Previously on When We Rise... You're a fighter, but I am not. Don't give up. Hi, Annie. I guess I'm your dad. Richard. (SOBS) My T cells are basically non-existent. He signed up for three tours of Vietnam, and now he'd like to see a real doctor. You want to be my daughter? I always was. He always said that when he started to get sick, he would end things himself. We should get the president to visit the quilt. Mr President, we need your support. And this time it must be unequivocal. # Insane in the membrane # Insane in the brain. # Insane in the membrane # Insane in the brain. # You don't get priority... # ANNIE: I grew up different than my moms. You know, they ask, 'Why don't you like school?' and 'Why do you dress up like that?' Thing is it's them who chose to raise me in a Latino neighbourhood, in the mission. My friends are from the mission, and all of us are outsiders in this city, so it's not dress up; it's who we are. I mean, I guess you wanna survive as an outsider. You can't do it alone. You still gotta have your people. My wife thinks I'm out of it, but all I'm doing is thinking about it ` the next fix. And I think what about two months from now? A year? It's not gonna get any easier. Here's an example of making a negative prediction. Michael has to ask himself, 'Is this thought actually based in reality?' We have to find faith in something that is larger than our addictions ` a higher power, God. However you choose to define that. You know, Marge, God went MIA on me about 13 years ago. Dude must have retired or something. Or maybe he's in Boca Raton playing shuffleboard, sipping mai tais. (CHUCKLES) Ken, have you been drinking? Really, Marge? Cos I'm in a good mood for once. So when I have you blow into a breathalyser, it'll be clean? (INDISTINCT CHATTER, DOG BARKS) (DOOR OPENS) (GASPS) Annie. Hi. Why aren't you at school? Um, I just wanted a shower. Why didn't you shower at Mia's? Where did you sleep last night? (INDISTINCT CHATTER) You OK? It's my medication. I have more T cells than a 12-year-old, but I just can't be more than 20 yards from a toilet. Can I have everyone take their seats, please? Ugh, who are all these suits? Let's get started. Welcome. As the nation's leading gay and lesbian rights organisation, we are thrilled to be hosting the first ever national dinner. We're planning a big media push. We'd love your help bringing in donors from places like San Francisco. Well, I don't live in San Francisco any more. I moved to Palm Springs for my health. And I would make calls on your behalf, but none of the organisers I know are quite sure what you do. Are you a lobbying group? What do you do, exactly, with all the money and resources you collect? Mr Jones, we've been advocating for the same causes since the early '80s. I'd be happy to share the strategic inroads we're making, but for right now we'd appreciate your help unifying the movement. Behind you so you can do what? I think I can get the president to speak at your dinner. I'm new to this position in the administration, but if I don't ask for things like this, well... (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Hi. Richard Socarides, senior adviser to the president for gay and lesbian issues. Are we forgetting this is the same president who screwed us over on Don't Ask, Don't Tell and DOMA, the Defence of Marriage Act against gay marriage? I think you're forgetting about the enormous symbolic value of having the president speak at this dinner. You should be pushing for federal protections for people in Texas and Mississippi, where it's life or death, not looking for symbolic gestures. I survived the last backlash with a knife in my neck. If you go soft now, they will come after us again with knives and with new laws as well. I'm sorry. Are you fighting for our community or starting a country club here? What do you need from us to get the president to the dinner? VOICE FADES: We'd have to change venues, add security. And that would affect budget. He's been through detox twice, but he continues to poison himself with drugs and alcohol. I'm taking him out of this programme. And since you're a sponsor, I need to inform you before releasing him so that you can make the arrangements. Guess I'm gonna have to miss taco night. You know, I wish for a moment that you could be honest with yourself, Ken. You know, Marge, your support group is supposed to be for HIV positive addicts. No one talks about HIV or being gay. And you wanna know why? They're scared they're gonna lose their benefits if they really do 'get honest'. The individual's sexual behaviour would first have to be proven to be a significant negative aspect shown to outweigh their positive service acco` Who the hell is going to risk that? You know what your group is? It is capital, top-of-the-line bull! All right, all right, step outside. I will not! I lost my lover. I lost my job. I lost my home. And hell yeah I started using. It's as close as I'm gonna get to good with these bads I got. So why don't you give me my AIDS pills and let me get back to my fabulous life?! I said give me a minute and step your black ass outside! (DOOR OPENS, CLOSES) I finally got my life started. I got my surgery, my family, even a job at the health department. I can't take him in right now ` or we could both be back here in a month needing detox. In the last 32 school days, Annie's been absent 18 times. Why are we only hearing about this now? We sent notices. We received your letter about Annie's scoliosis and her physical therapy. What scoliosis? You people actually believe this? She obviously wrote it herself. Who would believe she would be absent 18 out of 32 school days for physical therapy? We have hundreds of students to keep track of. We count on parents paying attention. Perhaps this isn't the ideal setting for a young woman with her specific needs. I know that Annie is... not easy. But if not here, where do we go? Well, there's really only one option that would take her middle of the year and give her the attention that she needs ` St Catherine's, the Catholic school a few blocks south. Scuse me. Scuse me. Hi. Look, I just wanna say that I have a lot of respect for you and the work you've done for the movement. Oh, the work you seem determined to undo? Come on. That is not entirely fair, now. Read your history, Richard. We need fighters, not lobbyists. This is not a movement. Well, it was nice meeting you. Socarides. Any relation to Charles Socarides, that homophobe shrink who damned my entire generation? He's my father. Have a good day. The fact that somebody's homosexual, a true obligatory homosexual, automatically rules out the possibility that he will remain happy for long. (DRAMATIC MUSIC) ANNIE: It's not like all the normal people don't give the outsiders a choice. They say you're free to behave, to blend in, to tag along with them, as long as you keep quiet, or you can be you, you can be as loud as you want, and they'll leave you in exile. (BABY CRIES, DOG BARKS) (CRYING CONTINUES) Uh, excuse me? Hey, excuse me. Your baby. (GROANS) (CRYING STOPS) Hey. It's OK. It's all right. There we go. It's all right. It is a highly structured environment, and we have the academic results to show for it. We wanna be really open here. I mean, this is a Catholic school. How tolerant are`? So, we're lesbians. And Annie's dad is a gay man, a highly visible gay man who's about to run for mayor. So obviously we're hesitant to place her anywhere where there could be some kind of harassment. You know what I'm saying? We support students from all backgrounds, but there will be functions, like the annual student dinner, where attention is focused on you as parents by the entire student body. In instances like that, I do hope you'll consider what arrangement will work best for your daughter. Mom, I can't take the baby to a hospital. The dad's passed out. What?! Well, I think he's high. Well, where's the mother? I don't know where she is. What if Child Protective Services comes in? What have you gotten yourself into now, Cleve? Oh, Mom, this diaper hasn't been changed in days, I don't think. You have to get the fever down. Start by running some cold water. OK. OK I'll talk to you later. Where'd you serve in Vietnam? In the navy. Cam Ranh Bay mostly. You? Chu Lai. Oh. You had it tough. Yeah. So what did you think about our group? Everyone in there is so poz and straight as an arrow. Everybody's got their story. I need... at least 10 drinks to go down that road. (CHUCKLES) It's all clear, man. Cheers. Cheers. Oh. Hi. Who are you? My name's Cleve. I moved in a few doors down. I tried to wake you, but you were out. Your baby has a fever. I think you really need to keep an eye on that. Courtney hasn't been feeling well. Oh. Courtney. Where's Courtney's mom? Um, I hope you don't mind. I` Well, the crying, it was making my head explode. Do` Do you wanna take`? Can you, uh, hang out for a bit? I've got some stuff I need to do. Well, how long for? Excuse me. You can't just` Excuse me. You can't just leave me here. (SIGHS) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) We got it. A majority of the president's senior advisors approved it. And not only will he keynote the HRC dinner, but the press secretary wants C-SPAN to carry it live. It's historic. What the hell do you think you were doing in there? After the nightmare over gays in the military? No, wait, listen. Calm down. It's gonna be fine. No, you don't tell me to calm down. You wanna be the guy that kills the president's entire second term? Hm? If there is one heckler throwing ash and bone at him like they did at Bush, you'll be looking for a new job. This is on you. ANNIE: They tell you, 'Be like us cos that's how you'll matter.' But the thing about insiders is that even if you do play their game, they know you're a freak and only pretend to like you. So what's the point of acceptance if it's not the real you that they give a damn about? (KNOCK ON DOOR) Where have you been? It's been over a week. I was gonna call Social Services. The kid's been bad? You may not realise this, but your kid is underdeveloped due to a lack of stimulation. There hasn't been one smile. A child like this needs constant attention if they're gonna catch up. Well, the social worker's coming for an inspection, so I gotta take the kid back. What kind of inspection? I gotta pass or they take the kid away. Then I don't get my cheques. Well... I can clean your place if it means you keep your cheques. I mean, Courtney can stay with me when it's done, and you can visit whenever you want. I don't have any more money for more food or whatever. I can help you with that. I can really help you with that. And, look, we have good recovery centres here in Palm Springs. I can help set that up for you if` Just whenever you want. I'm asking you to help call off demonstrations from our side. We need to show that we're mainstream now. Have you noticed there's corn syrup in everything? I avoid it by making my own formula. Millions of people are gonna see the president show up for a gay cause and confirm our humanity. Why ruin that with internal warfare? A movement is not a corporation. There's no big daddy at the top telling everybody what to do. I can't just call off protesters. I'm sorry you drove all the way out from LA and missed your tea time at Indian Wells to find that out. Look, I did try calling, and I don't play golf. I am not your guy. Nobody is. You could make some calls, explain why this is so important. If you want people to back off, get Clinton to hold himself accountable for DOMA and Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Get him to apologise and then have him explain exactly how he's gonna protect all LGBT people nationally. If you do that, you might get a positive response from actual gay people. Should I have him fly in on a rainbow unicorn too (?) Yeah, and I'll throw glitter (!) Little one. You think my job's a joke. We finally have a seat at the table. You're so afraid of losing your job you're letting him get away with abuse. And he's inspiring others to follow along. Here. Feel here. Right there. Go on. Feel that. Go on. That's where the knife went in. And this is where they went for my throat. That's what a backlash feels like. And when the bigots turn to violence again ` because they will ` that new blood will be on your hands. Honestly, Richard, I feel for you. You're like so many other gay men who've been told you're sick your whole life by your daddies, and yet all you do is try to act like good little gay boys for all those abusive fathers out there instead of being pissed off. You played up to your own daddy, and now you're playing up to Daddy Clinton. Don't rock the boat. Be one of the guys. But you're not one of the guys. You're one of the gays. You're an outsider. And you always will be. And every day you try to play their game, this movement gets one step closer to being dead. That's why there's gonna be protests, and that's why there should be. Cleve. Presidents don't apologise. Come on. Let's make you a nice dinner before you have to drive home. REPORTER: The senate majority leader agreed homosexuality was a sin. My father had problems with alcoholism. Other people, you know, kleptomaniacs... Lott's comments only add to a contentious debate that is both` (VOLUME LOWERS) You may think my father is an awful person, but he's no Trent Lott. Really? My father's not what you think. He's actually been really loving and supportive of me. He gave this to me when I graduated from law school. He added the inscription. Hmm. But if you're close, isn't that a problem for him? I mean, his whole theory of homosexuality is that it's an illness based on an overbearing mother... and an absent father. My mom wasn't overbearing. I stayed with my father after they divorced. We had a great time. So your relationship is living proof that your father's theory of homosexuality is dead wrong. They still trot him out as an expert witness in every anti-gay case across the country, cases we've been losing. Why haven't you come out with this? Richard, we could start winning in court. He's my dad. And it would kill him to` That's why I haven't ever really come out to him. Why you haven't really ever come out to him? Does he know? He pretends not to know, and I let him. Boy. I think it's time for a certain little gay boy to come dancing out of the closet. Isn't that what every good therapist would want for his son if he truly loves his son? I watched all of my friends... die. My whole platoon, one by one... until there was just me. Then new ones came, and most of them died too. You learn... not to get too close. Everybody I ever got close to, they take it personally. They don't get it. Sometimes I feel like I get... more of what I need here. (UPBEAT MUSIC) Whoo! Yeah! Open space! Come on! Come on! Whoo! Yeah! Open space! (VOICE DISTORTS, FADES) (BREATHES HEAVILY) 1 (DOOR OPENS) They took you to the ER. You've been sedated for two days. I had to beg the VA to keep you here. You could have died, Ken. And while you've been raiding the pharmacy, I've been looking for some church folks who might put some sense into an old black poz queen. We had a vision about you. We laid hands on you and prayed, and all was healed. It's the only way they'll let you stay here. I, um... I have my own people to talk to here. You mean the closet case speed queen who nearly killed you. Ken, he's got a wife and kids. You should go. Y'all should go too. Ken. Y-You'll end up on the street. Ken! Leave me alone. Ken! Ken. (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYS) CLEVE: You see that? Aw. Should I put the formula on? I think it's OK for another half hour. Oh. (GASPS) Was that a little smile? Did you just smile? Oh, baby. Oh, baby, you're getting better. Oh, sweetie. Fatherhood suits you. Do what you can to protect this. Oh, yes. Wow. Hello, kiddo. This is a nice surprise. I wish you'd told me you were coming up. It was unexpected. I wanted to talk to you in person. Can we sit? Sure. So, this is a... this is a conversation that we've needed to have for a while. I think you know what it is. If this is going to be an in-depth conversation, I think we both should be very careful about` Dad, you know that I'm gay. It's time we both said it out loud cos I can't hide it from you any more. I know that this conflicts with everything you do, and I've spent years feeling guilty about that and hiding, but... I can't be responsible for you in that way any more. I felt that I had to come here to tell you, to warn you. Warn me? Is this some sort of threat? It's not. It's not my choice. No, no, no. It is absolutely your choice if you turn your back on treatment. Dad, your treatments don't work. And this isn't an illness. And deep down, you know that, even though you say the opposite to the world. No, no, no! I have spent 40 years studying this. Don't you dare to presume to tell me what I know. And under no circumstances do you discuss this publically. It's too late for that. The president promoted me to senior adviser on gay and lesbian issues. (OPENS DRAWER) (GUN COCKS) Dad, come on. This is what you're making me do, Richard. Do you realise that? We both know it's not loaded. You'd never do it because you think too highly of yourself. I love you, Dad. Bet you have a rich dad in Pacific Heights who wanted you to see the real world, so he sent you to the mission but here to Catholic school to keep you away from all the animals. What if I don't have a dad? Fine. Sausalito, and your step-dad's a lawyer. No. It just my mom and I, and she's not getting married any time soon, so shut it. All this crap has gotta go. All of it. Come on. What's going on? He's MIA for weeks. Owes me five months rent. Oh, he's just visiting family in New Mexico. Only if New Mexico's in a basement and his family is a fist full of crack. Ha! Building's gonna be a lot quieter now. THROUGH PHONE: Jean Sanchez, Riverside County Adoption Services. Yes, I'm calling about how to become a foster parent. I'm just gonna need a few pieces of information from you to get that process started, but I can help you out with that. I, uh,... thought I lost you. Still might. They wanna throw me out of here. What's the story, David? How does a man with a wife and two kids end up in a support group for HIV positive addicts? I don't wanna talk about that. No one knows what it's like to survive a war and a plague... except you and I. (EXHALES HEAVILY) (GENTLE MUSIC) You can if you want. I don't want it. Not like that. I don't fall in love with guys. Maybe... once. Like you. In the war. What are you trying to do? Don't you get it? We're walking the same road, you and I. Don't you remember back in 'Nam? We would look out for each other no matter what. Two soldiers... pulling each other out the mud. (SOBS) 1 My dad writes for The Chronicle. The gay guy running for mayor, that's your dad, isn't it? Is your whole family homosexuals, or...? Your dad is misinformed. No. No. I don't care, seriously. I don't. I like your ring. So, are you... like them? Do you have lesbian moms too? No. I have normal parents. Normal. Cool. So, since you didn't turn out like them, why would I turn out like my mom? No. No. I'm` I'm not like that. OK? It's you. You came on to me. Honestly, it's cool. I don't care. Well, I'm gonna report it. You know what? You can do what you want. This place... This place is a joke. (DOOR OPENS, CLOSES) You've barely been there a month, and you're already sneaking out. I'm done with that place. You're going back, even if I have to drag you there every day. I'm not gonna sit around and watch you screw up your life. You've screwed it up already. Look at us! I mean, two lesbian moms with frizzy hair and no make-up pretending like this is normal, like you're some sort of married couple. Nobody's buying it. No one here, no one at school, no one anywhere. Well, then, that's your problem, if you care so much what other people think. Or yours because you're so old and out of touch you have no clue... Annie! ...what it is like to be in school any more! Time out! Time out! OK, Annie. If you can maintain a 3.0 average for the rest of the year, you can go to any school you want. Until then, it's St Catherine's. (DOOR SLAMS) (PHONE RINGS) Did you miss me already? RICHARD: I think we need to push the president to take responsibility and lay out a federal gay rights agenda. I'm here working on a speech with a writer, and I'd like your input. So you just came around? I came out to my dad. And I wanna get this right too. Aw, Richard. I'm happy for you. Here's what we've got so far. He says some intro stuff and then he quotes Truman ` 'It is more important today than ever 'to ensure that all Americans enjoy the right to freedom and equality. 'When I say all Americans, I mean all Americans.' Now, this is where I'm thinking he could say it, but how? Uh, well, how about 'I can't stand here tonight without apologising for our recent failures 'and so now I've set out a new set of commitments.' Here's this innocent soul I brought into the world, and because of who I am, she may be tormented her entire childhood. You can't think like that. Would she be having these problems if we were a straight family? I don't know. A lot of kids hate school. I didn't. Well, it's not just lesbians. We're not alone in this. We just do the best we can. (SIGHS) Maybe you should go to the parents dinner without me. I think you're right. Maybe that would make it easier for her, do you think? Maybe you could, you know, wear a dress. (LAUGHS) You used to wear skirts. I know. Back in the Peace Corps days. You were hot... We were both hot. ...in skirts. Hot, hot. We were both hot. God, when did we become such dykes? We were always dykes. We just became moms. (GENTLE MUSIC) ANNIE: But what happens if a situation comes along where you can't survive and be yourself and you have to choose whether you're gonna play their game or cease to exist altogether? And there's a park up the road. We love the squirrels. Wonderful. And do you plan on getting married in the future? Not as things stand at the moment, no. So a single parent? Yes. And... do you smoke? No. No, I gave up a month ago for Courtney. I haven't had one since. Before we begin, I need to let everyone know that David won't be joining us. His wife picked him up this morning. This is an unfortunate situation, but it looks like Courtney is lucky to have found you. Do you hear that, Courtney? It's a long process, but we'll do our best to help you through it. Oh, thank you. I appreciate you coming all the way out here. Excuse me. Are these yours? Yes. These are HIV medications. That's gonna be a problem. My viral count is undetectable, and God forbid anything should happen, my family will take very good care of the baby. Even if that's true, we need to take Courtney, Mr Jones. No. No, no, no. I'm sorry. Please. No. No, come on. We have a bond. We have a bond. We've been doing just fine together. Hey. We're on our way back. No, no, no, please. Please, there has to be another way. This child is a ward of the state, Mr Jones. I'm very sorry. You can't do this. We have a connection. This is a baby's home. What you're doing is wrong. This is very wrong. Thank you for calling us. No! No. (SOBS) 1 WOMAN ON TV: And I wanna thank the White House. So many people at the White House helped to make this evening extraordinary, but particularly to Richard Socarides, who does such a great job of representing every American, every gay American. Only equality. And we will continue to dream of an America where we can serve our nation openly and honestly in any job setting, including the armed forces, without fear of discrimination... Look at all the balloons and votes. How are you? Tom Ammiano, running for mayor. Tom` Oh, you're too young. Tom Ammiano, running for mayor. I know you can vote. Tom Ammiano. Tom Ammiano, running for mayor. How are you? You have democrat all over you, which is sexy, if you think about it. Tim, keep up. Hey. Hi, Mom. I didn't realise we were all coming. Yeah. It's parent's day, Mom. Hi. Hi, guys. These are two more of my parents. This is Tom Ammiano who's running for mayor and his lover, Tim. Daddy, just sit here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Annie's got my genes, so any bad behaviour, feel free to blame me, OK? What the hell are you wearing? I thought I would look nice for you. I mean, I thought we weren't supposed to care what other people think? My friends, a new day dawns when we join hands with the president of the United States to finally realise the promise of America. Ladies and gentlemen, it is now my deep honour to present to you the president of the United States. (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ON TV) Thank you. (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CONTINUE) (CHUCKLES) I need help. I need help. I need help, y'all. I ain't got no one. I understand. I got no one. Yeah. I need hands laid on me, y'all. I'm gonna drink myself to death. OK, OK. Someone like you can't be in here, but we have a courtyard. Come on. 50 years ago, President Truman stood at a new frontier at our defining struggle on civil rights and said, 'It is more important today than ever 'to ensure that all Americans enjoy the right to freedom and equality. BOTH: 'When I say all Americans, I mean all Americans.' 'So I can't stand here tonight without apologising.' Come on. 'So I can't stand here tonight without apologising.' We all know... that it is an ideal and not perfectly real now. We all know that some of the old kinds of discrimination we have seeked to rid ourselves of by law and purge our spirits of still exist in America today. We all know that there is continuing discrimination against gays. Our ideals and our history hold... That's not the version we wanted. Presidents don't apologise, you moron. You can thank me later. MAN: Mr President, people are dying! (CROWD SHOUTS, APPLAUDS) (SHOUTING, APPLAUSE CONTINUE ON TV) (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) (INDISTINCT) Annie's behaviour is not unique. It's what teenagers do. Thank you. You do know she got 89% in her biology exam and over 95% in Spanish? That is unique. ANNIE: What I learned this year ` that if you have to play their game, figure out their system, figure out what you need. That's how I got out of St Catherine's. Cos sometimes working the system is the only way out of it. Just don't ever buy into their crap. That's how you'll lose the outsider in you. Because the real you, you know, the outsider, that's where the real power's at ` on the outside. REPORTER: Across the country, hate crimes based on sexual orientation are rising. Judy Shepard's 21-year-old son, Matthew, kidnapped, pistol-whipped and beaten to death. I believe in hell. I believe these fags are going to hell. Today I call upon the congress to promptly pass an amendment to our constitution defining and protecting marriage as the union of a man and woman as husband and wife. (KNOCK ON DOOR) Mr Jones? Yes. Come in. You know, from the beginning of the epidemic, our fear was that everything we'd worked for would just be swept away. But the drugs came, and the death rate has been dropping, but now there is a new threat ` one I never predicted. You. Your generation is asleep. You're too afraid to talk about what happened to people just a few years older. When you do, it's often with cruelty. You're so thrilled to be invited to dinners in DC that you just gave up our demands. And those who truly hate us are tying young men to fences in Wyoming and cracking their skulls open with George W Bush threatening constitutional amendments against our families. I could go to my grave a criminal again. So you tell me something before I go any further. What's it like to be part of the first generation in this country that has no purpose? And what are you gonna do about it? Captions by Madison Batten. www.able.co.nz Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. Copyright Able 2017