Do I get to just go like this? Testing ` one, two, three` don't do that. Scene 69, take one ` common slate. (PERCUSSIVE MUSIC) Did you mean one for all? Whack it. Good whack. What do you call that for a bloody direction? TOM SAINSBURY: Hi, sweeties. JOHN CLARKE: Uh, yeah, gidday. GINETTE MCDONALD: My name's Lynn, and I come from Tawa. (LAUGHTER) Www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2019 We both had to audition for Shortland Street, which, uh... Everyone was auditioning for doctors and nurses. Yeah. We were, like` Every fortnight, there was this` We'd just left university. It was the most ridiculous thing. Us wearing lab coats in an audition and having no chance, and then, I remember coming back from my audition, and going, 'Let's be a band, man. That's way cooler.' Just to avoid humiliation. That's how our careers have` (LAUGHS) that's how we've found it. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) It's my very great pleasure to introduce to the stage New Zealand's fourth most popular folk parody duo. Please put your hands together for Flight of the Conchords! Unfortunately for musical duos, the world standard has been set, and you'll never get that good. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, they've ruined it for us. They've ruined it for everyone! # Yeah. LIVI REIHANA: They have a real specific type of humour... # Definitely. ...that hadn't really been seen. LAURA DANIEL: Flight of the Conchords were such a huge part of my life. # It's obvious. Yeah. It's like, 'Yeah, these guys are great. I love them. I'll marry one one day.' # Tonight, # we're gonna make love. # You know how I know? # Cos it's Wednesday, (LAUGHTER) # and Wednesday night is the night we usually make love. I was a TV kid. Yeah. Yeah, me too. English comedies ` Smith and Jones, The Two Ronnies. The first one that really had me crying laughing was Blackadder. Blackadder, The Young Ones. Watching that made me laugh as much as laughing with my friends at school. I mean, I know I liked Cookie Monster. A lot of time in front of the TV. It was after school, through until dinner, through until bedtime. If you were sick, then there was even more TV. So people talk often about the detrimental effects of a lot of TV, and they're possibly all true, but the plus side is you... You can write TV. You'll be able to write TV if you're familiar with it. Yeah. # You turn to me and say something like, # 'I gotta go to bed. # 'I've got work in the morning.' # But I know what you mean. (LAUGHTER) # You mean, 'Aw, yeah. # 'It's business time. # 'It's business time.' BOTH IN FALSETTO: # It's business` # It's business time. # Bret was sort of someone who I would massively look up to. Would have met hit playing cricket with him when we were 5 years old, and he, sort of, wasn't the most focused cricket player. He's like a trained dancer as well. So he's busting out ballet moves and picking daisies and stuff, and he was part of The Black Seeds ` a reggae band. # Something so true is what I get from you. # So I sort of would know Bret on a couple of fronts. Wherever we were, we'd sort of crop up together. And then, I suppose Bret and I fell more into the comedy scene and fringe festivals. We dug a grave in the lawn, and we buried Dai Henwood in the grave. (LAUGHS) It was pretty terrifying. That was a non-speaking part. (LAUGHS) That was one of his first jobs. The support unit in Wellington was so strong. Wellington in the mid-90s was a really exciting time for theatre. There was lots going on. There was really great theatres supporting exciting work. There was the 'Young & Hungry' program that was on at BATS that we were all involved in. And BATS ` this theatre that we're in now ` was this sort of hub of gigs. And yeah, it was constantly one of us. It kind of felt like a dingy lounge room where you could really just be yourself. So we basically all lived there. The first time I came in here and saw a play, it was exciting. I thought, 'I want to do that.' JACKIE VAN BEEK: It was so inclusive, and really embraced all of us kinda rag-tag. This energy of performance is just bubbling away, and no one knows what the future's gonna look like. Comedy, drama. And Jo Randerson did lots of plays that had music. I think there's something about being from a smaller place that means you can sort of build a bit of an energy up ` a bit of a weirder energy. Weird sketch shows that weren't necessarily funny for other people, but we enjoyed them! Me and Bret did shows with other people. Me and Taika were doing shows. Taika and Bret did shows. You were just like, 'I wanna do this thing.' It just felt like we'd us kind of bump in to each other and make very fast, firm, loyal friendships, and then put on a show. There was a comedy and improv club. It's, um, at Victoria University. They were spending time at university. I don't think they properly did university. So they were in a revue. I remember finding Bret really funny, and he had a style I hadn't seen before of being really subtle. You and your buddies from school all have this sort of quiet... We all have similar styles` sense of humour, yeah ` style of comedy. That was our playground comedy style. We just happened to be thrown into this group of dudes, and it was, yeah, me, Jemaine, Taika, David and Carey. Like a boy band. Yeah. So we had five of us in naked suits with guitars in front of us. We'd done in in Wellington. It had gone really well. We thought we'd go to Auckland to the Comedy Festival, and that was` People didn't even know if we really had a show. Jemaine Clement ` they though that was a made-up name. (LAUGHS) Yeah, when I turned up at the Comedy Festival office, they were like, 'You're a real person!' 'Yeah.' We had a patchy ten minutes, right? Couple of funny bits, couple of lolz, song at the end. People loved it. (BOTH LAUGH) We can learn a few tricks of how to, like, put together a show. Yeah. Then, we're like, 'What if it's all songs?' Yeah. Also, Sugar & Spice ` they're from Auckland, who are also theatrical, who are brilliant to see live, they're a big influence. They were really brave. Yeah. Really electrifying to see. # Two, two. I didn't know how to make jokes. # Two? Two. # Didn't know what punchlines were or how to end stories. You know, we would literally be about to go on stage to do something, and we'd go, 'Oh, fuck. How does this end?' It was different. (LAUGHTER) Not all their jokes worked, but you loved that they were doing it. Even if we sucked, there's pretty much a guarantee you would never have seen anything like it. And we were playing down in the basement, doing 'So You're A Man', and we went to see this guy, Bill Bailey, and I remembered just looking around, going, '(SCOFFS) Wow. 'This is like a rock concert, but it's comedy.' Yeah. That's definitely part of the DNA of, you know, what we headed in to doing. We do some hip-hop sort of sounds, and we also do folk sounds. (BOTH LAUGH) So, you know... There's some hip-hop folk stuff. Hip-hop/folk crossover. At the same time, there was this bar in Cuba St. We started running Indigo Comedy Wednesdays. Indigo was the name of the bar, and it was every Wednesday, so it was all in the title. Beep-ing bricks! I think we were asked to be the band to play music while people were coming in. I misunderstood that someone had asked us to be the band. But then, we were on stage where the stand-ups were. They did the club a couple of times, and they were good, so they headlined the club. And I remember that you got $100 to close, which was heaps of money then. It wasn't very cool to do comedy in New Zealand. Like, I was used to playing in bands, which were cool. Such a difference. People were excited to be there. (LAUGHS) The audience were people that were having a cool time. They were cool people. You go to the comedy club ` it's the weirdest people, and, like` The audience and the performer. The audience and the performers. It's like misfits. It's like this room full of misfits. RAYBON KAN: There was a flavour to the audience appreciation. It was just a quality of laughter that was very different ` an appreciation. It just won people over. I swear, six months later, if I put their names on a poster, there'd be 200 people in the place. And I was still handing them $100, and I was like, 'We need to probably do a door split now, eh?' (SNICKERS) Cos this is not really fair. That was huge. I remember telling them, like, 'Man, you guys are going to be superstars!' And they're like, 'Don't be silly, Tarun.' (APPLAUSE) They were trying to come up with a name. Concorde had just had that big crash. Yeah. So some people wondered if we were` That was our Shihad type problem. Yes! (LAUGHS) It was like, 'No, no, no. We start... 'No. We named it after a toilet.' (LAUGHS) When you're present at a moment in history, you don't realise it's history, cos it's just guys coming up with a terrible name for something. We needed to come up with a name for one of those gigs on a Thursday night. At Indigo. Both Bret and I are really attracted to things that sound bad. Like, even we're aware that our act sounds bad ` a folk parody duo ` and that's why we chose it ` cos it makes us laugh to describe it. So then we wanted something that was` I don't know why, but it was 'Flydog', or something kind of sounding kinda... To add a bit of, um... grandeur to it. Yeah ` grandeur. I went to the toilet. He went to the toilet and came back. (LAUGHS) I went` We were playing that night in a few hours. We hadn't had a name, but the toilet ` it was a standing event at the toilet ` and I just read it on the top, came back. 'Conchord? The Conchords?' I think it was Bret that said, 'How's this ` Flight of the Conchords, 'but it's 'chords' like guitar chords?' Like, he had to explain it. And I was like... '(LAUGHS) That's a terrible name. (LAUGHS)' 'OK. Just one night. Just for tonight, we'll be called Flight of the Conchords, 'until we think of something better.' But we didn't come up with one. # This is Bowie to Bowie. Can you hear me out there, man? (GIRL LAUGHS) # This is Bowie back to Bowie. I read you loud and clear, man. BOTH: # Ooh, yeah, man! # One of the reasons that Flight of the Conchords is so successful is that, musically, they're so strong. Particularly Bret at the beginning, but ultimately, Jemaine caught up. You know, they just brought this level of musicality to the songs. I like to just explore the emotional side of myself in music. # Lives are like # delicate pencils. # A lot of our, um, material was about awkwardness or sadness. It was quite different. Really didn't suit corporate events. When you've got a scripted thing... And the world. We had sort of set up a world of a band struggling, but I remember doing this Air New Zealand corporate event` Yeah, then we really would be struggling (!) We were just sitting at the end of their room, with, like, 12 people at their corporate, you know, conference table, looking at us. And another one we did for a cricket team, and they were asking us to play The Gambler. I remember` Oh, yeah. They thought we were just a band. They thought we were a terrible band. They thought our Bowie song was just a Bowie song they didn't know. (LAUGHS) Luckily, we started going to the Edinburgh Festival... Yeah. ...where we found our audience. Oh, yeah! Yeah! Edinburgh, here we come! (JET ENGINE HOWLS) JEMAINE: Edinburgh's a tough arena. There's a lot of shows. There's about 3000 shows. I mean, I'm from Masterton. You can just imagine what it's like to be` first, we got off in Heathrow. And, uh, Masterton and Heathrow, they have some similarities. Uh... like... We all fell in love with the idea of never leaving there. We want to be able to stay a lot longer. Legally. (IMITATES HORSE WHINNYING) In the name of the Lord, we demand your castle! 'I'm there. The Conchords were there. Um... Naked Samoans. We were all in these hideous, tiny cave venues. I was in Cave Three, which was the haunted one where you could only fit 12 people in, and they were in Cave One. This is like the backstage entrance. That's where we started getting good, playing every night. Some people would take a day off, but we wouldn't take any days off, because those days off are when there's no shows on except our show. Yeah, right. Yeah. Comedians knew not to miss their shows. ANNOUNCER: Flight of the Conchords! Everyone ` 'Shit, I've done my show. We've gotta get down and see the Conchords. 'These guys will blow your mind.' # Love is like a roll of sellotape. # Love is like sellotape, oh-oh. BOTH: # It's real good # for making two things one. # (LAUGHTER) They liked it, and they told other people. They'd tell people in their audiences, and by the end to Edinburgh, our audiences were full. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) I mean, what do you say? It doesn't` I don't think it gets much better than that. I mean, my 21st was good, but I don't think it gets much better. Och aye! When I say 'Flight', you say 'of the Conchords'! Flight! Flight! 2003 was when they went from... comedic acclaim to mainstream. That was the year they got BBC radio show. The rest is sort of history. I remember as a family, we would listen to their Radio 4 BBC series when they played it on National Radio every week. BBC had heard about our show, cos all the executives go to all the gigs. And Rhys was just there. He immediately said, 'Look, we've been approached by BBC to create a pilot for a radio series. 'Do you want to be involved?' We wanted this character based on one of our real managers ` this New Zealand manager who doesn't know about the scene at all. He even asked Rhys, like, 'Do you know any New Zealand actors that could play the part of our manager?' And he's like, 'What about me?' And I said, 'Well, you know, I... 'My schedule's pretty tight here, mate' Yeah, I remember thinking he wasn't right for our show. You know, I can't` he said, 'Well, look ` have you played a band manager before?' I said, 'Well, no, but I certainly can hark back from my military days, 'and I remember my bosses from the BBQ Factory, 'cos I think it's sort of an authoritative-type role, isn't it?' And then he started doing this voice. Um... NASALLY: Hello. (LAUGHS) Hey, guys! We were like, 'No, no. We're not looking for that. We're looking for someone subtle. 'They have to play on the level that we're playing at ` downplayed.' And then we got him to do this pilot. Will, his name was, from the BBC, just said, 'OK, I'm gonna start recording. You guys just chat. 'Whatever you wanna do.' And I'm like, 'What are we doing here?' Jemaine goes, 'Well, you're the manager, so you start things off. We'll have a meeting. 'It's our first band meeting.' And I` (CLEARS THROAT) So I said, 'OK. All right. 'All right. Here we are. This is our first meeting.' And so it just came naturally to me to do a roll call. RECORDING: All right ` band meeting. All present. Bret? Yes. Jemaine? Here. IMITATING JEMAINE: 'Yeah, present. You know I'm here. You can see I'm here.' I think he started, you know, straight away into that kind of stuff, and I said, 'Ideas. Ideas for success. Who's got`' And we just completely improvised. We ad-libbed a meeting. The first time he did it, playing that voice just in his normal voice, was so hilarious, and he still... You know, I still work with him. Every time I work with him, I cry with laughter. OK, guys. Band meeting. Bret? Yep. Jemaine? Jemaine? Well, ye` obviously. Yeah. Well, you're here. Yeah. Well, I'm here, so why do I have to say that I'm here? Well, it's just so I've got it all written down, you know? Yeah, but I'm just here. So if you can see me here, it's` 'Murray ` present'. See? Even I do it. It's just` it's how we do it. INTERVIEWER: Do they get it over there the way that we get it here? Yeah. And they get some other level. They think we're, um, making fun out of New Zealanders, which we aren't. They just think we are. So we'll let them think we are. But we're just being ourselves. When we were doing a TV show in America, and people in New Zealand go, 'Do they get it, though?' Like, they gave us a TV show. (LAUGHS) Of course they get it! Um, you know, it's more of a question if people in New Zealand get it. They didn't give us a TV show here. There was a New Zealand accent that felt genuine, felt real. And so, when Jemaine and Bret did their show, it could have only worked set in New York. You suddenly realise, 'Oh, yeah. Of course. We're funny because we're so, kind of, small about how we react to things.' You know, and then, they just went 'Kabloomy'. Flight of the Conchords! IN ROBOTIC VOICE: The future is quite different to the present. IN ROBOTIC VOICE: Yes, what with there being no stairs and all. PENNY ASHTON: It's like 3000 people. People are fighting to get in the door. We're all singing the songs. No more humans. BOTH: Finally, robotic beings rule the world. # The humans are dead. That dream of, like, 'Oh, I'll go to America and they'll, you know, 'they'll see me and I'll get a TV show.' You go, 'Wow, that dream happened for them.' Yeah. First comedians ever to charter a plane. The world is changing. Watching the Conchords go on Colbert. It was a worldwide hit, but still in such a New Zealand way. # Affirmative. I poked one. It was dead. # And I was talking to Bret, and I was like, 'This is nuts!' And he was like, 'Isn't it? This is nuts.' MURRAY: Action! I don't think that's a proper camera, Murray. Yeah ` a mobile phone camera. I think it's mostly a phone. This is not what they'd use on a music video, though. Yeah, but it's what we're using, isn't it? I mean, it's all I've got. I think the thing about Jemaine, and Bret as well, is that they exist outside fame. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) You're actually a bit too loud. If you could just do it` if you could just say that again, but a bit quieter. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Are you ready` We're not really used to it. Are you ready, Texas? (CHEERING) Should just be like a, 'Yeah.' Just like that. Are you ready, Texas? CROWD, FLATLY: Yeah. That feels more like home. That's better. (LAUGHTER) They're not at all impressed by it, and they're not seduced by it. So they come home and they live in New Zealand. NEWSREADER: How many people can you fit in one small video store? When Flight of the Conchords are around, the answer is 'as many as possible.' We picked a very small shop so that we'd look really popular. (LAUGHS) Hundreds of fans came, saw, and were conquered by the Conchords. I think most New Zealanders love them ` something to be proud of. I'm looking after the Wellingtonian of the Year award at the moment that Jemaine and I co-share. We get one year` one year each. That means I get the Emmy, I guess. The Emmy? Oh, the Grammy. (LAUGHS) Whoa! Sorry. Getting ahead of ourselves. Far out. Optimistic. I get them mixed up. Everyone gets them mixed up, including me. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Thank you. Thank you. Uh, we're Flight of the Conchords, eh? That's right. Yep. (SCATTERED CHEERING) This is Bret, and I'm Jemaine. We're from New Zealand, and, um` It's very, um, exciting to be, um, here, in, um,... America. Quite a buzz. (LAUGHTER) Um... Yeah. We're actually very popular back in New Zealand. I remember once talking to Jemaine, going, 'Oh, that song sounds like a Front Lawn song.' He's like, 'Yeah, yeah. We were listening to that album heaps at that time. (LAUGHS)' (CHUCKLES) Do you guys want a cup of tea? No, they're working. Working? Yeah. What do you mean? They're just standing around. WHISPERS: They're from TV. Oh. Are they friends of yours? They want to know about the group. Which group? The Front Lawn. That's our group! Yeah. The Front Lawn, The Conchords ` they're not blokey. There's a sort of air of` awkwardness is the word for it, I think. You're actually worried for what's going to happen to these characters on stage. Hey! It's been years! Don McGlashan, who can come across as quite a serious chap, is actually a very humorous guy. Good to see ya! You're looking, uh,... pretty good. You're looking good too! I like your tie. Thanks very much. I just got it! You know, there's that one party in Oamaru which was, like, a famous 'How you doing? Haven't seen you for long. How you doing?' You know, that song. God, eh? How you doing? I haven't seen you for... It's quite a while, isn't it? Yeah! What are you up to these days? Oh, keeping busy. How about you? Oh, yeah. (LAUGHS) God. Well, what do you know? I ended up ushering for The Front Lawn. So I'd be up there every night, watching it every night. Were you like, 'One day, I'll do something like this'? Yeah. I did love it, and I must have been 9 or 10` I don't know how old I was, but 'Gidday. How you going? 'Haven't seen you for... oh, quite a while.' All that stuff. Yeah, yeah. We think about, you know` It's all, like,... It's a big influence on our song, 'Jenny'. # Hello. # Hi. (LAUGHTER) # Hello, man sitting in the park. # I just said 'hi'. # Just the observation of human relationships. It's just lovely, but you can see where it came from. I don't really describe what we do as comedy, anyway, because we do a whole series of things. And basically, we tell stories about the world around us, and some of that's funny. We're keeping that New Zealand flavour, totally. There's, you know, no attempt to adapt. And it was a bit of a surprise to have Australians coming up and saying that they really liked hearing about Oamaru, and they really liked hearing about specifically Kiwi references. We'd like to make a record and, you know, get our songs on to a record at some point. And start a line of soft toys ` I'd like to do that too. Soft toys ` yeah. Hair product. (COUGHS) And a cookery book, I think. This is still one of my most treasured possessions. Original Front Lawn t-shirt. It's like a dress on me. I remember seeing The Front Lawn for the first time ` might have been 1988 or 1989 ` which set off a lifelong crush on both Don McGlashan and Harry Sinclair, which lasts to this day. They were both so charismatic, and Don McGlashan's got such a gorgeous voice. JESSE GRIFFIN: Just toweringly inventive, you know? With, like, The Reason for Breakfast, where they were sitting next to each other at the breakfast table with all the things on the table... (HUMS TUNEFULLY) What about the butter? Aren't you gonna put any butter on it? Oh, on the other side? No. No. The butter goes on first. You know` NICK BOLLINGER: It was a new form. I'd never seen anything like it. It comes out of that thing of trying to define who we are. The Front Lawn were doing that quite consciously. What do you mean, 'Is this the way we usually do it?' This is the way everyone does it. The people next door, your mother, the Prime Minister. (TAPPING ON MUG) They kind of brought the idea of story ` that the culture that was all around you was there to be used. (HUMS TUNEFULLY) You're thinking about it too much. You can't afford to think about it. You've just got to... (VOCALISES) # It's no big deal; breakfast has started. The songs told little stories ` little funny bits, but a whole world and a whole scene in these little bubbles. - (BOTH VOCALISE) - (RHYTHMIC TAPPING PERCUSSION) (VOCALISES) # Isn't this great? # See all the things we've got. # See this bottle, see this plate. CAL WILSON: I couldn't believe that you could make so much out of nothing,... and... it blew my mind. It just blew my mind. (VOCALISES) # That's what breakfast means to me. They were making these shows where the fourth wall had kind of disappeared, you know? At a time when there wasn't, like, anything like that happening, you know? BOTH: # We are the people # who eat toast and butter and jam. # People in other places # just wouldn't understand. # We are the people # who drink milk with our tea. # People in other places # don't do it like you and me. (RHYTHMIC CLATTERING) # Hey! # Hey! Whoa! You know, they're clearly inspired by them. I mean, they're the sons of The Front Lawn, really, in many ways. (GENTLE ACOUSTIC MUSIC) We'd just started playing Edinburgh. Channel 4 had offered us to develop a show, and there was TVNZ, and, like, 'Well, it's more likely we'll get the New Zealand one, surely.' Cos there's so many comedians in the UK, and also, we'll get to stay at home. We made the wrong choice, and, you know, we should have known. We've seen the things that TVNZ make. They're nothing like what we do, and we should have just gone for the English one. It was ridiculous. But, fortunately, TVNZ didn't like it. Um, to me, it's an absolute all-time low in everything ` the interpretation, the writing, the arrangement, and, really, the less that I say about it, the better. So a lot of people talk about how crazy TVNZ were to reject their TV show that was successful on HBO. But, for the record, what we pitched to TVNZ wasn't the Flight of the Conchords TV show they did on HBO. I give this group the highest marks, and, um, I think they are world class. It was a lot weirder than our sitcom in America. We were gonna be in every New Zealand band through history. So it was a mockumentary about if the Flight of the Conchords had been involved in every genre of New Zealand music. As you remember from our first programme last week, we had three new songs and three new faces. I think we should go straight on to the first one. It was written by Bret Chang and Jemaine Clemaine. It's called 'Bowies In Space'. They are Flight of the Conchords. It was in Avalon Studios, which was the old TV studios in Lower Hutt, and the cool thing about that is it's like a museum. So we wanted to make things look like how they were shot in the 70s. Didn't need to do anything! Nah. We used the same equipment they still had. (LAUGHS) # This is Bowie to Bowie. # Do you hear me out there, man? # This is Bowie back to Bowie. I read you loud and clear, man. BOTH: # Ooh, yeah, man! # Your signal's weak on my radar screen. How far out are you, man? # Well, I'm pretty far out. # That's pretty far out, man! # So we placed them in archive footage, and then, they're involved in the punk scene in the 70s, and they had a synth-pop band in the early 80s. So they were part of the Howard Morrison Quartet, or the Howard Morrison Sextet. The idea was that the Howard Morrison Quartet was the Howard Morrison Sextet, and we were on there, but we were cut, cos New Zealand TV didn't want the word 'sextet' on TV. (LAUGHS) That's a good, solid joke. (LAUGHS) It's all right! PAUL YATES: So it was a funny idea, and would have been great for them, but it certainly wasn't the idea that they did on HBO. I can hold a grudge. When Bret and I... A TV exec said me and Bret were a bit Wellington when they didn't want to do our show, and when our DVD came out in America, it was the top-selling DVD. I took a screen grab of it, sent it to the studio executive in New Zealand, saying 'Bit Wellington?' It's one of the pettiest things I've done. * The giants of New Zealand show business ` the fabulous Howard Morrison Quartet. ARTHUR BAYSTING: The first time I ever saw the Howard Morrison Quartet, their big hit at the time was 'My Old Man's An All Black'. # Now, here's a story. For once, (LAUGHTER) # you've heard it all before. Gerry Merito, who wrote the song, who wrote the parody, says, 'Fee-fee, fi-fi, fo-fo, fum. Hey, Howard?' And Howard says, 'Yeah? What?' And he says, 'There's no horis in that scrum.' And when he said that word, the whole audience exploded. It was remarkable, and it was, I think,... because it was a Maori saying that word, the word had such power. I thought, 'Wow, that's about much more than just a funny song.' # Well, the All Black team is leaving, and the best of luck to them, # and if they find things tricky, they'll have to play like men, # cos the Springboks will be watching from Transvaal to Cape Town ` # the team that ain't got horis to score their last touchdown. # During the late 1950s and early 1960s, vernacular humour, 45s, and Kiwiana records were a really notable feature of the New Zealand music scene. It became the norm that they sang overseas material. 'My Old Man's An All Black' is actually a steal from a British song. There were a lot of American novelty songs. There were things like The Purple People Eater and The Eggplant That Ate Chicago. Parody songs have always been huge here. MAX CRYER: There was a change when we began to see more of locally composed songs. We had Peter Cape, Rod Derrett, the Howard Morrison Quartet. And best of all, in the humour brigade, we saw locally composed humorous versions. # Don't worry, mate. She'll be right. # New Zealand comedy then was Peter Cape. # You won't worry who's the loser when you meet him down the boozer. # So don't worry, mate. She'll be right. # And Rod Derrett ` 'Rugby, Racing and Beer.' # Because of your great parentage, you've got a national heritage... # ...of rugby, racing and beer. # It went on and on and on, ad infinitum. Rod sent us some material for Saturday Night At Home. It was all New Zealand... semi-satire. He's sort of sending up that 'Kiwi joker' thing. But it's affectionate satire. And he had songs like, uh... Puha and Pakeha. One which I don't know that he'd get away with these days. # Down by the mud pools, once upon a time, in the Land of the Long White Cloud, # the hungry tribesmen gathered for a meeting, and a warrior spoke to the crowd. # 'By golly, boys, I've had enough of this stuff called moa bone stew! # 'If you want to put some meat into the kai that you'll be eating, # 'I've got a new soup for you.' # I call it puha and Pakeha. # Puha and Pakeha. # These days, it would be so un`PC, but he was very observational. He had a great ear. He wrote about hotels, hotel accommodation ` various things. The one I loved was Kiwi Train, because I'd travelled on those trains. Um... what was it now? Nothing compares` (LAUGHS) I must confess, with a trip on a typical Kiwi Express. All aboard! JIM HOPKINS: With humour, the architecture of the language,... # ...struggle and sweat # to push all your suitcases up in the net. ...it takes you by surprise. # You finally make it, sit down, and then, crack! It's like, 'Ooh!' # Suddenly, half of your luggage comes back. # You have the singing over there, and the delivery here. It was so right. And I think if you get something that people go, 'That is so true' about, it's gonna be enjoyable for a lot of people. It's the relatability of it. If you asked us two years ago, 'Are you guys gonna have a song about, 'you know, going to the RSA and continuously getting asked to sign in?' That would be weird. The RSA song is a real-life story ` like, more than you think. # So we went to the RSA in Levin, # and at the door, we met Jim. # Jim was like, 'Have you signed in? # 'Have you signed in? You must sign in.' Like, word for word, basically. Yeah. It wasn't the Levin RSA. We just had to have a town name that rhymed with 'in'. 'Signed in'. # Jim was like, 'Good, # 'cos you must sign in.' There were probably 14 people there, and probably 11 of the people came up and asked us if we'd signed in. Then, they're asking each other if we'd signed in. Yes. It was amazing. # Kevin was like, 'Hey, Evelyn? Uh, William just told me # 'that these girls drinking gin are all signed in.' # Evelyn was like, 'Are you sure? Who signed them in?' # Kevin was like, 'Well, I don't know. I'll ask William.' You fiddle around on the uke, and I played a couple of chords, and Livi was like, 'Wait!' Oh, that's what I do. (LAUGHS) She's like, 'Do that. Do that. Do that.' And she does the hand thing. 'No, no, no. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going.' And then, if I stop, she's like, 'Keep going! Keep going! Keep going!' # Jim was like, 'Yes, Lynn, # 'and William, and Kevin, and Evelyn, and Tim, # and Finn, and Tim, Finn, and Stephen, and Martin... And then sang, like, a couple of lines, and then, we wrote the song in, like, 20 minutes flat just based on exactly how it happened in real life! (LAUGHS) Yeah. # At the going down of the sun, # and in the morning, # we will remember them, # and to sign in. # Lest we forget # to fucking sign in! # That was eight years ago, that photo. VOICEOVER: Fight the signs of ageing with Revitalift by L'Oreal. My skin is looking more like it did back then. Revitalift has helped smooth out my skin. It took away the fine lines and the wrinkles. Revitalift by L'Oreal Paris. * Good evening, and welcome. There was a form of entertainment` in fact, a whole department in the NZBC called 'light entertainment'. It was a mystery! Even the name 'light entertainment', because, obviously, the first thing you thought was, 'Well, what is heavy entertainment?' # If I could look into your mind and see what lies inside... # And this involved singing,... dancing,... and that's about it. You had a big studio with a big, glossy floor, and dancers in odd costumes, some sort of strange modernistic things hanging from the grid. (GENTLE DISCO MUSIC) (VOCALISES) And famous singers at the time, who would say, 'Welcome!' And you'd get half an hour of this, which would be songs you'd always heard before, dancing you'd probably seen before, and that wasn't all that impressive. I mean, and I directed many of those. (APPLAUSE) At a production meeting, Ray and I stood up at the same time, and Sherri Raymond saw him standing next to me, and she said, 'What if you were a ventriloquist doll sitting on Max's knee?' # Where would you be without me, brother? # Just tell me where would you be? # Look at yourself ` you are so dreary. # Oh dearie, oh, me. # At the end of it, you came out, and thought,... 'So that was... 'That's very good! Yes. I enjoyed that.' And that's all the NZBC seemed to want to make in that entertainment field. (LAUGHS MANIACALLY) Good evening. (EERIE PIANO TONE) New Zealand was a very... divided place, and the people running it seemed very, very conservative. They seemed to be against fun. So, yeah. There was a really strong feeling that society needed to be shaken up. And now, the whole process in reverse. (BOUNCY PIANO MUSIC) (BELCHES) Blerta were not conventional comedy as we understand it, but they had great skills, they had great people involved ` Ian Watkin, Bruno Lawrence. (FUNKY JAZZ MUSIC) # When she hit the city, then, she found her man # picking on a guitar. He was Guitar Stan. And they had a bus, and they went all over the country. # Wasn't long before the band and Mary Jane # made it to the big time and the wealth and fame. # Around the corner came the Blerta bus. Then, the front door opened, and Geoff Murphy put his head out and said, 'Where are you guys going?' And we said, 'Downtown.' He says, 'You better get on, then.' And we went to this insane show at the St James Theatre. It was the best party I'd ever been to, and I just went, 'Well, that's what I'm doing.' So I said to Bruno, 'I've got a wizard's act.' I didn't have a wizard's act. They described their theatrics as Dada,... (EXPLOSION BOOMS) ...and that was after the French absurdist sort of thing, and it was absurd. IN FRENCH ACCENT: The art explosion! It went off like a bomb. (CHUCKLES) (EXPLOSION BOOMS) Complete chaos and anarchy and experiment ` pushing the envelope to the music, and everything to outer space, and different every night. It was magical. On really good nights, it was magical. ALL: God! Send down a sign! It's that radical comedy of the British that came through, you know, the Oxbridge comedians that all` Pete and Dud, Monty Python. Hard to say exactly in words what we're trying to do. It's hell of a lot easier to do it. (CHUCKLES) Bruno was always ready to question and challenge and be outrageous. And a lot of that humour crossed over. (TUNEFUL WHISTLING) Red Mole was a mixture of poets and dancers and acrobats and writers and ratbags. It was a bit Blerta-y, you know? Neville was the compere. INTERVIEWER: Neville, how would you describe the show? Very difficult to describe. It's the next best thing to putting a live chicken in your underwear. You know, this new Beehive they've got down in Wellington ` it's got everything. Recreational facilities for MPs, including a sauna. Chances are if you're out in the windy city after midnight, you'll end up here. It's not the highest class place in town, but pass through these doors, and you enter Carmen's World. I saw Red Mole at the Carmen's Balcony. They were amazing. ARTHUR BAYSTING: The atmosphere there was indescribable. Carmen's Balcony was legendary. It was a strip club. (RAUNCHY DISCO MUSIC) REPORTER: Carmen has built her life on the fringe. The world of the drag queen, the stripper, the prostitute, is her world. PA: One more time, let's hear it. Carmen's, there's used to be, honestly, queues around the block. It was always full. From about after a month in, people couldn't get in. The 'full house' sign was there, because it was so different and so magical. I mean, I think it was about having a good time as much as anything. It was always pushing the envelope as to what was acceptable. (DISTORTED GUITAR RIFFING) # Drugs. # Drugs. # Handed out by the folks. # Whenever you're inclined, why not stop and blow your mind # on drugs? # You know, making fun of the institutions, and even, in a sense, making a television program at Avalon was the ultimate blow against the system, because they'd actually infiltrated it. And now, ladies and gentlemen, Carmen is going to give us an exclusive demonstration... ARTHUR BAYSTING: They hadn't seen that mix before. That sense of humour and that comedy was always here, and it was the meaning of the word 'comedy' that changed. (EXPLOSION BOOMS) (FARM ANIMALS BLEAT) LYNDA TOPP: What happened at the beginning of our busking career,... JOOLS TOPP: We were just old` We were hippies and stuff out in the bush. When you're a hippie, you've got to have beer, food supplies, and dog food. That's what we needed, right? Yeah. So we bought the dog food, we got some beer, and then we thought we'd better get some groceries. When we got in the car to go home, the old needle on the thing was showing empty. We didn't have any money left, did we? But we always had the guitar in the back of the car for some reason. So let's just go and sing on the street and get enough money to get home. So we drove down to Queen Street, got in front of the bank. It was like a stage ` perfect. And so, we started singing, you know? And once we had $25, we said, 'That'll fill the car. Let's go!' So off we went, and then we got home, and we thought, 'Wow, that was quite amazing!' Mm. And so, for an entire year, that's what we did. Every Friday, we came into town. The only thing that could drown us out were the Hare Krishnas. We had to stop when they went by. - (JANGLING CYMBALS) - (TOPP TWINS SING INDISTINCTLY) It's a matter of timing. If they had been ten years earlier, then it would have been a different story. But they had now conquered the country. Oh my God, the Topp twins! (LAUGHS) I was obsessed with their TV show. If that tea's cold when we get to our picnic... How does it know how to keep it hot or cold? I think I was so young to not even realise fully that, like, that Camp Mother and Camp Leader were also Ken and Ken. You're like, 'Wow, those two guys really look like Camp Mother and Camp Leader!' (LAUGHS) Right? Must be brothers or something! And I remember the # Oh, yo, Bambina # song really just... wow. (LAUGHS) It just spoke to me. LAUGHS: Yeah. They're driving in their little blue car on the track. I still remember that. She's the lady in pink! You're a menace on the road! I love you! PA: Oh, no! I don't believe it! The old man on the speedway has been taken out, but the Bambina heads down the back straight ` the lead up to here tonight, and she takes the chequered flag! So... inspos. # But size doesn't matter... The music is the driving force of the Topp Twins. Yeah. It's the vehicle. The comedy is sort of the side roads. We followed each other on Twitter. We thought each other was pretty funny. But we hadn't met or anything. But she came over to my house, and we didn't... turn each other into handbags or murder each other or anything like that. Like... Yeah! She's like, 'Come and stay at my house, strange lady on the internet.' I was like, 'OK, that sounds great.' So I turned up there and stayed the night. (BOTH LAUGH) Drank a couple of bottles of wine, and ended up writing songs. The Mike McRoberts Song is about how sexual watching Mike McRoberts do the news is. Yeah. It's a beautiful love song, um, where we serenade him, um... you know, and tell him about how we like to finger-bang ourselves to Newshub. Because he's on it, not just all the time. Only when he's on it. What am I doing here? (LAUGHTER) Mike McRoberts came to our show, because Livi tweeted him, like, 'Ha, ha, we wrote a song about you.' We wrote you this love song, Mike. (LAUGHTER) And he was like, 'I'd love to hear it sometime!' And I'm like, 'Well`' 'How about if you came to the show?' 'Crazy thing is...' Yeah. I mean, I hope, you know, from the show that you've watched so far, you kind of know what you're in for. (LAUGHTER) We did not think that he would come to the show. (LAUGHS) And then, we got him up on stage for his song. # Stare at your face each night at 6, # two knuckles deep as you report on politics. (LAUGHTER) # Dapper as hell, and you're smart. # Mike McRobbed my heart. (LAUGHTER) I don't think he was expecting it to be... As horny as it was? As horny as it was. It was a pretty horny song. I mean, he's a legend, isn't he? He's so beautiful. # You know what would improve Newshub? # It's you reading the news nude in a hot tub. I feel like it's 2018, you can just be horny. # ...in your suit. # I bet you'd look even better when we root. # And we just sang what everyone else is thinking. (LAUGHS) Thank you for being such a good sport. (LAUGHTER) There's actually something in there for Paula too, cos fuck, I'm so sorry. (LAUGHTER) * PRODUCER: OK. Sorry, can we... CREW MEMBER: Microphones back. Back. I, for some reason, decided to do a character that was... an American country singer. IN AMERICAN ACCENT: This song, it's called 'Life'. It's all about life. It's off of my fifth album ` 'Wilson Dixon ` Whistling Dixie'. (LAUGHTER) Yeah, I find it annoying as well. Because we happened to have a cowboy hat, I was like, 'Oh, maybe I'll do`' and there was an old wig there too. # Life is like sitting on a snake ` # sooner or later, it's gonna bite you in the ass. (LAUGHTER) # Life's like a Sudoku puzzle ` # frustrating, # and ultimately pointless. (LAUGHTER) I was trying to make it feel like it was real,... # Life's like having a conversation ` # you're crazy if you try and do it alone. ...so that you would laugh at it from the nature of its observations. So the songs do sound like country songs. # Life, life, life, life, life. (LAUGHTER) # Ooh, life, life, life, life, life. (LAUGHTER) Wilson is also not aware that he's... he's, uh, funny. # Life's like the movie Titanic ` # long... (LAUGHTER) You're not laughing at your own stuff. You're doing a funny line. Like, Wilson, I kind of just wait for people to finish. # ...and you know how it's gonna end. (LAUGHTER) It's obviously a big part of, you know, like, The Front Lawn ` to see things like that when I was a teenager, and being blown away that you could do that. That really informed my work, I think, more than anything else, I would say, would be The Front Lawn. # Life's like a song by Britney Spears ` # devoid of meaning, # but what the heck? Let's dance. # (LAUGHTER) And so, for Wilson to be something that people connect with not only cos it's funny, but because it's` maybe there's a bit of heart there, or there's a bit of sort of melancholy there, or something. It's kind of quite nice to be putting out into the world. Thanks, folks. I've been Wilson Dixon. You guys are great. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Thank you, Mister. Take care of yourselves. See you later. (APPLAUSE CONTINUES) I see people dressed up as slutty Draculas, slutty Frankensteins, slutty ghosts. As if a ghost can't have sex with whoever they want. Two Hearts started when Joseph was hosting a late-night comedy show ` a Halloween themed one ` and he got me to come over to his house and he was like, we want to perform a song for tonight that could potentially be for this comedy group we're gonna start. And we wrote it that afternoon, and it's become probably one of our biggest, like, live hits. It's called 'Slutty Ghost'. (LAUGHS) Did someone say, 'A slutty ghost?' So Slutty Ghost was like a... Kind of new area of music for us, cos that's just hardcore, filthy rap. Slutty ghost! RAPS: # Wake up in the morning, # surprised you've got a boner. Yeah! # That's cos a slutty ghost is rubbing up on ya. I've never been that filthy in live comedy. I've always, kind of, wanted to do stuff that my mum would like. RAPS: # I'm having sex with the Witch of the West. # She's melting ` I'm getting her wet. Laura Daniel was becoming part of the core cast of Jono and Ben. Uh, Laura's probably way too talented for the show. (LAUGHS) LAUGHS: Yeah! We always said that Laura's too talented for the show. And to get her a sketch in every single show, we really kind of rallied behind her. Yeah, she really found her voice with those songs. Sometimes, people use kind of self-deprecating comedy as, like, almost a crutch sometimes. It's cool to see people going the opposite way, where it's fully committing and going really big. # You look around ` 'Who's that in my bed?' # Just this translucent bitch that is dead giving you head. # Joseph, he'll produce the music, and then, for a song like Palmy North, where it's gonna be a sketch element to it as well, Joseph then directs the music videos. So then, we're parodying a style of music video as well. So we tried to get a popular sound that was happening. I just watch endless tutorials on YouTube ` sort of like, how to make a song go (MAKES WHOOSHING NOISE). # Way back in 1990, # I was born in the city of Palmy. # And from the very first day, I knew # it was... fine. And we're kind of talking about Palmy being a bit of a whore-y shithole, but in a positive light, because it is a whore-y shithole. (LAUGHS) That song needed to be, like, fist-pumping. # A great place to raise a family. # That's why there's so much teenage pregnancy. So the amount of effort that goes into producing these tracks is just crazy. But filming stuff outside of Auckland is just an absolute dream, because everyone's excited there's a film crew in town. A whole cheerleading squad is like, 'We will be the cheerleaders in your video! (LAUGHS) 'When and where, we'll show up for free.' # Palmerston North! # Palmy North! # I always knew I'd been inspired by Flight of the Conchords, but I didn't know that that's... 'OK, yeah. That was what you watched when you were younger, and now, you do this.' (LAUGHS) I performed Flight of the Conchords songs at my school assembly, with a little guitar. Didn't change the words, either. (CHUCKLES) I didn't know the effect it was gonna have. (SCATTERED APPLAUSE) (MUMBLES) (ACOUSTIC PICKING) All right. David and Carey and Taika, actually, were the` they could play guitar, and Jemaine and I couldn't play guitar. Yeah. Bret was in bands, but not playing guitar. He played drums and keyboards. And so we sort of tried to learn the chords to the song, and, um... I would often play one string at a time. And I reckon for definitely a lot of comedy musicians, they just want to be serious musicians, but have, like, a crippling insecurity that means they could never actually express themselves through lyrics, so do jokes instead. We couldn't sing and play guitar at the same time, and we still struggle with that. (BOTH LAUGH) I personally am not that musically talented. I've been involved in music throughout my life, but always at a very average level. (LAUGHS) Like, I can play the ukulele... OK. Beginner violin, beginner flute, beginner recorder, piano, drums. And then, the instrument we are good at ` the recorder ` is really hard to play and sing at the same time. But yeah, I always wanted to do proper music, and here we are now. We started kind of practising guitar together. It was just embarrassing if you couldn't play three chords. (LAUGHS) We'd be sitting there, working on that. That's like, uh, just trying to catch up to the other guys. It was interesting. We did` Now, we've got a Grammy. We did` (CHUCKLES) Yeah. They're the fourth most popular. So the other three ` there's three above them, clearly. There was The Stone Roses, who were doing, like, a parody of the Rolling Stones and Guns N' Roses put together, but unfortunately, they didn't realise there was already a very famous band called The Stone Roses. What were we called when we started out? We were a rock duet. Uh, Deirdre and the Place Setters. They've only put one album out, I know, and it's called 'Guess Who's Coming to Dinner', and then, in brackets, 'Don't Guess, I Actually Need to Know.' Finger Magic. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2019