Captions by IMS Subtitles. www.able.co.nz Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. Able 2017 'Winner, winner, chicken dinner ` 'Those words had been dancing around my head all night. 'I mean, it's Vegas lore, that phrase. Just ask any of the old-time pit bosses, they'll know. 'It was a Chinese dealer at Binion's who was first credited with it. 'He would shout it every time he dealt blackjack. 'That was over 40 years ago, and the words still catch.' Winner, winner, chicken dinner! 'Winner, winner, chicken dinner. 'Yeah, try it. 'I had heard it at least 14 times that night. I couldn't lose. 'First of all, what I was doing wasn't illegal. 'Certain institutions and people frowned upon it, but it's legal. And not everyone can do it. 'Just those with gifted minds. I have a gifted mind. 'That's what got me into all this mess. I was counting cards, and I was up over $640,000.' All right! I'm just gonna have to split those tens. Splitting tens. Splitting tens again. I've been winning and losing for years. 'We used hand signals, too. Folded arms, the table's hot.' 'A touch to the eye, we need to talk.' 'And a hand running through perfect flowing hair meant only one thing.' 'Get out. Now.' 'Winner, winner, chicken dinner.' # "Time To Pretend" - Mgmt # I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw # I'm in the prime of my life # Let's make some music, make some money # Find some models for wives # This is our decision, to live fast and die young # We've got the vision, now let's have some fun # We're fated to pretend # To pretend # We're fated to pretend # To pretend # I'll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms # I'll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world # I'll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home # Yeah, I'll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone # We're fated to pretend # To pretend # I said yeah, yeah, yeah # Yeah, yeah, yeah (PEN CLICKS) Premed. 4.0 GPA. 44 MCATs. President, American Legion Math League. TA to Professors Wilkins and Sanders, both of whom are friends of mine, and wrote glowing recommendations. You were accepted early here at Harvard Med, pending graduation from MIT. It's very impressive. Thank you. The Robinson Scholarship is comprehensive, as you know. It's a free ride. And free rides don't come easy. Absolutely. We have 76 applicants this year, only one of whom will get the scholarship and most of whom have resumes just as impressive as yours. Right. Professor Phillips, some kids grow up wanting to play for the Red Sox. You know, some grow up wanting to be, I don't know, a fireman. I grew up... Well, really, I just wanted to come here to Harvard Med. And now that I've gotten accepted, it seems to only come down to the money. Which I don't really have. So,... what I'm trying to say is that I really, really need this scholarship. Did you rehearse that? Yeah. Like, 14 times in front of the mirror. Unfortunately, desire doesn't figure into this much. The Robinson is going to go to someone who... ..dazzles. Somebody who just jumps off the page. Oh, well, then, I'm also involved in a science competition. We're building a robotic wheel that can navigate itself using a proprietary GPS system. Well, I'm designing the system. So... Right. Ben, last year, the Robinson went to Hyum Jae Wook, a Korean immigrant who has only one leg. Well, I have both my legs. Have you considered cutting one of them off? That was a joke. Ben, it's all about the essay. You need to really explain to us what makes you special. What life experience separates you from all the rest. Life experience. What can you tell me, Ben, that's going to dazzle me? I'm so sorry I'm late. Where is your jacket? Oh, I got it. I got it. It's right here. This is no way for the new assistant manager to come to work. Congratulations. How does $8 an hour sound? $8? Wow! Wow. That's great, Warren. Thank you. Thank you. You slept with him, didn't you? Er, yes, I did. Yes, I did. Yes, you did. I'll sleep with him, too, and I'll get $8 an hour. So Palmer finishes up his lecture, right? And I say to him, "Professor Palmer, you're gonna need at least 14 capacitance probes to get the kind of results you're looking for." Then he says to me, "Miles, don't you think that's a little excessive?" I swear to God, Ben, I get up in front of the entire class and say, "You can never have enough capacitance probes." (LAUGHS) Oh, my God! What the hell is wrong with you? Huh? Oh, nothing. I hope nothing. You just got promoted, man. You should be happy. I gotta write this essay for the Robinson Scholarship, and I have nothing. And the reason that I have nothing is cos, well, I've done nothing. Oh, give me a break, Ben. What? You have everything. You blow me out of the water, and I'm a cerebral stud. Is that nothing? It doesn't dazzle. Hey. It dazzles me, mister. Ever since I was 16, I crushed exams, I took on extra-curriculars, I showed up early. I even sat up at the front and I stayed late. Man, I gave up everything. I gave up fun. I gave up sex. I don't think you gave up sex. OK, Maybe not sex. Yeah, you didn't give up sex. Alright, not sex, but... It just annoys me that the one thing that is stopping me from going to Harvard Med is money. Tuition fees and living expenses alone cost over $300,000. $300,000. It's outrageous. It's astronomically high. I get that. I just thought there was more to life than just money. (SIGHS) Well, look at the bright side,... ..I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance. (LAUGHS) (ALL) # For he's a jolly good fellow # For he's a jolly good fellow # For he's a jolly good fellow Ooh! Thank you. # Which nobody can deny # Happy birthday, honey. Thanks, Mom. Love and kisses. Make a wish. OK. Yes! Bravo. Congratulations, Benjamin. Miles did the frosting on that. It took me five minutes to figure out it was the... Fibonacci series where the next number is 21. Now you're slipping, Cam. You owe six bucks. No, I didn't eat any Buffalo wings. Really? Great. We're not doing it that way. We're just dividing equally. So let's say you pay. I got it. No! I got it. I got it. I got it. It's your birthday. You're as broke-ass as I am. I just wish now I had eaten some wings. So, I nailed the specs on the 2.09 last night, after 19 cups of coffee. Check it out. You are kidding. You're kidding! This is good. Miles, this is good. It better be cos this is what we've been working for since we got here. This is called destiny. You know, there is the... Thank you. There is the possibility that we might not win. Oh, yeah? Bite your tongue! Bite your damn tongue! Look, guys,... ..we don't date, we don't travel, we don't have any money. The only thing that we do have is the 2.09 Competition. If we can't even win that, what's the point? Hey, hey. Look at this! (CHEERING) No, no, no, no! (ALL CHEER) Yeah, we suck. Your father would be so proud of you, Ben. Yeah. Do you remember anything about him? Not really. Maybe when he shaved? Yeah, I think I watched him shave. So, what are your plans for the rest of the night? I don't know. I'll probably just go back and work on that essay. Ben, you're working too hard. Between the job and school and the 2.09, you've had no time for just yourself. You have to squeeze in a little time for fun, Ben. You only turn 21 once. And it goes by very fast. OK. Alright. Good night. Alright, good night. Don't come home before 3. Alright. Alright. Now, who can explain Newton's method and how you use it? Er, you can use it to solve non-linear equations. That's impressive. That's really good. I'm very impressed by that, especially since my class is called Non-linear Equations. (ALL LAUGH) Somebody tell me something I don't already know. Anyone? Bueller. Anyone? Bueller. Erm, Newton stole it. I'm sorry? Newton stole it. Joseph Raphson published this same method 50 years earlier. And if the start value is too far removed from true zero, it fails. I'm sorry, what's your name? Ben. Ben Campbell. Ben. So Ben Campbell suggests that Joseph Raphson was the original author. If that's the case, why didn't he get credit? Well, for one thing, Newton had a better publicist. And for another, after 1700, we know very little about Raphson other than he discovered the Kabbalah 300 years before Madonna. Alright, let's give Ben a chance for some extra credit, shall we? We're gonna call this the game show host problem, alright? Ben, suppose you're on a game show. You're given a chance to choose from three different doors. Behind one of the doors is a new car. Behind the other two, goats. Which door would you choose, Ben? Er, door number one? Ben chooses door number one. Alright, now, the game show host, who, by the way, knows what's behind all the other doors, decides to open another door. Let's say he chooses door number three. Behind which sits a goat. Now, Ben, game show host comes up to you. He says, "Do you wanna stay with door one or go with door two?" Is it in your interest to switch your choice? Yeah. Well, wait. Remember, the host knows where the car is so how do you know he's not playing a trick on you? Using reverse psychology to get you to pick a goat? I wouldn't really care. I mean, my answer's based on statistics. Based on variable change. Variable change? He asked a simple question. Which changed everything. Enlighten us. When I was originally asked to choose a door, I had a 33.3% chance of choosing right. But after he opens one of the doors and then re-offers me the choice, it's now 66.7% if I choose to switch. So, yeah, I'll take door number two, and thank you for that extra 33.3%. Exactly. People, remember, if you don't know which door to open, always account for variable change. See, most people wouldn't take the switch out of paranoia, fear, emotions. But Mr Campbell, he kept emotions aside and let simple math get his ass into a brand-new car! (ALL LAUGH) Which is better than that goat you've been driving around campus. That's it. Thank you. Your graded papers are here. Pick them up on your way out. I am invincible. Guys, Jill Taylor, 10 o'clock. Oh, man. That's brutal. You know, you should just ask her out, man. It's not like she's a rocket scientist. Oh, wait, she is. Well, why don't you ask her? Cos I'm, er, I'm already dating someone. Yeah, your right hand doesn't count, Miles. It does the way I use it. It does the way I use it. Hey, you know what? Maybe I don't even want to go out with her. (BOTH LAUGH) Yeah, that's funny. You say you want a life experience? Well, I'd say getting down with that would definitely qualify. Cam! Boy genius. You have to follow me now. Excuse me? You have to follow me now. Come on. Where are we going? You'll see. Oh, our honoured guest. How you doing, Ben? I'm OK. You ever been in this room before? Er, yeah. Organic Chemistry in my freshman year. How'd you do? Well, I got an A. Professor Rosa... Micky, please. Is there a problem with my paper? You found a more efficient method for finding true zero than Newton and that is not so much of a problem as it is a major ass-kicking. Newton has been dead for over 250 years, so it wasn't exactly a fair fight. Is this some kind of a math club? (ALL SNIGGER) Don't be rude, people. Kianna. Fisher. Choi. Jill. You ever studied blackjack? Er, no. No, really? Well, it's really simple. You play against the dealer. You're given two cards. Face cards are worth 10 points. The closest to 21 wins. If you go over, you lose. If the dealer goes over, they lose. It's the most popular card game in the world. It's a game with memory. Cards drawn are the past, ones to come are future. And the best part, it's beatable. Are you talking about counting cards? No. I'm talking about getting very, very rich. You count cards, right? All of you? As a team, yes. When? Weekends. And Christian holidays. Where? Vegas, baby. Why are you telling me? Let's just say a spot opened up on our roster. How? Jimmy got a job at Google. Jimmy got a job at Google? Yeah, it's catchy, I know. If you're making so much money at this, why did he take it? I said Google, not Sizzler. Yeah... This is crazy. No, Ben. This is profitable. Yeah, I can't do it. So, I'm sorry. No, Ben. This is profitable. Yeah, I can't do it. So, I'm sorry. Come on, Ben. It'll be fun. Yeah, Ben, it'll be fun. No, it's not that. It's... I just got a promotion at my job, so it's kind of not a good time for me. We pay better. Look, I can't just go to Vegas on weekends. Why not? MIT's on cruise control for you, you got into Harvard Med. What do you have to worry about? How did you know that? I like to take an interest in my students. Well, I'm also really involved in the science competition. You know, the 2.09 Competition? (ALL SNIGGER) Wait, no. I'm building a car that drives by itself. I've been doing it with my friends for over a year, so it's kind of important. Ben, let the car drive by itself. Listen, you not only have a gifted mind, but you're also composed. You don't give in to your emotions. You think logically. Ben, you were born for this. You'll have more fun than you've had in your entire life. It's perfect. Thank you. But I'm really not the right guy. So I'm sorry. Ben. I hope this little conversation we just had will remain private. No, of... No. You're one of my favourite new students, and I'd hate to lose you, if you know what I mean. I'm just not sure it's me. It's boring. It's boxy. It's blue. How is that not you? So, how much is this thing gonna run me? Oh, well, let's see, the belt's $49.95, minus 15%. The jacket's $589.99. The pants, $285.99, minus 10% for both. The shirt's not on sale, but I can knock off 5% from the $69.99. The shoes were marked down from $155, so you're looking at $1,042.68. I'm pretty good with numbers. Yeah. I guess so. So let me know when I can ring that up for you guys. Yes. Thank you. Thanks. Hey. Hey. Could you help me? Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. I'm looking for a tie. Oh, well, we're having a 15% sale on the ties. And if you want, I could probably get you an additional 10% with my employee discount. This one's nice. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Um, this one has actually been treated with our patented Nano-Tex fabric protection, you know, to repel... liquids and stains. Well, that's really functional. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty functional. Face me. Stay still. Despite being tempted by the Nano-Tex repellent,... I'm actually not here for a tie, Ben. I came to see you. You did? Blackjack's a great game. No, look, it's easy to learn and there's really not as much strategy to it as people think. I grew up on it, actually. You grew up on it? Yeah. Every night after dinner, my father and I would play. I knew basic strategy before I was, like, 9 years old. If I won, he'd take me out for ice cream. And what if he won? He'd still take me out for ice cream. Oh, yeah. Sure, yeah, he's your dad. Ben, you should feel the thrill of winning more money than you can possibly imagine. I think you should come to Vegas. Cos I'm guessing you could probably use a break from this place. (SIGHS) I can't. I'm sorry. I... I just can't. OK. If you change your mind, you know where we meet. Yeah. You're welcome any time. You know, I think the best thing about Vegas is you can become anyone you want. What's the count? Plus 9. No. Plus 11. No. Dude, I lost count 20 cards ago. Don't call me dude. Plus 9? You're following Jill. People! We had a total of 76 cards that came out of the deck. 23 were high cards with a value of minus one. 17 were neutral with no value, the rest were low cards with a value of plus one. Plus 13. The count. It's plus 13. Yes. Pull up a chair. Stop. What is it? Uh, plus 12. Eggs. '12 eggs in a carton.' Now what? Plus 9. 'Cats have nine lives.' Cat. Meow! Plus 16. 'Sweet 16.' 'Every card had a value. A high card, minus one. 'A low card, plus one. The rest, zero.' Plus 13. Plus 8. Plus 9. Plus 12. 'I was studying all day, every day. 'But not physics, chemistry, engineering. 'I was back to simple math, used in ways I could never have imagined. 'The team had a system. And to go unnoticed, 'we created a whole new language. 'Words were numbers, and numbers were words.' Plus 17. Magazine. Plus 6. Gun. Plus 15. Pay cheque. Plus 12. Is this chemistry review? Plus 14. Ring. Plus 16. Sweet. Use it in a sentence. Man, that sugar's sweet. (ALL LAUGH) 'Because I knew the count, I knew which cards were left in the deck. 'That's how I knew what to bet.' You're doing great. Micky, I just wanna let you know that I'm only doing this for medical school, which is $300,000. I mean, if I can get anything close to that, then I'm done. Well, in the first place, Ben, it's not "if", it's "when". And second of all, I get it. I completely understand. You do? Yeah. It's a means to an end. Look, they've got this new computer software that reads people's faces, so who knows how long this will last for us? What if we get caught? Our system keeps us under the radar, you'll see. Anyway, counting cards isn't illegal. So, there's no danger in it at all? No, Ben, it's safe. Very safe. You think you can beat the system? This is the system, beating you back! You wanna count cards, you do it in Atlantic City! Get him up. Come on, kid! Count to five. Count to five! What? Count to five so I know you don't have brain damage, you can go home. Start with one. One, two, three, four, five. Good. Now, stop counting! Let's go. You're crazy, everybody knows to split eights. Not against a 10. It's a sucker play. You're choosing to play two hands against the highest up card a dealer can have, right? Against a five or a six, it'd be fine. Against a 10 or an ace, it's a sucker play. Save it, all right? Jill's right. Choi, explain to Ben how we do? Oh, all right. So, our team is divided into two kinds of players, spotters and big players, right? So if you think that this table is the casino floor, then salt and pepper shakers are your spotters. Spotters are sitting at the various blackjack tables and betting the table minimum. They never fluctuate their bet. They never raise the bet or play any kind of progressive system. That's how we stay under the radar, and never get caught. Exactly. They sit at the table, bet the table min and keeping the count, waiting for a deck to get hot. When a deck gets hot, the spotter at that table signals in the big player. Mustard. Mustard, honey. Please. Well, I'm always the mustard, so... When I get the signal, I stumble over like a drunk rich kid, or a zoned out dot-com millionaire, and I throw down big money. So the big player bets big and still keeps the count. When the deck cools, he cashes in. It's not as easy as it sounds. Oh, yeah, it's not, because if Grey Poupon here ever loses the count, it's up to the spotter to give him the signal to get out. And you know the signals, right? Yeah. Show us. OK, what's this? The deck's hot. Uh, we need to talk. The deck's cooling. And get out. Get out now. Good. I think he's gonna be ready for our little trial run tomorrow. There's a trial run? Mm. Where? You'll find out. Dun-dun-dun! Hey. (KNOCKS ON DOOR) You Ben? Yeah. Follow me. This way. (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS) Go, go. You go. No more bet. No more bet. Come on, money. Today, 14! Whose side are you on? So, Henry, did I tell you I read about this place in a magazine? You wanna put that money down? Yeah. $300. $300. $300. You bet, sir? Oh. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. All right. Nice. Can I get another drink, please? Thank you. Agh! What the hell are you doing? I haven't done anything! Get off me! Get off, I haven't done anything! Please. Please let go. What's the count? Please don't hurt me. What's the count? I haven't done anything! What's the count?! (PANTS) Plus 18. Oh, you've gotta be kidding. Congratulations, Ben. We had to know you'd keep the count under pressure. Welcome to the team. We didn't mean it. It's OK, Campbell, I cried inside that bag. (FIREWORKS CRACKLE) Fisher and Jimmy have always been the big players. I want you to take Jimmy's place. I've never done this. I know that and I understand. But I don't trust the girls, and Choi is, well, Choi. I've taught for 14 years and never had a student as impressive as you. Your brain is like a goddamn Pentium chip. You're gonna do great. You know how I know that? Cos you remind me of myself 25 years ago. You in? Yeah. Yeah, I'm in. Good. Good. There's one more thing, Ben, and this is important. We're counting cards, we're not gambling. We're following a specific set of rules and playing a system. Right. I've seen how crazy it can get, and sometimes, people lose control. They give in to their emotions. You will not. You understand? Yeah. Get some rest. Some rest? Yeah, we're leaving tomorrow. Tomorrow? I have a Quantitative Literacy paper due Tuesday. No, you don't. I don't? No, I spoke to Professor O'Reilly, said you were helping me with a special assignment, he understood, so he gave you an A. You see, Ben, amazing things can happen from the inside. You'll get a call about details later. Did the girls go on ahead? Oh, yeah. They got a lot more bags to check, you know? OK. Wait for us by security. Ben and I will hit the head. No, I'm good. I really think you should go. It's a long flight. I'm OK. We're going to the bathroom. Honestly, I really don't have to go. I don't care. Look, I really don't have to... Please just shut up. Why are you looking over there? I... I don't care. Shut up. Get in here. What are you doing? Let's go. Pull down your pants. What? Shh. Don't ask questions. Shove these in your underwear. Why? You want me to do it? Cos, I swear to God, I will. Why can't we leave it in the bag? It shows up on the scanner. We're not about to have them confiscate $250,000. $250,000? No. Why do I have to do it? Cos you're the donkey boy. You really suck at not asking questions. What's a donkey boy? Step forward, sir. Thanks. (IMITATES DONKEY) In the basket, please. Act casual, think casual, be casual. ...keys, any metal objects. Laptops out, please. Thank you. If you have liquids in a Ziploc bag, please show them to us now. Thank you. You're welcome. Your boarding pass. Sir? You forgot your bag. Oh. Thanks. # "I Am The Unknown" ` The Aliens # I am # unknown. # I am # unknown. # I am # unknown. # See the man at the window to the sun # with his eyes looking down # at the people with their eyes on the ground. # I am # unknown. # If you don't look back it'll be all right now. # If it's only light, it'll be all right now. # If you don't look back, it'll be all right now. # It depends how you feel at the end of the night now. (LAUGHTER) Nice going, Campbell. Hey, Ben. Basic strategy says you should hit that. # If you don't look back it'll be all right now. # Burt, Moishe, Vladimir, Mona, Miss Sommers, your new identities are on the bar. So glad you could make it. Vladimir Stupnitsky? Your dad's a diplomat with the Russian consulate. You live in DC. Your hobbies are backgammon, chess and long walks on the beach. I don't like my name. Why not? Sierra Sommers? Do I look like a Sierra? You have a lot of clever outfits. Pretend you don't speak English. I thought this was legal. Why do we have to use fake names? It is. We use fake names and disguises. It's for the dealers. To make sure you're old enough and everyone can be different people in different casinos. Steal the Bible, you go to hell. Like I'm not going already. All right. Listen. Ben, all the casinos have cameras in the ceiling. They're called eyes in the sky. Order tonic water and lime and act drunk, and at all times, you don't know each other. Let me say that one more time, you do not know each other ever. Oh, and what's our motto? (ALL) Don't get caught counting. Thank you very much. How come you don't play? I did. I played for a long time, and I was the best. I'm retired now. It's best to go out when you're on top. Welcome to Vegas. Hold all bets. No more bets. Big money, now. Big money! Let me tell you about blackjack, honey. You ever hear of basic strategy? That sounds really complicated. Sierra Sommers from Charleston. Here to double my family's inheritance. I don't know. (LAUGHS) $10,000. Changing $10,000. Sweet. Too sweet. 'Eight. The count's still plus 16. '10. That's minus one. Count's plus 15. 'Eight. Still plus 15. 'Nine. Plus 15. 'Five. The count's 16.' 'Eights. Split eights.' Can I split those? Sir, please don't touch the cards. I'm sorry. 'Jack. Count's plus 15. '10. Plus 14. 'King. Nine. Plus 13. 'Jack. Plus 12. 'Nine. Still plus 12. 'Blackjack.' Whoo! Monkey! Monkey! What's a monkey? Face card. All right, face card. Come on, monkey. OK, monkey. No, no, no. Monkey! Monkey! Come on, give us a monkey! Monkey! Come on, monkey, monkey, monkey! Monkey! Monkey! Monkey! (ALL LAUGH) Whoo! All right, all right. Oh, God. I need to quit. Uh, could I colour up, please? Nice undies. What's this? It's last night's take. We split it five ways. So, what did you think? Yeah, it was fun. You were good. Really? Yeah. Came in quick off the count. You acted the part. You weren't afraid to play big, and got out when you were supposed to. And you made more money than Fisher. I was pretty nervous, actually. You know, but after a while, it felt kind of easy. (LAUGHS) Not for everyone. Yeah, it's just simple math. Good. We can do some serious damage with you. Erm, here's the thing I told Micky. You know, I'm only really doing this just to pay for medical school. You know, $300,000 and then I'm out. That's what they all say. No, really, I mean, I'm just doing this to pay for Harvard. It's just a means to an end for me. I believe you. Good. (PHONE RINGS) Hello? "We have a team meeting in five minutes." Team meeting. Hello? Hey. Hey. Where's everybody else? I don't know. Fisher was right behind us. Oh, Fisher, you didn't sleep. I did. (LAUGHS) With Ida. Ida? Mm. She's a dancer. I pulled her out of Sapphire. And Ida's her dancer name? Yeah. After her grandmother. (ALL LAUGH) Where's Kianna? Slots. Oh-ho-ho! Choi, where the hell you been? Unattended maid cart, ninth floor. I've been busy this morning. Let's get something clear. This is not camp. I'm not your counsellor. This is world-class money-making. Kianna, slots are for losers. Fisher, peelers are stealers. Choi? You made five grand last night so stop stealing nine-cent pens and everything on the maid's cart. It's embarrassing. But, Fisher, what the hell were you up to last night? What? Three times the spotters let you know the deck was cooling, but you kept on anyway. You either lost the count or lost your head. I don't wanna see it happen again. Jill, nice disguise last night. Ben, good work. You came out of that chute like a pro. Keep it up. Beginner's luck. Hey, Fisher. Win like a man, lose like a man. I didn't play into a cold deck three times. What's worse than a loser is someone who won't admit he played it wrong. Take it up with Ida. Who's Ida? Who the hell is Ida? Shut up. Who the hell is Ida? Shut up. There goes that pay cheque. Money plays. Money plays, up to the limit. How's she... How's she doing? Oh, that doesn't matter, man. Yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery. It's all what you do in the moment, baby. Just lost another property. Who is it this time, Caesar's or Mirage? Caesar's. That was a 14-year account. They opted to go with the new software. I know, Terry. Hey, Cole. We got absolutely murdered in pits four and five the last couple of nights. OK, Clark, I'll take a look at the tape. By the way, you... wanna lose the cigarette? No smoking in here, you know that. I appreciate it. End of an era, my friend. Ben. Time for school. I seem to keep waking up to you. Don't get used to it. I'm glad you came over this morning. I have something I wanna give you. Oh, yeah? Mm. I want you to have this. What's this? That's a lot of money. I've been saving for a long time. It's for medical school. I know it won't pay the whole way, but it should help. Ma, I can't take this. This is your money. You worked hard for this. Ma, I can't take this. This is your money. You worked hard for this. For precisely this reason. I wanna help pay for med school, Dr Campbell. You know what? You don't have to. Cos I got the Robinson Scholarship. Yep, they're gonna pay the whole way. Why didn't you tell me? Because I wanted it to be a surprise. And, actually, I just found out today. I can't believe it! Oh my God! I know! This is amazing. I am so proud of you! I knew the hard work would pay off. Yeah, I know. So, listen, you keep this, all right? It's yours. What are you doing? Huh? I'm just jumping up and down on my bed. What? You never did that when you were a kid? No. Not really, never. No. Right. Where were you this weekend? I tried calling you, like, 15 times. Yeah? I ended up having to go to New Hampshire to help my cousin move. You didn't bring your cell phone? Huh? Your cell? Your phone? You didn't bring that? No, I forgot it. I ended up leaving it, uh, here. So, you know... You missed a hell of a dorm party on Saturday. Oh, yeah? We almost had a girl there. Yeah. Republik? Yes. Let's do it! (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) She is an eight. No way. She's a 7.649. I was rounding up. I thought we agreed we weren't gonna round up. That's right. But if we win the 2.09, I'm asking her out. Wait. Ben? Ben, you only owe eight bucks. Hey. Can I get you a beer? Sure. Yeah? OK. Er, excuse me. Can I get two Bud Lights? How you doing? I'm OK. Yeah? Yeah. Thank you. Erm, are those your friends over there? Er, no. No, I've never seen them before in my life. Could you just excuse me for one second? Mm-hm. Guys, I'm serious. What are you doing? You're staring. Yeah, we know. Can you not? It's gonna freak her out, don't you think? I got a feeling we're a little more freaked out than she is right now. So, how do you know her? Did you take some self-help seminar? What? Jedi mind trick, huh? Jedi mind trick. Like that Luke. You will drink beer. Right. Right, right. There is a fortune on the table now, and it's all up to my dad. It's getting ridiculous. He actually needs to stop the table play, track down my uncle and take a loan. Are you serious? Yeah. They let him, and he does. He ends up with, like, two 19s and two 20s. The dealer turns over a 17. It's soft. He needs to take another card. Don't say a four. Is it a four? It's a four, yeah. Oh my God! Ouch! Not a great Christmas that year. So, what does he think about what you do? Does he know? Not a great Christmas that year. So, what does he think about what you do? Does he know? Oh, no, he's long gone, Ben. My dad's gone, too. I'm sorry. So, you know, when you came into the store to ask me to join the team, was that because... What? Well, you know, was it because Micky asked you to? Look, we've had three classes together. You gave that presentation on combinatorial algorithms that nobody understood. You're the smartest person in every one of those classes. That is why you're on the team. And that's why I came into the store. Oh. No, no, not so much... Oh, God. I'm so, so sorry. No. It's fine. It's not a problem. I don't know why I did that. Don't apologise. You sure? Yes. Shit, this is my stop. You're getting off here? Yeah. But, really, don't worry about it. I don't know, it's just cos we've been drinking, and... It's just we're on a team, we work together. I get it. Just don't feel bad about this. OK. Sure. Bye. 'My world was flashing by at a million miles a minute. 'I had saved over $100,000. 'Only $200,000 to go. 'But there was still one thing I couldn't get off my mind. 'The moment we left campus, 'the concept of vectors and formulas were replaced with counting, shuffle tracking 'knowing when to hit and knowing when to colour out. I was becoming a pro on all levels. 'I made more money in one trip to Vegas than I would have in 5 years, 9 months, 12 days and 6 hours 'at J Press Menswear. 'In Boston, I was just Ben Campbell. 'But in Vegas, I could be anyone I wanted.' You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna throw a half-mill down on the one hand. Come on! 'One night, I'd be the heir to a pharmaceutical fortune.' Could you make sure there's some champagne, maybe some strawberries waiting in there for me? I may not be alone. 'Then the hottest video game designer on the West Coast.' Oh! There it is! Winner, winner, chicken dinner! No, please, keep going. This video's priceless. 'I'm not gonna lie.' 'It did get, well, a little confusing sometimes.' "(PHONE RINGS)" "Operator, how can I help you?" Yeah, erm, room service. "Honey, we don't do room service." What do you mean, you don't do room service? "We don't do room service!" # It doesn't matter what we do # Where we are going to 'In Boston, we had a secret.' 'In Vegas, we had a life.' # And we don't care about the old folks # Talkin' 'bout the old style, too 'Micky said I was gonna have more fun than I could possibly imagine.' 'And he was right.' Hey, Jamie. There you go. Nice. 'It was too good to be true.' Oh, there you go! Alright, my night just got better. Thank you, Joe. 'And it felt like it was never going to end.' Clark? I think I got something over here. Take a look at this. That guy? He's a kid. He was on the tape from last week. Got a big roll. He's crushing your table. He ordered tonic and lime. Tonic and lime. What does that mean? He wants you to think he's drinking. OK. So is he counting or just getting lucky? He's not running a progressive system. He doubled on 10 when the deck was heavy, but not on 11. How can you tell if it's heavy or light? I'm counting. You're... Tell me something, Cole, if you can count that well, why are you consulting for us? I've been asking myself the same thing. I like being on your side of the hustle. Bring up a frame of that for me on the printer. So, Terry, I heard you guys are losing a lot of work to that biometric facial-recognition software. Just gives us a little bit more time to focus on you guys. It's impressive software. They do. Here he is. I still think there are bigger fish to fry out there. Here he is. I still think there are bigger fish to fry out there. So do I. Hey, Fisher. Ah, he's mad at me and jealous of you. But don't worry. Greatness evokes that reaction sometimes. I gotta go. and jealous of you. But don't worry. Greatness evokes that reaction sometimes. I gotta go. All right. Hey. What's going on? Oh, he just didn't like the subject I chose for my final paper. That's bullshit. What? I know when you're lying, I'm your best friend. At least I thought I was. Are you on drugs, Ben? There's a group at Simpson Hall on Saturdays. No, I'm not on drugs, OK? I'll go to the meeting if you need me to. Why didn't you tell me you quit J Press? I don't know. Is it Jill Taylor? No. What about Harvard? It'll find a way of working itself out. Look, I gotta go. Ben... I'll see ya. 'I think the worst part of it was not being able to tell anyone.' 'But for the first time in my life, the world made itself easy for me.' Here you go, sir. 'And I liked it.' That's for you. Thank you. We just made $210,000. Yes! Now, Ben, this is how we play! # "Shut Up And Drive" - Rihanna 'And play we did.' 'Nothing cost too much.' 'Nothing was out of reach.' # So if you feel it, let me know, know, know... 'I guess you could say the casino host of fate gave Ben Campbell a major upgrade.' # So start me up and watch me go, go, go 'Dorm rooms turned into high-roller suites.' 'Bicycles became stretch limos.' # Can you handle the curves? Can you run all the lights? # If you can, baby boy, then we can go all night 'And college bars that were always filled with frat dudes were upgraded to,... well, something more interesting.' (ALL SCREAM) (RAP MUSIC PLAYS) Hey, baby. Where you in from? Er, I'm from Boston. (LAUGHS) On a convention? Er, no, business, actually. What line of work you in, mister? I count things. (LAUGHS) My name's Sierra. Hi, Sierra. I'm, er,... Salvador Sanchez. Would you like a private dance, Salvador? Well, that all depends on how much it's gonna run me, Sierra. $20 a song, 30-song minimum. Sounds expensive. Good evening, Mr. Klein. Hey, Frank. It's good to see ya. Jeffrey, you're taking my money. You are so lucky you're cute. Cos if you weren't cute, I'd leave. You know that? Jeffrey! My brother from another mother. How you doing? You good? I'm good, I'm good, Mr. K. Are you back in town for business? It's all business in this town, right? With your money, I'm sure it always is. Oh, damn, I forgot my ring. Oh, please! Oh, I don't wanna bet that. That's for keep. $100,000 going out. Thank you, Jeffrey. Cole. Yeah. Your boy's back. That's him, right? There he is. He brought a lot more money with him. Ooh! That is a hell of a suit, by the way. Hi. Whoa! That is some aftershave he has going on. Sir, could you not? Please. She's only betting the table minimum. Why's she looking at him? Rewind the tape. I wanna see if she signals him to come to the table. We don't use tape any more, old school. It's digital now. Never mind. Terry, rewind it. OK, OK. She's playing the table minimum. In a second, she'll do something. She's gonna raise her hand, scratch her head... There it is. That's the signal. See? She gave him the signal. He comes to the table. I'm telling you, they're working together. Nice. Show me a computer that can do that. You look familiar. I know you, don't I? I don't think so. No? Oh, sure, you look exactly like that guy in Rain Man. Oh, yeah? Well, people say I look like Tom Cruise all the time. Yeah? No. The other one, the... What's his... The retard. I just love that scene in Vegas when the retard wins at blackjack. You look just like that. What I could never understand, though, is how someone so retarded, could win so much. Hey, Jeffrey, his brother from another mother, how did that retard win so much? Sir, I think maybe... Oh! Oh, I didn't mean it. (SCREAMING / SHOUTING) (SHOUTING) His luck'll run out eventually. It always does. (SLOW ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) Hey, Ben... No, Ben, stop it! What the hell is the matter with you? (LAUGHS) You think that's funny? Come on... Shut up! This is not the time. OK? I wanted to thank you for confirming my choice in Ben. Now go home. What? You're off the team. No. I was drunk, I was... I don't care what you were. I'm not leaving. Yes, you are. What are you gonna do about it, huh? You were the big man for a long time but you just acted like a child. So I want you to pick up the ticket and go home, because if you don't, you know exactly what I'm capable of doing, don't you? Listen up. Casino's gonna change out their chips, like the MGM did after the Tyson fight. That means we got less than 24 hours to cash in, or we'll have 200 grand of worthless plastic. So we'll cash out. It's too hot. They'll be dissecting the eye in the sky footage of Fisher's power play. So do it now before they can do that. Are you deliberately slow? What about them? What about them? They can cash in the chips. The casino will just think they're tips. Cashing out. Thank you. Thanks, sweetie. Thanks, hun. Thank you, baby. Thank you. I love a parade, don't you? You know, there's a word I don't throw around all that often. Genius. # LSF (Lost Souls Forever) - Mark Ronson ft Kasabian # We got our backs to the wall # Get on and watch out # Before you will us all # Ah, oh, come on # Say, we got our backs to the wall Hey, Kianna. Let me hold your bag for a second. Thanks, baby, here. Oh, no problem. Any time. Watch. Watch, watch. Ready? OK. Whoo! That's beautiful. Watch. It's great, you just need to get your knee a little higher. Hi. Hey. So the Hard Rock comped me a suite. That's cool, that's great. You wanna see it? All right, take care, Bobby. All right? Hey. God, it's cold. Hey, what time is it? He's only 45 minutes late. Show a little patience. Oh, look. Here he comes. Guys, I'm sorry I'm late. Hey, Ben. You know, you could try returning a call once in a while. Good of you to show up. It's not like we're cold or anything. Funny. Hey, did you bring it? Yeah, I got it. There it is. And you're sure you didn't inlay the software on more space than the parameters suggest? No. One fifth. Let's power this mother up. Beautiful. OK. OK. What's happening? I don't understand. It's the wrong size. No. What? What the hell, Ben? This is an 8K. Right. Yeah, we needed 16K! I can't believe this. I thought it was an 8K. No, you didn't. Yeah, I did. No, you didn't. You knew the entire time the discrete was 16K. Dammit, Ben! It'll take us two weeks to get a fresh 16K from the fabrication and another five days to get it ready to press. Miles, calm down, all right? It was an honest mistake. What? You know what? I think we're gonna have to go at this without you, man. What? You know what? I think we're gonna have to go at this without you, man. You're gonna what? No, no. This is just as much mine as it is yours. We've been working on this for over a year. I know that. But your heart just isn't in this any more. Are you serious? Fine. Fine. You know what? I don't even care. Honestly, I don't even care. You know why? Cos no one in the real world gives a shit about the 2.09 Competition. It's just something that you build up in your head to make yourselves feel important. You guys are pathetic. Thanks. Welcome back, Mr Youngman. Thanks, Joseph. It's good to see you. Good to see you, too. Good evening, Mr Youngman, welcome back to the Red Rock. Anything I can do for you, let me know. Double down. Ooh! I guess you play big or you don't play at all. Right? Honey, there you are. Let's go! We don't wanna miss the show! Honey, we're actually playing a game here. Yeah. So you know what? Why don't you run upstairs and wait for me there? OK? All right. Let's go. Yeah, uh, all right. I've got the worst headache right now. 10. Come on, monkey. 14. Come on. Come on, monkey. 16. Monkey. Come on. 21. Pete, you're killing us. (LAUGHS) I guess it's not my night. Are you out of your mind?! I... I don't know what happened. I messed up. I'm... I'm sorry. Oh. Oh, you're sorry. See, that's what I've been waiting to hear, Ben. As long as you're sorry. I'm out 200 grand, but Ben's sorry! Everybody hear that? Ben's sorry! So we can all go back to being friends and laughing over cocktails! Come on, Micky. It can happen to any one. They get on a rush and lose control. shut your mouth. This is business. I let you down, all right? I get it. Excuse me? You let me down? I don't care! Let me make one thing clear to you. I am not your father! You are not my friend. This is a business! You are only as good to me as the money you make, and, right now, that's not a lot! You're giving me back everything you lost. That money was for Harvard! I have made you so much more than I lost! Doesn't matter. You had very clear instructions, and you didn't follow them. You didn't do your job. You weren't counting, you were gambling! Well, uh, why aren't you out there, then, Micky? Huh? I mean, we take all the risks. Seems to me like you don't do shit. This isn't about me, you arrogant little infant. You can all find your own way back to Boston. And, Ben, you're gonna pay me that money, every penny, one way or the other, and you damn well know it. I need a drink. Anybody else? Yeah, well, we don't need him. Yeah, OK, Ben. No, I'm serious. Why do we need him? We have our own money now. You know, his cut was 50%, and he doesn't even play! Why do we need him? You know what I think? We play out the weekend, and we do this without him. No, I don't think that's a good idea. We should go back to Boston and figure this out. Why don't we let the team decide? I'm with Jill. This is Micky's thing. Micky brought us together. And drove us apart. You saw how he played Fisher against me. Choi, what do you say, man? You wanna make some money? Kind of. Really? We need 100 grand just to play. You're talking about risking our money. All I'm saying is we try it. If we make the investment, then we take all of the winnings. All of it. OK. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Choi? I'm in. Now I need a drink. What are you doing? What? What are you doing? Well, we're printing money. What, you think just cos Micky left that we're gonna stop? No, I can do this. I can lead this team. You know, I'm not the same guy I was back in Boston. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. You know, isn't this exactly who you wanted me to be when you came into the store to buy a tie? What happened to "$300,000 and I'm out"? Hm? What happened to "a means to an end"? How much do you have? What? How much do you have? I got enough. Come on, Ben. How much do you have saved back in Boston? 315 grand. OK. Then why are you still here? Because I wanna still be here. I like being here. So does everybody else. So come on, Jill. Are you in? You are the big player, Ben. Yes, I am. Yeah, can I get a drink? Rose, I wanna thank you. You have been most accommodating. Alright, that's for you. OK, take care. Hey, good luck. Hey, how we doing here, people? Yeah, I'm gonna put you on hold while I track him down. Just got an interesting call. There's nobody left to fire us. Planet Hollywood is our last client. I don't know about that. This is Cole. Ah. Queen of diamonds. Your lady luck tonight. You're doing good. You're a real winner. Sometimes. Just like everybody else. You're a real winner. Sometimes. Just like everybody else. (LAUGHS) Now, why don't I believe that? Maybe you're just smarter than everybody else. I bet it's been that way your entire life. But it just recently started paying dividends, am I right? I'd split 'em. Deck's heavy as hell and since I've been here, the true count's at plus 7. Kianna. I think we have a serious problem. Walk now! Oh, shit! Let's go. I'm out. Thank you. Let's go, Jill. Let's go. We need to call security. I don't think they'll help. Come on. Let's take a walk, huh? Come on, kid. See if we can't get you that chicken dinner. It's called, uh... Biometrics. Biometrics. It's sort of like a fingerprint of your face. See, when the player sits down at the table, the software, it reads this... Biometric profile. ...biometric profile of your face, cross-references it with a database of counters. (LAUGHS) It'll probably put you and me out of business, but it can't do this. of counters. (LAUGHS) It'll probably put you and me out of business, but it can't do this. (COUGHS) All right. Oh! You understand all this. You go to MIT. Smart boy! (LAUGHS) My name is Cole Williams. And if I ever see you in this town again, I will break your cheek bone with a small hammer,... and then I will kill you. Please. Please, just take the money. You can take it. Huh! Tell me, how's good old Professor Rosa doing, huh? Oh, yeah. Me and Micky, we go way back. I spent years, chased him all over this town. Giving him beat downs left and right, only to find him at the tables a week later. He was very persistent. And then, one September night, when I was in Barstow at my father's funeral, my casino was taken for seven figures. Can you imagine that? The most ever taken by a single counter in one night. Course I was, naturally, unceremoniously fired. Funny thing, though. I never saw Micky Rosa after that. Never. (YELLS) Cauchy was the first to make a rigorous study of the conditions for convergence of an infinite series. And was concerned with developing the basic theorems of the calculus as rigorously as possible. Any questions? No? Alright, moving on. Isn't it true Cauchy stole from his students? Yes, I heard that. What's your theory on that? They say he used his students for their brilliance, then discredited them and stole their equations,... ..stole their hard work. Well, it wouldn't be the first time a teacher was accused of that. I think what he's referring to is Vladimir Stupnitsky, yes? He was a student of Cauchy's who accused Cauchy of stealing his four-volume text on this analysis and publishing it under a pseudonym. Of course, nobody knows what really went down there. They never proved it, and without proof, it's like it never happened. And it's a real shame, because if Stupnitsky had realised he shouldn't have crossed Cauchy, this was the dispute, if he'd been able to get beyond some of the personal mistakes made, I have no doubt that Cauchy would have worked with him again, and they could have done great things together. But, as history shows us, some students never learn. You should get that eye looked at. (RINGS DOORBELL) You OK? Everything's gone. What? Micky's taken everything. He's taken the money, taken away Harvard Med, even MIT. What are you talking about? Micky's taken everything. I gotta find a way to get it back. Are you insane? You just got the shit kicked out of you and you won't let this go! What am I supposed to do, Jill? I've just lost everything! Look, please... I don't wanna lose you, too. Ben, you were dragged away in Vegas. I haven't heard from you. I had no idea where you were. I know. I know. I'm so sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry. In Vegas, I don't know what happened. That wasn't me. Look, you know me. You know what I'm like. You know me. I just... I need you to trust me. And the winner of this year's 2.09 for excellence in the field of robotics goes to the team of Conolly and Kazazi!' (CHEERING / APPLAUSE) (CHEERING) So, that's it. That's... That's the story. Jill Taylor. Really? Yeah. Yeah, really. Wow! Yeah, it doesn't feel like "Wow!" Miles. I really screwed up. Yeah, you did. But you had a life experience. I can't believe how I treated you, Miles. You're my best friend, and I... I really let you down. I really let you down. I'm sorry. And I'm happy for you, you know? Winning the 2.09? That's great. Jill Taylor? Really?! Yeah. (LAUGHS) So, let me get this straight. Money, girls, high-roller suites, clubs, Vegas. Yeah, I think I probably would have blown off the 2.09 competition, too. (LAUGHS) So we cool? Yeah, we're cool. But you better believe you're gonna make this up to me, big time. Alright. So, what are you gonna do now? (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS) (LAUGHS) Not many people know. What do you want, Ben? This is an alumni dinner. You need a diploma to come to one of these. Stupnitsky wants back in. What? Look, I've had some time to think about what you said. I want back in. Why now? Because I have nothing else. Look, I'm not gonna lie to you. You're very, very good. But you did what I told you not to. You got emotional and stupid. Tell me why in the world I'd ever get back in business with you. I know I should never have disrespected you, alright? I know that. With this facial-recognition software, our window of opportunity is closing in on us. Now, I need this, Micky. I really, really need this. The take would have to be really, really good to get me even vaguely interested. Well, you know, that's why I was thinking maybe you should be the other big player. You know, two big players playing big? Hey, slow down, I haven't played in a long time, Ben. But Fisher's out. No one else on the team can be the big player, can they? And if we do well, if we do really well, then you get your grades back, get to Harvard Med, and I might even get that sabbatical. Well, amazing things can be done from the inside, right? Mm. Just went back to the head of the class. I gotta go be social. It's different out there this time. The stakes are high, and it's more dangerous. But the return is gonna be the biggest. Now, they know our faces, so we're gonna wear disguises. And we can't mess around. I'm glad you're back with us, Micky. I couldn't let you guys come back to this town and not prove to Ben I can do more than just teach. But as we've all said, this game is about the past and the future, and tonight we forget about the past. We just focus on the future. Right. This is our last time. We know the drill if things get ugly. Meet at the Fox Strip Club. Nobody leaves this town alone. Let's go make a killing. Alright. (DANCE MUSIC PLAYS) Let's see what we can do with this. Seems like I'm having one of those days, you know what I mean? I'm bringing all the luck today. Anyone who comes in contact with me is getting so much luck today. (LAUGHS) Whoo! Winner, winner, chicken dinner! There it is. Thank you. God, I love this town. I love this game. And, Jim, I might even love you. Hey, you mind if I sit down? What's your name? Shane? I'm about to change your luck. It's gonna become mine. here you go, give me it all. Yeah! There you go. Thank you. Thank you. (BOTH) Oh! Such a shame, Shane! I'm supposed to double, right? Is this your first time, darling? I've been winning and losing for hours. I've been winning and losing for years. (ALL) Yes! What the hell kind of streak are you on, boy? This never happens! Nice! Yeah! I'm just gonna have to split those tens. Splitting tens. Splitting tens! Split tens! Thank you, ma'am. Give me the chips. Give me the chips! Come on, give me the chips! Just give me the chips! My bus has to leave right away. I gotta walk my dog. I'm sorry we're making such a mess. Go, go, go. Nice to see ya. Have a good night, darling. This way! Go. Come on, Jill. Come on! Go that way. Throw me the chips. Come on, we gotta separate. Give me the chips, I'll meet you at Fox's. Go, go, go, go! Come on, come on. Move, move, move! (CLATTERING) Go, go, this way. Alright, let's go. Go, go, go, go! Airport! (TYRES SCREECH) Hoo! (LAUGHS) 'I never saw Micky Rosa after that.' Oh, God. But I think I wanna see him now. And I want you to make that happen. I... I don't work for Micky any more. (LAUGHS) Come on, kid. Your picture's all over the database. Your Vegas gig is done. But I will give you one night. And I can guarantee you won't be bothered. You'll make a killing, and you'll keep it all. Hm? Listen,... my name's Cole. Cole Williams. You just bring me Micky Rosa, kid. I'll take care of the rest. Son... of... a... bitch. (LAUGHS) Who the hell are you? (BOTH PANT) Ben. Good job. You'll be glad to know I'm gonna have a talk with your professor, and that MIT thing? It's gonna work out for ya. So that's it? That's it. Alright. Oh, er, Dr Campbell? They don't have pensions in my line of work. And the software does what it's supposed to do. And I been chasing Micky Rosa around here for too damn long. I'm looking at some retirement. Leave the bag. No. No, no, no, no. I need this money. You have no idea what I went through to get it. I know, kid, but you'll figure out how to get everything you want in this life, cos you're smart. So,... you're gonna leave the bag. Ben, give him the bag. It doesn't matter. Give him the bag. I knew you were smart. 'I had a 1590 on my SAT. 'I got a 44 on my MCATs. 'And I have a 4.0 GPA from MIT. 'I thought I had my life mapped out. 'But then I remembered what my Non-linear Equations professor 'once told me. "Always account for variable change."' Hello, Micky. Look, I got money in Boston. A hundred grand. I'll walk away. I don't want your money, Micky. I don't need it. But I know someone who might be interested. He's good with numbers, too. He works for the IRS. 'I let down my good friends. 'But as it turns out, they weren't too bad at simple math, either.' 'I scored the prettiest girl in school. 'I got beaten down by an old-school Vegas thug who was having trouble accepting his retirement. 'But I worked out a deal with him that got him a nice pension. 'And I lied to my mother. 'But I confessed the lie, and, well, she still loved me.' (CHOIR SING) # No, you can't always get what you want. # You can't always get what you want. 'So my senior year of college, I joined this team. And I learned this new skill.' 'I went to Vegas 17 times to use it. 'I made hundreds of thousands of dollars counting cards.' And then I had it all stolen from me. Twice. How's that for life experience, professor? Did I dazzle you? Did I... jump off the page? # But if you try sometimes # you might find # you get what you need.