l Jupiter: TECHNICALLY SPEAKING, I'M AN ALIEN. AND FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF IMMIGRATION, AN ILLEGAL ONE. MY PARENTS MET AT THE UNIVERSITY IN SAINT PETERSBURG WHERE HE TAUGHT ASTROPHYSICS AND SHE TAUGHT APPLIED MATHEMATICS. (SIGHS) MY MOTHER FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM WHEN SHE FOUND HIM ALMOST FROZEN TO DEATH ON THE BANK OF THE NEVA, STARING AT THE STARS. TONIGHT, THE SKY IS COMPLETELY FULL OF MIRACLES. MY MOTHER WON'T TALK MUCH ABOUT THAT TIME. (SIGHS) BUT MY AUNT NINO TOLD ME ABOUT MY FATHER. MAX... HIS NAME WAS MAXIMILIAN JONES AND HE WAS THE SON OF AN ENGLISH DIPLOMAT WHO ALWAYS SAW THE BEST IN PEOPLE. I OFTEN WONDER IF WHAT HAPPENED TO MY MOTHER AND FATHER CHANGED ME FROM SOMEONE WHO MIGHT HAVE SEEN THE BEST IN PEOPLE TO SOMEONE WHO ALWAYS EXPECTS THE WORST. HOW'S MY JUPITER? NOT A PLANET. THE PLANET. THE BIGGEST AND MOST BEAUTIFUL PLANET IN OUR SOLAR SYSTEM. SHE IS OUR JUPITER. (SMOOCHES) OVER MY DEAD BODY WE WILL NAME HER "JUPITER." (SIGHS) SOON YOU WILL DISCOVER THAT YOUR MOTHER CAN BE EXTRAORDINARILY UNREASONABLE AT TIMES. (LAUGHS) BUT FORTUNATELY FOR US, SHE REMAINS SUSCEPTIBLE TO YOUR FATHER'S PARTICULAR... (CHUCKLES) ...CHARM. (LAUGHS) (GASPS) SHOUTING IN RUSSIAN NO, OH, NO, OH, NO! NO, NOT THE TELESCOPE, PLEASE! DON'T TAKE THE TELESCOPE, PLEASE! GUNSHOT (GRUNTS) MAX! MA-- (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) OH. Jupiter: IN HER GRIEF, MY MOTHER PUSHED EVERYONE EXCEPT HER SISTER OUT OF HER LIFE. (SCREAMING) SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ATLANTIC, SHE PUSHED ME OUT TOO. PUSHA. PUSHA! BABY CRYING I WAS BORN WITHOUT A COUNTRY. WITHOUT A HOME. WITHOUT A FATHER. (LAUGHS) BUT I WAS BORN IN THE HOUSE OF LEO... (WHISPERS IN RUSSIAN) ...WITH JUPITER RISING AT TWENTY-THREE DEGREES ASCENDANT. (WHISPERING IN RUSSIAN) Jupiter: ACCORDING TO MY AUNT, THIS IS SUPPOSED TO MEAN THAT I AM DESTINED FOR GREAT THINGS AND THAT I WILL FIND THE ONE TRUE LOVE OF MY LIFE. Aleksa: JUPITER. COMING! YOU FINISH THE BATHROOM YET? UH, NOT YET. (SCOFFS) WE STILL HAVE ANOTHER HOUSE TONIGHT. I-I'LL BE FAST. (SIGHS) Jupiter: PROBLEM WITH ASTROLOGY? TOILET FLUSHES TOTAL BULLSHIT. CHOIR SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE Kalique: WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THIS PLANET? Titus: ZALINTYRE, I THINK. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A HARVEST? OH, NO. NEVER! BUT I'VE HEARD THEY FEEL NO PAIN. IT'S ALL QUITE HUMANE, FROM WHAT I'VE BEEN TOLD. WELL, THERE ARE MARSHALS AND ADMINISTRATORS TO MAKE SURE EVERYTHING'S DONE ACCORDING TO CODE, BUT STILL... IT CAN BE RATHER... AFFECTING. NOW YOU SOUND LIKE MOTHER. (CHUCKLES) MOST OF THEM WERE MISERABLE IN THEIR LIVES AND WHAT WE DO FOR THEM IS A MERCY. BALEM, THANK YOU FOR RESPONDING. WE WERE JUST ADMIRING THIS LEDGER FROM YOUR LATEST SUCCESS. WELL-DONE, BROTHER. THE HOUSE OF ABRASAX CONTINUES TO THRIVE, DESPITE THE SQUANDERING OF YOUR INHERITANCE, BROTHER. I MUST SAY, YOU'RE LOOKING A LITTLE WORSE FOR WEAR. COULD IT BE SUCCESS DOES NOT AGREE WITH YOU? AND YOU LOOK SO WELL. COULD IT BE THAT FAILURE AGREES WITH YOU? YOU MAY HAVE INHERITED MOTHER'S HEAD FOR BUSINESS, BUT I INHERITED HER HEART. AND WHAT DOES THAT LEAVE ME? HER BEAUTY. LIAR. HER HUMOR. HER UNLUCKINESS IN LOVE? HER FETISH FOR WRINKLES. WELL, IF THIS IS TO BE ANOTHER OF YOUR EULOGIES, TITUS, I HAVE MORE IMPORTANT MATTERS TO ATTEND. IT WAS HER BIRTHDAY RECENTLY. YOU KNOW I GET SENTIMENTAL, AND I WAS GOING THROUGH SOME OF MOTHER'S OLD SHEAVE-WORK AND I CAME ACROSS A DESCRIPTION OF A PLANET SHE CLAIMED WAS THE MOST RARE AND BEAUTIFUL ESTATE SHE EVER OWNED. I BELIEVE SHE NAMED IT... EARTH. ...EARTH. IT WAS PART OF YOUR INHERITANCE, WASN'T IT, BROTHER? I WAS QUITE MOVED BY HER DESCRIPTION AND I WAS WONDERING IF THERE WAS ANY CHANCE YOU MIGHT BE WILLING TO PART WITH IT. TITUS, DIDN'T YOU BOTHER TO LOOK AT THE SHEAVES? THAT PLANET IS WORTH MORE THAN ALL OF YOUR ESTATES COMBINED. REALLY? I HAD NO IDEA. KALIQUE. BALEM. ALARM CLOCK BEEPING BEEPING STOPS (SIGHS) (GRUNTS) JUPITER, GET UP! JUPITER GROANS GET UP! (GROANS) JUPITER, MAKE THE COFFEE. COME ON. (SIGHS) OH, I HATE MY LIFE. ALARM CLOCK BEEPING (GROANS) JUPITER, HURRY UP! THAT ONE GOES NEXT TO THAT ONE. Aleksa: JUPITER! GET THE GARBAGE AFTER THIS. YOU FINISH THE BATHROOM? NO. VACUUM CLEANER RUNS JUPITER! I HATE MY LIFE. SIREN WAILS (WHISTLES) DAMN IT. TOLD YOU. LYCANTANT. ANOTHER HUNTER. AND EX-LEGION. HE WAS A SKYJACKER. HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? THE BOOTS. DEVICE WHIRS THERE WAS A HUNTER IN THE LEGION. A LEGEND. COULD TRACK A SINGLE GENE IN THE GYRE. NO MATTER WHO OR WHAT HE IS... HE'S AFTER OUR BOUNTY. DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE (YELLS) (GRUNTS) THAT'S HIM. IT'S GOT TO BE. WE SHOULD WARN LORD BALEM. THAT IS WHAT WE SHOULD DO, BUT... DO YOU TRUST ME? THIS MATTER MUST BE HANDLED WITH DELICACY, MALIDICTES. Malidictes: I UNDERSTAND, LADY KALIQUE. YOUR HIGHNESS. NEITHER BALEM NOR TITUS MUST SUSPECT MY INVOLVEMENT. OF COURSE, YOUR MAJESTY. YOU BELIEVE THE HUNTERS CAN BE TRUSTED? TRUST IS AN ILLUSION, MY LADY. I BELIEVE ONLY IN MUTUAL SELF-INTEREST. THEY WANT ANOTHER LIFE. WE CAN OFFER IT. MAKE THE DEAL. THUNDER CRASHING Mr. Night: WELCOME BACK, LORD BALEM. IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG. I HAVE NOT CROSSED THE VASTNESS OF SPACE FOR YOUR PLEASANTRIES, MR. NIGHT. OF COURSE, MY LORD. WE HAVE VERIFIED THE GENEPRINT. MOST UNFORTUNATE NEWS. I BELIEVE TITUS IS AWARE OF THE RECURRENCE. MY SPIES WHISPER BUT CANNOT SUBSTANTIATE. SO YOU HAVE HER PRINT, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE HER? MR. TSKALIKAN. THE KEEPERS TRACED THE PRINT TO A MEDICAL CLINIC. THEY'RE ELIMINATING EVERY LEAD. WE HAVE A NAME. DUNLEVY. KATHERINE DUNLEVY. WELL, I WANT MISS DUNLEVY FOUND... AND I WANT HER DEAD. BLACK. CLASSIC? A LA MODE, A LA M-- NO. KATHERINE, I'M DONE. (GASPS) JUPITER! HELP, PLEASE? WOW, WHAT'S THE OCCASION? AUSTIN DAVIS IS TAKING ME TO DINNER. I THINK HE'S GONNA ASK ME TO MARRY HIM! DO YOU WANNA MARRY HIM? JUPITER, HE'S THE NUMBER EIGHT RICHEST BACHELOR UNDER THIRTY IN AMERICA. HE SPEAKS FLUENT CHINESE AND GERMAN, AND HE WAS AN ALTERNATE ON THE OLYMPIC CURLING TEAM. SOLID RESUME. YEAH, I MEAN, IT SOUNDS TOTALLY (SIGHS) CINDERELLA, DOESN'T IT? (Chuckling) SURE. THEN WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I'M ABOUT TO THROW UP? OH, GOD. AWW. I JUST DON'T REMEMBER CINDERELLA PUKING. KIND OF REMEMBER HER DANCING WITH A BUNCH OF MICE. HAVE YOU EVER... FALLEN IN LOVE, JUPITER? YOU KNOW, MY MOM SAYS THAT LOVE IS JUST A FAIRYTALE FOR LITTLE GIRLS. THAT REALLY, IT'S ALL JUST URGES AND OBLIGATIONS. WOW. THAT'S KIND OF HARSH. YOU WANT MY ADVICE? YES. IF HE'S REALLY IN LOVE WITH YOU, THEN HE'LL UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE JUST OVERWHELMED AND... AND YOU NEED A LITTLE TIME. THAT MAKES SENSE. YEAH. OKAY, WHAT DO I WEAR NOW? SOMETHING THAT REMINDS HIM OF WHAT HE IS WAITING FOR. OH! LIKE THAT RED McQUEEN, OR THIS LITTLE RICCI. (SCREAMS) THUD! WHIRRING OH... CHATTERING CELLPHONE RINGS (GASPS) (GROWLS) (GASPS) KNOCK ON DOOR Man: KATHERINE? EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT? YEAH, NO, NO. WE'RE GOOD. I'LL BE DOWN IN A SEC. Russian accent: PICKED UP A REFERRAL. A TOWNHOUSE. BUT IT HAS TO BE WEDNESDAY. WEDNESDAY'S FULL. THREE HOUSES. SO DO FOUR. (SIGHS) ENGLISH, PLEASE. WE USE ENGLISH IN THIS HOUSE. USE WHATEVER YOU LIKE. YOU SOUND LIKE STALIN TO ME. (CHUCKLES) STALIN?! I'M STALIN? YOU DON'T WANT THE MONEY. I WILL GIVE IT TO, UH, GLEB'S CREW. AH, GOOD. THANK YOU. HEY. WE'LL TAKE IT. BIG SURPRISE. HEY, COUSIN, SPEAKING OF MONEY, I WAS WONDERING IF-- OH, LET ME GUESS. ANOTHER ADVANCE. FOR WHAT THIS TIME? SHOES? A NEW PHONE? I'LL EARN IT BACK. (Chuckling) OH. NO, YOU MEAN YOU'LL WASTE IT TRYING TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER BY BUYING SOMETHING YOU DON'T NEED. SO, WHAT, INSTEAD OF FEELING BETTER, I SHOULD SAVE MY MONEY AND FEEL WORSE? EXACTLY. NOW, YOU'RE A SMART GIRL, JUPITER. AND I ADMIT IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS, BUT THAT'S PROBABLY THE REASON YOU ARE NOT MARRIED. (SIGHS) MEN DO NOT LIKE SMART WOMEN. YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT MY DAUGHTER LIKE THAT, I WILL RAM THAT LATKE SO FAR UP YOUR ASS, YOU WON'T CRAP FOR A WEEK. ENGLISH. HEY! HEY! YOU SWORE, NO FIGHTING AT DINNER. JUPITER, WHAT IS THE MONEY FOR? NO, YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S NOTHING I NEED. HEY, WHAT WAS, UH, THAT ABOUT? YOU'RE NOT HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS, ARE YOU? WHAT IF I AM? JUPITER... THESE PEOPLE, THEY'RE COUNTING ON YOU. HAVE YOU EVEN LOOKED AT THIS THING? WHY DO THEY HAVE TO USE WORDS LIKE "HARVESTING"? IT'S JUST CREEPY. PAPER CRUMPLES WHY WOULD YOU READ THIS? YOU HEARD WHAT THE DOCTOR SAID. IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL. YOU GO IN, CASH COMES OUT. THIS MONEY, I'M TELLING YOU, I HAVE REAL PLANS, SERIOUS PLANS. I BELIEVE THIS MONEY'S GONNA MEAN SOMETHING... POSSIBLY LIFE-CHANGING FOR BOTH OF US. OKAY. (EXHALES SLOWLY) OKAY. YOU WILL NOT REGRET THIS. ALL RIGHT. I PROMISE. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. I PROMISE! ALL RIGHT. OH, WAIT-WAIT, I-I HAVE A QUESTION. WHY IS IT THAT YOU GET TEN GRAND AND I GET FIVE? I MEAN, THEY'RE NOT YOUR EGGS. (CHUCKLES) THAT'S CAPITALISM, BABE. SHIT ROLLS DOWNHILL. PROFITS FLOW UP. (BLOWS) (SCOFFS) FOOTSTEPS ASCENDING STAIRS Nurse: MS. DUNLEVY? EXCUSE ME. Y-YOU ARE KATHERINE DUNLEVY, AREN'T YOU? THE DOCTOR'S READY. MONITOR BEEPING I-I THINK SOMETHING'S WRONG. IT'S THE HORMONES, DEAR. DON'T WORRY. YOU'LL BE FINE. Doctor: TRUST ME, HONEY. I COULD DO THIS PROCEDURE WITH MY EYES CLOSED. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! PLEASE! PLEASE, I CAN'T! JUST RELAX. (WHIMPERS) (GROANING) (GASPS) I CAN'T MOVE MY ARMS! WHA-WHAT'S HAPPENING? PLEASE, PLEASE, STOP. Doctor: GET A SAMPLE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? MAKE SURE THIS IS THE RIGHT ONE. WAIT, WAIT. WAIT, STOP! PLEASE, PLEASE, STOP! (MOANS) IT'S HER. GOOD. KILL HER. PLEASE, SOMEBODY-- OH, MY GOD! ALIENS CHATTERING (GASPING) YOU ALL RIGHT? WHO ARE YOU? CAINE WISE. I'M HERE TO HELP YOU. (SIGHS) F (MOANING) (CLEARS THROAT) PARDON ME, LORD TITUS. ONLY GOOD NEWS IS ALLOWED IN HERE, FAMULUS. WE RECEIVED AN FTL FROM MR. WISE. HE SAYS HE HAS THE GIRL. BRILLIANT. THEN SEND THE TRANSPORT IMMEDIATELY. AT ONCE, MY LORD. LIGHT BEEPING I THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER WHEN YOU WOKE UP. WHAT? THE GUN. BUT IT WORKS BETTER IF YOU FLIP THE SWITCH BY YOUR THUMB. CAREFUL. YOU'VE BEEN ASLEEP FOR ALMOST TWELVE HOURS. (SIGHS) WHERE AM I? YOU'RE STILL IN CHICAGO. OKAY, GOOD. MY CLOTHES? UM, YOU WERE STILL IN THE PAPER CLINIC GOWN. EH, CAN'T REALLY THINK ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW. LOOK, JUPITER... IS THAT YOUR NAME? HOW DO YOU KNOW? I'M SORRY. I WAS JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HAPPENED. YOU MUST HAVE USED A FALSE NAME AT THE CLINIC AND THEIR TESTS PROBABLY TRIPPED THE MONITOR TO YOUR GENEPRINT. W-WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? I MEAN, YES, I USED A FALSE NAME, BUT LOTS OF PEOPLE DO THAT IN THERE. WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH WHAT HAPPENED TO ME? OKAY. (SIGHS) WHEN I WAS IN THE LEGION, THEY GAVE ME PROTOCOLS FOR THIS. IT CAN BE (SIGHS) DIFFICULT FOR TERRSIES, OR PEOPLE FROM UNDERDEVELOPED WORLDS, TO HEAR THAT THEIR PLANET IS NOT THE ONLY INHABITED PLANET IN THE VERSE. S-- HAS TO BE THE ANESTHAESIA. I MEAN, IT'S GOTTA BE A DREAM. UH, PROTOCOL ACTUALLY SAYS THAT MOST TERRSIES WILL SAY THAT THIS HAS TO BE A DREAM. YEAH, BECAUSE A DREAM IS THE ONLY WAY ANY OF THIS MAKES SENSE. COMPARED TO WHAT? THE IDEA THAT YOU'RE THE ONLY INTELLIGENT SPECIES, ON THE ONLY INHABITABLE PLANET IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF PLANETS THAT YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A NUMBER TO DESCRIBE HOW MANY THERE ARE? ARE YOU SAYING YOU'RE AN ALIEN? GENOMGINEERED HUMAN. THEY CUT MY DNA WITH THE DNA OF SOMETHING LIKE A WOLF. I'M A LYCANTANT, BRED FOR THE MILITARY, BUT... THAT DIDN'T WORK OUT FOR ME. AND THOSE THINGS AT THE CLINIC? KEEPERS. THEY'RE FROM THE DIORITE SYSTEM, BUT THEY'RE GENETICALLY REPURPOSED TO ACT AS MONITORS AND WATCHDOGS. Voice breaking: AND THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL ME? YES. WHY ME? PLEASE. THIS-THIS HAS TO BE A MISTAKE. THESE PEOPLE DON'T MAKE THOSE KIND OF MISTAKES. WHAT IF I SAY NO? WHAT IF, WHAT IF I D-, I DON'T GO WITH YOU? WHAT IF I GO HOME? WHAT? A-ARE THEY GONNA COME AFTER ME AGAIN? AN FTL, MY LORD. THERE WAS A PROBLEM AT THE CLINIC. A FORMER LEGIONNAIRE WAS INVOLVED. A LEGIONNAIRE? WHAT ABOUT THE GIRL? STILL ALIVE. DOUBLE OUR SECURITY DEPLOYMENT. DESTROY ANY SHIP THAT COMES NEAR THE PLANET. (GROWLS) GO! Wow. HUH? ARE THOSE FLYING BOOTS? THEY USE THE FORCE OF GRAVITY, REDIRECTING IT INTO DEFERENTIAL EQUATION SLOPES THAT YOU CAN SURF. YEAH. I HEARD "GRAVITY" AND "SURF." (CHUCKLES) UP IS HARD. DOWN IS EASY. THANK YOU. WOW. OUR RIDE'S HERE. YOU READY? READY? READY TO WALK OUT OF A HUNDRED-STORY WINDOW WITH YOU AND YOUR GRAVITY BOOTS -ONTO AN INVISIBLE SPACESHIP TO MEET-- -UM, THIS MIGHT MAKE IT EASIER. WHOA! OKAY. (SCREAMS) SORRY. OH, SHIT. HOLD TIGHT! AH! (SCREAMING) (GRUNTS) HOLD ON! (SCREAMS) (TYRES SCREECH) WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T LET GO! JUPITER SCREAMS (GRUNTS) AH! (GRUNTING) JUPITER SCREAMS (GRUNTS) JUPITER SCREAMS (SCREAMS) CAR ALARM WAILING SIRENS WAILING LOOK, I JUST-I JUST NEED TO KNOW WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE. THINK WE MIGHT HAVE STUMBLED INTO A WAR WITHIN THE ABRASAX FAMILY. THE ABRASAX FAMILY? IT'S ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL DYNASTIES IN THE UNIVERSE. WELL, I DON'T CARE WHO THEY ARE. YOU CANNOT JUST BLOW UP A BUNCH OF BUILDINGS AND GET AWAY WITH IT. THOSE BUILDINGS WILL BE REBUILT BY TONIGHT. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. TAKE A LOOK. HOLY CRAP. WAIT, BUT A BUNCH OF PEOPLE SAW WHAT HAPPENED. I MEAN, THEY CAN'T COVER THAT UP. YOU HAVE A PICTURE OF A KEEPER ON YOUR PHONE THAT YOU CAN'T REMEMBER TAKING, CAN YOU? THEY BLANKED YOU. SHORT-TERM STUFF IS EASY. THEY WON'T GET EVERYBODY, BUT NO ONE EVER BELIEVES THE ONES THAT SLIP THROUGH THE CRACKS. OH, MY GOD. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? I ASKED TITUS THAT QUESTION BEFORE I TOOK THIS JOB. ALL HE'D TELL ME IS THAT IT WAS PERSONAL. LOOK, THIS IS-THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I HAVE NEVER EVEN MET THIS TITUS, WHAT'S HIS NAME? ABRASAX. THE HOUSE OF ABRASAX HAS THREE PRIMARY HEIRS. THE OLDEST IS BALEM. HE'S THE ONE THAT CONTROLS THIS PLANET AND IS OBVIOUSLY THE ONE WHO WANTS YOU DEAD. NO, NO, NO. THAT'S INSANE. I AM TELLING YOU, I AM NOBODY. BALEM ABRASAX WOULDN'T DEMOLISH AN ENTIRE CITY FOR A NOBODY. KILL HER. WAIT, WAIT. OH, MY GOD! AH, STOP! BEEPING, AIR HISSING (GASPS) THERE YOU ARE. (GASPS) YOU KNOW THERE ARE MOMENTS WHEN I ACTUALLY MISS YOU. (GASPS) BUT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THIS UNIVERSE LIKE YOU DID. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME... LIKE YOU DID. (MOANS) MR. TSKALIKAN? (GROWLS) HOW IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A SINGLE SPLICE TO DESTROY AN ENTIRE FLEET OF SHADOWS? IT WAS A MISTAKE. A MISTAKE? THEY UNDERESTIMATED HIM. THE NEXT MISTAKE... I HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE. (GROWLS) Caine: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I JUST WANT THE OWNER OF THIS CAR TO KNOW WHO BORROWED IT. WE NEEDED A LOW PROFILE TO GET OUT OF THE CITY. OH-OH, MY GOD. YOU'RE BLEEDING. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. IT'S FINE. LUCKY FOR YOU... A WOMAN OWNS THIS CAR. WHAT IS THAT? IS THAT A-- JUST-- I WANNA THANK YOU... FOR SAVING MY LIFE. I MEAN, I'VE... I'VE NEVER BEEN SO SCARED WHEN I STARTED FALLING... THEN YOU WERE THERE, AND... DO YOU DO THIS SORT OF THING A LOT? NO. THEN WHY DID TITUS HIRE YOU? TITUS HIRED ME BECAUSE I'M GOOD AT FINDING PEOPLE. ARE YOU TAKING ME TO HIM NOW? NO. BIRDS CHIRP, BEES BUZZ HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS GUY? (SIGHS) A LONG TIME AGO, HE WAS A FRIEND. WHAT IS HE DOING LIVING WAY OUT HERE? HE'S A MARSHAL FOR THE AEGIS. THE AEGIS? THEY'RE LIKE COPS. SPACE COPS. SURE. INSECTS BUZZING KNOCKING ON DOOR STINGER. WEAPON WARBLES (SIGHS) BACK FROM THE GODDAMN DEAD. IT'S KIND OF FUNNY, BOTH OF US ENDING UP ON THIS PLANET. FUNNY AIN'T THE WORD I'D USE. (GASPS) (GRUNTS) HOW'D YOU GET OUT? TITUS ABRASAX. HE HIRED ME TO LIFT HER. SINCE DEADLAND AIN'T TAUGHT YOU A DAMN THING... JUST AS I WAS GETTING USED TO THIS LIFE, YOU COME BACK REMINDING ME WHAT I FLUSHED DOWN THE SHITTER FOR YOU. (COUGHS) WHERE'S KIZA? SHE USED TO AT LEAST LISTEN TO MY SIDE OF THE STORY. YOU STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER. DON'T DRAG ME INTO YOUR MALE MATING RITUALS. HI. I'M KIZA. HI. JUPITER. NICE TO MEET YOU. YOU USED TO HAVE A LITTLE METTLE IN YOU, KID. I GUESS I'M GETTING A LITTLE OLD. OLD? LOOK AT ME. NOT A RECODE OR A DROP OF JUICE IN YEARS. YOU ARE A LOT UGLIER THAN I REMEMBER. (GRUNTS) HEY! AH! HEY! INSECTS BUZZING WHAT? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? OH. (LAUGHS) (CHUCKLES) YOUR MAJESTY. F INSECT BUZZING (CHUCKLES) YOUR MAJESTY. UH, THANK YOU. I'LL GO TO TOWN TO PICK UP SOME GROCERIES FOR DINNER. (COUGHS) I'LL GO. I'M FINE, DAD. OKAY. ALL RIGHT. LET'S HAVE A LOOK AT YOU. GRUNTS (GASPS) IT'S NOT PRETTY, IS IT? CLIPPED AND STRIPPED. THE MARK OF A COURT-MARTIALLED SKYJACKER. YOU STILL HAVEN'T ANSWERED MY QUESTION. DO YOU WANT YOUR WINGS BACK OR NOT? WAIT, YOU HAD WINGS? THE BEST BIO-NEURAL-SYNAPTIC PROSTHETIC THE MILITARY COULD BUY. (GRUNTS) OH, MY GOD. THAT'S AMAZING. YOUR MAJESTY HAS NO IDEA OF THE SCIENTIFIC MIRACLES THAT HUMAN BEINGS ARE CAPABLE OF. WHY WON'T THOSE HUMAN BEINGS SHARE THINGS LIKE THIS? SHARING HAS NEVER BEEN THE STRONG SUIT OF YOUR SPECIES, YOUR MAJESTY. OKAY, WHAT IS WITH THIS "YOUR MAJESTY" THING? YOU'VE NEVER BEEN STUNG BY A BEE, HAVE YOU? NO. YOU KNOW, BEES ARE GENETICALLY DESIGNED TO RECOGNIZE ROYALTY. ROYALTY? WELL... YOU ARE IN FOR A SURPRISE WHEN YOU FIND OUT WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING. OH, IT'S NOT WHAT YOU DO. IT'S WHAT YOU ARE. THEY SENSE IT. BEES AREN'T LIKE HUMANS. THEY DON'T QUESTION OR DOUBT. BEES DON'T LIE. CELLPHONE RINGS OH, I-- SORRY, I GOTTA TAKE THIS. I'M GUESSING TITUS DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT. NO. (CHUCKLES) IT HAVE SLIPPED HIS MIND. NOT EASY TO PICTURE YOU MAKING A DEAL WITH A ROYAL. TITUS TOLD ME YOU WERE POSTED TO THIS PLANET AND SAID IF I HELPED HIM, HE'D GET YOU YOUR WINGS BACK, FULL REINSTATEMENT. I FIGURED I OWED YOU. YEAH, YOU DO. BUT IF SHE IS A RECURRENCE... THEN THIS IS A HELL OF A LOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN WINGS. VLADIE: It's life changing, Jupiter! Wait till you see this thing. TWO MILLION PIXELS OF RESOLUTION. IT'S EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED. (CHUCKLES) UH, YEAH, NO. THAT-THAT'S GREAT. UM, IS MOM THERE? NO. SHE WENT OUT WITH NINO. LISTEN, THEY WERE A LITTLE FREAKED OUT LAST NIGHT WHEN YOU DIDN'T COME HOME, but I covered. I think it's fine. HOW 'BOUT A LITTLE GRATITUDE FOR YOUR COUSIN VLADIE? I MEAN, THIS THING WAS A CAKEWALK, RIGHT? Yeah, um-- JUST LIKE I SAID. EASIEST MONEY WE EVER MADE. CHA-CHING! IT DIDN'T HAPPEN. OH-HO. DIDN'T HAPPEN. WHAT? No, I know. I'm so sorry. OH, NO. I'm really, really sorry. Why? UH, THERE WAS AN ACCIDENT AT THE CLINIC. Someone got hurt. SHIT! I KNEW IT! OH, MY GOD, I KNEW IT. I CAN'T CATCH A BREAK. I cannot catch a single break! UM, LOOK, VLADIE, I'M WITH SOME PEOPLE. I-I d-don't wanna be rude. WAIT, JUPITER, WE HAVE TO RESCHEDULE. TOTALLY. SO, JUST TELL MOM I'M OKAY and I will call her when I can. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! JUPE, JUPE-- I ALREADY SPENT THE MONEY. YOU'RE IN TROUBLE. YOU'RE IN TROUBLE. DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF! WARBLING, BEEPING BALEM ORDERED A BLOCKADE. NOTHING IS GETTING ON OR OFF THIS PLANET. BUT AEGIS COMMAND SAID ONCE HER GENEPRINT IS VERIFIED, THEY'LL GET AN INJUNCTION TO TAKE US TO OROUS. SO WE WAIT. THEY'RE SENDING A CRUISER. WHEN? SHOULD BE HERE TOMORROW. WE WON'T LAST THE NIGHT. WE NEED A PLAN. WE NEED FIREPOWER. IF SHE'S WHAT YOU SAY SHE IS, WE'RE NOT GETTING OFF THIS PLANET WITHOUT A FIGHT. STASH IS IN THE BACK. IS HE MAD AT ME? WHEN HE'S MAD, YOU'LL KNOW IT. HE JUST... SEEMS DIFFERENT SINCE WE GOT HERE. CAINE IS... COMPLICATED. HE'S A LYCANTANT WITHOUT A PACK. HAD THE BAD LUCK TO BE BORN HALF-ALBINO. RUNT OF THE LITTER. THE SPLICER THAT BRED HIM HAD TO SELL HIM TO THE LEGION FOR A LOSS. BUT A LYCANTANT NEEDS A PACK. IT'S THEIR CENTRE OF GRAVITY. ALONE, USUALLY THEY WASTE AWAY AND DIE, UNLESS THEY BECOME LIKE HIM. FEARLESS. RELENTLESS. PERFECT HUNTING MACHINES. CAINE WAS THE BEST SOLDIER I EVER WENT INTO BATTLE WITH. WHY DID HE GET COURT MARTIALLED? I'M SORRY. IF IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS. YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME. OH, HE ATTACKED SOMEONE. HE ATTACKED AN ENTITLED. HE BIT HIM. HE BIT HIM? TORE HIS THROAT OUT. THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THE ROYALS FOR CAINE. IT'S INSTINCTUAL. THEY TRIED TO PUT HIM DOWN, BUT HE WAS UNDER MY COMMAND SO I TOOK THE BLAME. TWO SCARS ACROSS MY BACK AS A REWARD. (SIGHS) INSECTS BUZZING POWER CHARGES LIGHT BEEPING YOU KNOW, YOU BOTH HAVE MARKS ON YOUR NECK, BUT THEY'RE SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT. THE BRAND OF THE SPLICER. MARCELLIAN CAHUN WAS HER NAME. SHE LOVED BEES. WOW. MY FATHER WOULD BE FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW. (CHUCKLES) DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS WILL DO TO PEOPLE WHEN THEY FIND OUT THE TRUTH? I DON'T THINK THAT MOST PEOPLE WOULD WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH. I DO. (CHUCKLES) OKAY. SO, YOU'VE BEEN TAUGHT THAT THE BIRTHPLACE OF THE HUMAN RACE IS EARTH, BUT IT'S NOT. IT'S ACTUALLY A PLANET IN THE CUNABULUM SYSTEM CALLED OROUS, A LITTLE OVER A BILLION OF YOUR YEARS AGO. YOUR PLANET WAS DISCOVERED DURING WHAT IS COMMONLY CALLED THE GREAT EXPANSION. AH. (BLOWS) AT THE TIME, EARTH WAS INHABITED BY A BRANCH-SPECIES OF SAURISAPIAN, A DANGEROUS HUMAN PREDATOR CALLED THE SARGORN. OBVIOUSLY BEFORE ANY COLONIZATION OR RESOURCE DEVELOPMENT COULD BE DONE SAFELY TO YOUR PLANET, A LARGE-SCALE EXTINCTION EVENT WAS MANUFACTURED-- ELECTRICITY CRACKLES DAMN BUDGET CUTS. OBJECT CLANKS ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT DINOSAURS? MM-HM. WAIT, ARE YOU SAYING YOUR PEOPLE KILLED THE DINOSAURS? TECHNICALLY, THEY'RE YOUR PEOPLE, MAJESTY. CHATTERING ACCORDING TO COMMONWEALTH RECORDS, THIS PLANET WAS SEEDED BY ABRASAX INDUSTRIES ROUGHLY 100,000 YEARS AGO. HUMAN DNA SPLICED WITH INDIGENOUS SPECIES TO EVOLVE A FERTILE POPULATION. AND THAT'S WHERE THE "WHY" GETS UGLY. BASICALLY, THE GOAL IS TO GROW A POPULATION AS LARGE AS POSSIBLE. ONCE THE POPULATION EXCEEDS THE PLANET'S ABILITY TO SUSTAIN IT, IT'S CONSIDERED RIPE FOR HARVEST. HARVEST? INSECTS BUZZING WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEM? THEY'RE HERE. GO. COME ON. WHAT? CAINE? WAIT, CAINE! AH. CAINE! (GRUNTS) GLASS SHATTERS BEESWAX. GOTCHA. INSECTS BUZZING (GASPS) GRUNTING CHATTERING (GASPS) HIGH-PITCHED RINGING ALIENS CHATTERING (YELLS) (GRUNTS) D MR. NIGHT, I WANT THIS FACILITY RUNNING AT CAPACITY. I WANT FULL DIAGNOSTICS AND COST PROJECTIONS FOR AN EARLY HARVEST. OF COURSE, MY LORD. WHAT KIND OF GRADE ARE WE GETTING FROM THE SKIM? EXCELLENT PRODUCT, SIRE. PREMIUM GRADE. IT'S A, UM, PARTICULARLY ROBUST STOCK. ASSUMING MARKET STABILITY, IF WE HARVEST LATER THIS CENTURY, PROFIT MARGINS SHOULD ECLIPSE YOUR NEAREST COMPETITOR. UNDERSTAND THIS, MR. NIGHT. I WILL HARVEST THAT PLANET TOMORROW BEFORE I LET HER TAKE IT FROM ME. HERE WE GO. I TRUST YOU. CHOIR SINGING DRAMATICALLY (PANTING) PREMIUM ABRASAX, AS REQUESTED. NOW... WHERE IS HER MAJESTY? (GASPS LIGHTLY) (GASPS) Sendi: GOOD EVENING, YOUR MAJESTY. (GASPS) ALLOW ME TO ASSIST. OH. Gasping: OH. I AM SENDI, YOUR CHAMBER PRESENCE. NEW CLOTHES? WE WISH ONLY TO ATTEND YOUR NEEDS. WHERE AM I? THIS IS THE ALCAZAR OF KALIQUE ABRASAX, SECOND PRIMARY OF THE HOUSE OF ABRASAX. WHAT'S AN ALCAZAR? A FANCY WAY OF SAYING MY HOME. I'M KALIQUE. JUPITER JONES. I'M SORRY FOR STARING, BUT IT'S REALLY QUITE ASTONISHING. WHAT IS? IT WILL BE EASIER TO SHOW YOU. COULD THIS GET ANY WEIRDER? IMAGINE IT FOR ME. MEETING YOUR MOTHER LONG AFTER SHE'S PASSED AWAY. BUT I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER. YOUR PLANET IS JUST NOW ENTERING ITS GENETIC AGE. YOU UNDERSTAND VERY LITTLE ABOUT SOMETHING WHICH IS A VITAL PART OF OUR REALITY. IN OUR WORLD, GENES HAVE AN ALMOST SPIRITUAL SIGNIFICANCE. THEY ARE THE SEEDS OF OUR IMMORTALITY. WHEN THE EXACT SAME GENES REAPPEAR IN THE EXACT SAME ORDER, IT IS FOR US WHAT YOU WOULD CALL REINCARNATION. BUT HOW COULD I BE A REINCARNATION OF YOUR MOTHER UNLESS YOUR MOTHER WAS FROM EARTH? MY MOTHER WAS BORN BEFORE YOUR FIRST CITIES WERE BUILT. ARE YOU SOME KIND OF VAMPIRE RACE? (CHUCKLES) WE ARE THE CAUSE OF A LOT OF THOSE MYTHS, BUT I PROMISE MY MOTHER WAS JUST AS HUMAN AS YOU OR I. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US IS OUR KNOWLEDGE AND TECHNOLOGY. HOW OLD DO YOU THINK I AM? UM...LATE FORTIES? I RECENTLY CELEBRATED MY FOURTEENTH MILLENNIUM. YOU'RE FOURTEEN THOUSAND YEARS OLD? FOURTEEN THOUSAND AND FOUR, TO BE PRECISE. MY MOTHER WAS APPROACHING HER NINETY-FIRST MILLENNIUM WHEN SHE PASSED. I-I-- YOU'D BE JUST AS AMAZED HOW QUICKLY IT GOES. IF YOUR LIVES ARE SO LONG, COULD I ASK YOU HOW YOUR MOTHER ACTUALLY DIED? SHE WAS MURDERED. OH, GOD, I'M SO SORRY. DID THEY EVER FIND OUT WHO DID IT? NO. MY MOTHER AND I DID NOT ALWAYS GET ALONG. BUT I HAVE A HOPE THAT THIS RECURRENCE MIGHT MEAN A SECOND CHANCE FOR BOTH OF US. (CHUCKLES) COME. LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO THE POSSIBILITIES OF YOUR NEW LIFE. (SNIFFS) THUNDER CRASHES BEEPING THUNDER CRASHES AHH. HOLY CRAP. EACH OF US HAS A CODE FOR OUR OPTIMAL PHYSICAL CONDITION. THE PROBLEM IS OUR GENES HAVE AN EXPIRATION DATE, WHICH IS TRANSFERRED TO OUR CELLS. A LONG TIME AGO, SOMEONE FIGURED OUT HOW TO REPLACE DETERIORATING CELLS WITH NEW ONES. TODAY, IT'S AS EASY AS CHANGING A LIGHT BULB. WHERE DO YOU GET THESE LIGHT BULBS? YOU GROW THEM. LIKE CLONES? NO. (CHUCKLES) CLONES LACK GENETIC PLASTICITY. SEVERAL MILLION YEARS AGO, A GENE PLAGUE CAUSED BY CLONING NEARLY ANNIHILATED THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE. I-I WAS TOLD THAT THE HOUSE OF ABRASAX SEEDED THE EARTH. IS THAT WHERE YOU GET IT? YOUR EARTH IS A VERY SMALL PART OF A VERY LARGE INDUSTRY. FEEL MY SKIN. OH, WOW. IN YOUR WORLD, PEOPLE ARE USED TO FIGHTING FOR RESOURCES, LIKE OIL, OR MINERALS, OR LAND. BUT WHEN YOU HAVE ACCESS TO THE VASTNESS OF SPACE, YOU REALIZE THERE'S ONLY ONE RESOURCE WORTH FIGHTING OVER... EVEN KILLING FOR: MORE TIME. TIME IS THE SINGLE MOST PRECIOUS COMMODITY IN THE UNIVERSE. UNIDENTIFIED LYCANTANT. UNIDENTIFIED LYCANTANT. SO, SORRY, I-I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN WHEN YOU SAY, "CLAIM YOUR TITLE." WELL, IT'S COMMON FOR PEOPLE IN THE FIRST ESTATE TO LEAVE A TRUST FOR ANY POTENTIAL RECURRENCE. MY MOTHER WROTE HER FUTURE SELF INTO HER WILL. RIGHT NOW, BALEM OWNS THE TITLE TO EARTH, BUT... ONCE YOU CLAIM IT, THE EARTH WILL BELONG TO YOU. HOW CAN ONE PERSON OWN THE EARTH? (CHUCKLES) IT'S JUST A PLANET, JUPITER. IN THIS WORLD, PEOPLE OWN THINGS FAR MORE VALUABLE. YOU CANNOT KNOW RIGHT NOW WHAT IT WILL BE LIKE WHEN YOU'RE OFFERED WEALTH BEYOND YOUR IMAGINING. WHEN YOU CAN CHOOSE TO REMAIN YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL, OR WHEN YOU CAN HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE THE LIVES OF YOUR FAMILY FOR THE BETTER. AND ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS CLOSE YOUR EYES. CAINE?! AH, THIS MUST BE THE HUNTER TITUS HIRED. WELL-MADE, BY THE LOOK OF HIM. WHOA, NO, NO, NO, NO! HEY, HEY! IT'S OKAY. SHE'S ON OUR SIDE. ABRASAX DON'T KNOW ANY SIDE BUT THEIR OWN. PRECISELY. AND SINCE JUPITER IS AN ABRASAX, YOU CAN UNDERSTAND WHY I HELPED HER GET OFF THAT PLANET. HE HAS CONTACTED THE AEGIS. THEY ARE ENTERING ORBIT NOW. EXCELLENT. (CHUCKLES) I HAD PLANNED TO TAKE YOU MYSELF, BUT THE AEGIS WILL UNDOUBTEDLY INSIST THEY HANDLE THINGS FROM HERE. I WISH FOR YOU THE LIFE YOU'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF. Tsing: WELCOME ABOARD, YOUR MAJESTY. MY NAME IS DIOMIKA TSING. I'M THE CAPTAIN OF THIS AEGIS CRUISER. PLEASE, CALL ME JUPE. YOUR MAJESTY. STINGER! YOU'RE ALL RIGHT! OH! FOR THE TIME BEING, YOUR MAJESTY. THE TIME BEING. WE'LL BE ESCORTING YOU TO THE COMMONWEALTH MINISTRY ON OROUS. IF THERE'S ANYTHING WE CAN DO TO MAKE THE JOURNEY EASIER, YOU LET US KNOW. ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M FEELING A LITTLE OVERDRESSED, SO IF YOU MAYBE HAVE SOMETHING THAT I COULD CHANGE INTO? UH, BY MYSELF. WHILE I'M AWAKE. WHAT? NO, NO! LORD BALEM! IT WAS THE HUNTERS! THEY BETRAYED YOU IN THE NAME OF YOUR SISTER! PLEASE! MERCY, MY LORD! MERCY! AH! MR. GREEGHAN. (GROWLS) BRING HER TO ME. YES, MY LORD. BELL DINGS LIGHTLY OH, C-COME IN! I DON'T REALLY... OH, I DON'T REALLY KNOW HOW TO WORK THIS THING. OH, HI. COME IN. YOUR MAJESTY MIGHT WANT TO TAKE A FEW OF THESE. PORTALING CAN BE A LITTLE ROUGH ON THE ROYAL BOWELS. OH. WELL, MY BOWELS ARE ANYTHING BUT ROYAL. (CHUCKLES) THANK YOU. (INHALES) YOU HEARD THE LADY DOWN THERE. YOU'RE AN ABRASAX NOW. NO, NO, I AM A JONES. WELL, EXCEPT WHEN I'M MAD, THEN I'M A BOLOTNIKOV. (CHUCKLES) IF THAT'S ALL YOU WERE, YOU WOULD NOT BE ON AN AEGIS CRUISER HEADED TO THE HALL OF TITLES. (INHALES) YEAH, UM... STINGER SAID THAT YOU ATTACKED AN ENTITLED ONCE. STINGER TALKS TOO MUCH. IS IT TRUE? DOES IT MATTER? UH, SORRY, I GET IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS. I WAS JUST TRYING TO UNDERSTAND. LOOK, THE TRUTH IS, UH, I DON'T KNOW WHY I DID IT. I... I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER DOING IT. IT JUST HAPPENED. WE ALL DO THINGS WE CAN'T EXPLAIN. THEY SAID IT WAS... IN MY GENES. A...DEFECT OF MY GENOMGINEERING. (CHUCKLES) COULD EXPLAIN A LOT OF THINGS ABOUT ME. LIKE THE FACT THAT I HAVE AN UNCANNY ABILITY TO FALL FOR MEN THAT DON'T FALL FOR ME. IT'S LIKE MY INTERNAL COMPASS NEEDLE POINTS STRAIGHT AT MR. WRONG. MAYBE IT'S MY GENES. (CHUCKLES) MAYBE I HAVE DEFECTIVE ENGINEERING TOO. AND IF THAT'S THE CASE... IS THERE ANY WAY TO FIX IT? YOU ARE ROYALTY NOW. I'M A SPLICE. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS, BUT... I HAVE MORE IN COMMON WITH A DOG THAN I HAVE WITH YOU. I LOVE DOGS. I'VE ALWAYS LOVED DOGS. I SHOULD GO, YOUR MAJESTY. RIGHT. YOU NEED TO STRAP IN BEFORE WE PORTAL. RIGHT, OKAY. "I LOVE DOGS?" HUH. (GROANS) C MAJESTIC MUSIC PLAYS Phylo: WELCOME, YOUR MAJESTY, TO THE OVERPOPULATED, OOZING CESSPOOL WE HUMBLY CALL "HOME." I DID THREE TOURS IN ABUKESH, A BATTLE THAT COST THE LIVES OF TWO MILLION SOLDIERS, AND I'D RATHER BE BACK THERE THAN HAVE TO DEAL WITH THESE BUREAUCRATS. GREETINGS, YOUR MAJESTY. I AM INTERGALACTIC ADVOCATE BOB, HERE TO ASSIST YOU THROUGH THE ASCENSION PROCESS. BELL DINGS SHEAVE. THIS IS THE AUTHENTIC RECURRENCE OF HER LADYSHIP THE ABRASAX SOVEREIGN, AND WE HAVE COME TO CLAIM HER TITLE. YOU NEED TO FILE AN INHERITANCE PETITION, AND IF THE TITLE IS HELD, YOU'LL NEED A TRANSFER OF TITLE. THANK YOU. FILE A QUIT CLAIM THROUGH CENTRAL SERVICES, SECTION NINE-EIGHTEEN. NEXT. YOU NEED A TITLE SURVEY AND GENEPRINT IDENTIFICATION FROM WILLS AND TRUSTS. ELECTRICITY CRACKLES HM. YEAH, I CAN'T TOUCH THIS WITHOUT A TAX NUMBER FROM THE REVENUE REVIEW. (SHUDDERS) THIS IS REVENUE REQUEST, NOT REVENUE REVIEW. OH. WE CAN'T GET THE TITLE WITHOUT THE TAX I.D. IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING THAT GRAFT IS INCOMPATIBLE WITH MY PROGRAMMING. I THINK YOU DROPPED SOMETHING. PRESS YOUR THUMB IN THE DEPRESSION. DEVICE CHIRPING SEALS AND SIGNETS ARE ON SUB-THIRTY-THREE. YOUR MAJESTY. (CLEARS THROAT) (MUMBLES) WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL. THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH. BELL DINGS (MUMBLES) (COUGHING) (PANTING) CREAKING AND CLANKING (CHUCKLES) ELECTRICITY CRACKLES OH, YEAH. HUH? (CHUCKLES) DEVICE WHIRRING YEAH, VERY NICE. WOULD YOUR MAJESTY KINDLY PLACE YOUR WRIST HERE? UH, YES. UH-HUH. PALM UP, PLEASE. SORRY. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. WHIRRING OH. VERY GOOD. YES! OKAY. IT'S COOL. VER-VERY NICE. VERY, VERY NICE INDEED. NOW, HERE IS YOUR CODE AND CONDUCT GUIDE AND YOUR ROYAL WAYS AND MEANS COMMISSION. MM-HM. AND FILE THIS WITH A LEGION ADMINISTRATOR FOR YOUR ROYAL GUARD APPOINTMENT. YES? OKAY. WELL, CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR MAJESTY... AND MY DEEPEST CONDOLENCES. THANK YOU? (LAUGHS) I WILL NEVER COMPLAIN ABOUT THE DMV... EVER AGAIN. WELL, YOU DID IT. IT'S OFFICIAL. YOU ARE NOW ENTITLED. ENTITLED TO WHAT? LIKE, FREE PARKING? KEY TO THE CITY? I MEAN, WHAT DOES IT EVEN REALLY MEAN? IT MEANS YOUR MAJESTY'S LIFE IS GONNA CHANGE... IF SHE WANTS IT TO. CAN YOU SAY THAT AGAIN? JUST THE "YOUR MAJESTY" PART. YOUR MAJESTY. THAT'S INTERESTING. WHEN OTHER PEOPLE SAY IT, IT MAKES ME REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE. BUT WHEN YOU SAY IT... (SIGHS) I DON'T KNOW. I WILL ADMIT THERE ARE THINGS ABOUT MY LIFE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO CHANGE, BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME A DIFFERENT PERSON. IT DOESN'T-- IT DOESN'T CHANGE THE THINGS THAT MATTER TO ME, OR WHO I CARE ABOUT. I'M STILL THE SAME ME. IF YOUR MAJESTY SAYS SO. WELL, YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE ENTITLED INSTINCT. IS THERE SOMETHING HAPPENING TO YOU RIGHT NOW? DOES ANY PART OF YOU WANNA BITE ME? NO. WELL, MAYBE. GO AHEAD. HOW CAN YOUR MAJESTY BE SO SURE... IF, AS YOU'VE SAID, YOUR "COMPASS IS BROKEN"? TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG. YOU USED TO WORK FOR TITUS, BUT THAT'S NOT TRUE ANYMORE. SO, WHY STICK AROUND? WHY HELP ME? BECAUSE OF STINGER. HE THINKS IF WE HELP YOU, THEN YOU MIGHT HELP US GET BACK IN THE LEGION. I SEE. GOOD TO KNOW WE'RE BOTH LIARS. WHAT IS THIS? SORRY. HELLO, MR. WISE. DON'T MAKE THIS HARDER THAN IT HAS TO BE. I'M SORRY, MAN. Titus: WELCOME, YOUR MAJESTY. I AM TITUS ABRASAX, THIRD PRIMARY OF THE HOUSE OF ABRASAX, AND IT IS MY PROFOUND HONOUR... ...TO MEET YOU. YOU ARE AWARE THAT BY DETAINING ME WITHOUT CONSENT, YOU ARE IN DIRECT VIOLATION OF STATUTE TWENTY-SEVEN-B-STROKE-SIX. YOUR HIGHNESS IS A QUICK STUDY OF THE ENTITLED CODE, I SEE. I ALSO KNOW THAT I CAN FILE A TAX GRIEVANCE AGAINST YOU UNLESS YOU TAKE ME DIRECTLY WHERE I WANT TO GO. I'D BE DELIGHTED TO TAKE YOU WHEREVER YOU'D LIKE. I'D LIKE TO GO HOME. VERY WELL. SET A COURSE FOR EARTH. AT ONCE, MY LORD. IN THE MEANTIME, SINCE YOU'VE INVOKED CODE AND CONDUCT, I TRUST YOU'LL DO ME THE HONOUR OF DINING WITH ME THIS EVENING. VERY WELL. THE AEGIS IS INVOLVED NOW, MORE THAN LIKELY TRACKING YOU AS WE SPEAK. WE'VE COMMITTED NO CRIME. HOW 'BOUT DETAINING A ROYAL? HER MAJESTY IS... HARDLY DETAINED. WHERE IS SHE? DINING WITH LORD TITUS, OF COURSE. UNLESS THEY'VE MOVED ON TO DESSERT. YOUR HIGHNESS LOOKS RAVISHING. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH CAINE? I KNOW YOU DO NOT TRUST ME RIGHT NOW, BUT I PROMISE I AM NOT YOUR ENEMY. (SCOFFS) PLEASE. MR. WISE AND I HAD AN ARRANGEMENT. HE BROKE OUR CONTRACT. FOR THAT, I PROMISED TO RETURN HIM TO THE DEADLAND. IS THAT OPEN TO NEGOTIATION? EVERYTHING IS OPEN TO NEGOTIATION. (GRUNTS) (COUGHS) F I CONFESS I FEEL I HAVE YOU AT SOMEWHAT OF A DISADVANTAGE. IS IT BECAUSE YOU KIDNAPPED ME? (CHUCKLES) FROM THE MOMENT I SAW YOUR GENEPRINT, I KNEW SO MANY THINGS ABOUT YOU BECAUSE I WAS VERY CLOSE TO MY MOTHER. SO CLOSE, IN FACT, THAT I COULD TELL BY THE WAY SHE RAISED HER EYEBROWS EXACTLY WHAT SHE WAS THINKING. AT THIS POINT, I PROBABLY KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU THAN YOU KNOW YOURSELF. WELL, SHOOT. JUST LIKE HER, ALWAYS EXPECTING THE WORST FROM PEOPLE. FUNNY HOW OFTEN PEOPLE EXCEED THOSE EXPECTATIONS. THAT DISTRUST IN OTHERS, IN THE WORLD AND EVEN IN YOURSELF, HAS MADE IT DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO FALL IN LOVE. UNTIL NOW. YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH MR. WISE, AREN'T YOU? I'M SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU, BUT THIS ISN'T LOVE. ALL MR. WISE WANTS FROM ME IS TO MAKE HIM A LEGIONNAIRE AGAIN. MOTHER WAS ALSO A TERRIBLE LIAR. YOUR SISTER DID TELL ME THAT YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING IN YOUR POWER TO PREVENT ME FROM CLAIMING MY TITLE. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK KALIQUE TOLD YOU THE TRUTH? WHY WOULD SHE LIE? KALIQUE IS IN COMPETITION WITH BALEM. SHE KNOWS THAT THE LOSS OF THE EARTH WILL REDUCE HIS YIELD AND IMPACT HIS POSITION IN THE MARKET. HIS LOSS IS HER GAIN. SAME CAN BE SAID FOR YOU. NOT LONG AGO, YES. I WOULD HAVE BEEN JUST LIKE THEM. AND NOW? I KNEW THIS MOMENT WOULD COME WHEN YOUR GENEPRINT WAS FIRST CONFIRMED. I KNEW THAT WHEN IT DID, I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU ONE QUESTION, AND IF YOU GAVE ME THE RIGHT ANSWER, I WAS GOING TO CHANGE MY LIFE, IRREVOCABLY. COME WITH ME. (GASPS) Jupiter: WHAT IS THAT? IT HAS MANY NAMES. ReGenX, ReCell, NECTAR. THERE ARE VARIOUS LEVELS OF USEFULNESS AND QUALITY, BUT THIS IS THE MOST PURE AND MOST VALUABLE SOLUTION MADE BY THE HOUSE OF ABRASAX. KALIQUE CAME OUT OF A BATH. NATURALLY, MY SISTER DIDN'T EXPLAIN WHAT IT IS OR WHERE IT COMES FROM. IT COMES FROM PEOPLE. EACH UNIT IS REFINED FROM APPROXIMATELY A HUNDRED HUMAN BEINGS. WHAT? YOUR PLANET IS A FARM, JUPITER. THERE ARE THOUSANDS OF PLANETS LIKE YOURS SET UP BY FAMILIES LIKE MINE TO SUPPLY AN EVER INCREASING DEMAND FOR MORE TIME. ARE YOU SAYING YOU KILLED A HUNDRED PEOPLE TO MAKE THIS? NOT ME, BUT, YES, SOMEONE DID. NOT UNLIKE BUTCHERING A HERD OF CATTLE. (GASPS) GLASS SHATTERS OH, MY GOD. IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S ALL RIGHT. MY MOTHER WENT THROUGH A PROFOUND CHANGE AT THE END OF HER LIFE. SHE FELT EXACTLY AS YOU DO NOW. BUT WHEN SHE TRIED TO DO SOMETHING TO STOP THIS BUSINESS, SHE WAS MURDERED. I BELIEVE THE SAME THING IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN TO ME BECAUSE I BEGAN TO CARRY OUT THE WORK SHE STARTED. THAT IS WHY I HIRED MR. WISE TO FIND YOU. I NEEDED SOMEONE I COULD TRUST. I CANNOT ALLOW MY BROTHER OR SISTER TO END UP WITH CONTROL OVER MY PART OF THE ABRASAX INHERITANCE. I WANT TO KNOW THAT WHEN I DIE... YOU WILL BE MY HEIR. WHICH BRINGS US AT LAST TO MY QUESTION. JUPITER JONES... (GASPS) ...WILL YOU MARRY ME? A PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU, MR. APINI. I TOLD YOUR MEN NOT TO TAKE CAINE. YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT HIM ON OROUS. UNFORTUNATELY, MY LORD PROMISED MR. WISE THAT IF HE BETRAYED US HE'D BE FED TO THE VOID. TITUS ABRASAX IS A MAN OF HIS WORD. SO WAS I. Gemma: WE GOT THE TRACE. OUTSIDE THE CLEOPEIDES. BETTER GET A MOVE ON. DON'T SOUND LIKE CAINE'S GOT A LOT OF TIME. PUT HIM BACK IN THE BRIG. FOOTSTEPS APPROACH LORD TITUS WILL SEE YOU NOW. YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME THE TRUTH ABOUT WHY YOU WANTED HER. WHAT GOOD WOULD THAT HAVE DONE? IF I DID, THEN JUPITER WOULD BE DEAD AND BALEM WOULD STILL OWN THE EARTH. LIES ARE A NECESSITY. THEY ARE THE SOURCE OF MEANING, OF BELIEF AND HOPE. HONESTLY, LIES ARE SOMETIMES THE ONLY REASON I GET OUT OF BED. I'M PARTICULARLY FOND OF THE LIES WE TELL OURSELVES. LIKE THE LIE YOU ARE NOW CONCOCTING THAT SOMEHOW YOU'LL SURVIVE BEING TOSSED INTO THE VOID AND FIND SOME WAY TO RESCUE MS. JONES. YOU CAN'T KILL HER. THE TITLE WILL JUST REMAIN WITH HER FAMILY. WELL, NOT ONCE HER MAJESTY AND I ARE MARRIED. (STRAINING) (PANTING) Woman: EMERGENCY PRESSURIZATION COMPLETE. YOU HAVE 37 MINUTES OF AIR REMAINING. (PANTING) PLEASE GET TO AN AIRLOCK OR LIFE POD IMMEDIATELY. YOU DID WHAT?! SHAME ON YOU! WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU CONVINCED YOUR COUSIN TO SELL HER EGGS? OH. YEAH? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK SHE IS, A GODDAMN CHICKEN? NO, WAIT, DAD! DAD, DAD! VASSILY, THAT'S ENOUGH! SHE WANTED TO DO IT! AAH! SHE WANTED TO DO IT. IT WASN'T ALL MY PLAN! YOU LITTLE SHIT, VLADIE! SHE BEGGED ME. SHE WANTED TO BUY SOME STUPID TELESCOPE. THE DEAL WASN'T EVEN VERY GOOD FOR ME. (GASPS) TELESCOPE? IT'S A CURSE. OUR FAMILY IS CURSED. Vassily: I DON'T CARE WHAT SHE WANTED! YOU DON'T TREAT YOUR COUSIN LIKE CHICKEN! RATTLING ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ALL SCREAMING (ROARS) ALL SCREAMING (GROWLS) (GROWLS) YOU'RE THE MOTHER. BE GENTLE WITH THIS ONE. YOU HAVE ZERO MINUTES OF AIR REMAINING. CARBON DIOXIDE LEVELS AT MAXIMUM. PLEASE GET TO AN AIRLOCK OR LIFE POD IMMEDIATELY. IS HE ALIVE? A FEW TICKS LATER AND HE WOULDN'T BE. HE'S GONNA KILL HER. HE'S GONNA KILL HER! IS THERE A PROBLEM? NO, I'M SO SORRY, I-I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THIS. I TOLD YOU NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT LIKE A WEDDING ON YOUR WORLD. IT'S JUST A CONTRACT IN ORDER TO PROTECT PEOPLE. INNOCENT PEOPLE. I KNOW, I GET THAT, I DO. I WISH I COULD SHOW YOU THE FOUR SMALL PLANETS I INHERITED. NOTHING AS LARGE AS YOUR EARTH, BUT EACH UNIQUE AND BEAUTIFUL IN ITS OWN WAY. I'D LOVE TO SEE THEM ONE DAY, BUT... RIGHT NOW, I NEED TO SPEAK TO CAINE. I SEE. YOU STILL DON'T TRUST ME. EVEN THOUGH YOU TRUST THE MAN I HIRED. I'M SORRY, BUT TALKING TO MR. WISE IS NO LONGER POSSIBLE. WHY? HE ATTACKED A SERVITANT AND DESTROYED A HOST OF GUARDS. GIVEN HIS HISTORY, I WAS ADVISED TO RETURN HIM TO THE AUTHORITIES. YOU DO KNOW WHAT HE DID, DON'T YOU? AND YOU STILL TRUST HIM. BEAUTY AND HER BEAST. WHY WOULDN'T YOU TELL ME SOONER? (SIGHS) SO YOU CAN PLEAD FOR THIS. THE ORIGINAL RITE OF PARDON AND REINSTATEMENT MY LAWYERS PROCURED FOR HIM AND MR. APINI. I KEPT IT, KNOWING HOW YOU FELT, EVEN IF YOU WOULDN'T ADMIT IT. TO BE FAIR, THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I WOULD HAVE USED SOMETHING LIKE THIS AGAINST YOU. BUT NOW IF YOU CAN BELIEVE ANYTHING, JUPITER, YOU CAN BELIEVE THAT THE LIFE OF ONE SPLICE MATTERS VERY LITTLE TO ME COMPARED TO THE LIVES OF MY SUBJECTS. GOODBYE, MISS JONES. TITUS. I'LL DO IT. THANK YOU. You're retired, so these days, everybody travels to you. Maybe you only do school runs. You work from home, so drive mostly on the weekend. At Youi, we tailor your insurance premium to how you use or don't use your car. It could save you lots. Call: D UH-OH. I NEED YOUR HELP. SURE YOU WANT TO GO INTO A FIGHT WITH SOMEONE YOU CAN'T TRUST? HAS ANYONE IN YOUR CREW EVER BROKE THROUGH A FIELD OF WARHAMMERS? WHAT HAPPENED? KIZA'S GOT THE BUG. COULDN'T AFFORD THE RECODE. I LOVE MY DAUGHTER, CAINE. SHE'S THE ONLY GOOD THING I'VE DONE WITH THIS LIFE. YOU WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME. ARE THERE ANY OTHER FAMILY ISSUES THAT I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT? NO. LOANS? MONEY PROBLEMS? UM, NO. HE'S GOOD. LET'S GO. CHEERS AND APPLAUSE OH! HOLY CRAP. PORTAL AT MASS. NINE TICKS TO INTERCEPT. Gemma: ABRASAX CLIPPER D-GAMMA-NINE, THIS IS THE AEGIS. CUT YOUR ENGINES AND PREPARE TO BE BOARDED. THE AEGIS ARE DEMANDING TO BOARD, SIRE. DO WHAT YOU MUST, BUT KEEP THEM OFF THIS SHIP. WARHAMMERS ARE LAUNCHING. HERE WE GO. YOUR HIGHNESS. WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE? JUST SIMS. A NECESSARY FEATURE FOR ALL ROYAL WEDDINGS. AS I TOLD YOU, THESE ARE MATTERS OF STATE, NOT OF THE HEART. SHALL WE BEGIN? LET'S HIT IT! (GRUNTS) I, TITUS ABRASAX, TAKE JUPITER JONES TO BE MY WIFE. I ENTER INTO THIS UNION BEING OF SOUND MIND AND OF MY OWN VOLITION. WOULD MY LIEGE PLACE HIS HAND HERE... TO RECEIVE THE SIGNIFYING BOND? BREAK LEFT, I'M GOING RIGHT! (GRUNTS) I'M HIT! YOUR TURN. WHERE ARE YOU AT, STINGER? Stinger: I'VE LOST A WING PLATE! I GOT YOU! ROLL, ROLL, ROLL, ROLL, ROLL! (GRUNTS) I, JUPITER JONES, TAKE TITUS ABRASAX TO BE MY HUSBAND. "I ENTER INTO THIS UNION BEING..." I ENTER INTO THIS UNION... BEING OF SOUND MIND AND OF MY OWN VOLITION. (GRUNTING) WE'RE CLEAR! Officiant: WOULD YOUR MAJESTY PLACE HER HAND HERE... TO RECEIVE THE SIGNIFYING BOND? LIGHT BEEPING I'M TRACKING HEAVY SIM ACTIVITY. THAT'S GOTTA BE WHERE SHE IS. COVER ME! ALL GASP WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT WAS THAT? (GRUNTS) NO. (GRUNTS) CAINE? (GROWLS) WHOA. MR. WISE, YOU ARE AS RESOURCEFUL AS PROMISED. THIS WHOLE THING WAS NOTHING BUT A LIE. (SIGHS) WAS THE RING EXECUTED? NO. ONCE YOU WERE MARRIED HE WAS GOING TO MURDER YOU. HE TOLD ME RIGHT BEFORE HE THREW ME OUT THE AIRLOCK. (SIGHS) HONESTLY, I DON'T BELIEVE MY MOTHER WAS EVER AS BEAUTIFUL, OR AS GULLIBLE AS YOU, MY DEAR. MAY I KILL HIM? JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE. YOUR MAJESTY? PLEASE, DON'T CALL ME THAT. TITUS WILL PAY. CAPTAIN TSING HAS ALREADY FILED-- I DON'T CARE. THE MORE YOU CARE, THE MORE THE WORLD FINDS WAYS TO HURT YOU FOR IT. THAT'S YOUR PARDON. CONGRATULATIONS. YOU AND STINGER ARE OFFICIALLY SKYJACKERS AGAIN. THANK YOU. WHEN WE WERE IN THE COMMONWEALTH-- I DON'T WANNA TALK. I REALLY JUST WANNA GO HOME. MOM? (GASPS) OH, GOD, NO. (GASPS) NINO?! Mr. Night: GOOD EVENING, YOUR MAJESTY. EASY, DINGO. WHERE'S MY FAMILY? WELL, WE CAN ALL ONLY HOPE THAT THEY REMAIN UNHARMED. (CHUCKLES) (GRUNTS) I SEE YOU HAVE THE STANDARD ISSUE ABRASAX TEMPER. A TRANSFER OF TITLE HAS ALREADY BEEN PROCESSED. YOU AND YOUR LORD ARE TRESPASSING IN THIS PRECINCT. WE ARE AWARE OF ALL CURRENT LEGALITIES. I HAVE BEEN INSTRUCTED TO OFFER YOUR GRACE A PROPOSAL. WHAT PROPOSAL? YOU ARE TO COME WITH ME TO MEET MY LORD. THERE, YOU WILL ABDICATE YOUR TITLE AND IN RETURN MY LORD GUARANTEES THAT HE WILL DO EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER TO SEE THAT NO HARM COMES TO YOU OR YOUR FAMILY. YOU CAN'T DO IT, YOUR MAJESTY. YOU CANNOT TRUST THESE PEOPLE. IF YOU ABDICATE, YOU'LL HAVE NOTHING TO PROTECT YOURSELF. (CHUCKLES) YOU'RE GOING TO KILL THEM IF I DON'T COME WITH YOU. YOUR MAJESTY, I COULD NOT EVEN CONSIDER SUCH AN ABHORRENT CRIME. HE'S LYING. YOU WOUND ME, MR. WISE. IF I WERE TRYING TO WOUND YOU, MR. NIGHT, YOU WOULDN'T BE BREATHING. IF IT MAKES EVERYONE FEEL WARM AND COZY, THE AEGIS IS WELCOME TO FOLLOW US. NO. SHE WON'T BE GOING ANYWHERE WITH YOU. VERY WELL. I WILL INFORM MY LORD YOU HAVE REJECTED HIS OFFER. WAIT. THIS IS MY FAMILY. IT'S TOO DANGEROUS. I KNOW... BUT IT'S NOT YOUR DECISION. D HOWLING THIS IS GREEGHAN, ON APPROACH. WE HAVE AN ESCORT. MR. NESH, KEEP US CLOSE. MR. WISE, THAT PACING'S NOT HELPING. Man: THE GATE IS PREPPED AND STANDING BY, SIR. CAPTAIN TSING! THEY'RE CLOSING THE VORTEX! SHIELDS UP! ACCELERATE TO FULL. (SHRIEKS) WE'VE LOST ALL NAV-COM, CAPTAIN! GRAV-DRIVE NOT RESPONDING! SHIELDS FAILING! GET US OUT OF HERE, NESH! (MOANS) RADIO CHATTER DAMN IT. (SIGHS) WHERE'S MY FAMILY? YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED DEAD. I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER. NO, MY MOTHER NEVER CLEANED A TOILET IN HER LIFE. MAYBE THAT WAS HER PROBLEM. (CHUCKLES) MY MOTHER... MY MOTHER... TAUGHT ME WHAT WAS NECESSARY TO RULE IN THIS UNIVERSE. LIKE KILLING PEOPLE? I CREATE LIFE! AND I DESTROY IT. LIFE IS AN ACT OF CONSUMPTION... JUPITER. TO LIVE... IS TO CONSUME. NOW THE HUMAN BEINGS ON YOUR PLANET ARE MERELY A RESOURCE... WAITING TO BE CONVERTED INTO CAPITAL. AND THIS ENTIRE ENTERPRISE IS JUST A SMALL PART IN A VAST... AND BEAUTIFUL MACHINE DEFINED BY EVOLUTION, DESIGNED TO A SINGLE PURPOSE: TO CREATE PROFIT. IF THAT'S WHAT YOUR MOTHER TAUGHT YOU, THEN I CAN SEE WHY YOU HATED HER. I LOVED MY MOTHER. AND YET, YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL ME. MY MOTHER... MADE ME UNDERSTAND THAT EVERY HUMAN SOCIETY IS A PYRAMID AND THAT SOME LIVES WILL ALWAYS MATTER MORE THAN OTHERS. IT IS BETTER TO ACCEPT THIS... THAN TO PRETEND IT ISN'T... TRUE. IS THAT WHY YOU KILLED HER? (GRUNTS) HOW DARE YOU?! (INHALES SHARPLY) (SIGHS) I KNOW BECAUSE OF WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE, YOU'RE UNABLE TO SAY THIS... SO I'LL SAY IT FOR YOU. YOU LIED IN THE COMMONWEALTH BECAUSE YOU'RE A HUNTER... WHO'S BEEN SEARCHING FOR ONE THING HIS WHOLE LIFE. YOU SURVIVED SO LONG WITHOUT IT, THE FACT THAT YOU MAY HAVE FOUND IT TERRIFIES YOU, BUT NOT AS MUCH AS THE FACT THAT SHE'S DOWN THERE... BURIED IN SEVERAL TONS OF HURRICANE. AND IF YOU WANNA SEE HER AGAIN, THEN YOU TAKE MY ADVICE: YOU GET DOWN THERE AND YOU START DIGGING. (BREATHES FEROCIOUSLY) Balem: THIS IS A NOTICE OF ABDICATION. YOU WILL CONFESS YOUR GENETIC INCAPACITY TO RULE AND YOU WILL RETURN THE TITLE TO ITS NATURAL HEIR. WHERE'S MY FAMILY? (GROWLS) Mom! OH, GOD. I... I WILL DO WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU WANT, SO LONG AS THE AEGIS CAN GET MY FAMILY OUT OF HERE SAFELY. YOU ARE IN NO POSITION TO NEGOTIATE. (GROWLS) STOP. STOP, STOP, STOP! I WILL DO ANYTHING. PLEASE, YOU WIN. I BEG OF YOU, STOP. PLEASE. ELECTRICITY PULSES Tsing: MR. WISE, AS A MATTER OF PUBLIC RECORD, I MUST INFORM YOU THAT I STRONGLY ADVISE AGAINST THIS RECKLESS COURSE OF ACTION THAT WILL ALMOST CERTAINLY COST YOU YOUR LIFE. UNDERSTOOD. OFF THE RECORD, I WILL TELL YOU THAT YOU'RE A MAN OF RARE COURAGE AND I PRAY YOUR AIM IS TRUE. THANK YOU. ALARM BEEPING (YELLS) ELECTRICITY CRACKLING AND HEREBY RETURN THE TITLE TO ITS ORIGINAL HEIR, BALEM ABRASAX. ONCE I SEAL THIS... HOW LONG UNTIL YOU HARVEST THE EARTH? I CAN PROMISE THAT YOU WILL NOT SEE IT. BUT HOW LONG? YOU KNEW NOTHING OF HARVESTING BEFORE. WHY SHOULD IT MATTER NOW? REMEMBER WHY YOU'RE HERE. I CAME HERE TO TRY TO PROTECT MY FAMILY. SEAL THAT SHEAVE, AND YOU AND YOUR FAMILY WILL RETURN HOME SAFELY. IF I DON'T SEAL THIS... YOU CAN'T TOUCH THE EARTH, EVEN IF YOU KILL ME. IS THAT RIGHT? THAT PLANET BELONGS TO ME. IT IS MY RIGHT. LIGHT BEEPING NOT ANYMORE. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE DOING. I AM MAKING SURE THAT WHATEVER YOU DO TO ME AND MY FAMILY, YOU'RE NOT ABLE TO DO TO ANYONE ELSE'S. THIS IS NOT A GAME. I AM NOT MY BROTHER OR MY SISTER. IF YOU DO NOT SEAL-- BEG PARDON, MY LORD. MR. NIGHT! IT IS AN EMERGENCY! THE GRAV-HULL IS RUPTURED. THE GAS IS REACTING TO THE STOCK WORKS. YOU SEAL IT NOW. (GROWLS) SEAL IT NOW! (GROWLS) (GRUNTS) MY LORD, IS THAT ADVISABLE WITHOUT THE ABDICATION? (GRUNTS) (YELLS) KILL HER! HERE, TAKE THIS. GET YOUR FAMILY OUT. WAIT. IN CASE WE DON'T GET THE CHANCE AGAIN. GO. I'M GETTING READINGS FROM THE REFINERY. IT'S DESTABILIZED. SINKING FAST. (GROWLS) Phylo: CAPTAIN, THE GATE'S OPEN. IT'S AN EVACUATION. GET US DOWN THERE, NESH. (TRUMPETS) G AHHH! YOU'RE JUST LIKE HER. YOU WON'T PULL THAT TRIGGER. (YELLS) (SHRIEKS) BOTH SCREAM JUPITER! (SCREAMS) (SNARLS) (ROARS) (SCREAMS) (GRUNTS) (SCREAMS) (GROANS) (ROARS) (GRUNTS) (ROARS) (YELLS) (SIGHS) (GRUNTS) (SNARLS) (YELLS) (GROWLS) CARTILAGE SNAPS GLASS SHATTERS (ROARS) (GRUNTS) (ROARS) (GRUNTS) (GASPS) (GROANS) CHAIN RATTLES YOU HURT ME. (GROWLS) AND I'M GONNA MAKE YOU REGRET IT. (YELLS) AH! AHH! METAL GROANS CAPTAIN, I'M TRACKING A PING. IS IT HER MAJESTY? SIGNATURE UNKNOWN. ATTEMPTING TO LOCK IN. THIS IS CAPTAIN TSING OF THE AEGIS. WE ARE TRACKING. CAN YOU CLICK BACK? Caine: THIS IS CAINE. YES! I HAVE THE FAMILY. CAN YOU EXTRACT? (SIGHS) (WHIMPERING) INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS CAINE, WE CAN'T WAIT LONG! GIVE ME EVERY SECOND YOU CAN. AH! (GRUNTS) (GASPS) IS THIS FAMILIAR, MOTHER? (GRUNTS) DOES SOME PART OF YOU REMEMBER THIS LIKE I DO? WELL, THIS IS HOW IT BEGAN! WE WERE FIGHTING. (GRUNTS) DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID? (GAGS, GRUNTS) (YELLS) (GRUNTS) (CRIES OUT) (SOBS) I REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID. YOU TOLD ME YOU HATED YOUR LIFE. IT'S THE TRUTH. AND YOU BEGGED ME TO DO IT. YOU BEGGED ME TO DO IT! I AM NOT YOUR DAMN MOTHER. METAL CLANKING (SCREAMS) YELLING SCREAMING (GASPS) JUPITER. JUST BREATHE. JUST BREATHE. MY FAMILY? THEY'RE SAFE. MEDIC! WE CAN'T HOLD MUCH LONGER! SET A PORTAL. NOW! CAPTAIN, I DON'T NEED TO TELL YOU HOW DANGEROUS IT IS TO-- THEN DON'T! I PROMISED EVERY SECOND I COULD. OH, NO. 12 TICKS TO PORTAL. ERUPTION IMMINENT! PORTAL'S OPEN! COME ON, CAINE. BEEPING CORE-GEN'S ABOUT TO BLOW! NOW! BEEPING PANTING EVERYONE ALL RIGHT? Together: AYE, CAPTAIN. (SIGHS) CAPTAIN, I DON'T UNDERSTAND, BUT I'M PINGING MR. WISE AGAIN. WHAT? Caine: (Panting) HELLO IN THERE. WISE, WHERE ARE YOU? WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A LOOK OUT YOUR WINDOW? YOU MIGHT WANT TO OPEN THE DOOR FOR US OR SOMETHING. ALL CHEERING ALARM CLOCK BEEPING BEEPING STOPS (SIGHS) Aleksa: JUPITER. JUPITER, GET UP. MAKE THE COFFEE. (GROANS) MORNING, NINO. MORNING, MAMA. TOILET FLUSHES JUPITER. NEED HELP? ALL DONE. VASSILY SPEAKS RUSSIAN. ENGLISH, PLEASE. VLADIE. LOOK, JUPITER... I KNOW WE DON'T ALWAYS SEE EYE TO EYE. (CHUCKLES) BUT, UM (SIGHS) WELL.... FOR YOU, MY DEAR. Jupiter: OH. WHY, YOU GUYS? IT'S NOT EVEN MY BIRTHDAY. VLADIE TOLD US WHAT YOU WANTED THE MONEY FOR. YOU DIDN'T. NO. (CHUCKLES) ARE YOU SERIOUS? (CHUCKLES) OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. (GASPS) WE ALL PITCHED IN. THANK YOU. YOUR FATHER WAS GOOD MAN... AND I LOVED HIM VERY MUCH. AND YOU SHOULD HAVE THIS. COULD WE TAKE IT UP TO THE ROOF? (GASPS) UM...I'M SO SORRY. I-I-- I ACTUALLY HAVE A DATE. WHAT?! IS HE RUSSIAN? Irina: IS HE RICH? Mikka: DOES HE HAVE A YOUNGER BROTHER? DOES HE NEED A BIG TELEVISION? HOW IS HE WITH A MOP? WHAT'S HIS NAME? MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHAT'S HIS SIGN? (CHUCKLES) I DON'T KNOW. LAUGHTER I GUESS YOU CAN SAY MY FAMILY'S COMPLICATED THE WAY THAT MOST FAMILIES ARE COMPLICATED. YOU THINK YOU'LL EVER TELL THEM? WHAT, THAT I OWN THE EARTH? (CHUCKLES) MM-HM. (CHUCKLES) ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THEY'D HAVE ME LOCKED UP. AND I WOULDN'T BLAME THEM EITHER. BESIDES... I'M STILL TRYING TO UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT IT MEANS MYSELF. WELL, MAYBE IT JUST MEANS THAT YOUR MAJESTY'S PLANET HAS A DIFFERENT FUTURE THAN THE ONE THAT WAS PLANNED FOR IT. SAY THAT AGAIN. YOU MEAN... "YOUR MAJESTY"? MM-HM. THAT REALLY WORKS FOR ME. YEAH? YEAH. (CHUCKLES) ALL RIGHT. COME ON. THAT AIN'T BAD EITHER. (CHUCKLES) (GASPS) WELL, I CAN GET USED TO THIS. YOU READY? WATCH THIS. OH! WHOO! (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) WHOO! WHOO! WHOO! WWW.ABLE.CO.NZ CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR. ABLE 2017