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Team Creamerie breaks into Lane's compound to save more male survivors, but their mission to bring her to justice exposes more cracks in their relationships, and leads them to a point of no return.

Eight years after a plague killed all men, three women who run a dairy farm accidentally run over the last surviving male human on the planet in this darkly funny, dystopian series.

Primary Title
  • Creamerie
Date Broadcast
  • Friday 21 July 2023
Start Time
  • 22 : 30
Finish Time
  • 23 : 05
Duration
  • 35:00
Series
  • 2
Episode
  • 3
Channel
  • TVNZ 2
Broadcaster
  • Television New Zealand
Programme Description
  • Eight years after a plague killed all men, three women who run a dairy farm accidentally run over the last surviving male human on the planet in this darkly funny, dystopian series.
Episode Description
  • Team Creamerie breaks into Lane's compound to save more male survivors, but their mission to bring her to justice exposes more cracks in their relationships, and leads them to a point of no return.
Classification
  • 16
Owning Collection
  • Chapman Archive
Broadcast Platform
  • Television
Languages
  • English
Captioning Languages
  • English
Captions
Live Broadcast
  • No
Rights Statement
  • Made for the University of Auckland's educational use as permitted by the Screenrights Licensing Agreement.
Subjects
  • Apocalyptic television programs
  • Sex role on television
  • Television programs--New Zealand
Genres
  • Comedy-drama
  • Science fiction
Contributors
  • Roseanne Liang (Director)
  • Roseanne Liang (Writer)
  • Bronwynn Bakker (Producer)
  • Ally Xue (Actor)
  • JJ Fong (Actor)
  • Perlina Lau (Actor)
  • Jay Ryan (Actor)
  • Flat 3 Productions (Production Unit)
  • Kevin & Co (Production Unit)
  • Tony Ayres Productions (Production Unit)
  • NZ On Air (Funder)
(LOW, MOODY MUSIC) - Hands up! No sudden moves. (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) (STATIC HISSES) - Mayday, mayday. Code one. I'm in an abandoned room underneath a` No! - PIP: Give it to me. - Pip. - (GRUNTS) - (GASPS) - Oh my God, Pip. - You came back for me. - Yeah, of course I did, you silly pickle. - ALEX: Where are they? Where did you take them? I need to see their teeth. - I'm sorry, who is it that you're speaking` - The milked men! - The milkmen? - Yes, the milked men! - Michelle doesn't know anything. That's why I brought them here. Lane wouldn't have told her. - Excuse you. Lane tells me everything. She doesn't tell you anything. - Oi. Where's the rest of it ` the... the good boys? - They're all gone. - They were right here with a shit ton of equipment. How did she know we were coming? - You. You fucked us. - Hey. - You fucked us! - Get away from him, you psycho. - He fucked us. You told her! - How exactly did he tell her, Bobby? We were with him the whole time. - I swear I don't know anything. - Bullshit. You helped run this place. - I was just following orders! - You're a liar. You're a liar. Your brother's a liar! - Fuck off, you psycho. - Those men could be anywhere now. - Bobby, you need to back the fuck off. (CLANG!) - Anywhere! - OK, if I'm not needed any more, I'm just gonna duck out and finish some traffic light jellies that I was making. - Wait, what did you say? - Hmm? - Jelly? - Well, you see, Lane is pregnant and has cravings, so I've been making traffic light jellies, and I just need to finish the top layer. - Wait, sorry, classic jelly ` the bouncy kind made with gelatine? - Yes, is there another kind? - How many? - I don't know, maybe 20, personal size. - Where are the jellies now? - How is this even relevant? - Shh! Where are the jellies now? - OK, well, I wasn't expecting a jelly inquisition, but if you must know, they are in the scullery of Lane's private residence. - I know where the milked men are. Gelatine is made with animal by-product. Lane is a strict vegan, so the jellies aren't for her. Do you know who loves jelly? The good boys. Everyone knows that jelly is best served chilled and unshaken near the point of consumption, ergo, at that quantity, I deduce Lane's most precious living assets are at her private residence next to the Wellness Centre. Quod erat demonstrandum. - Well, fuck yeah, Pip. Let's go. - How` How exactly are we planning on breaking into Lane's private residence? - Torture Michelle for the info. She's been there. - What? No, I haven't. - You just said you were there making her jellies. - I know a way into Lane's residence. - (SCOFFS) Oh, yeah, here we go. What is it ` another secret tunnel? - Yeah... actually. - Come on, mate. You're not even trying. - How do you know all this? - They would sometimes invite me to her residence. - OK, look, we can't stay here much longer. It's the only lead we've got. So we'll have to take the south pass back into Hiro Valley until tonight. Is there anywhere we can go ` somewhere safe we can stock, replenish, rest? - Not our farm. It's too risky. - Michelle's place is free. - HUSHED: What? - Well, no one's going to expect us to be there. - Absolutely not, no. I don't give consent or permission or my address. - Well, lucky I know where you live from all the laundry runs you made me do. - Well, you would need my keys, then, wouldn't you? - Oh, do you mean... these keys? - (GASPS) You... mamafunker. You mamafunker knock-sucker! Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2023 It's an old key. It's an old key. (GASPS) Oh my Goddess! I've been robbed! (GASPS) - Oh, Michelle. - What? What, that` No. I've been robbed. People these days, coming in and leaving their rubbish lying around. I've never seen these before. I wouldn't wear a paisley print. Take a seat. Anywhere's fine. Tea, anyone? - JACKSON: The secret tunnel leads to the central foyer. Upstairs is the bedrooms. Downstairs is dining, gallery. Garage on the far side by the tennis court. - You expect us to believe that she has no staff, no security. - This is Lane's sanctuary. Not many people see inside. She has one cook and one housekeeper during the day and security on call at the Wellness Centre nearby. - What about the goons she has at her facility? They're not gonna be there? - With everything the mercenaries have seen, Lane and the doc would never want them anywhere near Wellness. - And where will Lane be? - Upstairs. And once she sleeps, it's usually deep. And she has sleep sounds set to jungle rainfall. - Jungle rainfall? - You. - Yes. - You've been here. Is this accurate? - Jungle rainfall ` yes, it's definitely the best soundscape for a delta wave sleep. - I mean is the floor plan accurate? - Oh, yes. Mm-hm. - Good. We strike at midnight. (REB FOUNTAIN'S 'HEAD OVER HEELS') (MUSIC BUILDS) - # I wanted to be with you alone # and talk about the weather. # But traditions I can trace # against the child in your face # won't escape my attention. # Something happens, # and I'm head over heels. # I never find out # till I'm head over heels. # Something happens, # and I'm head over heels. # Ah, don't take my heart, # don't break my heart, # don't, don't, don't throw it away. # - Where'd you get this? - I went on a psychedelic journey, and a quantum memory of Ma showed me where she left her notebook. - True. I'd forgotten how shitty your handwriting is. - Oh God. - How is she? - Is that supposed to be a joke? What is this? Look at this. I swear it's just random shapes and lines. You try. - It's a 'B'... 'I'... Is that an 'N'? I mean, why don't you just bring it to Ma? Ask her. What? - You don't know. - Know what? - Ma is permed. - Like... her hair? - No, like a literal screwdriver to her brain. - What? - Lane lobotomised our mother with the state's blessing four years ago. Ma was diagnosed with acute non-rehabilitative reality distortion disorder. Yeah. A real mouthfuck of a reason. - No, that's... not possible. Lane promised she'd take care of Ma for me. - She did. See this? She almost took care of me and Jamie too. - Oh. This` This` This can't be true, no. No, there's` She told me. She promised me. This doesn't make sense. - Let's go on a field trip. - And now we move to the circle of joy. (MEDITATIVE MUSIC PLAYS ON VIDEO) (CLATTERING) (GRUNTING) - Hey, Ma. You won't believe who's here. (JACKSON GRUNTS) Hey, Ma. We can't stay long. Here. Ma, look. Look what you found me. Aren't we two little shits? Look at us. Don't you wanna take a bite out of our cheeks? Hey. Down to business. You see this? You wrote this. What does it say? No. No. Ma. Don't. Ma. Fuck. (TV CLICKS, MEDITATIVE MUSIC STOPS, DISC EJECTS) (SNAP!) WHISPERS: Piece of shit. (CLATTERING) - What is she doing? - I don't know. It's just what she does now. Ma. Please look at this. - (HUMS SOFTLY) - They make them dance like fucking monkeys. It's not time for dancing, Ma. Look at this. Here. - Hey, Ma. It's me. It's Jackson. I'm Jackson. This is Alex. Remember us? - (HUMS SOFTLY) - WHISPERS: Sorry. Sorry. (SNIFFLES) (DARK MUSIC BUILDS) (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) (HUMS) - (SIGHS) - (CONTINUES HUMMING) Sorry. That wasn't... - (HUMS) - SOFTLY: # Can, can, can you do the can-can? Holy fuck. - What? How's it start? The can-can song ` how's it start? (HUMS) (CONTINUES HUMMING) Remember, Alex? Ma used it to teach us. She wasn't singing the can-can; she was trying to sing us the periodic table song. - Yeah, of course. The periodic table. - # Hydrogen and helium, then lithium, beryllium. # - # ...lithium beryllium. # - Notebook. I think that's the key to the code. La ` lanthanum. ZnBr ` zinc bromine. J's the only one in here that's not on the periodic table. - Hey. Can we wrap this up a little later? We're here. (GUN COCKS, THUD!) WHISPERS: There's no cameras. Come on. - Pip, Michelle, stop that! - (GASPS) Ooh! (HIGH-PITCHED RINGING) - The fuck is that? - It's fine. - It's nothing. - It's a humidity sensor. - We should go back. It's too risky. - No. We've come this far. We're not gonna lose them again. Now, come on. - WHISPERS: Yeah, let's go. Let's go. Let's go. - Jamie? - Jackson! (DOOR HANDLE RATTLES) - (GRUNTS) It's locked. - ALEX: No, we just came through it. - Is this you? - Jamie, no. - Is this a trap, Jackson? - No, I-I swear it isn't. (DOOR HANDLE RATTLES) - (GRUNTS) There. There. Another exit. - Wait. (INTRIGUING MUSIC) - Shh. - Shh. - Shh! WHISPERS: Where are the rest of them? - WHISPERS: I don't know. - Fuck this shit. - WHISPERS: She has a Picasso. - So you haven't been here before. - Well, I haven't been to Lane's sealed section, no. - Sealed section? Like Cleo magazine? - (GASPS) How dare you? You know what, Pip ` I don't actually appreciate these smutty insinuations. Lane is incapable of anything untoward. (CLICK! GEORGE MICHAEL'S 'FATHER FIGURE' PLAYS) - # That's all I wanted, # something special, something sacred # in your eyes. # For just one moment # to be bold and naked # at your side. # Sometimes I think that you'll never # understand me. # Maybe this time is forever. # Say it can be... - Don't look at it. - # Ooh, ooh, baby. - # I will be your father. - # I'll be your daddy. Whoa! # I will be the one who loves you # till the end of time. # - (RETCHES, BREATHES HEAVILY) - Are you OK? We can't be here. - Yeah, no shit. (PANTS) (LOW, UNSETTLING MUSIC) - Jamie? Jamie. No. - (GRUNTS) - Jamie, please. Please... don't go in there. - Hey, hey, hey. Nice and slow now. Whoa. (MUFFLED SHOUTING, BANGING) - MUFFLED: Help! Help! - MUFFLED: Please let me out of here. (MUFFLED SHOUTING CONTINUES) - You. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - Whoa. - Easy. Why are you wearing those`? - Lane said if anyone came to tell them to go away. We command you to leave us to live our well lives. - What well lives? - The well lives we were living until you came along. We were safe. We were useful. We had nice things to eat. - Well, should we open up the crate and ask those guys how they feel about being useful? - They don't understand. Outside, there` there` there's sickness. - Outside is unsafe. - Unsafe? What do you call Lane strapping you with explosives, then? - And unwell life is no life. - BOTH: No wellness, no life. No wellness, no life. No wellness, no life. - OK, mate. - You're not my mate. Get back! - All right. - Get back! I'll do it! - All right! - Back off or I'll... - All right! - We have traffic light jelly! - What` What` What did you just say? (SERENE JUNGLE AMBIENCE PLAYS) - Jamie. She's not here. Jamie. Wait. - The least you could do is tell me how you came to do this... to us. - You wanna talk about how? None of this would have happened if you hadn't turned me into quarantine. - I was grieving Oscar. - I lost Oscar too. Remember? You don't get to own that. Because of you, I had to grieve him while everyone died around me, piling up in stinking heaps of... meat. Maggots. When I thought it couldn't get worse, they put me into solitary. You know what that does to your head ` alone, with myself, memories of you, of him. I know what hell is, Jamie. It's not a furnace. It's not even pain. It's just a black hole that just keeps eating you over and over again until you want to die. And she pulled me out of there. It was a way out. Forgive me. It was my way out. - You had eight years ` eight ` where you could have chosen to be the better person. You chose Lane... so you wouldn't have to face me. - No! I chose to be with Lane so I wouldn't have to face myself. - Well, it is nice to finally hear the truth, darling. Put it down. (GUN COCKS) Put it down. - Lane. I know the location of the Sisterhood. We can` We can secure more assets. - Good boy. But we're past that point now. Don't you think? You brought your wife... to our bedroom. - Cut the jealousy shit. - Let me guess ` this is the part where you tell me I have the choice to be a better person. - You do. - How's that? - You just... WHISPERS: You just put down the gun. - WHISPERS: I just put down the gun. - Yeah. Then you're better. - I just... put down the gun. - Yeah. Feel that? That's all it takes. - Huh. - It's time for you to buck up, OK? I know it's shit. I know! But there are fuck all survivors left as it is. - I don't wanna survive; I wanna live well. - Well? Don't you see, mate ` she's done your head in. - I told you ` you're not my mate. - And neither is she. You know what you are? You're slaves. You're her slaves. No! Worse. You're her cows ` her happy fucking cows, having your life milk sucked right outta ya. - (SOBS) - Jesus wept. Set yourselves free. Now, come the fuck on, and let's go! - Tell us we can have flushing toilets. - Yes, flushing toilets. - Tell us that there's no sickness. - It's been. It's gone. Ancient history. - Tell me... Tell me it's safe. - Really. It's really safe out there. It's safe. - No wellness... - It's safe! - ...no life. - No! (SCREAMING) (CLICK!) (BOOM!) - Are you mine? - You're my future. - Do you want me? - I want you. - Show me. Show me! (MOANS) WHISPERS: No wellness, no life. (GUNSHOT) - No! (GUNSHOT) No! (GRUNTS, SOBS) SOBS: No. - GUARD: They're in here! - GUARD: Grab her! Grab her! - No! - (WAILS) (GUARDS SHOUT INDISTINCTLY) - Constance, she killed him! She killed my brother! No! - (WAILS) - No! - My baby! (WAILS) - No! No! Help me! She killed him! She killed my brother! No, Constance, no! - # Grace calls # take flight # in the path of the sun. # All the fiery ghosts # aflame. # The restless come undone # into the wide open. # Open. - # Lift a little light up. # Lift a little light up. - (VOCALISES) # Hush your soul to sleep now. # Grace becomes us in light. # Leave the shadows behind. # All the stars # will rise up. # Call 'hello'. # Call 'hello'. # We meet as one # to chase # the sun. # - WHISPERS: Peace. - SHOUTS: No! Captions by Julie Taylor. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air.
Subjects
  • Apocalyptic television programs
  • Sex role on television
  • Television programs--New Zealand