# Baby, it's a celebration, and we ride with the top down, beat loud... # HIP HOP MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING Ow! Jesus, you nearly cracked my head on the coffee table. It's 8.45! Yeah, it's school holidays. Yeah, well, this isn't in a holiday resort, and at 8 o'clock, I want my lounge back. And I'll tell you something else. You're gonna start paying me that rent we discussed. Polly, I'm a refugee, OK? My house exploded. That was six weeks ago. I've given you plenty of time to adjust. Well, it's not like I haven't been trying, OK? I'm a 17-year-old reformed career criminal with no transferable skills. And I'm brown. I mean, cut me some slack. What happened to the kid who said he wanted to change, become more like our father? When he was your age, he didn't use cultural disadvantage as an excuse to sit on his arse; he got out there and he knocked on doors. And that's exactly what you're gonna do, because if you don't have a job by the end of this week, you can go live with Desiree. I can't live in Rotorua. That place smells like farts. Yeah, well, thanks to you, so does my lounge. Terry, I mean it. It's time you understood the value of a dollar. 'TERRY TEO' THEME # Yeah, yeah, yeah. # You know I'm super strong, mind like a firearm. # Somebody told me I was hot right now like Tiger Balm. # Somebody said 'T, you a ranger. # 'You are stranger than an attraction to danger.' # Hi. How are you doing today? Hello. Good morning. Morning. Hi. My name's Terry. I'm just going around the neighbourhood today looking for work, because... because I'm a total loser and my sister is physically stronger than I am. BELL RINGS, BIRDS TWITTER Uh, hey, man. Um, my name's Terry. Uh,... I know this is gonna sound kinda weird, but I'm just looking for some part-time work, and, uh, just wondering if you had any odd jobs or anything around the house that needed doing. Odd jobs is it? Yeah, if you have anything. Wait here a second. POP MUSIC PLAYS IN BACKGROUND CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS What was that for? Photographic evidence. If you've got a mate sitting over the back fence ready to rob the place the second I go out, this is going straight to the cops. Look, man, I'm just trying to look for some part-time work. See that? That means this neighbourhood looks out for each other, OK? So you can take this bollocks somewhere else, cos it's not gonna wash round here, ya little derelict. Yeah, walk away. I didn't come down in the last shower! And you can tell your little homies as well. A month ago, I would've ripped that guy off out of sheer principle, but that was the old me. This one's turned over a new leaf ` or at least he's trying to. You see, my dad was a cop. He spent his whole life fighting bad guys, and I spent my whole life trying to be one. I never really saw things his way until he was 6ft underground. Dad didn't become a detective so he could wear a badge or push people around. He did it because he thought he could make a difference. Now, I'm no Boy Scout, but regardless of what my sister thinks, I have changed, and it seems like all I ever do these days is sort out other people's problems. And it's not like I'm complaining; philanthropy's great. It's just, when you're 17, there's very few ways to monetise it. ALTERNATIVE MUSIC MYSTERIOUS MUSIC BIRDS TWITTER MYSTERIOUS MUSIC CONTINUES Hi. I'm just going round the neighbourhood today half-heartedly asking people if they need any work done and if they'd be interested in hiring a poor Polynesian kid with no practical skills or prior work history. Can you mix a drink? Come again? Do you know how to mix a drink? Jack Rose, Sazerac, whiskey sour? Whiskey sour ` that's lemon juice, bourbon, egg white, sugar syrup and half a Berocca. Half a Berocca? That's actually a secret family recipe. I shouldn't be giving away that information for free. Mmm! I must say, Terence, you've arrived at rather an opportune time. A house of this size can be a struggle, especially for a widow. > Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Well, I won't bore you with the details of Barney's demise, but I could certainly do with a man around the house now that he's out of the picture. > What did you have in mind? Oh, nothing too onerous. I just need some help getting my affairs in order, making the place look nice. But really, it's more about having someone to talk to ` you know, some companionship. Oh, hey, to new friends. GLASSES CLINK And I might need your help with some general ground maintenance. Ground maintenance? Yes. I'm ashamed to say I've let the garden get away a bit. Uh, I might need to phone a friend. (PANTS) Far out. This saw's as sharp as an old lady's tit. Just put some muscle into it. I'm pulling as hard as I can! If I pull any harder, I'm gonna push one out. He's right, Terry. This is a professional landscaping job. Listen to your boy, T, or at least get us some proper tools. PHONE RINGS (SIGHS) Hello? I hope you've packed your bags, cos I'm putting you on a bus tonight. You can save the lecture. I've already found a job. Really? Where? Well, I went doorknocking like you said, and Mrs Butterworth was kind enough to take me up on the offer. Mrs Butterworth? You mean the Black Widow? What'd you call her? Terry, that woman's a class-A sociopath. Two of her husbands turned up dead; the last one didn't even turn up at all. She's been charged with murder. What?! Do you watch the news? 'Course I don't watch the news. I'm 17! Why the hell are you telling me this now? You were the one who told me to go doorknocking! Yeah, cos I didn't think you'd be stupid enough to knock on that door. It's like something out of a B-grade horror movie. Yeah, well, she's paying me 300 bucks a day to spruce it up. 300 bucks?! Polly, we're ready for you on set now, please. (SIGHS) Look, I have to go. Just, if something doesn't feel right, quit, OK? Don't worry about the rent. And don't eat anything if she offers it to you. What's wrong? We have to go ` now. Why? Mrs Butterworth is facing murder charges. What, that old lady upstairs? Just leave everything where it is and let's go. But what will we say? We're not gonna say anything. We're just gonna sneak out. I think she'll notice if we all leave at the same time. So we'll stagger it out. Uh, I-I'll go first, then you guys wait another five minutes and you can follow me. No, no, no. You're not leaving us here with some senile psycho. You got us into this mess. I say we go first. This is my plan, Iona. When you come up with a plan, you can go first. I thought perhaps you'd worked up an appetite. There's asparagus rolls, meatballs and toast Skagen. Skagen? Salmon, eggs and cream. It's Swedish. My first husband was a Swede. I'm afraid the only thing he left me with was a taste for fermented fish. What happened to him? Caught his arm in a mince grinder. Died from shock before the worst of it, thank God, but it was very unfortunate. Look, thing is, Mrs Butterworth, this garden's turning out to be a lot more work than I thought it would be. Oh, well, I don't mind paying extra. Oh, it's not that. It's just school holidays are nearly over and... DOOR SQUEAKS Is there someone else here? Oh yes, my daughter, Penelope. She's on holidays as well. Penelope? DREAMY MUSIC Oh, (CHUCKLES) not terribly social, I'm afraid. She takes after her father. The Swede? No, my second husband, Lindsay. Sorry, you were saying about the garden, mm? Oh, I was just gonna say, um, if it's OK with you, I'm happy to work late, get a good head start on it. So very kind. Well, I shan't keep you. Let me know if you need anything. Hey, uh, thanks for the Skagen. Look, I just think everyone has the right to a fair trial. I can't believe you'd sell us out for a girl. When have you ever seen a girl like that, even when using your dad's credit card? What happens if she's in on it? What happens if they're some sick mother-daughter murder tag team? SAXOPHONE PLAYS You can't play a sax like that and be capable of violence. Who? Shut up, Caleb. (PLAYS SAXOPHONE) KEYBOARD MUSIC PLAYS CRACK! Do you have any idea how much that stool is worth? Actually, I do. Uh, Persian, mid-century. Uh, paint job's recent, though. That'll be why I didn't notice the borer holes. Still, I could probably get you a couple hundred bucks for it. I just want to say hi. I'm Terry. I'm gonna be helping your mum around the house. So if there's anything you need ` a light snack, uh, musical accompaniment... SNAP! Argh! Look, I don't know what arrangement you have with my mother, but let me assure you she's in no position to be hiring house servants. Any money she had she's already squandered on alcohol, and the rest's tied up in legal fees. You know she's facing a murder charge? CLICK! Sorry. Sorry. I was just admiring your necklace. Why? Think you could get a good price for it? CLATTERING SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC Mum! Oh my God! Forget about the window. Look! It's gone! SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC CONTINUES # "Whole World" by Gabe Simon FATHER: 'When she saw her favorite animals' '- all in real life-' 'her face just lit up.' 'And when I saw that? Well, mine did too.' NARRATOR: 'When you book a flight with Expedia,' 'and add a hotel or activity,' 'you can save.' 'Everything you need to go.' 'EXPEDIA.' 1 I don't understand why she's stressing over some coin. You think she'd be more worried about that tree sticking through the window. Well, it wasn't just any coin. You boys ever heard of a Saint-Gaudens double eagle? They had a Saint-Gaudens? What's that? It's one of the most expensive coins in the world. There's only a handful in circulation. I don't get it. If she had a $7 million coin, why would her daughter say she was broke? Because she is. The coin was bestowed to her daughter, to be received on her 21st birthday, as per the instructions in her father's will. Is that the one Mrs Butterworth's accused of murdering? Nah. The previous one, uh, Lindsay Butterworth. You know, the Butterfeet guy? The` He made cream for athlete's foot. Huh? SINGS: 'There ain't no scent that's quite as sweet as Butterfeet. Butterfeet!' Mmm. Butterfeet. You told her I had nothing to do with it, right? I said it was unlikely. Unlikely? Hey, it's not like you are inexperienced in this sort of thing, all right? But after close examination of the display case, we think it was broken a few days ago, and neither Mrs Butterworth or her daughter had been in there, so it's possible. Any signs of forced entry? None that we're aware of. You think this has anything to do with her husband's murder? Jesus, Terry, I wouldn't know, OK? It's not my case. I'm not even supposed to be working on this. We're only here to keep you out of trouble. I wanna talk to her. Knock yourself out. He's a random in our house. Take five minutes to know someone, to meet them, to tal... Penelope has something she'd like to say to you. Sorry for calling you a thief. It's all right. I am a thief, but that's exactly why I'm the best person to help you get it back. LIGHT-HEARTED MUSIC That's one, two, three, four and another 50. You done already? Look, Mavis, it's a nice piece, but it's got a wonky arm and there's paint missing off her shoe. You know, I'm not gonna make a bob if I go any higher. I can't part with it for less than six. Take the 450. No. I'm sorry. I-I just can't do it. Hey. Cool statue. Well, thank you very much. Yeah, my uncle's got one just like it. On second thoughts, I've, uh` I've got a bus to catch. Let's wrap this up. Always a pleasure, Mavis. Guess that means we're even. Even? I just saved you 300 bucks. Oh, do me a favour, Terry. Next time you bring in oil lamps from Egypt, do a spot check for fire ants. Haven't you heard of Mortein? Anyway, it's the price you pay when you bypass customs. So, what precious cargo have you got for me this time? Oh, actually, I just need some information. You haven't by any chance had a Saint-Gaudens come in in the last couple of days? That's a rare coin. Bit rich for my blood. Maybe you've arranged a trade on someone's behalf? You've been known to do that from time to time. Yeah. No, no, no, I haven't, I'm afraid. Sorry. There was a guy who came in with what he thought was a Saint-Gaudens. For real? Yeah. Came in expecting to walk out a millionaire. I had to send him away with a subway stamp. Look. It's here, actually. Little commemorative job. You can buy them online for next to nothing. Ever seen the guy before? Nah, never. Young guy, big build, maybe Russian, Eastern European. You don't have security cameras? (SCOFFS) Best not to keep recorded proof of what happens in here, Terry. The old fisheye does the trick. INTRIGUING MUSIC Careful with that. SMASH! It's just funny, cos back at your house, you were giving off this vibe like you didn't even like me, and now you're following me round like you've got a little crush on me. This might be a game to you, but that coin was my entire future. You think I'm gonna sit back and watch some bumbling third-rate ghetto detective ruin the only chance I have of getting it back? You know what, Penny? You're a pretty girl, you know your way around a bebop scale, but if you don't mind me saying so, you're a lousy judge of character. My name is Penelope. Look, just cos I don't have a crew cut and a debate-team badge doesn't mean I don't know stuff. And what stuff would that be? Well, for starters, I know that whoever stole the coin knew exactly where to look for it. I know that it can't just be coincidence that it happens the same month your mum gets charged with murder. I also know that she's facing a 12-year stretch if she can't prove she's innocent. So without any money of your own to fall back on, you'll be playing that sax outside the Four Square for the next 20 years. Now, you can either walk with me or two blocks behind, but I'm not gonna stand around all day and argue about it. It's unproductive. Besides, I need to get to your stepfather's office before it closes. Why are you going to my stepfather's office? FUNKY MUSIC Family law? You're not gonna get in without a key code. Oh, is that a fact? BUZZ! Yes? Uh, gidday. It's Mike. Who? Sorry, wrong number. BUZZ! So, why do the police think your mum was involved in his disappearance? Shortly before he died, he placed all of his assets under my mother's name. Why? I have no idea ` neither does Mum ` but they put that together with a couple of angry voicemail messages and the fact that she already had two dead husbands and decided it was enough to prosecute. Well, you did say she was bad with money. Look, my mother's lack of character notwithstanding, they found his car at the bottom of Lake Taupo. She hasn't left the house in six years. If she wanted to kill him, she would've laced his tooth floss with strychnine. That's pretty specific. Well, she was a pharmacologist. That's how she met my dad. What about your stepfather? How'd they meet? He handled my dad's estate, but I've known him since I was a kid. Did he have any enemies? A couple of years ago he started dabbling in criminal cases. He said the money was good and it got him out of old people's homes, but some of the clients were seriously deranged. He seemed like he was under a lot of stress. I think he was worried something was gonna happen to him. John speaking. Uh, gidday, John. It's Mike. Uh, how ya going, mate? Are you winnin'? Uh,... yeah, no, everything's pretty good. Oh, nice one, chief. Hey, I'm double-parked outside, but I got that 50 bucks I owe you. Wanna buzz me up? Uh, OK. Yeah, yeah, sure, hold on. BUZZ! FUNKY MUSIC CONTINUES I need you to go through all his cases and see if anyone stands out. We're looking for someone who got screwed over and had the resources to do something about it. And while I'm doing that, what are you gonna be doing that's so important? I'm making coffee. You want some? You're seriously gonna drink milk that's been sitting in a dead guy's fridge for two months? Yeah, it's UHT. (SNIFFS) FUNKY MUSIC CONTINUES I just wish I knew how to read a court document. Do you have any idea what this stuff means? I don't understand anything unless it's in a speech bubble. This is the first time I've been in this office. The whole time he was alive, I never came to visit him at work. Were you guys close? It was easier when he was just Uncle Barney. It got a little weird when he moved in, but he did try. I think I could've tried a little harder. What about you? Don't tell me I'm the only one with Daddy issues. Actually, my father passed away too ` just the one time ` but it kind of turned everything upside down for a little while. And my mother's an alcoholic with a criminal record, so I guess we're practically made for each other. BOTH CHUCKLE, HORNS HONK DISTANTLY METAL CLANKS MYSTERIOUS MUSIC Looks like Barney was behind on his taxes. By how much? $2,043,573.28. MYSTERIOUS MUSIC CONTINUES 1 So that explains it, then, right? Why he would commit suicide? I guess. What? No, it's great for your mum. It's just I really thought this would lead back to the coin. Now we have to start from square one. Terry, I have to tell you something. I should've told you this sooner. I just... I didn't know if I could trust you. OK. The thing about the coin is I` Hey! (SCREAMS) What are you doing!? SLAVIC ACCENT: What does it look like? We're taking out the trash. (GRUNTS) ENERGETIC MUSIC Oi! TYRES SQUEAL ENGINE STOPS, HANDBRAKE CREAKS INTRIGUING MUSIC OK, tough guy, what now? INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES I'm gonna count to 10, and if that girl isn't out of the van, I'm gonna start breaking bones. One,... two... GRUNTING (YELLS) (CHUCKLES, SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE) MEN LAUGH I'd save my breath if I were you. And why's that? You'll find out soon enough. (SCOFFS, SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE) (PANTS) < ENGINE STARTS < ENGINE HUMS (CONTINUES PANTING) INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES We managed to get a print off the inhaler. Now we just have to wait for the results to come back. What do you mean we have to wait? I mean, can't we speed this up? Penny's life is in danger. Terry, this isn't a TV show, all right? Fingerprint analysis is a very complicated process. You don't just click a button. Someone has to manually search through a list of possible matches, and they've only got half a thumbprint to work with. Krisjian Murkovich. What? I just looked through the list. He was the closest match. Where did you get the list from? AFIS, the automated fingerprint identification` I know what it stands for. What are you doing on my computer? Can you look up his file, Caleb? Don't look up his file. McMurray, would you forget about protocol and concentrate on finding out who this guy is? We know who Krisjian Murkovich is. Is this him? Dammit, Caleb! What? I just googled him. MAN RAPS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE (RAPS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) What language is that? Serbian. Why would a Serbian rapper kidnap Penelope? He's not after her. He's after the coin. What are you talking about? The coin's already been stolen. The coin they stole was a fake. A guy matching Krisjian's description tried to fence it a couple of days ago. I think Penelope knew about it. At least, that's what I think she was trying to tell me before she was kidnapped. Wait, so how do you even know this guy? Well, he's a low-level stooge, but his uncle Lazlo's a big hitter in the Serbian Mafia. We've been trying to implicate him in over a dozen forgery and extortion cases ever since they came into the country. How did a guy like that even get in the country? I guess he's got a good lawyer. Barney Featherstone. Huh? Barney Featherstone. That's Lazlo Murkovich's lawyer. Caleb, I'm gonna tell you this one more time. No, wait. That's Penelope's stepfather. You said Lazlo was involved in forgery. W-What kind of forgery? (TYPES) Identity forgery. What does that mean? It means Mrs Butterworth didn't kill her husband,... cos her husband isn't dead. MYSTERIOUS MUSIC This has Barney written all over it. They're not gonna let you out of this tin box until they get the coin. We don't know if it's Barney or not, but as far as I'm concerned, the only thing you've managed to do is get a young girl kidnapped. What is this? Good cop, kindergarten cop? I want to make sure he gets what's coming to him. I need you to act as a buyer to verify another fake double eagle. OK, here we go. Terry! You trust me, right? Not really. Hello, pumpkin. SERBIAN RAP MUSIC PLAYS (RAPS IN SERBIAN) (CONTINUES RAPPING IN SERBIAN) Captions by Sarah Maiava. Edited by Tracey Dawson. www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Copyright Able 2018