Captions by Kristin Williams. Edited by Antony Vlug. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2019 (PLAYFUL MUSIC) (BELL TOLLS) (CURIOUS MUSIC) Today I am teaching Fehi and Takapari how to dress a tupapaku. I just want us to be able to go through ` both Kaiora and I ` and work with you on the words you're saying, the techniques you're using while you're dressing a body with the family. And Kaiora will be the family, and you're talking with her as you're dressing. And today the tupapaku... is me. So when we` So we're` So, I'm on the table now. We've got the wife here. So, you wanna take the socks? Mm-hm. Yeah? So, just explain to the wife that we're gonna dress her husband and we're gonna start from his feet. So, we're gonna put his undies on, his socks on, his trousers... In the real world, you don't really get to practise, you know. So I'd rather my staff make all the mistakes or ask all the questions whilst they're dressing me. And then as you do that, I'll lift his feet to make it easier for you. Oh, thank you. And then just pull down, all the way down, as far as you can. Nice. And then all the way up. His feet smell nice. Do they? Yeah. Well, that's good, then. Aren't they? (CHUCKLES) Oh, that's nice, honey. (GIGGLES) (CHUCKLES) Dressing your first body, or the first family you've ever looked after, can be confronting. Lean down. I freaked out when I first touched a dead body, because at the marae, you know, growing up, you will only see face and you hongi, and that's about as close as you get. But for the tupapaku where you're assisting a family to dress, it's... you've got the whole body ` toes, hands and, you know. And you even have to deal with placing breasts into bras, and so that was like, oh, wow. But it's something you do. We're gonna pull the jacket through his arms, as far down as possible as you can. All the way down. All the way down. I'd normally get my wife to lie on the dressing table, and we'd dress her, just so that I can be there as a hands-on to help show them different ways. Ah, but my wife is having a baby, and I don't want her on the dressing table with our pepi there. I just want to have that, um, separation for now. Those are beautiful. Those are nice shoes. Thank you, dear. And it's so hard to choose which shoes he would love to wear` Mm. ...as his final pair. He has so many of them. Expensive too. (SCOFFS) Oh. Can we just dress the... put the shoes on? When I die, I'd like to choose` Well, prior to my death, um, I would like to choose what I wear, but it will probably be left up to my wife. I wouldn't know what to choose. I... honestly wouldn't know what shoes to choose or even suit. Make him wear it. Do that. It's the last time you're gonna do that. It is the last time I'm gonna do it. Is that` Is that what you normally do if you put his shoes on? Yeah, I just hammer it in there. Oh, there you go. There you go. She probably won't get it right, (SCOFFS) but... I'm dead, I suppose. (PLAYFUL MUSIC) (GENTLE MUSIC) We're going to the Auckland Domestic Airport, and we're going to uplift the matua who passed away down in Dunedin, where he lived. Mr Rapata is a 91-year-old kaumatua, and he was prepared by a local funeral home in Dunedin and been sent via air to us here in Auckland so that he can make his way back to his final resting place in Te Hapua in the Far North. What I see when we're unpackaging Mr Rapata is the cardboard and the transportation pallet is wet. Are you all right to take his feet, e hoa, up on to this trolley, eh? All right. You all right, Foliki? Yeah. Yeah? We're gonna go up and over. One, two, three, up. And... down we go. Fantastic. In Maoridom, with the casket being wet, ah, and the rain happening as he was taken off the aircraft, we call it a tohu ` he tohu aroha. Ah, you know, it's a sign of love and, um, again, he tohu, ah, na te rangi. So the` the tears. Ko nga roimata e heke mai i te rangi. The tears of the heavens are falling upon him, and most probably because he's nearer to home and he's nearly home. (SOMBRE VIOLIN MUSIC) Oh, kia ora, Matua. Mr Rapata looks beautiful. He looks very regal for a 91-year-old matua. And he's got these beautiful blankets on him, which is very personal, you know. It just adds to the whole look. (GENTLE MUSIC) There is a problem. There is some staining around, uh, Mr Rapata ` his white shirt. Some things you can get away with, but, ah, with a white shirt, it's quite obvious. And so I need to try and get this stain out or replace the shirt. ('VOILA' BY N.E.R.D. ft. GUCCI MANE & WALE) # They think I'm magician # Voila, voila # They think I know magic # Voila, voila # They think I go, "Abracadabra" # Leave me, come back in something different # Oh, mamma, voila, voila # You are a magician # Voila, voila # You can make it happen # Voila, voila # They think I go, "Abracadabra" # Leave me, come back as something different... # * Kia ora, matua, ano. Kei te whakapai to hate kia ataahua to hanga mo to iwi e tatari mai nga mou. Ne. Ana. Wahi paruparu ki konei. The stain is just some seepage from where the incision was made for embalming, and so, um, these things do happen. I wonder, have we got another shirt in our` Ask the whanau, cos it might be best if we just put another one on. Can I have that warm cloth? Just have a look in that cupboard, e hoa. Matua, we're just gonna see if we've got any more clean white shirts. We might be better to put a new one on you. I'm making the situation worse than what it is. All this smudging. I'm trying really hard to get the stain out of the shirt that he's got on` his own shirt, just so we can keep it, um, but it's not working. Oh, yeah, what size is that one, e hoa? 46. Oh, is there a smaller one? That` That's my size, Matua. I'll talk to your wife and ask her if it's all right if I change your shirt, eh? Mr Rapata's wife is happy for us to change his shirt, so we'll go ahead and change it. Just on that chair over there, e hoa. (GENTLE MUSIC) And these photos. Oh, it must be his mokopuna. Look at that. Beautiful. That's all right. Matua, we're just going to lift you on to the dressing table, eh? We're just gonna... break... I have spare shirts in the dressing room for this reason. There we go. Nice clean shirt. We have put the new shirt on Mr Rapata, and, in fact, it feels and looks better. And so we're very, very happy and pleased with that. He's all ready to be presented and given back to his family. (CHAPEL ATTENDEES SING) (ALL SING IN MAORI) (EMOTIVE MUSIC) One of the kaumatua that is here today, he's paying tribute to Mr Rapata, and he's paying tribute in an exquisite way. The Maori language he's using, along with the English language is just amazing. It's poetic. It's metaphorical. It's just` It reminds me of how beautiful our reo Maori really is. (EMOTIVE MUSIC) Mr Rapata is on his final journey home, and I am certain that when he gets home, it'll be the same. People will come to pay their respects. There will be kaumatua there to korero to him and his family, ah, cos he was well respected and a 91-year-old kaumatua of that iwi. (CURIOUS MUSIC) When I walk into the funeral home in the morning, the first thing I, sort of, do is greet everyone good morning and then have a sniff, um, just to see what's happening. And that's, sort of, an indication whether the place has had a clean, ah, or it needs a clean. How did the midwife go? Oh, she's good. She wants to see us on Monday. Francis is a neat freak. He's a clean freak. He's, um... every-little-detail freak. (HUMS) I can see a stain here. I'll just... Oh. ...get it out, and it's all good. OK. Stains, marks and smells drive me crazy. I have on speed dial a carpet cleaner. Oh, see, a lot more over here. (CLICKS TONGUE) Today,... my nose has detected a foul odour somewhere in the lounge, and it's hard to point out where it is. So that's` that's my job, is to find out where it is and what it is. (SNIFFS) I'm the pregnant one. I'm supposed to smell stuff, but I can't. We're gonna sniff it out. Mm. No, no, no. Just smell this, this pot plant. Huh? Cos I've got a runny nose. I'm sure it is. Nah. No, wait. I'll smell this again. The soil. No. It's not this one either. Those are fake, so it won't be those. I don't... It's just really... We've had this bad odour at the front part of our funeral home, and he just doesn't seem to pick up the scent, but everyone else is starting to smell it. And then he wants me to come out and see exactly which point on the carpet is the smell. It stinks, Francis. Just get the carpet cleaners in. It's all right in here. I think I know where it is. Hey. Fehi... Hey. Mm? There's a smell here. Underneath there ` the mould. (SNIFFS) It's here. It's the kapeta. It's wet ` gone right through. Look at it. Come here. You can smell it right here. (SNIFFS) It's ero. Oh my goodness. No, but I` It's real ero. ...I don't find it in here. I mean, that looks bad, but... I can smell it. OK, so there's there. That's one. That's one smell. Fiona does have a good nose, um, but this time, I think she's a little bit off. See, it's more now, eh? Oh, it's getting worse. Yes. I think it's here. Mm. It's behind the fridge, eh? Mm. It's here, behind here. Yeah. It's really bad. Look at this mess over here. Fehi? Now, milk, of course, spilt milk ` there's your odour. (SIGHS) We've located the smell now, and so Fehi's gonna get in there with her disinfectant, hot water and mop and gonna take care of things. (ACCORDION MUSIC) (POIGNANT STRING MUSIC) So just very quickly, e hoa, we are due at the house at what time? 10. At 10. It's a misty morning, and I'm at Henderson with Scottie. Ka pai. We are due at the cemetery at what time? Uh, 1 o'clock. So... the service goes from 11 till 12.30` Mm-hm. Today we have Jeremiah Frenswa in our care. The doves and the balloons will both meet us at the cemetery. OK. Jeremiah was a 9-year-old boy, um, who passed away from an epileptic seizure. How are you feeling about today? I'm so sorry. I'll be fine. I'll be fine as far as doing my role is concerned. Mm. But it probably won't stop me from breaking down. So, Jeremiah is a twin. Two years ago, his brother died from the same thing. Both Matty and Jeremiah were severely autistic and suffered severe health complications throughout their life. During Matty's funeral, Jeremiah would hang around me, pull on my suit, poke tongues at me, come up and give me a high five. And we, kind of, connected even throughout that whole time of, kind of, working with the family. And so... to have to serve twice... To have to serve the family twice ` the twin to the brother that I buried two years ago ` it's heartbreaking. (GENTLE PIANO MUSIC) When a child dies, you know, straightaway, it hits here for me. As a parent, you don't wanna be feeling this. You know, you don't want to be burying your own children. You want your children to bury you. You ready, e hoa? Mm? Are we ready? What are you ` 10 past? Children's funerals are deeply emotional, are deeply, ah,... sad in the raw, uh, grief you feel, but you just have to make sure you just hold up there for your family. I know that this will be emotional for my wife as well, uh, just because we've got children the same age. We've got a son the same age as him. Sissy, are you able to, kind of, direct to get flowers and stuff` Yeah, yeah. ...done? Just so we can get those out of the way... Yeah. ...before we close the lid. OK. And then I'll just check with Mum if she's ready to go. My wife is wonderful in terms of the caring and preparation, um, and just being there. Cos that's all you` they really need you for is just to be there. All right? We'll keep him steady, eh? Come on down. (SOLEMN MUSIC) Today, I'm totally in that space of making sure that I get done what needs to be done and that the family are able to celebrate their sons, um, being together and uniting again ` celebrating their life. (EMOTIVE MUSIC) Jeremiah's final resting place will be at Waikumete Cemetery, directly opposite his brother, actually. Yeah. Feet to feet. (MOTORCYCLE ENGINES REV) (EMOTIVE MUSIC CONTINUES) This boy is going back to his twin. As sad as this is, we know that the parents are happy that the twins can be together. (SLOW PIANO MUSIC) There is a moment there where I saw Mum... having her moment, and then I just... I take it in, and I'm grateful for everything that I have still. Don't let it go. They'll let you know when to let it go, OK? They'll let us know when, OK? (GASPS) Oops. There's one going right now. Whoops. The balloons have arrived on time, and the doves have arrived on time, so everything has fallen into place. (POIGNANT MUSIC) I believe that twins are one soul, one heart. Jeremiah must've felt so lost as a twin, not to have your other half, you know? I just want to say thank you for letting me be part of your special day, sharing this day with your son. I had the opportunity to have a korero with the mum on the way to the funeral service, and if I` I can just` you know, if I can say, she is one strong wahine. She is beautiful, very strong. Thanks, Fade. And congratulations. Yeah. It's all right. So I'm... (BREATHES DEEPLY) Yeah, I'm` I'm feeling for her... today, I am. (CURIOUS MUSIC) (PLAYFUL MUSIC) I love cleaning products a lot. After a service in the chapel or in the lounge or if we've just had a family leave and we've got another family coming in straight after, I have a special can of this white snow which gives off a beautiful fragrance. (HUMS) We just spray it, and the place, sort of, turns into a winter wonderland for about five minutes, then it all disappears, leaving a pleasant odour. If we just` (SNIFFS) There's a really pooey smell. Can we open this? Someone's had a poo. Can we open this up for a few moments, dear? Just let some of this good air in. Is that all right? Does this` Does this` Run the vacuum through here, eh? Foliki used to be my favourite. But Fehi, her and that vacuum, I love her so much. She's amazing. It's... Like, I don't` It's not... It's not a sickness I have. It's just that I want everyone that comes into this place to feel like they were the only ones ever here.