OOH, I COULD EAT HIM UP! I SWEAR I COULD, WITH A LITTLE RANCH DRESSING! OK, BUT LET'S NOT, OK? I CAN'T MAKE THAT PROMISE. OK, DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR AUNTIES, OK? THEY'RE A LITTLE KOOKY. US GUYS GOTTA STICK TOGETHER, DON'T WE, PETER? PETER? PETER. I'M JUST... FLOATING IT. HMM. IS YOUR NAME PETER? FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, I DATED A PETER IN HIGH SCHOOL, AND HE WASN'T VERY NICE. YEAH, AND YOU KNOW, FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, IT'S KIND OF THE NAME OF THE APPENDAGE THAT HE HAS THAT SURPRISED US ALL SO MUCH, AND IT MIGHT GET HIM TEASED AT SCHOOL. OK, NO PETER, BUT WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF 'P's. CAN'T BELIEVE WE NEVER THOUGHT OF "P" BOY NAMES. WELL, WHEN I WENT TO THE FUTURE, I HAD A LITTLE GIRL, AND OBVIOUSLY, THAT HAS CHANGED, AS HAS A LOT OF THINGS, BUT, UM... I'M STILL HAVING TROUBLE LETTING GO OF THE NAME WE SETTLED ON. YEAH, WELL, PRUDENCE MELINDA MIGHT GET HIM IN TROUBLE AT SCHOOL, TOO. (LAUGHS) I'M THINKING THAT'S PROBABLY TRUE, ALTHOUGH, HE COULD JUST ZAP THEM ON TO A ROOF LIKE HARRY POTTER WOULD. GOD, I HOPE NOT. AREN'T YOU EXCITED TO SEE WHAT HIS POWERS ARE? EXCITED...TERRIFIED... I MEAN, AFTER SEEING WHAT THE KID COULD DO INSIDE THE WOMB, HE'S NO MUGGLE. HEY, WHAT ABOUT POTTER? POTTER HALLIWELL. OR IS IT WYATT? NO, IT'S DEFINITELY HALLIWELL. DEMONS FEAR IT. GOOD MAGIC RESPECTS IT, AND I WANT WHAT'S BEST FOR HIM. THAT'S WHY I'M GONNA SAY NO TO POTTER. OH, SOMEBODY'S GETTING VERY SLEEPY. COME ON. CCHH. WE LOVE YOU, WE LOVE YOU, BABY, SO MUCH, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU. BYE, BABY. YOU'RE PERFECT. YOU PERFECT LITTLE CREATURE. IT'S TOO BAD WITH ALL THE POWERS YOUR BABY HAS, SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT IS NOT ONE OF THEM. YEAH, I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT, GUYS. MAYBE WE CAN CAST SOME SORT OF SOUNDPROOFING SPELL AROUND OUR BEDROOM SO YOU WON'T HAVE TO-- NO WAY. IT'LL INTERFERE WITH THE BABY'S ALARM SYSTEM. WHICH WORKS HOW, EXACTLY? AH, PRETTY BASIC STUFF. I JUST ENCHANTED A FEW COWRIE SHELLS. THAT'S NOT GONNA SHOCK ANYTHING, IS IT? IN THE NURSERY? I'M NOT A TOTAL IDIOT. IT'LL JUST ALERT US TO THE PRESENCE OF EVIL SO WE CAN ALL SLEEP A LITTLE SOUNDER. NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I NEED TO APPLY SOME UNDER-EYE MAKE-UP TO THESE DARK CIRCLES THAT YOUR SWEET BABY CAUSED. WHERE ARE YOU GOING? I'M JUST GONNA GO WATCH HIM SLEEP FOR A LITTLE WHILE! PHOEBE YOU MUST GO TO WORK. AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO MEET THE NEW OWNER OF THE PAPER TODAY? I KNOW, BUT IT'S JUST SO HARD TO LEAVE HIM. SHOULDN'T THERE BE SOME SORT OF MATERNITY LEAVE FOR NEW AUNTIES? PHOEBE, THE CLUB IS NOT RAKING IN THE DOUGH THESE DAYS AND PAIGE IS UNEMPLOYED, THE COST OF DIAPERS... WE KINDA NEED YOU TO KEEP YOUR JOB. YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M GOING. JUST NO PETER, OK? AND NO PATRICK, AND I REALLY THINK YOU SHOULD CONSIDER POTTER, 'CAUSE IT'S A GREAT NAME, OK? JUST DON'T MAKE ANY DECISIONS UNTIL I GET BACK, PLEASE. TIME TO GO. AND DO ME A FAVOUR AND KISS HIS LITTLE TOES FOR ME WHEN HE WAKES UP. WHEN ARE YOU GONNA TALK TO HER? OH, SHE'S JUST EXCITED. EXCITED...OBSESSED. WHY? BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO WATCH HER NEPHEW SLEEP? NO, BECAUSE YESTERDAY SHE WAS GIVING YOU BREASTFEEDING ADVICE, AND NOW SHE WANTS MATERNITY LEAVE? WELL, SHE KNOWS A LOT ABOUT BREASTS. AND SHE'S AN AUNT. THAT'S WHAT THEY DO. IT'S FAMILY, YOU KNOW. OK. WELL, HOW IS MOMMY DOING? MOMMY'S TIRED. AND HAPPY. WANNA TRY AND GET SOME SLEEP? MM-HMM. THE BABY! WHAT? THE BABY! AAH! HEY! SON OF A... (BABY CRIES) WAY TO GO, LITTLE GUY. WAY TO USE YOUR POWERS! YOU OK? NO, YOU'RE OK. IT'S ALL RIGHT. YOU'RE OK. DID THEY SCARE YOU? YOU'RE OK. YOU'RE OK. IT JUST PISSES ME OFF. I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY WOULD COME IN THE HOUSE AND TRY TO STEAL THE BABY! PIPER, DEMONS AREN'T EXACTLY KNOWN FOR THEIR MORAL COMPASS. AT LEAST HE'LL BE SAFE WITH THE ELDERS UNTIL WE CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BUT HE'S JUST A BABY. HE'S SMALL AND LITTLE AND INNOCENT! IT'S OK. HE'S GOT THAT INVINCIBILITY THING GOING ON. DO YOU THINK THAT'S PERMANENT OR LIKE A BABY TEETH THING? I HAVE NO IDEA, BUT THE DEMONS SAW THE FORCE FIELD. THEY'RE GONNA TRY AND FIND A WAY AROUND IT. UNLESS THEY CAN GET UP TO ELDER-LAND, HE'S GONNA BE FINE. WELL, HE CAN'T STAY UP THERE FOREVER! THAT'S WHAT WE'RE HERE FOR. NO ONE IS GONNA STEAL HIM. I PROMISE YOU THAT. (SIGHS) LEO? THEY WOULDN'T KEEP HIM. WHAT? WHY? DID YOU TELL THEM WHAT'S GOING ON? THEY WANT US TO PROVE TO OURSELVES THAT WE CAN PROTECT HIM LIKE YOUR MOM AND GRAMS DID FOR YOU. (BABY CRIES) OH, NO, BABY, IT'S OK. IT'S OK. WE DON'T NEED THEM ANYWAY. IT'S ALL RIGHT. YOU OK? I'M HAVING SOME SEVERE SEPARATION ANXIETY ISSUES. WE CAN DO THIS, HONEY. HA. HEY. HERE HE IS, THE HAWKER DEMON. A BREED OF DEMON KNOWN FOR HAWKING MAGICAL GOODS AT THE DEMONIC MARKET. MAGICAL GOODS? MY BABY IS A MAGICAL GOOD? THAT IS JUST SICK AND TWISTED. THE QUESTION IS WHO WOULD WANT TO BUY HIM AND WHY? WE PAID YOU FOR A BABY... NOT A GYPSY! AND I TOLD YOU THE LITTLE BRAT HAD A FORCE FIELD PROTECTING IT! WHICH IS WHY WE WANT IT, YOU IDIOT. THE SHIELD IS WHAT MAKES THAT KID A PERFECT BATTERY. A SELF-SUSTAINING, NEVER-ENDING SOURCE OF MAGICAL POWER. WE TAP INTO THAT POWER, AND IT WILL RETURN US TO OUR FORMER STRENGTH! OR WOULD YOU HAVE US STAY WEAKLINGS, HAWKER, DOOMED TO FEED ON THE MAGIC OF OTHERS FOREVER? LOOK...I AM SORRY THAT THE WITCH CURSED YOU, AND I'M SORRY THAT YOU LOST ALL OF YOUR POWERS. THAT'S A TOUGH BREAK. BUT IT'S NOT MY FAULT! WOMAN: HAWKER! MADAM. HOW MAY I SERVE YOU TODAY? THE EYES OF 2 DOZEN ADULT BROWN BATS AND A LARGE BOAR'S TONGUE, PLEASE. RIGHT AWAY. WE'RE NOT FINISHED HERE. SHE CAN WAIT HER TURN. (CHUCKLES) BOTTOM FEEDERS. WHAT IS IT THAT'S KEEPING YOU ALIVE TODAY, HMM? FEED ON A TROLL FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING? BACK OFF, CRONE. I SENSE DANGER, HAWKER. THE TASK THESE LEECHES SEEK YOU FOR WILL BRING ONLY DEATH AND DESTRUCTION, AND NOT TO OUR ENEMIES. TURN THEM AWAY. YOUR ORDER, MADAM. YOU'RE NOT GONNA LISTEN TO THAT CRAZY OLD WRETCH, ARE YOU? THE CRONE'S WISDOM IS ANCIENT AND RENOWNED. I HAVE ALREADY LOST ONE DEMON ON THIS JOB. NOW, YOU EITHER TAKE THE GYPSY OR NOTHING. WE'LL TAKE THE GYPSY TO TIDE US OVER. AND WE'LL DOUBLE THE BOUNTY ON THE INFANT. OR MAYBE WE'LL PAY THAT TO ANOTHER HAWKER... IN WHICH CASE THE BOUNTY WILL BE ON YOUR HEAD. I KNOW IT'S NOT MUCH OF A CHOICE, BUT THERE IT IS-- WE FIND WAYS TO MAKE HIM HAPPY, OR WE FIND NEW JOBS. WELL, HE CAN'T BE ANY TOUGHER TO PLEASE THAN YOU, RIGHT, ELISE? HA HA. ONE CAN ONLY HOPE. ALL I KNOW IS THAT HIS NAME IS JASON DEAN, HE'S NEW MONEY, SOME KIND OF DOT-COM MILLIONAIRE, AND HE'S KNOWN FOR HIS SHAKING UP THE COMPANIES THAT HE BUYS. SHAKING UP AS IN LAYOFFS? HONESTLY, KATE, YOU KNOW AS MUCH AS I DO. SO YOU DON'T KNOW IF YOU'LL BE EMPLOYED TOMORROW EITHER. LOOK, GUYS, HE'LL BE HERE SOON, AND WE CAN GET A BETTER READ THEN. IN THE MEANTIME, I SUGGEST WE ALL GET BACK TO WORK. WORK, SCHMIRK. I GOT BABY PICTURES HERE! GATHER 'ROUND, PEOPLE. YOU ARE LOOKING AT 6 POUNDS, 8 OUNCES OF PURE DELICIOUSNESS. HOW'S YOUR SISTER DOING? HEALTHY AS A HORSE. YOU THINK HE'S GONNA KEEP THOSE BLUE EYES? HE MIGHT, BECAUSE HIS DADDY HAS LIGHT EYES. HOW OLD IS HE? 3 WEEKS TODAY. WOW. YOU LOOK PRETTY GOOD FOR A WOMAN WHO HAD A BABY 3 WEEKS AGO. OH, NO, I'M NOT HIS MOMMY. I'M JUST HIS-- AUNTIE. HI. HAVE WE MET? JASON DEAN. OH, GOD! I'M SORRY. Y-Y-YOU'RE MR. DEAN? JASON, PLEASE. WOW, THAT'S SOME WEIRD STUFF BECAUSE YOU'RE... REALLY... YOUNG. YOUNG. YEAH. YEAH. YOU KNOW, IT'S STRANGE. I ALWAYS PICTURED A NEWSPAPER BULLPEN AS BEING A LITTLE MORE-- I DON'T KNOW-- BUSTLING. BUS-BUS-- BUSTLING. BUSTLING. OH, HEY, NO! (LAUGHS) UM...I'M ELISE ROTHMAN. LET ME SHOW YOU AROUND. HONESTLY, ELISE, I DIDN'T MEAN TO INSULT YOUR TEAM. I GREW UP READING COMIC BOOKS-- THE DAILY PLANET... BUSTLED. YEAH, BUT IN ALL FAIRNESS, SUPERMAN CAN MOVE FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET, SO HE'S GOT A LITTLE LEG-UP ON THE BUSTLING, YOU KNOW? A WOMAN WHO KNOWS HER SUPERHEROES. I'M IMPRESSED. I'M--I'M PHOEBE. I KNOW. I BEEN DOING A LOT OF HOMEWORK. A LOT OF READING. CIRCULATION IS DOWN, AND-- OH, SORRY. I PLAN TO BRING IT UP, AND FROM WHAT I'VE SEEN, THAT'S GONNA START WITH YOU. WOW. THAT'S REALLY... SWEET. ISN'T THAT SWEET? DID YOU HEAR THAT? I'M SORRY ABOUT THE LITTLE PICTURE SHOW, YOU KNOW? OH, IF I HAD A NEPHEW THAT CUTE, I'D SHOW HIM OFF, TOO. BEST I CAN DO IS... PICTURE OF MY DOG. MR. DEAN, IF YOU'D LIKE, I COULD GIVE YOU A TOUR. GREAT. PHOEBE, LET'S TALK SOON. HE HAS YOUR EYES. WELL... THE NEIGHBOURS WHO DON'T ALREADY THINK WE'RE CRAZY NOW OFFICIALLY DO. BUT THE HOUSE IS SURROUNDED BY APPLES AND SAGE. THANK YOU. I KNOW YOU THINK IT'S A WASTE OF TIME, BUT-- WELL, IF IT WORKED, WE WOULD HAVE DONE IT ALREADY. EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS. ALL RIGHT. HOW'S YOUR RITUAL COMING? IT'S NOT. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA TRY TO CALL THE BABY'S FAERIE GUARDS. WE WERE. WE ARE. BUT TO PERFORM THE RITUAL PROPERLY, WE HAVE TO HAVE A NAME FOR THE BABY FIRST. SO WE BUSTED OUT THE FAMILY TREE, HOPING TO FIND SOME NEW IDEAS. LET ME SEE. OK, RIGHT AWAY I'M GONNA SAY I'M AGAINST THE NAME HERBERT. YEAH, WE ALREADY VETOED CLARENCE AND MILTON AS WELL. NOT TO BE TOO SELF-CENTRED, BUT WHERE AM I ON THE TREE? OH, UH... WELL, WE HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE TO UPDATE IT LATELY. OH. RIGHT. YEAH. THE BABY'S NOT EVEN ON THERE EITHER. WELL, YEAH. THAT'S BECAUSE HE DOESN'T HAVE A NAME YET, LEO. WELL, PAIGE, IT'S JUST A PIECE OF PAPER. IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING. I KNOW THAT. ANYWAY... WICCAN RITUALS AND FAERIE GUARDS NOTWITHSTANDING, I THINK IT'S TIME WE BUST OUT SOME SERIOUS AMMO. AS IN... AS IN A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED DEMON HUNT. I SAY WE BYPASS THE HAWKER AND GO FOR THE JERK THAT HIRED HIM TO STEAL THE BABY IN THE FIRST PLACE. HOW? NOT SO SURE JUST YET. BUT... I WILL SAY THIS. ONCE WE FIND HIM, WE USE HIM TO SEND A MESSAGE: "IF YOU COME AFTER THIS BABY, YOU WILL DIE IN THE CRUELLEST MANNER POSSIBLE." WELL, I LIKE THE MESSAGE. UM...YOU KNOW, EXCEPT... EXCEPT FOR THE PART WHERE I HAVE TO LEAVE MY NEWBORN CHILD TO GO DEMON HUNTING. I'M JUST-- I'M NOT READY. OK, FINE. I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT. I'LL JUST, UH... I'LL TAKE PHOEBE. EXCEPT THAT SHE'S GOT A REALLY BIG DAY AT WORK TODAY, AND WE KINDA NEED HER MONEY RIGHT NOW. I'LL GO BY MYSELF. NO WAY. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT KIND OF DEMON WE'RE UP AGAINST. FINE. BUT I AM THE BABY'S GODMOTHER. IT'S MY JOB TO PROTECT HIM, AND IF I DON'T STOP HIM, THE HAWKER WILL COME BACK. ALL RIGHT. THEN LET'S GET READY FOR HIM. EXACTLY. WE'LL LAY A TRAP FOR HIM. MAYBE WE'LL KIDNAP HIM AND SELL HIM TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER. WHAT DO YOU THINK? THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. THEN WE COULD FIND OUT WHO HIRED HIM AND FORCE HIM TO TAKE US TO THEM. PAIGE: NO. IT SOUNDS RISKY. HE HAS HIS OWN FORCE FIELD AND YOUR ALARM SYSTEM. IT'S NO MORE RISKY THAN YOU GOING OFF ON YOUR OWN ON SOME WILD GOOSE CHASE. HE'S RIGHT. YOU SHOULD GO GET THE CRYSTALS FOR THE TRAP. FINE. SHH, SHH. (TELEPHONE RINGS) HELLO? SHH! DON'T HELLO ME. YOU KNOW WHO I'M CALLING TO TALK TO. WELL, HE'S RESTING RIGHT NOW. HOW'D IT GO WITH THE NEW BOSS? OH, JASON DEAN? I WANT TO BEAR HIS CHILDREN BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT. NOW LET ME TALK-- WHAT? YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON THE NEW BOSS? I DON'T THINK I LIKE YOUR TONE OF VOICE, MISTER. NOW PLEASE LET ME TALK TO MY NEPHEW. I DON'T WANT HIM TO FORGET MY VOICE. WELL, HE NEEDS HIS REST. IT'S...BEEN A LITTLE HECTIC AROUND HERE. HECTIC? WHAT DO YOU MEAN HECTIC? WELL, I...I DIDN'T WANT TO WORRY YOU, BUT THERE WAS AN ATTACK. THEY WERE AFTER THE BABY. WHAT? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? I DID TELL YOU. I--I JUST TOLD YOU. OK, WELL, I'M COMING HOME. YOU DON'T HAVE TO. IT'S UNDER CONTROL. THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. WE'LL CALL YOU IF WE NEED YOU. LEO, THIS IS MY NEPHEW WE'RE TALKING ABOUT. YOU SHOULD HAVE CALLED ME. I'LL JUST TELL JASON I HAVE TO WORK FROM HOME THE REST OF THE DAY. IN TODAY'S MARKET, IMAGE AND CONTENT ARE INSEPARABLE. WE COULD PUBLISH A PULITZER-PRIZE WINNING ARTICLE, BUT WITH OUR PUNY CIRCULATION, WHO'S GONNA NOTICE? HI. IS THIS A BAD TIME? NO. COME IN, COME IN. HERE. LOOK AT THIS WOMAN. BEAUTIFUL, SMART, FUNNY. AND SHE CAN WRITE. WITH THE RIGHT EXPOSURE, SHE COULD KICK DEAR ABBY DOWN INTO THE BUSH LEAGUES. SHE'S A COMMODITY. THANK YOU, I--I THINK. NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION-- AND WE'VE WORKED HARD TO CAPITALISE ON HER. SHE HAS BILLBOARDS. SHE'S DONE GUEST SPOTS ON LOCAL RADIO SHOWS. SHE DID THAT SPREAD IN 415 MAGAZINE. DON'T THINK I DIDN'T SEE IT. WHAT I WAS WONDERING WAS WHAT WE COULD DO DIFFERENTLY WITH REGARD TO CONTENT. CONTENT? I WAS THINKING WE EXPAND HER COLUMN... HAVE HER WRITE A SERIES OF FEATURES ROAD TESTING HER OWN ADVICE, OR A SERIES ON THE BEST SINGLES SPOTS IN SAN FRANCISCO BASED ON HER OWN UNDERCOVER EXPERIENCE. I LIKE IT. PHOEBE AND I CAN WORK THIS AFTERNOON PUTTING SOME IDEAS TOGETHER-- NO, WE CAN'T. I'M SORRY, BUT I HAVE TO WORK FROM HOME FOR THE REST OF THE AFTERNOON. WHY? BECAUSE I HAVE A NEW BABY--A NEW NEPHEW AT HOME, AND HE DEMANDS A LOT OF ATTENTION-- BUT HE'S GOT PARENTS, RIGHT? IS THERE SOMETHING HERE I'M MISSING? NO. LOOK, ELISE HAS NEVER MINDED ME WORKING FROM HOME. YES, BUT PHOEBE, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT EXPANDING YOUR COLUMN. I SHOULD THINK YOU'D WANT A HAND IN WHAT THAT'S GONNA LOOK LIKE. WELL, OF COURSE I DO, ELISE, BUT-- ARE WE NOT PAYING YOU ENOUGH? NO, THAT'S NOT IT! OK, SIT DOWN WITH ELISE, COME UP WITH SOME NEW IDEAS, AND DISCUSS WHAT YOU THINK YOUR NEW SALARY SHOULD BE. WE'LL MEET AGAIN LATE THIS AFTERNOON. (CELLPHONE RINGS) YEAH? WHY WOULD SOMEBODY WANT TO HURT SOMETHING SO INNOCENT? POOR PAIGE. SHE'S GETTING ALL THE HASSLES OF PARENTHOOD WITH NONE OF THE REWARDS. I THINK A SMILE FROM HER NEPHEW IS ALL SHE'LL EVER WANT. IT'S GONNA BE OK, PIPER. HOW? BECAUSE BABIES ARE RESILIENT, AND OURS HAS A LITTLE EXTRA OF THAT. BUT EVEN SO, IT CAN'T BE GOOD FOR HIM. EVEN IF HE CAN HANDLE THE DEMONS, HE MUST SENSE THE TENSION, WHICH MEANS AT THE VERY BEST WE END UP WITH A NEUROTIC INFANT. LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE--GROWING UP WITH YOUR SISTERS, HE WAS BOUND TO BE NEUROTIC ANYWAY. PIPER: NO! LEO! I GUESS I OVERCHARGED IT. I GOT YA, BUB. YOU'RE ALL RIGHT. HOW'S MY LITTLE BUDDY DOING, HUH? I THINK WE NEED A LITTLE BIT OF HEALING HERE. HE LOOKS FINE TO ME. NOT HIM. ME. OH... AH... LEO: OK, EASY. EASY. WATCH HER HEAD. MAKE SURE YOU HOLD HER HANDS. WE DON'T WANT HER BLOWING ANYTHING UP. JUST DO IT. AAH! WHERE'S THE BABY? IT'S ALL RIGHT, HONEY. HE'S OK. THEY KNEW ABOUT THE FORCE FIELD. THEY ALMOST FLEW HIM OUT OF THE WINDOW! YEAH, BUT THEY DIDN'T, AND RIGHT NOW OUR CONCERN IS ABOUT YOU. ME? WHY? I'M HEALED. YES, BUT THE FACT IS THAT YOU NEEDED TO BE HEALED. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. YEAH. I GUESS I'M NOT SO INVINCIBLE ANY MORE, HUH? WELL, IT MAKES SENSE, SINCE YOU GOT THE POWER FROM HIM, AND HE'S NOT INSIDE YOU ANY MORE. I WAS JUST HOPING HE'D LEAVE A LITTLE BIT BEHIND FOR MAMA. WELL, THE THEORY DID OCCUR TO ME, BUT I HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE TO TEST IT OUT. THIS IS SERIOUS, PIPER. YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO BE CAREFUL AGAIN NOW THAT YOU'RE VULNERABLE. I DON'T HAVE THE LUXURY OF BEING CAREFUL NOW THAT HALF OF DEMONVILLE IS AFTER OUR CHILD. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT USING THE ATHAME TO SCRY FOR THE DEMONIC MARKET? IT MAKES SENSE THAT THE HAWKER DEMON GOT IT THERE. YEAH... WE CAN DISGUISE OURSELVES AS DEMONS, INFILTRATE THE MARKET, AND PRETEND THAT WE KNOW HOW TO GET THE CHARMED ONES' BABY. IT'S A SMART PLAN. THEN WE COULD FIND OUT WHAT SICKO IS IN THE MARKET TO BUY HIM. RIGHT. THEN WE VANQUISH THEM, EVERYONE THEY'VE EVER MET, AND PROCEED WITH OUR ORIGINAL DEMON-KILLING MESSAGE-SENDING PLAN. IT'S A VERY WORDY, VERY GOOD PLAN. OH, IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO SEND THE MOTHER OF MY CHILD INTO THE HORNETS' NEST BECAUSE YOU OVERCHARGED THE TRAP? OH, GEE, ONE LITTLE MISTAKE, MAN. IT'S OK. SHE'S RIGHT. WE CAN GO. RIGHT. YOU'RE SURE YOU'RE OK TO DO THIS? NO. I CAN'T GO. OK. I'LL JUST GO CHECK THE BOOK OF SHADOWS, SEE IF I MISSED ANYTHING. HE'LL BE OK. I THINK IT'S TIME WE CALL PHOEBE. I CALLED HER. SHE SAID SHE WAS ON HER WAY HOME. I'LL CALL HER AGAIN. YOU'RE OK, LITTLE GUY. WE'RE NOT GONNA LET ANYBODY STEAL YOU. IT'S OK, PAIGE. IT'S OK. YOU FOUGHT FAIRY TALES EARLIER THIS YEAR. YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU-- LOST, LITTLE GIRL? YOU HAVE A REALLY MESSED-UP IDEA OF CUSTOMER SERVICE. WHAT? I AM A DISSATISFIED CUSTOMER. I BOUGHT THIS ATHAME HERE AT THE MARKET. IT'S SUPPOSED TO FLAME. IT DOESN'T. I PAID A PRETTY PENNY FOR IT, TOO. AND FOR WHAT? IT ALMOST GOT ME KILLED TRYING TO STEAL THE CHARMED ONES' BABY. YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I GOT FOR MY EFFORTS? A NICE LITTLE BLANKET. MM. SWEET. OH, AND THE HAWKER WHO HIRED ME? HE GOT EIGHTY-SIXED, SO I DIDN'T EVEN GET A PAY DAY. WHO ARE YOU? I TOLD YOU. I'M A DISSATISFIED CUSTOMER. SEE? NO FLAME. SO WE THOUGHT I COULD HIT A COUPLE OF CLUBS AROUND TOWN AND TRY OUT THE PICKUP LINES THAT I SUGGESTED IN MY COLUMN. THEN SHE'LL REPORT BACK ON HOW THEY WORK OFF THE PAGE AND IN THE WORLD. I LOVE IT. IT'S SEXY AS HELL. OK, GREAT. SO...WHY DON'T I GO HOME (CELLPHONE RINGS) AND TRY TO WORK ON-- YEAH? UH-HUH. NO. NO, DEFINITELY NOT. GREAT. ARE YOU OK? YEAH. I'M FINE. I JUST--I HAVE A LITTLE BLOOD SUGAR ISSUE. IT'S NOTHING SERIOUS, BUT I HAVE TO EAT. SAY NO MORE. YOU LIKE CHINESE? FOOD, NOT PEOPLE. I REALLY NEED TO GET HOME. ELISE, COULD YOU EXCUSE US FOR A MOMENT? SURE. I'LL JUST, UM... BE OVER HERE. (MOUTHING WORDS) (DOOR CLOSES) IS THIS ABOUT YOUR SISTER'S BABY AGAIN? YES. IT IS, ACTUALLY, I NEED TO GO SPEND SOME TIME WITH HIM. WITH YOUR SISTER'S BABY. YES. LOOK, YOU MAY NOT UNDERSTAND, BUT THAT BABY NEEDS ME RIGHT NOW. IS YOUR SISTER A SINGLE PARENT? NO. LOOK... PHOEBE, I THINK IT'S REALLY WONDERFUL THAT YOU LOVE YOUR NEPHEW THIS MUCH... I REALLY DO. BUT YOU HAVE A JOB. YEAH, AND I THINK I DO IT PRETTY WELL. YES, YOU DO. UNTIL RECENTLY. EXCUSE ME? I SPENT SOME OF THE AFTERNOON GOING OVER YOUR COLUMNS FROM THE LAST FEW WEEKS, AND THEY'VE BECOME VERY... WHAT? BABY-CENTRIC. THEY'RE ALL ABOUT... DIAPERS AND MOTHER'S MILK. THEY DON'T EVEN READ LIKE YOU. THEY'VE LOST YOUR EDGE. YOU'RE SEXY. OK, WELL, ANY WRITER, ANY GOOD WRITER, USES THEIR LIFE EXPERIENCES IN THEIR WORK. THAT'S TRUE. BUT IF ALL YOU'VE GOT TO INFORM YOUR WORK IS SOMEONE ELSE'S BABY, MAYBE YOU NEED TO RE-EVALUATE YOUR PRIORITIES. I'M SORRY, MR. DEAN, BUT, PHOEBE, YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW'S ON THE PHONE, AND IT'S THE THIRD TIME HE'S CALLED. WHAT? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST ORB FOR ME WHEN THEY WOULDN'T PUT YOU THROUGH? BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE THE HOUSE UNLESS IT WAS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. OH, RIGHT. OK, SO THERE WAS ANOTHER KIDNAP ATTEMPT? YES. SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH. I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY DIDN'T PUT YOU THROUGH! THEY SAID YOU WERE IN AN IMPORTANT MEETING, AND THE BOSS SAID YOU SHOULDN'T BE DISTURBED. UNBELIEVABLE. AND HE SAYS I HAVE MY PRIORITIES MIXED UP? WHO? JASON DEAN. JASON. JASON HALLI-- DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, MISTER. PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T GET FIRED. N-NO, I DIDN-- I DON'T THINK I DID. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? THE BABY ALARM. THE BABY ALARM. WHAT?! OK. I KNOW. IT'S SO MUCH EXCITEMENT! WHAT WAS THAT ALERTING US TO, EXACTLY? DEMONS. THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE DEMONS IN THE HOUSE. LOOK AT THAT! HE'S NOT EVEN CRYING. YOU ARE SO BRAVE. YOU'RE LIKE A LITTLE BRAVE SOLDIER. MAYBE THE ALARM IS FAULTY. PAIGE WOULD KNOW. WHERE IS PAIGE? PAIGE? OH, MY GOD. SHE'S NOT HERE. OK, WHY IS THAT AN OH, MY GOD? THE SCRYING TOOLS ARE OUT. THE HAND GRENADE POTION IS GONE. WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? WHAT IS THAT, A SPELL? NO, IT'S A NOTE. "GONE TO MARKET. BACK SOON." OK, WELL, THAT'S GOOD NEWS, RIGHT? SHE WENT TO THE MARKET. RIGHT? (SIGHS) COME ON, GUYS, THIS IS TOP OF THE LINE, THE POWER TO THROW FIREBALLS 20 YARDS! NOW, LET ME HEAR A SERIOUS OFFER. IF YOU NEED ANY POWERS, THERE'S WHERE TO GO. HA HA HA! YOU'RE SUCH A GREAT TOUR GUIDE. LOOKING FOR THAT LITTLE SOMETHING EXTRA? YOU DIDN'T BECOME A DEMON TO JUST STAND ON THE SIDELINES. NOW... WATCH AND SEE WHAT MY PERMU-TONIC CAN DO FOR YOU. I THINK UP THERE'S THE GUYS YOU'RE LOOKIN' FOR. THE PARASITES. OH, PARASITES. SHOULD I BE FRIGHTENED? NAH. THEY WERE BAD-ASS ONCE, BUT SOME WITCH CURSED 'EM, TOOK AWAY THEIR POWERS. PITIFUL LITTLE BASTARDS. EVEN A GIRL LIKE YOU COULD TAKE 'EM. OH, REALLY? A GIRL LIKE ME? THEN I MIGHT JUST HAVE TO. WELL, THANK YOU FOR THE TOUR. I SUPPOSE YOU'LL BE WANTING YOUR... PAYMENT NOW. MM-HMM. YOU KNOW I WILL. FIREBALL! HEY! SORRY. HE WAS GETTING A LITTLE GRABBY. EXCUSE ME. ANYONE HERE INTERESTED IN A CHARMED ONE'S OFFSPRING? WHO ARE YOU? I'M THE REASON YOU'RE NOT GONNA NEED THAT FOOD ANY MORE, NOT AFTER YOU HEAR WHAT I HAVE TO SAY. THE FOOD...IS DEAD. YOU WERE SAYING? JUST THAT THE HAWKER WHO HIRED ME TO GRAB THE BABY SCREWED UP THE JOB AND GOT HIMSELF DEAD. HE DIDN'T SAY WHO HIRED HIM, BUT I HEARD IT WAS YOU. SO WHAT IF IT WAS? DON'T GET NERVOUS. I'M JUST HERE FOR THE BOUNTY. THE OFFER STILL STANDS, RIGHT? FIRST...TELL US WHY YOU'RE STILL ALIVE. I'LL TAKE THAT AS A YES. PIPER: COME ON, PEOPLE. TALK TO ME. BINGO. WE HAVE A LOCATION OF THE MARKET. YES! ANYTHING ON PAIGE? I CAN'T SENSE HER AT ALL. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN WE SHOULD PANIC. HER SIGNAL MIGHT BE BLOCKED BY THE MAGIC OF THE MARKETPLACE. RIGHT, THERE'S NO REASON TO PANIC. OUR SISTER WENT ALONE TO DEMONVILLE. SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT OR WHO SHE'S UP AGAINST, SO THERE'S NO REASON TO PANIC, RIGHT?! PHOEBE, IT WAS MY FAULT. I SHOULD HAVE GONE WITH HER. I WOULD HAVE GONE WITH HER HAD SHE CALLED ME. WELL, I TOLD HER NOT TO BOTHER YOU 'CAUSE YOU WERE TRYING TO IMPRESS YOUR NEW BOSS. I WAS NOT TRYING TO IMPRESS MY NEW BOSS, THANK YOU. YOU WEREN'T? BUT THIS MORNING-- WELL, I-- OK, MAYBE THIS MORNING I WAS TRYING TO IMPRESS HIM, BUT I'M NOT, SO CAN WE TALK ABOUT ANYTHING BUT JASON DEAN, PLEASE? THANK YOU VERY MUCH. YEAH, LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW WE'RE GONNA FIND PAIGE. OH. WELL, WE'RE GONNA WRITE A SPELL THAT'S GONNA CARRY US TO THE MARKET. CAN I HAVE SOME PAPER? ARE YOU OK? NO. IT'S TIME TO PANIC. OH, MY GOD! I SAY WE SUCK HER DRY. NICE AND SLOW. TEMPTING, BUT... BUT WHAT? YOU FORGET IT WAS ONE OF HER KIND WHO CURSED US TO THIS LIFE? PLEASE... SAY WE KILL HER, GET REVENGE ON YET ANOTHER WITCH. THEN WHAT? WE'RE STILL PARASITES. NOTHING WILL HAVE CHANGED. SHE'LL BE DEAD. THAT'S CHANGE. WE'LL STILL BE BOUND TO THIS TRIVIAL EXISTENCE. THINK ABOUT IT. SHE'S A CHARMED ONE. HER SISTERS WILL SENSE HER IF WE KEEP HER ALIVE... AND THEN THEY WILL COME FOR HER. AND WHEN THEY DO... THE INFANT WILL BE LEFT VULNERABLE. NO... ANYTHING? UNLESS THEY'RE INVISIBLE, THERE'S NO DEMONS IN THIS HOUSE. PIPER: THEN WHY DOES THE ALARM KEEP GOING OFF? WE'D HAVE TO ASK PAIGE. WE'D BETTER HURRY, BECAUSE FROM WHAT I SAW, SHE DOESN'T HAVE A LOT OF TIME. YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE MY BABY WHEN THE ALARM DESIGNED TO SENSE EVIL IS GOING OFF EVERY 10 MINUTES? BELIEVE ME, I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE THE BABY EITHER, BUT THE ALARM IS BROKEN. THERE IS NO EVIL IN THIS HOUSE. BUT WE'VE GONE UP AGAINST INVISIBLE DEMONS BEFORE, YOU KNOW, DEMONS THAT MORPH INTO LAMPS, LAMPS THAT MORPH INTO DEMONS, DEMONS IN THE WALLS. BUT DON'T YOU THINK IF THEY WERE HERE THEY'D BE ATTACKING THE BABY BY NOW? OH, LOOK AT HIM. HE'S SMILING! OH, YOU ARE SO BRAVE. HE'S SMILING? EITHER THAT OR HE HAS GAS. PIPER, PUT HIM DOWN. WHAT? HE WAS CRYING WHEN THE DEMON ATTACKED. SO... SO JUST PUT HIM DOWN A MINUTE AND COME OVER HERE. YOU, TOO, PHOEBE. WHY? TRUST ME. OK... WHAT ARE WE DOING?! JUST...WAIT. FOR WHAT? THAT'S WHAT. I DON'T GET IT. HE'S DOING IT. HE'S USING HIS POWERS TO SET OFF THE ALARM. BECAUSE HE FIGURED OUT WHEN IT GOES OFF THAT WE'LL COME RUNNING. HE'S JUST TRYING TO GET ATTENTION. HE'S A GENIUS! OH, YOU'RE A GENIUS! THAT'S MY BOY, USING YOUR POWERS. ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE MOMMY A HEART ATTACK? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO? SO...I GUESS IT'S SAFE TO SAY YOU CAN GO HELP PAIGE. RIGHT. YOU GONNA BE OK? YEAH. OK. GRAB SOME POTIONS, 'CAUSE IF I'M GOING TO THAT MARKET AND LEAVING HIM HERE, WE'RE NOT TAKING NO PRISONERS. JUST... BE CAREFUL. I WILL. YOU'RE NOT INVINCIBLE ANY MORE. I KNOW. IT'S JUST...SO HARD TO LEAVE. IT'S...SO HARD TO MAKE PHOEBE LEAVE. WELL, JUST MAKE SURE.... YOU COME BACK. YOU TAKE CARE OF HIM. I MEAN, ONE HAIR OUT OF PLACE ON THE HEAD, YOU AND ME--ISSUES. I WILL. AT THE FIRST SIGN OF TROUBLE, I WILL ORB HIM OUT. OK. PHOEBE. HERE WE GO. WHERE'S THE MARKET? WHO ARE YOU? I'M THE MOTHER. WHICH ONE OF YOU DIRTBAGS PUT THE BOUNTY ON MY BABY? THEY'RE HERE. IT'S BABY TIME. IT'S OK, BUDDY. MOMMY'LL BE HOME SOON. WHERE ARE THEY? PIPER... I KNOW YOU ARE VERY HAPPY TO SEE US. THE BABY. HE'S FINE. HE'S WITH LEO. THE PARASITES, THEY'LL ABSORB LEO'S POWER. WHAT?! CAN YOU ORB? NO. NO, THEY TOOK MY POWERS AWAY. WE'VE GOT TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GATE. THAT IS MINE! DO YOU FEEL THE POWER? OH, IT'S FANTASTIC. BUT HOW WILL WE GET HIM OUT OF HERE? KEEP DRAINING THE MAGIC. THE FORCE FIELD WILL FALTER, AND THEN HE'LL BE OURS. GO! DON'T LET THEM PUT THEIR HANDS ON YOU. NO! HE GOT AWAY. IT'S OK. LET HIM GO. I SAID NO PRISONERS. ARE YOU OK? YEAH. WE'RE GOING BACK. YOU DID THIS TO US. I WARNED YOU. THE WITCHES DID THIS, NOT ME. THE WITCHES ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO-- THIS CHILD IS POWERFUL BEYOND YOUR UNDERSTANDING. WHAT I HAVE FORESEEN... IS NOT TO BE IGNORED. WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SEE? WHAT IS HE? HE IS OUR END. WE'LL HAVE NOTHING MORE TO DO WITH THIS... BEING. THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY. YOU HAVE POWERS OF YOUR OWN. AND I ENJOY USING THEM. AAH--AAH! AAH! NO! IMPRESSIVE. YOUR SISTER'S POWERS HAVE BEEN RESTORED. WHO ARE YOU? I REPRESENT THOSE IN POWER. REST ASSURED, A LAW WILL BE PASSED FORBIDDING ANY FURTHER ATTEMPTS ON YOUR CHILD. WHY? WHAT DO YOU STAND TO GAIN? NOTHING. YOU HAVE PROVEN... THAT THE COSTS OF A WAR WILL FAR OUTWEIGH THE BENEFITS. CONSIDER THIS... OUR...WHITE FLAG. NOW I SUGGEST YOU REST WELL AND PRESERVE YOUR ENERGIES. FROM WHAT I'VE FORESEEN... YOU'RE GOING TO NEED THEM. WAY TO SEND A MESSAGE, WARRIOR MOM! I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE HER? WELL, PARTIALLY, BUT I THINK THIS HAD MORE TO DO WITH HIM THAN ANYTHING WE DID. WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE FORESAW? I WISH I KNEW. OH, I COULD EAT YOU! YES, I COULD! YES, I COULD! PHOEB, AFTER THE DEMONIC PARASITES ACTUALLY DID KINDA WANNA EAT HIM... NOT SO CUTE. GOTCHA. OOH, I COULD SMUSH YOU! OOH, I COULD SMUSH YOUR LITTLE FACE! OOH LA LA LA LA! MUCH BETTER. IS THAT HIS NEW NAME, SMUSH FACE HALLIWELL? IT'S ABOUT AS GOOD AS EVERYTHING ELSE WE'VE COME UP WITH. NO NEW IDEAS, HUH? ACTUALLY-- NO. WE'VE BEEN SO BUSY WITH THE ALARM AND THE DEMON-FIGHTING AND THE SISTER-SAVING. I'M SORRY. OH, DON'T BE SORRY, PAIGE. YOU WERE BRAVE, AND YOU INSPIRED ME TO FIGHT AND YOU MADE THE WORLD A SAFER PLACE FOR OUR BABY. WHICH IS WHY I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE THE BABY THE MIDDLE NAME OF MATTHEW IN HONOUR OF HIS SUPER-PROTECTIVE AUNT PAIGE. I THINK THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. WHAT DO YOU THINK? YEAH. THANKS. AND I ALSO HAVE AN IDEA FOR HIS FIRST NAME. WYATT, IN HONOUR OF HIS VERY PROTECTIVE DADDY. REALLY? IT DOESN'T START WITH A "P." EH, SO WE BREAK THE TRADITION. HAPPY BABY! HAPPY BABY! TCH. WHY DON'T WE ASK HIM? THAT'S PROBABLY YOUR JOB. (CHUCKLES) WYATT MATTHEW HALLIWELL, IS THAT YOUR NAME? WHAT DO YOU THINK? IT'S A GOOD ONE. IT'S A GOOD ONE. (KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK) I THOUGHT YOU'D STILL BE HERE. YEAH. WELL, THERE'S A LOT TO DO. UM... I JUST CAME BY TO... SAY THAT... I'M REALLY SORRY. HUH. I DIDN'T FIGURE YOU FOR THE TYPE TO APOLOGISE EASILY. YEAH. I'M NOT. I ONLY APOLOGISE WHEN I'M WRONG. OK, I WASN'T ENTIRELY WRONG. THERE WAS AN EMERGENCY AT HOME, AND I DID NEED TO LEAVE, AND IN THE FUTURE IF YOU'RE GONNA HOLD MY CALLS, I HOPE YOU TELL ME. THIS IS AN APOLOGY? YES. BECAUSE ABOUT THE OTHER STUFF... YOU WERE RIGHT. I GOT OVERWHELMED BY THE BABY AND I LOST MY VOICE, MY PERSPECTIVE. THAT'S REALLY-- IT'S JUST THAT SINCE WE WERE KIDS, WE ALWAYS SHARED EVERYTHING EQUALLY, SO WHEN THE BABY CAME, I JUST THOUGHT IT SHOULD BE THE SAME WAY. WHICH IS RIDICULOUS, 'CAUSE I'M NOT HIS MOM, I'M HIS AUNT, AND IT ACTUALLY WORKS OUT GREAT FOR ME, 'CAUSE MOMS HAVE TO PARENT, AND I JUST GET TO SPOIL. WELL, THAT'S UNDERSTANDABLE-- AND I KNOW YOU'RE REALLY BUSY AND YOU DON'T NEED TO BE LISTENING TO SOME ADVICE COLUMNIST'S PSYCHOBABBLE, BUT...UM... IF I STILL HAVE A JOB... I PROMISE YOU'LL SEE ALL THE CHANGES YOU'RE LOOKING FOR IN MY COLUMN FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. GREAT. CAN I TALK NOW? OH. YEAH. I KNEW LESS ABOUT MY LAST GIRLFRIEND'S FAMILY THAN I'VE LEARNED ABOUT YOURS IN THE LAST 5 MINUTES. OH, REALLY? STILL TALKING. SORRY. I AM BUSY. BUT MAKING THIS PAPER WORK IS IMPORTANT TO ME, AND IF THAT MEANS LISTENING TO AN ADVICE COLUMNIST'S LATE-NIGHT PSYCHOBABBLE, THEN THAT'S WHAT I'M WILLING TO DO. THAT'S-- STILL TALKING. RIGHT. THIS PAPER CAN'T AFFORD TO LOSE YOU, PHOEBE. YOU'RE TOO VALUABLE, TOO TALENTED. AND IF YOU CAN ADMIT WHEN YOU WERE WRONG, THEN SO CAN I. SO...? SO... IN THE FUTURE... IF I HAVE TO HOLD YOUR CALLS, I'LL LET YOU KNOW. THANK YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME. DONE TALKING. (GIGGLES) OK. HA HA HA! I'LL JUST... CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --WWW.NCICAP.ORG-- Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air.