- In 2012, I had both legs, half of my right arm and all of the fingers of my left hand amputated. I am Korrin Barrett, and I am a quad amputee. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2021 I was in the hospital bed. A surgeon came in and he said, 'Hi, Korrin. I've reviewed your file. 'We're gonna have to amputate both your legs, and I can do it at 10.30 on Thursday.' (CHUCKLES) And then literally turned around and walked out of the room. (CHUCKLES) (TAPE REWINDS) My mum was 20 when I was born, and my dad would have been 22. And four years later, my brother was born. I don't really remember too much about the time when my parents split up. I was 4 years old. I do remember when my mum met my stepdad that I didn't like him very much. My mum and my stepdad started... I used to call it popping children out left, right and centre, it felt like. (LAUGHS) Suddenly, I had gone from one brother to three brothers and two sisters all younger than me. I know my mum was, you know, a loving parent, and I felt that when I was young. But things changed with my stepdad coming along. I think she lost her... spark. I must have been... 8 when my mum got married to my stepdad, and I very quickly had to take on the mother role. I was getting up to my brothers and sisters in the night, and I was, you know, getting them ready for school and feeding them and sometimes going without food myself because there wasn't enough school lunches for everyone. I kind of lost my childhood because I was suddenly thrown into this parental role. There was no stability. I went to 13 schools. It just felt like we were just constantly on the move. We couldn't settle in anywhere. Come home from school, and the house has been packed up, and, oh, look, we're off on a new adventure, and it's like, this isn't an adventure; this is hell. - So Korrin and I first met in Fairlie when her family moved there. She was a bit dorky... and just tall, gangly blonde with big, beautiful blue eyes. She was just so brainy. She was just next level. - I loved school. I was very studious and very determined, and I really wanted to get A's. I think I used school... as an out. It was my safe place. I was scared of my stepfather. He had... anger issues. I always saw my mum as being this strong, larger-than-life woman. She would laugh a lot, and she expressed herself openly, all these sorts of things. But I do remember that when my stepfather came along, you know, it changed. He had quite a lot of control over her, and he was having quite a lot of control over us. - There was a lot of dysfunction in her home. Her parents were quite hard on her. It was pretty rough. - I realised it was never gonna end. We were never gonna get out. I did consider taking my own life at times, but I couldn't because I had these little people needing me to, you know, look after them. And how could I ever leave them behind, because what if they started enduring... a lot of what we were? I needed more from life. And I started to think I'm the only person who's going to be able to give this to me, so I need to get out there and work for it. My aunt and uncle had organised for me a scholarship to go to Nelson College for Girls, and I was over the moon. It was a fully paid three-year scholarship. I could do the last three years of my schooling up and Nelson as a boarder. It was an out for me. I thought, this is my time that I can shine, my time that I can get out of my home life. - It was going to be her escape so that she could actually start to have a life for herself. - I mean, I don't know what to tell you. - And then my parents announced that they were moving to Nelson as well. We all packed up and moved to Nelson, and we ended up moving around the corner from the high school. And so I lost my scholarship, because you can't live within so many kilometres of the school if you're a boarder. - Her parents' decision to move to Nelson and ultimately ruining her chance of fulfilling that scholarship, it was... I could only say that it was purely selfish. - They 100% did that on purpose. There was no way that they did it for any other reason than they didn't want me to go to boarding school, because then, you know, I wouldn't be there to help look after the kids and all the rest of it. I don't think I ever forgave my parents for that. My mum and my stepdad broke up. I was 15. Mum would say, you know, 'I broke up with him because of you.' And, like, we sort of felt that pressure on us where, oh, we forced this to happen. She was the adult at the end of the day, so she made those decisions for herself. End of '97, I finished my schooling, and then I decided to move up to Hawke's Bay. Got into the workforce and worked my way through different roles in admin and marketing and ended up doing finance and things. I met my friend Leanne. We just hit it off straight away, became really good friends. I met her parents, Karen and Kerry, and very quickly just sort of wangled my way into their family and became another daughter. - She was just a lovely person to have around, very easy to have around. She was just one of those sort of people. She just slotted in lovely. - Just forged a lifelong friendship and relationship with them as family. It was 2007 that a friend of mine from work, we were at lunch one day, and we just decided that let's move to Australia. So she said, 'Yeah, I'm keen.' So we just went back to work that afternoon, picked a date on the calendar, booked our tickets and planned for the big move. (CHUCKLES) So we flew into Brisbane, and within the first week we both landed jobs. Just felt like I was gonna be able to make something of myself. I got on to a project where I was doing permits and approvals for a gas pipeline company. I loved it, and it was just amazing, and the money was amazing as well. I got promoted three times within an 18-month period. I was really into my health and fitness at the time as well. I was probably the first I'd ever been in my life. I had plans to do a triathlon, put myself out of my comfort zone and do something I'd never done before. It was Anzac Day of 2008, and I was invited to one of the local bars in Brisbane. I started talking to a guy, and I said to him, 'Oh, they look like Kiwi tattoos,' and he goes, 'You sound like a Kiwi.' And I said, 'Because I am.' Two Kiwis mate in an Australian bar on Anzac Day of all days. - She didn't believe my age at the time and that I had a son. All I remember is she had long legs and little black shorts and blonde hair. That night was a bit of a blur, but we swapped numbers, and then it took me three days to text her. - I was very drunk. (LAUGHS) So when he actually, about three days later, as they do, messaged, and, 'Hi. It's Craig here. 'I met you at the Normanby Hotel.' The first thing I said to my flatmate was, 'Which one was Craig?' (LAUGHS) We got chatting a bit more, and I was like, 'Oh, that's right. Now I remember who he was,' cos I was like, 'Oh my gosh, like...' (LAUGHS) 'This is terrible. How drunk was I?' We just found we hit it off straight away. We talked on the phone almost every day and swapped email addresses and would email each other at work and found out that we had quite a bit in common. - She liked rugby. She loved motorsport. She was easy to talk to and, you know, she was pretty good looking too. - I was like, 'Oh, I think I've got a boyfriend,' (LAUGHS) to my housemate. So I moved in with him not quite six months after we'd met, and then we became an instant family. Craig, his son Regan and I, and history from there. (LAUGHS) * - Late in 2010, maybe early 2011, my mum rang me, and she said she'd been diagnosed with cancer. She had bowel cancer and eventually bladder cancer as well. And it just took hold... quickly. She passed away in March of 2012. It was a lot of stress, and everything was sort of on top of me, and it was about the June, July that I started having some abdominal pains and issues myself. And I noticed blood when I went to the toilet. So I went to my GP, and I got referred to a gastroenterologist. And having lost mum to bowel cancer, my biggest fear was could I have cancer? Is this gonna be way more serious than I think it is? And so the 21st of August 2012, I had the colonoscopy. 29th of August, I got the results, and that's when I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, so severe inflammatory bowel disease of the large colon and... very quickly deteriorated after that diagnosis. (GROANING) I started to experience fevers and shaking and... excessive bowel motions, going to the toilet, like, 15 times a day, crawling from the bed to the bathroom because I could hardly walk. It was on Sunday the 2nd of September that I said I think I need to go to the hospital. - Seven hours in the emergency department and still didn't get an answer what actually was going on. Like, Korrin said, 'I can feel gas going up my shoulder.' And that's a sign of perforated bowel. - The next five days, just a blur of going from ward to ward, bed to bed. I'm in excruciating levels of pain, and I felt like they were just dosing me up on morphine and trying to mask the pain instead of actually looking for what was causing it. I would give them stool samples, then they'd come back and say, 'Oh, we can't find you a sample. Can you give us another one?' And it was just, like, a multitude of things were going wrong, and no one was actually managing my case. It was just all over the place. But you're still in the back of your mind trusting the system because we're not in a third world country; I'm in Australia; I'm in a hospital; I've got all these amazing medical professionals around me ` surely they're gonna fix me soon. (CHUCKLES) Like... I just keep thinking it's gonna come soon. Day five, they X-rayed my abdominal area in the afternoon of a Thursday, and then Friday morning they said, 'We need to rush you in for emergency surgery. 'We believe you've got a perforated bowel.' So they rushed me in for surgery, and I woke up,... and I had an` a bag attached to me, ileostomy bag, and I looked down at it, and I remember bursting into tears, and I just thought, how can I be 33 years old and fit and healthy and social and career-driven with a bag attached to me that I have to poo into? I just was like, that's it. Like, I thought that is the worst thing that could ever happen, not knowing that it was obviously gonna get a lot worse from there. So I didn't know that I had sepsis at the time. I'd never heard of it before. Sepsis is actually your body's reaction to an infection. With my bowel perforating, the toxins were then all of a sudden going through my body. We don't know how long that had been happening for, so how much toxins had actually escaped from the bowel and had started seeping around my body? And is that what was causing the sepsis symptoms to happen? They said, 'We need to take you in for another surgery. We need to flush out the toxins. 'That's why you're still so sick and feeling unwell.' My body slowly shut down ` my lungs first, my heart was failing, my kidneys were starting to fail. - Kissed her goodbye, and then the next time I saw her, she was lying face down with her eyes taped shut in an induced coma. And then a doctor said, 'Look, she's very sick. 'We're gonna have to transfer her to another hospital. There's a high chance that she won't survive that.' If she survives the trip from one side of Brisbane to the other, then she'll be put on a machine that's gonna pump good blood in and take the bad blood out. - When Korrin arrived, really, she was on death's door. Every given minute, I was fearful that we could lose her. - When I was talking to Craig on the phone, when he was telling me that the doctors had told him that,... you know, she might not make it (SNIFFLES) and that he had to prepare to say goodbye. And he said to me,... 'How do I say goodbye to my soulmate?' (SNIFFLES) (MACHINE BEEPS STEADILY) - The tears just started streaming down my face, and I was thinking, like, what would life be like without her, you know? - Her heart wasn't working properly for multiple reasons. Her lungs weren't working at all. Her kidneys had failed. It was really a salvage intervention and somebody who would otherwise die. - I just dusted myself off, and I thought, 'Right, I need to be there for her. 'She's not` She's not done yet.' - She had multiple organs that were failing. She had a 90% chance of dying. - Just on tenterhooks the entire time. I just... I felt... dread, I think, every time... my phone lit up. - I told them to expect nothing but be positive. And I also told them that the next couple of days and weeks were gonna be a rollercoaster ride. - We always knew that she was pretty sick, but I knew Korrin was a fighter. - Every morning I would wake up and I thought... today might be the day that she wakes up. But at the same time, I always had that feeling that today might be the day that Craig tells me that she's gone. * (MACHINES BEEP) - When Korrin arrived, really, she was on death's door. The odds were stacked up against her. So when we put her on to this ECMO machine, her response was great in that finally her body was actually getting enough oxygen into the system, and we realised that she is holding steady, which is all we could hope for. So rather than being in a downward spiral, she held steady. - We made a photo board just to show the nurses and doctors this is what Korrin looked like before she came to you, cos she's now being pumped up with all this fluid, she didn't look like the Korrin that everyone knew. This is Korrin, and we want Korrin to come back to being Korrin. - Those little things are so special, you know, and just the way he touched her hand, the way he talked to her was amazing. It was just lovely. I saw him as a strength. - He had a vigil by her bedside. This guy was just pouring his energy into her, and he does not get the same amount of accolades through all of this as she does, and neither should he, but trust me, he went to hell with her. - My first recollection waking up ` it was dark, and I remember opening my eyes and thinking, 'Where am I?' So drug induced with all the pain medication that they've been pumping into me, and I lay there, and I thought, 'I can't move and I can't speak.' So there was all these weird things going through my head ` horrific scenarios, and just day after day of this feeling of waking up, not knowing where I was, thinking the worst. I'd be mouthing, 'Help me,' and they'd be like, 'You're in the hospital. It's OK.' You know, 'You've been in a coma. This has happened. These people are here to help you.' Calm me down. And then the next day, wake up, go through all the horrific stuff again. And it was just` It was day after day after day of that happening, while they slowly started reducing the amount of pain medication. - LISA: Getting that news from Craig that she had woken up was just... Oh, I can't` I can't really even put it into words how incredible that was. It was probably one of the best moments of my life. - I noticed that my fingers and my feet were starting to go black. I had a surgeon come in that I'd never meet before ` I was still in ICU, and I was still in a slightly cognitive, slightly mixed reality state ` and he came in and he said, 'Hi, Korrin. I've reviewed your file. 'We're gonna have to amputate both your legs, and I can do it at 10.30 on Thursday.' (CHUCKLES) And then literally turned around and walked out of the room. In my mind, I felt like I could still move my legs. The muscle memory was still there. And so I kept saying to them, 'But I can still move my legs,' and so I'd be like, 'Look, I'm moving my feet.' And they're like, 'Your feet aren't moving. Your toes aren't moving.' - They said that's just the muscle dying off. The longer you leave it, she's gonna to die of blood poisoning. - It just became a no-brainer. It just` It had to be done. I needed to do it to save my life. I don't think I allowed it to settle in as a 'Oh no. Poor you. You're losing your legs'. It was I had to let it settle in as a 'Yes, I'm gonna lose my legs, but I've still got my life.' - The day Korrin had her legs amputated, I walked into the ICU, and I said, 'Well, backyard cricket's sorted ` we've already got the stumps.' - (CHUCKLES) Yeah. (SCOFFS) Sick of your bloody dad jokes. (LAUGHS) Humour is his way of coping. He'd get the nurses laughing and the doctors laughing, and I think they all then knew we were gonna be OK because we were able to laugh. But I just knew that life was never going to be the same again for Craig or for I. - And then the next news came that... all their efforts to try and save her hands, or arms, just weren't working, and that they were going to have to amputate. - Initially, I thought that my right hand was gonna be saved and I was gonna lose my left hand, because in the early days, my right hand was the one that I could still move and all these sorts of things. But that literally died off overnight, and I woke up and I looked down and I realised right then that I'd lost that hand. It was never coming back. It was the 26th of November 2012 that I had the first of my upper limb surgeries. I was extremely anxious leading up into that surgery, and I know when I first came out of there and looked down at my bandaged arms and could see that I had lost my arm to a certain length and my hand was all bandaged up, so I actually didn't know what was left there, but I burst into tears because it was so final. - And I just thought, like, Really? How much does one person live to endure, you know? (SNIFFLES) How much can...? How much bad luck can one person have? (SNIFFLES) And when is it gonna end? - How many kicks in the guts can you get? Because it just feels like it's daily there's something going wrong. You just go through those moments of can it get any worse? Like, there's just more things that go wrong. I ended up having to have more surgeries on my bowel because I got a twisted bowel in amongst all of that. You're just lying there. You can't move. You're thinking the worst. You're thinking why me? I used to lie and try and think of ways that I could suffocate myself in the bed. You really do seep into some of the darkest times when something like this happens. I remember a really close friend of mine came in, and I whispered to her, 'I don't think Craig's gonna want to stay with me.' I told Craig to leave. - Never once did it cross my mind that I'd wanna leave. We're a team. - I truly believed at that time that that was probably gonna be the best for both of us. I thought I need to let him go. But I did say to him, 'If you leave, you have to leave now, 'because I can't leave this hospital and get into the routine of what our new life is going to be like, 'and then you leave.' - I think it was just she didn't want it to be a burden, but you know, it's not as though we'd just met, you know, a few months before and this happened. You know, we'd been together five years, so... - The biggest thing is, you know, his loyalty to me because he didn't leave when I was in my absolute worst.. and the bravery it took for him to stay with me. - It's almost like a challenge. I'm annoying anyway, so I'll stay and be more annoying. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) - And it has been the most difficult journey for two people to go through. Your partner suddenly becomes your carer. I literally couldn't do a single thing for myself in those initial days, months, first two years ` took that amount of time to become more and more independent. So it was really hard on both of us breath. It was his belief in me that he obviously knew that I was going to be OK. - One, two, three, and lower. Just put your full weight on me. That's it. Down. That's it. - We're both pretty stubborn. So, yeah... Nah, definitely in for the long haul. * - So, one of the pivotal moments for me was my boss came in and he said, 'No matter what it takes, how long it takes or what it costs, your job will be waiting for you after this.' That was the moment that I... decided I need to fight this. I need to back myself. I need to push myself. - The drive of she had to get back up on her feet, get back to full strength was insane. She was probably in physio twice a day. - I remember, you know, 10 o'clock at night, and I'd start doing sit-ups in my bed. You know, the nurse would come in and be like, 'What are you doing, Korrin?' And I'm like, 'Oh, just a few sit-ups because I'm bored.' I went and visited other patients in different parts of the rehab unit. So there was, like, a brain injury ward, and there was a spinal injury ward, and it's just` it's that reflection it actually could be so much worse. I'd come out of my room and go into the physio to do my physio training, and there was a room of amputees across from me, and they were all still in their beds, and we all had physio at the same time. - Come on. Let's go. - I was like, 'What are you still doing in here? We've got physio.' And they're like, 'Oh, I can't be bothered today.' I'm like, 'Get your butt into physio.' (CHUCKLES) I've got two legs missing, and I can't use my hands, and I can't use that, and... And the physios used to love it, because they'd never get them there otherwise. But then they'd all trudge out of their bed with their one leg missing and be like... (GRUMBLES) But it was.... (CHUCKLES) It was one of those things where, yeah, I think I boosted them all. - That's really good. - I remember the first time that I stood up on prosthetic legs. It was just such a weird feeling, because you are suddenly standing again, and you're light-headed because you've been sitting in a wheelchair for so long. It was so painful, because all of my body weight was in these little buckets at the end of my legs. I'm standing up on something that's not attached to me, really, and I'm balancing, and you feel like you're gonna fall over, and the physios were, 'Are you ready to try and take a step?' And I just thought, 'Ugh!' You know? I was exhausted. I was literally physically and mentally exhausted just from standing up, And now they wanted me to take a step. I was like, 'God, how much you want for me right now?' But I did take that step, and then another step, and it's just, 'Oh, actually, I can do this.' Yes, it's painful. Yes, I'm really uncomfortable right now, and I feel really weird, but I'm also walking again. - The day she got to stand up was a pretty proud achievement. She'd been in a wheelchair for so long, and you think, 'Are you ever gonna walk again?' There's always that question. But she got up, and, yeah, she nailed it. - Oh! - Oh! Whoo-hoo! - So the ileostomy bag was so hard to deal with. I couldn't manage that bag because I didn't have two hands. I absolutely hated it. I hated it more than losing my limbs because it was holding me back from so much. It was definitely sending me back into a pretty dark space. I got referred to Dr David Clark, who's a top colorectal surgeon. - That ileostomy was the symbol of her loss of control of her life. It was always going to be a difficult and high-risk operation. However, she came to me very well informed and absolutely determined. - He did the surgery for free for me, which was amazing. I remember going in for the surgery, and, obviously, I was extremely hopeful that I was gonna come out without this bag. But also there was no guarantees. - Here's a woman who has been catastrophically ill, who is very lucky to have survived, and I'm doing an elective operation that could well make her sick again. So there's... You know, these are risks that I talk through with her beforehand, and it's a risk that she was prepared to accept. - And I came to in the ICU, and I remember looking down for the first time and it was gone, and I just thought, 'He did it.' He did exactly what he had hoped to do and what I had hoped he would do, and it was just` it was incredible. It gave me my life back. - WHISPERS: Thank you. - Such great news. - One of the nurses at the rehab unit that I went to see to me, 'Korrin, do you understand that this shouldn't have actually happened to you? 'Like looking back through your file, so many things went wrong, 'and we really think that you should get legal advice.' - We always sort of knew that there was some sort of blame, cock up, misdiagnosis and negligence. So we thought, OK. I rang a lawyer. They could tell that we had a good case, and it gave us some sort of reassurance. OK, well, someone needs to pay for this. - They straight away came in and met with me in person and just got the ball rolling. - They picked up that there were four major flaws through that diagnosis with Korrin. It's pretty unheard of to have four major muck ups. - Our legal suit ended up being against three different parties ` the initial specialist who did my colonoscopy ` obviously there was a lack of duty of care there because the treatment wasn't what I should have received; the second party was the hospital that I initially went to and was in for a number of days before they detected that I had a perforated bowel; and then the third party was the radiography department. It was really hard work. Like, it was four years of fighting against three organisations. In the final mediation meetings, we sat there in our barrister's office. The mediator went between the two areas, back and forth and back, and it just got to the point where I was like, I've had enough. Like, how much longer do we do this for? It was December 2015 when we finally settled on a... a compensation figure. And I remember when the mediator came back and said, 'Congratulations. They've agreed,' and I just burst into tears because I was just` I think the relief of it's finally over. I'm happy with what they've offered. I know that I can make this work for my life. I mean, no amount of money ever is gonna cover what I've lost or what I've gone through, but we have to make it work for us. So, when I was in hospital, I was told, you know, you might not be able to do that or you might not be able to do that, and don't expect to be able to run a marathon. Then I started thinking, well, the only person that's putting those limitations on is me. And so if I can prove that I can do all these crazy things, that's only gonna benefit everyone else around me as well. So that's why I started doing things like the Bridge to Brisbane, and then the City to Surf walk, bungee jumped in Queenstown, and then a skydive and swimming with the sharks. You know, something like this happens to you, and suddenly you're given a new lease on life. Do you just wanna go to the grave like, 'see ya later,' or do you want to, like, slide in and say, 'Whoo-hoo! What a life.' (LAUGHS) (ROCK MUSIC) (ENGINE RUMBLES) PHONE: Motorcycling puts a little adventure in every day. It gets under your skin. The more in tune you become to the subtleties and the physics and the geometry of riding a motorcycle, the more it actually gives back. (ENGINE RUMBLES IN BURSTS) The more you understand it, the more rewarding it is. * - In June 2016, I underwent the first stage of my osseointegration surgery. That is where they implant a titanium rod directly into the bones of your legs. - She can clip her legs on herself, so it means in the middle of the night if she has to go to the toilet, in the early days, she'd have to wake me up. Now she can just clip her legs on, so she's very independent. She can drive a car with her feet, so that's been huge for her. She can get a potato chip out of the bowl and she can hold her mascara, so she's happy. (CHUCKLES) We've set the house up so she can do stuff. It feels like she can contribute to` you know, instead of me doing it all the time, we can do as a couple. We've been ticking off the boxes there for her to be as independent as possible. We're getting our life back to being` rather than patient and carer, it's now a couple. - Going forward with prosthetics ` I mean, technology is evolving so quickly. My bionic hand, for example, it's almost old news already, and I've only had it for three or four years. I feel way more confident when I've got my arm on because it balances me out and I don't feel like I'm having to hide my little arm, I call it. Craig calls it a expensive wine glass holder (LAUGHS) cos that's what he reckons I do with it. But it does mean that I can do things. I can hold a knife and cut things in the kitchen. I can carry things that I might not be able to without it on. When you go through amputations, phantom limb pain or nerve pain is there 24-7. I have really, really bad nerve pain in my right arm. It feels like my hand that I don't have any more (CHUCKLES) is curled up permanently in a fist and I can't open the fingers, and it's so tight and so painful. And I get cramp all the time and my non-existent feet. It's not just a case of, oh, you've had your limbs amputated and you're eight years down the track and everything's great and you're doing this and enjoying that. I'm still living with that pain 24-7, every single day of my life. But keeping this busy (CHUCKLES) helps take that away. You just gotta try and push through it like everything else. (CHUCKLES) (GENTLE PIANO MUSIC) Anyone who knew me before all of this happened would know that I had an absolute fear of public speaking. You couldn't pay me to stand up in front of a group of five people, let alone 500. But when I speak at events and tell my story, it gives me a newfound confidence and sense of purpose. Good morning, everybody. Cos I wasn't always a bionic woman, so to speak. In 2012, my life changed forever. And I started to realise, actually, I need to do this more. I need to go into more schools and I need to go into workplaces and I need to go into community groups. But you just have to keep challenging yourself otherwise it won't change you. Thank you very much. (APPLAUSE) Mental health and suicide prevention and support is huge for me. I've lost people in my life to suicide, and if doing what I do can help in some way, why wouldn't I keep doing it? Perseverance... - Yeah. - ...is a big one. When I speak to groups, I always talk initially about my upbringing and changing schools so much because would I have coped the way that I have with what happened to me had I not been through all of those experiences in the past? - Just such an amazing story just hear a little snippet. - I need to share my story because if it can impact one person in that room and stop them from feeling like they've got the world on their shoulders or feeling like they've got no other option than to take their life, you can't put a price on that. That's the reward for what I do. - We decide to move back to New Zealand. That's probably one of the best things that we ever did. She's found her niche. She goes and helps out with charities. She always wanted to work with people with disabilities, and she's doing that. - Life is way more rewarding now than it ever was before. The opportunities, the people I've met, the work that I can do with this is... you can't put a price on that. It's about being real, and it's about being raw, and it's about being honest, and it's about sharing. I used to look in the mirror, and I was constantly judging myself and analysing, you know, my body and my hair and my make-up and how I looked and how I acted, and I was always striving to look the best that I could. And I don't know why, but we all just look in the mirror and just go, 'Oh, if only I could lose another 5 kilos,' and I just know, like, in the back of my mind, that was constantly there. Why didn't I just appreciate how good I looked? Because... I did. Don't get me wrong ` it's not like I look in the mirror now and think, 'Whoo-hoo! You look a million bucks.' I don't like what I see in the mirror. I've gained weight, and I've got scars all over me, and everything is completely different to what it was before. But I am what I am, and I've gone through so much and I've come through the other side of it, and I just have to accept the fact that this is me... and it could have been so much worse. This happened to me. I need to accept that it's happened to, me and I need to move forward. And the only way I can move forward is through acceptance and forgiveness. - It's going to get hot soon, though, isn't it, so we're gonna need to... - Yeah, so go early. - Early. - Love is hugely important in a situation like this. The people in your life have to love you completely and wholly. - I feel proud every time I walk with her down the street. Just the fact that she's walking with me, it's like, wow. You know? How cool is this? She can do anything. She's proven that already. - For someone who's been basically through the wringer, she will always think of others before herself. I love the person that she is. - I just feel so immensely proud. Like, to me, she's just a rock star. She's a hero. - I don't think I've allowed this to define me as a person. I don't want to be... put into a box and that is the description of who I am. I believe that, you know, I'm more than just a quad amputee or I'm more than... just part robot or I'm more than someone with no large bowel. (CHUCKLES) I'm a whole lot more than just that. I would absolutely... pay the price again, because this is obviously the path that I was meant to walk. Through adversity comes change, and through adversity comes growth, and I believe that I have grown and changed as a person, not just physically but as a whole, greatly because of what happened, and I wouldn't change that. I am Korrin Barrett, and I am a bionic woman. (FINGERS WHIRR) (GENTLE PIANO MUSIC) Captions by Julie Taylor. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2021 (GENTLE PIANO MUSIC CONTINUES)