You're a real estate agent. I know I don't sell that many houses. You're a real estate agent. None. You sell none. I'm gonna have to reconsider your role. Don't you worry about listings, Anna. Be our dedicated buyers' agent. I'm gonna perform so well for you. Ta-da! Ta-da! Oh! My`! My own face! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! (CHUCKLES) TYRES SQUEAL BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! (SIGHS) (SIGHS) BEEP! Mm! Wander up. Take a look. I won't be long. Oh! Open home! (CHUCKLES) I better open it. INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS Excuse me. BEEP! Thank you. Oh! EXCITING MUSIC ENGINE REVS Excuse me. Excuse me, what are you doing? That's a very important real estate agent. Get away. Morning. Morning. (GRUNTS SOFTLY) (SIGHS) (GRUNTS) DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE (GRUNTS REPEATEDLY) (GIGGLES) (SIGHS) Ah! DULCIANA'S 'ABOVE THE CLOUDS' # Big, bright morning. # Somewhere else is calling. Somewhere new is waiting. # Happy to be going, # pack my bags and be above the clouds. # Copyright Able 2014 Morning. Morning. Ah. Kingston. I got a little something for you. Nice wee commish coming your way. Nice wee commish coming your way. Oh, thank goodness. Do you think you earned it? Do you think you earned it? Yes. I went swimming with a psychopath to get that sale. How quickly you have turned on Grant. If it wasn't for you and him snuggled up in that wardrobe, you'd go hungry. You sold Castle St to him. So if you had it listed it at 1.6... You sold Castle St to him. So if you had it listed it at 1.6... (CLEARS THROAT) Try 1.9. Uh, then that makes it... ...tiny. ...tiny. (HUMS) What many women have discovered. I can't live on this. Well, it's not like you actually did anything. Well, it's not like you actually did anything. No! I broke into a house. I touched a vibrator! Ow. Yeah. (CHUCKLES) Yeah, but it wasn't your listing; it was my listing. I can't` I can't live on this. I've got so many debts and bills. This money is all gone, and it's` it's my mother's birthday` it's my mother's birthday` Stop your moaning and get some listings. it's my mother's birthday` Yeah, but how? it's my mother's birthday` Yeah, but how? Hustle. Work your contacts. You know, friends. Anna! It's so nice to see you. Oh my God, you're... you're, um... Oh my God, you're... you're, um... ...pregnant. Yes. Oh my God, you're... you're, um... ...pregnant. Yes. Really? Hey. I'm Karyn, the other baby-mama. Hey. I'm Karyn, the other baby-mama. CHUCKLES: Other baby-mama. Hey. I'm Karyn, the other baby-mama. CHUCKLES: Other baby-mama. Mm-hm. Hey. I'm Karyn, the other baby-mama. CHUCKLES: Other baby-mama. (CHUCKLES) Um... So how, um... I mean, um... (CHUCKLES) Who did that? Donor. Donor. Oh, donor. Wow. Wow, all right. We're so happy, aren't we, babe? Wow, all right. We're so happy, aren't we, babe? Mm. So,... that's my big news. I wanted to tell you in person. So, what's up with you? So, what's up with you? Um, houses. (CHUCKLES) Houses, houses. How's the real estate going? Are you killing it? How's the real estate going? Are you killing it? Oh, yeah, I'm killing everything. I'm loving being back at work. I can't say I ever saw myself ending up a travel agent but... Back at work? Well, you got such a good settlement. Why? Back at work? Well, you got such a good settlement. Why? Self-worth? Back at work? Well, you got such a good settlement. Why? Oh, yeah, of course. (LAUGHS) So, business must be booming. So, business must be booming. Oh. Yeah. Booming. Booming, booming. Could be more booming. We know so many that just cashed up and left. Don't we, sweetheart? Auckland's just turned into the Wild West. Soon we won't have any friends left. Will we, bubby? Aw, you'll always have me, boo. (CHUCKLES WEAKLY) Um... Um, which friends? What do you mean? What do you mean? Uh, well, do you have any friends you know who are selling houses? What do you mean? Oh, mainly Karyn's friends. Oh, mainly Karyn's friends. Uh-huh. And are they, um...? Are they...? Are they what? Are they travel agents too? Uh, you look a wee bit stressed. Uh, you look a wee bit stressed. (GIGGLES) It's all right to say that, yeah? Uh, you look a wee bit stressed. It's all right to say that, yeah? It's all right to say that, yeah? Oh, of course. I'm just, um... I'm just a wee bit busy. It's all right to say that, yeah? Anna, you should try inviting abundance. A what? A what? Oh, it's, a` a thing we do ` a workshop. Oh. Well, I` I think even after Daniel, the... gay thing's not really my cup of tea. BOTH LAUGH BOTH LAUGH No, no, no. It's not a gay thing. Oh. BOTH LAUGH Oh. It's spiritual. It's great for dropping some emotional baggage. Oh, but I think I'm over my divorce. I really think I am. Oh, but I think I'm over my divorce. I really think I am. Anna, let's be honest. You've always had trouble being in the moment. Now's the time to recognise the now. Ooh. They've got flyers here. I'm gonna get you one. Ooh. They've got flyers here. I'm gonna get you one. Oh, thank you. Ooh. They've got flyers here. If nothing else, think of it as a selling tool. PRINTER WHIRRS Right. LIM report. 30 copies ASAP. Have you followed up the Valley Rd buyers? Uh, no. I had to meet some people for lunch, and then I needed to go to the supermarket. You've got something in your teeth, Kingston. You've got something in your teeth, Kingston. Oh. You've got something in your teeth, Kingston. Looks like grass. No. Still there. READS: Feelings that repel abundance ` anger, irritability, resentment, fear. These are my staple emotions. Nope. Left. The other left. The other left. Mm. The other left. Mm. I mean, this is crap. I'm abundant. The other left. Mm. Can you get it? There's a market there that someone could tap into. A market? A market? Yeah. Anxious... tossers trying to find themselves, A market? begging to be fleeced. begging to be fleeced. Well, I wouldn't wanna fleece them. begging to be fleeced. Well, I wouldn't wanna fleece them. (SCOFFS) You call yourself an agent? begging to be fleeced. Well, I wouldn't wanna fleece them. These people have money, Kingston. And enormous trousers. And houses. And houses. Couldn't pay me to wear trousers like that. And houses. 1 Hello. Hullo! Happy birthday! # Happy birthday to you. # Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, Mum. # (GIGGLES) Last of the big spenders (!) Last of the big spenders (!) Oh, well` well, you` You love gateau, don't you? We've hardly seen you, Anna. Does that mean you're finally making some money? Well, actually, I'm doing rather well at the moment. I have just been made a buyers' agent for the entire office. CELL PHONE BUZZES, RINGS CELL PHONE BUZZES, RINGS Oh God. Sorry. I've to take this. Isn't that wonderful? Isn't that wonderful? It will be work. Hullo` Hullo` HORN HONKS OUTSIDE WHISPERS: Where are you going? WHISPERS: Where are you going? Out. WHISPERS: Where are you going? Out. Clayton St? WHISPERS: Where are you going? Out. that straight through. Bye-bye. HORN HONKS HORN HONKS You can't go out, young lady. HORN HONKS You can't go out, young lady. Gabe's waiting. Later (!) (GASPS) You let her just waltz out of here on a school night. (GASPS) You let her just waltz out of here on a school night. I didn't know, Mum. I know. That's because you only think about yourself. I know. That's because you only think about yourself. Mum. Just... Just cut the cake. He's 19, Anna. He's a raging hormone. He's 19, Anna. He's a raging hormone. Mm! He's 19, Anna. He's a raging hormone. Neil. Oh God. Sorry. I'll just take this. Neil. Oh God. Sorry. I'll just take this. Oh, unbelievable. Neil. Oh God. Sorry. I'll just take this. Hello. Anna Kingston. Oh. Yes, absolutely. I'll just get a pen, and I'll write the... I'm afraid Anna can't take this call. It's her mother's birthday. I'm afraid Anna can't take this call. It's her mother's birthday. WHISPERS: Give it back. I'm afraid Anna can't take this Mum, what on earth are you doing? (HUFFS) This cake's disgusting. Well, I` I suppose you'll be getting a nice big fat pay rise with all the extra work you've got. That` That office thing. That` That office thing. Buyers' agent? That` That office thing. Buyers' agent? Yeah. That` That office thing. Buyers' agent? Um... (CHEWS NOISILY) It doesn't... It doesn't quite work like that. Mm-hm? Mm-hm? Dad, OK, this is the house for sale, right? The sales commission... The sales commission... Yeah? The sales commission... Yeah? ...is 3.5%. 3.5%? 3.5%? Mm. Well, I mean, it can be bigger. I can negotiate a bigger cut if I want, but I'm not in that league yet. So... that's your piece of the cake? Well, no, not really, because... this... is for the listing agent, hmm? And that is for the office. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. And this... Yeah. And this... That's what you get? Yeah. And this... See that? See that? Mm-hm. See that? Mm-hm. That's the piece of cake you want. PHONE RINGS Mm-hm. PHONE RINGS PHONE RINGS Bree, could you maybe get that (?) PHONE RINGS Bree, could you maybe get that (?) PHONE CONTINUES RINGING Oh. You look busy, Anna (!) Oh. You look busy, Anna (!) Oh. Yes, sorry. I'm just drowning in Sandi and Leon's LIM reports. Still nothing on the listing front? Still nothing on the listing front? Um, no. No, no, not yet. Still nothing on the listing front? Um, no. No, no, not yet. You need to keep trying. Well, I` I'm working night and day, but Sandi and Leon have made me their slave. I mean, how am I meant to find the time to snare new clients? I'm not a miracle worker. I'm not asking for miracles; I'm asking you to bring something in! I'm not asking for miracles; I'm asking you to bring something in! PHONE CONTINUES RINGING Bree! For God's sake! Ooh, Anna. No. What? What? Those slacks. They're not flattering. What? They're Vietnamese fisherman's trousers, Mum. Did you buy them? Did you buy them? No! I stole them off a Vietnamese fisherman. Course I bought them. Did you buy them? Just a wee bit. I'm gonna go and get some more. BELL CHIMES SERENE FLUTE MUSIC SOFTLY: Hello. Hi. SOFTLY: Hello. FLUTE MUSIC CONTINUES Kia ora. Kia ora. ALL: Kia ora. Kia ora. ALL: Kia ora. Welcome. Kia ora. ALL: Kia ora. Welcome to Inviting Abundance. And my name is Puri. And my name is Puri. ALL: Kia ora, Puri. And my name is Puri. ALL: Kia ora, Puri. Thank you. Now, I would like you to turn to your neighbour and say, 'Congratulations.' Go on. Congratulations! ALL: Congratulations. ALL: Congratulations. Congratulations on taking the first step to transforming your life. ALL: Congratulations. ALL: Congratulations on taking the first step to transforming your life. Oh. Sorry. Got a bit lost. And one more time. To your neighbour. ALL: Congratulations on taking the first step to transforming your life. Oh. Thank you. (CHUCKLES) Congratulations yourself. Let's connect. Now, I'd like you all to take a deep breath in. ALL INHALE LOUDLY ALL INHALE LOUDLY And on the exhale, sigh. WOMAN EXHALES LOUDLY, BELL CHIMES So, you're really happy where you live? Mm. It's good. It's good to be happy, isn't it? But if you felt that you weren't happy with where you were living` But if you felt that you weren't happy with where you were living` Anna... But if you felt that you weren't I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Lovely to speak. Bye-bye. Yes? I hope you're not abusing this space. I hope you're not abusing this space. What do you mean? Subtle as a brick. Subtle as a brick. Oh. Oh, I was just inviting abundance. There she is. (CHUCKLES) So much prettier in real life. So much prettier in real life. (CHUCKLES) No, I'm not. No, you're not. (SIGHS) Joking. Sorry. No, you are more beautiful than this... dud shot. Yeah. I'm joking. Hi, Anna and...? Claire. Claire. Um, I know both your names. Would you like to know mine? Claire. No. Claire. No. Yes, I would. I would. Rory O'Connor. No. Rory O'Connor. Rory O'Connor. Rory O'Connor. Rory O'Connor. Rory O'Connor. (CHUCKLES) Rory O'Connor. Rory O'Connor. Those are some giant trousers, Anna. Looks like there could be room for two in there. Looks like there could be room for two in there. Anna, it's starting again. Looks like there could be room for two in there. Oh, goody. (GIGGLES) Don't you love it when you receive an invitation? Don't you love it when you receive an invitation? DING! Don't you love it when Not a lukewarm 'I don't really wanna go' invitation but a 'Well, yes. That would be really nice' kind of invitation. What kind of invitation are you sending the universe? How do you invite abundance into your life? Breathe... deep into your perineum. And as you breathe out, I want you to let go of all those negative thoughts. (GRUNTS) 'This is stupid.' 'This is stupid.' (GRUNTS) 'What's the point?' 'This is stupid.' 'What's the point?' 'What's the point?' (BREATHES LOUDLY) 'What's the point?' (BREATHES LOUDLY) 'I'm worthless.' (GRUMBLES, BABBLES) 'I'm a failure.' 'I'm a failure.' (GRUNTS, PANTS, WHINES) Or... 'Nobody loves me.' (GAGS, WHIMPERS) Acknowledge them and... Acknowledge them and... (WHIMPERS, GRUNTS) Acknowledge them and... (WHIMPERS, GRUNTS) ...let them go. Acknowledge them and... (WHIMPERS, GRUNTS) (GRUNTS, EXHALES LOUDLY) Good work. Good work. (PANTS, GRUNTS LABORIOUSLY) (EXCLAIMS) (LAUGHS) OH! (GRUNTS SQUEAKILY) (SOBS LOUDLY) (CRIES LOUDLY) (LAUGHS, SOBS, SQUEALS) (PANTS) (PANTS) Well done. That was so brave. (GASPS) WHISPERS: Excuse me. I have to go to the bathroom. THUD! THUD! THUD! 1 DULCIANA'S 'ABOVE THE CLOUDS' You right there, Anna? Oh, I don't know. Something came over me. Yeah. And it was powerful. Did I`? Did I make a noise? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? (PANTS) Oh no. Oh no. Was it embarrassing? (WHIMPERS) (WHIMPERS) It was amazing. (WHIMPERS) It was amazing. (PANTS) (WHIMPERS) It was amazing. I've never... seen a woman just... go for it like that, you know? I mean, once or twice, I have. But not like that. I mean, once or twice, I have. But not like that. I don't` I don't know what happened. You contacted your inner beast. You contacted your inner beast. Did I? Yeah, that's what happened. You contacted your inner beast. Yeah, that's what happened. Really? Yeah, that's what happened. Really? Yeah. Yeah, that's what happened. Was`? Was I`? Was I`? Was I like an animal? Was like a wild animal. It was crazy. Really? Really? Yeah, well, it turned me on crazy. I was like` Yeah, it was crazy! Really? (PANTS) Oh. This is not who I am. (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) CLICK! CLICK! (SIGHS) Hey, um, I` I've never done anything like that before. Why? Why? What do you mean? Why? What do you mean? You're gorgeous. You're sexy. So, am I the first woman that you've ever, like, you know, in a toilet? So, am I the first woman that you've ever, like, you know, in a toilet? Yes. No. No. But it was a different cubicle, so... that's all right. (CHUCKLES) Yeah. So have you`? Have you, like,... (CLEARS THROAT) found abundance before? You know. Yeah. Yeah. But cubicle three, Anna,... you were the most... abundant. (CHUCKLES) (CHUCKLES) (GIGGLES) (INHALES DEEPLY) B` Bye. Bye. Bye. < BICYCLE BELL DINGS You OK, Anna? You OK, Anna? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine. You got in touch with some pretty deep stuff in there. You got in touch with some pretty deep stuff in there. Yeah. Yeah, well, you know, ugly divorce, working mother, living with teenage girls and my parents. Mm. I hear ya. Mm. I hear ya. Yeah, so` so I let go. Yeah, I let go. Yeah, I let go. I'm impressed. Yeah, I let go. I'm impressed. (CHUCKLES) Karyn didn't think you'd come. I'm impressed. Karyn didn't think you'd come. Karyn didn't think you'd come. (LAUGHS) Oh really? Oh, I came, all right. Yeah, I came. Karyn didn't think you'd come. Yeah, there's something in it, eh? You OK to drive? You OK to drive? Yeah. I'm really great. I'm fantastic. I'm good. (CHUCKLES) Bye-bye. Bye, Karyn. Bye-bye! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Good day at work? Good day at work? Oh. Great. Amazing. Did you sell anything? Did you sell anything? Oh, Mum, Mum. You know, sometimes` Sometimes it's just not about the selling. Hmm? What is it about, then? Hmm? What is it about, then? Well, it's about inviting abundance, you know? Hmm? What is it about, then? You just... You just invite it, and it... (GIGGLES) just comes. That's never been my experience. That's never been my experience. I know, Mum, and that's so, so... sad. Are you drunk? Are you drunk? No, Mum. I'm just happy. Are you drunk? No, Mum. I'm just happy. Happy? Yeah, and I` I just want you to know that I really... I really appreciate everything that you do ` you know, the` the washing and the` and the meals and... and` and letting us stay in the flat. Ah, yes. We do need some rent now. Ah, yes. We do need some rent now. Yes, yes, and that's` that'll come later. And some help with the` Yes, yes, and that's` that'll come later. And some help with the` And some help with the bills. I know. I know. I know. But... And some help with the` Just take it, Mum. Just take the love. The love? The love? Yeah. Yeah. Just... Just take it. To be honest, Anna, money would be more useful. (CHUCKLES) Money. DOOR SHUTS LEON: (HUMS) So, Kingston,... did you score? No. No, no, no, no. I did do some, uh... I did do some social networking, though. WEAKLY: Ow! WEAKLY: Ow! Listings. Any listings, woman? No. No. Ah, well, your life of drudgery continues. Off you go. No. Quick coffee run before the sales meeting? But... But... No buts. Chop-chop! But... No buts. Chop-chop! But... But... No buts. Chop-chop! I'm a buyers' agent now. Here you go. You can keep the change. No, no, no. There won't be any change. No, no, no. There won't be any change. Story of your life, isn't it? DULCIANA'S 'ABOVE THE CLOUDS' Anna! Liz. Liz from the workshop. Oh! Yes. Hello. BOTH CHUCKLE BOTH CHUCKLE Goodness, you` you kept my card. BOTH CHUCKLE Goodness, you` you kept my card. They were hard to miss. (LAUGHS) BOTH CHUCKLE Goodness, you` you kept my card. Look, Anna, I like your chutzpah. My what? My what? Your energy. I mean, you seem very free. Me? Me? Anybody who can... let go like that in a public space,... Me? humiliation and leave cards on the mat? free themselves up to public humiliation and leave cards on the mat? Well, um,... (GIGGLES) I like to think that I am a` a... open person. DOOR SHUTS DOOR SHUTS Anna. You missed the meeting. DOOR SHUTS Doesn't matter. She's got nothing. Doesn't matter. She's got nothing. Wouldn't exactly say that. Where's mine? Where's mine? Ooh! Oh, I'm sorry. Have Leon's. Where's mine? Have Leon's. Have Leon's. Hey! Have Leon's. Hey! (CHUCKLES) Actually, I do have something. Hey! Actually, I do have something. Actually, I do have something. Hot flushes? Actually, I do have something. Hot flushes? No. I got a listing. Way to go, Anna! (LAUGHS) You know, it's the lies I can't stand. No. No, no, no, it's true. I got one from the weekend. I called it. I knew I spotted a difference. A two-bedroom cottage in central city. (SQUEALS) So you did score, Kingston! So you did score, Kingston! I scored! I scored! I told ya you could do it. I told ya you could do it. (LAUGHS) I scored. (PANTS) UPBEAT MUSIC DULCIANA'S 'ABOVE THE CLOUDS' DULCIANA'S 'ABOVE THE CLOUDS' # Big, bright morning. # Somewhere else is calling. Somewhere new is waiting. # Happy to be going, # pack my bags and be... # above the clouds. # Above the clouds. # Copyright Able 2014