Yeah. Leigh, any time you need a drink, just` We stop a lot. Oh, I'm` Yeah. We've had trots to the toilets,... Is that right? ...smoko breaks, um, the full gamut. Have you had a power chunder yet? (LAUGHS) Yeah, sure. (GROANS) Oh. What? Him? I've never done a board before in my life! Let go, Paul. He doesn't know how to do it. This feels like a test. Like, everyone's gonna laugh if I do it wrong. Just give it to John. (LAUGHS) (GROANS) Oh man. Thank you. At last. It's like a prison lineup, isn't it? (LAUGHS) Will they use any of this? (RETCHES) (GROANS) (LAUGHTER) I got put off cos my name's John. He said, 'Mark', so that's not my fault; that's his fault. My name's John. Mark it. (CLICK!) Hi, sweeties. Oh, yeah, gidday. My name's Lynn, and I come from Tawa. (BILLY T LAUGHS) www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2019 I always found comfort in a group. You know? It's like when you're at school ` no one likes to be walking around on their own. I would never have had the confidence to do a show on my own. It would have been impossible. Whereas by being part of a collective effort ` it was kind of safety in numbers. Mm. Yeah. Safety in numbers. (APPLAUSE) We're at the end of the first hole. Barry is nine over, and Charlie has a broken club. 'I became the producer of a local Christchurch magazine show five nights a week. 'And subtly ` although people would say not subtly ` I attempted to inject comedy into it' or occasionally satire into it. And the one thing that hadn't been done on television in New Zealand was political satire. There should always be political satire. If you're doing comedy, it needs to be political ` some of it, not all of it, because that's how you normalise, humanise the serious political things that are happening is by taking the piss, and New Zealanders are good at taking the piss. It was interesting doing politics as an artist in those times. There wasn't a lot of comedy to work with in those things that we were doing. But Muldoon did kick off a satire boom in New Zealand, I suppose. He's a buffoon. Well, I proposed it to some of my superiors. I was told quite frankly, 'You have to understand, David, 'you're young and you're energetic, but you don't know the facts of life, 'and one of the facts of life is New Zealanders do not have a sense of humour. 'They're a very, very staunch, sensible people, and they don't like laughing, 'and they don't like laughing at themselves.' And I thought,... 'You're wrong.' (APPLAUSE) When A Week Of It came along, I mean, that was ground-breaking, really. From one end of the country to the other, people just loved it. It was so irreverent. A Week Of It was... totally new... to the New Zealand television psyche. Good evening. I'm Ken Ellis. And I'm David McPhail. And tonight we answer the question that's on everyone's lips ` just what is Bill Rowling really like in bed? (LAUGHTER) Now, an exclusive to A Week Of It ` the prime minister getting a lei. (LAUGHTER) There were other comedians, or writers, around the country ` in Wellington and Auckland ` who were much more, sort of, prominent than we were. And I kept on thinking of using them, and then someone said, miraculously, 'Look, don't be stupid. 'What about all the guys you know in Christchurch?' There was a bunch of them there who were my friends, and we made each other laugh. And I said, 'Do you wanna do this?' And they said, 'Yes.' And I said, 'Well, I suppose we should.' Great thing that, uh` Great thing that David Lan-gee there, telling the National Party that they're steering the Ship of State from the gutter, wasn't it? Don't you reckon? I reckon` I reckon that's a damn cheek, that is. Lucky he isn't steering the Ship of State; he'd sink the bloody thing. Oh yeah. (LAUGHTER) If you ask me. I-I used to be in the Sea Scouts. (LAUGHTER) I met John Gadsby in Dunedin, actually. I'd been told that there was a... very funny guy and I should really meet him because he was very funny. Now, the worst thing you can say to a person who thinks they're funny is that there's another person who's funnier than them. And... someone had said exactly the same thing to Gadsby. So, we met at a party, and then there was the game of, 'OK, make me laugh. Go on. Make me laugh.' I think at 5 o'clock in the morning, we decided we'd better part company. And so when A Week Of It began to develop, I said, 'Do you wanna come up?' And here's an item just a hand ` Christchurch Airport was this afternoon host to a rare white heron, or kotuku. The bird is thought to have sought sanctuary there in order to escape rising floodwaters. Unfortunately, we have no film of the bird, but it looked something like this. (CAWS) And it was done to a live audience in the Civic Theatre, end to end, in the half an hour. You had no chance to sort of mull over stuff. If it worked, it worked; it if didn't, well, there was no time to change it. I remember seeing it in Christchurch. We went to the filming, yeah. We went to the filming of it, yeah. It was unbelievably chaotic. Seeing them make this TV show ` yeah, real starry-eyed about that whole thing. There was a lot of adrenaline, a lot of hilarity. When we finished recording, he would grab the tape and... I remember running around the corner to the television channel and throwing the video tape at the video operator. You were flying by the seat of your pants, and it was... it was just wonderful. One day, we finished recording, and we thought we'd go down to the Grenadier Pub for a pint. You know, there was quite a few people at the bar, and then all of a sudden, the barman said, 'Right, quiet, everybody,' turned up the TV set. We thought, 'Oh, must be a rugby game on or something.' But it wasn't. It was A Week Of It. When A Week Of It was nominated for a Feltex Award, we were surprised. We had all flown there all excitedly, you know, cos we were nominated ` wow ` amongst all the serious actors. Annie got best female actor. And I actually literally ran from the back of the room (CHUCKLES) up on to the stage, cos I thought, 'Maybe they've made a mistake,' and I was gonna grab it and go anyway. (LAUGHS) But I was so excited. (APPLAUSE) David McPhail got an award, and the show got an award. Many of my contemporaries felt that it was an absolute travesty that an acting award should go to a comedian, and also, may I say, not a very good one. ALL: # Radiation. # Radiation. # The neutron bomb give off radiation. # It makes your kids French fries and kills your wife likewise... We all knew each other, so we all felt really comfortable with each other. # Oh, the bomb is a blessing for the shopping wife... # Annie was remarkable. In the A Week Of It days, she was the only woman there. I learnt a lot about acting, because, for a long time, I think, comedy wasn't regarded as acting, but, of course, it is. Now, I was doing kuias and old bag ladies and prostitutes. I was` I mean, they were all stereotypes, but within that, you have to draw, you know, from inside yourself, from your own experience. When you're in a bunch of guys who are writing ` they're writing a few things for you, but not much, and one of the things they're most proud of, and you are probably shuddering, is a blase barmaid. Fan-bloody-tastic. Aren't ya, darlin'? Excuse me. What? After a 3% wage increase. Oh, belt up, face ache. See? Told ya. She's absolutely dying for it, boy. 'I railed against that role...' Is that right? Yeah. ...because she was such a stereotype, and at that point, feminism was rearing its head, and I was feeling kind of part of it, and I was feeling aggrieved. I think we did find it hard to write funny sketches for women. I think that was simply a blind spot on our part, I think, because we were writing for some of the most extraordinary comediennes of that particular period. She was probably the only character that I didn't wholeheartedly love. Not with anaesthetic, mate. No, no. Anna Sthetic ` she was that model that modelled for the toothpaste ad, wasn't she? But she was hugely popular. Jeez, Wayne. You wouldn't know a decent-looking model from a patchwork quilt. And the 'Jeez, Wayne' line became part of the vernacular for years. People would go round saying, 'Jeez, Wayne.' A Week Of It went for three years, and it finally reached a point where, particularly the writing group had other jobs. And so there were three of us that still wanted to continue doing something. It was AK Grant who decided to give up a career in law, and John Gadsby. McPhail and Gadsby. Yeah, I remember my parents talking a lot about McPhail and Gadsby. Oh yeah. My dad still talks about fuckin'... He's like, 'You're no McPhail and Gadsby.' (LAUGHS) Staying up with my dad and watching it. It's an amazing show. Is that you, Helen? Of course. Who do you think it is? CHUCKLES: Dover Samuels. Oh, Michael. I never know when you're joking. (CHUCKLES) I wasn't. And then going into the schoolyard and grabbing a friend, some poor friend, and writing scripts for them, and then asking the teacher if we could perform them for the class, so it was` it had a huge impact on me. Back in Christchurch, it's an early start for the men whose satire show can draw a bigger audience than an All Black test match. McPhail and Gadsby were, you know, quite magic in their politics, because it was on TV as well, and they were always, you know, pushing the boundaries. David McPhail's Muldoon became iconic. # Knees up, Mother Brown. Knees up, Mother Brown. Knees up. Knees up. # Come on, Thea. What's the matter with you? Muldoon was everywhere, cos he was a big presence in New Zealand. He was, like, a chairman Mao. You know? I bore a very vague resemblance to him. And I stress that ` very vague. He was highly successful as a media person himself, so he was always on the TV. And he was also a right-wing (CHUCKLES) fascist. But he was such a persona. He really was. But he was a performer. He has a very prominent jaw, so you have to stick your jaw out like that. He has a very round face, so you have to push your face down and like that. And then he has another particular characteristic, facial characteristic, which, curiously enough, I can only do on one side, which is that side. His, I believe, is actually on that side. But, of course, once you get into that sort of position like that, the voice almost comes automatically, and that's probably why he speaks that way. It was a great delight to do, but the danger with it was you could overfamiliarise yourself and make him a figure of fun. I call you turkeys, because, after all, I've stuff the lot of ya. (LAUGHS) Well, we had been going for about... seven years. I mean, that's a long run. John and I were battling to try and get another series. The then-head of programmes, who was a fellow called Mike Lattin. Anyway, he welcomed us into the office. 'Come in, boys. Sit down. Oh, it's great to see you. (LAUGHS) 'I admire your work, you know, by crikey, I do. Now, which of you is Pete and which is Pio?' I thought, 'Boy, this is amazing. 'The guy who's in charge of my career, my life, my future (CHUCKLES) doesn't know who I am.' (ENGINE REVS) Assertive ` that's how I describe my driving. On the open road, you're aiming for about 10 to 15 above the road sign. Nah, nah, passengers don't get to call the shots. I'm the one driving, so I choose the speed. (WEATHER REPORT PLAYS ON RADIO) (ENGINE REVS) If you wanna drive, then you can drive. That's what I always fire back. They just don't understand how you can drive quickly and safely. If anyone tells me to slow down, I give them the same response every time ` my car, my rules. * # Someday, he'll come... # ...to pluck these flowers. # So mind you keep your garden weeded. # Somebody had said, 'Oh, women comedians are as rare as hens' teeth.' Well, actually, they're not, so Hens' Teeth was born in 1988, started by Kate JasonSmith. I wanted to have a good laugh, I did, and I've had lots of laughs. In fact, I think that's the reason why it's going now. Hens' Teeth fulfilled that role for me of working with an ensemble, being inspired by and enjoying working with a wonderful group of women ` Dame Kate Harcourt and Lee Hatherly. Lorae Parry, Carmel McGlone, Madeline McNamara, Sally Rodwell, Helen Moulder ` all these incredible powerhouse women, deliberately comic to sort of prove that women were funny as well. A typical Hens' Teeth show would always start with the Mother Chook, Lee Hatherly. I don't really tell jokes. I mean, I don't think many women do tell, you know, little sure-fire jokes. I tell stories and anecdotes. And I thought, 'If I've gotta tell jokes, I've gotta make sure that they laugh at them.' She didn't so much warm up the audience as get them... (CHUCKLES) semi sexually aroused. (LAUGHS) Am I getting the spot? (LAUGHTER) Is that all right? It feels great. (LAUGHTER) Later. (LAUGHTER) And she would enslave the audience. Can I have the talent on set now, please? You don't have to shout! Then, what followed, really, was like a variety show, so it was... had its roots in musical hall and all kinds of things. Just pop that banana into the condom. And their first show at Circa Theatre broke box-office records. It was very different to anything else that had come before it. Yeah, it was a very amazing experience. It was very, what would you call it, mind-widening. And those are the days too of Digger and Nudger ` Carmel McGlone and Lorae Parry as these two Kiwi guys who were trying to make things right for women. It only costs the price of a few crates of beer. It was the sort of wonderful deconstruction of gender on stage, and it makes me think of the Topp Twins' characters Ken and Ken, but it has this political undercurrent to it, which I think is really interesting. And I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever seen in my life. There was a huge audience for it, but it was absolutely a battle. Hens' Teeth is about us as New Zealanders accepting that women can actually write comedy and can be funny. They're no longer just the girlfriend in the background to the silly typist with the nail varnish. You know? That's what we used to be. Yeah. Well, I'd like to introduce to you know three guys from a comedy group called Facial DBX. Sounds like something Dr Steve should check out, like a facial disease. But other comedy groups ` Funny Business, you know, Good Mates, Hens' Teeth, Girls Gotta Eat ` great names ` Facial DBX. Wow. Yatesy's brother did that logo. I think that's the main reason we kept the name, cos we were scared of Yatesy's brother. (LAUGHTER) The name Facial DBX... still makes me cringe. It's a group that I was part of that came out of the Massey University Capping Revue in Palmerston North. We do a mixture of, sort of, stand-up comedy, which is quite new in New Zealand. It's an American sort of thing. And where have you come from? Where have you risen from to these heights? Paul? Well, originally, we're from Palmerston North. Oh, you're not. Oh, sorry. No. No interview now (!) (CHUCKLES) Palmy's a strange town, cos, you know, the Corbetts and Bridges and Paul Yates all came out of Palmy. It's bred more New Zealand comedians than it legally should have been able to, for some reason. I think we were really lucky, the timing that we had, and just the way that Massey... the Capping Revues ` it was revelation to me, cos I wasn't particularly enjoying my degree, which I was doing by default, cos that's what you did. But then I discovered the Capping Revue. We'd just write our own Monty Python sketches without, you know, the brains that went into them. (LAUGHS) (LAUGHTER) Jujubes. Pineapple pie. (LAUGHTER) Three Marmite sandwiches, ketchup surprise, two beef patties and a... (SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY) beef burger! Everyone was allowed to write sketches and perform them. A lot of other universities you had, you know, someone like Roger Hall write the whole thing. I have a very sentimental attachment to capping shows, because it was part of my training, really. When I was at teachers' college and university, I did a huge number of revues. It was the first time that I'd actually appeared on stage in front of a very large audience. (AUDIENCE HOOTS) In the capping concerts, there was always a chance for budding writers and performers to actually get out on stage and try out their material. Most of us are well over 40 now, and I think we need a young generation of writers coming up ` the young women and men who are into comedy. Individuals who are fired up and want to write comedy because they love it, and that's what they do, and eventually, it wins through or it doesn't win through. Even though the jokes didn't work, we still find it fun to be out there. In fact, about half the show never got a laugh, I think. I even heard it argued that it was traditional to have some sketches in a capping concert that didn't work at all. (INDISTINCT CHATTER) Turned up yet? Yeah. Oh, no, we have to hold it on a bit. Just hang on. It was usually the sketches that were a bit shit that tended to be the most enjoyable to perform. (ALL LAUGH) Oh, what he means may be lost... But we had a Palmerston North audience ` grateful. They were. I believe that's why a lot of comedians come out of that area. It's because they are allowed to develop without getting shot down. You know? Cos when` The early stuff was pretty horrendous; some of my later stuff as well. (ALL LAUGH) Just get in before any of you do, but in Palmy, you're allowed to do that and develop, and, you know, I just take this opportunity to apologise to my parents and everyone else who came along to see the capping revues ` I'm sorry. But knowing that you embraced us through our ugly-ducking phase has led us on to better and greater things. I never wanted to be a playwright. That is, I never set out to be a playwright. I wrote sketches. I love it. So they could be 30 seconds to five minutes. And the thought of writing for something that would last two hours ` it was beyond me. It was like, could I swim Cook Strait or something? Of course not. Impossible. But I had written three half-hour plays for television, which was quite a breakthrough, so I was getting a bit of a reputation. And, as luck would have it, the Circa Theatre was just announcing they were going to open, and I said, 'Would you like to ready a play?' Ray Henwood, saw him in Whitcoulls, and he said, 'Of course.' So the read-through happened, and it was... the funniest night in theatre I've ever had. In terms of audience response, people just laughed and laughed and laughed. I was born in 1978, and I left the hospital and went backstage to the state opera house, where I was looked after by other actors while my dad was on stage and mum watched. It was set in public service. In those days, it was extremely difficult not to be a public servant, because if you worked for the airlines or the railways or the hospital or the post office or a teacher, you were a public servant. The entire public service of Wellington identified with it. You know, we know that comedy is based on truth, and if it's not, it's not gonna go anywhere. And they began to laugh before the play began, and they'd never been shown, really, their world on stage before. He was doing the stage play of Glide Time, which then became New Zealand's, sort of, first proper sitcom that was filmed at Avalon in front of a live studio audience. Did it jump straight from stage to screen? Did it, hell. I thought, 'Oh, this is a natural for TV.' The only people who didn't recognise it were people who worked in TV. # Such a comfort to know it's got no place to go. # It's always there. # We had the live audience, and we did two complete takes of the show each night, and they loved it. And so the first six years of my life were growing up at Avalon, going and watching him film Gliding On every week. ...warrant for the car unless I have a couple of retreads fitted. With this wage freeze, I might just as well be back home. No one's stopping you. (LAUGHTER) All of the people in that, to me, showed me comedy. What made it work were the characters. We were all actors who'd worked together a lot, so we're very comfortable with each other. And I think that was one of the things that contributed to the reality of it. People still do come up and say, 'I know who you are.' (CHUCKLES) 'You're Beryl.' I bet none of you has the willpower to go on a diet. 'Course I have. I could if it was necessary. Piece of cake, Beryl. She actually ran the office. Beryl usually solved the dilemma of the episode in some way. A very early feminist role model for people. Probably wouldn't be acceptable now, but was at the time. In the TV one ` bit I like ` it was just era when people were starting to put 'Thank you for not smoking' on their desks. And Jim comes in, and Beryl has put on his desk this little folded notice. (LAUGHTER) (COUGHS) (LAUGHTER) The live records of Gliding On at Avalon Studios was... pretty much my kindy. In fact, I was an extra in a couple of episodes around Christmas. (CHILDREN CHATTER) So then it ran for five years, and then I stopped it, which I perhaps shouldn't, but I didn't want to be on a bus hearing somebody say, 'Oh, that's been running too long.' I wanted people to remember it with affection, which I think they do. VOICEOVER: Hey, Auckland, which of the Youi 40 ways to save would work best for where you live? Grey Lynn, close to the city, is where Ava lives, so number 1 of 40 - "Don't drive to work" - could be best for her. Do a car insurance quote at youi.co.nz. * Watching Monty Python, for me, not really having a dad around, cos it was just Mum and I, I felt like they were my dads, so I really adored each and every one of the Pythons, and I was obsessed with every single thing they did, and so I watched it, and still do ` it's still my happy place. And so I think when I became a comedian, I wanted to be in a sketch troupe. Now, the hard part was finding other members. (LAUGHS) So I decided to,... for the most part, be those other members as well, and I think that's why when` my stand-up, you can see that I'm being other characters and I'm being other characters talking to each other. So I take the mask off ` pssh-whoo ` and grandad takes his off ` pshh, ah, fuck. Anyway, it's still coming at us in 3D ` aargh ` and I'm thinking, 'Shit, what's going on?' And then I realised before I'd turned up, I'd been tripping on acid. (LAUGHTER) 'Course, I was in a comedy duo in Christchurch with Grant Lobban, and I was gonna say, 'God rest his soul, but he is still alive. (LAUGHS) Quick! Pretend we're tikis. We were creating things that you'd go, 'Oh, this is funny because it makes no sense.' Hey, Rhys, got an impersonation for ya. All right? What am I now? Christ. Well, um, knowing Grant's mind as I do, I have to say a rather large onion ring stapled to a 5-foot statue of a salmon. (LAUGHTER) Every time! (LAUGHTER) I managed to pull off a degree, got the certificate and ran. From Canterbury, Christchurch. Bloody cold down there at the moment, isn't it? Yes, it is. Would you please start clapping now for Rhys from Canterbury! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) AUDIENCE CHANTS: Rhys! Rhys! Rhys! Rhys! Rhys! Rhys! Rhys! Rhys! Rhys! Thank you. You'll get your money as promised. When being in a sketch troupe didn't happen, I thought as a solo performer, 'Bugger it. I'm just gonna do sketches anyway. I'll do them on my own.' (WHISTLE IMITATES FLY BUZZING) I didn't mean to be different, and I think growing up, being a bit of a loner, but playing very well on my own, being able to do little characterisations of voices and things with my action figures, all of that came back. This is what I expected to see in the Transformers film when they transformed. (IMITATES MECHANICAL WHIRRING) Transform. (IMITATES WHOOSHING) Oh, fuck. My arm's stuck in the wheel housing. I can't` I can't twist it. Will that rotate round? I can't... Fuck, what does that do? I'm half a truck. One of my fondest memories is the international comedians coming over and a couple of them coming up to me and saying, 'Your act would work overseas, 'you know, because you're not centric about any New Zealand ideas; you're talking about dinosaurs, 'jetpacks, mermaids. You're doing a lot of underwater sounds and weird movements with your legs. 'You could do that anywhere.' And I went, 'Hmm.' Thank you very much! (APPLAUSE) First of all, I wanted attention. 'Look at me. Look at me.' I had my own box of chalks in primary school with the lift-up lids. And then when teachers left the room, I knew I could race down the front of the classroom and do a caricature of the teacher on the blackboard, and then all the kids would laugh, and I'd be pleased with myself, and then I'd rub it off before the teacher came back, and they'd walk back into the room and all the kids would be laughing. Then you get when they look in your direction, 'Ooh. Ooh, um, yes, now that I have your attention ` 'look at me. I'm reasonably clever. Look at me again and I might make you laugh,' and then, basically, you start thinking, 'Actually, there are things that need to be said and I have an opportunity to say them.' I was lucky in school. If you look sideways and can see other people from your era doing things, you realise maybe, you know, it's possible. The woman who wrote Rabbit-Proof Fence, that great Australian film, sat two seats behind me in Feilding Ag ` Christine Olsen. So Murray Ball, myself, John Clarke ` it's something to do with the Manawatu, I think. I hated vet school. I was cutting up dead horses and dead sheep. I met some other likeminded, brilliant guys editing the student newspaper. I wrote reviews, edited Masskerade and worked for Chaff, so I left with a physiology degree, but I served my apprenticeship at Massey University in writing and cartooning. I looked in the newspaper ` I'm gonna sound incredibly arrogant now ` I thought all the cartoonists in the paper were shithouse, absolutely fuckin' useless. The thing that, you know, I always look for is the editorial cartoons in the daily newspapers, which I think is the biggest source of constant comedy in New Zealand. We punch way above our weight in regards to cartoonists. I mean, David Low was brilliant, and I think Tom Scott's a genius, quite frankly. You think, 'Gosh, I wish I'd said that.' To me, that's the ultimate compliment. You know? And I would draw away furiously, and finally I plucked up the courage to show the editor of the Sunday Star Times Frank Hayden. And I nervously handed the drawing across. He looked at it and he said, 'I'll print it. Bring me another one next week.' And then I waited all week for the Sunday Star Times to come out, and I dashed down to a dairy ` this wasn't Masskerade or Chaff; this was the real deal ` and there was my cartoon inside, and I was a published cartoonist. I did seven, and then Ian Cross rang me up from the Listener. 'I've had a good look at your cartoons. I think you'd be an excellent writer.' Four pages into the Listener, there I was Tom Scott's Parliament. I` He made me a star overnight. Well, there's a Chinese proverb that says one rat's droppings spoils a whole bowl of soup. And a man who by his own admission writes high-class garbage is out of place in two very sensitive visits. The 'high-class garbage' comment was in retort of you calling his writing 'distorted garbage'. Yes. Walking down a corridor at parliament one day, and Muldoon's coming towards me and he said, 'Ah! Mr Scott, is it? 'Ha! 'I read an article of yours in the Listener. 'I didn't know you could write.' And I said, 'Oh, I didn't know you could read.' It was all over from that point on, and Muldoon started complaining about me, and then, bang, I was that brave young man in the Listener who's taking on the bully. Have you lost your sense of humour? (LAUGHS) No, I haven't. I haven't, but I rather think you have, from the kind of questions you're asking me. It's Newton's Third Law ` to every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction ` and Muldoon required people to stand up to him. And as Greg McGee said, 'The only thing a bully respects is a bigger bully.' I love drawing him... To make him look really small, I always had his fingers barely poking out of his jacket or he was on a trolley being pulled by a small boy. I found when I was mocking Muldoon, not only were the Labour Party delighted, but about a third of the National Party caucus would sneak up to me. 'He's such a prick. He's suck a bully. Good on ya. Shove it up him. Shove it up him.' And he was terribly unpopular. It was only years later that I learnt that he was bullied himself as a kid. Gets into politics, he's powerful and successful, and at last, his life is making sense, and then this bloody prick with red afro and platform-soled shoes and flared jeans is picking on him again. No, Mr Scott. Sorry. Do you want me to leave? Somebody from my staff here? Take him away, will you? When Muldoon actually banned me from his press conferences, which was... oh, thank God. I didn't have to go. It was fantastic. He only got a handful of letters of support, one of which was from my father. (LAUGHS) What's your personal attitude to Tom Scott? (CHUCKLES) I have no personal attitude to him. People love seeing powerful people reduced a little bit. It's me with a box of chalks and a teacher. If I can make the kids laugh while the teacher's out of the room, you just feel slightly better about the planet for a few seconds. A tree is a tree. Um, and when it's windy up there and I kind of hug on to it down here, it's this wonderful, sort of, amount of energy that you get from it. It's terribly, terribly soothing. It's almost like it's alive. Well, of course, it is alive. I mean, it's a tree. It's got sap roaring up through it. But there's this brilliant life force that you get from hugging on to a tree. I'd been living alone for about five months in the Australian Northern Territory as a` kind of an experiment to see what it did to my head, and when I got back to New Zealand, I realised that no one really` especially males, we don't talk about our fantasies at all, and so I thought it'd be really good to do a comic strip about that. I mean, the initial drawings were just absolute appalling. (CHUCKLES) I had no idea, but the main thing was that I was doing Man Alone, which I'd just experienced, and, you know, he was in a black singlet, and he was being, basically, rather stupid. And for me, life was this kind of huge joke. And when I started the comics in the Listener, and Ian would sit there and go, 'Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,' flick through them, and at one stage, I decided I would do some comic strips about marijuana. So we had this discussion-argument, (CHUCKLES) and he said, 'All right. The hedgehog can get stoned, 'but Bogor can't, because people will not emulate a hedgehog.' (CHUCKLES) Which I thought was great. I was in awe of people like Trace Hodgson or Murray Ball or Tom Scott who could draw whatever you liked. I was only doing one a week, and you think of someone like Murray Ball doing, you know, six a week ` I mean, the guy was a genius. Ball learned his trade on provincial newspapers in New Zealand and polished it in Britain, drawing for children's comics and later for the famous Punch magazine. When his cartoons appeared in the Manawatu Times, and I saw the name Ball and people told me he was a local, I thought, 'Oh my God. It's possible.' Not only Footrot Flats, but, you know, Stanley and Bruce the Barbarian. The early version of Wal Footrot was actually Bruce the Barbarian. When Murray was going to write the movie Footrot Flats, he said, 'I'd like to write it with Tom Scott,' which we` I hardly knew him. 'Oh my God. Murray Ball wants me to write Footrot Flats with him.' We sat side by side for two years, and Murray wanted me to be the voice of The Dog. I said, 'Murray, I'm not an actor.' He said, 'But you're perfect for The Dog ` 'you're neurotic, you're whining, you're full of self-pity. 'You would make an outstanding Dog,' and I have to agree. And Murray Ball says it's too early to say whether he'll create any more Dog movies. I can't guarantee that. It's... I've gotta get over this trauma first, and then I'll see. Come in, my dear. Get in here this instant! Dog! Dog? Speak up, dammit! Oh, woof, woof. Bloody woof, woof, woof. * This is so embarrassing to admit out loud, but it's a part of New Zealand comedy I think we probably don't talk about enough, and that is Marc Ellis and Matthew Ridge. Game of Two Halves was the pre-7 Days 7 Days, really. Marc Ellis and Matthew Ridge ` who knew they could be funny? Two former sports presenters developed a cult following from the stuff they did on Question of Sport and then later on SportsCafe. Work on it, and then` There's inbreeding and there's inbreeding, and that really is... And coming up after the break ` we, of course, have our very professional reporter That Guy. Oh, there you are. Join me now as I take you on a tour of Avalon Studios. You gotta remember, they started in 1975 and all the TV... in New Zealand... Leigh Hart was one of my favourite comedians. That got me into, kind of, Moon TV. SportsCafe had, like, a season ` in those days, I think we might have done 40 shows in a year or something, which meant 10 or 12 weeks or so where we weren't doing anything. And I just went and saw one of the programmers at SKY and said, 'Look, if I could come up with a show, six episodes, would you put it on TV?' 'Do you want any money?' I said, 'No, it's all right. I'll go get some sponsors.' I think we ended up getting $600 or something. MTN, your` (BEEP!) (LAID-BACK MUSIC) MTN is experiencing... Half the skits I pulled out of SportsCafe anyway and just built stuff around it, and they put it on probably about 11 o'clock at night. It's yet another typical day for the Speedo Cops. The new Chief Inspector Bevan Reeves is familiarising himself with his new position. Just on that point, if I might just briefly... I'm not a big PG Tips fan. Like, I like English Breakfast or Dilmah. IMITATES DILMAH TEA AD: Do try it. There was a real culture of frustrated comedians ` 'How come you've got a show? How come I haven't?' That sort of stuff. Cos they were waiting for permission to go make a show. I'd say. 'Well, hold on. Just get a camera. You just have to do it. 'It's gonna be late nights. We're gonna have to work hard. There's gonna be no money in it. 'No one's gonna see it, but you know, they're not gonna own it; we're gonna own it.' Welcome to the kitchen. We're gonna do a fabulous dinner today. Leigh Hart speed cooking ` one of the best things in New Zealand comedy. (CLATTERING) Cutting open a milk bottle with a serrated knife. OK, OK, um, right. (CHUCKLES) Yes. We'll crank that up. No, no, no, no. That will... probably work. I might have electrocuted myself slightly during the speed-cooking routine when the blender got wet and I was shaking it round, and I could feel the fuzz coming up my arm, going, 'Yeah, actually, this is getting quite dangerous.' It's got more in it. (BLENDERS WHIRR LOUDLY) With Moon TV, like it or hate it, there was a style to it. He sort of brought the world of, sort of, John Clarke together with that world of the new television. You know, a show like Back of the Y, for example, they owned it, and that's what they were doing. One of our mates was at the YMCA hostel, my mate Perky, and he was like, 'Oh God. I've gotta eat at the back of the Y again.' Out the back of the hostel, because, for some reason, he wanted to eat out the front. I don't know why. Someone overheard it and was like, 'What do you mean, you're eating at the back of the Y?' Sounded offensive, so... Well, it's all going back of the Y tonight. They slotted in this five-minute show on Space every week ` a completely genius rare breed. I remember when I was Year Six, I did a Back of the Y sketch at our end-of-year performance. And, like, parents ` well, teachers were probably like, 'Why is she watching Back of the Y?' Tonight ` Randy Cambell, New Zealand's greatest daredevil stuntman will attempt to jump a car and an angry monkey on a BMX. It was kinda like an art department and a stunt department with, kind of, a story vaguely attached around it. It was like nothing I'd ever seen before. Chris was just so naturally good at stunts. Randy is away! Suddenly, the stunt goes horribly wrong. One of the first and most amazing stunts was actually in the titles of the first Back of the Y series, and I was filming it, and he was jumping off this cliff at the quarry, and he jumps, and then he lands and he messes it up, and he keeps coming down, then he falls down this cliff and just keeps going. And I'm just filming it, and I'm like, 'Oh, he's dead.' No corporation could give us money to make the show now. No way! I mean, it was... Everything about it was unsafe. Very in-your-face and slapstick, and some of it was the best; some of it was the worst, but the tone and the style developed, and that's what a lot of other people did too, I think ` Eating Media Lunch. In the hullabaloo about brethren and testicles, there was one election promise... Yeah, I just loved Eating Media Lunch. I thought it was so funny. Jeremy Wells was so hot. I was like, 'Perfect.' Like, hit right at the right time. (CHUCKLES) He'd pretend he was being serious, but what he was saying was usually ridiculous, but he had the tone and the look of a newsreader. Winston Peters talked about reducing the length of powhiri, or traditional Maori welcome. He used to call up places and say, 'Tena koutou,' and see how many 'tena koutou's he could do before they would hang up. (LAUGHS) Tena koutou. Tena koutou. Tena` Tena koutou. OK, see you later, stupid man. I just thought it was the funniest thing. Like, I don't think we could get that any more. TV was way more powerful back then. Terrible editing. Terrible sound. We don't wanna do it in the studio. We'll build our own studio with halogen lights from The Warehouse. You know? It was really shitty stuff. And filmed it on borrowed cameras. It didn't really matter what TVNZ wanted; that's the show they were gonna get. Every series, we thought, 'Oh, they'll cancel us.' Felt like we'd snuck into the building, and we were doing something illegal and getting away with it. ...a sad piece of shit. The patients took over the institution. Lunatics in the asylum. I think people appreciated the anarchy of it. Then it was time to go. OK. I've got a theory ` it's not how many you juggle but what you juggle. (LAUGHTER) (LAUGHS) You're glad you sat there now, eh (?) (LAUGHS) I've always described street performing as the bungee jumping of comedy. (GRUNTS) He's good. He didn't flinch at all. He farted, though. (LAUGHTER) You've gotta stop people, and you've gotta get money out of them, and you've gotta be entertaining. Christchurch was the home of the busking festival, so every year, you would see these street-performing comedy gods. They were my heroes. This'll make great TV. Comedians go on stage, and they're 'famous'. Street performers can go in Edinburgh, and they can smash out shows for, like, 600, 700 people, crowds screaming their names. 20 minutes afterwards, that street performer can be completely alone. It is a bit split-personality of sorts, but when you go and do a comedy show, you can just get up there and just slam through it, which was` that was a joy. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) Oh! But there's only so far you can push it. I hammered a nail up my nose one year, and they were like, 'OK, what are you doing next year? Are you gonna put a power drill in?' (DRILL WHIRRS, AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS) And so the Tape Face thing became this rebellious act to go, 'I'm gonna do a show where the audience can entertain themselves.' I was doing something different. You know, you'd have your stand-up comedians on your lineup ` boom, boom, boom. Here's a sketch comedy. Here's a music comedy. And then here's this guy coming out with tape on his face, not doing anything. So when I did the Melbourne Comedy Festival, I took, like, a 240-seater venue, and I remember working it out on paper going, 'But I only need 35 to 40 people a night to break even.' 40 people a fucking night! Ha! (LAUGHS) I remember running around Melbourne with comp tickets, crying, just going into hostels going, 'Do you want to see a show?' And they were like, 'We've already seen it. You were here two nights ago.' And the Melbourne Reviewer for The Age had come to see the show, he'd really liked it and just hadn't printed the review. He finally printed it in the final week, and it was a four-and-a-half star review ` voom ` we were full. It was great. So when we did Edinburgh the first time ` 120-seater venue, Gilded Balloon ` I think we sold it out pretty quick smart, and that was it. It was great. The buzz was all around the show. I think America's Got Talent was the springboard platform for the world. The year I was on, every single video they uploaded went viral. So it wasn't just me; it was every single act was a viral video. So the blessing of the curse of it is that I'm from America's Got Talent now. That's my thing. I can't hate on it too much, because it's, like` it's opened up so many doors and it's made my career now. The goal is to now transcend AGT and become Tape Face. That's the plan. Getting the Vegas residency has definitely helped keep me here in the country and keep me relevant, because then I become a success of the show. We're here at Harrahs Las Vegas, doing shows six nights a week till 2021. Hopefully we will extend and go on, but I still` there's the rest of the world, which is why we started the plan of, 'Let's clone it.' When I started looking at somebody else to be the Tape Face, it was that thing of going, 'Don't be me. Do the essence of the gag, but find your own clown funny to do it.' And it works. The first time I watched the show ` that was a weird experience. Talk about digging your own grave. (CHUCKLES) But, yeah, stood literally at the back of this room, watching a whole audience of people laughing at the right times, all the right formulas were there, and the show just worked. The goal is to do that ` to become just a thing that exists forever. And then, yeah, maybe that's also because I've got Peter Pan syndrome and don't wanna die. (LAUGHS) 1 WHISPERS: I didn't know we had to get dressed up. WHISPERS: We're not going to bed, Ron. We're going out. (ROLLER DOOR RATTLES) (INTRIGUING MUSIC) (IGNITION CLICKS, CAR WHIRRS) (MAN SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE ON VIDEO) Hit it! (CAR POWERS UP) (EXCLAIMS EXCITEDLY) (WHOOPS) # Lazy days... # (MEN LAUGH) Oh my Gawd! Hey! (SCREAMING) Yes, yes. I don't feel well. BOTH: What?! (TYRES SCREECH) (WOMEN LAUGH) There you go. (BOTH LAUGH) (ENGINE REVS) What have you got under the hood, bro? You wouldn't believe me. (TYRES SCREECH, MEN EXCLAIM, CAR WHIRRS) (BOTH LAUGH) (CLICKING) What makes you happy ` getting stuff done? Well, you can tick loads off the list with the Hilux SR5 Cruiser. Lifting, shifting, carrying ` done. Hauling, towing, lugging ` sorted. And you'll get safety sorted too with Toyota Safety Sense technology, like... Plus, with slick 18-inch alloy wheels and heated front leather seats, the good looks are done and dusted too. Your choice of two- or four-wheel drive from just 46,490 drive-away. (BABY BABBLES) Good doesn't need to be complicated. That's why at Karicare Toddler we focus on nutrition and leave out the added preservatives. Karicare Toddler milk - only what matters. * When I was starting doing stand-up, the way that people talked about improv and the green room at the Classic (CHUCKLES) made me never wanna admit that I've done improv. (LAUGHS) Maybe improv is, like, the uncool sibling of comedy. You know, like stand-up being the golden boy, and improv was, like, a bit` the nerdy, gay young son or whatever, but still a valid member of the family nonetheless. Theatre sports, improv comedy was my first real exposure to comedy in New Zealand. I think there's that tendency to think of Auckland or Wellington as being, like, the heart of New Zealand comedy. But down in Christchurch, we were doing our own thing and had no idea about anyone else and just had this flourishing, thriving comedy scene that was based around improv rather than stand-up. And I think it's completely undervalued in the impact that it's had on our current comedy scene. A new event is taking New Zealand theatres by storm. It's called Theatre Sports and combines the drama of theatre with the competitiveness of team sports. There are no rehearsals, no scripts, only 15 seconds preparation, and then they're on. I really loved it. Like, we were terrible at it, but it was really... really fun. It got off with a hiss and a roar with theatre sports, which had big corporate backing. Actually, they got a million dollars in sponsorship from United Building Society. From the James Hay Theatre Christchurch... Welcome to the first-ever United Theatre Sports National Finals! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) And we had a song. It was like, (SINGS) 'It's United Theatre Sports. It's United Theatre Sports.' And we used to sing that at the end of the competition. # I love you so. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) # And I want you # because you've got the kingdom in your hand. # (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) Theatre sports has had a huge impact on secondary schools. That was the first inkling I had that I was into performing and I was into acting and I was into making people laugh. So it started in schools, and then it went through the Court Theatre with the Court Jesters. The thing to do in Christchurch on a Friday night was, like, you and your friends would go down to the Court Theatre and watch Scared Scriptless. So, the Court Jesters started in 1989, started by Michael Robinson, a Canadian, and we started a late-night Friday improv show that still runs to this day. They must be the longest-running improvisational show in New Zealand. And it trained me. It trained me how to be funny and how to read an audience, and it made me really fearless, because if I forget what I'm supposed to say, I can make something up. Initially, it was like, 'How are they doing this?' And then it was like, 'I wanna be up there with them.' There are groups popping up. Like, there's a new group now in Palmerston North call Spontaneous who wasn't there before. There's the Improvisers in Wellington. Then we have Auckland Theatre Sports ` Clare Kelso had a lot to do with that in Auckland. There's a group called Wit in Wellington. There's Improsaurus in Dunedin. There's different groups all over the country. The Improv Band that's in Auckland. I must mention them as well, who've been doing stuff for ages as well. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) Right, I've been picked to host. (LAUGHTER) Here's Chris Parker on toothpaste. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) So, Snort is a comedy improvisational show that happens on a Friday night at the Basement Theatre. And we do improv. And there's a staple of around 14 people. Yeah. ALL: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And each night, we have about eight people ` six to eight or sometimes more, sometimes five when we're desperate. Snort is, like, invaluable to me. I mean, we have these ridiculous tattoos. It's a total nightmare. When you think about it being quite culty, I guess... It is, in a way. I guess it is. It was real nice of you. You haven't spoken to me in a while. Hey, um, sorry, guys. Can you please stop talking? We're in a movie. Donna Brookbanks went down to do a play the Court Theatre, and she started doing Scared Scriptless. She was killing it. And she was like... 'Auckland needs, like, an improv show.' 'Why isn't there anything like this in Auckland?' And Donna was, like` put the messages out and was like, 'Hey, I'm gonna host, like, a Friday night comedy night.' It was called Snort, and the briefing about it was like,... 'Drinks, music, comedy,' and there was, like, a woman being like, snorting or something. It was kind of life-changing, because it was kind of a thing where they were like, 'Oh, come along to this workshop thing we're doing. It's, like, an improv thing.' And I was like, 'All right.' Laura Daniel would have been there. I'd done a few improv shows, but I never thought I was, like, that good at it. (LAUGHS) I think cos it was $5, a million people showed up. Like, we sold out the first show. I hosted it. James Roque and Kip Chapman did the monologues. It went surprisingly well. And it's just never stopped since then. Who would have thought that improv comedy would be a cool thing to do on a Friday night? It feels more official to other people on the outside than what it is to be on the inside. We have no idea what we're doing. It's like the blind leading the blind slightly. Exactly. Shut up, guys. She's with me. ...no, the cleanest teeth in town. Sparkle McSparkle. (LAUGHTER) So bright. But what Snort is now is... a group of people, a collective, who meet together on a Friday night to do comedy together, but also support and rise each other up in this comedy industry. All of those people involved in that troupe have now gone on to either be on or write our best comedy products. When I was starting out, every job I ever got was through people in Snort. You know, Eli and I made the Male Gayz; Alice and Rose made Boners of the Heart; Nick and Joseph made the Walk Out Boys ` those are all podcasts. It was Nick who I sent my scripts to, to get on Jono and Ben. It was, you know, Laura who I ran my first-ever raw set by. And, you know, the cast of Snort, essentially, wrote Funny Girls, like... (LAUGHS) Everything I've ever done has been developed by people who were involved in that group. We all, like, kept working together and, I'd say, pulling each other up, ideally. I mean, I wanna kill lots of them all the time. You know, we fight all the time. But, like, I love them so dearly, and they're, like, such a family and, like, a support group that meant if I was doing stand-up, there are gonna be six people in the audience who are my friends who want me to do well. It's an incredible network. It's the most powerful` I feel like the most powerful comedy network around. To put it simply, I don't think I would be where I am without Snort. And that's basically what I feel about groups and the importance of, kind of, those little communities, I suppose, within comedy. And it's that kind of pure enjoyment of what you're doing and what you're saying with your friends, because we're trying to outdo each other; we're trying to make each other laugh. In the comedy industry, there's no, like, pathway; there's no set way to do things; there's no school; there's no degree in comedy. No. There's no, like, you know, department of comedy in government. And I think what I find comforting is, like, knowing that I've got this home base of this network of people that I can turn back to. And have a support group outside. There was always` Everyone would be around going, 'It's all right, Corby.' 'It's all right, mate.' 'Don't worry about it, mate.' I don't remember that. It was normally like, 'Wow, Corby. Smashed it.' That's what I remember. Really? Yeah. Where were you? I don't remember that at all. You don't remember? How much of what I've said is gonna make it into the show? Who else are you interviewing, by the way? Is there other`? You've got other comedians as well? Jemaine ` did you ask him about me? Are there any episodes about drama? I need this for my career. If I could be in this as much as possible, please. Because I am free to talk about my dramatic career. Oh, I could probably come in on the edit, if you like, and maybe help you chop it up and... What about if we negotiate a little bit more if I do a dance or something?