(train whistle blowing, bell chiming) (rumbling) (bell jingles) -Hi. -Hi. WAITRESS: How many? Two. Listen, um, I wanted to get a safe-deposit box. Can you do that for me? (sighs) Okay, your box will be available any time from an hour after opening to 30 minutes before close. This is your key. -Thank you. -Oh. Um, also, if you open a checking account, we'll give you five percent off the box along with free overdraft protection. Oh, here I was hoping for a free toaster. -(both laughing) -(phone vibrates) Why would a bank give out free toasters? (chuckles) Hello, Ma. I'm ordering you the French toast. -No, thank you. -Our very patient waitress, Maggie-- at least, it says Maggie on her name tag-- has asked me to order four times. If I don't order at this point, it's just rude. -MAGGIE: I can come back. -No, it's okay. You know what, I'm making an executive decision: pancakes. -Okay. (over phone): Uh, no pancakes. I don't like pancakes. -No, thank you. -What are you, a communist, you know? My friend will have the pancakes and a fried egg. I'm thinking hash, but only if it's, like, chunky style, okay? (over phone): Listen, if you order me eggs and pancakes, I'm gonna kick your behind. Well, you got to eat breakfast. It's the most important meal of the day. Uh, ma'am, ignore everything he said, okay? Don't-don't-don't, uh, bring me any eggs and pancakes. Just bring me some coffee and bring him a couple eggs. No, I don't want eggs; I want hash. You know, put a couple eggs on it. And give him some rye toast, too. No rye toast for me; I don't like rye toast. -And a pancake. -No pancakes, no rye... Maybe a little silver dollar one. -Got the little baby ones? -No silver dollar... No pancakes, no silver dollars, no rye toast. I like pumpernickel. -I do have pumpernickel, yeah. -Pumpernickel? -Pumpernickel toast. -Maggie, wait, one more thing. -Yeah. -That's for you. You take that with you until we see each other again in case you miss me too much, okay? Why you got to do that? What? Wink at the waitresses like that? -Waitresses like me. -Nobody likes you. So? -So... -What do you got? So, it is a sleepy bank. -Doable? -That's correct. I... I told you. (door opens, bell jingles) (indistinct radio transmissions) That is a lot of doughnuts. (door opens, bell jingles) I'll be right back with your hash. Maggie, your hot homemade doughnuts, -they any good? -Best in three counties. I'll tell you what you do. You bring us three of those bad boys. Put them in a to-go box for us. -All right? Thank you. -All right. All right, time to make the move. All right, there's gonna be some sirens in this bitch. I'm gonna go shake the weasel. -All right, shake the weasel. -Shake the weasel. Hey. Good morning, sir. How are you? Hey, Maggie. Very sorry about my friend. He was kicked in the head as a child. He's really not that bad. No, he is. (smoke alarm beeping) -(alarm blaring) -MAGGIE: What's going on? Okay, I'm just gonna have you all exit the building. It might be a false alarm, but just do it safely. Thank you. Thank you. Is everybody out? I'm gonna need you to step outside. I'm just gonna grab my friend. -Okay. -Got to pay our bill. We should go. Is that all you're gonna leave for a tip? It's 15%. You leave 15%. No, you got to leave at least 30. No, you don't. 15% is standard. My Maggie's about to be out of a job, man; don't be cheap. Okay, there's five. That's seven. -There you go. Come on. -All right. All right? -What? -No, you didn't. -Yes, I did. -Oh, my God. How'd you say it? Never rob a bank across from the diner -with the best doughnuts in three counties? -That's correct. (flames whooshing, glass shattering) (engine roaring) (cattle mooing) (indistinct shouts) (horse neighs) (man shouts in Spanish) -MAN: Bobby. -Hey. Papi's down in the stables. Why don't you get something to eat? -I'm not hungry. -Sure, you are. -I want to come with you. -Hey, listen, we're here to do business, diplomatically. I can be diplomatic. You can be hungry, too, right? MAN: Bobby. Wait here, okay? -Somebody sitting here? -Little Toro. Oh. You move your feet, you lose your seat, right? -Lose your head, too. -That's correct. So, where is Little Toro? Alli, where you put him. Aqui? Alli. (flies buzzing) (both chuckle quietly) Let's play some dominos. Papi's ready. Yeah. (slams table) (indistinct chatter) -(door squeaks) -(bull bellowing) Papi Greco! -"I Know a Guy" Bobby. -That's correct. PAPI: Quick, an ostrich, a tank of ether, a '63 Impala convertible. Make it a '64. My side of the border. I know a guy. Que te dije? What did I tell you? He never says no, never says maybe, never says... "See what I can do." (bull grunts) -(loud grunt) -BOBBY: Nice bull. -I hope he's a good breeder. -Mm-hmm. That's a shame about Little Toro. Julio caught him skimming. Oh. That don't sound like Little Toro. -Is that for me? -That's correct. Everybody skims a little cream. It's human nature. But just 'cause it's human don't mean you let it go. Mmm. -Nice lines. Good colour. -That's right. That's right. He knows a guy. What you got for me? (bull grunts) Cash. Cash? Supposed to be giving me $100,000 to deal. Why didn't you give me $100,000 worth of cocaine? Where's the... where's the cocaine? My buy wants cocaine. So let him buy cocaine. That's what he's trying to do. He's trying to buy cocaine. I told him I knew a guy. Therefore, I come to you. You the guy I know. That's why I told him. So take back the passports. After Little Toro, we're not taking on any new customers. Well, no disrespect, but I ain't no new customer. You been dealing with me for a long time. You keep the passports. Keep the money, too. When you're ready to give me the product, you give me the product. Till then... you owe me. (fierce bellowing) (clucking) -(gunshot) -(squeaky cluck) (indistinct chatter, laughter) (gunshot) -(squeaky cluck) -(two gunshots) (three gunshots) That's not very sporting, man. At least give the chickens a chance to shoot back. Hey, man, I'm just saying, if I'm gonna kill a defenceless animal, I'm gonna honour its sacrifice by grilling it into some tasty barbecue. What I'm not gonna do is torture it just to prove I can't hit anything further away than my own pecker. Your cuate's a real junkyard dog. Mmm. (bullet ricochets) Hey, cowboy. You, the pretty one. -(gunshots continue) -You ever hear the expression, "You got a face only a mother can love"? That don't apply to you. You are uglier than the devil's asshole itself. -Stig. -(gunshot) What are you doing? They're torturing chickens, man. -What are you eating? -A chicken. -But it's not the same thing, okay? -Come here. See that bag over there by the table? Buffet table, next to the potato salad. Yeah, the bowling bag. What about it? Little Toro's head is in that bag. -Bullshit. -Yeah. Son of a... You know what? That's fucked-up, man. -I... -Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's go, okay? Come on, let's go. (man speaking Spanish) -Say it in English, you goat fuck. -Maricon, suck my chicken! (laughs) That's funny coming from you, fat boy. You ain't seen your pecker since you were a baby. -Puto! -Just 'cause you put your finger in your belly button and brown shit comes out don't mean it's your asshole. (laughing): What did you say? Don't worry about it, man. -(clucks) -(men gasping, murmuring) Now, dig 'em up and make some damn barbecue. (groans, speaks Spanish) STIG: Bye, chica. BOBBY: Did you just wink at him? I did wink at him, 'cause he's my bitch now. BOBBY: Oh-oh! -That's good shooting. -Gracias. (engine roaring) You know, Little Toro never did nothing to nobody, man. We should rip off Papi's stash -at the Tres Cruces Savings & Loan. -What? You know, Papi's guy delivers a briefcase full of money to Tres Cruces every two weeks. That's got to add up to what, like, $3 million at least. If Papi knew we were even talking about ripping off Tres Cruces, it would be our heads in that bag -next to the potato salad. -No way. Our two heads would never fit in a bag that small. (engine roaring) STIG: Come on, man, let's hit the bank. Little Toro was your friend. -He was my friend. -BOBBY: So? What do you mean, "So"? What if it was me? What if it was my head Papi ran through the sawmill? You wouldn't come after him? -Nope. -You wouldn't kill him? -Nope. -Shit, man, he did that to you, I'd kill him. You know why I'd kill him? Because you're my people and there's a code. There is no code, first of all. You do whatever you got to do, whatever it takes. And second? Right. We're not "people," 'cause you, you don't have people. That's correct. Purpose for your visit to Mexico? -Quail hunting. -My aunt in Tuba City had a heart attack, so we cut our trip short. Tuba City? -It's near Odessa. -Nice place? Hellhole, but she's my favourite aunt. -(siren blares) -Don't move! -Oh, shit. Let me see your hands! Tell us about your trip. Lawyer. -What's the big deal? -Lawyer. You were down in Sonora, weren't you? You don't think Agent Jessup and the D.A. -know about you and Papi Greco? -Lawyer. Lawyer. -They know you were at his ranch. -I know I need a lawyer. MAN: Tell Agent Reese about Papi Greco. -Who? -Papi Greco. Whoa, who's that, some Mexican Santa Claus or something? WOMAN (laughs): Come on, Mr. Stigman. I think it's in your best interest to cooperate. You need to stop playing the stupid card, all right? Well, ma'am, it's my intent to cooperate with whatever you need. I mean, as an American, I know you're just doing your job, and sometimes innocent folks like me get caught up in the system. It's like the airlines-- they don't lose your luggage on purpose, right? But everybody takes it -so damn personal. -Come on, Mr. Stigman. So you want to play games? What'd you have in mind? (clicks tongue) -Do you want to help yourself? -Yes. Do I have to do it in front of him? (sighs) All right, we're done here. Thank you, Mr. Stigman. -You gonna leave? -Ah, yes. -(door buzzes) -(quietly): Wow. My God. How do you concentrate working with her, man? (guard sighs) Five border agents are ripping apart your car as we speak. -They ain't gonna find anything. -(door buzzes) (door closes, lock clicks) Where'd you hide the cocaine? Can they hear us? No. -Can they see us? -No. Okay. There was no cocaine. (sighs) You had a deal in place. -Right. -500 passports -in return for cocaine. -(door buzzes) Right. Hey, Bobby. -How you doing, Deb? -Good. Man, your boy Stig's a piece of work. He winked at you, didn't he? How'd you know? Bobby didn't get the cocaine. DEB: What? What happened? Papi offered me cash, I told him no, I told him to keep the passports, so eventually he's got to come up with the cocaine. What about this guy you said you could flip-- Little Toro? I got him. It's real close. I don't know who you are anymore. It's like... it's like you're out on this limb. And you been out there way too long. And you're saying that to say what? I don't like going to the funerals of my own men. Well, then don't come, boss. Don't come. Okay? I spent the last three years of my life crawling through a Mexican sewer, trying to work my way up the line to get next to Papi Greco. You can't take me off this now. DEB: Jessup, he's close. You can't take me off this now. I know. Not now. Two weeks. You don't flip Little Toro by then, I'm pulling you out. We're done. (door buzzes) BOBBY: Think Jessup knows about us? What us? You don't do us, remember? Oh, I remember. Besides, I'm dating. Oh, right, right. Right, right, you're dating, uh... Mm-hmm. ...your imaginary boyfriend, Harvey. Uh, he's not my boyfriend. His name's not Harvey. I like Harvey; has a nice ring to it. Harvey. You don't get to be jealous anymore, Bobby. Harvey. You pushed me away. So you could be with Harvey. Fuck you. Little Toro's dead. You told Jessup you were close to flipping him. I was. But when I got down to the ranch, Papi's boys was throwing his head around in a bag. Well, that's game, then. With Little Toro off the board, Jessup's pulling you out. Not if you don't tell him. I'm your control, Bobby. -That's correct. -I have to tell him. That's why I need you... to let me rob Tres Cruces Savings & Loan. You want to rob a bank? No, Stig wants to rob the bank; it's his idea. So there's no entrapment. What I want is access to that money that Papi's got in that safe-deposit box. You know no judge is gonna give you a blanket warrant for the boxes. We don't need a warrant. Not if the money's evidence in a crime. We just trace it back to ownership. We got Papi on tax evasion, possible RICO. -Yeah? -Yeah. And what about Stig? What about him? He's a side dish. You bust him in front of the bank, he does a smooth 20 years in the penitentiary, you get a medal. The bank... gets us Papi. And that's all that matters, right? It takes whatever it takes, baby. Did you ever really love me? Hmm? I really meant to love you. (elevator buzzes, whirs) Shit. (laughs) You don't have to knock, you know. It's always open. Yeah, good. Let's hit the bank. "Let's hit the bank." -The Tres Cruces? -That's correct. Oh, shit. Here I am still spinning over how we got yanked out of line at the border. So? Are you in or you out? I'm in, yeah. It's just, I mean, have you ever had anything like that happen to you before? I mean, they were 100% convinced we were holding. And we would've if Papi hadn't have welched on that coke. So you're saying that to say what? I'm saying it's only 'cause you're hearing it. No, you're saying something. If you're saying it, I'm hearing it 'cause you're saying it. What are you saying? -Let it be said. -I think you're fucking playing me. Oh, you want to be played? I've been at your hip for ten months, but after this, I think maybe you're playing me. (gun cocks) (chuckles) I got you. -No, you didn't. -Oh, I did. The corner of your eye was twitching. -The corner? -Yeah. Yeah. That wasn't a twitch; that was a wink. That's my move. (laughs) (engine revs) (engine stops) Yep, that's Papi's chubby little kid right there. Mmm. STIG: Feed that motherfucker quesadillas. Oh, my God. BOBBY: She's chubby, too. STIG: In all the right places. How does an old, fat, ugly fuck get a girl like that? Money. All right, here we go. (brakes squealing softly) STIG: Same thing every two weeks. Papi flies over the border with a briefcase full of cash, he spends a week with the mistress, Ferret-Nose Julio drives it out to the Tres Cruces Savings & Loan. Think they got $3 million in the bank, huh? Easy. STIG: Bingo. BOBBY: Money, money, money, money. STIG: Oh, yeah. (engine starts) (engine starts, revs) (train whooshing) (bell dinging) Why don't you hit the diner, check out the doughnuts. I'm kind of more in a corned beef hash mood, tell you the truth. You never heard the saying, "Never rob a bank across from a diner that has the best doughnuts in three counties"? -(laughing): That's not a saying. -Yes, it is. -No, it's not. I get what you're saying, but it's not a saying. -It is a saying. -Okay. -It's a saying now. -Let you tell it. (bell jingles) Make the move. (alarm beeping, wailing) Bad DEA agent. Am I bad? Yes, you are. I'm a bad girl? -Yes, you are. -Yeah. Stig decided to hit the bank tomorrow, 3:00. Stig decided? With or without me, he's going in. Well, I still haven't talked to Jessup. Stig doesn't know that. 3:00 tomorrow, he's going in. If we want Papi, I got to go in with him. (scoffs softly) You're not even gonna give me a choice, are you? I'm giving you no other options as a way to protect you. Just have the troops meet me outside the bank 3:05 when we come out. 3:05. Okay. And don't shoot me. -Even though you want to. -We'll see. (chuckles) (taps window) License and registration, cowboy. Cute. -What's up, Teemo? -What's up, brother? -How are you, brother? Miss you, man. -I miss you, man. STIG: Got you a turkey burger, special sauce. Commander wants to see you. Yes, sir. So, half a mile from home? (sighs) Got Bobby all wound up and ready to go, sir. Right. Ordnance you requested. Do you know, the admiral's proud of what you've done. You've gone way out on a limb. The bank falls right tomorrow, says you can come in from the cold, rejoin your brothers. Great. Be good just to put the uniform back on, sir. I mean, I didn't join the Navy to commit felonies and hang with drug dealers, you know? Even if you're damn good at it? I do what I do for the Navy, sir. It's all part of the admiral's plan. We get the $3 million from the bank, we run cross-border ops on Papi and all the other cartels. Tomorrow, clean and precise. Tick all the boxes, nothing left undone, you got it? Yes, sir. -Let's go. -Let's go. -Watch out. -What? (laughs) Hey, nice jacket. Hey, tell your mother she got to move out of my house at some point, man. 1 1 (baby crying) STIG: All right, what do you want, clown or Frankie? Frankie. So, what'd you do with the .22? Traded to my cousin for an espresso machine. BOBBY: You're gonna need special beans for that, right? STIG: Ah-ah-ah. You can reach for your firearm, but do it real slow. BOBBY: Any other people in the building? What the hell is this? BOBBY: A bank robbery, only instead of robbing the bank and letting you chase after us, we decided to come after you first. Let's go. (train horn blowing) BOBBY: All right, give me your gun now. All right, everybody sit down. Everybody sit down on the floor. Ladies behind the counter, keep your hands visible, -not on the alarms, okay? -All right, girls, just give them the drawer cash! Did we ask for the drawer cash?! BOBBY: Come on, come on, come on. Sit, sit, sit, right here. -Sit, sit. -Let's go, on the floor. -Hey, guard! -Hey! Hey. Look, I'm trying to be polite, all right? Just sit tight and this will be over soon. Open the gate. I-I don't have a key. What'd you say? -Easy. -Come here. You lie to me again, it's gonna be more than a fucking problem. Get out there now. Get on the floor. -You good? I'm going in. -(baby crying) (baby continues crying) BOBBY: Shh. It's all right. (woman gasps) My baby. Hey. It's okay. It's okay. Yeah? Okay. Here you go. Showtime! Fire in the hole! (device beeps) (people scream, gasp) Holy shit! Hey, Frankie, something's not right. They're all stuffed with money. I thought you said there would only be one or two. Every single one of them. I'm at 32 boxes and counting. Look, there's way more than $3 million, and there's still a lot more here. All right, well, take them all. We'll figure it out later. You go ahead. I'll get the rest. All right. Listen, there may be gunfire outside, okay? So if it hits, you get everybody behind the counters. This is for the jail across the street. You let the cops out. Let them out. Come on. (engine starts) (tyres screeching) That's a hell of a lot more than $3 million. How much you figure? Shit, we couldn't be the luckiest chumps on the face of the earth, could we? -You feel lucky? -No, I don't. I mean, this can't be Papi's money. I mean, money like this, people gonna chase us off the end of the earth -for money like this. -Well, I hate to tell you this, Stig, but I got more bad news... Take that hand away nice and slow, Bobby. Okay. Put the gun down, Stig. You know I really like you, right? -I like you, too. -No, you don't. -Yes, I do. -No, you don't. Nobody likes me, okay? -And I'm okay with it. -I do. I like you more than most. You're not just saying it 'cause I got a gun pointed to you? Why don't you just put the gun down? (sighs) Shit. Oh! (chuckling): Hotdoggin'... I'm sorry, man. What'd you do that for? -Shit, man, I had to. -No, you didn't. -Yeah. -It's just a little flesh wound, okay? You're gonna be all right. Drink the water, and then you'll be o... What is that? In your hand-- is that a badge in your hand? (grunts) Tell me you're not a no-good, two-timing son of a bitch. -Two-timing? You shot me. -Tell me. DEA. Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. H-Hang on. No, you wait a minute. Hey. -(engine starts) -Stig. Hey. MAN: The United States is the greatest country in the world because we accept a man is, at his core, greedy, selfish... -(punches hole) -...and covetous. BANK MANAGER: I had no choice. They took my key. I would never willingly open the vault. Keep your hands on the desk, please. In America, we line everybody up, say, "You're on your own. Grab all you can grab." I'm innocent. Nobody's innocent, friend. There's just the guilty, the ignorant and the unlucky. (groaning) Did you take our money? You fellas look like you're waiting for a bus. Well, you guys let us know when you're done. Oh, I'm done, and thank you for the courtesy. Who is that guy? You heard of the hidden hand of God? Well, that's God's son of a bitch. Call the DDO and get a list of everyone who knew we had money in this bank. You two realize those sunglasses make you look like assholes? Excuse me. When did that diner burn? Yesterday. I want interviews with the wait staff and every customer in the place. It was just a grease fire. Did I ask your opinion, Gomer? You ever hear the saying, "Never rob a bank across from a diner with the best doughnuts in three counties"? If that diner fire's a coincidence, it's only 'cause we ain't looking hard enough. That is an impressive mound of greenbacks. 43,125,000 of them, sir. All right. Recount it, pack it up, we'll stow it back in Corpus. It was my impression we were supposed to come out of that bank with $3 million at most, sir. Mm-hmm. Whose money was it? Bad men unworthy of it. Did you know Bobby Beans was DEA? No, I didn't. No offense, sir, but you really need to work on your surprise face. Well, if he was DEA, he helped you rob a bank... which means he is dirty, and for that I have no mercy. Where'd you leave him? In the desert. He dead? More than likely. More than likely? You want to tell me what that means? You know, the whole point of you working with Bobby Beans was to kill him off and create a cutout so the op couldn't get traced back to us. -My cover's solid. There's no way it'll trace back. -What? My cover is solid. There's no way it'll trace back, sir. That's a call made above your pay grade. Yes, sir. Assign two of the boys to stow the money back at the naval base. The rest will come with us to check on the body of Mr. Beans. Stigman, want to come with me? (siren wailing in distance) (vehicle approaching) (music blaring over stereo) -Hey there, buddy. -Hey. You habla? Uh, yeah, yeah, I, uh... I hablo. Okay, that's good. No trusting him till you see his papers. If he's got papers, I'll see his papers. You got papers, right? No. No, I got no papers. Well, that's gonna be a problem. See, Slim Jay and me-- we done assigned ourselves protection this here stretch of the border, officially unofficially, so we're really gonna have to see your papers. Make sure you ain't no Muslim or nothing. (chuckles) Well, uh... Oh, yeah, no, I-I do have it. Salaam alaikum. And, uh, let me have your gun. Give it to me. Gracias. You know how to pray? (engine roars) 1 (sighs) Teemo, how we doing, boys? Any sign of Bobby Beans? Checked all the washes to the southeast. No sign of a body. All right. Well, Stig, you put us in quite a hole. I don't see it that way, sir, but you're the man with the oak leaves. All that pride I had in you, that loyalty. Well, you just tossed it to the wind. Yes, sir, I'm sorry, sir. (grunting) Goddamn it. TEEMO: He's in the wash! Go, go, go! Come on, let's flush him out! Where you going, Stigman? It doesn't matter if you run. Your jacket's wired, so you're six months AWOL after stabbing an MP. You talk to anyone, they're just gonna hand you right back over to me. (grunts) You all right? Yeah. Then get your ass up! (indistinct shouting in distance) Toss the gun. (keys jingling) (groaning) Move! (grunts) Come on, come on. Shit. (sighs) (dogs barking) (barking continues) Jesus, what am I supposed to do with this? Oh, man, oh. Come on. I'm a vet, not a trauma surgeon. I ca... I can't help you with this, man. You got to go. Go where? Just, you got to leave. I can't do anything. Kenny, you remember a couple of months ago, you offered to sell me 500 hits of ketamine? Yeah, you said you weren't interested. Right, 'cause I'm a DEA agent. (chuckles) And if you don't fix me up... I'm gonna go to the DEA, I'm gonna tell them that you like cruising Tori Amos concerts, selling Special K to little weepy college girls. KENNY: There's no way you're a cop. -No? -No. -You sure? -I'm positive. Aah! (groans) You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to have a lawyer present during questioning. Do I need to keep going? No, I'm good. You're a cop. (clears throat) -Okay. -Okay. Nice shirt. Thanks. It's JCPenneys. -Yeah? -Yeah. All right, hold on one second. (siren wailing in distance) (car alarm chirps) (siren wailing) Welcome to the Camino Real. Thank you. (indistinct chatter) (elevator bell dings) -Hey. You were late. -Jesus Christ. What the hell happened? MAN: Excuse us. I robbed a bank. What happened to you? -I was there with six agents at 3:05. -You weren't. -Yes, I was. -You were late. You went early. It's not as if you couldn't have pulled your badge -at any time and stopped it. -I did. Stig shot me. -What? -He shot me in the shoulder. We got to take you to the hospital. What, and interrupt your rendezvous with Harvey? I don't think so. This is what we need to do: We need to find Stig, we need to find the money. All right, listen. Let me go upstairs, make my excuses, and then we'll find Stig together, okay? Okay, okay, let's do this, let's do this. Why don't you recheck Stig's background? Maybe there was something that we missed. All right? I'm going to Stig's apartment and see what I can find out. All right? Okay. Tell Harvey I said hi. Who'd you patch up? (dogs barking in distance) What are you talking about? What am I talking about? Well, there's a dune buggy parked out back that was stolen by a man with a bullet hole in him. Now, before he had a bullet hole in him, he burned down a diner and robbed a bank. Well, I... I don't know anything about that, so... -Okay. -Okay? Fair enough. Say, let me ask you something. Hmm? You ever play Russian roulette? Of course not. (chuckling) Wha... what am I thinking? The thing is, most people-- they put the gun to the temple, and that's, well... that's just stupid. What if... ...the bullet's in the first chamber? (panting) You blow a man's head off before he's had a chance to tell you what you want to know. Oh, no, no, no, come on, man. (screaming) Case in point. Stig! (exhales) Stig. (phone ringing) (answering machine beeps) STIG (over answering machine): Pick up, Bobby. What the fuck are you doing here, Bobby? STIG: What are you ducking for, man? You know I set you up, right? They told me all about you. Tough cat, knows everybody, doesn't have people. STIG: That guy, well, shit, that guy's a perfect cutout. I mean, he takes a bullet, who's going to care, right? Pick up the phone. Pick up the damn phone, Bobby. -You got anything to say? -STIG: First question: If you're DEA and you're clean, why are you here alone? Where's your backup, Bobby? Come on, Bobby, it's this kind of attitude makes me think you're not one of the good guys. STIG: If I wanted you, I could've had you before you walked into that building, Bobby. That's a beautiful rifle, Stig. That Army-issue? You like that? Nah, it's Kmart-- Blue Light Special. Now, answer my question. Who's your backup? BOBBY: No, no, that's a military rifle. What's the military doing robbing banks, Stig? (laughs) Can we just have a straight-up conversation, Bobby? I got you dead to rights. Yeah? So shoot me... again. BOBBY: No? I'll shoot myself. STIG: Huh. Not bad. I'm glad you're impressed. STIG: Were you testing me to see if I would shoot first? Where's the money, Stig? STIG: You know, if I thought you were clean, I might tell you, but I don't, so I can't. BOBBY: You're lying. You don't have it, do you? -Where's the money? -(vehicle approaches) -STIG (whispers): Oh, shit. -BOBBY: What? STIG: You're not the only one I was expecting, Bobby. Three very nasty men just showed up. If they find you in my place, they will get ugly. -Who are "they"? -Yesterday, I'd have said they were my family. Today, they kind of want to kill me. -I understand the feeling. -You know, fuck you. What do you know about family? You don't even have people. STIG: No, Bobby, that's a stupid idea. They're already coming up the stairs. -Bobby! -(mechanical whirring) STIG: I told you. Now, Bobby, hang up the speaker and answer your cell phone, okay? If you want me to help you out, listen... (dialling) -(phone vibrates) -(whispers): Yeah? STIG: Just stay in the shadows, okay? I'm gonna guide you out from there. STIG: Wait. Wait. -(loud bang) -(groans) He's coming up your rear. You better dart across the hall. Go over to the bedroom and hide behind the lockers. Go. STIG: All right, Bobby, you're gonna want to scoot across the hall. Go. STIG: Bobby? Bob... (click) Shit. -Teemo! -Rooftop! (bullets ricocheting) (bullets striking window) MAN: Target's on the move! (automatic gunfire) (man yells, grunts) Sorry, Teemo. (automatic gunfire continues) (gunfire fading) (fan whooshing rhythmically) (unscrewing cap) (pouring liquid) (doorbell rings) (sets down glass) Where's our money? I have no idea what you're talking about. You think DEA can just waltz into our bank, steal our money, and we're not going to kick? (gun cocks) Your man Bobby Treanch stole 43 million of our dollars. We'd like it back. Because it's our money. Because it's a blatant act of disrespect. And because it's our money. (phone rings) Please tell me it's you, Bobby. Anything new on Stig? He's coming up clean on every database I'm cleared for. No military connection, no regular service? To go deeper, I-I'd need to get clearance from Jessup. Well, try your old contacts in the military. I'm gonna tell Jessup everything I know. -Wait, are you sure? -Someone has to know whose money was in the bank. Yeah, Stig. Stig didn't even know I was DEA. Besides, somebody tried to kill him, too. Bobby, let me help you. What do you need? Take it easy. Bye. Bobby... (quietly): Fuck! (gun cocks) (grunting) (gunshot) (dog barking in distance) That's how you take down a man. Now, shut the door. Just let it come. Agent Robert Lynn Treanch, aka Bobby T., aka Bobby B., aka Bobby Beans. Let's have a chat. (sniffs) You stole... $43.125 million that did not belong to you. Now, man-to-man... who at DEA authorized you to rob our bank? You're a banker? You ever play Russian roulette? (sniffs) Thing is... ...most people put the gun to the temple. Well... well, that's just stupid. You blow a man's head off before he's had a chance to tell you what you want to know. Mess up your suit, too. (quiet clicking) -(hammer clicks) -(Bobby gasps) (both chuckle) Who told you it was all right to take our money? (exhales) "Our money," "our bank." Who are you? If you don't know who I am... how did you know to steal our $43 million? -I don't know what you're talking about. -You don't? No. Well... (chuckles softly) Where's the money? Oh, boy. Well, uh... it ain't down there, I can guarantee you that. (quiet clicking) (hammer clicks) (relieved chuckle) -Whoo-hoo! Ooh. -Yeah. Aka Bobby Balls. -Clean and shaven. -(laughs) (laughs) (weak panting) You know what you are? You... are a dirty DEA agent. That's right. You're a dirty DEA agent who robbed a bank and shot your boss. (snaps fingers) You walk into any federal office, and that's the story they're going to have. (sniffs) Unless you bring me 43... ...point 125 million. And you walk away, clean. Have I properly incentivized you? More than you know. Unless you want to rot in jail, you'd best get after it. Go on, now. Go on. All right. If you're thinking he deserved better, you're right. (indistinct talking) -Hey, Rudy. -Hola, Javier. (car door opens) -(birds chirping) -(indistinct talking) BOBBY: Morning, Papi. Don't move. Go inside. Quick. JAVIER: Mommy! Whose money did we steal? You really want to know? I really want to know. (groans) Easy, old man. Get in there. Get in there. PAPI: Payback's a bitch! (muffled): Payback's a bitch! -BOBBY: Ah-ah-ah-ah. -Whoa, whoa, whoa, Bobby. Drop the gun. Give me the keys. Give me the keys. Nice and easy. -I can't do that. -Why not? Well, I got him first; I got dibs. I got a .44. I'm taking Papi. Give me the keys. You want 'em? Come get 'em. Now, I see the wheels turning, you're thinking, mmm, a little blindfold, -maybe use your teeth. -That's not what I'm thinking. -You know what I'm thinking? -What? -Oh! Shit, man! -How's that? That was uncalled for. Shit, you know, I liked you better when you were "I Know a Guy" Bobby. I mean, that Bobby was a good guy. Yeah, well, I liked you better when you were winking at waitresses and shooting the heads off of chickens. Give me the keys. -All right. -Give me the keys. -(gunshot) -STIG: Shit! -(Papi yelling) -You saw that move coming? That's correct. Give me the keys. Damn, you're good. Now, one of us is gonna have to pick up those keys. Guess. All right. I'll get 'em, all right? -Get 'em. Get 'em. -Put that musket away, man. (gunshot) (engine starts) (tyres squealing) -(tyres squeal) -(horn honking) -Hey, pull over! -Pull over? Hey, Papi, you like my driving? (muttering, grunting) Oh, shit! Come on, Bobby, I ain't got all damn day! (laughing) (grunting) (pained groan) (exhales) What do you want to do? (engine roars) (grunts) -(clang) -Ow! (both grunting) All right. All right, all right. -All right, let me go. -You let me go first. No, you let me go. -STIG: On three. -On three. -One... -Yeah. two, three. Okay. Now you're making me not be able to trust you. All right, on the count of three, we'll let each other go. -All right. That's fair. -All right? -One, two... -Three. -I knew it. -Let me go. -No. -All right, I'm gonna let you go. -I'm gonna let you go. -All right. One... (Stig groans) -BOBBY: Ow. Ow -(Stig laughing) Come on, man, you got to admit, that was kind of fun, no? You didn't like that? Who are you? -Shit. -Huh? (panting): U.S. Navy intel. -Yeah? -Well, I was. My commander FUBAR'd my jacket, and now I'm AWOL for stabbing an MP. You're lucky. They got me framed for killing my boss. Did your boss order your four closest friends to kill you? (panting) No, you got me there. Petty Officer Michael Stigman. DEA Officer Bobby Treanch, but I guess you know that already. -Pleasure. -So, what, you just happened to pick me, or... you got orders to set me up on purpose? I had orders, man. I didn't know you were DEA; my people did. And they're intel-- there's not much they don't know. -Your people? -I'm just trying to piece together the truth so I can take it over my commander's head to the admiral. That's why they want to kill me and why I want to talk to Papi. Right. Well... I guess we can... both talk to him at the same time. What, like we're working together? -No, not like we're working together. -Yeah! No, like we're working in the same, -uh, vicinity. -Together. -In the same area code, the same county. -Together. And don't get all "We Are the World" on me, either. -When this is over, I'm gonna shoot` -But we're partners. -Yeah, but I'm still gonna shoot you. -Come on, man, Ebony and Ivory. Shit, I think he... he's puked or he's dead. Oh, yeah, he puked. Hey. I'm gonna fucking kill you both. -This might take a while. -STIG: I got all day, partner. -Hold on. (passes gas) Let me put that in there with you, put that on you. (trunk slams, echoes) 1 So, partner... how you want to do this? I like that; it's got a nice roll off your tongue there. -All right, now, we're not that close. -Yeah. Don't kumbaya with me. Don't kumbaya. Hey, I'm gonna get my bucket and towel and waterboard his ass. Nah, we got to give him a chance to talk. You got anything to say? I hope you guys like the taste of balls, because I'm gonna chop yours off, stuff them in your mouths. -See? -Or maybe I'll... put yours in his and his in yours. Want me to get the bucket? Kumbaya. (laughs) So... why were you putting so much money in Tres Cruces? Tres Cruces? We thought you just stashed a little cash there, until we robbed the place, found $40 million. Why is that? You robbed Tres Cruces? That's correct. Why is that? (laughs) That's funny, huh? (laughing): You're dead. Yeah, that is funny, isn't it? Both of... (grunts) And I didn't even have to kill you. Oh, I thought you were sharp, "I Know a Guy" Bobby. But you... you just ripped off the CIA. (chuckles) The CIA? -The CIA. -STIG: He's full of crap. Why would he have money in the same bank as the CIA? Why would you have money in the same bank as the CIA? I don't have shit in that bank. The only money I deliver to Tres Cruces is a payment. To the CIA? The CIA. They take seven percent of my revenue. In return, they let me use their planes. So I can get my shit across the border. (chuckles) I could do it a lot cheaper, but there was really no negotiations. You know? They take it from all the cartels. Bullshit. Okay. They're still gonna kill you. Bobby? You said stop by any time. You kidnapped a drug kingpin. -That's correct. -Papi Greco. And you tied him up in my garage. Sorry. What...? You mind if I swipe a yogurt? Yeah, sure. Please, help yourself to anything. Take whatever you want. It's just a yogurt. Yeah, but it's her yogurt. Just-just put it back. Please. What, are you two, like, ex-boyfriend and girlfriend? Actually, you know what, we never put a name on it. Oh, so what, you broke his heart or he broke yours? DEB: Wow. This guy will really ask anyone anything at any time. Why don't you go check on, uh, Papi, huh? What do you see in this guy? -I could go on for hours. -Stig. But I don't know you, and I don't think -this is the right time for us -Stig. to have this conversation, okay? So daddy issues, huh? Daddy! -DEB: Is he serious? -STIG: Daddy issues, I knew it. -Garage. Papi. Go. -Hey, Daddy. -I get it now. -Go. Go to the garage. Well, can I have the yogurt? You can have the yogurt. -Yes. -Here. I don't like her, man. Well, you don't get a vote. I'm gonna watch her. DEB: Bobby, what are you doing? Are you 100% sure you can trust this guy? No, but he's all the help I got. Jessup's dead. The money we stole was CIA money. They came looking for it. I'm sorry, Deb. I didn't mean to get you involved in all this. You okay? (door opens) (light buzzing) What are you smirking at? You know, I been racking my brain, trying to figure out who you look like, and it finally dawned on me. You look like a Mexican Albert Einstein. Minus the genius factor, obviously. You want some yogurt? Payback's a bitch. (groans) That's for Little Toro. (yelling and grunting) Stig? (dog barking in distance) (grunting) (silenced gunfire) Stig! Move it! Move it! -Stig? -The one and only. -That your people? -You have to say it like that? Like what? They're your people, right? Technically, yes, but I thought you were my people now. All right, two taps, we'll hit the garage, on go. Okay, on your go. Go! (engine starts) (tyres screeching) (silenced gunfire) Fuck. DEB: What was that about? That was messed up. DEB: What the hell's going on? I don't know. I don't know. Give me your phone. -(screams) -Now. I'll take the car, too. Get out. Get out! WOMAN: Oh, my God. (tyres screeching) Cabron. Esta en un gray Charger. (speaks Spanish) How did Stig's people know to come to your house? I don't know. They must have followed you. I don't think so. We would've seen them. We should've seen them. How'd they know to come to your house? Huh? Why were they at your house, Debbie? Oh, no, you serious? Bobby... (steam hissing) (quiet groaning) (men speaking Spanish) (men continue speaking Spanish) Out of the car, gabacho. Hurry up. You fucked up now, ese. On your knees. I know some guys, too, Bobby. PAPI: Bag 'em up. Let's take 'em home. (chickens clucking) (rooster crows in distance) -You want to talk about it? -Nah. -You sure? -Yeah, I'm sure. I told you I didn't like her, man. Shut up. What are you getting mad at me for? -Because you talk too much. -What'd I ever do to you? Besides shoot me? You know what you are? No, you're a misanthorpe. It's "misanthrope." I'm a misanthrope. Did you know what I meant to say? No. What did you mean to say? -That you don't like people. -Shut up. (chickens clucking) (man speaking Spanish) Time for my massage. Yeah. I'll have housekeeping clean up your bed. (bull bellowing in distance) -(Papi exhales) -STIG: Oh, shit. PAPI: My grandfather cut cane for 30 years every day (groans in pain): and never got a blister. (zips up zipper) Says it smells like hell. Toughens the hands. You know what I like about this? Not only do I get to take my time with you guys, but this time, I don't have to worry about leaving any marks. Don't put your hands on me, man. (groans) Shit. What did you say? Just don't put those pissy hands on me, man. (groans) (grunting) PAPI: You ain't got a home, Bobby. DEA doesn't want you around. Not with your sins. (bull bellows) Payback's a bitch. You smell like warm Corona, man. (grunting) You remember... my prize breeding bull with cojones the size of coconuts. You want to see him? That's okay; we can see good from here. Adios, Bobby. STIG: No, no. (bellowing) (grunting) STIG: Shit! $43 million. It's everything we stole from the CIA. You let us go, we'll bring it to you. (speaking Spanish) I got the money. -What are you talking about? -I got it. -You don't have it. -I know I don't have it. -He doesn't know that. -You don't have the money. I know you don't have it, 'cause I have it. You have it? Where is it? -Commander Quince's safe. -Don't tell me. -Tell him. -Corpus Christi Naval Air Station. (bellowing) Oh, shit! Where is it? Commander Quince's safe, Corpus Christi Naval Air Station. -(speaks Spanish) -(bull bellowing) The guy's pissing on us, and you're asking if we should fucking tell him. If that's the truth, I might as well just kill you now. -(bull bellowing) -(loud crash) I had a run-in with a couple boys out of your organization. Hello, Earl. Mr. Bobby Beans and Mr. Michael Stigman. Well, they're not from my organization. They're freelancers. And Bobby Beans is undercover DEA. And Mr. Stigman is AWOL U.S. Navy. (sighs) They stole $43.125 million from the Tres Cruces. We want it back. Is there a finder's fee? Fee is we let you continue to do business. Fee is we don't raise our cut from seven percent to 20. The fee is we don't come down here with a squad of Apache A-6 helicopters and wipe you off the face of the earth. You like my country weak and corrupt, don't you? So you can buy your cheap crap at the mall. Well, Earl, I'm not cheap. Is this about pride, Manny? About machismo? Prove you've got a big Mexican cock? Well, your cock is huge. It's massive. And I... I'm in awe of your cock. So what? You're still a drug dealer, and I'm still the government of the United States. It's a free market, Manny, not a free world. I'll take a look. Hard. You'll look hard. Under every rock in Mexico. EARL (outside): Let's get out of this shit hole. (creaking) I've decided to let you bring me the $43 million. The truck will take you north to the border. From there, you'll cross on foot with the coyotes. If it's all the same, we'd rather drive. With everybody looking for you, they'll pull you out of line in two seconds. No, you go the way you force my people. Well, if we can't risk crossing, how are we supposed to bring you back the money? I'll meet you north of the border in 24 hours. Andale. Now, I'm trusting you to fulfil your part of the bargain. (whistles) -(guns cocking) -PAPI: Hey, Bobby. You've got 24 hours to bring me the money, or I'm gonna shoot her right in the head. Then I'm gonna find you, and I'm gonna gut you like a pig. (Danger Mouse's 'Two Against One') # Make no mistake I don't do anything for free # I keep my enemies closer than my mirror ever gets to me # And if you think that there is shelter in this attitude # Wait till you feel the warmth of my gratitude # One # I get the feeling that it's two against one # I'm already fighting me so what's another one? # The mirror is a trigger and your mouth's a gun # Lucky for me I'm not the only one # And if it looks to me like you and your reflection # Plan to add your own fire to this dimension # Then tell it that this ain't no free for all to see # There's only three # It's just you and me against me # One # I get the feeling that it's two against... Stig! # I'm already fighting me so what's another one? (gasping) # ...and your mouth's a gun # Lucky for me I'm not the only one # Lucky for me I'm not the only one # One # I get the feeling that it's two against one # I'm already fighting me so what's another one? When this is over, I'm still gonna shoot you. Whatever it takes, Bobby. # One. # I get the feeling that it's two against one. # STIG: Pick one. I can get in anything. So, what about the Audi? -No, no, I don't do German, okay? Locks are tricky; too many alarms. -A Suburban. -That one's 2010. It's gonna get, like, two miles a gallon. I ain't paying for all that gas. You know, for a car thief, you are mighty particular. -I'll break into the Honda. -I look like I'm gonna ride -in that Honda to you? -Well, you could. And you could pick something with a little more class. Well, I hate to remind you, but we're breaking into a high-security Navy base, okay? -We ain't going to the hip-hop opera. -Right. It ain't no "Les Miserables" for you tonight. "Les Miserab-lay." -Oh, man, whatever the fuck, man. -Don't remind me. Look, it's not my fault Quince took the money back to the base. I thought you said you took the money back to it. No, I never said that. So the money could be anywhere. It could be in East Jabip, the Cayman Islands. No, the money is on the base, okay? I gave it to Commander Quince at the Camino Real, and he told the guys to take it back to the base. Right before he took you out and tried to kill you. That doesn't mean he's lying about the base. Not everybody's as paranoid as you, Bobby. Geez. What about the Prius? You like the Prius? Camino Real? Yeah, it's a hotel. I met Debbie at the Camino Real. -No shit? What was she doing there? -Yeah. She said she was there to meet her boyfriend, Harvey, Wait, your girlfriend has a boyfriend? She's not my girlfriend. Holy shit. Yeah, just pick a car. Right here. You pick that one? Yeah. The fuck you want, a fucking Bentley? I got it. (bell dings) WOMAN: Hi. Hey. Crazy question: You wouldn't have anybody who knows how to fix a snowmobile? -I don't think so. -Would you check for me? I really need it fixed by tonight. Why, a big storm coming? You never can be too sure. I'll be right back. What's up with that? What? She smiled at you, you didn't wink at her? I don't wink at every woman I see. Snowmobile in Texas, huh? You must be in some serious shit, sailor. Got yourself a new claw, huh? -Give me a claw. Give it a pound. -It's a beaut. You still got my rainy-day stash? Yeah. See you later, Stig. Bye. STIG: You know what they say-- talk softly and carry an M-4 with a grenade launcher. BOBBY: Wow. Which one do you want? This one. What's your plan for getting on the base? I'm working on it. 1 All right, remember, once we get to the command building, Quince's office is first floor, end of the hall. If he's not in the field, that's where he lives -18 hours a day. -Right, right. But you still haven't told me -what the plan is to get through the gate. -I got a plan. I mean, I'm capable of coming up with a plan. I'm not saying you're not capable; I'm just saying you haven't told me. What is it? I'm working on it. Better work faster. Much faster. MAN: Move it up. Quickly. Fuck it. Halt! He's going through! That fast enough for you? (tyres squealing) (gunshot) -(horn honking) -Shit! Let's go! Let's go! -On the radio now! -Return to post! (sirens wailing) That was your plan? -Well, we're on the base, aren't we? -That's not a plan. Nobody in their right mind breaks into a naval base. That's why it's a brilliant plan; no one expected it. You should've seen your face. Damn, they were surprised. -(tyres squealing) -All right, your stop coming up. I'll play decoy, lead them away. Try to get to the admiral, okay? All right, things go wrong, I'll see you back at the boatyard. Oh, things ain't going wrong. I'm getting a medal. I get to the admiral, I'm getting a medal. Watch. You're gonna wish me luck, aren't you? -Come on, man, let's hear it. -Good luck. Quince's office at the end of the hall. Remember, first floor, end of the hall. (sirens continue) (tyres screeching) Halt! Stop where you are! We have a breach at Status Hall! Go, go, go. (door closes) MAN: Up the stairs! Sir, Petty Officer Michael Stigman. I.D. number 540333. Wait a minute. What's the problem? Oh, shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that to you, man. Sir. I've been in the service 12 years, sir. I've never stepped foot in an officers' mess, much less crashed it. Please, sir, it's an emergency. Stand outside, please. Leave us alone. Thank you, sir. Hey, I-I'm really sorry about that, man. I didn't mean to hit you like that. I apologize. I'm listening, sailor. Sit. Thank you, sir. -QUINCE: Try the admiral again for me. -WOMAN: Yes, sir. (siren wailing outside) ADMIRAL: And you believed this stolen money would all be used to fight, uh, drug cartels? Yes, sir. I thought the orders came down the valid chain of command. Blind loyalty is not loyalty. I-I know that, sir, and that's why I'm here. Well, you've shown a lot of tenacity and a... lot of guts bringing this to me. Well, thank you, sir. That means the world coming from you. Unfortunately, there's, uh, nothing I can do for you. Well, of course, sir. I mean, you can just lock down the base. You can arrest Commander Quince. The United States Navy does not rob banks. Its personnel did not rob a bank. I'm not gonna tarnish the integrity of the Navy over one crooked sailor. If there was money taken from the bank that was part of an illegal CIA slush fund, the Navy had no knowledge the fund existed. (sighs) Your jacket has you, uh, six months AWOL? Yes, sir. It's gonna stay that way. Commander Quince's jacket will likewise be amended so he's also AWOL, making none of this the Navy's problem. Sir, this isn't right. Well, I'd offer more, but when the hand has gangrene, you chop it off to save the body. You don't keep the pinky around just because it meant well. (sighs) (door opens) Have Petty Officer Stigman dropped outside the main gate. He sets foot on a military base anywhere in the world, I want him shot. STIG: This is bullshit! You know, men like me fight and die on the orders of men like you! Without us, those stars on your shoulder are a fucking costume! (door closes) Open the safe. -Does your boss know you're doing this? -Open it. Or did the CIA kill her like they did Jessup? What's it to you? I don't like loose ends. Neither do I... Harvey. (chuckles) Huh? Well, my mother named me Harold. I like Harvey; Harvey has a nice ring to it. Don't you like Harvey? I don't know what you're talking about. Yes, you do. Been to the Camino Real Hotel lately? Open the safe. (sirens approaching) (buttons beeping) -Staging area cleared up! -Bring it through! (indistinct radio transmission) (beeping) Where's the money? You tell me where Deb is. She's getting her nails done. Where is the money? I don't know. All right, tell me what you do know. Well, your girl found out where the CIA was stashing the money right about when I did, and when I told her that she and I could get away with the money by setting you and Stigman up, she didn't even blink. Don't lie to me. Was she that unhappy, Bobby? (groans) Where is the money? -Don't lie to me. -(gun cocks) You think I'd keep it here with you and Stigman still alive? Come on, Bobby. You gave it to her, didn't you? Didn't you? -Commander... -Back up. (gunshot) -Go, go, go, go! -On your six. Move, move, move! (sirens wailing) MAN (over P.A.): All personnel, evacuate the building. All personnel, evacuate the building. Take the back, in that alley! Go to the front! Let's go! (alarm bell ringing) Hey! MAN: This way! Come on, let's move! Come on, come on, find him! -Clear. -Clear. (alarm blaring) (yelling) (glass and debris clinking) You okay? Come on, let's go. (crashing, rumbling) (coughing) -You okay, sir? -Yeah, I'm fine. Work off the standpipe. (sighs) This is really good barbecue. You don't want to regret not trying it. Why don't stop wasting my time and just kill me? Even if Bobby was coming with the money, you'd still kill us both. But he's not coming. He'll be here. No. He won't. You think he's just gonna let you die? You think it was a coincidence the Navy came looking for Bobby at my house? If I couldn't have Bobby, at least I'd have half of $43 million. (sighs) You set up Bobby Beans. I wouldn't be coming for you, either. Where's the money? Come on. I don't know. Gone, out of the country. It's certainly not on a Navy base, Papi. Where does that leave you? -Exactly where I deserve to be. -(dialling) (phone vibrating) Yeah? PAPI: Bobby. You're late. I got the money. PAPI: I don't believe you. No, I got it. BOBBY: Believe me, I got it. I'll bring it to you. Where are you? Hi, Bobby. Debbie? Can he hear us? Just hang up the phone and run. BOBBY: Okay, listen to me. Tell him I got the money. Hang up the phone. BOBBY: It's not your fault. Just... Debbie, tell him I have the money, okay? And I know you know where the money is. Just tell him I have it. Debbie... listen to me. I'm sorry. I really meant to love you. BOBBY: Debbie... ...where are you? Debbie, where are you? Where are you? Debbie? Hello? -Hello? -(gunshot) Hello? (click) Hello? (clears throat) Debbie, uh... Wait a minute. I got the money. 1 (bell dings) (clears throat) What'd they say? What-what'd the admiral say? What'd the admiral say? Admiral washed his hands of the whole thing. Navy turned their back. Where's the money? There was no money, Stig. What? There was no money. Of course there is. I gave Quince the money. Right, and Quince gave it to Deb, and Deb is dead. Papi killed her. Fuck it. We should go down to Mexico. We'll lure them all down, then take every one of them out, kill them all. And then what? Well, at least Quince and Papi would be dead. And then what? Oh, you-you just want to let them skate? You don't get it, do you, Stig? I mean, God bless you, you still think there's some kind of code. There is no code. You followed every order the Navy gave you, they kicked you in the teeth. There is no code, Stig. No one fights for the Navy, okay? It's not about the Navy. You fight for the guy that's fighting next to you. That doesn't mean anything to you? I'm going to Mexico. All right, and just so you know, my code... my code saved your life. There's three inches between your heart and your shoulder. My bullet goes three inches left, you'd be dead. And I wouldn't be here, all right? 'Cause Quince only decided to kill me because I let you live. What, you think I missed? Huh? Is that what you think? You think I missed? When have you ever seen me miss? You stay here. I'm going to Mexico. (door opens, bell dings) (door creaks shut) (knocks) (knocks) (sighs softly) (dialling) Our deal still stand? I give you the money, I walk away clean? STIG: Hola. Looks like you had a banner morning. You better have my money. Right here, every penny. Where's Bobby? Ah, we had a philosophical falling out. Open your trunk. I just want your word, okay, that you and your boys-- Ferret-Nose Julio, all of them-- you'll help me kill Commander Quince. Who's Commander Quince? (gunfire) That's him. (men shouting in Spanish) Mr. Stigman, you promised me $43 million for killing everyone on this ranch. Got the money right here, sir. Thing is, I promised Papi the $43 million, too, so I'm afraid you two are gonna have to duke it out. Maybe he and I will just kill you instead and split the money. What do you say, Papi? 50% of $40 million? Better than 100% dead, right? He'll double-cross you; minute your back is turned, bullet in the head. 50-50. The guy up on the roof says 60-40. He ain't got a trustworthy bone in his body. I came back, didn't I? (helicopter approaching) (automatic gunfire) (men shouting in Spanish) (helicopter powering down) Fucking CIA. Red Rover, Red Rover! Whoever's got my $43.125 million better come the fuck on out. You offer him the money, too? I didn't call him. It's in the trunk! Why the fuck did you tell him that?! (shouts in Spanish) EARL: Thank you, Commander. Mr. Stigman, come on out and open the trunk. Nice and slow, now. (lid creaks) (horn honking repeatedly) EARL: Well, what do we got here? Sounds like a Mexican wedding. Is that my '64 Impala? (chuckles) That's correct. I told you. I know a guy. Now, who wants to see $43 million? For a minute there, I thought you had me chasing my tail. -You want to count it? -(gun cocks) Oh, if you're shorting me, I know where to find you. So we're good? Did I not give you my word? That's right. Then don't treat me like an asshole. I'll try my best. You and Mr. Stigman are free to go. -BOBBY: Yes, sir. -EARL: I trust you can find -your own way home. -That's right. -What are you doing, Bobby? -Let's go. STIG: I'm not gonna let them get away with the money. Let's go. I hate these teeth. Look, they're not just gonna let us go, -and I don't want to go. -I got a plan. Hey, I got my M-16, I got my grenade launcher, -I got my M-4. Let's do this shit. -I got a plan. Don't worry about it. I got a plan. I'm capable of coming up with a plan. Well, it better be a goddamn good one. It's a good plan. Make it rain. (device beeps) (grunts) (groaning) (bullets ricocheting) That was your plan? To blow up $43 million? Yeah, that's why it's a brilliant plan. Nobody expected it. Go! (cattle mooing) (gunfire) Come on, come on! Move it! Move, you dumb assholes. Move it! You coming? Go ahead. I'll be right behind you. Don't miss. I never miss. (grunts) (clicks tongue) Told you. (cattle bellowing) (creaking) (mooing) Stig. Stig! Don't do it. Don't do it. Playtime's over. No more fucking around. Now... drop your weapon. Tell Mr. Stigman to do the same. You tell him. EARL: It's real simple. We can all make a deal or we can all die. I'm not making any deals. Talk to your man, Bobby. Be the smart one. You think Tres Cruces is the only stash we got? We got 20 more. We got money everywhere. You're not gonna change a damn thing. Stig. Yeah? You're my people, right? That's correct. (exhales) You good? Never better. We're not people, though. This makes us family. All right, brother. STIG: Hey, Senor Einstein, you're looking kind of fucked-up sitting there, man. You all right? Mow my lawn. Adios, puto. STIG: Well, you know what was so cool? -What? -When you rolled in, in that '64 Impala. -You liked that? -I mean, you looked badass. -Yeah, that's right. -I was like, holy shit! -Oh, listen, one more thing. -Look at my man. -One more thing. One more thing. -What? Give me your gun. Give me your gun. Oh, you're not serious. Yes, I am. -Thank you. -You're really gonna do this after everything we've been through? Arm or a leg? This is not gonna make you feel better. Leg, because leg is, you know, there's more flesh, there's not as much bone. -You know, the arm... -Know what you are? -It's gonna make me feel real... -You are a petty... -(gunshot) -Oh, fucking son of a bitch! -Hurts, doesn't it? -You know you could've killed me! -Is that right? Three more inches to the left... you wouldn't be winking at waitresses anymore. Oh, I'd still wink. I just wouldn't be able to do anything about it. You know me, I don't miss. -I never miss. -Don't you dare try... When's the last time you saw me miss? You gonna carry my ass all the way the fuck home. When's the last time you saw me miss? -Oh, shit, man! -(laughs) -It burns. -That's correct. (Stig groans) You know, I shot you when I didn't know who you were, -before we were family. -Hey, well... -There's a difference. -Well, we're family now. I shot you because I know who you are. Oh, man. No, man, that ain't right. They definitely got the look. Assholes in windshield sunglasses. Practically CIA uniform. Can I get you boys anything else? Are your doughnuts any good? Tell you the truth, they're pretty lousy. Can't tell you how happy we are to hear that. Take care. I saw that. -Saw what? -You winked. -Ah, it's a twitch. -Yeah, right. You know, for a guy who just blew up $43 million, all of a sudden, you are a very generous tipper. Who says I blew up $43 million? -What are you saying? -Not saying anything. -What are you hearing? -I'm hearing something. -You're saying something. -If you're hearing it, it's only because you're hearing it, not 'cause I'm saying it. How much did you keep? $2 million? That's, like, one each. Oh, so now you get half? Well, I shot half the guys. So? $2 million? (gun cocks, fires) www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Able 2015