chain, are you? This is on the up and up? (WOMAN OVER INTERCOM) Goodnight, sir. "Goodnight?" What are you talking about, doll face? You just got back from lunch. But it's 5:00, sir. 5:00? The Armageddon Device? We're running out of time. So he put a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in your face and then he stole your homework? Technically, it was his homework. I was just doing it for him. And what about you, Miss Rebecca? How was your day? Same old, same old. So I heard. (DOOR OPENS, CLOSES) The principal called me about your pranks. WILBUR: Hey, kids. KIDS: Dad! Sit by me! Sorry, kids, but I have to go write up this report before I can do anything. Save me some leftovers. Hey, Dad, can you teach me how to be a spy hunter? WILBUR: Well, there's always time for that. OK, repeat after me. "I'm Cecil Wilson ` spy hunter. "And I'll catch you...later." I'm Cecil Wilson ` spy hunter, and I'll catch you...l-l-l-later. Here's the important part. Lift the eyebrow. Respect the golden arch. (WHISPERS) That's my secret. How many spies have you caught? Um, well, none. But that's not really what the show's about. So you're not a spy-catching superhero? No, not yet. But... How's my girl? She made two poopies today. Two poopies? She's six away from the house record. (SNEEZES) WILBUR: Oh, don't get snotty. (MARISSA LAUGHS) I lost my appetite. I'll go talk to her. What am I doing wrong? I've tried so hard to connect with her but she just hates me. No, she doesn't hate you. She totally hates me. No, she doesn't. Maybe a little. (GROANS) I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I think she's just trying to adjust to a new situation. We've been married for two years. Right. REBECCA: Dad's had less time for us ever since Stepmother entered the picture, and she's keeping something from us. I can feel it. She's not who she says she is. You don't think she's really an interior decorator? Well, look at this place. She's obviously evil. Well, I think she's nice. There's something she's hiding from us. Doesn't mean she deserves your blue cheese dressing bomb. My best prank yet. Not hearing very well increased my other senses. (SNIFFS) Like smell. Don't worry. She never comes into my room anyway. Do you have a sec? Yes. I was going through the basement and I found some things that I thought you might want to have. Mom. I know you miss your mom and I could never replace her. I just would really like it if maybe we could be friends. Mom always said she loved my practical jokes. I love your practical jokes. I think you're hilarious. You think I'm funny? The one you did last month to your father when you filled his toothpaste with blueberry filling and his teeth were blue for, like, four days... That was epic. How about the time I hooked up his nose-hair clipper to a power saw? Some of my best work. Or the baby powder in the hair dryer trick. I had meant that prank for you. I know. I'm sorry. It's OK. It was just a joke. There's something, um... ..I would like you to have. This is something my parents gave me when I was around your age and my mother said it would always protect me, even in my darkest hour, and what I think she meant by that was I would always have her love and support. You're really giving this to me? It's something that's very special to me and my family, and I want you to have it because you're so very special, Rebecca. I'm really looking forward to us being friends. Me too. Goodnight. (DRAMATIC MUSIC) Marissa, wait! (SHRIEKS) Eugh! (MEEKLY) I'm so...sorry. Good going. I tried to warn her. You're gonna make it up to her. Why do I have to be the one to always apologise? What about that time that you just kept on talking and I was... (VOICE FADES) (SILENCE) I turned off my hearing aids. (TURNS ON HEARING AIDS) OK, I'll make it up to her. He's right, you know. I mean, the show is called 'Spy Hunter'. At some point I should actually catch a spy. He thinks I'm a complete loser. That's not what he meant. They just want to spend more time with you. What is that smell? Oh, did the baby spit up on you again? TV ANCHOR: In breaking news... Something like that. ..our worst fears have been confirmed. According to scientists, there are now literally less hours in the day. Studies show that time is running out. MAN: Time is speeding up. At first we were losing nanoseconds, but now we're losing hours. By tomorrow we'll have lost days. By the day after that, a year. At this rate we'll be completely out of time in no time. Experts are divided on what's causing this phenomenon, although one man has claimed credit. We received this video moments ago. (DEEP DISTORTED VOICE) Citizens of the world, I find you all guilty of wasting time. You fill your days with meaningless pursuits instead of treasuring moments with those you love. You will no longer take time for granted, for I am taking all of the time in the world from you. Project Armageddon has been activated, and I will continue to speed up time until time runs out and the world will end. I am the Time Keeper and I want more time. Only minutes ago, OSS director Danger D'Amo addressed the threat. The OSS will find this Time Keeper and when we do we will punch his clock. ANCHOR: There's a decrease of one minute per hour... Tick Tock has escaped. Oh, this is not good. Actually, this is awesome. Could you imagine the promotion I would get if I landed an interview with this guy, the Time Holder? Time Keeper. Not to mention the hero factor for tracking down an international supervillain. Not too shabby. Honey, being a hero isn't really what the kids need from you right now. It's just what they need now. It's what the world needs. (OMINOUS MUSIC) Where is the Chronos Sapphire you promised me? Time waits for no man, no man but me. That one little rock is the only element that can stop the Armageddon Device. Trust me, it will be ours. Time and my temper are short. You waste my time... ..and I'll waste you. We will find the Chronos Sapphire and when we do... ..no-one will be able to stop us. (CHUCKLES) No-one. OK, princess. You're a little sleepyhead, huh? (BEEPING) Oh, no. COMPUTERISED VOICE: OSS directive for your eyes only. Time Keeper threat confirmed. Chronos Sapphire needed to stop Armageddon. Deliver Chronos to OSS immediately. Oh, Rebecca. I hope you're working on that apology. Make sure you write, "PS, Cecil is innocent." A handmade coupon, good for one free month of all household chores. And no pranks for a whole month. "And no pranks for a week." Hey, Rebecca, do you have that necklace from last night? Yeah, why? I was just wondering if maybe I could...maybe I can have it back? You want the necklace back? I realised it needs to be cleaned and, you know, it's old. Oh, I get it. You can't trust me with it. What happened to "This necklace is so special and so are you"? Am I supposed to pretend that you really meant that? I just need the necklace back. I can't really explain it right now. You can have it. I never wanted your stupid necklace anyway. You only care about yourself. You don't care about us at all. I have to go on an important mission...I mean, errand. There are snacks in the fridge. I'll be back in 10 minutes. Do you guys need anything? My mom. We'll be fine. Right. Argonaut, watch the kids. (ADVENTUROUS MUSIC) COMPUTERISED VOICE: House is now armed. Buckle up baby. Baby secure. Alright. Let's go for a ride. Hey, I thought you gave that back to Marissa. Wait till she looks in the box. Welcome back, agent. Is that the Chronos Sapphire? Without that our goose is cooked. Give it to Mommy. Thank you, pumpkin. Here. Give it to me. (MARISSA GASPS) Oh. Another prank. Baby food. I'm sorry. My stepdaughter is a little upset. She has the necklace. I can get it back. The Chronos Sapphire can wait. Your old pally Tick Tock has just been made. You're the one that can scoop him up. Pop the clutch. You're back on the clock. What about the Chronos? You nab Tick Tock, he'll lead us to the Time Keeper ` we don't need the Chronos. So Rebecca can keep the necklace? It would mean a lot if she could. OK, I'll do it. I just have go get my kids first. Those anklebiters will be fine. (DRAMATIC MUSIC) This is Seeker 17. We have a lock on the Chronos Sapphire. Repeat. We have found the Chronos Sapphire. Prepare to breach the entrance. You really shouldn't do that. But if you're going to, give her vampire teeth. COMPUTERISED VOICE: Warning! Residence subject to immediate attack. Please take shelter in the panic room now. You're really stepping up your game with these pranks. That's not my prank. COMPUTERISED VOICE: Warning! Residence subject to immediate attack. Take shelter in the panic room now. Where's the panic room? Don't fall for it. This is obviously Marissa's attempt to get me back. COMPUTERISED VOICE: Take shelter in the panic room now. Oh, and if we don't I suppose something really terrible will happen to us? (CRASH!) COMPUTERISED VOICE: Scanning. Identity match. Please enter the panic room now. Enter the panic room now. Let's go, Rebecca. Enter the panic room now. REBECCA: Whoa! (KIDS YELL) (BEEPING) Well, this is obviously the panic room. Why? 'Cause it's a room and I'm panicking. MARISSA OVER TELEVISION: Hello, children. I had this panic room installed when I married your father in the event that my work ever put the family in danger. Her work? There's something I never told you about myself because it was a matter of national security. I am a spy. Our stepmother's a spy? Impossible. She's not cool enough. (BEEPING) MARISSA: Argonaut is an Advanced Robotic Guardian Operative designed to protect you. I still think this is a prank. This is not a prank. The dog is talking. I noticed. Well, it's not the sort of thing you'd miss, is it, really? A small, handsome dog talking with an English accent, like James Bond? (RAPID BEEPING) (CRASH!) Anyway, I've been assigned to protect you, so gimme five. That's what cool people say, isn't it? Anyway, let's shake hands. Hello. How do you do? Argh! Oh, no! I hate when that happens. I am gonna need that back. (CECIL READS) "Sentry mode. Attack mode." I think you better keep it in sentry mode. ARGONAUT: Pop it back on. Any time you're ready. Good thinking. No, seriously, can I have it back now? 'Cause I am gonna fall over. (DRAMATIC MUSIC) The panic room is being attacked. You must leave now. The jet luges will take you to OSS headquarters. And sit. Do you get it? It's what humans usually say to dogs. I reversed it. I flipped it. ARGONAUT: This is gonna be great. I tell ya, we're gonna have... (KIDS YELL) (ARGONAUT GROANS) I usually have to eat grass or a slipper to feel this sick. I wasn't ready, that's all. I'm fine. I'm fine. (RUMBLING) (ADVENTUROUS MUSIC) TICK TOCK: Do not let the Chronos Sapphire get away. A mini camera is not that impressive anymore. People have them in their phones. Well, how small is it? That's impossible. (SCREAMING) Sorry. What? KIDS: Dad, help us! Sorry, there was an air show behind me. There's no such thing as invisibility powder. REBECCA: Alright, Argonaut. Start talking. Who were those guys with giant goggles? What do they want? How long has Marissa been a spy? OK, your stepmum will answer all of your questions post-mission. I have a question. Who's flying this thing? I thought you were. Oh, no. They do not look like pet lovers. MARISSA: Hello, children. If you're watching this your escape jets are under attack. We're going to have to initiate evasive manoeuvres to get you to OSS even faster. Brace yourselves. Oh, great. (KIDS SCREAM) It's like a big video game. Grab your controller and steer slowly. CECIL: Whoa! (SHOUTS) I'm gonna crash! I'm gonna hurl. Right. Puke goes in the bag, not on my fur. (KIDS SCREAM) They're gaining! Cecil, do something. He IS doing something. He's puking. We might need a bigger bag. ARGONAUT: In fact, we might need a bigger spaceship. It smells like fish socks in here. Can we at least open a window? Oh, it's not much fun in here. Hey, you opened up mine! Fresh air. That helps. I love this, sticking my head out the window. It's my favourite thing. (REBECCA SCREAMS) Oh! Whoa! Sorry. Cecil, how many puke bags do you have left? REBECCA: Make them count. Whoa! (BOTH YELL) Good job, Cecil. Never underestimate the power of puke. (BEEPING) Agent Argonaut reporting. Er, listen, the kids are fine. I can't say the same about the house. Why? What did they do? They didn't do anything. They didn't destroy the house. Tick Tock's men did. What?! Argonaut, I told you to watch them. I AM watching them! I'm watching them puke and scream. We've got to discuss hazard pay. Just get them to the OSS. I want a raise. There's only one person I want waiting there to greet them. OSS headquarters. How can I direct your call? CECIL: I saved your life. One point for me. REBECCA: Whatever. The puke bags were my idea. ARGONAUT: Why do you argue about everything? You're brother and sister. You're fighting like cats and dogs. Which I can understand ` why cats and dogs fight. Cats are awful. Just chillax. Part 'chill', part 'relax'. I fused them to make a trendy word. (BOTH GROAN) WOMAN: Welcome to the OSS. Who are you? Carmen Cortez, secret agent of the OSS. Your stepmom is my aunt. So a word of caution to you would-be supervillains out there ` your best defence may be... ..a jelly doughnut. What am I saying? What, are they gonna throw them at 'em? Just say it. I'm too attractive. Let's face it. I've never caught a spy and I probably never will. I say we go after the Time Keeper. Oh, that's realistic. Where you at with that piece for Spy Week? It's not due till Friday. It is Friday. Time's speeding up, Wilson. Don't you keep up with the news? Get me something on someone, anyone, and get it to me yesterday or there won't be a tomorrow for you at the station. Got it? It's time to get serious. Marissa's not picking up. Maybe she's under radio silence. She's got a lot of explaining to do, man. She never told you she was a spy, huh? Well, in her defence, she was retired. Well, hello. Hello, Argonaut. You're a big girl now. Is that titanium alloy? Treats? Oh, yes, please. (BURPS) Cheers. Cool. You want to see how I got started as a spy? BOTH: Yeah. This is the old Spy Kids Division. Whoa! Whoa. CARMEN: They shut it down seven years ago due to budget cuts. Really sad. It was ahead of its time. Spy Kids were an elite juvenile division of the OSS... I'm going to explode you. ..established to go where adult spies couldn't go and do what ordinary spies couldn't do. Ralphie, it's me! We went to the academy together. How are you do... Oh, no, I see. They've turned him off. Just as well. He was annoying. I'd like to bring back the Spy Kids Division one day. We call those stompers and hammer hands. They use electron fields to create superhuman impact force. These are awesome. You can crush things. Field ambush supplies? CARMEN: Built to help a spy create on-the-spot booby traps, ambushes, mass confusion and pranks. Pranks? I'll tell you what. I'll let you guys pick out one gadget each as a souvenir. Mine. Mine. Don't get too excited. I said I'd let you guys pick out a gadget. I didn't say I'd activate it. Back in the day, the kids who made the best spies were the ones who didn't wait around for the perfect gadgets. They made stuff happen with what they had on hand. Who's that? Me and my brother Juni. We were the first and last of the Spy Kids program. CECIL: Where is he? We shall not speak of him. Let's go. And this is where our grand tour ends. Wait here. Marissa will pick you guys up in a minute. Can we be candidates for the new Spy Kids program? Time will tell. Sorry, guys. Gotta go. OSS has us working around the clock. We have to stop the Time Keeper before the Time Keeper stops time. ARGONAUT: 'The Time Keeper'! That's not much of a villain's name, is it? "Ooh, the Time Keeper!" Oh, has he got a watch, has he? That's not a scary name at all. Rubbish. (SNIFFS) (SPITS) COMPUTERISED VOICE: You have reached your destination for this mission ` good luck, agent. So Tick Tock attacked our house and chased after your brother and sister. What do you think we should do? Annihilate Tick Tock. Annihilate? Good thinking. DANGER ON RADIO: Welcome back to the big time, agent. Suit up. Intel places Tick Tock at this location. Spot him and let him lead us to the Time Keeper's Armageddon Device. Then call in and wait for backup. MARISSA: Here's my backup. TICK TOCK: Alright, you, I need you at 6 o'clock, right here. There. Come on, bring it in. The Armageddon Device will be here any minute and we must be ready for its arrival. TICK TOCK: Cover the exit. There you go. Good work. Focus up. Focus, focus! What you doing? We're moments away. (WHISPERS) Alright, there we go. My plan is almost complete! I just need to get the Chronos back from those meddlesome kids. (FARTS) Ooh. (CONTINUES FARTING) Shh! Oh, are you kidding me? Is that you? Did you drop your transmission? Oh, my God. Gentlemen, please. That smells like lentils and desperation. My God, that's mental. It's following you. Get back on your marks. Focus. I'm blinded! Ow! It's here, it's here. It's finally here! Places, everyone. This is the moment we've all been waiting for! Right on time. Hickory-dickory dock The spy ran up the clock The clock struck one and the spy was done Game, set and match Tick Tock. (CHUCKLES) Wait a minute. Hold on. This is your sidekick? A nose-picking baby? Gentlemen, get in here. Baby, looks like we've been set up. Finish her. Boom! Boom! (ALL GRUNT AND YELL) Better luck next time. (LAUGHS) The bigger the crime the better the time. He's really starting to tick me off. (MEN GROAN) (ARGONAUT SINGS) # 10 green bottles hanging on a wall # 10 green bottles hanging on a wall # And if one green bottle should accidentally fall... # I'm still mad at Stepmother... Marissa. ..for not telling us she was a spy, for not telling Dad. Maybe she quit to make more time for us. Yeah, right. Well, wouldn't you want to be a spy? I will be, an even better spy than Marissa. What are you up to? Carmen said that the best Spy Kids were the ones who didn't wait around. They went out and made stuff happen. It would have to be something really amazing. Like catching the Time Keeper? Bad idea. First person to get the bad guy wins. No! Not another compet... What part of 'chillax' don't you understand? Game on. Oh, man! This electric shock gum ball doesn't work either. While you're chewing gum over there, I'm hacking into my hammer hands. (MECHANISM WHIRRS) I think I got it! Ow! Why?! I just don't understand. It says 'Batteries are included'. Read the fine print. 'On and off button not included'. Let's get out of here. Good idea. Hey! Hey! What are you kids doing? You don't have security clearance to be out here. Um, we lost our dog. Yeah, but we just found him. See? Hello. I mean, "Bark." I mean, "Woof, woof." Definitely I mean... (WHISPERS) Shut up. Yeah, they're not falling for it. Looks like we're all in this together now. Run! Hey, stop right there! Hey, stop! ARGONAUT: Oh, excuse me. Coming through. Nice shoes. Thank you... Sorry, sorry. (ALL GASP AND YELL) MAN: Stop those kids! We'll never outrun them! MEN: Ohh! Yes, we will. Pull my collar. Oil slick. (ALL EXCLAIM AND YELL) BOTH: Awesome! Uh-oh. They're still after us! Pull my tail. Butt bombs. MEN: Ohh! This is the coolest dog ever! ARGONAUT: Absolutely. That's an award and I accept it. BOTH: Whoa! Wait, wait. One more, one more. Pull my finger. Do it. Wait for it. (BOTH COUGH AND GAG) What was that supposed to do? It just makes me laugh. Ha-ha! Eugh! Oh! Silent but lethal. How are we gonna find the Time Keeper? I don't know if it was that hard just getting out of the lounge. ARGONAUT: This is the Telematic Organism Oscillation Transporter, otherwise known as TOOT. Carmen said not to rely on our gadgets, but to use our heads. Argonaut, what do you know about the Time Keeper? First type in my pass code ` 00-WOOF. They've intercepted several coded messages as to the Time Keeper's location, but no-one's been able to crack the code. It's not a code. It's an anagram. Drop all the numbers, switch all the letters around and it spells something else. "Big time watch repair shop"? The bad guy's holding the world hostage from a watch shop? Well, he is called the Time Keeper. Villains do love their secret hide-outs to have a theme. This will take us to the Time Keeper's shop without having to leave the building. REBECCA: You better not disintegrate us. I think that's sort of the point. What? They took the Chronos Sapphire! Don't let them get away. BOTH: Ohh! You weirdo! You vaporised us! Arggh! I've lost face. Something stinks around here. I always knew you were a butthead. Whoa! I'd give you a knuckle sandwich if I knew where my knuckles were! Arggh! (ARGONAUT LAUGHS) (GROANS) Oh, I think my stomach is inside out. I think I'm missing a kidney. BOTH: Argonaut! Gotcha! (LAUGHS) I'm just pulling your leg. Ha! Brilliant. A comedian. (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Marissa's on the line. CARMEN: Marissa? MARISSA: OK, sweetheart. Hello? Give Mommy the commlink. There we go. Thank you. Sorry. Technical difficulties, Carmen. How are the kids? They're, uh...napping. OK, where are they really? I'm really sorry. They TOOTed themselves out of the OSS. Send me their coordinates. I'll meet you there. You know, she's a lot like you, Carmen. That's what I'm afraid of. (TICKING) Are you sure this is the place? ARGONAUT: Let's think. He's called the Time Keeper. This is a room full of clocks. Nah, let's go. Let's check out that cheese shop across the road. CECIL: It's another anagram. Switch all those letters around and what do they spell? Oh, um...'TEA LOVER'. ARGONAUT: Brilliant. 'ELEVATOR'. (CLOCK CHIMES) This must be the access panel. Oops. CECIL: One point for me. Maybe this little guy. Two points for me. Oh, you could help, genius. And risk losing? COMPUTERISED VOICE: Password accepted. Let's see where this leads before we call you the winner. ARGONAUT: You should have a competition to see which one of you is the most annoying. KIDS: Arggh! Help! KIDS: Ohh! All my own stunts, all my own stunts. And it's a giant clock. ARGONAUT: No, it's a giant death trap. CECIL: That's the hour hand, the minute hand and that's the second hand. So what's...that? That's probably the cut-you-in-half hand. Oh! Well, I'm going home. There's a door over there! So? First person to get across without getting smushed wins. Ohh! Listen, just because one person jumps off a cliff doesn't mean you have to follow them, does it? Oh, it does, apparently. (CECIL GRUNTS) Brilliant. Here we go again. Oh. REBECCA: Here comes the cut-you-in-half hand. Jump! I'll duck, thank you very much. Whoa, whoa! Ohh! There's gotta be a better way to pass the time. CECIL: Here it comes again. It's moving faster! REBECCA: That's because time is speeding up. Listen, I was told to watch you kids, but not watch you die! Huh! Ohh! Cecil, hang on! Now, THIS is fun to watch. Arggh! Ohh! (GRUNTS) (GROANS) You OK? Yeah. I win. (BAM!) One point for me. Ow. Come on! This way. (DEVICE BEEPS) Hey, hey, it's working! Sweet. I spy a spy. Go get the camera. It's show time. My five-year plan is coming together. This is my big break. Now we just build on this success and maybe some day hit prime time. Prime time means free time, to spend with my kids. Great plan. Only in five years, they won't be kids anymore. What are you saying? Spend the time now. 'Cause the one thing you'll always find time for later is regret. (SNIVELS) Oh, jeez. REBECCA: We almost got cut in half for a computer? There's a lot here about 'The Boy Trapped in Time'. And that's gonna happen to us if we don't stop the Time Keeper. According to this, he was part of a time travel experiment. CECIL: Time travel in the 1930s? ARGONAUT: People sure did talk funny back then. (READS) "Project Armageddon Test Footage ` 1936. "Chronos Sapphire discovered to be the only known element "able to stop the Armageddon Device." We have to get out of here. What's wrong? They're after the necklace! (MECHANICAL WHIRRING) Oh! That'll stop your clock. (CHUCKLES) Watch your head! Oops! Sorry about that. The good news is you're tall enough to go on all the rides. Huh! Oh! (DEEP VOICE) Playing spy games? You children think you have all the time in the world, but soon I will. Hand over the necklace. MARISSA: I think it's time you found a more secret lair. CECIL: Marissa! What?! Leave my kids alone. STEPkids! Shh! She's here to save us. How dare you waste time bickering about that! If you have no interest in being a family then you don't deserve any time together. MARISSA: Well, he's right about one thing. If we're gonna get outta here, we need to work as a family. Fire up your gadgets. They're not activated. They're just souvenirs. Not anymore. (GADGETS BEEP AND TRILL) Hammer time. Huh! MEN: Ohh! (DRAMATIC MUSIC) Cool. (DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES) (DEVICE BEEPS) A watch shop? COMPUTERISED VOICE: Slight left and proceed around building. Turn right, now. Spy detected. It's a dumpster. Spy detected. Walk forward now. Turn left now. Left foot, right foot, left foot, big right foot. Centre and stop. Proceed below. The annoying voice is saying there's a spy right here. Look. Proceed below now. Arggh! Argh! This is more than a dumpster! (DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES) REBECCA: Sorry! It's OK. Do it again. Oh, shi...take mushrooms. Come here. OK, ready? Wilbur Wilson ` Spy Hunter here. As you can see, I'm in some sort of underground secret lair where the battle for freedom and justice is being fought by our country's top spies. I really can't see much from up here, but we can zoom in with our Spy Hunt Cam and get a closer look. The kids are gonna flip when they see this. Did you get that? You got it? Go, go, go. Argonaut, do something! What you want me to do? I'm a lover, not a fighter. BOTH: Attack mode! (GRUNTS) Attack mode activated. It's show time! REBECCA: Go, Argo! Go! Oh, someone put that on YouTube! Time flies when you're having fun. (ALL GRUNT) My necklace! Oh! Let's get the kids out of here! Argonaut! Release! Oh, come on! I was gonna bury him in the backyard. Let them go. It's all part of the plan. We have the Chronos Sapphire. Nothing can stop us now. q Sorry about the necklace, Marissa. "Sorry about the necklace, Marissa." I should've given it back to you when you asked. Yes, you should've. We had no idea the Time Keeper wanted it. "We're just dumb kids." You couldn't have known. It was classified. The whole world's in big trouble. Don't look at me. It's all our fault. And I'm sorry I didn't share with you that I was a spy, but it was important to me that you were both protected and safe. What's important is stopping the Time Keeper. Give us another chance. You two have been so very brave and I'm so proud of you. That sounds like something my mom would say. (COMMLINK TRILLS) They want us back for a debrief. Take the kids back to OSS. I'll meet you there. CARMEN: Got it. Thanks for rescuing us. Anytime. I used to get in trouble like this all the time! Hi, sweetheart. Sorry I missed you. Great news ` I got the most amazing footage of a real spy battle at the watch shop! I'm gonna put it on the air tonight, prime time. The kids are gonna be so proud. Oh, no. Love you, miss you, need you. 'Bye! Call me back! You did it, Spy Hunter. That's great. We're gonna win an Emmy for this, a Pulitzer. Whoa, whoa. Go back, go back. Does she have a baby with her? Oh, she does. Oh, that's priceless! OK, we're gonna need a graphic that reads "Spies are unfit moms." Wilbur, see if you can get a quote from Child Protective Services. If we're lucky, they'll take the kids away, put them in foster care! Yeah! Whoo-hoo! Wilbur! Sorry. I'm a klutz. It's alright. I've got the original tape right here. Mm, mm. Didn't get any lunch. Huh, takes like chicken! Want some? OUT! Oh, jeez. COMPUTERISED VOICE: Spy detected. Oh, really? Great. Hi, honey. Don't 'honey' me. There's no 'honeying' anymore. You're a spy! Oh, you found out. Well, I'm a spy hunter. Apparently I'm not a very good one, since I've been living with one. I retired the day we had the baby because our family is the most important thing in the world to me and... ..I'm so sorry. Wow. I...I feel like such a fool. Why did you marry me? You must have lost a bet, right? You're the man I love. Well, now I'm the man without a job and maybe without a family. Where are the kids? They're under protective surveillance at the OSS. They're probably safer there anyway. I mean, their own dad can't protect them. Just tell them I love them. What about us? I just...need time. (STARTS ENGINE) (RAPID TICKING) NEWS ANCHOR: We're all running out of time. Some predicted it would come in a blaze of fire, a giant flood, but it was the ancient Mayans who got it right when they predicted an end to the human calendar, the end of time itself. Can anyone save us from this impending apocalypse, this final doomsday, this... Armageddon, also known as the Wells Experiment. Back in the day, this contraption almost caused the end of the world as we know it. That's why the OSS shut the experiment down and placed the device in Level 13 lockdown where it remains today. The fate of the world is on the line here. That's why I'm calling upon one of our most valued and skilled operatives, Agent Cortez. (APPLAUSE) He has even come out of retirement to help us. (PEOPLE MURMUR) (ROCK MUSIC) (PEOPLE GASP) Yeah! (PEOPLE APPLAUD AND EXCLAIM) Huh! Oh, brother. It's good to be back. (DANGER CONTINUES SPEAKING) Then you never should have left. Where have you been the last seven years? If I told you, then it wouldn't be called a secret mission. It's not like I missed you or anything. I needed a break from your face. Oh, what an incredible coincidence. I needed a break from yours. Oh, whatever! What's going on over there? (CARMEN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) Shh! Family reunion. This isn't about us. Carmen, this is about saving the world. You don't deserve to wear this badge. Oh! Thanks. You're welcome. Alright, agents, let's make sure there IS a tomorrow. Let's go save the world. (ALL CHEER) What do we get to do? What's our assignment? Man, why are WE in time-out? WE found the Time Keeper so why are we grounded? And why do WE have to watch the baby? Technically, I'm watching her. Sometimes you're the dog. Sometimes you're the baby entertainment centre. Danger D'Amo, director of the OSS. I wanted to commend you on your brave service. You bobble-heads really take after your mom. STEPmom. Let me give you some advice, kiddo. Don't get balled up over that kind of baloney. She takes the time to love you, you love her back. (OMINOUS MUSIC) Nice watch. Thanks. It was a gift from my pops. You sure talk funny. (CHUCKLES) You sure look funny. Danger D'Amo? Yeah. Did you know your name is an anagram? Switch the letters of your name around and it spells... ..'ARMAGEDDON', as in the Armageddon Device. Either that's a coincidence... ..or that's just an incredible coincidence. (DEVICE TRILLS) (WATCH TICKS) You're ticking. It's an old watch. (CLOCKS TICK LOUDLY) But you're wearing three more. You're the Time Keeper. Yeah. Well, I'd love to stick around and chat, but time is running out. The head of the good guys is actually the head of the bad guys? I did not see that coming. Oh, we're trapped in here! Look around for a commlink or phone. We have to warn Marissa! (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Agent Wilson. Turn around! It's a trap! Time Keeper is Danger! That's his secret identity. Look, I don't have time for your pranks right now, OK? Watch Argonaut watch the baby. Thank you. JUNI: The Armageddon Device. It's tiny. (CHUCKLING) (DEEP VOICE) If time's the test, family is best. It's a trap. Hello, agents. You're right on time. The kids were right. (DEEP VOICE) I guess I'm not... (NORMAL VOICE) ..who you thought I was. So where's the real Armageddon Device? Back at the OSS where it's always been. And now... ..I must get back to it. What's that? A really nice watch. Oh, it's also a freeze transmitter for all agents at the OSS. It's time to take out the competition. Danger, don't... And now to stop the world. Why didn't I freeze? I'm trapped in here. I need reinforcements. But there are no reinforcements. They're all frozen. Except... ANCHOR: Time has run out for most of the planet. 18 time zones have been frozen by the Time Keeper's Armageddon Device. One thing's for certain ` it's heading our way. But we must not lose hope. Who are we kidding? It's over! We're toast! JUNI ON TV: Attention, Spy Kids. You have been activated. I repeat, you have been activated. Is he talking to us? At this very moment, the Time Keeper is taking over OSS headquarters. Your time has come to save the world. Every OSS agent has been frozen. It's up to you to shut down the Armageddon Device. Get the necklace back. It's the only thing that can stop him. And how are WE supposed to do that? Spy Kids have always been able to beat the bad guys because adults overthink things. But, to a kid, everything is possible. Trust me. I know. Just use your imagination and work WITH each other, not against each other. CECIL: So no more competing against each other? Good. Argonaut! ARGONAUT: Attack mode, por favor. Attack the door. Argo smash! What about the baby? Spy Kids. Spy Dog. Spy Baby. (BREAKS WIND) Oh! Oh! ARGONAUT: Now that you've been activated as Spy Kids, you're part of an elite team, and we need to work together. Like Juni said, no more competitions. We've got to break into the OSS vault, get to the Time Keeper, find the Chronos Sapphire, then use it to stop the Armageddon Device, and, of course, save the world. Cecil, you take the vault. Rebecca, you're on pranks. And I, of course, will take the toughest assignment of all. I'll watch the baby. Ahem. So I realised the only way he could freeze agents was through their OSS badges. There you go. Thanks for trashing mine, Carmen. Thanks, Juni. Unfreeze your sister. OK, but first... Mm, this is how I remember you. And... ..there we go. Juni! Hm? Unfreeze her. But it's so peaceful and quiet. There. This never would've happened if I was mission leader. I activated Rebecca and Cecil. What? They're more ready than you think. If anything happens to those kids, you're toast. This way. Ahhh! Ahhh! Ugh! Ugh! Real smooth, diaper lady. I was just following my instincts. Well, your 'in' stinks. You two were the best spy team ever. What happened? Yeah, where you been all these years? I tried to strike out on my own, and I struck out, OK? Yeah, but Mom and Dad left the family business to the both of us. Yeah, well, I guess I thought it wasn't cool to keep working with my sister. It's what would've made you cool. Where's Marissa? (MARISSA MOANS) It's quicksand! Whoa. Ooh... Ugh! Don't make me punch your lights out. MAN: Uh-oh. (BAM! BAM!) (MEN GROAN IN PAIN) Now you've seen my dark side. (ELECTRONIC WHEEZING) Low battery? (HAMMER HANDS HUM) (HUMMING FADES) (SIGHS) "Don't rely on your gadgets." (TURNS UP HEARING AID) (VAULT TUMBLERS CLICK) Hmm. (VAULT LOCK CLUNKS) Hello? Is anyone in here? (DRAMATIC MUSIC) Ugh! You get the door open yet? I think we need another way in. OK, I'll be there in a minute. (SIGHS) Congratulations. You caught a kid. (CHUCKLES) Huh? Huh? Arggh! ENJOY THE RIDE! Arggh! Oh! Arggh! Now what? We give up. (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) It's the only way we'll get the necklace back. Just follow my lead. Hand over your weapons. All of your weapons. q (DOWNBEAT MUSIC) (TV TURNS ON) OSS agents have been frozen in time. If there's someone, anyone, out there that can save the day... Hello, Wilbur. Um... Yes, this is your dog and I'm talking, but never mind about that now. Rebecca and Cecil are in danger. They've been captured by the Time Keeper and they need your help. I know it's hard to believe, sir, but you're their last hope. I'd hurry if I were you. (MACHINERY WHINES) (DEVICE CLANKS AND GROANS) (REMOTE CONTROL BEEPS) (SIGHS) Ahh. What's with the jazz hands, huh, kiddies? My brother's hearing-impaired. And your goon took his hearing aids. Give him his hearing aids back. We're not monsters here. No, you're only trying to end the world. Why are you doing this? The Armageddon Device was not meant to end the world or stop time. It was meant to travel back in time... ..to get me back to that. My father. Son, come here. Take a look at this. TIME KEEPER: The Wells Experiment was an early attempt at time travel. That's me before the accident. My father was working on the original prototype. They were just about to test the machine when it went haywire. He told me not to play near the lab. (POIGNANT MUSIC) But I never listened. It trapped me in time for so many years I almost lost count. You were the boy frozen in time? My father spent his entire life... trying to set me free. (WATCH TICKS) I watched him grow old... ..and eventually... ..die. The OSS shut down the experiment with a solution that literally fell from the sky ` the Chronos Sapphire. (WELLS EXPERIMENT SHUTS DOWN) When the effects wore off, I was a grown man in a boy's body. All my friends were gone. My father...gone. Everything and everyone I cared about was no more. And all of this is so you can see your father again? I WANT MORE TIME... ..with him. He gave me everything. But I couldn't even give him the time of day because I didn't know... ..that our time would be so short together. But now when I go back, things are gonna be different. No, they won't. Excuse me? You can't actually travel through time. Time stays the same. You're just creating multiple versions of yourself that appear at different points in time. He's wrong. Our plan will work. CECIL: You've tried this before and failed. And my guess is that you've... already gone back in time...a lot. This isn't the first time you've travelled back. And every time you return, you come back worse. Each time your plan fails, you try it again with another you. But when are you going to learn you can't change the past? You will only cause Armageddon. Don't listen to him. This time, it WILL work. You will go back and you will have all the time in the world to spend with your father. Danger, when my mom died, it was the worst thing that could ever happen to me. I wished I had more time with her. There's no going back. Honour the years you had with him. Those brief...special moments... ..are the ones we'll remember. REBECCA: It's not about how much time you have. It's what you CHOOSE to do with it. (KLAXON WAILS) VOICEOVER: T minus 20 minutes till Armageddon. The time vortex is opening. (THUD!) How'd you get out of my sand trap? With my bare hands. Actually, it was my atomic lipstick. Keep away from my stepkids. Make that your 'kids'. Alright. Make that your "Spy Kids". Stay away from my Spy Kids. Too late! (THUNDEROUS ROAR) It worked. It worked! Everyone in the world is frozen except us. REBECCA: And us. The Chronos! REBECCA: Don't let go of the watch or you'll freeze. We have to use the necklace to stop the Armageddon Device once and for all. Enter the vortex! Huh! Wait! You don't have your hammer hands. I don't need hammer hands. (CHUCKLES) (CHUCKLES) Oh... Yeah... Cecil! (GASPS) Ugh! Hey, Marissa gave that to me! Catch! Ooh! Don't do it, Danger! You can't bring back the past! Time is the enemy of youth. I'm getting mine back. You won't change anything! (WONDROUS MUSIC) I thought you said nothing would change. Wait for it. Who's that? That's Danger. You were right. You can't go back. I tried. My father still died, no matter what I tried to do to save him. He did tell me one thing that was very important. "You have to live life... "..moving forwards, not back." This time... ..I'm gonna listen to him. (TRIUMPHANT MUSIC) Ugh! (WATCH TICKS) Kids! Marissa! I was so worried about you guys. Are you OK? Yeah. I'm so sorry I brought you into this. Worst...stepmom...ever. (SIGHS) Yeah. But best Spy Mom ever. I like when you're being yourself. Come here. (CACKLES) You think you've stopped me? (GASPS) You've stopped nothing. We're just gonna keep doing this over and over and over again until I get what I want! Because, this time, time is on my side. (UPBEAT MUSIC) Yeah, hard time. KIDS: Whoa! How'd you find us? I'm Wilbur Wilson, your father. You're the coolest dad ever. I'm not gonna wait until I have enough time for us to spend together. From now on... ..we're gonna make time. Now, that's heroic. So... So... You're a spy? Yeah. I'm a spy. Well... ..I'm a spy hunter. Gotcha. And I'm never letting go. Now, this is family time. Juni and I have decided to become co-leaders of the new Spy Kids program. We're gonna need some new recruits with ingenuity, creativity and heads-up thinking. Rebecca? Cecil? And, of course, Spy Baby. Yeah, baby's got a surprise for you. Don't get... This is it. That's it. Just, uh... Baby's first steps! You're more impressed by a kid standing up than a dog that can talk? Hold on a second. I... Ugh! (LAUGHS) Nice! Oh, baby's first bad guy! Wow! I taught her that. Well, can never start 'em too young. (LAUGHS) Mommy's so proud of you! We are back on the clock, back to taking our own sweet time, to laugh, to cry, to embrace our loved ones. We have all the time in the world. Or do we? REBECCA: Voice activate. Operation Spy Kid Recruitment. (COMPUTER BEEPS) CECIL: Identifying possible talent. Setting filters to match. (COMPUTER BEEPS REPEATEDLY) You have been activated. And you have been activated. I now declare you all Spy Kids. That's one point for me. Ouch. (DRAMATIC ROCK MUSIC) (MOODY MUSIC) www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Able 2014 (BURPS) Cheers. (DRAMATIC ROCK MUSIC) (MOODY MUSIC)