Captions by Jessie Puru. Edited by Sally Harper. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2022 (BELL TOLLS) - Oh. - Do you need me to do anything here? - Sorry, no. It's so busy, but could you just answer the phone? - Today is my wife's birthday, and so we've just organised a little kai together, kai tahi. - Is Lync OK? He needed me to help him` - What is he doing? My wife being the, you know, Ms Busybody she is, she wants to know what's going on and who's where and what's happening. And so we need to get the food from the car upstairs, to be placed on to the table so we can surprise her. - What are they doing? Why's Vanessa in his car? - I don't (CHUCKLES) know. - (CHUCKLES) - The idiot. Why isn't she` Where is Fehi? 'But she will not leave the reception area at Hill St. 'I head to distract her and take her down into the dressing room, 'so we could casketise the loved one with Fehi.' That was one of the moves we had to pull to get her away from the front door in order to get all the kai upstairs. - Wait. Save some. I want some for the cake. - Oh, yeah, you can have those too. - One of the most important things was to make sure we got oysters, cos she loves her tio. - I think I'm going to put these oysters on the cake. - Make sure I won't eat the cake, then. - Oyster... - Oyster juice on top! - Hey! It's not your cake. - We're all set, ready to go. Is she coming up? - Oh, I thought you said she is. - Yeah, just bring her. Tell her we're wait` Say, 'Dear, we're waiting upstairs. We're hungry.' - Surprise! - (STRUMS GUITAR) # Happy birthday to you. Mere, I can't hear you. - MERE AND FRANCIS: # Happy birthday to you. - 'Everyone has their own strengths, but not everyone is able to sing.' They might've got a bit` you know, stage fright, possibly. (CHUCKLES) One more time. (SINGS) 'Happy birthday...' - I love that the kaimahi have come together to celebrate my birthday. - ALL: # Happy birthday to you. # - Look at that! Those are cool! - We just had to add them on there. - (GASPS) Those oysters! Not often do we get that opportunity to come together and have a bit of a celebration. - Look at the cake. - Yes, I think that's really cute. - My wife, she got the beautiful cake, which Vanessa organised for her, and the oysters. And that's really all she needs. We didn't eat all day, cos we knew you were gonna have a birthday do. Eh, Jay? - I'm starting to haemorrhage. - I wasn't quite ladylike eating that food, was I? But...(LAUGHS) I'm one that'll just, like, hoover that whole lot back. Mm! - Very good? - It is beautiful. - Fiona's not able to be with us physically, cos she has COVID. So she was` We called her in on the phone to be part of our little celebration. Hi, dear. We're just about to blow the cake. Cos we were gonna call you to be part of` - That's a lie! - I felt a bit special from, you know, Nona FaceTiming in. - # Manuia lou aso fanau. - Fa'afetai. - FIONA: # Manuia lou aso fanau. - I was waiting for her to give us flack, but... I must've been special to her. Thank you, Nona. - FEHI: Ah, sala. - VANESSA: - Oh. Can't do that. - FIONA: Yeah, a blow-up doll. - Oh, she said a blow-up doll. Oi aue! All right, dear. - Ka kite ano! - Ka kite! Tofa soifua. Bye! - Fa! - Fa! - Fa. - Oh, see, she just wanted to be part of the cake, cos she was angry. So let me guess what your wish was. - Oh, OK. - To find Fehi a husband. Ooh! Happy birthday, my bunny. (TINKLY MUSIC) Today, in our care, we have the late Stanley Neho, who was 59 years old (VOICE BREAKS) and passed away due to a heart attack. Stan ` He was the longest-serving funeral director of Tipene Funerals. He was the pou tokomanawa of the whare. - (INAUDIBLE) I felt, at the time, was just disbelief. And... VOICE BREAKS: What am I gonna do now? (SOMBRE MUSIC) - Casket. 'We've casketised a lot of people.' That's it. Just to there. Now we put a brake on. 'To be able to casketise Stan 'was our privilege.' One more. One, two, three. Stan, you know what we have to do here. 'In order to get through it, you had to clock out.' That's usually his mahi, is to strap the waewae. So we'll do it nice, please. Not have a relationship for a moment, not be invested in him for a moment, just to get him in the casket. VOICE BREAKS: I think all of us had to go through that together. (STAPLER CLICKS) - (SNIFFLES) There we go. One more. - 'This whole process has been very difficult for myself.' Uplifting him, transferring him from the bed to the stretcher. Transferring him from the stretcher to the mortuary table. All those movements have been a confirmation for me that he's passed. You know, he's not moving. And... once we've placed him in his` in his moenga... (INHALES DEEPLY) (SIGHS) that was it. - (SNIFFLES) Oh, jeez. - I'm watching my tane seal it with the calico,... and that whole process of him doing his final touch-ups with the casket was very challenging. So... to all those loved ones that we cared for, I get it. - Your boo-boo's coming to glue your lips and your eyes. (SNIFFS) (KAIORA CHUCKLES) You never` You say to me, 'Oh, you're too rough.' He wants Fehi. So I told her, 'Dear, come and look after him.' Yeah, so she's gonna have that honour. Up we go, and down together. Come on, Stan. We go to Hill St. We go together. Kei te pai? You're in the back now, Mr Neho. Normally out the front here arguing with me. (SOBS) (QUIET CHATTER) When we arrived to the Henderson funeral home, the car park was full of people wanting to pay their respects to Stan. The inside of the funeral home was at capacity, and it's testament to him. Stan's tangihanga was such a big event that, you know, not everyone was able to come at such short notice. So they were live-streaming the service for those who couldn't be here. And it just gave people the opportunity to feel like they were part of the service. (WOMAN PERFORMS KARANGA) - We should know how our people... tangi. They don't just come in singly. They come in ope after ope. I have to say, I wasn't prepared for that. And I'm happy that we had all of Henderson branch completely booked out for him. You know, this is his whare. He built Henderson branch. He had a hand in all the branches that we've built. So it only was fitting that he had that right to hog the space. (ALL SING WAIATA) - The two days Stan was at the Henderson Branch, there was just a continuous flow of manuhiri. There were kura that he taught at, with kapa haka. He wasn't only a funeral director. He was involved with lots of community events, you know, his sound, lighting, concerts, but also the children ` the tamariki at different schools, kura and colleges with him teaching kapa haka. And so all of these tamariki and kura came to pay their respects to Stan, along with friends and whanau. And that happened over the two days whilst he was here. Stan will be at the Henderson funeral home chapel for two nights ` Wednesday night and Thursday night. And on Friday afternoon, we'll move him from the Henderson branch through to the Onehunga chapel at Hill St, where he'll lay there for his final night, for poroporoaki and a concert. - # Toia mai te waka nei. # Kumea mai te waka nei. # - A po whakangahau is usually a night of entertainment. For tangihanga, we call it a poroporoaki te po whakamutunga ` the last night that his body will be here with us. And so this, his final night, we decided ` and the whanau decided ` to put on a concert for him. - Again, without further ado, with a Siva Samoa, from Tipene Funerals, Whaea Fiona! (CHEERING, UPBEAT SAMOAN MUSIC PLAYS) - The fact that the staff were able to perform for Stan, I think, was their highlight. He probably would have been like, 'Fooh! Neat!' You know, because he hasn't seen that side of some of the staff before. So I'm confident he enjoyed it. - It was so cool to see Nona, Leka, Sefa get in there and even Tamale and Fehi do their tribute. I felt aroha for my Fehi. You know, that was her boo-boo. Uncle Stan was her boo-boo. I feel that was probably her last tribute to him, so I could feel her. (ALL SING WAIATA) Been a while since I've done the poi. And of course, my husband, eh ` 'Hey, make sure you're on point.' Oh! (BLOWS RASPBERRY) You just sing the song. (WAIATA CONTINUES) I just get a bit emotional, you know. But, yeah, I had to suck it up and... finish that poi. (WAIATA ENDS, CHEERING, APPLAUSE) We were able to celebrate him that night. (SOLEMN MUSIC) - Thank you for being here with us as we prepare to hit the road and travel north after such an extraordinary evening. So this is us, e hoa. This is our final time we have with you here in the chapel. And we're gonna take you home... (EMOTIONALLY) to your tupuna, and we're gonna come back without you. The little tikanga here is that all our mate, they go out the back there with, you know, the hearse, but, today, we take you out the front door. - WOMAN: # Whakaaria mai. - There were so many times where he would go and place the lid on, and someone would cry, then he would take it off. There were so many times where he was ever so patient when I would say, 'Stan, put the lid on,' he'd say... (SPEAKS TE REO MAORI) 'There's a lady coming to pay her respects.' You know, so all of that just brought back all those memories to me, to my staff, because we all know Stan for that. He was just so, like` always look around` 'Anyone else? Anyone else?' 'Put the lid on! You know, 'Anyone else?' because ko te aroha i roto i a ia ` the love that he had within him for the many people that he served, I just can't` It had to take him to die for me to see that, for me to feel that, and I'm sorry. But he was the man. He was amazing. - (WAILS) - ALL: # Whakaaria mai # tou ripeka ki au. - When we left with Stan, it was important for us to carry him out the front door. The front door, which we reserved for, you know, hunga ora. We just felt like we wanted him to go out the front door for the last time. He meant so much to all of us. We loved him so much, and that's what we wanted to do. That was a final thing that we could do here in Tamaki Makaurau for our mate. - # Amene. # - MAN: ...ka whakamaua kia tina. - Tina! - Haumi e, hui e. - Taiki e! (WOMAN PERFORMS KARANGA) (SOMBRE MUSIC) We're going to Pipiwai, to a marae called Kaikou, but commonly known by a lot of whanau as Eparaima Marae. There, Stan will lay for a few hours until such time we'll take him to Te Rahurahu urupa where he'll lay next to his late father. (MAN SPEAKS TE REO MAORI) There are lots of tributes, tributes from people far and wide. People have come from as far as Wellington, all the way up north, east and west coast to pay their respects. The remaining resounding words that were left behind is that Stan will always be remembered for being the person that cared about many others other than himself. And the emails, the letters, the messages from different families ` they were all saying he was so caring, and that's a beautiful legacy to be left behind for his children and his wahine to carry on. My name is Francis, and I've been given this great privilege by his beautiful wahine. Auntie Lori, thank you and your tamariki for allowing me to officiate Stan's final service in order to pay your last respects. When the service starts, we talk about memories that we've had. We laugh; we cry all in one sentence, all in one phrase, because that is how we are, as Maori. - Stan, for his 21st, he got tickets to Renee Geyer, and he was looking forward to it. Their bright idea was to go and have a few beers first, and they got drunk. And Stan went to the concert, and he fell asleep. (LAUGHTER) And those fullas didn't wake him up, and when he woke up, the concert was finished. (LAUGHTER) - We want to bring it all out, lay it on the floor of the marae, of wherever we are, and leave it there. So it's out of your system, out of your tinana, out of your mouth. And you put it there before us so that we can all share it and help heal to move forward. - One night, I got a bit emotional. And this was probably brought on by a bit of beverage. (LAUGHTER) This particular night, I was so grateful for Mr Knee Hoe. The name came about when someone called here one day, and they asked for Mr Knee Hoe. And, you know, the pronunciation, we all know, was a little bit off, and from that day, (SMACKS TEETH) I just never moved. I always referred to him as Mr Knee Hoe. I knew he had ongoing heart problems, that it was only a matter of time. So every time I had a beverage, I had my moment with him, (VOICE BREAKS) and I would treat it like it was my last. And I started telling him how grateful I was and how I couldn't be anywhere without him. 'Oh, how lovely, Mrs Tipene,' he says. 'I love you heaps,' he said. TEARFULLY: Physically, I know he's just there, but... It's like... letting go. (INHALES SHARPLY) And... (SIGHS) I just don't want to. (SOBS) Thank you for being you. Thank you for the father figure role you played in our lives. Thank you for your love and support you gave to Tipene Funerals. But for me, personally, thank you for dedicating your last years to me and my husband. (SNIFFLES) 'I'd like to believe that he's with me a-wairua.' I just have to draw on his teachings and his` his guidance... to help me... (SIGHS) in the coming days. Stanley Neho is company director of Tipene Funerals. (SNIFFLES) It is with heavy heart that I accept your resignation as a funeral director. (SOBS) It is time to hang up that suit and leave that ID badge. SOBS: Enjoy all the many tupuna who await you. Go with our love, Mr Knee Hoe. And I really don't wanna say these words, but... Haere, haere, haere atu ra. (SOLEMN STRING MUSIC) - My wife gave a beautiful korero, and that summed it up perfectly. I'm just glad my wife and I were together, near each other at the time, because, yeah, the time was coming where we had to close his casket and lower him into the ground. The children, the mokopuna, haere mai. We'll come up together. We're going to close his casket, and this is very, very difficult. The hardest thing for everyone here, (VOICE BREAKS) Stan, is that you're not coming back. (ALL PERFORM HAKA) (PENSIVE MUSIC) - Haere mai! Haere mai! - Haere mai! Haere mai! - Kua tae te wa. We need to lower Stan into the ground, into Papatuanuku, where he'll remain, and we will do that with the most respect we could give him and with all the love in our hearts that we can give him. And so he's lowered into the ground, and we know now this is real; he's not coming home, and... (SPEAKS TE REO MAORI) Forevermore. Mm. - TEARFULLY: Walking away from the urupa is very challenging. And... you just... (SNIFFLES) You just don't wanna leave him behind. (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - No reira, e hoa, Stan, haere, haere, haere. Rest in peace, e hoa. (SOBS SOFTLY) Stan? Yeah, we're just gonna take you home now, dear. And they wanted a hymn ` How Great Thou Art. - Oh, yeah. - You mind singing with me? - Yeah. - Do you wanna take the high or the low? - Well, you always have the lead. - OK, you harmonise, eh? - And I'll come in somewhere.