Captions by James Brown. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2023 (CHEERFUL MUSIC) - We as a family are going to Fiji for a little bit of R&R. And also we want to go and visit one of our beautiful friends. Her name is Maggie or Makareta Tuidraki, who lives in a village called Narewa. I might also have a surprise plan for my wife. This green building here ` what's that one? - This is the community hall. - Community hall, eh? - The green one and the other one on your left. - We met Maggie three years ago when we first went to Fiji. And she's a qualified nanny who worked in one of the resorts that we stayed at. And our kids absolutely loved her. - That's the church. - Holy moly! That's marvellous. - Oh my gosh! Wow! - Whoa! That's huge! - So, we go through the entrance to come up. - Mum, can I live here? - Oh, OK. Uh... Hmm... - When Maggie came to New Zealand to visit us, she was pregnant. And so she was only here for three months. And at that time, we went into lockdown, and so the planes and everything closed. She couldn't get back to Fiji to have baby with her family, as she would have liked. Instead, she had baby in our home. And when baby was born, the family in Fiji and Maggie asked us to name her little Fijian girl. And we called her Aroha. - Wow! Just wow, wow, wow everything. - Upon arriving in Fiji, we've learnt that Maggie's aunty, Aunty Tui, has passed away. And so of course, being who we are, we said we would go and attend, to support Maggie and also to pay our respects to her beautiful aunty. - So, this is Grandma. Say bula. - Hello, Grandma. - When you go to a tangi, especially here in New Zealand, we take a gift, or a koha. The tikanga, or the way in which the Fijian people do it, requires us to give some kava and some kerosene. And so we need to go to the market to source some kava, and then also to Nadi town to find some kerosene. - Aue. I'm so hot. Oh, that feels so good. Wow. - If you haven't been to Fiji, it is hot. - Oh my goodness! Look at this market. - Welcome to the Nadi market. - First things first, is that we must go off and buy some kava. But my husband is worried about getting the trolley. - Do they have trolleys, Maggie? - No. - To put the baby in? - No, they don't have trolleys. - Whilst we're out in the markets ` just open-air markets, it's not an indoor mall ` it is very, very hot. And so at the same time, I'm carrying Junior. - No trolley. Oh my gosh. What are you up to? - We didn't really bring a pram, and they don't have trolleys there. And so just our body heat on each other, it's just... it's a nightmare. - Not that I offered to carry him, either. No. Or share any of that burden. Oh, heck no. It was hot! I'm just gonna get a coconut and a pineapple. I love this market. It reminds me of my markets at home, where there's fresh fruits available, vegetables. Obviously these are local people from certain villages who are needing some putea for themselves. So they obviously come here every day in the hope that they could sell their huawhenua. I'm just loving how fresh everything is. And the pineapple looked amazing. - Heavy. - Yeah. OK. I'll get my son to carry it. Here we go. Thank you. Is this kava here? - Yeah, that's kava. - This is kava? Aue. This is the first time that I've ever seen kava. I've always heard about kava and its traditions, but I've never seen it like that, wrapped up in a ribbon. This is a form of koha. It's a delicacy. He tino taonga. I respect that. - I know we're at the markets to buy some kava for the tangi. OK. And without being disrespectful,... Vinaka. Thank you. ...all I really want to do is go and find a pram to put the baby in. - I'm getting to know everything about this Fijian express. - Oh, there's a trolley! Moronai, help me with this trolley. Can Junior hop in it? (CLANG!) It's broken. - My husband has gone missing. - Do you sell pram? Pram? Yeah. You got a pram there? They've got a pram. Wait there. You wait there. Go wait over by Mum. Have you got a pram here? Oh, bula. Can I buy one? Ahh! Let's go. - Oh, where did my husband go? - He's got a pram. - Did he go and buy a pram? Ohh! - Yeah! Pram. Are you hungry? (GENTLE MUSIC) - We've arrived to the village, and we've come to give koha, but also to show our aroha for the iwi. - (SPEAKS FIJIAN) - You're very nervous. You don't wanna do anything wrong and get told off or kicked out. And so the best thing to do is just keep quiet, open your eyes, open your ears, and do what the others were doing. - This is new to me. I love their tikanga, and I'm embracing what's happening. I just want to learn more. I'm scared that I may takahi on my movements, because I see that there's tane here. I'm just grateful Maggie's able to be there for that taha wahine, there to help me through this. Wherever she is, I feel safe. And I'd always turn back and just ask her, 'Is it OK? Am I doing it right?' She's like, 'No, you're fine.' - So, before we drink the kava, we clap three times. And that means that we accept the kava, and that we drink it. The kava was interesting. It wasn't really my cup of tea. - Ah! - (MEN CLAP) - Oh my goodness! How rude, eh? Did you want a mic with that? I am a little scared. But I still want to be present to experience this. It's kava. I've heard all about kava. I'm about to partake, and I'm nervous as well. Ehara tenei te takahi i tenei mea te inu i te kava. I just hope that I didn't show any yucky feelings if I had any. - Bula. Ka pai. (CHEERFUL ISLAND MUSIC) - The morning of the funeral service, everyone from the village comes together to do something to help, to participate in making sure that it's a beautiful farewell ` from cleaning, from preparing garments, tablecloths, kai. And those similarities are the same with us here at home as well. We all come together at the marae or at our home to make sure it's a beautiful farewell. - Bula. - They're even cutting up the head. - The best, eh? - The best one. - Ooh! I know a few people's tongues we could cut out. - There's a pig. There's a pig down there. A black pig. - Yes, yes, yes. There's heaps of pigs over there. Dogs. (SOMBRE MUSIC) - Today is the funeral service for Auntie Tui. And although there as mourners, we're open to experience and to feel and to awhi where needed. (TEARFUL WAILING) - (SPEAKS FIJIAN) - As Auntie Tui returned home and the boot of the car was opened, there was a speech given by one of the matua there, as he was holding a whale's tooth. Although I didn't understand what he was saying. you don't need to question it, because you just see it and you understand it. You can feel the pouri and the mamae in the words when he conveys his korero. One thing that isn't different, which I think happens in a lot of places around the world, is that trying to manoeuvre a casket through the doorway of a home. And I think the boys did a great job of doing that. (CRYING) - KAIORA: Kei pae te whare i nga wahine. I'm unsure about the formalities with the tane, but again, I'm following Maggie through this. I love how the wahine and the tamariki are all inside. They're sitting down, they're with their tupapaku, and they're mourning with her. - When we went into the room to pay our respects to Auntie Tui in the casket, you felt the mamae of the family, and her husband and sisters and her mum as well. I was a little bit nervous at the same time, not to be in the way and not to be impeding into a ceremony, a ritual that, you know, we don't know anything about. - Ka kite i te pouritanga, te mamae, nga roimata. - That's the thing about grief. You don't have to know someone to experience it. You just have to feel. And so that is definitely what happened when we entered the room to see Auntie Tui. That mamae there, that pouri, is the same as it is here back at home. - I wanted to mihi to her and tuku aroha. There's a life that's once lived, you know, and you can't help but acknowledge them for that. He moe e te mareikura. Whakatau mai ra koe i to waka taoki. This whole thing is a new experience for me. And so I'm going to embrace all of this. (GENTLE PIANO MUSIC) - The service has ended, and they're going to carry Aunty through to the car which awaits her. But before we do that, we're going to witness something very amazing, very different. And that is whanau and friends are going to pay their final respects by walking under Aunty Tui's casket and back around. And that is another form of respect in the way in which they do it, in that area of Fiji, in Nadi. And I thought that was really, really nice ` something new that opened up our eyes to another way of grief and of tangi and of death. And it was special. - This is the last act that you can do for your loved one, to send them, to release them, to acknowledge them and let them go. We come back around, we do that last act, to tuku. - Upon arriving to the urupa, a lovely place, a peaceful place to be, and a nice resting place for Aunty Tui. And so at the grave you'll see all the children sitting there next to Aunty Tui's grave. They will be singing hymns. (CHILDREN SING FIJIAN HYMN) - I absolutely love that tamariki are present. They're singing. They're participating. And they're helping to backfill. They don't need no spades ` they're in there with their feet, they're in there with their hands. And it all comes very natural to them. - As the whanau were backfilling the grave, just had a little feeling to do a little mihi, a poroporoaki to Aunty Tui, to say farewell, and wherever you're going, be it Hawaiki nui, Hawaiki roa, Hawaiki pamaomao, or to heaven, may you get there in peace and safety. No reira e te whaea, haere, haere atu ra. Hoki atu ki o tupuna matua tatari mai na ki tua o te arai. Okioki ra ki roto i te poho o Papatuanuku. Tera tiraha nei ki roto ki nga rua koiwi a ratou ma. Haere, haere, haere atu ra. (CHEERFUL ISLAND MUSIC) - Oh, look at this, Uncle. It's nice, eh? After the experience that we've just had with Aunty Tui's tangi and being part of the whole ceremony with the village, it made me realise just how short life is. And so it was important to grab every moment we can. And so hence we've come to a time where I'm gonna grab a moment and make it all about my wife. Oh, thank you. I've just gotta get my vows out. Thank you, Uncle. - Dad, who's gonna be married? - Huh? - Who's gonna be married? - Me and your mum. - Thank you for coming. I even ordered my own champagne. - I see that. - My husband has surprised me with a wedding vow renewal. And I'm getting my make-up done. For our first wedding, I didn't get my make-up done, but this is new, and it's beautiful. - Yeah, I've got one ring here. And that's it. We just chuck it on. We never got a wedding. We were at the Kaitaia courthouse and got married then. So I hope, with this beautiful backdrop and that island in the back, she is happy with everything that we've done. And I think the people that needed to be there were there. And put Daddy's glasses there, eh? - Oh, look at her! Look at her bloody hair and everything. - Oh, this old thing? - As part of the surprise, we've organised to have some of our friends and whanau come over. It was important that Kaiora had her sister and brother-in-law, Auntie Ngawai, Uncle Jared, and our niece and nephew, and also Foliki, Jana and Fiona have come over as well. We've also got some of Maggie's whanau now from Narewa. And also there was a couple of people just watching. (MEN SING FIJIAN SONG) The beautiful singers start singing the song Isa Lei, which we love. And she loves that song too. In the Maori, we always have to feed the minister. They're the first ones, not the bride and the groom. The ministers always go first. And then my son starts walking her down the aisle. I think to myself, oh, all these thousands of dollars for this moment. - # Isa sobo lei... - My son's walking me down the aisle, and I'm actually feeling a bit emotional. One of our favourite songs are playing at the moment - Come right here. - Vinaka. - Stop there. - I'm emotional, because he's surprised me. - Who has the right to give this bride to this man? You say, 'I do.' - Oh. Yes. I do. - Of all places, he's surprised me in a place that I have a lot of love for. So... Yeah, I'm just feeling really grateful. - Good relationships never stop evolving. Just like fine wine, they get better with age. - I think my wife will be appreciative of this romantic gesture and surprise which I've put on for her. It was very, very hard to keep the secret the whole way through. There was lots of help from everyone around, lots of little lies told, and they were just to make sure the surprise comes off without any hitches, so it worked beautifully. - Many couples tend to think that marriage is a 50-50 proposition. But actually the best relationships are 90-10. - (CHUCKLES) OK. If you both will give 90% and only take 10%, you will have a formula likely to bring you both happiness for the rest of your lives. - He's definitely pulled it off today, with all of his kupu. - My darling, on our wedding day in 2005 I vowed to love you in sickness and in health, for better or for worse. And over the past 17 years, these vows have been tested, sometimes immensely. But our enduring love for one another has prevailed. I am here today with you, my eternal companion, to make a fresh start and to renew our vows of love, honour, fidelity, and to reaffirm my love for you. Ko koe te pito o taku ao. Ki te kore koe ka kore hoki ahau. Ko koe te pou tokomanawa, te kamaka o to matou whanau. Tenei ahau e aroha nuitia ki a koe mo ake tonu atu. Can I kiss her? Or wait? - Wait. - Wait. OK. - TEARFULLY: You are my inspiration. You are the fire to my soul. You're the magic of all my days. You make me laugh. You teach me true love and patience. You provide a safe place for me and all our children, our tamariki. You are the key to my heart forever. And you will forever be my eternal love. - OK. Can you take out the ring now? - Vinaka. Kaiora, from this day on, I will commit myself to you. And this ring is a symbol of my pledge. - Vinaka. - Vinaka. - May you live the days of your lives in peace, love and happiness. I, Usaia Draunimasi, a marriage officer by law, do affirm that you have expressed your desire to continue as husband and wife! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) You may now kiss. - Vinaka. (GENTLE MUSIC) The Casketeers show was an idea at one point. Kia ora. Tena koutou katoa. I'm Francis Tipene. - Lower. Lower. What did you have for lunch today? - One chicken, without the... - Without the skin, for lunch? - Yes. And some coleslaw. Real little bit. That's why I'm starving. - Who put this on? - I did. - OK. We need to put it on again. - Mmm! (SLURPS) (WHIMSICAL MUSIC) - And it's turned into a beautiful show, which has been made possible by all these families that have come through to the funeral home and have agreed to have their funerals and their loved ones and friends and whanau filmed. So now, as we come to the end, I want to dedicate this to them all. Thank you for saying yes to allowing us to film and share some of the most private times in one's life. Ka nui te mihi aroha ki a koutou. - # Whano ko te aroha. # Whano ko te ngakau tuahae. # Whano ko te ao reka. # Whano ko te ao marire. - No reira e te whanau, ko tai mai matou ki te mutunga o tenei hotaka. We wish to acknowledge whanau that have shared their journey with us. - Ki te kore koutou, ka kore hoki matou. Tenei te reo aroha, tenei te reo mihi, ka whatoro atu ki a koutou katoa. It has been our great privilege to share our customs and tikanga with you. - From our whanau of the Casketeers to your whanau. - Tena koutou, tena koutou, - BOTH: tena koutou katoa. # Ko murimuri aroha