I think what we should do is start you some open homes and get you the best possible price. Don't take it off. I remember her wearing it. Place is looking so nice now. I'd be mad to sell it. This money is all gone! Get some listings. Get some listings. But how?! Get some listings. But how?! Hustle. Work your contacts. Get some listings. Do you have any friends who are selling houses? You should try inviting abundance. Think of it as a selling tool. Let go of all those negative thoughts. You kept my card. You kept my card. Well, they were hard to miss. I got a listing. I got a listing. < Way to go, Anna! Bells. Bells, I thought you said you were gonna sort the washing? Bella, I can't find any clean underwear. Bella, I can't find any clean underwear. Go commando, then. Why are you walking like that? Oh, don't even think about giving those back to me, Mum. Oh, don't even think about giving those back to me, Mum. CELL PHONE RINGS Oh, that's so lame. Why don't you have a ringtone from this century? Oh, that's so lame. Why don't you have a ringtone from this century? Liz. Liz, hi. Uh, yep, yep, we're still on for today. Sorry, just running a little bit late. I'm on my way. Bye-bye. Oh my God. Liz, this... this house is adorable. How long have you lived here? How long have you lived here? Eight years. I've done it from scratch. How long have you lived here? I love this house, but there comes a time when you need to choose change. Oh. Yes. I couldn't agree more. That is so wise, Liz. And the market's vibing cash right now. It's definitely vibing. You couldn't have chosen a better time to sell. I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got my nude Bikram class to teach. I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got my nude Bikram class to teach. Nude? Did you say nude? I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got my nude Bikram class to teach. You should try it. Oh, I will. Thank you. Oh, I will. Thank you. Just shut the doors. They'll lock behind you. Oh, I will. Thank you. Oh, OK. I'll just take a few photographs of the house and, uh,... maybe one of this bird bath. Such a lovely feature, isn't it? Thank you. Thank you. Make yourself at home. Thank you. Make yourself at home. I will. Namaste, Liz. UPBEAT MUSIC MUSIC CONTINUES 1 1 # Big, bright morning. # Somewhere else is calling. Somewhere new is waiting. # Happy to be going, # pack my bags and be above the clouds. # < What's got you looking so happy? < What's got you looking so happy? Isn't it gorgeous? Golden rule of real estate, Anna ` never fall in love with your listings. Oh, don't be silly. I'm not in love with it. It's happened to all of us. Always ends in tears. It's happened to all of us. Always ends in tears. Oh, I hear you. I hear you. You can't afford it. Always ends in tears. You can't afford it. No, no, no. That's not what I mean. You know, the` the market is it` is it` is it vibing? That's your job to find out, Anna. Now, you gotta sell this baby. Top dollar. Top dollar. Top dollar. Make your vendor happy. Top dollar. Make your vendor happy. Yes. Bree. Bree! I'm flat out. Yes, I know, I can see that, but I really need your help uploading these photos on to the computer. Please. I'll buy you a muffin. All you need to do is click on that, then you move it to the A-drive folder, then you open up the sub-folder, and then you upload the photos. Excuse me, what is the A-drive folder? Excuse me, what is the A-drive folder? (LAUGHS) Stop that. (LAUGHS) What's so funny? What's so funny? Oh, no, nothing. Bree's just showing me some photos. What's so funny? Any nudies? Any nudies? Did I hear the word 'nudie'? Listen, you can all just go back to` Any nudies? Listen, you can all just go back to` Listen, you can all just go back to` Oh, it's OK. We've all done one of those. Relax, Anna. Look, they're just photos. They're nothing` Listen, you can all just go back to` Look, they're just photos. They're nothing` Look, they're just photos. They're nothing` Good God. Kingston, is that your clacker? No. No, it's not... They're fabulous. You've got a good eye. They're fabulous. You've got a good eye. Have I? They're fabulous. You've got a good eye. Technology makes life so easy now. (GIGGLES) It does, doesn't it? (GIGGLES) It does, doesn't it? Would you like a luwak? (GIGGLES) It does, doesn't it? Would you like a luwak? A what` what` who? (GIGGLES) It does, doesn't it? Would you like a luwak? The luwak climbs to the top of the canopy, eats the tastiest bean, then after it's fermented in its gut, craps it on to the forest floor. Do you like it? It's delicious. I have to say, I'm looking forward to this ` a new adventure, a sea change. Liz, do you mind me asking why you are leaving? I mean, it must be so difficult to say goodbye to something you've put so much work into. It's all part of the journey. That and I'm seeing a 24-year-old Balinese fisherman. (SQUEALS) 24?! That's amazing. And now I'm moving to his village. To fish? To fish? He can't move here ` he doesn't speak English. To fish? universal language, isn't it? But, you know, love is a universal language, isn't it? But, you know, love is a universal language, isn't it? Oh, absolutely. Just like Esperanto. That's enough of my own 'Eat, Pray, Love' moment. Oh, no, no. Please go on. I find it really inspiring. In fact,... (SIGHS) it makes me feel like I'm not really alive, you know? Don't wait too long. If there's something you want, you need to reach out and take it. Just like that. Just like that. With both hands. < Look at that. Now, that is a little cutie. Now, that is a little cutie. Mm. I can see me there, me and Bells. If you win Lotto. (LAUGHS) Well, I wouldn't have to win Lotto. I just need to find a deposit. And a guarantor for your mortgage. Anna, you don't own anything. And a guarantor for your mortgage. Anna, you don't own anything. I know. (SIGHS DEEPLY) I know. I'd just really love to have my own home again. But you know you can stay here as long as you want. But you know you can stay here as long as you want. I know. Thanks, Dad. But you know you can stay It's just at my age, I just don't feel like I'm getting anywhere. (CLEARS THROAT) So, um,... how` how much do you think you'd want for a deposit on that? I dunno. Maybe, um` Maybe` Maybe 40 grand? 40 grand? 40 grand? Mm-hm. Well, i-it's just that... your mother and I have put aside a little nest egg, and it's` it's just sitting there, so... and it's` it's just sitting there, so... It's, um... It's... Well, it's about the amount you're looking for. O-Of course, I'd have to speak to your mother first. I'd pay you back. I mean, I would. Th` This would be a loan. It wouldn't be a gift. And` And I could just sell a few more houses in no time, and Mum would worry, wouldn't she? Yes. Yes. So we could just` we could just, um` we could just... Yes. ...keep it to ourselves. You're still numbing sensitive teeth? It's the way. There's a better way. Colgate Sensitive Pro-Relief actually helps repair the openings to exposed nerves. That's, uh...that's... A better way. (GROANS) Ohh! VOICEOVER: Colgate Sensitive Pro-Relief. UPBEAT MUSIC Oh. Oh, dry rot. You know, I'm` I'm not too sure about the piles either. You know, I'd really want a builder all over this before I made any kind of commitment. Oh, it's a bit poky for a bedroom, isn't it? Even a child's bedroom. Would have to be one teeny tiny baby to fit in there. We're not looking for a family home. We're not looking for a family home. Oh, I'm sorry. I just thought you were pregnant and... I dunno why I thought that. Must have been the cut of your top. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Not that it makes you look fat. Not that it makes you look fat. I am pregnant. So, what do you think? Not that it makes you look fat. Uh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I` I'm` I'm not following you. I thought you said`? It's not for us. It's an addition to our rental portfolio. Oh, it's an investment property. How sensible. I would never have looked ahead and think about retirement at your age. The thing is, this one's probably just a` a wee bit expensive. Properties. Properties. BOTH: Plural. I have just cleared 10 messages from people who came to my open home. I have just cleared 10 messages from people who came to my open home. Oh, welcome to real estate. Thank you. They wanted to know this and that. Why didn't they just read the flyer? Don't you want a job? Don't you want a job? They've all got so much money. How did they make it all? Well, maybe they hustle more than they whinge. Well, maybe they hustle more than they whinge. But I don't w` It's not fair. Oh, you're just feeling sorry for yourself because you didn't use your open home to make a sale. Where as I, on the other hand, sold three houses on Saturday. Three. You must be so rich. You must be so rich. I am, darling. And you could be too if only... If` If only what? If` If only what? Stand up. Turn around. There are assets there, but you're really not working them. There are assets there, but you're really not working them. OK, well, how do I do it? You know,... it's almost tempting. (GASPS) I can't really afford this, you know? Well, I can, so shut up and be grateful. It's more fun with me, isn't it? I mean, if it was just you on your own, it would just be sad. Just a few things to remember before we hit the bar. Just a few things to remember before we hit the bar. OK. Just a few things to remember before we hit the bar. after work like friends. Firstly, this will never happen again ` you and I together going out after work like friends. Right. Got ya. OK. Secondly, it's only because I just paid a fortune to get the skin of a 3-year-old that I'm in a bar with you. that I'm in a bar with you. Right. Right, got ya. Um, uh, I don't think that looks very natural. Natural is just a beauty myth designed by the average to make them feel better about themselves. Ah! I can't breathe. Ah! I can't breathe. Now, just remember, I am 40, self-employed and childless. Yeah, but... Yeah, but... You heard me. Yeah, but... You heard me. DANCE MUSIC PLAYS MUSIC CONTINUES 1 Hi. Oh, hello. Good evening, ladies. Fancy a drink? Good evening, ladies. Fancy a drink? Sorry, we're looking for people our own age. Good evening, ladies. Fancy a drink? Your age? Good evening, ladies. Fancy a drink? Your age? Mm, that's right ` 30-something. They seemed nice. They wanted to buy use a drink. They seemed nice. They wanted to buy use a drink. Anna, those men were old. They seemed nice. They wanted to buy use a drink. aren't really noticing us. They're intimidated. They'll warm up. They're intimidated. They'll warm up. The old ones are already warmed up. They're intimidated. Anna, has no one ever taught you never accept the first offer? What am I saying? You slept with Clint. What am I saying? You slept with Clint. You married him. What am I saying? Yes, but I learnt from my mistakes never to settle for comfort. You have gotta put a price on your head, and when you know how much you're worth, that's when things really start to happen. Oh, well. You know, some nights, the fish just aren't biting. Oh, well. You know, some nights, the fish just aren't biting. (GIGGLES) Oh, well. You know, some nights, (SIGHS) Wow. It's amazing, isn't it? It's amazing, isn't it? It's just fabulous. It's amazing, isn't it? It's so` It's` It's so you. I took it to celebrate. I took it to celebrate. Celebrate what? I took it to celebrate. Celebrate what? Myself. I took it to celebrate. Celebrate what? Wow. Wow. I think the last time anyone took a picture of me was probably at my wedding. That's precisely the problem. That's precisely the problem. It's all right. I'm not very photogenic. You know, Daniel used to say to me that I look like Mrs Potato Head if you got me on the wrong angle. It is your job to conquer imperfection. I know. I know. I just` I just don't know where to start. I know. I know. I just` I just don't know where to start. Well, luckily I do. WHIMSICAL MUSIC BOTH GRUNT Oh. BOTH: Down and up. Down and` Bring. Bring. Ah! Bring. Come on. Down. On the bottom. Up. It tickles. Ah! Come on, get down. Get the hips moving. Round. Round. Round. Round. Round. GIGGLING Feel my boobs. Whoa! Oh! They're like` They're like rock melons. They're like` They're like rock melons. Yes, exactly. (GIGGLES) Roar. Roar. Roar. Roar. Roar. Roarrr! Roar! Roarrr! Roar. Roar. Roar. Roar! Rah! Raaaah! This is harder than I thought. This is harder than I thought. You` You are such a master, Sandi. (LAUGHS) I am, aren't I? Now, there's one last thing that I wanna tell you. What's that? What's that? It is the golden rule. What's that? What's that? Never look down. I'm sorry? Get on top of me. Get on top of me. What? Get on top of me. What? Get on top of me. GIGGLING I'm on top of you. I'm on top of you. Now,when you're with a young hunk next, don't look down. Why not? Why not? Lean forward and look. Oh my God, I look like a bloodhound. Oh my God, I look like a bloodhound. DOOR OPENS Ladies, lesbianism is, like, so giving up. (LAUGHS) Yup, Eden Realty. Yup. I'll pass that on. I'll pass that on. Why does it keep on ringing? I'll pass that on. Why does it keep on ringing? And always for Kingston. I'll pass that on. I'm just hot today. PHONE RINGS I'm just hot today. PHONE RINGS PHONE RINGS Messages ` they wanna take their builder through your cottage. PHONE RINGS Why does that sound disgusting? Bree, for God sake, answer the phone! Why does that sound disgusting? PHONE CONTINUES RINGING PHONE CONTINUES RINGING Anna. You look, uh... Successful? Successful? Yeah. Very successful. Now all you have to do is be successful. That's right. Find a buyer for this little beauty. Oh. SLOWLY: Can I help you? No, no. I was just looking for Anna. No, no. I was just looking for Anna. Everyone wants her today. No, no. I was just looking for Anna. Everyone wants her today. Dad. Is everything OK? Oh, yeah, no, no, fine. It's just, um, that thing you were talking about, you know? The money thing? The money thing? Oh. Oh, oh, the` the business` business thing. Yeah. Yeah. Um, you know, of course, I haven't said anything to your mother about it because, as we both know, she'd just have kittens. But I do think you're on the right track, my darling, so, uh, I went down to the bank and, um,... I got a cheque. Dad, you didn't need to do that. Dad, you didn't need to do that. No, it's all right. I mean, they could probably do it with computers. But, um, it's just such a lot of money, I wanted to be able to hold it in my hand, you know. Listen, you keep it. Eh? Eh? You hold on to it. Eh? You hold on to it. No, I thought you said that` Yeah, it's lovely, but I've thought it through, and I don't think it's realistic, Dad. W-Well, if you're sure? Yes, I'm sure, and I really have to get back to work. I'm so sorry. Bye-bye. Thank you. Right. Um` Bye. Bye. Bye-bye, darling. Bye. Bye-bye, darling. Bye-bye. Love you. Bye. What the hell's going on? What the hell's going on? I've got millions of builders trying to get into this cottage. Your father lending you money? Your father lending you money? Absolutely not. Your father lending you money? Absolutely not. So you can buy your listing? No, Clint. Um, I'm not buying it ` I'm selling it. Not to yourself? Not to yourself? (LAUGHS) No. Then why did your father Not to yourself? Then why did your father have a bank cheque? Then why did your father have a bank cheque? He didn't. Then why did your father He, um` He likes to pretend that he goes to the bank, but really, he just goes to town and sits on a bench. but really, he just goes to town and sits on a bench. Is he a bit cray-cray? Yeah, just a bit. Yeah, nah, place is solid. There's not more to say, you know? Owner's done a mint job. Owner's done a mint job. Good. We will, of course, be gutting it top to bottom. Owner's done a mint job. That's a shame. You got all the beauty detail. That's a shame. You got all the beauty detail. Gone. Over it. Yeah. We hate old. all the beauty detail. Yeah. We hate old. Yeah. We hate old. BOTH: We're minimalists. Yeah. We hate old. BOTH: We're minimalists. Thanks a lot. ENGINE SPUTTERS (SIGHS) MELANCHOLY MUSIC I know you. I know you. Oh my God. It's, um, Charles? Anna. Anna Kingston, real estate agent. That's right, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. BOTH CHUCKLE NERVOUSLY How are you? How are you? Oh, as you see, never better. Did you, um`? Did you ever sell your house? I did. Best move I ever made. That's great. Where are you living now? Where are you living now? Mm, over there for now. Are you, um... Are you living on the street? Are you living on the street? Well, I prefer to say al fresco. Are you`? Are you homeless, Charles? And never happier. Wh` What is a home, really? Just bricks and mortar. Uh, and security. Security is a state of mind, Anna. Well,... that's something to think about. Anyway, I must be getting on. Anyway, I must be getting on. Uh, not without a hug, surely? Anyway, I must be getting on. Uh, not without a hug, surely? Oh. Mm. Oh, de` delightful to see you. Looking so marvellous too. OK. Well, it's` it's nice to see you, Charles. Bye-bye. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Hm? Dad. Dad. Hm? Can I change my mind? Dad. Dad. Hm? Eh? About the money. I still want it. Well, now you got me really confused. Well, now you got me really confused. Dad, I just really` Well, now you got I really need a home, you know, of my own. And a home is the most important thing, right? And a home is the most important thing, right? Yeah, yeah. Home and family. And a home is the most important thing, right? Yeah, and family. So, um, do you still have it? Oh, I'll have to have a look and see. Could've spent it on the gee-gees, you know. Could've spent it on the gee-gees, you know. (LAUGHS) Oh, I hope not. Could've spent it on the gee-gees, you know. Here we are, safe and sound. Here we are, safe and sound. Thank you, Dad. And we still don't say Here we are, safe and sound. And we still don't say anything to Mum, right? And we still don't say anything to Mum, right? No. No, no, not a word. Shh. Shh. There you are. Shh. There you are. Um, uh, teatime, is it? If you can call it that. WHISPERS: Thank you, Dad. Wheat-free, meat-free, gluten-free. Wonder what's left? Uh, that looks like seaweed. Oh, it's kale. Oh, it's kale. Oh. Oh, it's kale. Oh. Mm. Oh, it's kale. Anna? Oh, it's kale. Anna? Mm? You look different. Is that a new top? Oh! Um, I didn't buy it. Someone at work lent it to me. No, it's more than that. You've got make up on, haven't you? You've got make up on, haven't you? LAUGHTER Yes, I have. Yes, I have. It suits you. Yes, I have. It suits you. Oh, thank you. Yes, I have. It suits you. Has something happened? Yes, actually, Mum. I have chosen change. Sometimes in life when you really want something, you just have to reach out and... and` and` and grab it with both hands, just like that. with both hands, just like that. Right on, Anna. Right on. That's beans, isn't it? That's beans, isn't it? BOTH: Beans, beans, make you fart. ALL: The more you fart, the better you feel, so have some beans with every meal. DULCIANA'S 'ABOVE THE CLOUDS' DULCIANA'S 'ABOVE THE CLOUDS' # Big, bright morning. # Somewhere else is calling. Somewhere new is waiting. # Happy to be going, # pack my bags and be... # above the clouds. # Above the clouds. #