(LIGHT JAZZ THEME MUSIC) (MUSIC BECOMES ELEGANT JAZZ) Captions by Faith Hamblyn. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2023. (BELL TOLLS) - The ornaments and decorations around the funeral home have been the same for about three years, and so the time has come for us to refresh, to give a bit of life into a place full of death. I always take the price tags off, so my wife can't see. - Oh, I don't wanna sound like I'm nagging, but you just wanna go, 'Where it all this come from?' - Oh, goodness. - He's been distracted. He's not gonna be hoha to me. - A lot of the staff have pulled me up and said, 'Why is everything so cluttered? 'Why do we have so many bits and pieces, 'ornaments and floral arrangements?' Maybe that one won't go there. Oh, look at this. I feel like it's a bit bare and cold without having it filled up. But then, when it comes time for cleaning, and all the staff moan, they've gotta pick it up and wipe around everything. And I guess it's maybe upbringing from at Nan's house, with just heaps of things everywhere. I've chosen earthly tones for the decor of the funeral home, just keeping everything natural, because... Just a bit of height. - He's taking his time to put things together. And it does ` it looks lovely. - A little bit of that should dangle in the water. Beautiful. (BELL RINGS) - Oh, OK. - I just did some redecorating. I was just ringing the bell. - Oh. These are nice. - Yeah. - Wow! Look at this. - Yeah. - That's what you've been up to, eh? - Yeah, just, you know, while we've got a lull, we've got a quiet moment, I thought I might as well. I've changed the floral arrangements. - You enjoy your lull moments, don't you? - Yeah, I do actually. And we come around over here before. Before it was very busy, you know? Like, where we gold, were we bronze, were we grey, were we silver; now we know what we are ` we're black and white. - Oh. - And we're also clean, because we have hand sanitiser. Well, I think this deserves some lunch. - Yep. You obviously have worked really, really hard on your detail, and your... - Mm-hm. I hope the families like it. I know you do. (SIGHS) That's enough for my brain for one day. (TINKLY MUSIC) - Today in our care we have the late Te Ao Manakura Taumaunu, who passed away due to heart failure. Te Ao Manakura Taumaunu is also known as Uncle Weti. Mr T, but to us, he is Uncle Jack. - These are dad's kakahu, uncle's kakahu, mum, that he had on. - OK. - And his blankets, we've gotta get them. - As Maori, it's tradition... that we stay with the tupapaku. - Haere mai. Come in. Here he is. - In this situation, Darren's wanting to be part of... the final wash-down for his papa, so we're gonna make that happen. - And so obviously, you fellas do that, and they left the top for us to wash, cos I wanted you to do that. You know? Having whanau members present in the mortuary, with their loved ones, is not a common practice. in this instance, with Kaiora's late uncle, and her first cousin, Darren, it was a time for us to give that opportunity, or that honour, really, to his son, and take part in, you know, the cleansing of uncle's face, his hair. It's warm water, yeah, and a new sponge. And you're just gonna just gently dab his hair. - Yeah. I'm grateful that my husband is there with both of us. You know, this is someone very close to me. At the same time, I'm just very, very grateful that I can be here for my cousin, and my uncle, to make this happen for... for them both. Places, tokena on. Brand new, even. - (CHUCKLES) Nice and fresh. - Erehana's relationship with Uncle Jack was very unique. He was Poppy to all his mokos. For her, she always referred to him as 'My Poppy.' My poppy. - Giant feet. (CHUCKLES) - And you can see her in there with Uncle Darren, having their own little banter. - He's gonna wake up with a flappy thing. (CHUCKLES) - Yeah! (LAUGHS) The Taumaunus are funny. They're dressing Poppy, and I was expecting to have a bit of tangi here, but between them both, Darren and Erehana, they're bouncing off one another, and they look like they're having fun. - Come back some more, bro. - We arrive at the whare. You know, he's well known to his people of the community, and so this will be the whanau's time to have their words with him,... to share their words with each other. (WOMAN CALLS KARANGA) - As we take Uncle Jack into the lounge, we notice that the whare has been redecorated. There have been photos placed. There have been white sheets placed up. The white sheets have been placed up to cover the kitchen area, to separate the kai preparation area from where the tupapaku will lay. And this is a great example of how tikanga is managed. Tikanga has changed to the surrounding situation, and they've made it work for them as a whanau. - Dad's now home. He helped a lot of less fortunate whanau,... (SNIFFLES) right from the time where I couldn't. - Bumper is the youngest of Uncle Jack and Auntie Ev. He is the potiki. - Dad always loved people. - You know, he's pining for his dad. Doesn't matter how old we are ` that loss of any parent, no matter how old we are, you're going to have that mamae. (ALL SING WAIATA) - We're at the service. All my cousins are there and my mum ` my mum's here. My mum and Auntie Ev are sisters, and, you know, she's wanting to support her sister now. Auntie Ev and my mum are from a family of 18. 18! Like, holy heck, there was seriously no TV back then, I think. - (SPEAKS TE REO MAORI) (CONTINUES SPEAKING TE REO MAORI) (WAIATA CONTINUES) - Uncle Jack has been sick for some time, and the whanau have done their best to prepare for this. But it's happened now. And so they're having to come to terms with accepting this... big loss for them. (WAIATA CONTINUES) Uncle Jack is lying in Te Atatu North for one night, and early in the morning, he will be taken back to his... to Whangara. (SPEAKS TE REO MAORI) (WAIATA CONTINUES) (TINKLY MUSIC) - We've decided to celebrate the up and coming Matariki holiday a bit early, and we've decided to have a hangi together with, um, the whanau, the Tipene Funerals whanau. - This is making me realise I need to lose weight, cos everything's jiggling. - Uh, maybe three more chairs, eh? - Kai tahi is a big part of Tipene Funerals' culture. I love that Matariki is in full force. It's only right that we celebrate this together as a whanau every year. I just had to quickly help myself. (SLURPS) Mmm. - It comes as no surprise that my wife snuck a hundred of the kinas down before they even made it to the table. - I just don't want this to end. (SLURPS) Mmm. - She should have waited for karakia, but... that's her. - (SLURPS) When there's lots of punnets,... That's beautiful. (GIGGLES) ...surely I can have one. There we go. It's like no one's... seen anything. - (SPEAKS TE REO MAORI) - ALL: Amine. - Kia ora, everybody. Let's eat. - Ae. - It would be fair to say that eating kai is a big part of the Tipene Funerals culture. It doesn't derive from Tipene Funerals ` it derives from Maori culture, Pacific culture. And so we just follow on those traditions and practices. We talk about tapu and noa, noa, we have a karakia, but also the kai will bring us back to noa. So every day we have tangi, so we're tapu, so every day we have to eat so we get noa. (LAUGHS) Did we get any bread? No, eh? Cos most people only, you know, do it when they go to a tangi ` well, we have tangi every day. - It's fine. - Some of the staff tasted some kaimoana. Not everyone eats the kaimoana. Jana tasted some oyster. Yeah! - (CHEERS) - (LAUGHTER) Which a lot of staff don't eat. And so she was brave enough to do that, which was beautiful. Fiona had an oyster and a potato. - OK, I'm gonna taste an oyster. Here we go. - Really? - The potato was to compensate for the taro, which wasn't there. - It's not bad. It's actually quite nice. - We were just trying to Maori-fy Fiona with some riwai. - You had to have with a potato? - Yeah, of course ` I'm an islander. Come on. (LAUGHS) There's no taro. - She wasn't very impressed that we didn't get any taro with the kai, so heoi ano ` maybe next time we'll do that. - You can do it, Jay. Just one. - No, I'll get it over my suit. - Do it with potato. - Oyster was like another version of mussels, but real salty. Yeah, I think I won't try it ever again. - When I did taste it, it was just like seawater. I was, like, what am I eating? - Yeah, I know. - I feel sorry for her a little bit, but at the same time, I'm just, like, 'Don't waste my oyster. E kai. 'And be happy.' - I try to look at the kina, but, oh, that's disgusting. But the prawns were nice with the sauce. Can't eat anything else. - Oh wow. - It was important to have some kaimoana accompany the hangi, because a few of the staff like the kaimoana, but also with Kaiora, she will just appreciate anything from the sea. And it was evident she did. - (SLURPS) I feel now that there's a precedent set, where kina and oyster have to be part of this kai tahi... every year. (TINKLY MUSIC) - Today we have Tagisia Lolomatauama Saneli'vi, who was 75 years old, and the causes of death have now been referred to the Coroners. (POIGNANT MUSIC) - Tagisia was missing from home. There has been a massive search on media, asking people just to keep an eye out for Tagisia, and unfortunately, the following day, family had received news that she had passed away. - (SNIFFLING, SOBBING) - See, look, your honey bunny's here. (POIGNANT MUSIC) - Family have not seen Tagisia since she went missing. And so the dressing now is going to be emotional. (MUSIC CONTINUES) Tagisia does not have children, and her sister's children are her children, so trying to build up the confidence for the girls to be strong. It's going to be a bit of a roller coaster in the dressing room, but we've gotta allow that, given that it's only a short period of time before we have to lay Tagisia to rest. - (SPEAKS SAMOAN) - And we are going to place her in her casket and take her home to her family for a night. Tagisia is wearing a beautiful golden puletasi, a Samoan traditional outfit. She looks amazing. She was a person that always liked to look simple, but very elegant, and she was a lady that always needed to have a scarf So no matter what outfit she had, she always had a matching scarf. She looks absolutely beautiful. - You all right? - Plus her handle's in the middle of everything. - We've arrived at Tagisia's house. We'll go up these little, few stairs that it was a bit narrow, you know, and our boys are built differently, so we're just trying to figure out how we're gonna manoeuvre the casket. We need to make sure that she's not going too high or too low. And then when we're getting up the staircase, we've actually got a great-nephew that actually is on his knees, elevating the casket up, while the boys are carrying up the top and the back. But we get her in there. (SNIFFLING, SOBBING) The emotions for the rest of the family, who hasn't been able to see her from the dressing, it is quite high. They are trying to keep themselves contained. Our culture, our Samoans, we don't tend to cry loud, but the children, obviously they're young children, the great-nieces and -nephews are just besides themselves, because there is a lady, that is now in a casket, that once were someone that looked after them and nursed them and gave them everything they wanted. This is a person that was a mover for their family, that did things behind the scenes, and now she's gone. - (SOBS) - And it is significant for the family to have her back home. Given that the night before, everyone's been out on the search, so it is quite fitting that Tagisia's going back to her children and her sister, to lie in state one more time, before she is laid to rest. (POIGNANT MUSIC) We're now arriving back at Tagisia's home. - Can I put those in the front? - Oh, no, I'm gonna give it to the family. Today I have the assistance of Francis. Yeah? - Mm-hm. - I'm expecting a bit of an emotional roller coaster, when we do enter, to close her for the last time. - You guys put your letters in here? - Yeah. - There's a lot more family there. And obviously they have been farewelling her for a bit, earlier, during the morning, saying goodbye, and now the sister of Tagisia is now asking to children to hurry it along, because we need to now leave for the service. - (SOBS) (SNIFFLES) - The farewell isn't going as planned, time-wise. The children of Tagisia's sister is finding it really hard to farewell her. Given that, you know, the last day always brings up, um, past years in your mind, and you're trying to all... configure it into one moment to say thank you. - You all right? OK. On three. One, two, three, up. Come up and keep your head down low and feet up high, as we come up together, eh? - We've got to our church. People are very emotional. We had a lot of community people come through the time of Tagisia's disappearance, come and assist the family, to try and search for her. And it's such a beautiful feeling, just to see that there are a lot of support from the community, not just Samoans; there are Tongans. There are Maoris, Pakehas, who have come to pay their respect for her. (ALL SING SAMOAN HYMN) Tagisia was seen as the mother figure for these children ` she disciplined him, she washed them, bathed them, schooled them, walked them and spoilt them. So these children, and their own children as well, have had the privilege of this lady to look after them. And this is the beauty of family ` they are always there to support you, and they're their backbone. And Tagisia definitely was the backbone to her sister's children's upbringing. - She, to us, was a loving mother. She was our counsellor. She was our advisor. She was also our banker. But she was always a calm before, and after, any storm in our lives, and it carried on to our children. - If you had the privilege to meet our Nana Sia, you'll know she is the kindest person you'll ever meet. Nana Sia was like our second mother. When I would get angry at my real mum,... I'll run to Sia, and I'll say, 'This is my real mum. 'This is my real mum.' Thank you for loving us grandchildren the way you did. We will never forget you, and we will miss you so much. Love you, Nana. - OK. One, two, three. Up we go. Watch your head. Gonna come over this way here. - We have been fortunate enough to locate a grave that is opposite Tagisia's brother-in-law and niece. And it's a beautiful gesture for the family that they're all in one area. - (SPEAKS SAMOAN) (POIGNANT MUSIC) - Tagisia,... (TINKLY MUSIC) - A lot of people do ask about ghosts, and do we feel spirits and are we scared? And so it's up to you whether you accept it and take it on, because it can be, uh, scary for kaimahi, or a funeral director to know that's all happening around you, when you're by yourself in the middle of the night. Our embalmer, Mary, or Mere, as we call her, she said that in her home, she's been feeling and hearing spirits, or ghosts. So the next thing was to organise a visit to the whare, to see what was going on. I can't hear in this ear, so talk to me in this ear, because it's playing up. I just got mauiui. Pardon? - Oh. (LAUGHS) - Our Mere loves animals, particularly cats. You know your animals, like the cats, have they been strange? - Yes. - They have? What have they been doing? - My Deaf cat, she, like` - Deaf cat? - Yeah. (LAUGHS) - There's more of a spiritual aspect to the cat being Deaf and displaying these, uh, unusual behaviours. I had a deaf ear that day. And so the cat was Deaf, and so we sort of understood each other. We just got all the whanau and our kaimahi following us to touch the wall. And why we do that is to put the mauri of our being, we wanted to place it within the whare, because we only brought beautiful thoughts of aroha with us, and so we wanted that to remain in the home. We entered into the kitchen area, and there, we saw the cat that was displaying unusual behaviour that Mere mentioned. - I couldn't feel any presence there. I could see lots of ngeru. Oh hello. Kia ora. (CAT MIAOWS) After the karakia, Mere feels a little bit more settled. - BOTH: # Wairua tapu # tau mai ra. # - As part of tikanga, we would finish this process with a... with a kai. - And it's not to fill our bellies or to have, you know, talks with one another; it actually serves a purpose, of bringing everyone out of tapu into noa, and that is what we needed to do. But I'm not sure that we let Mere know this. And I didn't wanna apply that pressure on her, to cook a big boil up with fried bread ` that's too much for her to do. We just thought we'd pop down to the local bakery and sit together and whakanoa, the big waerea whare that had just taken place. (PHONE LINE RINGS) - Hello? - Morning, dear. Oh, sorry ` good afternoon. How are you? Mere wasn't coming in to work the next day, cos she was on annual leave, but I thought it would be good to give her a call and to follow up with her. - I slept all night. - Good, dear. I think I might need a blessing in my house ` I need a good sleep too, keep waking up. But mine's to empty my bladder, though. - Mere and her whanau, and her ngeru, are able to have better sleeps at night. - All right. Bye, dear. Bye-bye. - Thank you. Bye. Bye. (TUTS) (SIGHS) Might be my new side business ` ghost-busting. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air.