1 I'm Poppy. Mum says you're my dad. But you didn't know about this? Of course I didn't! Well, it's not something that slipped your mind, like, you know, being married? What if, instead of going to boarding school, Poppy came to Weld for a bit? She could hang out with me and I could get to know her better, because, Poppy, I would really like to get to know you better. Sounds better than boarding school! (LAUGHS) Yes! Thanks to Woody, our house is a sieve. Maybe we could stay here? Sure, why not? Dad's away. We could park the Kombi van outside, use the facilities in here! Hey! How was the conference? Yeah, OK, the conference ` There was no conference, Woody. Hey? You fabricated the whole thing to cover up a secret. I'm hurt that you didn't trust me enough to think that we could work through this together. Thanks for the digs, George. Things didn't exactly go to plan, eh? They did not. I am totally out of undies! There's no food. I dreamed that Trace had forgiven me. Then I woke up. Who would like to try some of my gorgeous barbecued black pudding? Why are you wearing a skirt? This is a lava-lava. Traditional Samoan dress. Finally. You're not Samoan, Dad, and please put a shirt on. Oh! Is the toilet free? Yeah, sure. Thanks. I'm busting! Why did you let her push in? Is that my yoghurt? What? It's got a Monty label on it. So? It's a bit unhygienic. Dad, nobody wants any of your black pudding. It's yoghurt, what does it matter? Look, I've labelled all the things in the house ` Do I need to put it back? (ALL TALK AT ONCE) 'I dream, these days, of being alone. 'Like a lone wolf, or maybe I'm more like a jellyfish, floating gently through the ocean, like a blob of...' ...well, a blob of jelly. 'Some jellyfish travel alone, like the Australian box jellyfish.' Are you working? Yep. Oh, I was thinking about going for a surf. Working. Yeah, that's OK, cos I thought 'Nah.' Well, maybe you could fix Monty's roof. Yeah, nah. 'Most species of jellyfish, however, move about in vast swarms, 'just washing up on whatever beach the currents and tides decide.' Quick family meeting. You're not actually family, Monty. Oh, right. You know the saying about guests and fish? That they stink after three days? Is this about Monty's cologne? No, but, yes, specifically the body wearing the cologne. Yeah, it's time for them to leave. Correct. Then kick them out. No, no, I'm not going to be the one getting that reputation. What reputation? Well, the guy who kicks people out in their time of need. So you, as the person who invited them in, should suggest that they park their Kombi someplace else. The Kombi's broken down. No, I think he was thinking bigger picture. Yeah, and in that bigger picture, might help if Lindsay were to spend a bit more time at her own house. What? No, she gets really cranky when she spends too much time with her dad. OK, big picture, got it. Morning! Monty invited me over to partake in his special 'Black Pudding Surprise'. I don't suppose you're also here to tell him that his roof's fixed. Oh, I've got a fear of heights, George, and the actual roofs, they're Woody's department. Excuse me. So not happening any time soon at the speed Woody is moving? For my sins, Woody is my problem. So go, get our house back. I don't care how you do it, just get it done. Smiler! You parked me in! ('800 WORDS' THEME MUSIC) Captions by Cameron Grigg. Edited by Virginia Philp. www.able.co.nz Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. Copyright Able 2017 George! OK, I know I'm possibly the last person you want to see right now. No, that's not true, George. That would be Woody. But you are a very, very close second. Yeah, OK. Fair enough. I just need 5 minutes. Is it a school matter? I'd be lying if I said yes. Well, you've done enough of that lately. When you look at it, everything that happened was done with the best of intentions. Woody didn't want to hurt you, Tracey, he loves you` How hard would it have been for him to just tell me? I can't answer that particular question, because I'm not entirely sure how Woody's brain works. Not very. That's the answer, George. Yes, yes, probably. Undoubtedly. You meet someone, you fall in love, and, along the way, you talk. You tell each other stories. He heard all of mine. Thought I heard all of his. Yeah, hmm. What kind of reaction did he think I was going to have? Well, maybe he thought that you might... break up with him. A little bit like.. you have done. Look, this is Woody we're talking about. He has a unique way of looking at the world. I know that. I know him. At least I thought I did. He's broken-hearted, Tracey. Really? Cos he hasn't tried to talk to me, not once. Does that mean you want him to talk to you? Because if he knows that you want to see him, I bet that he will be here in a flash. No. No, I just want to get on with my day and get on with my work and forget about all of this, thank you. Hi. Hey. George? Do you hate me? Why would I? Cos I'm the one who dropped you in it, you and Woody, with Tracey. I didn't mean to. It was one of those situations where I thought that she knew. It's OK, Katie, it really doesn't matter now. The wedding of the decade is no longer happening. No, no, you did the right thing. It was always going to come out. Poppy, is that his daughter? Yes. She must wonder what she's walked into. Oh yes, very much so. Is she going to go to school here? Well, she was meant to, but that would involve Woody speaking to Tracey. That would involve Woody speaking to Tracey. (GIGGLES) (GIGGLES) Thank you. Look, I understand your concern, Mrs Fergusson, but I think I'd know if there was a burglary. Constable Tom keeps a pretty tight ship. Yeah, the escaped convict hiding out in the holiday park was, I think, in the Coromandel? And I'm pretty sure that was over eight years ago. OK, I will. Bye. OK, back to getting the Kombi fixed? Yes, right, so as I was saying, the last time this happened, I had to wait for a part to arrive from Japan. But isn't it a German car? It's a funny world, Shay. Siouxsie, would you be a darling and head up to the Fergusson place? She's worried about an escaped convict living up there. So you want to send me, your only daughter, to get murdered? There's no escaped convict. Mrs Fergusson is 89. She gets very confused. Exactly. Maybe she'll forget that she asked you to check. Well, just go and take some photographs, the usual drill. Shay will go with you. So we can get murdered together? Come on, girls, keep the client happy! The Fergusson bach has the biggest screen ever and surround sound. Not entirely professional, but if it stops Mrs Fergusson calling me, the keys are under the gnome with the fishing rod. Got it. Working on it. Woody. I made scrambled eggs. Poppy made you scrambled eggs. Oh, legend. Thanks, Pops! Woody, your daughter needs to start school. I do? Well, that's why you came here, isn't it? That was the main reason. And that the truckies kept hitting on me. Yeah, but you want to go to school, right? Well, unless I go back. Is that what you want? I don't know. You need to enrol her. OK, well, yeah, we'll go to Stafford. No, no, what about Weld? That's the local school. Yeah, but is it the right one, George? Well... We home-schooled Siouxsie for three terms in Year 9. Oh yeah, how'd that go? Not wonderful. OK, well, let's take that off the table, for a start. You need to do this, Woody, and you can't avoid Tracey forever. I have my old reports. I could grab them if you want. We could go now. That'd be great. Maybe you could take her. No, no, no, a parent has to enrol her, and that would be you. All right, all right. Monty, I've got some work to do here, so` Also working. You couldn't do that at your office? Heh, no. No, it annoys people. (COMPUTER CLIP PLAYS) 'Welcome to wonderful, picturesque Weld. 'I'm Monty McNamara, your local real estate agent, and I want to invite you... to paradise.' Monty. Oh, I'm just editing the ad for the cinema. You want to see? No, no, I have to... leave. Do what you have to do. 1 'Jellyfish have roamed the seas for 500 million years, and what does that tell you? 'That to survive in this world, you need to be...' Hey, George. Sean. Is there a reason you're here, Sean? I need somewhere to sit and think. And the meeting, of course. There's a meeting? Brenda's pregnant. Oh. Congratulations. Is the meeting about that? No. That's what I need to sit and think about. So if you don't mind... Yeah, yeah, carry on. (BREATHES HEAVILY) I think my life as I knew it is over. Well, yes, but, you know, they're worth it. How old do they have to be to leave home? Well, 16, legally. But these days, this generation of kids, they can hang around well into their 20s. I was reading the other day. George. Wasn't expecting to see you here today. I do still work here, don't I? Yes, of course, and very soon we're going to be back up and running. What, is Gloria coming back? Not as I'm aware. But you do need to talk to Ngahuia. I do? What about? You'll see. I'll set it up. In the meantime, if Sean and I could have the room, please? If you'd be so kind. Fine. Congratulations, again. Congratulations? What for? Brenda's pregnant. Oh. Exactly. Poppy's weird, eh? Weird how? Just kind of annoying. I feel kind of sorry for her. I mean, she came to live here, and she must feel pretty bad about what happened. If she is getting on your nerves that much, we should go and stay at your house for a bit. Don't you want me at your place? No, no, I love it when you're there, it's just, you know, it is kind of overcrowded at the moment. Well, maybe Poppy will go back to Australia. That would help with the overcrowding. True. I hope she stays. I mean, she seems pretty cool. Thanks. I really, um... Jan's chasing me for this, so I... What are you writing about? It's a bit random this week. Jellyfish. It's not that random. They don't have a spine either. Your mate, Woody. Do you know that he hasn't even contacted Tracey? I am aware of that. Treats her like that, then nothing. Doesn't even care. Yes, he does. You do remember that Woody is a good bloke, right? Bullcrap. Sorry, just... You haven't been dealing with what I've been dealing with. I hate him. Hate his guts. (SOBS) I love him so much. (CRIES) BOTH: # Tears, # I feel them on my cheeks. # Tears, # I've been this way for weeks. # You could've stopped this. I told him to come clean, right at the beginning. I know, I should have, and I tried. Lord knows I tried. Well, then, instead of sitting there, writing about jellyfish, try harder. Put things right. Maybe I already have. What do you mean? Let's just say I have facilitated a meeting which is occurring even as we speak. Hopefully. Hmm. Dad? Dad. Huh? Oh, sorry. Still not used to being called that. I'm still not used to calling someone it. Yeah. I wanted to say, you got this, OK? Yeah, thanks, Pops. I'm really sorry for being a little bit` Hey, Poppy. Hi. Hey, are you starting school? Enrolling, yeah. Yeah, cool. Yeah, cool. Come on, we'll be late. OK, I'll, uh, see you. Come in. Come on. Yeah. Yeah, OK. So, I-I'm Poppy. Yes, I know, nice to meet you. Properly. Yeah, I reckon. Sorry it was so awkward. Not your fault. Those your school reports? Yeah, and the form the lady at the desk told us to fill out. Eh? (MUTTERS) Well, your grades are excellent, Poppy. Did you want to continue with the same subjects? If you have them here. It's pretty much the same as Australia. How long will you be attending? Oh, uh, she'll, um... Well, the whole year, hopefully. Yeah. OK. I did drama, too. Well, it was School of the Air, so it was, like, I had to record myself playing a part and send it in for marking. I did A Midsummer Night's Dream. I was Puck. If we shadows have offended, think but this, and all is mended. That was pretty good, Pops. Don't you reckon, Trace? Um, Poppy, what's your address? We're staying at George's until I find somewhere. Or something else happens. And when would you like to start? As soon as possible, if that's OK. Of course. Just report to the office first thing in the morning, and someone will show you where to go. Thanks. Come on, Trace, can't we just`? What? Nothing. 1 'I guess jellyfish don't have much say in where they wash up, 'given there are much larger forces driving them onward.' George. Jellyfish. Sorry? It's what I'm writing about, in case you're interested, for my column, if I ever get it finished. Then I'll leave you to it. Aren't we supposed to be talking about something? Ah, you're both in the same place. I'm on a roll. At least someone is. George, meet your new boss. Temporarily. We'll see. No, I'm just here for Ike until he works out his stuff. And I thought, while she's here, she could earn some money managing the News Of The World through the transition. What transition? Digital, George. We're ditching the fish and chip wrapping, and we're going online. It's the way of the future. Has been for many years. So you still get to deliver what you want, just the delivery platform will change. So, George, are you up for the challenge? Yeah, sure, OK. Good man. So when is this transition happening? Started already. Go and take a look. Meanwhile, Ngahuia and I have some business to discuss. Excuse us. Good luck with your tepetepe. Sorry, what? Jellyfish. There he is, man of the hour. Am I? Well, whatever you did to get Big Mac to prise open his wallets. My small business thanks you. I can assure you ,I did nothing. Hey, what sort of computer do you want? Uh, whatever I need for whatever job I'm doing. OK. All over it. Hey, um,... how's things going at home? Crowded. Working on making them lesser. I feel like we should do something as a town to help Woody and Tracey, seeing as, turns out, half of us knew about what was going on before she did. What, like, a candlelit vigil for them in memory of lost love? How long are you guys going to be here? I've got to finish my column. Couple of hours, tops. OK, I'm out of here. Hey, I'm looking forward to working with you on something real this time. Oh, um, Big Mac hired me to run the technical side of things. Oh good, good, as well as working on all of your other stuff. Yeah. Yeah, life's pretty full on right now. Hey, um, Shay will be cool with it, right? Us working together. Shay has plenty of other things on her mind at the moment. So she really only comes here once a year? If that. She's really old, and the travel is an issue. And the rest of the time it just sits here? Yeah. There's heaps of baches in Weld like this. Nice if you've got the money, eh? Yeah. Or even if you haven't. (SOBBING) Whoever she is, she's been in there for ages. Thank you, Emily. Hello? Are you OK? Come on out, sweetheart. I'll take you to the guidance counsellor or the school nurse. I'm fine. Tracey? I came in here so the other staff wouldn't see me like this. Stupid kids caring about other kids, when did that happen? He came in. With his daughter, Poppy. She's lovely. Just like her dad. (SOBS) I mean, why should I have to move to Auckland to study early childhood? Because they don't offer the course anywhere closer. Why do I even need a course? Like, how hard can it be? So, do you want me to come to your place or not? Because today it kind of felt like you don't. And I know why. You do? Because of Poppy being there. Yeah, OK. What the hell? Sorry, I know, Dad hasn't really been that subtle about it. What? Having a house full of people is driving him nuts. Oh, right. That. Yeah. And so, he was the one who asked me to ask you, maybe, if you could not come around? Did he? Well, what if I knew of a way that we could change that? Well, that would be excellent. (LAUGHS) (AVALANCHE CITY'S 'KEEP FINDING A WAY') # I feel your heart beating. # Can our love keep finding a way? Your heart's beating, but we're just unsteady. # I feel your heart beating. Can our love keep finding a way? There's no reason... Well, a couple of interlopers in my pool. Whatevs, Grandpa. We're not getting married. Interlopers, not elopers. An interloper is, um, they're someone who gets involved in a situation or a place where they don't belong. Right? Or they're not welcome. Like that Aussie girl at your place? And the rest of them. Uncle Monty's there wearing his lava-lava. Oh, not the lava-lava. He's a middle-aged white guy with short, hairy legs. It's unbecoming. Yeah, so here we are. Well, stay as long as you like. You too, Arlo. It's the least I can do when my middle son is inflicting himself in a sarong on your family. Did you hear that? We can stay as long as we want. OK, well, I should be home for dinner. You're such a nerd, sometimes. Lucky you have me to lead you astray. # There's no reason... Ah! (LAUGHS) 'While jellyfish have a complex nervous system, these floating life forms do not have a brain, 'which is perhaps their secret weapon in enduring life's noise and chaos.' (LAPTOP BEEPS) Oh, for f... # I feel your heart beating. Can our love keep finding a way? # Your heart's beating, but we just aren't steady. I feel your heart beating. # Can our love keep finding a way? There's no reason... # Hey. Did you do this? Tidy up? Yeah. It seemed the least I could do. You didn't have to do that. Well, it felt like I should do something to help. Seeing as most of this is my fault. No, it isn't. And don't you start believing that. Well, thank you anyway. Do you give lessons to other teenagers? How did it go at school? The good news is I'm enrolled. I start tomorrow. And the not good news? They didn't talk to each other at all? Barely. And then only about me. Damn. I know. It was worth a shot, though. Yeah. How's your dad? Not flash. He hardly said anything afterwards and, when we got here, he laid down and he hasn't shifted since. You remember there used to be a hole in the ceiling there? A void. Yes, Woody, I do. If I close my eyes, I can see it again. Except it's just stretching on forever. So is that how long you're planning on being in my bed? (SIGHS) George, I'm not sure about any thing any more. Woody, you had the perfect opportunity to talk to Tracey today` Yeah, and I tried, mate, OK? I swear, I did, but, George, she blanked me. It was cold, man. Well, what did you expect? This was the kind of cold that freezes the marrow in your bones. It was just so cold. OK, that's enough, this stops now. Auf Wiedersehen, Pet! Let the cheese love begin! Just... hold that thought. Can you prep the veggies, please? Oh, George, do you have any beef jerky? No, no, I ` A tasty treat missed. Never mind, we'll make do with eye fillet. We're throwing you a fondue party. Just, just hold on- We salvaged everything we need from the wreckage at Monty's place. It's not wrecked. Well, there's the water damage, George, which I think I've mentioned. There's also the question of the holes in the ceiling. It's not raining. Eh, weather forecast, though. Well, how's the search for the large tarpaulin going? Not great. Well, what about several small tarpaulins then? Water tightness issues, George. Possibly compromising the insurance claim. Wouldn't want to risk it. Of course you don't. George, I know we're imposing, OK, and I swear we'll be out of your hair as soon as we can, insurance issues pending, and Kombi issues. Monty, you do know that there is a motel? Let me just do this one thing for you, George. For three reasons, one, to cheer up Woody` Yeah, well, I reckon some tough love would be a good idea. Well, and Poppy, who was rejected on her arrival in New Zealand. Two, because everyone loves melted cheese in a pot, and three, to say thank you, George, to you. Our saviour, in our hours of need. You're a true friend, George. You are a fondue friend. Right. Evening, fellow book clubbies. Brenda's pregnant. Right. Congratulations and all that. If you tell your partner that you're pregnant and he whimpers, is it a good sign? It's a sign that he's overcome with the emotion of the moment. Brenda's pregnant and Sean whimpered when he heard the news. Oh, further proof that all the men in this town are idiots. Sorry, I mean, congratulations, obviously. I'm sure Sean just needed a minute to get his head around the idea. I've just had to drop Tracey home after I found her crying in the toilets after Woody brought his daughter in to enrol. What the hell was Woody thinking? Couldn't he just wait, instead of rubbing her nose in it? That was sort of an idea I put into George's head. I thought that if Tracey and Woody got talking` But George stuffed it up again. No. We can't blame George for everything. Everyone will blame George anyway. Well, if you're going to blame anyone, blame me. But the point remains, doesn't it, that the two of them need to sit down and talk it through, doesn't it? 'Once these little blobs of evil have taken over an environment, they define that environment.' (KNOCKING ON DOOR) Won't be a minute. Is that an actual minute, or is that one of those minutes that turns into several minutes? Because I've got a real need out here, George, just saying. Well, flushing's optional, then. It's been many years since I last fondued. I'd forgotten the extensive preparations, or maybe this is just the way Monty does it. Arlo. Tell him he's missing a once in a lifetime fondue experience. You're missing a once in a lifetime fondue experience. I am OK with that. Fair call. Where are you? Well, um, you know how you asked me to sort out the Lindsay situation? I have. What, you're at Bill Jr's? No, Big Mac's. OK. Yeah. No, the thing is... he kind of wants us to stay. Both of you? Yeah. Yeah, in fact, he seemed really keen on the idea. The thing about Bill Jr is that he sees the world through the simple eyes of a plumber. But George, a writer, entirely inside his own head. Does he grasp how important it is for you to get out while you're young? To have experiences that will stand you in good stead later on? So it's cool if we stay, then? You can stay as long as you like. In my house, there's many rooms, Arlo, and you can take your pick. You're... moving out? You're moving into Big Mac's? Yeah, so, you can tell Poppy if she wants to crash in my room, that's cool. OK, I-I better go. Arlo, that wasn't what I meant when I said could you help. I wasn't asking you to go anywhere. I know, but, it has helped, right? Anyways, Dad, I'm going to go, but I'll talk to you tomorrow. Yeah, see you. Grandpa's gone out. He said to say goodbye. OK. Want to do it in the pool? OK. (FUNKY MUSIC) Why don't you come out and talk to Smiler while Monty's cooking? Oh, yeah, I'm not really in a Smiler mood. You know, or a Monty mood. I don't know if they're meant to be or not, but they're really funny. It could do you good. Yeah. Nah, I think I'm just going to... stay in here a bit longer. (VIDEO CALL RINGTONE) Sorry, we're interrupting you. No, no, it's all good. Is it, George, is it really all good? I wasn't talking to you, Jan. Sorry, I just got to... It's cool. Well, it's certainly not all good here, because I still have a big, blank page where there should be 800 words on... jellyfish, apparently. I know, and I'm working on it, it will be with you soon. Is this all because of the Woody fiasco? Woody is currently on my bed a few feet away and can hear every word you say. Nah, she's right, mate. It is a fiasco and it's all my fault. So what are you doing to fix it? I don't know, Jan, I'm just... I'm devoid of everything. George. Tell him to stop being a wuss and go and make things right with that lovely woman. I'm working on it, Jan. And you, work on your column while you're at it. Two hours. Come in, come in, the more, the merrier. No! Hello, dearest daughter. We're having fondue. Figured that, with all the cheese and the fondue forks. I have a proposal for you, and you will not say no. I won't? You won't. We need to talk, somewhere quiet. Good luck with that. OK, I've solved the overcrowding crisis by a number of two. Siouxsie and Monty? Siouxsie... and me. There's this place, a holiday home, and it's really nice, and it's empty. Siouxsie said that, in return for minding it, we can live there, for free. You've got to be joking, right? No. OK, right. Really? OK? Well, I guess I have to be. Aren't kids of your generation meant to be living at home well into your 20s? You wanted more space, Dad. Yeah, but not... And I really want to do this. And it's Weld, right ` it's not like anyone's very far away from anyone else. Well, that's certainly true. So... yes? You are OK with this? You know that free doesn't necessarily mean free, right? I mean there are ongoing costs to living life over and above rent. Yes, I know, and Siouxsie and I have a plan for that as well. Well, the beginnings of a plan. You've thought this through, then? Yes. OK. Two in one day. Be careful what you wish for, eh? Huh? Oh, Arlo called. He and Lindsay are holed up in Big Mac's mansion for the foreseeable future. Go, Lindsay. Getting those claws in deep. Oh please don't, I'm trying not to think about it. So what's happening, then? I'll pack up what I need now and I'll come back for the rest tomorrow. What, you're leaving tonight? Yeah, that seems to be the plan. This way, Poppy gets to sleep in an actual bed for the first time on New Zealand soil. Oh. OK, then. Well, I'll` I'll help you move. No, no, no, that's OK. Siouxsie sorted that out. You've heard your boy and my girl are shacked up at Dad's place now? Oh, I wouldn't say they're shacking up, Bill. It's hard when they reject you, isn't it? I don't see it as rejection as such. It's the way it has to be, I guess. So we can evolve as a species. You know, each generation turning against the previous generation to forge a new path. Well, I don't feel she's... turning against me, Bill, it's... (SOBS) Yep. So this is us for now. I'll come back for more stuff tomorrow. OK. Good luck with the house guests. Ta. I'll miss you. I'll see you at the office. I feel better already. Young people. They go away, but they come back. Sometimes. Like jellyfish on a beach. Well, I don't know if I'd put it quite like that, but, uh,... whatever rocks your boat. I'd like to think of it as losing a daughter but gaining much Kombi space. Yeah, about the Kombi, how are you going finding that spare part? The problem with the classic vehicle, George, is that parts are a real bastard to source. (WHISPERS) Oh. On the upside, there's fondue aplenty. OK, clearly Woody isn't going to snap out of this himself, so it's time we did something. We? Yeah, I need you to do your bit. Sure! I'm in! Sit up. Yeah, nah, I tried that, and then the room started spinning, and then it started to disappear into this, like, dark tunnel` Sit. Up. OK. This has gone on long enough. You need to talk to her. What, do you think I don't know that, George? You think I haven't been lying here, thinking that very thought this whole time? I can't, mate. There is nothing I can say to her that is going to make what I've done right. I've tried it 100 different ways in my head, and they all fail. All of them. Poppy, you're on. What? Ah, what the? Sorry, it's what we do in the pub to the drunk jokers when they've passed out cold. I'm not a drunk joker. No, but you needed to wake up. Wake up, get over yourself, then get over to Tracey's. I can't, mate. In that case, I'll go home, back to Mum. What? Me being here has made everything worse. No, no, Poppy, it's, no, it's not your fault, OK? I didn't communicate with Trace, and so... And so? You have a family now, Woody. And you have to fight for that family. I don't know how, mate. Well, you can start by standing up. Now for the tough bit. Hey, Sean? You know when I said we were having a candlelit vigil, I was being facetious, right? Eh? I'm playing Tetris. I'm waiting for Brenda. What? Is Brenda in there? They all are, the book club mob. Oh, no way, George. No, don't you dare walk away now. We've got this close. George, you just heard him, they're all in there. OK, it's going to be hard enough to face her on her own, let alone with the whole committee. I will deal with the book club, right? I will get you across the line so you can talk to Tracey alone. OK? OK? OK. All right. Good. I'd be an asset to any school, anywhere. But you don't want to leave. You love it here. (KNOCKING ON DOOR) Hello? Hi. There's someone here who needs a quick word. I wonder if, as Big Mac would say, we could... have the room? Absolutely. OK. All right, um... OK, I'll just say one thing, and then it's over to you. If you two let this love, this great love you have for each other, die because of something so stupid, then you're an idiot. And you're a stubborn fool. Yes, everything's been cocked up beyond all belief, but I have seen true love die... actually die. I have held it in my arms and seen the light go out. So if you two want to waste something so precious over something so trivial, then you don't deserve each other. I'll leave you to it. I'm so sorry. Me too. (SERENE MUSIC) 1 But you are... happy about it, right? I mean, I know I would be. Well, it's like having someone move in who isn't going to move out. We'd better hope it's good company, I guess. If it takes after you, then it will be. You writing your column? Yeah. Here? Must be one of those days. Oh... what's it about this week? Jellyfish. Hmm. (LAUGHS) And... done. 800 words? As always. Hey, hey, hey, hey, guys, yeah. Hey, it's great that youse care and everything, right, but it's kind of, knowing you're out here, it's throwing me and Tracey off our game, if you get my drift. But we need to know, Woody! Is it on or off? Well, his clothes aren't, so I'm guessing... OK, the answer I have for you is... No. There is no bloody way in hell I'm having a Groomspiel. What's a Groomspiel? Traditional Weld stag party. The wedding's on, it was never in doubt, so bugger off, the lot of you. Me and Tracey got some making up-a to do-a. Yahoo! (ALL LAUGH) Oh, George, can you let Poppy know I'll pick her up first thing in the morning, get her all shifted into her new home. Yeah, I'm sure she'll be happy to hear that. Thanks, Georgie! Well done, George. You saved the day again. More cheese, Enrique? I'm cheesed to the gills, Montero. Ah. It's quiet, isn't it? Don't know what George was complaining about. Is it just me, or are those flashing lights? Nope. Those are definitely flashing lights. Oi! This is my bedroom! There's been a complaint. About what? Mostly you wearing a lava-lava with no shirt on. This is my natural, around-the-house style. Not around George's house. He wants his place back, Monty. Is this true? It's called tough love, Monty. You love me. Well, I'm quite fond of you too. Tough love, tough. It's a saying. Oh, oh yeah, damn it, all right, all right, I love you. Aw. Where am I going to sleep? At your place? What, in the Sieve? The way it is now? No, in the Kombi, which is where it's being towed right now, so I can get some peace and quiet. Well, I suppose that's quite logical on some levels. Hard to think of the level where it's not, actually. Hmm. OK. Well, I'll be off, then. Man, she so has her hooks into you. What? No, this is just temporary until everyone goes. Everyone's gone, Arlo. They have a pool and we don't, so... Uh-huh. (IMITATES WHIP CRACKING) OK, so are you just going to use this as your own personal supermarket now? Pretty much! Right-o, Turners! That is us out of here. Thank you. For everything. No, thank you. See you at school? Yeah, sure. OK, one last time, you sure you're OK with us taking off like this? Yeah, of course I am. Go. Go. OK. 'There was this lone jellyfish, at an aquarium in Townsville a few years back. 'One morning, marine biologists were astounded to find 200 little jellyfish in a tank with it. 'The lone jellyfish had cloned itself. 'It had surrounded itself with others just like it. 'I guess in some species, the need not to be alone is very strong. 'Overwhelming, in fact. To have those like you close at hand to help you get through the day. 'It's a good thing. 'On the other hand, however, it was Albert Einstein who said, '"I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity." 'Now he was a jellyfish who knew his stuff.' Ah. Groomspiel. Groomspiel. Copyright Able 2017