- You know, obviously everybody complains about property prices here in Auckland. I didn't really understand why. When I first moved up here, I managed to snag a pretty good spot. Central City, just off K Road, right on the corner. Good view. Direct access to transport. I was living in my car, but, um... (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) Kia ora. I'm Joe Daymond. You may or may not have heard of me. My friends call me Joey D, but really hot girls call me 'New phone, who dis?' But that's not important right now. What is important is that I've teamed up with Kara Rickard. And together, we're like the ultimate search engine. - We're going to leave no stone unturned, as we try and find the real story... behind our country's place names. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2022 - City of Sails ` well, expensive real estate sales, that is. Famous for clogged motorways, constant roadworks or being the butt of rural jokes. Where else? Auckland. But how did our biggest city get its name? And what about its beautiful original name, Tamaki Makaurau? I'm determined to find some answers to these questions, because it's time to finally get the name right for Auckland. (SMOOTH HIP-HOP MUSIC) - I have no idea where Auckland got its name from. No idea. - Is it named after someone? Like, Captain Auckland? I don't know! - Kinda rhymes with awkward, eh? Auckland awkward. - Orc. Orc. Last time I heard 'orc' was when I watched Lord of the Rings, and those weren't very pretty. - My investigation has uncovered that the city was named by its very first governor, a man called William Hobson. But why 'Auckland'? Hopefully history teacher Lucy can help. Who's Auckland actually named after? - It's actually named after a guy called George Eden, who was the first Earl of Auckland. He was a British politician in the House of Lords. In his position in politics, he got to hand out commanderships in the Navy. And he did essentially a solid for his mate William Hobson, and gave him command of a boat, which restarted William Hobson's career. And it sounds like Hobson did a solid back and gave him the name of his capital city that he founded in 1840. - True. - Yeah. - Bloody old boys network, eh? Just all looking after each other, naming a bunch of places after each other. - It's never what you know, it's who you know. - George Eden actually never set foot here in New Zealand. - (RECORD SCRATCH) - Nah, yeah, see, that pisses me off. That pisses me off, that it was named after someone who didn't even come here. But now that I know that ` Auckland, gone. It's gone. Not using it any more. 'Where do you live, Tammy?' Tamaki Makaurau. 'What team do you support?' The Tamaki Makaurau Blues. - I didn't even know that Auckland was a person. A couple of months ago there was a big deal made about, you know, the city's named after him. It was like, pfft. - He was the Governor-General of India. He spent a couple of years travelling around the country with a huge procession of about 12,000 people, hundreds of elephants and camels. - 12,000 people? - Yeah, it sounds like he had a bit of a disastrous time with a war in Afghanistan, which ended his governorship. He was indecisive, flaky, relied on his advisers quite a bit. - So absolutely hopeless. - William Hobson also named Mount Eden after him. - Damn. - Which has led to the naming of Eden Park as well. - Damn, so two useless dudes came together and got to name this place. - Yeah. - OK. Noted. Getting a place named after you is easier than I thought. And it's given me an idea. You know, I actually like the sound of this. 12,000 people following you around, getting a whole city named after you ` one that you haven't even been to. You're not even particularly good at your job. Those are all things that I'm capable of doing ` not being good at my job, and not going to a place. First things first ` I need a procession. Yeah, is this Wellington Zoo? I'm just calling up about your elephants. How much` If I was to buy one off of you...? How about 10 elephants? How much would...? OK, you've only got three. And one's a baby. Nah, I've... I've got a mate that can probably fit that one. Hey, I just googled camels in Auckland, and, um, it said that you guys are selling some. Yeah, and how many humps? (CHUCKLES) Nah, mate. Nah. How many humps on the camel? (CHUCKLES) I just need the biggest marching band you've got. How many trumpets you got? OK. Just so I'm clear, are we talking the instrument or the ice cream? OK, so you've got 50 trumpets. OK, sweet. 200 break dancers. Yep. And how many lap dancers? (LAUGHS) Nah, nah. 50. Cool. So, Auckland is named after George Eden, the Earl of Auckland, also referred to as Lord Auckland. But what about the name that already existed for this area, Tamaki Makaurau? Kara's hoping she can find some answers from Ngarimu Blair, deputy chair of Ngati Whatua Ki Tamaki. - I heard the story about it just being about some dude called Tamaki who had heaps of wahine. - (LAUGHS) When you look into the 1700s, the big chief who reigned supreme across the central isthmus here and had his huge pa site at Maungakiekie, he took the name Tamaki as well, and his name is Kiwi Tamaki. Most of the people here in the haukainga descend from him. Tamaki is a big name here. Completely different to that other Tamaki, with the Brian at the beginning, though. Yeah. - Tamaki Makaurau, you know, 'a city of 100 lovers'. Think that's a bit more of an interesting name than Auckland. - Tamaki Makaurau, you already know, though. - Tamaki Makaurau, bro. It's the spot. Best city in the country. - So, the original parcel of land was gifted to settlers. - We ask ourselves that every now and then ` why did we do that? But in our culture, We thought we had a good deal, that we were gonna have an ally and a friend of the greatest power in the world, you know ` the Governor who was representing the Queen of England. To lose land by the pen is very confusing for our people. - What else was lost in that process? - Our springs have all been concreted over. We lost our repo, our wetlands. And with all of that goes our birds. This place was beautiful. It's still beautiful, despite the concrete jungle and the traffic. - For Pakeha, it's about identity. Didn't most of them leave England? Let's go an adventure, let's go and find our own paradise. But then, of course, you get down here, and what do you miss? You miss your identity. So you drag all those things with you in order to kind of find some sort of identity. And the funny thing is, bro, is that we're surrounded by it. - Anyone hang out on K Road heaps? - Whoo! - Whoo! It's so diverse. It's the most diverse place in New Zealand, I'd say. It's the only place where you can get a $8 coffee... and watch two crackheads fight each other... (LAUGHTER) at 10 in the morning. (CHUCKLES) (FUNKY MUSIC) So, we're on the corner of Symonds Street and Karangahape Road. And interestingly enough, we're right next to the cemetery where the man who named most of Auckland, William Hobson, is buried. Hobson may be responsible for bestowing the name of Auckland, but ironically he's buried on the corner of Karangahape Road, a name I'm sure he didn't choose. - Excuse me? - I've actually gotta get to work. - That's all good. What I want to know is, where does the name Karangahape come from? No worries, cheers. From what I know of Karangahape Road is if you're walking along in the morning, you don't want anyone talking to you. Cos you're either coming from somewhere that you don't want anyone knowing that you've been, or you're going somewhere that you don't want anyone to know about you going to. Excuse me? Would you guys mind answering a couple of questions for a`? - No, thank you. - Nah, it's all good. - I'm in a rush, sorry. - No worries. All I know is that Hape was one of the first explorers to come to Aotearoa. Maybe Jamey from the Karangahape Business Association knows more. - The founding story is that Hape was left behind by the canoe, cos he had a clubfoot. And so he summoned a giant stingray that brought him to New Zealand, and he actually beat the canoe here. By the time the canoe came in from the east into the Waitemata Harbour, he'd already come in from the west, in the Manukau Harbour. And he came up and was on the ridge here at Karangahape. And he called out a welcome to the canoe as they came in, the karanga of Hape, which is the song of welcome. - The legend says that Hape had a broken foot. Which ` obviously he's Maori, so that means he had gout. Um... (CHUCKLES) You think about that, and you're like, 'the call of Hape'. He was definitely turning around and talking shit to them, eh, that he beat them there. (CHUCKLES) Bastards. Even though I got gout, still got here. Do you know what the meaning of the name Karangahape is? - I actually don't. - This is your first time along Karangahape Road? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So you wouldn't know the history of it? - Of the road? - Uh, no, no. We don't. - Absolutely not. - A guy riding an octopus or some shit like that? Or is there something else? - Nah, you pretty much got it bang on. - I think it was a stingray. - Oh. It was a stingray. I do know somebody who knows a bit about this place. Hey bro, you wanna buy a Tesla? Good to see you, brother. - Hape is quite a famed ancestor of a number of tribes, particularly the Tainui people. He actually has a couple of other names too ` Riukiuta and Rakataura and Hape. Hapehape ` that means to have kind of like a clubfoot or a bit of a limp. Hape was different. He was out there. I'm sure he would have been flamboyant to do what he did. Some say he was a bit of a trickster, and he was disabled. And so, you know, K Road now has been a haven and a refuge for many of our own people, you know, who through the colonial process have taken on these weird Christian values of... that you're breaching some Pakeha law and therefore you're shunned. And I hope that people who come here and see this place as a bit of a refuge, you know, can connect back to the Hape story at some point. But I'd prefer K Road than 'Ka-ranga-happy' Road. - Once you learn the language, you just have so much more respect for it, so you won't cut the words up and mangle them. Karangahape ` it's a beautiful name, isn't it? - Interesting people are at Karangahape Road, and I think it's always gonna be like that. (UPBEAT DANCEHALL MUSIC) - If you are someone who knows Karangahape Road, and you've had coffee there, you eat there, you shop there, you're someone who's against the status quo. - Like, it almost distils Auckland. It's almost like you could find every type of Aucklander on K Road somewhere. - You see people up there that you don't see anywhere else in the country and, um... Yeah, I quite like it. - # Can I have your attention please? # Are you ready to have the time of your life? - 'Sup, ladies? - Welcome! - Good to see you. - You too. - Thank you so much for having me. - Pleasure! - # It does not matter what you look like. - Tell me about your personal history with Karangahape Road. - Street corners. (LAUGHS) Well, it might not be obvious, but I'm a drag queen. I started at a club called Family 12 years ago. And I've been here ever since. - I've been in the Auckland drag scene since 2015, and I've performing basically all over the place since then. - # In the carnival of love. # - What do you know of the history of the Karangahape name? - Hape had a disability, and he wasn't allowed to go in the canoes across, so decided, 'I'm not gonna let this disability stop me,' so went across on a stingray, I believe, and then came up on to the ridge and the karanga ` called the people like, 'I'm over here!' when they arrived, so beat them, and it's kind of` I think that's such a beautiful start to the area, because it's almost somebody who had a difference and somebody who was considered as a negative thing actually proved to the world differences can kind of make us who we are and can be celebrated. - That is crazy how it fits perfectly. - We ride stingrays all the time. (LAUGHS) - Because like, you know, this is a bit of a queer strip, people find other people that are like them. So it's creating a community. Yeah. - I think also the people here have claimed the street ` if you want to walk down the road dressed like this at 11am in the morning, this is my street; I can do this. - Because this show's all about names, if I was to try out drag, what do you think my drag name would be? - I think because we are on Karangahape Road, your name should start with a K. What do you think? - Like... Karma? - I like that. - Karma... - She needs a last name. - Karma Lotta? Like, come-a-lot-a. - Yes, Karma Lotta! - Think about it. - Nah, it fits. - (LAUGHS) - Makes a lot of sense for me, so... - Yeah, nah, I'm happy with that one. - If the glove fits. - # Your love # is all we need. # - Karangahape Road. It's a place that has a lot of meaning to a lot of different people. But what I will say ` they've got the name right. - You know, this old boys club is no different to any other nightclub. Truthfully. You know, all you have to do is wear the right shoes, make sure you're wearing dress pants - and make sure you're willing to pay the $20,000 cover charge. - (LAUGHTER) The story of George Eden, Lord Auckland, has got me thinking. He toured around aimlessly with a procession for a couple of years and had this city named after him. I wonder if that would be possible today. I've already organised my procession, so now all I need is a lordship, and I should be sweet to name some shit after me. OK, I'm on my way to go pick up my lord certificate. They hand me a plot of land, I get an outfit, and I get a brand spanking new name ` Lord Joe Daymond. Yeah, I'll be able to go see if I can get something named after me. I haven't really had many things named after me. Just my nephew, but that's stink. I want, like, a bridge or something, you know? Auckland Harbour Bridge ` that's a stink-as name. Could probably change that to my name. That's pretty much the rule ` if you discover it, doesn't matter if people have it, it's yours. (EPIC MUSIC BUILDS) Just like that, whanau, it's Lord Joey D now. - Lord Joe Daymond? Oh my God. Respect. I always knew. I always knew he was different. I knew he was something. It's just absolutely bloody stupid, isn't it? (LAUGHS) - So, is there mahi being done to try and resolve all of these place names that are not right? - Yeah, so as part of our Treaty settlement in 2012, we corrected a few place names, such as, on our volcanic cones, our maunga, Maungakiekie ` that name is placed back there now, officially. - Yeah. - Maungawhau, Mount Eden. - Maori names will tell you about this deep mythology, and you'll dive down and you'll learn stuff. - I think we should just change them all back to the indigenous names. Come on. - So, yeah, the actual Kohimaramara tuturu is 2.5km that way, back there. And so the name Kohimarama ` Co-he-Mareama has had a 'ra' dropped... - Is that common? - Even behind us is Rangitoto. It's Te Rangitotongia a Tamatekapua. - Could you imagine everybody trying to say that? 'Hey, we're going Te Rangito...' I can't even say it! (LAUGHS) - Those names are names given to places by our chiefs and our people who first discovered those areas. So holding on to those gives them mana. - Some of these names have come to be here in Aotearoa. Perhaps they are people who never set foot here, who never had an impact or had an investment in this land, and in this whenua, and in the people that we are. - Today is a good day to change history. But I am a little surprised that a procession would dare to keep a lord waiting. Oh! Look! (CHUCKLES) That's exactly what I ordered. Hey, what's up, man? Lord Joe. Nice to meet you. Thank you very much for coming. Thanks for coming. (SIGHS) Have guys ever played for royalty before? Didn't think so. Who's the most famous person you've played for? - I think we've played for Richie McCaw. - (SCOFFS) - I don't even like basketball. (UPBEAT SAMBA MUSIC) Oh, me too. You're late. And I'm sure that stuff took ages, but I mean, so did my stuff. Despite the fact George Eden had 12,000 people, and we've got... eight, nine, you know, numbers-wise, it doesn't match up, but heart-wise? Sounds equal to me, brother. We're here to see what we can get named after me, Joey D. That whole thing just rhymed. Confidence is high that I'm gonna get something named after me today. I'm up the front. Marching band? I'm thinking you right after. And Charlie's Angels, we're gonna need you right out the back, ready to fight. Bang that shit. See, when I made this plan, I needed three things. Kick-ass drum band ` check. Amazing samba dancers ` check. Me looking skux as hell ` double check. (MARCHING BAND DRUMS) You lot just stay here. I figure if I'm going to change a name, I might as well go big or go home. I'm starting with the man himself ` Eden. Yo! (KNOCKS) Hmm. Hello? Not as easy as I thought. I don't even think Richie McCaw could get in here. (PANTS) Except by helicopter. Phew! I'm not even tired. Um... I've got another plan. And actually, it's even better. Let's go. Just follow me. (MARCHING BAND PLAYS) 'Better' is a strong word. But what the hell? I'm gonna use it anyway. Obviously the whole thing with Eden Park didn't really work. But you know what? I found us a better option ` Eden Rugby Club Park. As the saying goes, when you're a lord, if one land's closed, just go and find another one. Even if people have already got it. As you can see, this is a big moment in history, and the biggest moment of your lives. Congratulations. And you're welcome. Today, this park becomes Lord Daymond Stadium. As you can see, this sign is laminated, which means it's real. Hey, you're welcome for being invited to the biggest day of your lives. You're gonna be able to tell your kids about this. Your grandkids. Your great grandkids. Um, your... (CRICKETS CHIRP) - Places should be named for... something significant that happened there, I think. Just because you've got a title, doesn't mean you deserve a place named after you. - You're not really a lord, are ya? Not really. - Yeah, you're not fooling anyone, mate. We all know where you're from. You're a Fijian boy. (CHUCKLES) You tried your best, Joe. You tried your best. - Damn! Do you wanna be in Auckland or Tamaki of a Thousand Lovers? (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) I know which one makes me horny. Ha! Trick question. Both. People of Lower Hutt. What we're doing today is we're gonna set up a colony right here. - So if you could name this place, what would you call it? - Te Awa Kairangi. - Who even is Hutt? - It's a man from a long time ago, and this town was named after him. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2022 Ko te reo te take.