Friends, let me introduce myself. Rand Peltzer's the name. That's me on the corner. I am an inventor and I have a story to tell. I know, who hasn't got a story? Well, nobody's got a story like this It started in Chinatown. I was hitting the shops, moving merchandise,... maybe find a present for my kid. I tried this one place... Wait a minute. What's down here? This is it. This is it. This is your grandfather's store? This is it. This is your grandfather's store? Yeah. Come on. No wonder you gotta drag people off the street. MYSTICAL MUSIC Look around. See if there's somethin' you like. DONG Are these things real? Are these things real? I told ya; everything's real. You have a lot of interesting things but there's something you don't have What's that? What's that? I'll show ya. I'm an inventor, I made this; the Bathroom Buddy. Friends, it eliminates the need to carry heavy luggage when you travel. You got yourself a shaving mirror, toothbrush, toothpick, nail clippers STRANGE CHIRPING STRANGE CHIRPING You got a nail file and a dental mirror. It'll revolutionise travelling. Let's say you're on a bus or a plane or a train. You forgot to brush your teeth. You got a bad case of dragon breath. GONG SOUNDS GONG SOUNDS Bad breath. What do you do? No problem, friend. You take your toothbrush out and push this button. That's absolutely no problem. Cleans up easily. Sir, I'd like to give you my card. Rand Peltzer, fantastic ideas for a fantastic world. I make the illogical logical. I can get you these by the dozen. STRANGE CHIRPING What do you think? STRANGE CHIRPING What do you think? STRANGE CHIRPING Where's that comin' from? CHIRPING CONTINUES What is that? What is that? Mogwai. What is that? Mogwai. (MOGWAI SINGS) What's he doin'? What's he doin'? Singing. He does that sometimes. (SINGING CONTINUES) (SINGING CONTINUES) I gotta have him. He's incredible. I'll give you $100 for him. < No. It's a Christmas present for my son. He's exactly what I'm after and I've been everywhere. That's $200! That's $200! I'm sorry. Mogwai not for sale. You said everything was for sale. Grandfather! Grandfather! With Mogwai comes much responsibility. I cannot sell him at any price. Wait outside. I'll be right out. Just go. OK, Mister. Here it is. OK, Mister. Here it is. Great. What about your grandfather? OK, Mister. Here it is. Great. What about your grandfather? He's crazy. We need the money. You want it or not? You want it or not? I want it. Mister, there's three rules you've gotta follow. What kind of rules? What kind of rules? Keep him out of the light. He hates bright light, it'll kill him. Keep him away from water: don't get him wet. But the most important rule:... no matter how much he cries or begs, never feed him after midnight. You got it? You got it? Sure, kid. Thanks and have a merry Christmas. CHRISTMAS MUSIC Hey, gang! You're rockin' with Ricky Rialto, the voice of Kingstone Falls, USA. # Christmas. # The snow's comin' down. # Christmas. # I'm watching it fall. # Christmas. # Lots of people around. # Christmas. # Baby, please come home. # Christmas. # There's birds in the sky (?) # Christmas. # There's birds in the sky (?) HORN HONKS # Christmas. # All singing a song (?) # Christmas. # What a happy sound. # Christmas. Baby, please come home...# Alex. It's nearly Christmas. You're gonna be stuck with a lot of trees. I thought you'd show up about now. Ow! Ow! What's this? What are you doin' in there? Don't ask. Alex, came to get my tree. Alex, came to get my tree. Pete, take that tree to Mr Anderson's truck. Come on, you can spare one for the boys at the sheriff's station. Come on, you can spare one for the boys at the sheriff's station. I paid for mine, Frank. ENGINE TURNS OVER ENGINE TURNS OVER (WHIMPERS) HISSING Billy, what's wrong? Need a jump? Billy, what's wrong? Need a jump? No, thanks, Mr Futterman. I'm late as it is. God damn foreign cars. They always freeze up. American machines don't do that. My plough hasn't given me a day's trouble in 15 years. You know why? Kentucky Harvester. It ain't some foreign piece of crap you pick up these days. If I wanna keep my job, I should go. How's your comic strip? I expect to see you in the funnies with Smilin' Jack and Li'l Abner. They don't run those comics any more. They don't run those comics any more. They don't? Come on, Barn. Say hello to your wife for me. Come on, Barn. Say hello to your wife for me. Yeah, sure. So long. God damn foreign cars. HAPPY MUSIC Hey, Dr Molinaro. Hey, Dr Molinaro. 'Morning, Billy. 'Morning. 'Morning. Hey, Billy, Barney. Get in there. Be quiet. DREAMY MUSIC You just made it. You just made it. Again. Billy, will you sign this petition? Billy, will you sign this petition? Sure. What's it for? We're trying to save Dory's Pub. Deagle wants to take his lease away. His too, huh? His too, huh? She says it's a public nuisance. That's where Dad proposed to Mom. That's where Dad proposed to Mom. That's where everybody's dad proposed to their mom. Thanks. IMPOSING MUSIC Good morning, Mrs Deagle. Good morning, Mrs Deagle. What's good about it? Good morning, Mrs Deagle. What's good about it? Oh. Klutz! Watch it! Watch it! ...40, 60, 80... ...40, 60, 80... CAR HORNS HONK Ah, sure, 200. Thank you. Mrs Deagle? Mrs Deagle? What? What? I wanted to tell you Joe got a job. I wanted to tell you Joe got a job. Joe? I wanted to tell you Joe got a job. Joe? My husband, Joe Harris. I've taken up sewing on the side... I've taken up sewing on the side... CHILDREN COUGH I've taken up sewing on the side... CHILDREN COUGH What are you saying? Neither of us will be paid for two weeks. Could you get Mr Corban to give us more time? The bank and I have the same purpose in life: to make money. Not to support a lot of deadbeats. Mrs Deagle, it's Christmas! Now you know what to ask Santa for. Mommy, I'm hungry. Mommy, I'm hungry. Yes, honey. So am I. This is what's left of my imported snowman! Your dog broke it! I'm sorry. Tell me how much I owe you, I'll... I'm sorry. Tell me how much I owe you, I'll... I don't want money. I want your dog. I want your dog. (WHIMPERS) Barney? Barney? Give him to me. I'll take him to the kennel. They'll put him to sleep. It'll be painless compared to what I could do to him. What could you do? I'll catch the beast myself, then he'll get what he deserves;... a slow painful death. I'll put him in my spin dryer on high heat. That'd to it all right. That'd to it all right. (BARKS) That'd to it all right. (BARKS) (SHRIEKS) Barney! Barney! Barney, get away from her. My dear, are you all right? My dear, are you all right? I have a weak heart. I can't stand a shock like that. What is that dog doing here?! What is that dog doing here?! This is a bank, not a pet store! What is that dog doing here?! This is a bank, not a pet store! Very good, Gerald. Barney wouldn't have hurt you. Excuses. You're just like your father. I've listened to his excuses for 10 years, the loser! As for you, you mangy cur, I'll get you. When you least expect it. (CRIES) Oh, my heart. (CRIES) Oh, my heart. I must apologise for his behaviour. You putz. The old bat never looked better. You're doin' fine. The old bat never looked better. You're doin' fine. Thanks. Hello, Gerald. If it isn't Captain Clip-On. Guess who almost lost their job? I give up. I give up. You. But Mr Corban had second thoughts. He gets sentimental about the holidays. Imagine that. Imagine that. Yeah. I would've fired you. Well, merry Christmas to you too. Excuse me, Mr Jones. Peltzer, I'm junior vice-president at 23. By the time I'm 25 I'll have Mr Corban's job. I'll be a millionaire by 30. Look at you. You're supporting your family. The world's changing, Peltzer. You gotta change with it, be tough. Tough? And no one's tougher than you, eh, Ger? Don't call me that. My name's Gerald Don't call me that. My name's Gerald Can I get you a drink? Don't call me that. My name's Gerald Can I get you a drink? Vodka martini. Shake, don't stir. You're workin' here? You're workin' here? Yeah, so Dory doesn't have to pay an extra waitress. I think that's great. I think that's great. It's swell if you like working for nothing. Two more rounds for the pool table. They're on the house. Kate, you haven't seen my new apartment. Kate, you haven't seen my new apartment. I haven't seen your old apartment. Come on. Can't we have dinner tomorrow? I'm working. Tell Dory you're sick. He can't dock your pay. (LAUGHS) Billy, is that you? Billy, is that you? Yeah, Ma, it's me. Billy, is that you? Yeah, Ma, it's me. I'm in the kitchen. Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas, George. Merry Christmas, movie house. Merry Christmas, emporium. Hi, Ma. Hi, Ma. Hi, sweetie. Do you need any help? Do you need any help? Umm, yeah. You could do the eggs. OK. OK. Thanks. CLUCKING CLUCKING Dad's machines work so well the first few weeks. Use the sink. Mom, is something wrong? Mom, is something wrong? No. It's a sad movie. (SIGHS) How was your day? It was fine. Come on, what is it? What's wrong? Mrs Deagle called again. DING (RAND SINGS CHRISTMAS CAROLS) Let's not talk about it in front of Dad. Let's not talk about it in front of Dad. Fine with me. # Don we now our gay apparel, fa-la-la, la-la-la, la la la. # Hi, sweetheart. Welcome home. Welcome home. Hi, Dad. I'm glad you're back. How was the trip? I'm glad you're back. How was the trip? Great. The Miracle Company might be interested in the Bathroom Buddy. The Miracle Company might be interested in the Bathroom Buddy. Oh, great. # Tra la-la la-la. # # Tra la-la la-la. # Thanks, Dad. # Tra la-la la-la. # Thanks, Dad. You're gonna like this. What is it? A bird cage? Don't shake it. You'll have to open it now. (BARKS) (BARKS) (MOGWAI BARKS) It's a puppy, isn't it? I can tell. It's a new car. Honey, dim the lights, please. Honey, dim the lights, please. Sure. 'Dim the lights'? Does it glow in the dark. 'Dim the lights'? Does it glow in the dark. It's important. Trust me. Go ahead. Open it. > (MOGWAI SQUEALS) What is it? What is it? (GROWLS) What is it? (GROWLS) It's your new pet. Be good, Barney. < You're kidding. Dad, it's really neat. Where did you get this? Where did you get this? A store in Chinatown. Can I pick him up? Can I pick him up? Sure. Go ahead. Just be careful. I will. I will. I hope he's house broken. Hey. Isn't he cute? Has it got a name? Yeah; Mogwai. What? What? Mogwai. Some Chinese word. I call him Gizmo. He seems to like it. OK, Gizmo. Look up here. Hey, we're gonna get our picture taken. Smile. Hey, we're gonna get our picture taken. Smile. Ready? One, two, three. Light bright! Bright! Bright! Light bright! Bright! Bright! No, no. What happened? What happened? He hates bright lights. I forgot to tell you some important things. Number one, he hates bright lights. Keep him out of the sunlight, it'll kill him. Number two, keep him away from water. Don't give him any to drink, and don't give him a bath. And the most important thing, don't ever feed him after midnight. GIZMO SINGS (PANTING) SQUEALS SHOUTS ANGRILY (LAUGHS) Gizmo. Shhh. Uh-oh. Looks like you hurt yourself. Ah! Bright lights! Bright lights! Ahh. Sit there and don't fall off. I'll have you fixed up in no time. All right, hold still. SQUEALS SQUEALS Ooh, sorry. Sorry. Try not to move so much. CHATTERS Goodnight, Giz. See you in the morning. Goodnight, Giz. See you in the morning. YAWNS It started in Chinatown. I was hitting the shops, 1 DRAMATIC MUSIC WHIRRING Hello? Mr Peltzer? I got your tree. Oh, Christ! Billy! Hey, Billy. I brought in your Christmas tree. What happened? What happened? Slight problem with the Peltzer Peeler-Juicer. I thought your dad fixed it. I thought your dad fixed it. He thought so too. You should buy juice in cartons, it's easier. See? It works. GIZMO: TV. I had to come. I had to come. So I see. I can see it takes a certain kind of guy. I can see it takes a certain kind of guy. That guy needs a certain kind of dame. Varoom! Varoom! (MAKING CAR SOUNDS) You can leave it up here. What are you going to tell her? I'll tell her a bunch of bikers stole it from me on the way home. Wow! Hooded Menace. Issue number one Pretty neat, huh? Pretty neat, huh? Yeah. Where did you get it? Dr Fantasies, I think. (SQUEAKING SOUNDS) (SQUEAKING SOUNDS) What's that? I'll show you. This is my new pet. My dad gave it to me. I'll show you. This is my new pet. My dad gave it to me. Neat. What's his name? His name's Gizmo. He's a Mogwai. Mogwai. (PURRING) Cute. Blink your eyes. Can you do that? Come on, Gizmo. Watch. Maybe he'll sing. Come on, Giz. Let's go. I'll be careful. Where can I get one of those? I don't know. It's the only one I've ever seen. Can I hold him? Can I hold him? Sure. I don't see why not. He seems to like you. He seems to like you. (SCREAMS) Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot. Sorry. What was in that jar? What was in that jar? Nothing. Just water. Why is he making that noise? POP! What is it? What is it? I don't know. Is it alive? Is it alive? I don't know. (GROWLING SOUNDS) WHINING POPPING SOUNDS WHINING BABY NOISES WHIMPERING WHINE SQUEAKING SOUND JITTERING SOUNDS JITTERING SOUNDS One, two, three, four, five new ones Now can I have one? Now can I have one? I don't know. That one's got a cute little stripe on its head. SNIGGERING SNIGGERING Isn't that incredible, Pete? Yeah, right. This is incredible. It's neat. I'm serious, it's neat. JITTERY SOUNDS Gizmo, what's the matter? Hey, Dad. There's something I have to tell you Look at this. You're familiar with the Bathroom Buddy, right? Look at this. You're familiar with the Bathroom Buddy, right? Uh-huh. I've made an improvement. Watch this Let's say you're late for the big meeting. You're on your way in, you reach up (GASP). You forgot to shave. What will you do? Under normal circumstances you're in trouble. But not if you had the Bathroom Buddy. Watch this. Wa-la! What do you think? That's pretty neat. What's this button over here? What's this button over here? Don't push that. Sorry, Dad. Sorry, Dad. That's OK. I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry. It's not your fault. The reason I came up here is that there's a problem with the Mogwai. The reason I came up here is that there's a problem with the Mogwai. Yeah, what's that? It multiplies with water. What? CHATTERING See what I mean? See what I mean? I don't believe it. All that from water? All that from water? Plain water. They're not like Gizmo. The one with the stripe seems to be boss. I bet every kid in America would like to have one of these. I bet every kid in America would like to have one of these. Hmmm. They might even replace the dog as the family pet. SNIGGERING Think about it - the Peltzer pet. This would really be the big one. (SNORING) MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC WHINING SOUNDS Barney? BARNEY BARKS WHINING Barney? Who did this to you? Hold on. I'll get you down. Poor dog. Another minute and he would've been dogsicle. I'm positive I closed and locked the door. Then how else did she get out? Then how else did she get out? Billy, we can't point any fingers. Not even at Mrs Deagle. She's been threatening him for weeks. She'd love to get him. She's been threatening him for weeks. She'd love to get him. We don't have any proof. We can't find footprints outside. We can't find footprints outside. I'll take Barney to your grandmother's. I'll take him on the way to the convention and pick him up later. BOILING SOUNDS I don't think we can drink this. What's wrong with this? SCHOOL BELL RINGS Billy, is that a Mogwai? Billy, is that a Mogwai? Yeah. I'm going to have Mr Hanson check it out. All of a sudden there were five new ones. Watch this. Uh-oh! POP! MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC Mogwai. Can I keep one of these here? Can I keep one of these here? Yeah. I can spare one. < This is some Christmas. First, the bank closes the factory, now it's my plough. Mr Futterman, it's time to go home. Mr Futterman, it's time to go home. How about one more beer? Mr Futterman, it's time to go home. How about one more beer? No. For another beer, I'll help you clean up. For another beer, I'll help you clean up. No, thanks. It's OK. (LAUGHS DRUNKENLY) You'll be OK. You'll be OK. I won't. How'd you like it if they put foreign parts in your plough? I mean everything; gaskets, pistons, spark-plugs. All foreign. Hey, Billy. Hey. Hey, Billy. Hey. Hi, Mr Futterman. Going home. Going home. Oh. Oh yeah. Gremlins. You gotta watch them foreigners. They plant gremlins in their machinery. Gremlins brought down our planes in the big one. The big one? The big one? That's right. World War Two. Good old WWII. PLOUGH STARTS PLOUGH STALLS PLOUGH STALLS They're still shipping them over here. They put them in cars, TVs, stereos, the radios you put in your ears. They put teeny ones in your watches. Don't drive. Why don't you walk home? Katie, I think I'll walk home. Katie, I think I'll walk home. Good. Katie, I think I'll walk home. Good. It's a nice night. Good night, kids. Good night, kids. Good night. Good night. Ah, gremlins. (CELL PHONES BEEP) Huh? Oh! (VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRS) (WHOOSH!) (BARKS) (CELL PHONE BEEPS) Oh! To help keep you safe if there's an emergency, all compatible mobile phones are now able to receive emergency mobile alerts. (CELL PHONES BEEP) Huh? Oh! (WHOOSH!) (BARKS) So when you hear this sound,... (CELL PHONE BEEPS) ...stop doing what you're doing and follow the instructions. (BEEP! BEEP!) I know, who hasn't got a story? 1 # Silent night, holy night. # All is calm, all is bright. # Round yon virgin mother and child # Holy infant so... # That was really good, you know, the way you handled Mr Futterman. I'm used to it. He's been like that since he lost his job. He's like a lot of people here; he wants somebody to listen. Especially around the holidays. Why's that? Why's that? That's when a lot of people get depressed. I always thought everyone was happy during the holidays. I always thought everyone was happy during the holidays. Some people aren't. While everyone else is opening up presents, they're opening up their wrists. Cheery thought. Cheery thought. The suicide rate's the highest around the holidays. Now I'm depressed. Do you get depressed on Christmas? I don't celebrate Christmas. I don't celebrate Christmas. What? Are you Hindu or something? I don't celebrate Christmas. What? Are you Hindu or something? No. I just don't like to. What's not to like? It's fun. What's not to like? It's fun. God! Say you hate Thanksgiving and nobody cares. But say you hate Christmas and people make you feel like a leper. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's OK. I'm just a little tired and cranky. Yeah. Thanks for walking me home, Billy. Hey, no problem. 'Night. 'Night. Good night. Ah, Kate! Umm, I was wondering, do you get any nights off from Dory's? Thursdays. Thursdays. Thursdays, yeah. I was just wondering, um,... if you're not doing anything this Thursday, maybe you'd like to go on a date? I'd love to. Oh, yeah? That's great. I... Yeah, well, we can talk about it on the phone and square everything away. 'Night, Billy. 'Night. MOGWAI CHATTERS Hey there. Hi. Give me your arm, buddy. Come on. Give me your arm. No, this is not going to hurt. This won't hurt a big guy like you. This won't hurt a big guy like you. (CRIES OUT) There you go. That's not so bad. Good, good. OK, just a little blood test, pal. You'll never miss it. DRAMATIC MUSIC "They're like huge seed pods." "This must be the way that body in my closet was formed." "Miles, where do they come from?" Havin' fun? Fun! Fun! Pretty neat, huh? Fun! Pretty neat, huh? Neat. MOGWAI ALL CRY OUT What is it with you guys? I've already fed you. CRYING REACHES FEVER PITCH It's not 12 o'clock yet. Keep an eye on them, Giz. I'll be back soon. MOGWAI WHISPER FURTIVELY Here we go. Now maybe you'll be quiet FRENZIED EATING You guys are really hungry. HICCUPS Want some, Giz? Want some chicken? Want some chicken? Uh-uh. All right. Yum-yum. That's it, buddy. Let's call it a night. That's it, buddy. Let's call it a night. < (EVILLY) Night. TV BLARES "Can't you see? They're after you! They're after all of us! "They're here already! You're next! "You're next! You're next! You're next!..." MOGWAI LAUGH EVILLY Uh-oh. Mom! Mom! Yeah? Mom! Yeah? Come up here, please. I want you to bring the vacuum cleaner up here for me...Huh?! What are they? What are they? The Mogwai, I guess. Except for Gizmo. Did you get them wet or something? Did you get them wet or something? No. Did you feed them after midnight? Did you feed them after midnight? I gave them some chicken, but I made sure it... No, no. Wait a minute. I made sure. Mom, what's going on here? GIZMO: Mogwai. Yuck! Wouldn't you say this was the putrid stage? Pupal stage. Like a butterfly? Like a butterfly? Right. This is a cocoon and inside he's going through changes. Lots of changes. Lots of changes. Like my mother? Lots of changes. Like my mother? No, that's different. This is called the metamorphosis. It's a change in form and in appearance. (HUMMING) PHONE RINGS WEAKLY Hello? Hello? Hi, honey. No, I'm sure it works fine. I was just out on the back porch. No, I'm sure it works fine. I was just out on the back porch. The convention's great. I said, it's great. The competition's more advanced than I expected. There are some really neat things. < Oh, Rand. You've never been so far away on Christmas Eve before. I know it's Christmas Eve. I'll do the best I can. I'll do the best I can. All right. 'Bye-bye. It was only $36... It was only $36... It's completely out of my hands. I'm under such terrible pressure. Why don't you speak to Mrs Deagle? Speak to Mrs Deagle? (CHUCKLES) Mrs Deagle! Mrs Deagle! Deposit this to my account. Where's your psychotic canine? Hiding under the counter? Where's your psychotic canine? Hiding under the counter? He's on vacation. If I catch him, he's in for a slow death. It started in Chinatown. I was hitting the shops, 1 SOUND OF HEART BEATING Here's Mr Bird's heart. Small animals lose heat fast. Their blood must circulate faster to keep them warm. Small birds' hearts beat 600 times per minute, cats 130, man about 75, elephants 25. (GOOFY VOICE) Is that a human heart? LOUD HEARTBEAT HEARTBEAT GETTING FASTER OMINOUS MUSIC GROWL GROWLING AND GROANING SOUND OF BOX THUMPING SCHOOL BELL Merry Christmas. Any of you wanna buy me tickets to the Super Bowl, that would be very nice. CHILDREN CHATTER AND IGNORE TEACHER (FILM) It weighs three quarters of a pound, but the work it turns out is incredible. Guess how long it takes your heart to pump a quart of blood. Guess how long it takes your heart to pump a quart of blood. A couple of minutes? You're way off. It takes 10 seconds. In 10 minutes, it would fill a car's gas tank. In 10 hours it would fill a gas truck. Billy? It just hatched. I'll be right there. GROWLING Hey there. You remember me? Remember me, don't you? I got you a candy bar. I thought you might be hungry. Are you hungry? Mmm? You should try one of these. They're... They're... FILM STARTS UP SOUND OF GLASS SHATTERING SCAMPERING FOOTSTEPS Come here. Don't be afraid. Where'd you go? I know you're in there. Come on, now. You're not still angry about that blood test, are you? Take a bite. Let me see you. I just wanna see you. Here. Here. < Ohhh... < Yum, yum. There now. Don't you feel better? Ahh! Mr Anderson? DRAMATIC MUSIC (SCREECHING) Yum, yum. RAVENOUS EATING SOUNDS Ewwww! CRUNCHING GLASS BANGING (SQUEALING) SOUND OF ACTIVITY UPSTAIRS NERVOUS TWITTERING OMINOUS MUSIC BANGING ON DOOR PHONE RINGS Yes. Billy! Where are you? Mom, they hatched. Get out of the house. Mom, they hatched. Get out of the house. Oh, no. Mom? Mom? Billy... # Do you hear what I hear? Do you hear what I hear,... # said the night wind to the little lamb? # Do you see what I see? Do you see what I see...? # FRANTIC MUSIC # Do you hear what I hear? # A song, a song, high above the tree, with a voice...# MUSIC SLOWS DOWN AND STOPS OMINOUS MUSIC CLOCK STRIKES DEVOURING SOUNDS (GROWLS) Yum, yum. (BURPS) (SHRIEKS) Get out of my kitchen! DRAMATIC MUSIC Ahh! (GROANS) DING! RATTLING SOUND Ahh! DRAMATIC MUSIC SCREAMING Hey! Mom, are you all right? Mom, are you all right? (I think so.) AGONISING SCREAMS (GROWLS) Mom, it's Stripe. Mom, it's Stripe. (BLOWS NOSE) WINDOW SHATTERS, STRIPE LAUGHS MANIACALLY It started in Chinatown. I was hitting the shops, 1 DOORBELL RINGS DOORBELL RINGS Shall I get it? DOORBELL RINGS Shall I get it? Yeah, go ahead. Hello, Dr Morinaro. Could we come in, please? Mom's had an accident. Hello, Dr Morinaro. Could we come in, please? Mom's had an accident. What is it? Billy, be careful. What happened? FOOTSTEPS Giz? (SQUEALS) (SQUEALS) I'm sorry. Come here. They almost got you, huh? (ROBOT) The question is totally without meaning. Pardon me, sir. Would 60 gallons be sufficient? I rarely use it myself. It promotes rust. Don't worry, Giz. We'll find him. ALARM BELL RINGS SNEEZE Ahh! BUBBLING NOISES Little monsters? Little monsters? < Right. Little monsters? < Right. Hundreds of them? I'm not sure. Maybe thousands. I know it sounds crazy, but in hours this town will be a disaster area. You've got to warn people! You've got to warn people! Do you think this kid is drunk? You've got to warn people! Do you think this kid is drunk? No, but you are. I'm not drunk. Where do these gremlins come from? Where do these gremlins come from? My father gave me one as a present. Did your father always give you vicious little monsters as presents? No! They don't start out vicious. Of course not. They look like this. Could you dim the lights, please? Could you dim the lights, please? Sure. Brent, dim the lights. GREMLINS' VOICES LAUGHTER ON TV # 'Tis the season to be jolly, fa-la-la-la-la...# Right, Murray? Quit messing with the TV. Quit messing with the TV. You have the thingy. Oh. Goddamn foreign TV. I told you, we shoulda got a Zenith. (SPEAKS IN FRENCH) I can't get a damn thing on this. Where are you going? Where are you going? I'm gonna check the antenna. Be careful, dear. OMINOUS MUSIC BOTTLES FALL OVER GREMLINS' VOICES GREMLINS' VOICES What the hell is that? ENGINE STARTS Ah! LAUGHING SCREAMING Stop! Ahhh! HEAVY BREATHING Yum, yum. > Hello, Anderson. Do you want to mail something? Just a last minute package. Just a last minute package. Be my guest. JOVIAL MUSIC CAR HORNS, SCREECHING TYRES CRASH! Patriotic little fella, isn't he? Coochy-coochy-coo! Coochy-coochy-coo! Careful, Frank, he might tear your arm off. How can a cute guy like this turn into a thousand ugly monsters? This is before the pupal stage. Plus it multiplies with water. Plus it multiplies with water. PHONE RINGS < Sheriff's office. Yeah, speaking. What? Oh, no. Yeah, yeah, sure. We'll be right over. Something about a snow plough. Freak accident. It's the creatures! The creatures are making it look like an accident! Sheriff! Will you listen to me? Sheriff! Will you listen to me? You listen to me, kid! Go home, take little Gizmo there, and open your Christmas presents. OK? < Let me drive. < Let me drive. < No, you're drunk. < You always get to drive! < You always get to drive! < I'm the sheriff. PHONE RINGS Grrrrr! Deagle, Deagle! CAT MEOWS CAT MEOWS Go back! Stop that, you bad kitty. You stop that. You start eating before everybody gets here. Come on. Yes, here we go. I'll fetch you something. Everybody here? CAT MEOWS VICIOUSLY CAT MEOWS VICIOUSLY All right. SINGING Christmas carollers. I hate Christmas carollers. Screechy voices. I warned you rats! SCREECHY SINGING (SCREAMS) What are they? What are they?! Ahhhhh! They've come for me! I'm not ready! I'm not ready yet! (SCREAMS) GRAVE MUSIC My God. That was Mrs Deagle. SHOUTING Jesus, Frank. That's Dave Myers. He does Santa every year. But what the hell is he doing now? What's that stuff all over him? Frank, I really think we should go. I'd really like to go back. < Frank, please. < Frank! SIREN GLASS SHATTERING Frank, what the hell are those things? It's supposed to be Christmas. What the hell's going on?! It's supposed to be Christmas. What the hell's going on?! Shut up, will ya?! Frank! DRAMATIC MUSIC ENGINE STARTS ENGINE STARTS I don't believe it. (RADIO) You're on with Rocking Ricky! Go! (RADIO) You're on with Rocking Ricky! Go! Hi. My name's Pete. These little guys with big teeth are running around town. Hey, kid. It's Christmas, not Hallowe'en. I'm getting fed up with this Orson Wells crap. I'm getting fed up with this Orson Wells crap. GLASS SHATTERS What's that? SOUND OF GREMLIN SOUND OF GREMLIN Hey, you're not a Rocking Ricky fan. Ouch! Ahhh! It started in Chinatown. I was hitting the shops, 1 Sir, I notice that you're a smoker. Sir, I notice that you're a smoker. Hmm? Sir, I notice that you're a smoker. Hmm? I notice you're a smoker. I also notice this broken ashtray. I also notice this broken ashtray. Oh, yeah. It's fortunate that I've come by. I'm Randall Peltzer. I'm an inventor Fantastic ideas for a fantastic world. I have something here that I think you might be interested in. I have something here that I think you might be interested in. Oh? This is the Peltzer smokeless ashtray. This can solve your problems. PARTY MUSIC Just don't bite me, please. Ahh! SLOW JAZZ MUSIC (GROWLS DEEPLY) BABBLING SOUNDS FAST POP MUSIC SIREN SIREN WINDS DOWN OK, OK. CAR HORN Are you all right? Let's get out of here! Are you all right? Let's get out of here! FRANTIC MUSIC Don't worry about him. He's with me. He's not one of them. Why isn't the car starting? We're gonna have to make a run for it, OK? One, two, three! SCREAMING They've been here too. Billy, what are these things? Where do they come from? Billy, what are these things? Where do they come from? They're gremlins, Kate. Just like Mr Futterman said. Now I have another reason to hate Christmas. Now I have another reason to hate Christmas. What are you talking about? The worst thing that ever happened to me was one Christmas. > It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was nine. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home. A couple of hours went by. Dad wasn't home. Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. The police began to search. Four or five days went by. We couldn't eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. The house was freezing, so I went to try and light up the fire. And that's when I noticed the smell. A fireman came and broke through the chimney top. We expected him to pull out a dead cat. Instead, they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He was climbing down the chimney on Christmas Eve... He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck - died instantly. That's how I found out there is no Santa Claus. Don't worry about that smoke. It'll stop. That's a guarantee. COUGHING DOG BARKS DOG BARKS Barney, shut up. 'SILENT NIGHT' PLAYS Where did they all go? Where did they all go? It'll be light soon. I bet they're off to someplace dark. OMINOUS MUSIC GIZMO CHATTERS NERVOUSLY (They're inside.) (They're inside.) All of them? Friends, let me introduce myself. GENERAL COMMOTION JOVIAL CARTOON MUSIC # Hi ho! # Hi ho! # Hi ho! # Hi ho, hi ho. It's off to work we go...# GREMLINS SING What are they doing? What are they doing? They're watching Snow White! And they love it. Where's the boiler room? Where's the boiler room? In the back of the theatre. MUSIC FROM SNOW WHITE (Down there.) (SNIFFS) Yum. Ahh. Yum, yum. Cover your mouth. Don't breathe any gas. Cover your mouth. Don't breathe any gas. HISSING SOUND Billy. Billy! Ahh! Billy! Hurry up! OK! Watch out! Come on! DRAMATIC POUNDING MUSIC SCREAMING Ahh! Billy - in the department store... Stripe. That's Stripe. He's the leader. If he gets to water, it'll start all over again. (GRUNTS) Yep, yep! Take Giz, go back, and try and find some kind of light switch. ROMANTIC MUSIC Careful, Billy. > GROWLS Billy. (GROWLS) WHIRRING (PA) Right now in our garden centre, buy an imported snow plough... TOYS WHIRR (PA) Attention, shoppers. Saturday morning we'll have Santa Claus for all the kiddies. (GROWLS) I know, who hasn't got a story? 1 (PA) ...on sale this week for... BELL RINGS Ooof! (GROWLS) (PURRS) Ah! Light bright! 'Bye-bye, Billy. (EVIL LAUGH) CHAINSAW STARTS UP GIZMO CHATTERS It takes a certain kind of guy. And that guy needs a certain kind of dame. BIRDS CHIRP GROANS Ah. Glub, glub. (GROWLS) Gun. (RADIO) It's been a rough night for Rockin' Ricky, but he's still on the air. (RADIO) The marines are standing by with firehoses... Barney. Barney! RUMBLING TYRES SCREECH HORN HONKS Billy. (LAUGHS) GUNSHOT TYRES SCREECH (GROANING) (LAUGHS) Gizmo, car-car. Bright light! Bright light! (GROANING) BARKS (GROANING AND GASPING) What the hell is that? GIZMO SQUEAKS Come here, Giz. OK? Dad? Your scarf. GIZMO GROANS BUBBLING GROANS DOG WHIMPERS (TV) We go now to a live report from the Christmas Eve riots. This is Lew Landers, WDHB's action news, at the site of Dory's Tavern in Kingston Falls. Officials are blaming mass hysteria for the series of unexplained fires and accidents... that rocked this once peaceful town on Christmas Eve. Deagle, widow of stock-swindler Donald Deagle,... seems to spell an end to the controversial chemical project. I bet he'd like some chicken soup. Huh?! Honey, this is the gentleman who sold me the Mogwai. Sold. An interesting choice of words. ...conflicting eyewitness reports concerning 'little green men'. You teach him to watch television? Hey... Hey... (GROWLS) There was, I believe, a box. (CONVERSES WITH MOGWAI) Dad? (CONVERSES WITH MOGWAI) Your scarf. Your scarf. (Forget it.) I warned you. With Mogwai comes much responsibility, but you didn't listen. See what happens? I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it. You do with Mogwai what your society has done with all of nature's gifts. You do not understand! You are not ready. Poppa! Poppa! Yes? He has something to say to you. ROMANTIC MUSIC You understand what he says? You understand what he says? To hear, one has only to listen. 'Bye, Billy.' Perhaps some day you may be ready. Until then, Mogwai will be waiting. Before you go, I'd like to say I'm truly sorry for what happened. And I'd like to give you this small token. This is the only one, there's one to other...It's an invention of mine Smokeless ashtray. How did you know that? How did you know that? Man at gas station tried to sell me. Latest word in technology. Very generous of you. I'm sure it will come in handy. 'Bye-bye, woof woof. Mogwai, Mogwai! # Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to...# WISTFUL MUSIC That's the story. So if your air-conditioner goes on the fritz or your washing machine blows up,... before you call the repairman, turn on the lights, check the cupboards and under the beds... because you never can tell. There just might be a gremlin in your home. SUBTITLES BY FIONA JAMIESON AND PAUL MOOR. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air.