(LIGHT, JAZZY THEME MUSIC) Captions by Kristin Williams. Edited by Starsha Samarasinghe. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2020 (BELL TOLLS) (GRACEFUL MUSIC) (STAPLER SNAPS) Today I'm giving Fehi a lesson on how to drive the silver left-hand Cadillac hearse. So, we're gonna place the elephant over here, and I'll secure it somewhat, and when we get back, we wanna make sure the elephant's in the same place, and that'll tell me about your driving. 'When you're driving a tupapaku in the hearse, 'you drive in a manner that is graceful because you don't really want the body to, you know, 'get to your venue and you take the lid off and, hello, the body's upside down and all over the place.' I mean, look, what is it gonna take for this elephant to move? You know what I'm saying? And so, all we're saying is all the driving will be done so ceremoniously like this. Is that OK, dear? Mm-hm. Yeah. When I first learnt to drive the big, long Cadillac hearses, I learnt, you know, with nothing. I didn't have the chance to learn. It was just, 'Get in there and drive this hearse with a tupapaku in the back.' And so, it had me nervous the whole time, and I don't want Fehi to go through that. (INTRIGUING MUSIC) So, we're gonna go right around the roundabout and come back down Church St just to have a good feel for you. - It's OK. It's OK, dear. - (INDICATOR CLICKS) I love it how you've turned out, dear. It's wonderful. Oh my goodness. Fehi does extremely well. Lovely. Straight up? Yep. Beautiful. It's just about bringing her nerves down a little bit. And she sort of always gets nervous when I'm with her anyway, but I just want her to know that if there are mistakes to be made, let's make them now. (CURIOUS MUSIC) WHISPERS: Oh gosh. Other way. (CHUCKLES) Dear, are you OK? (CHUCKLES) Wait. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. I am going back. Is it reverse? Yeah. Yeah. Push hard on the accelerator. We didn't make the roundabout turn, and Fehi begins to panic a little bit. Yep. Yep. Go. Go. Yep. Stop there, dear. Sorry. Stop. That's OK. (CHUCKLES QUIETLY) Yep. Beautiful. These things happen. It's OK. (CHUCKLES) As a funeral director, in that situation you can't panic. Yes, there are people ` left, right, everywhere ` watching, but you've gotta keep your cool and just do what you need to do to get out of the situation. (CHUCKLES QUIETLY) You OK? (SIGHS) Yeah. No. Oh, God. At least they had a good laugh. Who? Those people. Were they laughing? Don't worry. Don't ever worry about what people are laughing about. At the end of the day, you have an elephant that needs to get to a funeral in a ceremonial matter, and that's what you're doing. We just need to check to make sure our elephant is still in the same position,... and is still alive. Yeah. Well, you know, cos it's my toy. Eyes are open. It's not dead. Let's do this. (DRUM ROLLS) Oh my God. (CHUCKLES) Oh. Wow. Oh, dear. And it's still there. You're a smooth operator. You know that. You're a good elephant. (GRACEFUL MUSIC) # Te Atua. # (GUITAR PLAYS) (SPEAKS TE REO MAORI) Auntie Chrissie is my nan's sister. She had severe dementia and rheumatic heart disease, but, ultimately, she died because of a fall she had whilst hopping out of the shower. # Te Atua. # Te mana hare... # Pop died last year, and now we've got Nan left. And with Auntie Chrissie's death occurring at this time, it's just so close to home. It's like` You know, Auntie Chrissie is our other nan. And so, you're like, 'Oh.' Auntie Chrissie, she loved the simple life. She loved all her nieces and nephews, and especially Uncle Fred. Yeah. (SPEAKS TE REO MAORI) Tena koe, Fred. Uncle Fred, he's got a bit of a personality. He's easy-going, and he loves everything Maori. # Whakaaria mai # Tou ripeka ki au # Tiaho mai. # Ra roto i te po. # Tonight, people have had the opportunity to share stories, to express their love, and I also have a story to share. - I remember at Poppa's birthday` Do you remember that, Nan? - (ALL LAUGH) And we had Auntie Chrissie on the top table, and so she was eating, and she must have taken her teeth out and put them on the plate there. And what happened was when the ringawera cleared the plates, they were gone into the rubbish. - (ALL LAUGH) - And so, she came running around to the` 'Francis. Francis, where's the rubbish?' I said, 'What for?' - and she goes, 'I think my teeth are in the rubbish bin.' - (ALL LAUGH) So, we went digging through the rubbish bin, and we found the teeth. I said, 'Stop. I've gotta take a photo of this,' and took a photo of that, of her teeth in the bin. And now she's` And then she got back, and I said, 'Auntie, keep your teeth with you,' you know? - Well, anyway, last night came about. - (ALL LAUGH) We picked Auntie up from the hospital, and as we left we went around to her house in Swanson. We took the hearse; got her some clothes; Uncle Fred gave her teeth to Nan; Nan put them in her pocket; and we went to go to our embalmer to prepare Auntie. And then we were over here, organising the mattresses, and Fred rings up, 'Oh, nephew.' I said, 'Hi, Uncle.' He goes, 'Oh, have you got Auntie's teeth?' I said, 'Well, yeah. They should be in her mouth.' - 'Oh. Those are mine. I've got hers. I need to swap.' (LAUGHS) - (ALL LAUGH) I said, 'Uncle Fred, I've been doing this for 15 years, and that one is the best one ever.' But, luckily enough, our experienced embalmers figured out that these teeth were so wide that they were not hers. Tonight, after the service, we'll eat together. Auntie Chrissie will remain in the chapel with whanau for the night, and then, in the morning, we've got a big road trip back to Pawarenga. * Our marae is the very last marae in Pawarenga, and it's right at the end of the road on the Whangape Harbour. (POIGNANT MUSIC) To get on to the marae, we have to drive along the beach. And, thankfully, today we have a low tide. (HORNS TOOT CONTINUOUSLY) When we arrive near the marae with our tupapaku ` and in this instance, with our Auntie Chrissie ` the tradition is to toot the horn to alert the locals that we're on our way through and we're a few minutes away. (HORN TOOTS) One, two, three, up. Watch this. There's a bit of concrete here. Keep coming back. Keep coming back. We'll straighten up towards the door. Yeah. We'll walk over there under the waharao, eh. Today, as we take Auntie on to the marae, my two favourite kaikaranga are calling each other ` my cousin Krystal who sends shivers down my spine and my wife who takes me somewhere else with her reo. (KRYSTAL CALLS IN TE REO MAORI) Karanga is so powerful, and I love how wahine perform it. (KRYSTAL AND KAIORA CALL IN TE REO MAORI) She is calling our Auntie Chrissie. She is calling all of our ancestors, our tupuna, to join us as we enter and walk on to the marae. (POIGNANT MUSIC) (WOMAN PRAYS IN TE REO MAORI) (WOMAN PRAYS IN TE REO MAORI) ALL: Amene. Even though we're going back on to our own marae with our own whanau, we still adhere to our tikanga for the formalities at the beginning. (SPEAKS TE REO MAORI) (FAMILY SINGS IN TE REO MAORI) Once the formalities have finished and the speech-making has been done, we'll go through and greet one another with a hongi, hariru and a kihi. Yep. (CHUCKLES) (CHUCKLES) As a whanau, we'll spend the next two nights sleeping on the wharenui, waiting for Thursday for the funeral, the burial day. (MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC) Some of the problems you face when sleeping in the marae is not getting any sleep at all. Snoring is a problem. Farting. But when it comes to close whanau, you have to do what you have to do. And we're in Pawarenga. The closest hotel is, what, an hour away? (GRACEFUL MUSIC) Last night wasn't very good. Um, unfortunately, I picked the wrong spot, sleeping next to someone who was quite loud. Not that they would've known what they were creating. Oh, are those your gumboots? No. These are your gumboots. Where's your ones? Um, they're inside the car. 'Today, we are taking some time out to go and bury our baby Francis, his whenua ` or his placenta ` back home at my nan's whare where our other children's placentas are buried as well. This is our home where I grew up with Nan and Pop. You know, Nan has a shower in the house now. When I was growing up, we had the bathtub out the front, like, you know, on the` where the road is, and so, we bathed out there. But it was about timing, so, Nan would boil the water from the gas stove, put it in there, and then you'd have a look outside to see, you know, the cars coming. No cars. Jump in there quickly, have a horoi and then come back inside and dry ourselves. So, we all took turns in the bathtub. All right. Shall we go and` Yeah. Let's do this thing. We'll go and bury this whenua. I'm gonna take it out of the paper bag and put it straight in, eh? I'm feeling excited and blessed that we're burying baby Francis' whenua today. I love being in Nan's home. It's so homely, you know? And it reminds me of the simple life. CHILD: Gonna fall down. Oh my goodness. This isn't a cemetery, is it? It's a big digger. That's a big one. (CHILD SQUEALS) No, I think that's from a` What do you call it? A beef. Beef. You know from the dog when he buried the bone? It was a beef! 'If you look at the name the placenta or what` 'Maori have given that name the 'whenua', it's only right that it goes back to the whenua.' OK. Titiro. (SLOW PIANO MUSIC) Oh, somebody's quiet. (CHUCKLES) Yeah. I think he enjoyed that. Mm. (BABY MURMURS) Yeah. (CHUCKLES) In the long run, when these children get older, wherever they are in the world, they will know where their whenua is, and that is their home. Oh. (GRACEFUL MUSIC) Good to meet you. Welcome. I'm glad you made it here. Oh my gosh. Did the Google get you here? Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. All this way. For people who've never been on to a marae, there are a lot of things that you need to know. Are you comfortable kissing the body? Yep. Yep. You're all right? OK. Lovely. So, we'll go up, you can kiss the body and then go around to Fred and everyone. And I'll lead you all right, eh? And do you know how to hongi? But that's why we're there to help, to guide them through. Yeah. And when she starts calling, we walk slowly. Before we get there, we take our shoes off, eh? (KRYSTAL CALLS IN TE REO MAORI) Shoes off. Oh, yeah. There are things like you needing to take your shoes off; going straight to the front to pay your respects to the tupapaku first; you know, how to hongi; who to kiss and who not to kiss. All those sorts of` Where to sit. (CHILD SQUEALS) (MAN SPEAKS TE REO MAORI) And so, it's important that our guests don't feel uncomfortable or unwelcome, so we wanna make them welcome and put them at ease to say, 'Hey, you may feel a bit scared, a bit nervous, a bit anxious, 'but we're gonna walk you through this together, so that you wanna come back to a marae.' * - # Pawarenga... - (LAUGHTER) # Karanga. Karanga e te iwi e. # When I was a child growing up on the marae, I did love it. I loved being with my cousins and whanau because, obviously, when there's a tangihanga everyone, sort of, came together. (CHUCKLES) This is the Pawarenga Sky City. The one in Kaitaia. (CHUCKLES) (MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC) My nan and my Auntie Mere, they're the sharks of the card games. And so, everyone, sort of, shies away from playing with them, and those who wanna take them on, good luck. (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) What happened? (LAUGHTER) What you up to? First time I played, I was doing so well for the first couple of rounds, and then, boom, Auntie skunked me with all my money. (CHUCKLES) (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) No, it` No, it's not mine. I'm not touching any of it. I've learnt my lesson playing with Nan and then, and I'm not gonna play with them again. (CHUCKLES) Dinnertime is my favourite time of the evening ` of the whole stay, to be honest because, again, the kai is quite a nostalgic time. You know, it takes you back to your childhood and what you used to eat. Whoa. Yummy. Can I have some sugar? Wait. Wait for Mamma. Despite having all this beautiful kai, my little son Mihaka, he wants his Weet-Bix. (SCOFFS) Oh, I feel so spoilt. My little niece Kura, she's a good eater, that girl. And, actually, my son Mihaka can learn a few things from here. Oh, baby girl, look at you eat! (CHUCKLES) Good girl. Give her a chicken or whatever, and she'll go to town. (GRACEFUL MUSIC) (INSECTS CHIRP) (MAN CHANTS IN TE REO MAORI) We're back inside the wharenui preparing for evening prayers, and my uncle Nick Adams has asked me to do the special chant or the special himene. (FAMILY CHANTS IN TE REO MAORI) You don't really argue with him, so I grabbed the book really quickly, had a quick practice and just let it rip and gave it my all and tried not to get emotional cos quite easy to get emotional with the himene a nga tupapaku. (FRANCIS CHANTS IN TE REO MAORI) (FAMILY CHANTS IN TE REO MAORI) Tonight we have the last night, and tonight we're going to share or pass around the tokotoko, which is like a walking stick. And when you receive the tokotoko, it's your time to stand and share your korero, your love for Auntie or your stories. So, this will wrap up the night beautifully. (INSECTS CHIRP) (ELEGANT PIANO MUSIC) (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) Today is the funeral day, the burial day for Auntie Chrissie, and so we all need to prepare ourselves to move up to the St Gabriel's Church. I'm feeling aroha for Uncle Fred. You know, his best friend, his love, he's saying his final goodbyes to her. ...show also your compassion for your people in their sorrows. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amene. (POIGNANT MUSIC) St Gabriel's Church is an historic church in Pawarenga, and that's where all our loved ones are buried, in that cemetery. (BELL TOLLS) CHILD: What is that noise? (CONGREGATION CHANTS IN TE REO MAORI) (ELDER SPEAKS TE REO MAORI) Tangihanga is all about whanau coming together to help one another get through this mourning and this grieving process together. I think Auntie Chrissie would have loved her service. It had everyone she loved there. And it wasn't too full-on, like Auntie Chrissie. That just wasn't her. And so, it all fell in line with her characteristics and who she was. I think she'd be very happy with her final moments she had with us. (LIGHT, JAZZY THEME MUSIC) Captions by Kristin Williams. Edited by Starsha Samarasinghe.