(UPBEAT MUSIC) Captions by James Brown. Edited by Desney Shaw. www.able.co.nz Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. Copyright Able 2017 (HIP`HOP MUSIC) I started dancing to escape my problems. Both my parents died when I was very young, and I still have a lot of grief that I'm dealing with. The beat of the music gives me space to think about my family, and that's when I remember them. My name is Octaves Sylver. I'm 26. I'm a former refugee, and I'm a Congolese Kiwi. I've been in New Zealand for 11 years, and Aotearoa has given me so much. I'm really excited about my future, but I can't stop thinking about my past. My mum passed away when I was 3, and I have no idea what happened. I've completely lost contact with my birth family. These are questions I need answered. I haven't been brave or confident enough to deal with all of this until now. War broke out in Congo in 1987, and me and my dad fled to Gabon. Life was good there, until he passed away when I was 13, leaving me feeling all alone. Thankfully I was accepted in New Zealand as a refugee, and since then I've lived in Hamilton with my adopted family, who I met through church. I'm very blessed. Having them in my life is awesome, but I'm still very desperate to find out about my birth family. I'm not gonna rest until I find them. And my search steps up now. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) Hey, bro, how's it? Good. How are you? Not bad. How are you? What's this place? Um, this is Makoua. Apparently I was there when I was 3. It's my mum's... town,... village. I'm just going to have a look on Facebook and see if I can, I dunno, find anyone that might happen to have the last name. She definitely looks Congolese. Do you think she looks like me? I can see the nose. That's definitely like you. Like me with makeup, eh? And a wig. (LAUGHS) I mean, she's got the same last name. Maybe she's a cousin. I'm trying to see if there's any group pages in Makoua. I've just found a Facebook page, which is a bit surprising that they actually have a... Facebook page. How many people are on it? There's, like 3450 people. So, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna get in contact with them ` you know, reach them and...? You got nothing to lose, you know. I could put a post on the` a public post on the page and see who replies. Basically, I'm introducing myself, giving my full name, where I was born, wanting to find any information, cos I have nothing. Also thanking them in advance. Going, going, gone. So, I guess we wait and see what happens. Father God, I'm just praying that with the post that I've put up online, that you will touch someone. And I just pray that you look over me tonight as I wait for this answer to hopefully come in the morning. Amen. (EXCITING MUSIC) Your brothers and sisters ` there's lots of them. Introduce yourself to the members of your family and they will help you out. They will show you around. Just received a message from a man who lives in my mum's town. He knows the family, and he's gonna connect me to some of my cousins. And we're gonna set up for a Skype session. Now, that's` that's huge. This is a moment that I've dreamed of for most of my life, really. So I'm just gonna have to tell the family and talk to them about what this really means for me. (UPBEAT MUSIC) What up? What up? About to have lunch with the whanau in H-town. This how we do it. We're hungry. What have you been up to, Octaves? Um, I've actually been doing some research online. I put up a post on a page that I found, and one guy private messaged me. He gave me four names for my cousins. That's awesome news. So, what are you hoping will come out of this? (SIGHS) Um, answers. If I get to talk to the key people in the family, like my direct aunties and uncles, I'm hoping they will give me answers to... all the questions I have. Even about your mum? Like, you've talked about her dying when you were 3, and it's like` But you've always wondered... did that happen? Is she dead? There's all these questions, eh? Yes, I'm hoping my auntie will tell me more about her. She was the youngest in the family, so,... yeah. I've also been thinking about maybe possibly going back home myself to find out more on the spot. Cool. Family trip ` everybody. We're all going to Africa. Yeah,... nah. (ALL LAUGH) I'm just really excited for you. I think that's awesome. I mean, you're part of our family, but you're also part of another family. And, yeah, I just think it's awesome if you can find out who they are, so that you can find out who you are. Yeah, exactly. I actually couldn't believe that I've got family on the other side that are still there and I'm just one step closer of finding out who they are. Wow, it's really amazing, eh, to have a lot of support from everyone, and I'm feeling really, really, really blessed. I haven't had any contact with my mum's family since I was 5, and I'm 26 now, so it's a lot of years. What if they don't have any information about my mother? What if they know but they don't want to tell me, or they just don't know how to tell me? I guess I will find out when I Skype them. (DOG BARKS) OK, here we are. Today I get to speak to my auntie. This is quite a big moment in my life, because I'm quite desperate to find out what exactly happened to my mother ` how she passed away and where is the rest of the family. I'm really hoping that my auntie can give me some answers today. I'm feeling quite nervous, sick in the stomach a little bit. (SKYPE BLOOPS) (SKYPE PHONE RINGS) (SPEAKS FRENCH) Oui? Comment ca va? Ca va tres bien, mon amour. Ouai? Ca va? Ca va aller... (SPEAKS FRENCH) (SPEAKS FRENCH) (SPEAKS FRENCH) (SPEAKS FRENCH EMOTIONALLY) That was one of the most emotional and intense moments in my life, really. It does feel a little bit like... like just a bit of closure. Now there's definitely no doubt in my mind that I will be travelling to Congo. I'll be asking Campbell to come along and support me. Together we will find other members of my birth family. So, thinking about all the hard stuff ` yes, it's hard, but then when I dance it makes it easier. (HIP HOP MUSIC) Like, it's an escape. For me it's just like a natural thing, where I'll go and, you know, think about me, think about my family and my future. So, how's it going, bro? It's gonna be a good trip. But I don't know if they're still gonna... remember me as well as they did when I was 3. Or if they're gonna want me to stick around for longer, or if they're just gonna say hello and... I don't fit in because I'm too different, because I haven't been there for quite a few years. Be yourself, man. Be who you are now. I'm always gonna be me, no matter what. That doesn't stop the other side, though. Yeah, so... But I know I'll get through it. It might be easy, might be hard. Might be harder than I think. But it's gonna happen. My Congolese friends Gabrielle and Christian are going to give me the low-down on how to behave in the Congo. I am so hungry. I wonder what's on the menu. There's the crib. Let's go. Welcome. Thank you. OK. You're welcome. (SPEAKS FRENCH) Oui, ca va. Yum. Ah, yeah. Yeah, going to Makoua. Wow! (LAUGHS) Ooh. It's up, up, up in the north of Congo, Makoua. Don't stare at them, as you are the youngest, going to see oldest people. Don't... present your hand to them. Just say hello, wait till they're gonna grab your hand. (LAUGHS) Ah! Yes. So... 'hello'. (LAUGHS) Can I look at you? Yeah. OK. You missed something. The way Octaves likes to wear a cap ` please, you have to remove your cap. Never, never, never. Even here, yeah. No, it's OK. Yeah. Well, I'm just gonna... Just gonna leave the hat now! (ALL LAUGH) You can apologise first ` 'Sorry if you think that I'm doing things differently. 'I want to learn more about my parents' culture.' Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, they're gonna understand you. Man, they're funny as. Now I think I know how to greet my family. No hat, can't be doing eye contact. It's gonna get interesting. It's only a few weeks now till we're booked to leave. Cam was asking to share my story at church. To be honest, I don't know how I will feel on stage, talking to everyone. I don't know how open and honest I will be. All the information is quite new and raw to me at the moment. So having to share it straight away may be a little bit of a struggle. So, I made the call, and by this time I'm nervous, scared, don't know what to expect. For the first time, I've got someone to tell me about my mum. You know, and that was it. And for her, having to tell me about her sister brought some flashbacks as well. So, yeah, we spent about two hours on Skype, and about 45 minutes of it was just tears. It was very... very emotional. And, yeah,... I was... Yeah. She said, 'We've been looking for you,' and it just felt like, 'That's my blood talking to me on the other side of the world.' So, yeah... Move forward to now, suddenly you come and you go, 'I've decided I wanna... go to Congo.' We started to sort of, I guess, try and figure out what that would look like. Getting all the jabs ` man, I've gone through so many needles for you. Had to drink all sorts of weird stuff. I've got rabies now. I'm not sure what's going on. But as you anticipate going home, what does this mean for you? I mean, it's something that I wanted to do so I can not just move on in life, but I can have closure. I feel like after this trip, I will be somehow complete. Hey, man. You go, you go. How was it? Was it tough for you, or...? Yeah, some stuff was a bit hard to come out. I didn't want to cry on stage, either. Yeah. Yeah, I think it was` I'm happy I shared it. When I said, 'Can you come?' You said, 'I think I need to tell it.' Yeah, it's freeing me as well, cos I think I keep quite a lot in. So I think lately I've been trying to learn to let it out, share it, or just write it down so it's not in me so much. Yeah. It's gonna come out. Like, when we get there, you won't be able to hold it back, I think. By the way, I got the email yesterday from Malcolm, the guy that we sent the visa applications to, who's doing it on our behalf in London. And we're all go. We have visas for Congo. Definitely happy now. Congo, here we come. Really looking forward to going home and uncovering all of this. But I'm also looking forward to actually coming home here and settling, finally having all the blanks being filled up. That's basically where my proper future begins. Here we are. How you feeling? This is it. This is it. It's, like, a once-in-a-lifetime thing. I think once I get on the plane it's gonna kick in. I think it's an awesome journey that you're on, not just the travel but the family that you're going to meet. I mean, you're our family, you're our boy, and we love you ` like, you're just one of our boys ` but this is a whole 'nother part of you, and I'm really excited for you to meet them. Remember, you've got home here, but you've got home there too. Love you, mate. Love you. I guess there's been more sad events than happy ones. But I feel like I can now get through anything if I've gone through all of this already at 26. The moment has arrived. I'm nervous, and I'm happy, I'm sad cos of the time wasted, you know, but it's gonna be good. That's our line over there. Congo, here we come. Peace! (UPBEAT MUSIC) Son of Congo is back. Ah! Look. (LAUGHS) My first ever school. Yeah, good memories. (ENGINE REVS) When you have to get out to push your own taxi. This is Congo! (LAUGHS) Well, we're off to Makoua. 23 years later. My cousin is taking us. She's gonna be our tour guide. (ENERGETIC VIOLIN MUSIC) I'm home. Home, home, home. Here we are, just doing the tour of Makoua on foot. Those are my cousins back there. And that's my uncle over here. Really good to be home. It's good to have family. (AFRICAN POP SONG PLAYS) Eh, eh, eh, eh. (LAUGHS) Apparently this is where I was baptised when I was a few months old. My beautiful mother was part of the choir. So I'm guessing she used to sit over there somewhere. I've got a photo outside the church here, which is actually this spot over here, where my mum took a photo with me when I was a chubby baby... in this very same spot here. And I've just returned 25 years later, by myself. (UPLIFTING AFRICAN CHORAL MUSIC) We're just gonna go to the cemetery now to see my mum. And this is, like, the first time for me. I've got this towel on cos it's, like, 31 degrees here, it's really hot. (STIRRING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) It was good to finally be there and touch her tomb and... Yeah, it was good. I feel like I'm a bit more freed up now. (UPBEAT MUSIC) Two weeks gone. It's been an incredible time, really, here. It's been amazing. I feel like it's something that I needed to do ` come home ` and I've done it. And I feel complete within myself. I just feel like I've got more of a sense of family. (GENTLE MUSIC) As for now, it's time to... think about the future a bit more seriously now, since this page is now... not closed, but it's a good chapter. It's a very good chapter. And until next time. Peace! Captions by James Brown. Edited by Desney Shaw. www.able.co.nz Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. Copyright Able 2017 Supporting local content so you can see more of New Zealand on air.