- I don't think Malo had ever thought that it would be worse than what he experienced before. He was shocked on the first strike. And from then, he looks like he was trying to find a comfortable place to be able to handle the pain. - I don't know ` I just thought, 'Fuck. 'How is he doing this?' (LAUGHS) Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2022. - Today's a massive, massive day for me. Today is the day that we begin the journey of my pe'a. When I think about it, I know that this is part of my journey. The significance of this tattoo, you know, apart from my culture ` for me, is this is my rebirth. - Ha! Nah. - (BOTH LAUGH) - This will be a changing experience for Malo's life. You're not only thinking about yourself; you go back to your ancestors, your family, where you come from. And putting all those things together can change your life in a way of living, in a way you understand about life. - I'm not kidding. - Mm. - Don't move. - It makes sense that he wants to do something which is culturally significant. It'll have a profound impact on him, because you physically have to go through pain. And part of that pain is dealing with the pain that you've caused other people. So it can be quite therapeutic in a way, but also it can also signify a new beginning. - RAPS: # I got it. I'll make it through the damn thing. # I promise. # I promise. # I really got it. # - (BAND PLAY JAZZ) - Let's say hi to Malo here. - (CHUCKLES) - Bro, this whole shit's a journey, bro. It's like your story through everything. - Bro, hard. So the thing with all these songs is I wrote them when I was in the dark times. - Yeah. - And sometimes I feel like as artists, we purposely put ourselves in places to find the song, you know, because, you know, you can only write that song when you've actually been there, - and people that have been there go, 'Oh shit.' - Mm. - To see him back on the mic, it's, like, man, there's nothing's changed but the years, you know? The only thing that... He's still, like, he's still got it ` if not, he's better. And that buzzes me out. - That's what separates good artists from great ones, to me, is people that remain hungry, even after success. - (ACOUSTIC BLUES GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS) - Firstly, when I was going into this, I wasn't sure if my brother and my father would be there. You know, my dad's... he's not too well. It means a lot to me, eh, and I think it's very important, and it's the only way that it could be done is to have my older brother there and my father, considering that my journey has been walking alongside them. - (ACOUSTIC BLUES GUITAR MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) - My brother, he's always been a pathfinder out of us two. Like, he'd always go and do the things I wanted to do first. And I think I sort of saw it like, OK, I can do the same too. But yeah, with the pe'a, it's something I've always wanted, cos of my father having it, but my brother's the one that will go first again. And, of course, even with his career, I just wanna be there to support. - It's all good. - (SIGHS) - So, your mind is telling you that it's nearly done. And all of a sudden, your whole body's shut down. Your mind is shutting down. Cos I can see now you're all ready to` - All you wanted is to finish. - Mm-hm. - You're not concentrating on how to carry yourself in the next three weeks. - (SIGHS) It seems so far away, though. - Yeah. It's still far. - Today was a hard day. I was trying to fight the pain, like, mentally resist it. But that just made it harder. - The pe'a itself,... it's about, um, your decision. It's about the hurts in your life that you've had. Like, for me, like, all the hurts that I've had in my life, with jails and, you know, fights and things like that. All those pains, emotional pains ` not being there as a father; all those sort of things, you know, I put in to when I was getting tattooed. - You know, I was holding my dad's hand today, you know. And, you know, we've had a massive, like, tumultuous kind of relationship, but there's always been love. So I think today is the first time I actually, like, just held his hand for some comfort. RAPS: # They're dying to live. Is it no wonder that they're going under, a little more slumber? # I'm trying to give all that I can just to summon my reason to write, # cos when I do 20 times two, the deciders decide to behold visionary delight. # Every time that I rhyme on the mic, I am just like a diamond reflecting that light. # Blinding, the way I'll be shining so bright. And I'm just, like, my friends will be stuck on a pipe. # I'm up all night ready to fight.... 'I'm feeling really excited. I really am liking my new music. 'All in all, I just know what I'm saying is the truth.' # I never give up... - Seeing where he's at now, he's definitely got, you know, drive and purpose behind him, But also he knows where he wants to go. He knows where he wants to take all of this. - It's a reconnection of relationships and community. So while there's the... I guess, the narrative of him making music again, I feel like it's more about him making life again. # I gotta let you go. Since we broke up, I've been lost in a daze. # Didn't know what. It hit me sudden, like a train or a tow truck. # And I will never love again, girl, you know what? # Fair to say, since this day, having spoke much. # 'To This One' is my son, - my son's song. And I begged him for it, cos I loved it. - (LAUGHS) - So he's got his chorus, and then he deleted his raps. - Yeah, I've posted a snippet of it on my Instagram, and then he seen it, and he rang me up straight away. And he was, like, 'Send me that. Send me that track.' And I was, like, 'Nah, nah, nah.' - I told him not to give it to my dad. (LAUGHS) Because I wanted it out there, you know, quick. - I was, like, 'G, send me some of these songs. I need some ideas.' - (BOTH LAUGH) - Yeah, don't keep them all for yourself, mate. - Cos the ones he played me, I'm, like, 'Oh, can I have this?' (LAUGHS) - When I heard my dad on it, I was kind of, like, 'Oh, nah, you know, he's still got it, eh?' (LAUGHS) Like, he's still got it. - We're gonna finish with the bellybutton, which is the big part of our culture as the last part of the detail, that disconnects from your old life without the detail. And enter your new responsibility of life, which is being a man, being a father and being a leader. - (ALL SING IN SAMOAN) - (LAUGHTER) - Ow! - (ALL CONTINUE SINGING IN SAMOAN) - I feel really elated to get to the end. Physically, I feel sore, stinging all over. But what a massive accomplishment, really! I feel really proud. I think more than anything, I had to let a lot of things go ` a lot of things in my past go, a lot of, um, resentment, um,... a lot of self-pity, had to let it go. So, um, I feel like a different person. Whoo-hoo! - (LAUGHTER) - It's just good to have Malo back, you know? He's a funny guy, a family man. Yeah. That's my bro. - Yoo! Yoo! - Hey! - Yoo-hoo! - He felt like a big brother again. - Whoo-hoo! - Yeah! - Whoo-hoo! - That boy was such a success, you know, I kind of felt like he didn't need us ` you know, me and his mum, and I thought, 'Oh, well, that's fair enough ` 'he's a grown man now. He's got his own family.' But, you know, yeah, to have him, um, needing me again, in that way, is, um, reassuring as a dad. - Yeah! Yeah! - (CHEERING) - Yoo-hoo! - The biggest reward has really been the healing between my brother and my father and I and understanding, you know, why my dad was the way he was and why he did the things he did to us. Just came to the realisation I'm 42, and... the last decade with my father has been the best. Like, I've never loved him as much as I do right now. But there's 30 years before that that I lost with my father, and 20 of those years is cos of me. It's because I didn't understand. It's because I held so much resentment and blame and self-pity. I lost that time with my father. And now that, you know, I know he doesn't have, you know, that long left, um, it's a real hard, you know, pill to swallow. It's a real hard lesson to learn about forgiveness. Just releasing this album is gonna be exactly that for me ` a release of a lot of shit that I've just been holding inside. I've definitely brought it back to, you know, music is my therapy. What I'm saying is real to me, and that is that is the reward for me. And here we are ` we've gone full circle. Whoosh! - I really hope that with him maturing and growing older, he sort of puts this pressure on himself and just makes music for the love of it. You know, cos the rawness of it, for me, is just gold. - Art is about storytelling, it's about connects, about people. Put someone vulnerable and someone with a story and someone who feels like they have something to say and something to contribute, but feels unheard ` yeah, that's Malo. - It's just cool that New Zealand has taken ownership of him as an artist. And even through the tough times, I feel like they still were, like, he's ours, you know, warts and all. - All I wanna hear is the truth ` good, bad and ugly. That's all I wanna hear from him. - Oh man. I just wish for Malo just all his dreams of how he wants to be and who he wants to be to just come to fruition and manifest in his life. And if that's a super-sober Malo bringing out a new record, then hell, yeah, I'm all about it too. - Seeing him now and the journey that he's gone through to come back, yeah, I'm proud, and I think it's made him a better person as well. All struggles, you... you either let it beat you down or you shake it off, and you just come back. And that's what he's done. Mm. - When you consider the last few years that he's been through, he's gone and taken all that pain and rage and love... and, um, thinking and put it into this new music. And it's just... it's awesome. - I actually love myself, because I'm here, and I'm not where I was three years ago, which seems so impossible, you know, to be here and be clean and be healthy, getting my career on track and finding the things that I love about life. It's impossible for me to go back to who I used to be, knowing what I know now. - (TINKLY PIANO MUSIC) - # Ooh. # Ooh. - # Ooh, ooh, ooh. - ECHOES: # Check, check,. - (DISTORTED HORN) - RAPS: # Uh. # They say Scribe is dead and he ain't never coming back, G. # He just disappeared into thin air straight from the rap scene. # No one even cares, and now he's done, and it's a wrap, B. # Yeah, he's over, a washed-up has-been. # Uh! And they say he's a P-head, piper, drug-addicted crack fiend. # They say he ain't shit, he'll never make it out the trap, B. # Please don't post me in your stories, mentions, and don't at me. # Y'all said I done fallen off somewhere, lost on a backstreet? # Uh! Nah, homie, working every day at practice # on the track, deep like Black Cleats on the feet of an athlete. # Run the track, never catch me; on a rap beat, never match me, no. # Check the stat sheets, actually, I leapt beyond captain ` # I body the whole track team. Better tell your family. I guess it's plan B. # End of that dream, whatever that means, cos you don't know me very well. # You know that I'd have made it, made it through, like, every hell. # And understand that I ain't here living no fairy tale.