- We've been called out to a reported disappearance. Officer O'Leary is currently speaking with the missing person's girlfriend. - So, what was your boyfriend's name? - Noah. - OK. And can you tell me what actually happened? - We just came out of the shop, and we were having a vape. - Mm-hm. - And out of nowhere, this blur zoomed passed and, like, took Noah with him. - So, what do you mean by blur? - Like, it was, like, real blurry. I actually thought his vape had exploded or something, but it hadn't. - What had happened to his vape? - I don't know, but I really hope it's OK, cos it's a real good one. - Mm. - What was Noah wearing? - He had a stripy top, a black beanie, glasses,... - Mm-hm. - ...and he was smoking a vape. - Yeah. So, you've kind of just described every guy in Wellington. Can you think of anything that maybe, you know, sets him apart? - Um,... Oh, yeah, he's vegan. - O'Leary. CCTV. - Uh, look, sir, were you aware there was a kidnapping outside the front of your store earlier on today? OK, I'll take that as a yes. I'm just wondering if we could perhaps look at your security footage. I've noticed you've got a camera out the front there, so if we could have a look, that'd be great. Would that be OK? - BOTH: Take that as a yes. - The store owner has uploaded the footage now. We're just checking out the footage from earlier on today. - You should update your security system, mate. This one's a bit smudgy, isn't it? - No, that's not a smudge; something is swallowing him up! Captions by Able. www.able.co.nz ('WELLINGTON PARANORMAL' THEME MUSIC) (MUSIC BUILDS) (MUSIC CRESCENDOES) - I'm awake. - Thanks for that outburst, Minogue (!) Good afternoon, team. In the agenda today, Lindale Farm's most famous sheep, Betty, has gone missing. - Oh no. - In other news, I am looking for a flatmate, if anyone is keen to spread the news. - What are the details? - So, it's in Newlands. It is $230 a week. You'll get your own en suite and car park. And you'll be living with myself and Tinkles. Tinkles is my cat. Yes, Parker. - Does the $230 include bills? - The $230 includes internet and some utilities, such as toilet paper and cleaning products. - OK, I'll take it, then. - Well, no. It's not actually that, uh, simple. It's quite an involved process. There is quite a big waiting list, Parker. - I could give Parker a reference, character reference. - You've never lived with him. - No, no, but I've seen him at work. - All right. Look, please let's focus up. Spread the news and have a good day, everybody. Dismissed. OK. So, your missing hipster has turned out to be the third case just like it this week. The other two showed up feeling slightly disoriented and disturbed. (PHONE VIBRATES) Hold on. (CLEARS THROAT) Kia ora. Go for Sarge. Yep. Mm-hm. Right. Thank you. So, they've found your missing hipster. Also, another victim's turned up. He's waiting for you at the front desk. - BOTH: Copy that. - Mm. - So, I'd just come back from my shift at Neptune's. - The trendy fish and chip shop? How big are the chips there? - Oh, probably about that big. - By the scoop? - We don't need to know about the chips, sir. Can you just carry on describing what happened? - This spectre comes up and grabs me and goes, 'Hey, Wiremu. 'You're late.' And then draws on me. - Sorry - drew on you? - It's an upside-down I. - Well, it's right-side up from my perspective. - If you could just sit down and carry on. - So, I was, like, 'Well, don't draw on me, 'but also, my name's not Wiremu.' And it looked kind of sad. - Could you maybe describe this spectre in a bit more detail? - It looked really kind of screwed up, like it had been in an accident or something. But it was wearing a red-and-white stripy top, glasses and a beanie. (PHONE RINGS) - Sorry, mate. Kia ora, Officer O'Leary. - Paranormal office, let's go. Here. In 2001, almost 20 years to the day, six people travelling to the Wellington Sevens rugby game were killed in a car accident. As you may recall, the Wellington Sevens involved attendees wearing colourful and fun group-themed costumes, mainly big men in little dresses. The people that died that day, however, were all dressed in stripy tops, beanies and glasses, just like the two guys that you picked up and their kidnapper. - They're dressed like Wally from my favourite book, - 'Where's Wally?' - Uh, don't believe I'm familiar with that particular literature, Where Is Wally. - Oh, that's a type of literature where the reader is tasked with finding the character called Wally. He's the reason why I got into policing. - Why, cos you always found him? - No, I never found him. - You never found him? - I'm still working on the case. I'm actually working on a hunch that he doesn't actually exist in the book at all. - Interesting. I've had Parker track down the costume, and it's actually called Lost Traveller Glasses Man. - Mm. That's Wally. - Well, I think, perhaps for legal reasons, they've chosen to call the costume Lost Traveller Glasses Man. - Wally. - Well, I'd prefer if you called it Lost Traveller Glasses Man - legal reasons. - OK, look, how did these Wallies- How did the Lost Traveller Glasses Men die? - Good question. Their van crashed into another vehicle, containing people dressed as sexy crayons, but then flew off an off-ramp into the side a building. Fortunately, the sexy crayons escaped unharmed. - Slight digression here, Sarge, but can crayons be sexy? - Yes, they can be. They sure can be. Yes, they can. - Sarge. - Yeah. Uh, yeah, that's, uh... that's not what is important here. There is a spirit at loose, trying to drag the living into the realm of the dead. So I want the two of you to get out there and- - ...look for this Wally. - (CLEARS THROAT) - No. - Oh yeah. - ALL: The Lost Traveller Glasses Man. - Thank you. - Used to love the Sevens. This is bringing back so many great memories. - I can't think of anything worse, to be honest. - What do you mean? Hanging out with your mates, wearing a costume. - Well, what was your costume? - Policeman. - What?! And then you became a real police officer? - No, I was already a police officer when I started going to the Sevens. - So you were already a police officer, and then you'd hire a police costume every year? - I wore this one. It was actually me and four other police officers. Turns out these are quite realistic. And they saved us a whole bunch of money; it just got a bit difficult when we'd go into town afterwards. And people would want me to help them, but I was off duty. (LAUGHS) - So, well, we're back here at the scene where the disappearance, then reappearance, occurred last night; just on the lookout for anything suspicious, specifically anyone who's a ghost, wearing a stripy top, beanie and glasses. I mean, I'm here on Manners St. I mean, it's pretty quiet, give or take, but hopefully, Minogue's having a bit more luck up at Left Bank. - So, I'm down here at Left Bank, on the hunt for our suspect or suspects. As you can see, it's a very busy night. There's a lot of people around, which makes it a tougher job on me, so it could be difficult to spot him. We could actually be in for quite a long night. Oh, there he is. Huh. That was really quick. Generally, when you're looking for Wally, it takes forever. In fact, I've never found him before, so I'm actually pretty happy. Quite possibly my shortest-lived victory to date. Oh, no, there he is. Excuse me, sir. Got some questions for you. Where have you been tonight? - None of your business. - You seem a little bit worse for wear. Are you OK? - Yeah, fine. - OK, well, just gonna let you know that you match the description of someone we've been looking for in relation to a certain incident. We'll be taking you down to the police station for further questioning. - Oh, dumb. - So, we've managed to find the suspect very early on the night, which is fantastic news for us. We'll be able to get him down to the station, get the questioning done and hopefully, get to the bottom of this in quick time. (UNSETTLING MUSIC) No, there he is. Stop that Wally! * So, still no sign of our suspect. We've been trudging around for hours now, and no sign of him. Feels like a waste of time, to be honest. Oh, there he is. Excuse me. It's not him. - Argh! - (LAUGHS) - Stop! Police! - Yeah! - You all right, mate? Another upside-down I. - You all right, sir? - STRAINS: Yeah. I'm fine. - OK, obviously looks not fine - quite intoxicated, in fact; and matches the description of the suspect or suspects - stripy top; that kind of thing - so we'll go check it out. You guys can stay back. We don't know - this might be a ghost, OK? Wait there. Excuse me. - Are you OK, sir? - Yeah, I'm fine. OK, you're actually not OK. I mean, look - your vomit's glowing. That's certainly not good. Well, you seem to have some sort of alcoholic, sort of, beverage adhered to each of your hands. - Scrumpy hands. - OK. Well, I'm gonna have to ask you to put your Scrumpy hands where I can see them. So turn around, please. You're under arrest for public intoxication. - Starting to lose patience with this guy, to be honest. Oh, there he is. Excuse me, sir. I'm starting to lose patience with you. (SPOOKY MUSIC) - Now, if you stay still- - If you're doing the front way, maybe I could get a- - No, actually, you're right. Because you won't sit in the car otherwise. - Well, you stay behind. I'll go behind. You're in charge. - Can you turn around, please? OK, I'm starting to get slightly frustrated. - Me too. - Why are you getting frustrated? Can you come back, please? - Oh, sorry. - We're not playing games here, OK? - I'm not playing games. Epic fail! (LAUGHS) OK, sorry. OK, go ahead. Go ahead. We'll, I'll do it. OK. - You're actually making a fool of yourself now. - I can actually do it better than you. Look - boom. - OK, well, that's actually OK. - Just like that. Boom. - Thank you. Thank you. I just need to radio my partner now. - Sorry. I got- - Shh. Thank you. In you get. Mind your head. (CHEERING) - There he is! - OK, OK, OK, quiet in the back, you Wallys. - Sit back, please. Sit back, please. Thank you. - Make it click! - Have you seen my mate Wiremu? - No. - Hey, when we get to the station and we get photos, can we keep the photos afterwards, so we can show our friends we got arrested? - That'd be all right, eh? - No. Hang on a second. Do you realise it's not actually cool to get arrested? - OK. - Oh, come on. It's a little bit cool. - OK. OK! (CHUCKLES) - OK. - It's a little bit cool, though, isn't it? - It's actually quite the opposite, OK? Actually quite the opposite - it is not cool at all. - Kurt Cobain - arrested. - Mm. - Frank Sinatra - - BOTH: ...arrested. - I don't think they know. - That's probably for the best, cos if they did know they were ghosts, they'd just walk out the car. - What are you talking about? - BOTH: Nothing. - I'm not intoxicated. - OK, excuse me, you were vomiting all over the place in a public area. - What's wrong with that? - It's illegal. - Nah, not in Levin. - Boom. - Why have you been abducting people? - Can I see you two in my office, please? I've got something to show you. Parker, you can keep an eye on them. - Are they ghosts, Sarge? - Yes, Parker, they're ghosts. - I don't- What the hell? I don't want to. - Go in there now. - OK. Look, Sarge, OK, they are showing us no respect in there, OK? - Hurry up, Parker. Yeah, we can talk about it in the office. - No respect. We failed at our job. - OK. So, what I think is going on here is that these spirits have been looking for their one surviving mate, Wiremu, and they've been accosting people dressed the same, to see if it's him. - Mm. - So we need to find this Wiremu. - Wiremu could be the key in stopping this pattern, so we need to talk to these ghosts before they strike again. One moment. Sergeant's log. We need to talk to these ghosts before they strike again. I'm gotta get a coffee, and then we'll go straight up, talk to them. - (CLEARS THROAT) - I can't get these stupid bottles off my hands, bro, ever since that crash. - Dude, I'm surprised we survived the crash. - I mean, we got powned, bro. - You think we're dead? - Yeah, bo. (LAUGHS) - Hey, G-Unit. Are we dead? - Um,... I regret to inform you that you have deceased. - Oh, fail! (LAUGHS) Epic fail! - Sucks to be us, bro! - (LAUGHS) - Hey, you know what that means? - What? - We're no longer held by physical laws, bro. - (GASPS) - BOTH: Boom! (BOTH LAUGH) - Let's bounce! - No, don't bounce. You can't bounce. You can't bounce. We still need to question you. - BOTH: Boom town! - No. (SIGHS) Where's Boom Town? - Uh, just be advised, guys, something's not right here. Parker, what happened? Where'd they go? - Oh, Sarge, they disappeared into the ghost realm. I'm so sorry. - Uh, don't worry about it. That's OK, Parker. Uh, OK, guys, uh, let's head towards the city. Also, we should look out for anyone that looks like them. Uh, even if they're not ghosts, they're potential kidnap victims. Boy, these Wallys are elusive. I mean, the Lost Traveller Glasses Men. - Mm. They really are fascinating books, O'Leary. For instance, did you know that Wally is called something different in every single country? - I did not know that, Minogue. - Yeah. In America, he's called Waldo. In Germany, he's known as Walter. Guess what he's called in France. - I don't know. - Charlie. Ou est Charlie? Voila! Il ya Charlie. Does that look like a legitimate park to you? - No. (CAR DOOR CLOSES) - You don't see that every day. - Come on, Minogue - there might be casualties. Come on! Take the lift. Which floor? Which floor do you reckon? - Uh, five. - Five? OK. Do you reckon? Are you sure it wasn't three? We'll go five. (MUZAK PLAYS) - (WHISTLES) - (SIGHS) This is like the Cable Car all over again. - Sometimes, you feel like it's quicker to take the stairs. - We should have. Why didn't we take the stairs? (DING!) - Come on. Excuse me. Have you seen some sort of a vehicle, like- did you hear a big crash, some sort of explosion? - Can you hear that? - What? - Down there. Down there, down there. - So, obviously, Minogue and myself have stumbled across quite a serious vehicle incident here. This van behind us has actually crashed into the Ministry for Motor Vehicle Safety, which is both ironic and actually not very safe at all. - Driver's done a runner, O'Leary. - So, as Minogue's just said, any potential suspects appear to have fled the scene, so we'll just get in there and ascertain what's gone on here. - There's a ton of evidence in here. - OK, that's good. Mind your step - there's a lot of debris here. - Minogue. - Look at this stuff. - You need to leave that in there, cos that's evidence. - Get in there, guys. Hold that. Make a pile of clothes over there. - No, they're not getting in there. No, you really shouldn't be getting in there, that van is not safe at all. - Cool stuff in here. - Minogue, stop throwing stuff at me! - They've got a Limp Bizkit CD. (CHEERING, ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) - # Yeah! # - No, don't! (WHOOSH!) (ROCK MUSIC FADES) (VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRS) - Excuse me. Did you see that big, um...? You just carry on. Thank you. * - RT: Come in, Sarge. It appears Minogue has been abducted by a ghost van containing a number of ghosts. - Copy that, O'Leary. We'll head to your location now. It seems that these ghosts have struck again. This time, they've kidnapped Minogue. I'm gonna see if I can get him on the RT. Minogue. Can you hear me? Over. - RT: (LAUGHTER) - I'm really good, actually. - What do you think is their purpose, Minogue? Why have they taken you? - They wanna take me to the Sevens. They're really impressed with my knowledge of Wally. - RT: (LAUGHTER) - We've got Wiremu! - That's not my name. - Look, Minogue, I believe these ghosts don't wanna just take you to the Sevens - they want to take you to the after-party in the sky. Do not go with them. I repeat - do not go with them. - I'm already with them! (ROCK MUSIC) - I believe that Wiremu still resides in Wellington - Upper Hutt, to be precise. So, uh, you and Parker, go and track down this Wiremu and tell him what's going on. I'm going to contact these spirits via Minogue, tell them to let him go. - Copy that. - (CLEARS THROAT) - Hey, Sarge, um,... - Mm. - ...did you get my application for the room in your flat? - Uh, yes, I did. (CLEARS THROAT) - And was it successful? - Uh, no, sorry, Parker - that, uh, room has gone to somebody else. - I've got quite a bit of whiteware that I could... - No. - Yeah. - Look, like I said, Parker, the room's already gone. - If I just add an extra $100. - Look, Parker, I've already consulted with Tinkles. - Your loss. - I beg to differ. - Gosh, it's good, eh? I feel like I'm the new Minogue. I kind of am, in a way, eh? I wonder if I will become the new Minogue. Hey, who am I? Who am I being? Hi. I'm Minogue. My brother's Adam, and he makes salads for me for lunch. (CHUCKLES) - Are you being Minogue? - Yes, I am! You got it. (CHUCKLES) Yeah, people often don't get my impersonations. So what I've started doing is saying, 'Hi. I'm...' and then I say the name of the person I'm impersonating, and that usually gives them enough clues to know who I'm impersonating. - I'll try another one on you. - No, it's OK. - Hi. I'm a duck. (CHUCKLES) - Who was that? - Did you just say, - 'I'm a duck'? - Mm. (KNOCK AT DOOR) - Hello. Are you Wiremu? - Yeah. - Yeah. Kia ora, Wiremu. I'm Officer O'Leary. This is Officer Parker. - Hi. - Do you mind if we come in? - What's this about? - I think you might be able to help us in regards to the kidnapping of my partner by some former associates of yourself. - Oh. - Do you live here by yourself? - Yeah. - Mm. - Look, so, we have reason to believe that your six mates who unfortunately died and passed away on their way to the Wellington Sevens back in 2001 have actually come back, but in ghost form. - Oh no. - Yeah. And, um, they've actually kidnapped my partner because they're missing one element of their group, and that's you. - Eh? - Uh, you might wanna sit down. - I'm so sorry. I just tried to block that part of my life out. And, um, I really should have been there with them, but then I would have been dead. But that's just what people say in situations like this. - Yeah. I mean, look, end of the day, we just really need your help to bring them in. - Hey, are there two bathrooms here? - Oh, there's actually- - Hey, guys, we just really need to focus right now. OK? - Cos I'm living with my mum at the moment, but the bathroom- - RT: O'Leary, I've got a situation. I'm in the ghost van. These ghosts have given me Scrumpy hands, and now they think I'm their friend Wiremu. - OK, Minogue, tell them that I've found the real Wiremu, OK? I'm with him right now at 12 Wairua Cres, Upper Hutt. - RT: Hey, guys, my mate's calling from Upper Hutt. - Mate? - She's found the real Wiremu. (KNOCK AT DOOR) - Is that them now? - I'm not sure. - We could pretend we're not here. - I'm not gonna do that, Parker. - It's gonna be strange, isn't it? - Well, just a little bit peculiar maybe, but we're here for you, OK? - Do you have a heat pump here? - There's actually- - Parker. - How did you get here so quickly? - It's a ghost van. - But where are the others? - Um... (WHOOSH!) - Wiremu? - Oh. - You look different. - I was gonna say that you guys kind of look the same, almost. - Who ate all the pies, then (?) - (CHUCKLES) - Mate, been looking all over for you, Wizza! - Hey, let's grab a feed before we go to the Sevens, bro. - Wiremu, you've gonna have to tell them you can't accompany them, OK? - You got this. - O'Leary, can you help me with my Scrumpy hands? - No, not right now. OK? - Hey, is this a good area to live in? - For you. - Guys. - Hey, guys! Guys. Excuse me. Wiremu wants to talk to you guys, please. - Come in. Gather round. - So, 20 years ago, you guys were on your way to the Sevens, right, and you crashed into a van full of sexy crayons. The van then jettisoned off a bypass and into a building, and that's when you guys all died. - (GIGGLES) Wait. What?! - Yeah, nah, stop. - We forgot to say. Yeah, we're dead. - ALL: Oh! - We're dead. - Fail! - I was in a bar, talking to a girl,... - Ooooh! - ...and that's why I missed the pickup, which is why I'm alive. I'm sorry. - Did you get with the girl from the bar? - We got married. (CHEERING) - Yeah. Yeah. And now we're divorced. But I get the teenage kids on the weekends, so it's good. - Oh, yuck. - I can't think of anything worse. - It actually sounds like my worst nightmare. - That sounds like a hellish existence. - It's better than being dead. - Eh, debatable. - Sounds like you need a night out, though, to the Wellington Sevens! (CHEERING) - I am gonna step in here, and sorry to inform you guys, but the Sevens aren't actually in Wellington any more. OK? They've moved to Hamilton. - Hamilton? What?! No! - That sucks! - The chlamydia capital? - Oh, no, well, that's actually contestable, cos Palmerston North is right up there as well. - That's true. - Let's go to Hamilton, then. - Yeah. - Eh? - Oh, I'm not gonna go. - Why? Is it cos your new life is super-depressing? - No, it's because you're dead and I'm alive. OK? - ALL: Ooh! - (LAUGHS) - Insensitive. - Well, can we at least get a photo together? - (GASPS) - Yeah! - We could take it on my cell phone. - That's a tiny computer! - Yes! (CHEERING) (CHEERING) - Wiremu! Wiremu! - Let's get a photo in the van! - ALL: To the van! To the van! To the van! Wiremu! Wiremu! - Three, two, one. (CHEERING) (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) - Yeah! (CHEERING) (VAN ENGINE REVS) - Take care of those guinea pigs, Wiremu! (CHEERING) - Should probably have told them they cancelled the Hamilton Sevens this year. - Nah. - Thanks. - Sorry for your loss. - Mm. - So, all in all, the night was actually a success, um, other than the ghosts, obviously, having to go to Hamilton - that's bad news for Hamilton and bad news for the ghosts. - Mm. All these years, I've been wondering, 'Where's Wally' - perhaps I should have been wondering, 'How's Wally?' - It's Lost Travelling Glasses Man. Mm. - (CHUCKLES) Who am I? I'm Officer O'Leary. It's certainly not optimal. WHISPERS: It's... - He was doing her. - Yeah. (CHUCKLES) - That sounds nothing like me. - Pretty good. - It's pretty good. - What?! - It's close. - You do it, then. - Oh, down here. - BASSILY: I'm Officer... I'm Officer O'Leary. - AS YODA: I'm Officer O'Leary.