# Left my home town of Huntly, # headin' out in the cold. From the sunny north to the wild south, NZ is overflowing with breathtaking backdrops, heavenly harvests and a whole lot of fabulous foodies. So jump on board with us as we hang out with the locals, wrangle some wildlife and feast our way around this magnificent country. Come on, Toppy. We got people to meet and food to eat. Yee-hah! # Nga iwi e. # I'm just a local farmhand... # It's the food of the future. This week we meet the wild and wacky family leading the gastronomic bug movement in NZ. Then we get up close and cuddly with the exotic ostrich. These elegant birds lay the largest egg in the world and make a damn fine burger. But first up, we meet the magnificent water buffalo. These beautiful beasts roam the swamps of exotic lands far away, but thanks to Annie Wills and Phil Armstrong, you can now find them roaming on farmlands just out of Matakana. Buffalo ooze with personality, and so do this fabulous family. They're the perfect farming match. OK, whose crazy idea was it to bring the water buffalo in? Yeah, that would be mine. (LAUGHS) You. Yeah, yeah, I mean, everyone did have the opportunity to say no. ALL CHUCKLE He's not that OK about it. ALL LAUGH Every day there's work to be done on the farm. 365 days for Phil ` milking. After building. After building. Building. (LAUGHS) So, I work as a builder during the day, knock off about 3 o'clock, come here and milk. Behind every great` I wouldn't say 'great man'. Behind` No, I was talking about you. ALL LAUGH Oh yeah. Behind every great woman` Yes, there's a man working in town. ALL LAUGH Where do these buffalo come from? We imported 17 in-calf heifers and two bulls from Australia, and so their genetics are Australian, Indian and Italian. < They're pretty exotic. They're definitely exotic. Are they easy to farm? They're very easy to farm. The hardest thing is to keep them in paddocks if you don't have electric. They've gone through a few fences. Scratch, scratch, scratch and crack. 'Oh, we'll go on to the next one.' Scratch, scratch, crack. (LAUGHS) They've got a lot of personality. Well, you've got a bit of paradise going here, haven't you? What's your most important job? So, I make the cheese ` Wow. with Mum. How exciting. The two of us. This new word out there ` artisan cheeses. Artisan cheeses. Do you like that word? I like it a lot. < Yeah, it sort of suits you too, doesn't it? It does, and it means that if the cheese goes slightly wrong, it's artisan. That's right. (LAUGHS) Yeah, just happened to be that batch. That's right. And we're heading down to move some buffalo. What's happening with that? I've got a very new calf and, um, mother that have to be put up with the main herd. And, now, you can see that that mother is really protective of that calf. Oh, it's super protective. Yeah. Super. They are really good mothers, um, and as a herd in general, they're really good aunties. Is Annie as protective as the water buffalo? Oh, easily. (LAUGHS) Easily. You said before there's not a lot of water around here. No, th-there's quite a bit of water in the troughs. They'll climb in the trough and then use their heads to bail water out. (LAUGHS) When they've got a bit of a puddle, they'll do a bit of a dance, get upside down. Everyone will have a turn at diving in. They'll all be standing around, going, 'Wasn't me.' (LAUGHS) 'What?' Old Annie, she had a crazy idea about water buffalo, eh? Uh, one of her many crazy ideas. She's had more crazy ideas than this? Oh yes. Some of it's not looking so pretty. Well, that's a bit of work of art. What's that? Oh, that's our gates. They're sort of` Th-They're not very well hung, are they? (LAUGHS) This is my house ` my imaginary house. Well, I love what you've done with it. I know. It's beautiful, isn't it? It's very open-plan. BOTH LAUGH You're waiting for Phil? Well, yeah, this is the house that Phil built. OK. Yep. Well, I-I-I hate to tell you this ` and, well, of course, NZ knows it ` the plumber never finishes their bathroom, and the builder never finishes the house and in this case never starts it. BOTH LAUGH TRANQUIL MUSIC Here we go. Buffalo in a paddock. Mama and baby are in the herd. Job done. Well, it went pretty good, actually. Th-The calf's only a day old, but it sorta motored up the hill there, and Mama turned a couple of times. I was thinking I was gonna have to jump the barbed fence a couple of times, but she was just being protective, but she's in the herd now, and all those aunties are checking her out, aren't they? Yeah, making sure that they know who it is, and` Now` Now, look. They're checking us out. Now they're checking` Yeah, they're having a moment, looking at us. Yeah. H-Heads up, looking down their noses at us, it's a very` uh, a very buffalo stance. Yeah. You were in Africa, were you? I was. I was in Botswana for a while, and, um, travelled around. Yeah. And then I came back and met Phil, and when we` Phil stopped fishing, we decided maybe we could all move back to Africa` The whole` The whole damn family? The whole family. They're up for the adventure. It was a bit more of an adventure than we thought. Are you`? Have you come back to settle down, or are you ready for more adventures? Yeah, I don't think we're quite finished yet. Adventure has just begun in some ways. Yes, and it's good` It's healthy for a family to have a little bit of adventure together. That one there. That little black one there. Yes. What's her name? Uh, Michelle, the mother. Um, it might be Lisa. Who comes up with these names ` Michelle, Lisa? Oh, they are all people that we know. There they are ` the most exotic cow in NZ called Michelle and Lisa. (LAUGHS) Madison, Delilah, Luna, Sweet Pea. Sweet Pea? Sweet Pea. It's also Annie's nickname. Annie's nickname? What sort of woman is Annie? No, words don't describe Annie. (LAUGHS) And where did you meet Phil? Uh, I met him in Tauranga. We, um` I'd just gotten back` That doesn't sound very exotic. No, it doesn't, does it? I'd just gotten back from Tanzania with a friend, and she said, 'Let's go on a road trip.' Phil wasn't gonna be there. He was supposed to be at sea, and, uh, we turned up, and Phil was there. I think it was a bit of a set-up, yeah. Your mates were pushing you in the right direction, were they? Yeah, it was more than a push. They drove off and left me there. You went from Tanzania to Tauranga... Yes. ...and found your husband? I know. (LAUGHS) Who knew? I think they're gonna like this. Oh, bubbie. Wow, that` that` that horn right there is as` about as long as my arm. Yeah, it's unreal. He has a big hoop like that. Whoo-hoo. Here you go. Here's a little more. (SMOOCHES, LAUGHS) What a beautiful thing. Now I've got slobber all over me. OK, I'm loving the cheese, and a secret package there. Very excited about that one. Extra special. OK, what's this one here? I'm gonna have a go at it. That's Marin Blue. Marin Blue? Named after our oldest child, Marin. Wow. (LAUGHS) Wow, that's making me sit up. Yeah, it might not look blue, but it'll taste blue. This is called St Benedict the Black. It's got French ash around the outside. French ash? Yeah. > Now, that's the kind of cheese you could just keep eating all night. And I hope you do. That one actually won gold last year's Cheese Awards. You know, I know you start off with a raw product, and Phil's making sure that, you know, that` ..that it's perfect. Y-You have to do this hard work of making all these different cheeses, and in your case changing the way we farm and what we farm. Well, Annie, I think you're an absolute genius. And I can see your dad cooking something on the barbie. Mmm, might be a nice bit of eye fillet. Water-buffalo steak, is it? All the way. Let's go. Wine and steak ` I like it. (LAUGHS) Oh, look at that. Beautiful ` nice and pink. Perfect. That's melting in my mouth. Yeah? Yeah, it's really good. To Whangaripo Buffalo. Thank you so much for bringing those beautiful animals to NZ, just making us m` a more exotic place, and we've had a fabulous day here. Cheers, everybody. ALL: Cheers. Lynda's on dishes. (LAUGHS) ALL LAUGH . Today we're making a treat that's out of this world. The most erotic dessert known to man. Exotic, Mavis. It's a swirling mass of frozen delight. And a cascading custard waterfall. The magical, mystical flame rising like the phoenix out of the ashes. Ice cream, custard and strawberries, and there it is ` Aladdin's lamp. It's not looking very erotic now, is it, Mavis? JAW-HARP MUSIC Back in the days of old, Hokitika was the gold-rush capital of NZ. These days people are more likely to be seen rushing to the annual Wildfoods Festival, and the star attraction ` the Crouching Grasshopper stall. Fiona Anderson is passionate about feeding people exotic bugs and serves around 1000 of the critters each year. Her husband, Liam, hates bugs. His Hungarian langos is an exotic treat of the actually delicious kind. It's the day before the Wildfood Festival, and the competition is hotting up. Today we're having an exotic cook-off. One is safe, and one is dangerous. Hey, Toppy-ola, toss you for it. OK. What are you going? Heads. OK. Heads it is. You've got the dangerous one. See you later. Hey, that was tails! What a chicken! Grasshopper! Well, we're in a gorgeous place here. Are you true-blue West Coasters? From Auckland, actually. ALL LAUGH Auckland. Yeah, we have to keep that quiet ` yep, very quiet. There's a freedom here that you just don't get living in the big city. The kids can just run wild down the beach. Yeah, yeah. I'm keen to have a go at a grasshopper. < Yeah. Oh, yeah? What do they taste like? I actually haven't eaten one before. ALL LAUGH OK, so, today, I think you should try your product for the first time. Come on, shake on it. Do I have to? BOTH: Yeah. Oh! You gotta know your product. Yeah, all right. ALL LAUGH The exotic cook-off begins. Bugs versus bread. (LAUGHS) Can we open the lid? Yeah. Carefully. Carefully. Will they come out? Yes, probably. Could do. Might do. BOTH CHUCKLE Are they gonna`? Do they bite? Well, they're quite sticky, but they don't bite normally, that I've` that I've found. Let me have a look. BANJO MUSIC Oh my God. Phew, that is a big box of grasshoppers in there, and they're huge. It's a real mouthful in there. I-Is there any special way to pick them up? Uh, you just gotta be... Gentle? ...quite gentle. Like, don't` don't grab them tightly, cos` (SHRIEKS, STAMMERS, LAUGHS) OK. (LAUGHS) That one, sort of, jumped right on me and stuck on to me. Oh, there we` there's one right there. They're quite big, eh? Yeah, they are quite big, yeah. Hi. And when you cook them, they swell up even more. Think they` S-She's waving her tentacle at you. Yeah, she's quite excited about me. It's not often that you get` (LAUGHS) get your lunch crawling all over you, is it? I feel really bug-eyed. (LAUGHS) How come you brought Hungarian langos to NZ? Oh, it was actually my sister who lived in Prague for five years. Oh, OK. And, um, it's a street food over there. She gave you the recipe, did she? Gave me the recipe. So since then, there's no looking back. And, so you cook bread, and Fiona is the adventurous one. Is this right? Yep, she spends a lot of time researching insects and who eats them around the world and what you can do with them, which kinda terrifies me. Do you think she's mad? Totally mad. Yeah. (LAUGHS) LAUGHS: He started moving around now` Whoa! We have to corral this fella. Whoa! Oh no. Come on, buddy. Come on. We got another one. Oh, come on, buddy. The first one is corralled. (LAUGHS) How's that? It's got to be a bit thinner than that, has it? Yep, as thin as possible, and you can wiggle and shake it. Mine's got a bit of a hole in it. Can you see me? Lovely. Carefully lay it in. Well, do you think you're gonna sell more of this stuff than Fiona? Probably not tomorrow. Fiona's a big horde around her stall with lots of voyeurs. Do you think she's a bit of a show pony at the Wildfoods? Oh yes, she loves it, and she definitely hams it up. She's won best stall and best food probably six times. Wow. That's just crushed garlic. I'm gonna take this out into the big, wide world and see if they like my lovely langos that I've made. I'll bring the folks in. We'll make a million bucks. Come on, dinner's up! You haven't always been a grasshopper farmer, though, have you? No, not` (CHUCKLES) not always. I've actually only had one real job in my life, and that was working for DOC. We looked at` at um, the big, giant snails. Did you have to have some sort of degree for that? Um, oh, I've got two degrees ` Bachelor of Science... Yeah. ...and Master of Science. You're overqualified for this job. I'm totally overqualified. BOTH LAUGH Oh, I have finally met some real West Coast locals. We've got an exotic dog, though. Here, darling. What do you think of that? Huh, bloody shih-tzu. Can't get them to do anything. Would you ladies like to try some of my lovely bread from Hungary? Oh, we'd love to. Where are you girls from? Hokitika. You're a true Hokitika local? Yes. Hokitikaterian. (SNORTS) ALL LAUGH Tell the camera that. What's that? Hokitikaterian. Hokitikaterian. The people in Hokitika, they're incredible, and they'll eat anything you give them. Oh my God. I think I'm gonna have a go at a toe-biter. Are you? Uh, let's go. (LAUGHS) I'm going in. (CRUNCHES) Could be full of eggs. Oh! (CRUNCHES) God, I wouldn't eat that. Lots of dried innards. Oh, gross! OK. No, I'm not eating that. You'd have to be crazy. Isn't that amazing that Fiona has never ever tried`? (LAUGHS) No way! I don't eat the product. No way. (CRUNCHES) Fed all the locals out there from, uh` from Hokitika, and they loved it. Excellent. Some of those people had never had garlic before. All right, we'll do one with a fancy topping, shall we? We'll put a bit of the jalapeno harissa on the bottom and them some feta and tomatoes with herbs. OK, we've got a show-pony one here. Gonna take that out, and we're gonna wow the world with it. I'll find someone who's hungry. That is really crunchy, that one. You're dropping legs all over the floor. Just some bits that I don't really want to swallow. (COUGHS) That was a sharp bit. I'm gonna finish him off. You wouldn't believe what's just happened. I found a hungry Hungarian on the beach here at Hokitika. Is this a national food in your country? Yes, it would be definitely one of the favourite national foods. So let me have another bite. OK. (LAUGHS) You wouldn't believe it, buddy. I found a Hungarian. Wow. And he thought it was absolutely primo. OK, so you need to try one of these now. I do. I've been out there giving it all away to people. I'll have a go at it myself. Better than bugs, eh? Mmm. OK, they're going in. Wow. (LAUGHS) Oh, they're all puffing up. They do. Yeah, and they've gone` completely changed colour. They have. They've completely changed colour. And their wings have opened up. It looks like they're flying. Yeah. They've gone a beautiful golden brown. They have. Almost good enough to eat, eh? (LAUGHS) Do you think your stall is more popular than Liam's? Yeah, it's definitely more popular, yeah. But there seems to be a little bit of competition going on between you. It is serious ` dead serious. Can you just keep an eye on each other to see how big the lines are and that kind of stuff? Yeah, yeah, we do. Yeah, we've got a few spies that we send round. Yeah? Yep, but he's right over the other side of the festival next to the stallion semen shots. BOTH LAUGH So, what we've got here is we've got a red cabbage, a little bit of steamed rice, and there's some satay sauce there. OK, and we're gonna drizzle a little bit of that on our rice, and then` How hungry are you? Oh... OK, put one on, because it looks quite impressive. They're quite big, aren't they? Yeah, they're quite` Here we go. It's like a little hors d'oeuvre. It is. WESTERN MUSIC I'm going in for my first grasshopper. Not bad. There's only one thing more to do. Have your first bug, love. Oh my God. ALL LAUGH Mmm, is it worth it? How is it? Crunchy. (LAUGHS) Oh, we've had a perfect day, thank you, at Hokitika. We've had beach, bugs and beer. Here's to it. Cheers. Awesome, eh. Cheers, everyone. (LAUGHS) Yeehaw. What an amazing day. I loved the bugs. Yeah, they were pretty cool. Pudding? W-What are they? Huhu bugs dipped in chocolate. (LAUGHS) The whole world is gonna be eating bugs, Jools. 20 years' time, that's all we'll be eating. Everybody will be eating bugs. . With their long and powerful legs, it's not surprising that ostriches are the largest and fastest birds on Earth, and here on their Kowhai Grove farm in the Manawatu, Ian and Rosemary Blunden are leading NZ's ostrich-farming charge. These little guys are only three weeks old, but already they're huge but very very cuddly. They look like a jaguar. Just there. Their markings are incredible. They're almost as fast as a jaguar, aren't they, when they get going? Yeah, they can run up to 60km/h. Wouldn't want to be in front of a big one. ALL LAUGH What about you, Ian, have you ever been attacked? Yeah, once. A usually docile male came at me, and they usually give you a warning. They puff themselves up and stamp their feet. It's like a toddler having a tantrum. (LAUGHS) But I hit him with a stick, and he didn't back off. ALL LAUGH And once he kicked, I went down on the ground, and he left me alone. If you lay down on the ground, he can't kick you any more, is that right? I think so. (LAUGHS) You've gotta do things today on the farm with the ostriches? I'm gonna come with you Ian, and I know` No, they haven't been fed yet. Yeah, I know to look out for the warnings. If I see any... (IMITATES RUMBLING) like that, I'll be off. ALL LAUGH It's like an earthquake ` stop, drop and roll. ALL LAUGH That's right. ALL LAUGH What are you doing? I'm gonna` I'm gonna cook one. Sorry, darling. ALL LAUGH You didn't hear that. (CHIRPS) TRANQUIL MUSIC Ian's brought me down to the stud pens, and we're about to steal their eggs, and this contraption here is the egg collector. Have you patented that, Ian? No, no, I haven't gotten around to that yet. Yeah, looks a bit of a home-made jobbie. This one's been kicked a few times. BOTH LAUGH Is it`? Is it a hard process? No. Basically we just slip it through the fence, and that allows me to go around all the pens and collect the eggs without going in the paddock. Wow, that is an ostrich egg. Whoa, it's pretty weighty. They` The bigger eggs can be up to 24, 26 hens' eggs. Make a big omelette, that one. LAUGHS: It makes a big omelette. It's a man's omelette. Righty-ho, you hold that, and I'll have a go at getting an egg out. What do you reckon? You gotta be fairly skilful. Righty-ho. OK, I'm going in for my egg, but, um, you gotta hold your mouth the right way, apparently. So, over the top there, and round... OK. (GRUNTS) There! (CHUCKLES) She's not great. We got it! You got it. > We got it. Yeah, designed by (BLEEP) Incorporated. (LAUGHS) There it is. There's my first ostrich egg that I've stolen off Ma and Pa Ostrich over there. Righty-ho, I'm going in again. How many eggs do they lay? The better birds can lay 20, 30, 40 eggs a year. Do they just mate once a year, or...? No, they can mate every day. Every day?! Every day, yeah, for every egg. So the sex life of an ostrich is pretty good? Well, for the male I think it is. BOTH LAUGH TRANQUIL MUSIC And where did you first meet Ian? Uh, I was first-year nursing of 17, and, yeah, it was the night before duck shooting, actually,... (LAUGHS) ...and, um` but he thought he'd stop in at this dance and just say hi to some of his old schoolmates. Oh, OK. But there was` He spotted a new girl. (LAUGHS) But the next day he couldn't remember her name. (LAUGHS) Oh, I think he rang a couple of people and, um, sort of said, 'Well, who was she, and where's she from, and how do I find her?' And, yeah, he duly tracked me down that, uh, next evening. Next evening? I think it was the next evening, from memory. Oh, he was keen as mustard. Yes. BOTH LAUGH A-And how long have you been together now? We've been married 37 years. Wow, and what's the secret of being together for 37 years? Well, me telling him what to do... (LAUGHS) ...and him saying, 'Yes, dear.' BOTH LAUGH TRANQUIL MUSIC So, this male, or rooster ` they're his three wives, or harem, as you say. (LAUGHS) They've been together for quite a few years, and are a very settled, uh, family. Um, you'll look over here. There's a nest of eggs. His ladies have been laying in there, and they will sit on them and incubate them and hatch them out. (GRUNTS) So, these fellas here, they're a bit like you, eh; they mate for life? Yeah, they're, um, fairly picky who they mate with. Um, you can put a hen with a male, and sometimes they just won't take it. Ah, yeah. So you gotta separate them again. That didn't happen with you and Rosemary, though, eh? No. Was it love at first sight with you and Rosemary? I think it was. She's a good cook? Very good cook. She likes to cook ostrich, does she? (LAUGHS) Yeah, she cooks ostrich very well. And so on the barbecue, is it? It's on the barbecue. Yum, we're about to eat free-range ostrich. Prime tucker. One ostrich egg. Oh, it's tough. BOTH: Whoa! Look at that. Well done. She's through. I'll go round a little bit more. Yep. Oh! You think that's enough? Really good. Really good. You'll have to help me here now, Rosie. Yes, yes. I'm gonna tip it up this way. There we go. BOTH: Whoo-hoo! That was amazing! Righty-ho, let's that on to an omelette. Looking good, Jools. How many eggs is that worth? Oh, I dunno. About 18 to 20. Whoo-hoo! Hey, Rosie, what cut of meat is it? This is, um, an eye fillet,... OK. ...so it's off of the back area of the bird. Well, it's a very lean meat,... Yes. ...so, um, it needs to be medium rare to be at its best. OK. Uh, so just a quick sear on` on either side. And` And still quite pink in the middle. Well, my eggs look really good there, Rose. What else are we gonna have with our burgers? Well, we're gonna have some beetroot relish` spicy beetroot relish that I just made this week. You made it that week? I'm gonna have to try that. Yeah, would you want a taste? Yeah, I'm going in. Ostrich is really nice with beetroot... Wow, yeah. ...or, um, cranberry. So, that's looking good. Take that off. Well, I'm really looking forward to this meat. I've never had ostrich before. I've never had an ostrich egg either. I've never had your beautiful beetroot relish, so this is gonna be a humdinger of a hamburger. Let's eat. Here's to the most exotic bird in the world and the ostriches too. Thanks, Rosemary. Cheers. Cheers. Thanks, girls. That is the perfect Kiwi burger ` free-range egg, beetroot and ostrich. Can't beat it. # When they're through. # In my heart, # I'm letting you in. # Just let that loving in. # Now, remember, Lynda ` if an ostrich ever has a tanty in front of you, you gotta stop, drop and roll. (GRUNTS) Exotic, Ken ` belly dancers, Arabian nights, snake charmers and Turkish delights, Shangri-La and Zanzibar. You can discover it all at the Persian Bazaar. We've got it right here, Ken, so why not give it a go? Eat some bugs, some long-necked birds, and barbecue a buffalo. Your lizard's ready, mate. Lovely Get that down ya.