- Mm-mm. - Bathers. - Never live that down. - Nah. (CHUCKLES) - That was delicious. - MAN: Last time I buy it for you. - WOMAN: Yeah. (LAUGHS) - Uh-oh. Here comes the bill. Everyone hide. - (LAUGHTER) - Thank you. All right, let's check out the damage. Whoa. - Mm. - Those tapas really add up. - Mm. - So, how should we do this? Should we just split it four ways? - BOTH, CHUCKLING: Oh. Um... - Uh, we thought we'd cover for ourselves. - Yeah. - You know, we` we ate before we came here, and we didn't really have any of the tapas. - Yeah, and I just, um, had the one wine, so I'll get that. Um... - Oh, great. Well, that saves us all some money. So we'll just go quarters, minus Sarah's wine. How much was your wine, Sarah? - Uh, why don't we just let everyone pay for themselves, babe? (CHUCKLES UNCOMFORTABLY) - Oh, I mean, we could, but, you know, I don't think it's a good idea. What with the economy and everything. SIGHS: Probably shouldn't risk it. - Uh, what d'you mean by that? - Oh, it's economics 101. If we all don't start spending more money, then we'll crash the economy. - How does that work? - Oh, please don't start talking about the economy. (CHUCKLES UNCOMFORTABLY) - Well, he did ask the question, love. (CHUCKLES) Better answer his question, or it'd be rude. So, if people don't spend money, then companies can't make money, and they can't pay the employees. Right? And then people lose their jobs. Also known as...? A recession. So you'll lose your job. I'll lose my job. They'll lose their job. So, I mean, is that really what you want? It's... - I just don't think that us paying for your tapas is gonna help save the economy. (CHUCKLES) - (CHUCKLES) D'you think I'm making this up? Would I make this up? Garcon! Yes. - Yep? - 'Scuse me. Um, you're fired. - Oh` - What? Why? - Because Sarah here doesn't wanna contribute to the economy. - But how does that affect me? - Good question. See this chicken drumstick? This is the New Zealand dollar,... - Mm-hm? - ...and this bowl here is the exchange rate. Now, what happens is... when the Reserve Bank increases the official cash rate, GDP drops,... - (CLANG!) - ...and the exchange rate decreases relevant to unemployment, which is this hummus. Yeah? Mm-hm? - So the pepper shaker's the government debt? - No, the fork's the government debt. - I thought the fork was the Reserve Bank. - No, because the risotto is Reserve Bank, isn't it? - What's that bowl, then? - Uh, this bowl is the interest rate. - Yes. - And the more chicken there is on this plate, the higher inflation is? - Bingo! Yup. Yup. - Oh! And, uh, a cash injection into the local economy... - Mm-hm. - ...means that unemployment goes down... - Yup. - ...and we all get to keep our jobs. - Yes! But only if we all start to increase spending right now. Yeah? - (ALL MUTTER ASSENT) - Over that? - Yeah, great. - Great. - You know? It all makes sense. - Very good. Well, looks like the bill is taken care of. Think I left my wallet in the car. I'm just gonna... duck out. - (CHAIR SCRAPES BACK) - Nice. Good work, everybody. - (ALL MUTTER AGREEMENT) - (CACKLES) (CACKLES) - Sometimes the economy seems confusing on purpose. So let's unconfuse it! - (SCREAMS) - # The Citizen's Handbook. # The Citizen's Handbook. # Mm, # mm, # mm. # - Here's what you need to know about the New Zealand economy. For the last hundred years or so, the government has made all its decisions about how to run the economy based on a simple idea ` finding a balance between two bad things. Those bad things are inflation ` how expensive everything is getting ` and unemployment ` how many of us are out of a job. If the seesaw tips too far on the unemployment end, you're in a recession, and it's super hard to get any work. And if it tips too far on the inflation end, you're heading towards hyperinflation, and a loaf of bread costs a hundred times what it cost yesterday, even when it's on special. Those are both bad outcomes, so the government tries to keep the seesaw nice and flat, because a flat seesaw is a safe seesaw and, in many ways, just a bench. So how do they do that? First of all ` recessions! This is what a recession looks like. It's like the recycling symbol, but evil. Recessions happen when people stop buying things, so companies don't want to make things, which means that they don't want to hire people, so people have less money, so now they really don't want to buy things and companies really don't want to hire people, and people have even less money. If it gets really bad, this whole spinny cycle turns a recession into a depression. But on the plus side, you might finally get a chance to see that friend from school you said you'd catch up with, because neither of you have jobs any more. Although, obviously, neither of you will be able to pay for the coffee. And also, the cafe has gone out of business. - (PROJECTOR SCREEN RATTLES) - The people who try to stop us tipping into Recession Town... - No, no, no, no, no, no... - Pull up. Pull up. Pull up. Pull up. Pull up! - ...are the Reserve Bank and the Ministry of Finance and their mates at the Treasury. Because the Ministry of Finance writes the budget, they decide how much tax everyone has to pay and how much the government's gonna spend. If they're trying to prevent a recession, they want people to buy more stuff, and a good way to get people to buy more stuff is to give them money. So if there's a recession on the horizon, the Ministry of Finance might wanna slip some cash into people's pockets by either cutting taxes or just making up some unnecessary jobs, like official dog-patter or public-tree-appreciator or road-builder or web series host. And then there's the Reserve Bank. They're part of the government, but they're also kind of a free spirit, and they do their own thing. So when they see a recession on the horizon, the Reserve Bank can pop the hood of the economy and grab some tools and have a little tinker. The Reserve Bank is sort of like the banks bank. They magic money into existence and loan it out to the normal banks, and the main tool they have to tip the seesaw is the official cash rate. And I know that sounds boring, and it is. I don't wanna talk about it either, but it's important, so we have to. The OCR determines how expensive it is for normal banks to get a loan from the Reserve Bank. So if the OCR is low, then it's cheaper for banks to get loans, which means it's probably cheaper for you to get a loan from the bank. So you do get a loan, and you spend more money. If we're tipping towards a recession and the Reserve Bank wants everyone to spend more, they'll lower the OCR to make it easier for you to get a loan. People start throwing cash around again, the seesaw starts tipping away from Recession Town, and everyone breathes a sigh of relief. (INHALES) (SIGHS) But wait! Stop everything! What if the seesaw tips too far the other way? What if the seesaw is tipping towards... Hyperinflation City? It's time for another cycle. Yay! - (PROJECTOR WHIRRS) - Inflation happens when people ask for higher wages and employers decide to put their prices up to pay for them. But that makes everything more expensive, so employees ask for higher wages again, and employers put prices up again, and so on, and so on, and so on, and if your groceries cost twice as much as last week and you can't ask for a pay rise fast enough to pay for them, then congratulations ` welcome to Hyperinflation City! I hope you're ready for some physical labour, because you are now carrying around a wheelbarrow of cash just to pay for a single delicious Fanta. - (PROJECTOR SCREEN RATTLES) - So, how does the government keep us out of Hyperinflation City? Easy! They do the opposite of what they did last time. In hyperinflation, prices are skyrocketing, so the government wants people to spend less money. The Ministry of Finance does this by sucking money out of the system, either by spending less on government stuff and/or raising taxes ` which seems mean, but they're just trying to keep your groceries affordable. Meanwhile, at the Reserve Bank, they're getting people to spend less by raising the OCR. Now it's more expensive for banks to get loans, so it's more expensive for people to get loans from the bank, so people start being more careful with their cash; companies have to stop raising their prices and wages catch up again. The seesaw swings back to neutral. That's the theory ` the government is fiddling with taxes, spending and the OCR to try and find a balance somewhere between recession and hyperinflation. They want to make sure you can get a job but still afford groceries and the occasional treat. I mean, that's the general idea. I mean, it's more complicated than this, but to be honest, I barely understand it myself. Now, you might be asking ` 'If there's more money in the economy but wages aren't going up, 'where's all that extra money going? 'And is rising inequality an inevitable part of the system? 'And if you became Minister of Finance, 'how much money would you give me? 'And that seesaw thing is a nice metaphor and all, 'but is it actually true?' Those are questions that economists are asking themselves. They don't have all the answers. The most important thing is that the economy is making you happy. And if it isn't, get the government to change it. After all, they work for you. You're the boss. You're a citizen. - # The Citizen's Handbook. - I mean, good job on that. Nice one. - # Mm, # mm, - Kia ora, ladies and gentlemen. Now, I know it's been a big week for New Zealand on the world stage, and I'm sure you have a lot of questions, so we will just crack straight into it. Deborah. - Uh, good morning, Minister. Um, is there any truth to the claims that New Zealand was involved in the recent botched UN mission that destroyed a Syrian power station? - Absolutely not. We wouldn't have gone anywhere near that, OK? Ian. - Morning, Minister. Did New Zealand have anything to do with the takeover of the ISIL stronghold in Deir ez-Zor? - Yeah, so, that was us. We have actually been positively capturing a lot of strongholds lately, from your mild-strongs to your` to your Kiwi hot. (LAUGHS) - In light of recent revelations, uh, have there been any changes to the New Zealand food aid programme in North Korea? - Ye-es. Yep. Uh, it's... Well, yes, of course. It has... increased? - Even though the food's being diverted to the military leaders? - Oh, here we go. What I was trying to say, Claire, is, uh, what we've done is actually increase... (SWALLOWS) our food by, uh, positively decreasing what we're sending to North Korea. - What about the increase in World Bank loans to the Ukraine? - Yes! That was us! That was absolutely, positively us. Thank you, Ian. - You know, that's not a good thing. That money's going to the ministers so they can build mansions. - OK, well, that probably helped the local construction industry. I mean, more jobs for them. - Sorry, no ` the contractors were actually Kiwi. - Wh`? - Yeah, there's a recording of them making the deal. We all listened to it before we came here today. - All of you? - ALL: Yeah. - There's, like, a remix of it. That's how popular it is. - OK. And, uh, that recording ` is it audio or visual? - Uh, just audio. - Oh, see? There you go! It's probably just Australians just trying to be Kiwis. Our accents are very close. Look at this ` here's me talking like this, (NASALISED) and here's me talkin' like an Aussie. (NORMAL VOICE) So... (BLOWS RASPBERRY) - What about the bomb strike on the school? - What?! Wow. No. How dare you? - Well, it was holidays, so the only people harmed were the rebels who were hiding inside. - Good rebels, bad rebels? - I suppose broadly considered bad. - Well, then that's fine, then! Then, yes, we were part of it! REPROACHFULLY: Guys. What I want you to do is ask me the full question, OK? Don't leave out any bits, so that I know how to answer properly straight away. Mm-kay? - Minister, if I could just` - No! Not you. Absolutely not. Look away. Look down. You know what, guys, actually? Time out. (SIGHS) What's going on? This is New Zealand. This is a great place to live. We are the good guys. Yeah? We've got Jacinda, Che Fu, Valerie Adams. Yeah? Grass, rugby, Shortland Street, Country Calendar, Tux ` keeps them full of life. Lotto. Tip-Top. Lick the cone. It's dripping. Barbies ` dolls and BBQs. - There` Um` - Yes? You wanna add something? - Sunscreen? - Thank you. Does anyone else wanna say one? Do you have one? - Sorry, I wasn't listening. - OK, I'll spell it out for you guys ` we are the good guys. If it was a good thing that happened, then, yes, we were a part of it. Negative story happens ` mm-mm! Mm, can't even see it. I'm blind to it. Here's a negative story. Don't look! We're not in it! SIGHS: Right. Now, I have to go on and sign heaps of papers with some Russians, so I'll see you later. - Uh, Russians? - (MUTTERING) - Actually, sorry ` where are we at with the Russians? - (ALL CLAMOUR) - The world's not going great right now. Climate change is on the way, democracy's on the way out, and there's nothing you can do about it, right? Wrong! You're part of a country. And for better or worse, that country is New Zealand, so it's time to figure out how to use that country to make the world a better place. And we don't have much time, so play the intro! - # The Citizen's Handbook. # # The Citizen's Handbook. # Mm, # mm, # mm. # - How does New Zealand interact with the rest of the world? We know that other countries laugh at our silly accent, but do they actually hate us, or are they just doing it as friends? Well, to understand why our foreign affairs work the way they do, let's do a whistle-stop tour of New Zealand's history of interacting with the rest of the world. Before Aotearoa was colonised by the British, it was run by a collection of independent iwi. They traded and convened and had little battles all over Te Ika-a-Maui and Te Waipounamu. When they got big European-style ships, they formed the United Tribes of New Zealand and picked out a flag and extended their trade empire out to Australia. And when the Brits started outstaying their welcome, iwis sent envoys over to London to try and get some sense out of the King and Queen themselves. But once we got sucked into the Commonwealth, New Zealand's foreign policy was officially run by the British. Because who better to make big policy decisions for us than a country on the literal opposite side of the planet? Then Britain dragged us into the First World War, and even immigrants fresh off the boat from the UK started to think that the British might not have New Zealand's best interests at heart ` partly because of Gallipoli and the whole sending-thousands-of-people-off- to-die-for-no-clear-reason thing. From that point on, New Zealand started to think that maybe running our own international relations would help keep more New Zealanders alive, and by 1943, we had our very own Department of External Affairs. Meanwhile, New Zealand had been doing some colonising of its own, because just because you're cute and little doesn't mean you can't be evil. After the First World War, we occupied Western Samoa and imposed our own laws, arresting people who didn't like the laws and opening fire on Samoans peacefully demonstrating for their own independence. During the influenza pandemic of 1918, New Zealand administrators also failed to quarantine an infected ship, killing 8500 Samoans as a result, which was more than a fifth of the population at the time. And it wasn't just Samoa. We also colonised the Cook Islands, Niue and Tokelau, so people who live there now are New Zealand citizens, and we run their foreign policy ` just like the British did for us, because that worked so well (!) - # The Citizen's Handbook. # - # Mm. # - By 1951, we'd joined a security treaty with Australia and the United States called the... Because names are difficult. And by 1986, America had kicked us out again because we told them to park their nuclear ships somewhere else, thank you very much. And that brings us to today! So, let's check in on our international relationships. Well, we still have an extremely close relationship with Australia, because they're just over there. According to the Australian Constitution, we can become part of Australia whenever we want. No one has yet come up with a good reason for ever doing that, but the offer's on the table if we get desperate. We're also still part of the Commonwealth, which is made up of all the countries Britain colonised who still want to be associated with Britain for some reason. The Commonwealth includes Australia, South Africa, India and 49 other countries who aren't as good at cricket. The Commonwealth doesn't have much actual power, but it's nice to be in a group. It means you can do symbolic things to try and improve the world, like kicking countries out if they abuse too many human rights, Zimbabwe. It also means we can take part in a much easier version of the Olympics. We also have a special relationship with the UK, the US, Canada and Australia. All our spies share their spy secrets with each other in a great big group chat called The Five Eyes. Another group we're in is bloody massive, and it's called the United Nations, or UN, or 'un'. The United Nations exists because some issues ` like climate change ` require as many countries as possible to sit around the table and figure out what to do. There are 193 countries who are part of the UN, so it's got some power. But it doesn't do as much as it could, mostly because there are five countries ` France, China, the UK, Russia and the US ` who are allowed to veto whatever substantial resolution they want, even if the other 188 countries reckon it's a brilliant idea. Our main strategists when it comes to international relations are the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade, or 'Mm-fat', who have ambassadors posted in embassies all over the place. Those embassies are filled with busy little diplomats running around trying to understand what's going on in their host countries, sharing New Zealand's hot takes on whatever's going down and trying to convince them that New Zealand is awesome and they should do everything we want them to do. 'Mm-fat' also sends out a little bit of money to other nations, half of which we send to Polynesia, which is the least we could do. We welcome not that many immigrants and refugees compared to other countries, and we've got a military we send out every so often. And lastly, we've also got some free trade agreements to make sure people keep buying our pineapple lumps. It's hard work trying to stay friends with so many people, but it's more important than ever. Humanity is about to face catastrophic weather events, food shortages, disease, war and refugee crises because of climate change, and people in Western society have less faith and their institutions than ever before. Uh-oh. So we've gotta make some big decisions. Should we distance ourselves from America and cosy up to China, or can we somehow be friends with both? Do we need to set a better example if we're trying to get other countries to cut their carbon emissions? Which country has the coolest flag? And when we make those decisions, we have to think about how we're making them. Are the systems imposed by powerful people with guns from the past ` our systems of politics and justice and economics ` are they how we want to move forward? Do they make New Zealand a better community or the world a better place, or are we just doing them because we've been doing them for a while? I dunno. But the stakes are high, and they're global. Being a citizen comes with some good perks, but it's a tough gig. We've explained as much as we can. It's up to you to take it from here. So, citizen, whoever you are and whatever you believe, good luck. - # The Citizen's Handbook. # # mm, # mm, # mm. # Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air.