1 Captions by John Gibbs. Edited by Antony Vlug. www.able.co.nz Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. Copyright Able 2018 (SOFT MUSIC) (CELL PHONE RINGS) Hi, hon. Hi. So, Felike's mowed the lawns, and he's done the weed eating. The weed spraying? Is there anything else? Yeah, the weed spraying, sorry. The weed spray. Yeah. Yeah. Can you just`? Is there anything else you need him to do? Can you just ask him to polish those caskets, please? With the pink spray. OK, no problem. Yep. And then that's him? That's him. He's finishing after that? Ae, thanks mum. OK. OK. No worries. Bye. Buh-bye. I love all my staff so much, you know? All of 'em. But Felike is my favourite. Felike keeps the lawns, the gardens tidy, general duties for me; he keeps the cars clean; he trims the caskets. He just knows what to do. I have bought Felike a van, a white van. And I don't think my wife's very happy. It's cheap... It's... It looks crappy. It's so not Tipene Funerals' style. I don't think the staff are very happy because` And I don't know why, because it's not their money. We looked at it, and I was like, 'Look what I got for Felike, you know, to drive, to transport the caskets from Henderson to here, Westerns to` You know, just moving them around ` Empty of course, just so that we can stock up. And they're like, 'What? What is this piece of (BLEEP)?' He bought it from backpackers. I'm like, 'What the hell?' And you wanna bring it near the funeral home where we come out looking all classy? Oh, hell-to-the-no. It's embarrassing. Do you have any carved rosewood 14s, 22-14s, in stock? The Maori carve, yes. Beautiful, thank you so much, Alan. Thanks mate, bye. Buh-bye. Morning, uncle. My Auntie Kataraina Kanara has just passed away. We're gonna leave Onehunga about quarter past ten, so we arrive there at 11 o'clock, eh? Looking after my own whanau is... stressful. This is Auntie Kataraina's casket. Not in that, 'Oh, my whanau, kahore.' It's like, 'Oh, my goodness. 'I do not wanna get this wrong or bugger it up.' Beloved husband or beloved wife? So I've just changed stuff, because we had that. Beloved` You're right. Beloved wife of Paul. One step off your game, there you go. And you see, had that gone to The Herald and been printed, oh, that's all we would of remembered. OK, Auntie, we're gonna place you in your waka. Ka pai? You look amazing. Aw. Auntie Kataraina, she was... a lovely, beautiful auntie of ours. Hang on, Auntie, all right. One, two three. Beautiful. She was always supportive of me and Francis. Auntie, I'm just gonna position you so that you look amazing for the people, eh? So just lift that hand there and bring it over here, Auntie. Just a little bit. That red is very striking, eh? Eh, dear? Yeah. Just recently, I lost my Dad in September. Um. I think... (INHALES SHARPLY) personal loss is really hard. When you work on your own family and you're taking care of them, there's just this big weight on your shoulder. Like, 'Get it right or else.' You know? Eh, dear? And when I was looking after your father when he died ` we've got your mother who was a funeral director, you who was a funeral director, your brother ` for me it was like, 'Oh, gosh. I wanna go in the casket as well.' No one would ever wanna do their own parent. You weren't that much under pressure when you did dad. You did a marvellous job with dad. You look the bomb dot com. Did you just say that? I don't believe it. I don't believe Nona said that to me. You did. You know you did. I feel amazing because she never compliments me. I just felt like` You were just hiding cos you were scared that we were gonna blow you up. Yeah, I was like, 'Oh...' And you know that lipstick that's very natural? Can you put a bit of that on her, just here? I want Auntie to wear lipstick although she doesn't wear make up. Yeah, that's amazing. Can you cake some more on? I just want a little bit of sparkle on her lips. (HUMS) Aw, you look lovely, Auntie. Am I worried I might get into trouble? Not really, cos I can just take it off. You know, I trust my eye and think, 'Amazing. If the colour's way off, you know. You know. Darling. In the chapel. Not yet, don't bring them in. We'll put Auntie in, eh? Is there a Kaikaranga? Can you just ask if there's` Yes, yes, come on. What I would like is ` I would like my wife to do the Karanga. To call the whanau into the chapel to see Auntie Kataraina. Yes, into the chapel. Please. And some might say, 'Ooh, but that's not a marae; why are you calling her in there?' Well, why I'm doing that is because we've finished, we've completed the mahi. And so, when the whanau walk through those double doors, we're entering into another realm. (WAIATA CONTINUES) 'I think she looks amazing, just quietly.' 'But, you know, they have a saying in Te Reo Maori, 'Kaore te kumara e korero mo tona ake reka,' 'The kumara never speaks of it's own sweetness.' But I think she looks lovely. No one mentions the lipstick or the lip gloss. It's so natural. She's someone that we'll definitely hold in our hearts forever. We will miss our Auntie Kataraina. # Amen. # (HAMMERING) Francis has just bought this van. Well... I just hope he doesn't signwrite this vehicle. How's the van coming along? (SIGHS DEEPLY) Good. Yeah, it's all right. (SIGHS) I know I bought the van to use it for you to put caskets in and transport them, and I apologise that the back door doesn't open. I'll get it open. Aww, you're amazing. Do you like it? Do you like this van? Mm. I need you to help me justify this investment. It's $1300 that we paid for it. It was $2500 and we were able to barter and negotiate and bring it down. And $1300, man, it's a steal. In his mind, he goes, 'Oh, nah, it's only, like, a grand, babe. No problem.' 'If it breaks down next week, at least we only spent a grand.' This is his view on` This is how he's talking to me. In my head ` a grand splashed in one week ` 'oh, forget it.' I find it neat. He likes it. The problem is I bought it knowing that he couldn't drive a manual, and it is a manual. But we'll teach him how to drive. Today we're on our way to the coroner's mortuary in Auckland City to uplift a young girl who has been shot. (CELL PHONE DIALS) 'Coronial services.' Kia ora, Rhonda. Rhonda, just ringing to let you know that we have been given authorisation from the coroner to go and uplift Chozyn. So I'm on my way there now to uplift her, and we're going to take her to be embalmed. Cases like homicides, such as the case we have now, are always filled with raw emotion, grief. And not comparing to other funerals, but just because of circumstances. (SPARSE PIANO NOTES) And you want Chozyn to come home on the stretcher, and then we're placing her on to the mattress at home? 'Yes, that's what Jason would like.' 'He would like for` She's the mother of two young babies.' Aw. 'He would like her babies to lie with her tonight.' Aw, beautiful. We don't normally do this. But the fact that they want to do this, and the reasons why, makes it so beautiful. (ETHEREAL MUSIC) (SIGHS) Sorry it took a little while, the` Traffic? traffic this time of the afternoon. It's OK. I'll just spin around. Ae. This is a young lady, dear, who was shot tragically last night. Aw. Yeah. And so, she's going to` If you can prepare her, Yep. I'm thinking` What's today? If you can prepare her to last` or to organise her funeral so that her body will last up until Saturday? Saturday? What's today? Maybe at the latest. Tuesday. Tuesday. I'm so glad Astriss is embalming. Female embalmers are awesome. Not saying anything about the male embalmers. It's just that, the attention to detail, the delicate way in which they look after and take care of our loved ones, it's just beautiful. She has a gunshot wound. Where? To her` Just over on this side here. Uh-huh. So, it's pretty big. So I'll get you to take a look at it. But, yeah, it's very sad, so... Yeah. It's horrible. Yeah. OK. Well, do you wanna write her up? And I'll get ready. OK. OK. No worries. When I'm working on someone my age it is sad, because they are young. It's a lot easier to deal with older people because they've lived a life, unlike the younger people. They just haven't had that opportunity. And I'll close it when you go in, dear. I've got a clean sheet here, eh? And just put it back on that pillow she's on. Thank you. All right, I'll wait for your call. OK, see you! Thank you. I suppose, at the end of the day, I just feel grateful. Yeah, I'm just so grateful I'm alive. I do this work, I see bodies that have been through the coroner for a post-mortem examination, an autopsy. I see embalming. I see some of the sicknesses that our people have been` go through. That's why I always feel a sense of gratefulness, like, 'Man. I'm here today. Here I am now. 'And there are some children without a mother, as of yesterday. 'And there's a father without a daughter, and...' (GENTLE MUSIC) When I first came home, I got out of the car and listened to the noise of the trees of the branches, of the leaves and of the birds, and at least two or three different types of birds sang. And that's not poetic; that was just factual. And I said to my wife, 'Wow. I haven't heard that for a while.' (GENTLE MUSIC) To book a free hearing check, visit... 1 Got a key? Yep. Today I'm teaching Felike to drive the van. Hang on, I just gotta watch out for my hair cos this van is so bloody low. The van for Felike, I just think it's another disaster. I just think it's gonna cause more money and more grief. And I would never, ever picture him in that van, and so I don't know why he bought it. Do the seatbelts even work? OK, I'm gonna have to get out to have a look. I already know what sorta driver he is on an automatic. You know, seat laid back, sounds pumping, sort of thing. You know, and I'm just worried that his attention` especially, you know, having to change gears. I'm worried it could be a problem. Chuck it into first. You see there's the pattern there, eh? First, second, third, fourth, fifth. Just like an aut` Yep. Up that way, hold your foot on the clutch, let it off slowly, and you accelerate. Timing. Yep, that's beautiful. Whoa, whoa, watch it. Yep, watch out for the cars. Good. Yep. (VAN CREAKS AND SPLUTTERS) (CREAKING) So, in this short time, you've learnt to drive the manual. Yep. Very, very good. Go. Yep, yep, yep. (VAN CREAKS) Whoa, yep. Yeah, see? You did it. Just a little bit more power. I hope it gets another warrant. I think it will. Morena, whanau. I won't be too long. So, today Stan and I are going back over to the house of the young lady that was shot. And we are going to uplift her from the mattress she laid on for the night, and place her into the beautiful carved Maori casket that her father has selected be her last bed. Isn't it a beautiful bed, eh? Isn't it lovely. We don't normally casketise ` or place the body into the casket ` outside of the funeral home. So this` We're going to an unknown, you know, area of our comfort, or work. So I've just gotta... check to make sure... that it sits properly. In the funeral home, I asked all the family to leave the room while we place the body into the casket. Just because there are things that you might need to move ` you know, someone's head. Or place a bit of pressure on the head so that you can have the body positioned beautifully. I don't think I want them to be there during that time. I don't have that luxury today at the house. I have to do it in front of them and hope and pray that I can be as gentle as possible. On three, everyone all right? Now her head will look a little bit like it's moving, but that's OK. One, two, three, up we go. Now move forward together. Haere mai, keep going. And down gently. Down we go. That's beautiful. So now we're gonna straighten everything up. (GENTLE MUSIC) Kei konei? Yes, thank you, just right here. So, I need to straighten her hair. We straightened it last night at the funeral home. But due to everyone's love and aroha for the young lady, touching, kissing, crying, it has moved a little bit out of place. So we're just gonna touch it her up. Just the main parts we're gonna take care of, cos we're gonna tuck it under. Cos she had it ` She would've loved you straightening her hair like that. Aw. She might not love me ` she's gonna say, 'You're not straightening the back!' While applying the makeup and some foundations, the lip gloss, on the young lady's face. I'm focused on her, right? In the back, you know, of my ears, I can hear some tangi happening around me... I just` It's gotta be. I let it be, and I don't get caught up in it because it may hinder my focus. Yeah? So I need to focus on what I'm doing. And the circumstance, yes, it's hideous, it's terrible. But there is a situation put before us right now, and I, and we, have to deal with it. Just that bottle of perfume there. Thank you. When I stand back and take a look at the young lady in her casket at the end, I'm pleased with the outcome. One, two, three. Up we go. Nice and slow. Haere mai, dear. Now that she's in her casket, all her friends and extended whanau can come through and pay their respects. I hope the family are happy today with how she looks. I have heard comments saying that she does look more peaceful today. Oh, look, I can't even tell you what the rego is. It's just` That's how long we've had it. I mean, (SCOFFS) it's only been not even a week ` two weeks, I'd say. It's a van. Yeah, it's a van. The van is overheating. Francis, the van, it looks like it's blowing a head casket. What happened is, the van, it's had an issue with the overheating before you buy it, maybe. How much the cost to get it fixed? It's not worth it, to be honest, to spend money on it. My wife told me not to buy it. Yeah. So I'm trying to get it fixed so that I can show that it was a good purchase. OK. But not a` But you're wasting your money on it. Oh, I just feel drama. I mean, like, my wife's gonna come and say, 'I told you.' You know what I mean. Those very words that come to mind every time he does this is 'I told you so'. Oh, there she goes! Just go. Yep. I'm just making sure it's going. That was a purchase gone wrong. In most cases, we normally lower bodies. In this case, the van was uplifted. (LAUGHS) It was great. Are you all good, my darling? Yeah. I just need it to be gone so we can move forward. Is this a good lesson for you? Yeah. But I didn't come here to be taught a lesson; I already know that I was bad. I will take this growling and everything that comes with it because she's right. Yep. You pay peanuts, you get a monkey. Is that true? Yeah. Copyright Able 2018